Winter Season Side Story

I-hyeon slowly opened his eyes as the bright light slipped between his eyelids. The first thing he saw was a man's bare chest. Still too drained to move, he merely blinked a few times before resting his forehead against that chest. It felt solid beneath his skin. When I-hyeon smiled sleepily without realising it, Seung-hyuk, still half asleep, slipped an arm around his back and drew him closer out of habit.

 

Thump, thump, thump. The slow, steady breathing and heartbeat of a sleeping man, together with the warm sunshine pouring through the large window, made the languid morning all the more peaceful. With a faint smile on his lips, I-hyeon gently rubbed his thumb against Seung-hyuk's waist.

 

“…Awake?”

 

A low, slightly husky voice sounded above his head. Perhaps his fidgeting fingers tickled, because Seung-hyuk covered the back of his hand with one large palm and familiarly interlaced their fingers. I-hyeon lifted his forehead from Seung-hyuk's chest and looked up, meeting his faintly frowning eyes. The corners of Seung-hyuk's mouth rose when he saw him.

 

“You're up early. You didn't have to wake me—”

 

“I did wake you, though.”

 

At the suggestion that lying quietly in his arms and stroking his bare waist counted as waking someone up, Seung-hyuk gave a soft laugh. It was such a quintessentially Kwon I-hyeon thing to do. He lowered his head and briefly pressed his lips to I-hyeon's forehead.

 

“It's nice seeing Kwon I-hyeon's face first thing when I open my eyes.”

 

One of the actors at his company had caused a scandal, bringing a rush of urgent problems that had forced Seung-hyuk to live with uncharacteristic diligence over the past week. This rare peaceful weekend was more welcome than ever. He tipped up I-hyeon's chin with his thumb and planted little kisses all over his clear face.

 

“Sleep well?”

 

“Yeah. You?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Playful kisses followed along I-hyeon's temples, eyelids and the bridge of his nose. I-hyeon giggled at the ticklish sensation. Seung-hyuk cupped his cheek and lowered his head farther, then began lightly licking the lips he had spent the previous night kissing and sucking, leaving them a little fuller than usual. It was almost as though he were asking I-hyeon to open his mouth.

 

I-hyeon instinctively raised his chin and was about to part his lips when he noticed Seung-hyuk lifting himself up to climb on top of him. He quickly turned his face aside.

 

Seung-hyuk met his gaze with a sulky frown. But if I-hyeon allowed the kiss, there was every chance they would repeat what had happened in the early hours, when Seung-hyuk had pushed him to his limits. It was not that he disliked it. He simply had plans for today, so he firmly pushed Seung-hyuk's shoulders away and sat up.

 

“I'm hungry.”

 

Then he slipped out of bed like a cat, making Seung-hyuk laugh in disbelief. His bare legs looked smooth beneath the pyjama top Seung-hyuk had dressed him in the night before. The ache in Seung-hyuk's lower abdomen, which had been there from the moment he woke, seemed to grow stronger. Nevertheless, he gave up without a fight, lay back facing the ceiling and called towards the closed bathroom door.

 

“Take your time in the shower.”

 

First, he would get some food into Kwon I-hyeon, who claimed to be hungry.

 

──── 📘📘 ────

 

The moment I-hyeon emerged from the bedroom after showering, Horang came over as though he had been waiting and rubbed his forehead against I-hyeon's leg. I-hyeon picked the cat up in both hands, cradled him against his chest and called towards Seung-hyuk, who was bustling about in the kitchen.

 

“Did you feed Horang?”

 

“Yeah. He must've been hungry. He practically inhaled his food as soon as I opened a tin.”

 

After jumping onto the bed at several inopportune moments when the mood between the two men was heating up, Horang had been banned from the bedroom by Seung-hyuk. Feeling sorry for the cat, who had spent the long night alone on his cushion beside the living-room sofa, I-hyeon took some treats from a cupboard. At once, the little legs began struggling in his arms.

 

“All right. I'll put you down.”

 

He put the small treats into a round food-dispensing ball and set it before the cat, who immediately turned all his attention towards it. After checking that Horang was rolling the puzzle feeder around to retrieve his treats, I-hyeon stood and headed into the kitchen.

 

“It's almost ready. Sit down.”

 

Seung-hyuk was wearing only the pyjama bottoms that matched I-hyeon's top. He spoke without turning around from the induction hob. Each time he shook the frying pan in his hand, the muscles in his back stood out. I-hyeon spotted the distinct scratches left by fingernails across it and quietly looked away.

 

“You could've stayed in bed a little longer until I finished washing. I'd have helped you make breakfast…”

 

Soup and side dishes were neatly arranged on the table. Admittedly, most had simply been transferred to plates from food prepared by the housekeeper who visited regularly, but Seung-hyuk had made a few himself that morning. The rolled omelette he had failed at a few days earlier was now neatly rolled and fluffy.

 

“Why bother when I can do it?”

 

There was not the slightest hint of showing off in Seung-hyuk's matter-of-fact reply. I-hyeon rubbed the back of his neck. He still was not used to someone preparing his meals for him. Besides, as someone who had seldom eaten a proper breakfast, he found the generous spread almost embarrassingly excessive.

 

Whether or not he noticed I-hyeon's discomfort, Seung-hyuk set a beautifully filled bowl of rice in front of him as he sat down.

 

“…That's too much rice.”

 

“Eat plenty. You said you were hungry.”

 

“I still can't finish all this. It'll be a waste.”

 

“I'll eat the leftovers. Just have as much as you can.”

 

Seung-hyuk had never been someone who took particularly good care of his meals either. The fact that he now made sure they ate breakfast every morning before work was one of the many changes since they began living together.

 

I-hyeon had been accustomed to working nights and going to sleep in the morning. Even after changing his daily routine, he often did not eat his first meal until after noon. Seeing that had prompted Seung-hyuk to take drastic measures.

 

He prepared breakfast every morning, cleared up afterwards, and only then took his time getting ready for work. Even when I-hyeon offered to do the washing-up, he refused to budge.

 

Having lived diligently out of necessity since childhood, I-hyeon sometimes worried about him. Seung-hyuk would eat breakfast, spend ages hovering around I-hyeon and flirting, then barely begin getting ready for work after ten. What if the people at his company thought badly of him?

 

But I-hyeon worried only because he did not know the truth: the staff actually welcomed Gu Seung-hyuk's absence, and Seung-hyuk currently considered getting a little more food into Kwon I-hyeon's mouth far more important than the company.

 

“You seem to like the braised tofu.”

 

“Oh, yeah. It's good.”

 

“I'll ask the housekeeper to make more next time she comes. Eat up.”

 

I-hyeon nodded towards Seung-hyuk, who sat opposite with his arms folded, watching him intently. The satisfied expression on his face was like that of a mother watching her child eat well. Embarrassed, I-hyeon lowered his eyes and continued eating. Then Seung-hyuk spoke in a slightly sulky voice.

 

“Why aren't you eating the rolled omelette, though?”

 

I-hyeon's chopsticks faltered. Half a piece of omelette, from which he had taken only a bite, lay abandoned beside his rice. It looked yellow and appetising from the outside. From the outside, at least. After some hesitation, I-hyeon answered with a question.

 

“Have you tried this?”

 

“No. Why?”

 

“…Never mind.”

 

“What? Why'd you stop halfway through?”

 

Seung-hyuk raised an eyebrow, pulled his chair closer and picked up his chopsticks. He put a piece of the omelette into his mouth, then immediately said,

 

“Hey, don't eat this.”

 

He reached out and picked up the plate.

 

“No, it's all right. It's edible.”

 

“Edible, my arse. It's fucking salty.”

 

Startled by the sudden reaction, I-hyeon caught Seung-hyuk's wrist, but Seung-hyuk stood firmly and took the plate away. His reaction was much stronger than I-hyeon had expected. I-hyeon tucked in his lips and watched him silently. Seung-hyuk returned from the water dispenser with a glass and held it out.

 

“I'll make it properly tomorrow. Fuck, now that's gone and ruined Kwon I-hyeon's appetite.”

 

The fact that Seung-hyuk was frowning and getting annoyed on his behalf made I-hyeon's chest feel strangely ticklish. He tilted the glass towards his mouth to conceal the smile creeping onto his lips.

 

“What time's the performance today?”

 

“Three.”

 

“Let's go shopping at the department store before that. We can get some spring clothes.”

 

The long winter that had seemed as though it would last for ever was finally drawing to a close. It was not properly warm yet, but people walking along the streets were already wearing much lighter clothes. Spring always suggested a new beginning. Perhaps the approaching season seemed especially welcome because the winter just gone had been so terribly long.

 

“All right.”

 

So I-hyeon obediently nodded, doing his best to put out of his mind the wardrobe Seung-hyuk had already filled for him with clothes whose price tags had been removed but which he had never worn. He knew he was not the only one looking forward to the coming spring.

 

──── 📘📘 ────

 

“Oh, there it is. Come on.”

 

After leaving his car with the valet and entering the luxury department store, Seung-hyuk headed straight for a fashion boutique lavishly decorated in gold. The face of Medusa gleamed from a wall amid ornate circular patterns, with the brand name displayed in enormous letters above it. I-hyeon stopped Seung-hyuk by the arm before he could walk straight inside.

 

“…Here?”

 

“Yeah, here. Why?”

 

It was a brand famous for its distinctive designs, which could charitably be called extravagant and, less charitably, gaudy. Most people knew that those so-called loan-shark shirts worn by gangsters in films and television dramas imitated its patterns. And as though to prove that reputation was not entirely unfounded, the former gangster Gu Seung-hyuk answered without hesitation,

 

“It's my favourite brand.”

 

Even without its reputation as a label favoured by flashy nouveau-riche customers—a reputation that would probably make the designer collapse in horror—the shop's atmosphere was the exact opposite of I-hyeon's taste. Still, it was difficult to say that after hearing it was Seung-hyuk's favourite. Reluctantly, he followed him inside.

 

“We'll have a look ourselves and let you know if we need anything.”

 

Seung-hyuk dismissed the employee who approached them, went straight to a rack against the wall and began pushing hangers aside without hesitation. I-hyeon scratched his eyebrow and watched the clothes sway.

 

Thankfully, they were not all covered in gold chains and dazzling patterns as he had imagined, but most were still far too elaborate for everyday wear. Seung-hyuk apparently disagreed. His expression as he examined the clothes was remarkably serious.

 

Well, it's his favourite brand. I should let him enjoy looking around.

 

I-hyeon took a step away and idly ran his fingers over the edge of a hanging garment.

 

“What about this?”

 

Seung-hyuk had taken out a silk shirt and was holding it up towards him. One look at it sent I-hyeon's gaze straight to Seung-hyuk's face.

 

“Why? You don't like it?”

 

There was not a trace of amusement in his puzzled expression. He genuinely seemed to have selected the outrageous shirt, densely covered in gold flowers and feathers, without a hint of a joke.

 

Only then did I-hyeon begin remembering the clothes Seung-hyuk had worn in the past, particularly the outfits he favoured at work. Shirts covered in red flowers, gold chains or intricate little floral patterns. Bright, conspicuous, flamboyant shirts…

 

Looking back, every one of them had been extraordinarily flashy. I-hyeon had scarcely noticed because Seung-hyuk usually wore a black suit jacket or coat over them, and because his attention had always been fixed on Seung-hyuk's face. Come to think of it, even the checked blouson Seung-hyuk was wearing now would be difficult to style on its own.

 

“What about this instead?”

 

Keeping his face as composed as possible, I-hyeon selected the plainest piece he could find and held it out to him. In truth, even that was excessive by I-hyeon's standards. But Seung-hyuk raised a straight eyebrow sceptically.

 

“Isn't it a bit plain? I think this one's better.”

 

“…”

 

“Never mind. We can try both. Where are the changing rooms?”

 

I-hyeon turned away, silently hoping Seung-hyuk would choose the shirt he had suggested, and sighed. He was about to head towards a sofa, away from the dazzling patterns that made his eyes tired just to look at them, when someone caught his arm.

 

“Where are you going? They said the changing rooms are over there.”

 

“Hm?”

 

I-hyeon's eyes widened as he instinctively accepted the hangers Seung-hyuk pushed towards him. Only then did he realise that Seung-hyuk had been carefully selecting clothes for him, not for himself. For a moment he was speechless.

 

“Oh, and while you're changing, try this on too. This is nice.”

 

Seung-hyuk was reaching for a pair of trousers covered in intricate prints on a nearby rack when I-hyeon hastily seized his hand.

 

“Wait, wait. Gu Seung-hyuk. Are you serious?”

 

“About what? They're nice. Excuse me!”

 

I-hyeon gave a small shake of his head towards the employee approaching at Seung-hyuk's call, but she either did not notice his horrified expression or chose to ignore it. She walked briskly towards them. I-hyeon leaned close to Seung-hyuk's ear and whispered urgently,

 

“Hey… Gu Seung-hyuk. Let's go somewhere else.”

 

“What? Why? Could you check whether these come in his size?”

 

“You have a good eye, sir. This range is new this season, and it's very popular.”

 

“Hear that? It's this season's new range.”

 

For some reason he looked proud. Unable to find a response, I-hyeon rubbed his face, handed the hangers to the employee and smiled awkwardly.

 

“Oh, you don't need to take these for us. We're going to have a look somewhere else first.”

 

“Hey, Kwon I-hyeon, why? Where are you going without even trying anything on?”

 

“I don't think this shop's right for me. Come on, quickly.”

 

I-hyeon thanked the employee, pushed Seung-hyuk towards the door and urged him along in a low voice. Grabbing his bewildered boyfriend's wrist, he pulled him away from the gold-covered shop.

 

“But there were loads of nice clothes. Why leave without trying any?”

 

“Because everything was far too flashy.”

 

“What's wrong with flashy? Flashy is good. You've got such a pretty face that you need to wear things like that or the clothes won't stand out.”

 

The shameless answer, delivered even as Seung-hyuk allowed himself to be dragged along reluctantly, made I-hyeon cover his eyes with a hand. Then he realised Seung-hyuk might find somewhere even more outrageous, so he hurried into the neat-looking boutique directly ahead.

 

Just seeing the restrained interior, decorated in muted colours, was a relief. A quick glance around confirmed that the clothes were fairly understated too. Admittedly, the prices would be anything but modest, but he decided to worry about that later. He started looking for the tidiest pieces he could find, with Gu Seung-hyuk at his side raising an unimpressed eyebrow.

 

“Isn't that a bit boring?”

 

“The middle's too empty. Don't like it.”

 

“Why does everything here look so half-hearted?”

 

Every time I-hyeon picked something he thought looked good, Seung-hyuk delivered an uncompromising verdict. He even returned from somewhere with a gaudily patterned jumper, holding it out and saying, “Kwon I-hyeon, try this on instead.”

 

Finally accepting that their tastes were complete opposites, I-hyeon lowered Seung-hyuk's hand and spoke.

 

“This isn't going to work, Gu Seung-hyuk. Go and choose your own clothes. I'll choose mine. Our tastes are too different.”

 

Seung-hyuk frowned slightly at the firm declaration. After thinking for a moment, he said,

 

“Then let's choose clothes for each other.”

 

“…Do we have to?”

 

“I want to try dressing in the style Kwon I-hyeon likes and seducing him. Why?”

 

Remembering the dazzling shirts Seung-hyuk had been choosing earlier made I-hyeon hesitate. Still, there was a baseball jacket he had spotted that he would like to see Seung-hyuk wear. With his height and broad shoulders, a casual outfit of the sort university students wore might give him an entirely different look.

 

I-hyeon thought about it, then nodded with determination.

 

“All right, then. But neither of us is allowed to say no.”

 

“What on earth are you planning to make me wear that you need to threaten me already?”

 

“Nothing like that. I'll be over there looking. Call me when you've chosen.”

 

I-hyeon headed towards the rack by the entrance to find the dark navy baseball jacket he had been forced to put back earlier after Seung-hyuk rejected it. Unlike the other jackets, which were covered in patches and embroidery, this one had only a little contrasting colour around the pockets and collar. He had liked it from the moment he saw it.

 

He picked out a plain white T-shirt and jeans to go with it. When he returned, Seung-hyuk was standing with his weight on one leg, lifting the hem of a mannequin's clothes. Their eyes met.

 

“Finished already?”

 

“Yeah. Try these on.”

 

“Don't they look a bit like something kids wear?”

 

Despite the remark, Seung-hyuk accepted the hangers readily. I-hyeon watched him hold the clothes against himself in the mirror, looking doubtful, and quietly replied,

 

“I think they'll suit you.”

 

One corner of Seung-hyuk's mouth rose into a grin. He asked the employee behind them where the changing rooms were and shrugged with exaggerated nonchalance.

 

“Well, if Kwon I-hyeon thinks they'll suit me, I suppose I've got to try them on.”

 

He lightly tapped I-hyeon's cheek with a finger and went inside. A short while later, he emerged in the new outfit and stood before I-hyeon, expectant.

 

“I've put on exactly what you told me to. Well?”

 

I-hyeon had always known Seung-hyuk's broad frame and good proportions would make almost anything look good on him. But seeing him dressed precisely to I-hyeon's taste made his ears feel hot. He took a step back from Seung-hyuk, who was standing very close, and was about to look away and answer when the employee beside them nodded enthusiastically and clapped her hands.

 

“Wow, sir. I'm not just saying this, but of everyone who's tried this outfit on, it suits you the best. Let me just straighten it for you.”

 

She spoke warmly and reached towards Seung-hyuk's collar. Before he even realised what he was doing, I-hyeon stepped between them and raised his hand.

 

“I'll…!”

 

“I'll do it.”

 

Only when he saw the employee's bewildered expression did I-hyeon realise what he had done. His face reddened. Seung-hyuk immediately understood why and smiled slyly.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon, are you jealous?”

 

“No, I'm not.”

 

“You stepped in because you didn't want her touching my clothes.”

 

“I said I'm not…”

 

“What do you mean, you're not? Looks like you are.”

 

I-hyeon lowered his eyes at the teasing tone, but Seung-hyuk chuckled and deliberately bent down until their eyes met. He brought his face close to I-hyeon's and whispered,

 

“Keep doing it, though. I like it.”

 

Startled, I-hyeon leaned back and looked around. Fortunately, the employee had turned away for a moment because someone had called her. He punched Seung-hyuk sharply in the firm stomach. Seung-hyuk doubled over in exaggerated pain, giggling.

 

As I-hyeon glared at him, the employee finished what she was doing and spoke again.

 

“I think it looks wonderful on him. What do you think?”

 

Seung-hyuk stood waiting for his answer with one corner of his mouth lifted. I-hyeon felt embarrassed all over again. He glanced over the smart outfit and the face that never failed to impress him. Ignoring his rapidly beating heart, he answered quietly, pretending indifference.

 

“…You look handsome.”

 

“What was that? Say it again. I didn't hear you.”

 

“Then never mind.”

 

Of course Seung-hyuk knew that the reason I-hyeon was acting more brusquely than usual was embarrassment. And that embarrassed expression did more than make him look adorable; it sent an ache through Seung-hyuk's lower body. His faintly flushed cheeks, lowered eyelashes and full lips pressed tightly together—Seung-hyuk involuntarily clenched a fist, momentarily lost for words, then cleared his throat and turned away.

 

“Ahem. I'll just wear this out.”

 

“Certainly, sir. If you give me the clothes you changed out of, I'll pack them for you.”

 

The employee took Seung-hyuk's clothes and left them briefly alone. A peculiar silence settled between them. Neither was naturally reserved around the other, and neither was used to these strangely fluttery moments. Seeing Seung-hyuk looking uncharacteristically embarrassed made I-hyeon's fingertips tingle again.

 

He tucked his lips between his teeth, pretended to examine the hangers in front of him and changed the subject.

 

“So what am I wearing? Have you chosen something?”

 

At I-hyeon's question, Seung-hyuk finally regained his usual composure and nodded towards the far end of a clothes rail.

 

“Your clothes? Oh, I hung them up over there. See?”

 

I-hyeon picked up the hanger at the very front of the rail Seung-hyuk had indicated. It held a matching top and trousers. He stared at the outfit for a long moment. Then, falling silent for an entirely different reason than before, he finally spoke.

 

“You want me to wear this?”

 

“Yeah. You were the one who said we weren't allowed to refuse, remember?”

 

“…I don't think this is right.”

 

Seung-hyuk had chosen a shirt and trousers made of delicate beige lace. With no proper lining, the fabric hung limply and was almost entirely see-through, resembling a tablecloth more than clothing. A floral pattern ran loosely from the shoulders down to the ankles, but there was far more transparent fabric than embroidery. Without anything underneath, wearing it would be scarcely different from being naked.

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk, stop messing about.”

 

I-hyeon stared at him in disbelief. Seung-hyuk, however, said nothing and simply opened the changing-room door, gesturing for him to enter. Realising immediately that arguing would accomplish nothing, I-hyeon sighed and went inside.

 

What was the designer thinking, making clothes like these? Were there really people willing to pay money for them?

 

It would be easier to put the outfit on once than to try to overcome Seung-hyuk's stubbornness. But just as I-hyeon stepped into the changing room, Seung-hyuk's large, solid body slipped through the closing door behind him.

 

“Why are you coming in?”

 

The changing room resembled a little private room, with a small sofa on one side, so it was not cramped. Even so, the sight of two men going into a single changing room would seem odd to anyone who noticed. I-hyeon frowned slightly and asked again. Seung-hyuk tilted his head.

 

“You were going to come outside wearing that, weren't you? I'm not having anyone else see you like that.”

 

“Hah.”

 

Then why hadn't he chosen normal clothes in the first place? The argument was absurd, but I-hyeon refrained from complaining and lifted the hem of his top.

 

The thin, soft lace felt different against his bare skin from any clothes he ordinarily wore. The flowing fabric was not merely soft; it was almost ticklish. Once he had changed, his reflection looked as though someone had draped a lace veil over his naked body. It was ridiculous to feel grateful for the short lining, like a pair of shorts, sewn into the trousers.

 

He laughed helplessly. Seung-hyuk, standing against the wall with his arms folded, gave an appreciative whistle.

 

“There. I've put it on. Happy?”

 

Through the mirror, I-hyeon could see Seung-hyuk's gaze moving slowly from his head to his feet. The scrutiny made him feel strangely self-conscious. He was turning his head to avoid it when the click of a camera shutter sounded.

 

“Hey, what are you doing…?”

 

He reached to block the phone camera, but Seung-hyuk stepped abruptly towards him, intertwined their fingers and lowered his hand. I-hyeon instinctively retreated from the body pressing close, only to flinch when his back touched the cold mirror.

 

“As I thought. I've got a pretty good eye.”

 

Gulp. The sound of I-hyeon swallowing reached both their ears. Seung-hyuk caught a glimpse of the wary expression on his upturned face, which reminded him of the young I-hyeon he had once known. Smiling, he lowered his head a little. Tracing the low-cut neckline with his fingertips, he whispered in I-hyeon's ear,

 

“You look like a present wrapped in gift paper. Bet it'd be fun unwrapping you, too.”

 

“…”

 

“Next time I come home from work, you can greet me wearing this.”

 

The low voice and Seung-hyuk's perfume at such close range made I-hyeon hot all over, despite knowing perfectly well where they were. His body went rigid. Seung-hyuk seemed not to notice and merely grinned mischievously before blowing into his ear. I-hyeon gave a little cry and shoved him in the chest, feeling the vibration of his laughter through his palm.

 

I-hyeon lowered his head and bit his bottom lip. It was fortunate Seung-hyuk had backed away without a fuss. He had come dangerously close to getting an erection in public. He rubbed his face and gripped the fabric to change out of it, but happened to catch sight of the price tag.

 

He frowned sharply in horror.

 

Men's Loose-Fit Lace Shirt — 5,000,000 won

 

Five million won for an outfit he could not possibly wear outside—and that was just the top, not even the entire set. His red lips parted in astonishment. Seung-hyuk saw the price tag I-hyeon was staring at and chuckled.

 

“What's wrong, I-hyeon? Do you like it now you've tried it on? I'm completely in favour.”

 

His tone was openly teasing. I-hyeon's round eyes narrowed, and he gave Seung-hyuk a fierce look before pushing against his broad back.

 

“Get out so I can change.”

 

“Hang on. All right, I won't tease you anymore.”

 

“Get out. Now.”

 

Having finally driven the chuckling man out of the changing room, I-hyeon let out a long sigh and covered his eyes with his palm. Only when Gu Seung-hyuk was gone did his brain seem to work properly again. He reached for the clothes, determined to get out of the absurd five-million-won outfit, when a sudden thought struck him.

 

Gu Seung-hyuk was exactly the sort of man who would take advantage of this moment to buy it anyway.

 

I-hyeon hurriedly opened the changing-room door and poked his head out.

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk, if you buy this outfit, I swear I'll stand in the middle of Gangnam Station wearing it.”

 

“What?”

 

Seung-hyuk's brow furrowed immediately at the not-quite-threat. I-hyeon continued regardless.

 

“I'll go out wearing only this over my bare skin. No coat or anything. I'm not joking.”

 

He fixed Seung-hyuk with a stern stare, then ducked back into the changing room. He carefully but quickly removed the scraps of fabric that cost more than some household appliances. After making sure he had not damaged anything, he opened the door and stepped out.

 

Seung-hyuk was waiting with a crooked, sulky expression. I-hyeon handed the clothes back to the employee, took Seung-hyuk by the arm and pulled him away, whispering,

 

“You didn't pay for it, did you?”

 

“After what you said, how could I possibly buy it?”

 

He sounded faintly disgruntled, as though he really had intended to buy the useless outfit. I-hyeon found him oddly endearing and nearly laughed, but he pressed his lips together and tugged at his arm.

 

“I'll help you with payment.”

 

An employee approached them in the lounge and bowed politely. Seung-hyuk naturally slipped a hand into the inside pocket of his jacket, but I-hyeon produced his own card first and held it out.

 

“Please use this.”

 

“Why are you spending your money when you're with me? Here, use mine.”

 

“No, please use my card.”

 

Seung-hyuk immediately turned towards him, surprised by his uncharacteristic stubbornness. I-hyeon paid no attention to his stare and pressed the card into the employee's hand. After successfully paying with his own card and waiting for her to step away, he added casually,

 

“I wanted to buy it for you. I've got plenty of money, haven't I? Thanks to someone.”

 

Until now, I-hyeon had deliberately avoided even mentioning the many things Seung-hyuk had transferred to him, let alone using them. Perhaps that was why the almost joking remark pleased Seung-hyuk so much. At last his frown relaxed. He gave a soft laugh, intertwined his fingers with I-hyeon's and left the shop with him.

 

They visited a few more boutiques, arguing back and forth until the time of their booked performance forced them to declare a temporary truce, without buying anything else. At least they agreed on one thing: stopping at a café to rest for a while. The moment they spotted a coffee-shop logo, they turned towards it almost in unison.

 

“Americano, right? Hot or iced?”

 

“Hot. I'll come with you.”

 

“No, sit down.”

 

Seung-hyuk steered I-hyeon into a seat by the sofa, set the shopping bag beside him and pressed his shoulder down when he tried to stand again. Then he went to join the end of the queue at the counter.

 

Whenever I-hyeon saw Gu Seung-hyuk fitting so naturally into ordinary daily life, a strange elation swept over him. There were still times when spending each day with him felt unfamiliar. More often, though, simply looking at Seung-hyuk was enough to lift his spirits and make his heart beat faster.

 

And right now Seung-hyuk was dressed exactly as I-hyeon liked. Unlike his usual imposing clothes, which made him seem difficult to approach, he wore something an ordinary man in his late twenties might choose. Somehow it made him look even more handsome.

 

“Hey, look at that bloke. Behind you, by the counter. No, don't turn round so obviously…!”

 

Apparently, I-hyeon was not the only one who thought so. Two young schoolgirls at the next table were giggling as they whispered to each other. I-hyeon pretended to look idly around the café and noticed several other people glancing at Seung-hyuk and murmuring amongst themselves.

 

Of course people would look. He was smartly dressed and exceptionally handsome. But knowing that did nothing to stop it bothering I-hyeon.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon, here. Careful, the cup's hot.”

 

Seung-hyuk returned carrying a tray and slid a cup towards I-hyeon. The slice of cake in the middle was undoubtedly something he had ordered for I-hyeon because he was too thin and needed to eat more. I-hyeon could predict these things without even seeing them now, and was smiling to himself when an unfamiliar woman's voice came from behind them.

 

“Excuse me, sir.”

 

Both I-hyeon and Seung-hyuk looked up at once, apparently embarrassing the uniformed employee. She covered her mouth, cleared her throat briefly, then offered Seung-hyuk a small card.

 

“You forgot your coupon.”

 

Did employees really come all the way out to hand customers coupons they had forgotten? Wouldn't most simply leave it at that?

 

I-hyeon had worked part-time in a café himself, so he found her behaviour especially peculiar. It did not take him long to work out the reason, though. There was a small spark of excitement in the woman's expression as she tucked in her lips, widened her eyes and stole glances at Seung-hyuk. I-hyeon bit lightly at the inside of his cheek, lowered his eyes and unnecessarily adjusted his grip on his coffee cup.

 

“I left it on purpose. Throw it away.”

 

Perhaps the employee had written her phone number on the back. Or perhaps she had hoped the coupon would give her an excuse to speak to him a little longer. Whether Seung-hyuk understood her intentions or not, he merely began peeling the plastic from the side of the slice of cake with an indifferent expression.

 

“Just eat as much as you want.”

 

Seeing him turn his back on her completely to speak to I-hyeon, the employee gave an awkward smile and returned to the counter. The sight brought back memories of I-hyeon's former self, leaving him strangely bitter.

 

If Gu Seung-hyuk had been wearing his usual gangster-like clothes, people probably would not have approached him so easily. Before he could stop himself, I-hyeon had followed that thought to its conclusion. He cut a corner from the cake with his fork and blurted out,

 

“…Gu Seung-hyuk, only dress like that when you're with me.”

 

Seung-hyuk raised his head with a puzzled expression. I-hyeon kept his eyes lowered, poking at the cake's cream with his fork. Seung-hyuk watched him, raised an eyebrow, then glanced between him and the employee who had just retreated. Finally realising what I-hyeon was thinking, he let out a soft laugh.

 

“Ah, I've been treated to some rare sights today. Even got to see Kwon I-hyeon being jealous.”

 

Rather than admitting or denying it, I-hyeon put a piece of cake into his mouth and turned his head away. His faintly reddened ears were even more obvious to Seung-hyuk because of it. Seung-hyuk did not mention them. He merely grinned and pushed the plate of cake closer to him.

 

They sat facing each other, chatting about ordinary things like the time of the performance they had booked and what to eat for dinner. Before long, it was nearly time to leave. Seung-hyuk checked his phone and stood first.

 

“Stay here. I've got to go somewhere for a moment.”

 

“Where?”

 

“There's something I need to collect.”

 

Assuming it was a personal errand, I-hyeon thought little of it. When Seung-hyuk returned a short time later, he stood without asking any further questions.

 

──── 📘📘 ────

 

It had been a long time since they had been able to go out together so leisurely and enjoy a proper date, and I-hyeon was satisfied with everything. The performance had been enjoyable, and the dinner they ate afterwards had been delicious too.

 

The cool evening air was pleasantly refreshing. Sitting in the passenger seat with the window lowered all the way, I-hyeon gazed outside as the wind tousled his hair.

 

“Want a blanket?”

 

Even in the depths of winter, I-hyeon sometimes opened the car window because he felt stifled. At some point, Seung-hyuk had begun keeping a soft blanket on the back seat for precisely that reason. The air was still chilly both day and night, so he asked, but I-hyeon shook his head.

 

“No, I'm not cold.”

 

As he stared idly at the brightly lit shops and the people passing in front of them, the sweet scent of roasted sweet potatoes drifted over from somewhere. The car happened to be stopped at a traffic light, and he soon spotted a street stall selling them.

 

An elderly man sat alone amid the people hurrying past. The sight tugged at I-hyeon's heart, and he casually remarked,

 

“They're still selling roasted sweet potatoes.”

 

“Want some?”

 

He had not been thinking about eating any, but the question suddenly made his mouth water. The scent brushing his nose was deliciously sweet. When I-hyeon gave a small, silent nod, Seung-hyuk turned the steering wheel without hesitation and parked in a nearby side street.

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk, wait here. I'll go and get some.”

 

“Don't bother. We're nearly home. Let's buy some and walk the rest of the way.”

 

“What about the car?”

 

“I'll have someone collect it tomorrow.”

 

I-hyeon was not quite ready to go home either, so he nodded and walked close beside Seung-hyuk.

 

“Excuse me, could we have three roasted sweet potatoes? It's five thousand won, right?”

 

“I've only got five left. I'll throw in the other two for free.”

 

“Oh, no, that's all right. I'll pay you more.”

 

“Ah, I said they're free. I was going to pack up after selling these anyway.”

 

While I-hyeon hesitated over the man's generosity, Seung-hyuk reached out, accepted the paper bag of sweet potatoes and gave the elderly man a nod.

 

“Thank you, sir. We'll enjoy them.”

 

I-hyeon bowed beside him and clutched the bag Seung-hyuk had pressed into his arms. Heat seeped through the paper. As they walked towards the apartment, I-hyeon took out a sweet potato, blew on his fingertips while peeling it and offered it to Seung-hyuk.

 

“I'm all right.”

 

How could he refuse a sweet potato so perfectly yellow and ripe that syrup was practically dripping from it? They had eaten dinner less than an hour ago, but it was a precious winter snack that would soon disappear from the streets. I-hyeon glanced at Seung-hyuk, then took a small bite from the end.

 

“Are you sure you don't want any?”

 

The warm, soft flesh was astonishingly sweet as it dissolved in his mouth. It was even better than he had expected, so he asked once more. Seung-hyuk smiled and tugged at his arm.

 

“You eat plenty.”

 

“I can't eat all five on my own.”

 

I-hyeon scratched his cheek regretfully, not even noticing that Seung-hyuk had naturally moved him to the inside of the pavement, away from the road. As he resumed eating, something suddenly occurred to him. He raised his head to look at Seung-hyuk.

 

“But Gu Seung-hyuk, earlier you—”

 

Before he could finish, Seung-hyuk let out a quiet laugh and sharply turned his head away. I-hyeon blinked, bewildered by the sudden reaction. Still smiling, Seung-hyuk reached towards his face.

 

“If you eat another sweet potato, you'll look like some mutt that's crawled into a furnace.”

 

I-hyeon stared at him blankly for a moment, unable to work out what he meant. Only when Seung-hyuk rubbed his cheek with a thumb did he realise he had got something on his face.

 

“I'll wipe it myself.”

 

“Hold still.”

 

Embarrassed, I-hyeon hurried to turn away, but Seung-hyuk caught his chin with his other hand and leaned closer. I-hyeon knew perfectly well that he was only trying to wipe his cheek, yet he could not understand why his body had gone tense.

 

He lowered his eyes slightly, hoping Seung-hyuk would not notice his nervousness. At that moment, he spotted a little boy looking up at them from directly in front of their feet and took a startled step backwards.

 

“Are you two kissing?”

 

The boy barely reached the middle of their thighs and looked no more than six or seven years old. He sucked on an ice lolly as he stared up at them. Startled, I-hyeon lowered Seung-hyuk's hand. Seung-hyuk frowned down at the child.

 

“Hey, who are you?”

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk…!”

 

It was far too hostile a tone to use with a child. Worried the boy might feel threatened, I-hyeon quickly grabbed Seung-hyuk's arm. Seung-hyuk sighed and frowned.

 

“What?”

 

“What if you scare him and he starts crying?”

 

“What have I done?”

 

“He's only a little boy. You need to speak more gently.”

 

At I-hyeon's reproach, Seung-hyuk looked down at the boy with an irritated expression. He glanced around, then crouched before him.

 

“Hey, kid. Who are you?”

 

“I'm Ji-hoon.”

 

“Where are your parents?”

 

“Why?”

 

“What do you mean, why? I want a look at the people letting a little brat roam the streets alone at this hour.”

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk…”

 

Seung-hyuk noticed I-hyeon's disapproving gaze and the way he lowered his voice. He clicked his tongue briefly.

 

“Kid, give me your parents' phone number.”

 

“It's written on my bracelet, but I washed earlier and came out without putting it back on.”

 

“So what do you expect us to do about that?”

 

“Mum said if I ever got lost, I should ask nearby grown-ups for help.”

 

For a child who had lost his way, he was remarkably clear-headed. Seung-hyuk gave a disbelieving laugh, straightened up and jerked his chin.

 

“Follow me. I'll take you to the police station.”

 

The thought that his date with I-hyeon had been interrupted made it difficult to speak pleasantly. His sharp features and unfriendly voice might have frightened another child, but this boy simply caught Seung-hyuk's sleeve and stared up at him.

 

“But mister, my legs hurt. Could you carry me on your back?”

 

“Hah.”

 

Seung-hyuk almost said that the boy was really pushing his luck. The only reason he managed to keep his mouth shut was I-hyeon, who stood watching him with narrowed eyes. The boy added,

 

“I'll pretend I didn't see you two trying to kiss just now.”

 

“Fuck, what kiss? You're already trying to negotiate, you little brat.”

 

He nearly added, 'And how the hell am I a mister? Have you ever seen a man who looks like this called mister?' But he swallowed the complaint. Losing his temper with a child would make him look ridiculous.

 

With a short sigh, Seung-hyuk rubbed his eyes, turned his back on the boy and crouched down.

 

It would be different if he'd actually been trying to kiss I-hyeon. Then at least he would have something to feel hard done by.

 

“Hey, kid. Hold on properly.”

 

Seung-hyuk effortlessly adjusted the boy on his back and turned towards the nearby police station.

 

“Want a sweet potato?”

 

I-hyeon seemed unable to stop worrying that the lost child might be frightened. He walked a step behind them, watching the boy. When the child nodded, I-hyeon peeled a sweet potato himself and brought it to his mouth.

 

“It's hot. Be careful.”

 

There was no way Seung-hyuk could simply let that pass. Kwon I-hyeon had peeled the sweet potato himself and was even feeding it to the child. Raising one eyebrow, Seung-hyuk supported the boy's thigh with one hand and held the other out towards I-hyeon.

 

“Hey, Kwon I-hyeon. Give him that and come walk beside me.”

 

The possessiveness was unmistakable. I-hyeon looked at him in disbelief, but Seung-hyuk ignored it, threaded their fingers together and pulled him to his side. Seeing that, the boy spoke through a mouthful of sweet potato.

 

“Haneul-hyung said boys aren't supposed to hold hands with boys.”

 

Seung-hyuk felt I-hyeon's hand twitch. He tightened their intertwined fingers so I-hyeon could not pull away and addressed the child.

 

“Don't you hold hands with your dad?”

 

“Dad and me are family.”

 

“Well, he and I are practically family too.”

 

“Are you married?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then how can you be family if you aren't married?”

 

The question caught Seung-hyuk off guard. He frowned and ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek before answering firmly.

 

“People who love each other can hold hands no matter what sex they are.”

 

“Liar.”

 

“Hey, you. Get down.”

 

The argument was getting beyond bickering, and Seung-hyuk looked ready to put the child down then and there. I-hyeon quickly caught his arm to stop him.

 

“Stop it, Gu Seung-hyuk. How old are you, arguing with a little kid?”

 

Seung-hyuk apparently realised how childish he was being and fell silent. Fortunately, the police station was already close. As they walked inside, an older officer who had been leaning against a partition talking to someone turned his head.

 

“Well, well, if it isn't Director Gu.”

 

Recognising Seung-hyuk, he straightened up and smiled curiously. His expression held a mixture of recognition and wariness. Seung-hyuk put the boy down indifferently and brushed off his clothes.

 

“Director? That was ages ago. I quit that work a long time back. Don't you watch the news?”

 

“Of course I do. But it all happened so suddenly, it's hard to believe it's real.”

 

“Whatever. Find this kid's parents. We found him wandering around the street alone.”

 

Only then did the officer pay attention to the boy Seung-hyuk had brought in. He crouched down to the child's level so as not to frighten him and asked a few questions, then took him by the hand and led him to a desk farther inside.

 

“We can go now, right?”

 

“Could you leave your name and contact details here, please?”

 

Seung-hyuk scribbled his details on the paper someone offered, then took I-hyeon's hand. He was heading straight for the door when something seemed to occur to him. He turned his head back towards the boy.

 

“Hey, kid. Make sure you wear your bracelet from now on.”

 

Whether the child made it safely back to his parents was not something Seung-hyuk would ordinarily have concerned himself with. In truth, the only reason he had taken the boy to the police station was that I-hyeon had been there. Under normal circumstances, he would not have spared a glance for a child standing alone in the street.

 

I-hyeon, however, was clearly troubled by leaving the boy at the station. Even as Seung-hyuk led him outside, he kept glancing over his shoulder.

 

“Is it really all right to leave him there on his own?”

 

“The police will find his parents. What are you worried about?”

 

“Still…”

 

“They'd probably be uncomfortable if I sat there waiting with him anyway.”

 

Remembering the older officer calling Seung-hyuk 'Director Gu' with such wariness, I-hyeon thought he was probably right. Seung-hyuk might have left the organisation behind, but the impressions people had formed of him and their unease around him could not disappear overnight.

 

Still, if I-hyeon said he was worried, Seung-hyuk would undoubtedly turn around and wait at the station until the boy's parents arrived. I-hyeon did not want to make him do something he disliked, though, so he quietly held Seung-hyuk's large hand as they walked on.

 

“Finally, some peace and quiet.”

 

Neither of them ordinarily spent much time around children that age. Although they had only been with the boy briefly, the encounter lingered in I-hyeon's thoughts. In particular, the ease with which Seung-hyuk had carried him on his back and the way he had bickered with him, gruff but not entirely unkind, had left a strong impression.

 

“You were good with him.”

 

“Good with him, my arse.”

 

Seung-hyuk gave a soundless little laugh. He had belatedly realised how childish he had been, acting possessively even when I-hyeon was merely helping a lost child. I-hyeon, however, mistook his smile for fondness towards the boy. His expression stiffened slightly, and he pressed his lips together.

 

“Shall we go home, wash up and have a drink? There should still be some of that cheese you liked last time.”

 

“If you don't fancy whisky, we could stop at the convenience store and get some cans of beer.”

 

Seung-hyuk really did seem like someone who could be a good father if he had a child. He looked cold on the outside, but his actions were kinder than his words. He was not the sort of person to throw his authority around with people he cared about. Perhaps he would shower his own child with all the love and attention he had been denied when he was young.

 

That was what troubled I-hyeon. What if he had taken that opportunity away from Seung-hyuk? Surely Seung-hyuk must, at some point, have imagined marrying a woman, having children and building a family. Had choosing I-hyeon meant losing that future for good?

 

“Hey, Kwon I-hyeon.”

 

“Kwon I-hyeon.”

 

He had become so absorbed in those thoughts that he did not even hear Seung-hyuk calling him. He only snapped back to himself when Seung-hyuk stopped in front of the apartment complex's playground.

 

“Oh, sorry. I was thinking about something. What did you say?”

 

“What were you thinking about?”

 

“Nothing. Just… nothing important.”

 

Seung-hyuk had turned his entire body towards him, and from the look on his face, I-hyeon could tell he would not be able to brush it aside. Besides, he knew now that words kept inside could never reach the other person. He had promised himself he would no longer let the other person exhaust himself guessing until misunderstandings grew between them.

 

I-hyeon sighed briefly and looked up at him.

 

“…Have you ever thought about getting married and having a child who looks like you?”

 

“What?”

 

“It's just… seeing you with that boy earlier, I thought you'd make a good father. But if you're with me, having children or an ordinary family like that is bound to become a bit more difficult…”

 

Seung-hyuk frowned as soon as he heard the question. He gently but firmly gripped both of I-hyeon's arms and bent to meet his eyes.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon. Look at me.”

 

I-hyeon reluctantly raised his head and swallowed at Seung-hyuk's resolute gaze. He felt as though he had done something wrong, even though he had not. Seung-hyuk tightened his hold when I-hyeon kept trying to avert his eyes and spoke with unwavering firmness.

 

“I don't know how your thoughts ended up there, but I've never wanted to see some brat who looks like me. If one looked like you, that'd be another matter.”

 

“To begin with, I've never even imagined having the kind of ordinary family you're talking about. How would a bastard who could get stabbed or shot dead at any moment get married and raise a child?”

 

It was self-deprecating, but his tone was dry and devoid of particular emotion. I-hyeon felt a pang of sadness that such thoughts would have seemed natural to someone who had grown up in an abnormal environment and spent his life doing dangerous work. He was about to apologise for raising the subject when Seung-hyuk continued.

 

“For me, being able to do legitimate work without getting blood on my hands, and having an ordinary date with you like this, is already a miracle. Without you, I'd have kept acting like a dog for Gu Jin-hyuk and Chairman Gu until they decided I wasn't useful anymore and threw me away.”

 

“…Gu Seung-hyuk.”

 

“So don't you dare start thinking you've kept me from an ordinary life or pushed me away from normal happiness. My life was never ordinary in the first place.”

 

Seung-hyuk held I-hyeon's gaze with his eyebrows slightly drawn, almost as though warning him never to entertain such pointless worries again.

 

“And Kwon I-hyeon, you should worry about being the one who ends the Kwon family line.”

 

The slightly sulky remark finally eased I-hyeon's expression. He freed his arms from Seung-hyuk's hands, interlaced their fingers and gave a faint smile.

 

“I don't care. My family isn't important enough for me to worry about that. Besides, my parents would probably think it was better for the family line to end than to have a child like me.”

 

He had deliberately spoken lightly to lift the heavy atmosphere. But as soon as Seung-hyuk heard the words, his expression hardened again.

 

“Even by ordinary standards, I'm not much of anything,” I-hyeon went on. “Other people my age have decent jobs, but I still haven't even finished university. I don't have impressive qualifications or certificates, and it's not as though I'm particularly good at anything.”

 

He was only stating what he considered the objective facts, yet Seung-hyuk's face looked anything but pleased. Frowning with unmistakable irritation, he sighed and rubbed at his eyes.

 

“…Ah, I-hyeon. And all the money in your bank account is just there for decoration, is it?”

 

“I gave you that so you wouldn't have to stress about things like this and could do whatever you wanted. Why do you keep pretending it doesn't exist? Fuck, do I need to set up a company for you?”

 

Seung-hyuk had already been unhappy about I-hyeon continuing to look for part-time work without touching the money in his account. He knew that I-hyeon did not truly consider the assets in his own name to be his. I-hyeon had known it too, which was why he had deliberately paid for Seung-hyuk's clothes at the department store. Apparently, that had not been enough.

 

“What does that make me when you talk about yourself that way? Some bastard risking his life for a person who isn't worth much?”

 

“You know that's not what I mean.”

 

“Kwon I-hyeon. Every time you say something that shows how little you value yourself, I want to kill every single person who made you that way.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Even now. Sometimes you talk as though being with you means I'm losing out. It makes me so fucking angry I can barely stand it, especially when you don't even realise who's really getting the better deal.”

 

His sharp eyes, knitted brows and rigid jaw showed how hard he was working to suppress his frustration and anger. Perhaps he had been holding it back ever since I-hyeon mentioned children and an ordinary family. Seung-hyuk rubbed a palm over his slightly contorted face, sighed briefly, then gathered himself and spoke more calmly.

 

“I-hyeon, there's something you've got wrong. Do you think I'm somehow qualified to be with you?”

 

“A bastard who's gone around beating people, killing people and doing every filthy thing imaginable—do you honestly think someone like that deserves to be with a decent person like you, who earned his own food and took responsibility for his own life from childhood?”

 

“But I don't give a shit about any of that. If anyone tells me I have no right to be with you, I'll bury the bastard. I certainly won't leave your side.”

 

“…”

 

“I've already told you who I have to thank for the fact that I'm living a decent life now.”

 

Seung-hyuk placed both hands on I-hyeon's shoulders and brought his face close. His dark eyes fixed solely on I-hyeon. Without the slightest uncertainty, he continued,

 

“You're my god. My religion and my truth. You're the master of my whole world. Understand?”

 

“…”

 

“And that world is a lot more remarkable than you think. So try taking a bit of pride in being its master. You can afford to feel superior now and then.”

 

“Understand? If you do, nod.”

 

As though trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere, Seung-hyuk relaxed his expression and caught I-hyeon's cheeks in one hand. I-hyeon's lips parted like a fish's as he blinked, and Seung-hyuk moved his face up and down for him in a nod. Only then did Seung-hyuk smile faintly and step back.

 

He reached into the inside pocket of his coat.

 

“Fuck, this wasn't where or how I intended to give you this.”

 

What he brought out was a ring box, slightly smaller than the palm of his hand. Startled by the unexpected turn of events, I-hyeon looked up at him. Seung-hyuk rolled his tongue against the inside of his cheek and opened the case.

 

“Give me your hand.”

 

Inside lay a neat pair of rings decorated with several layers of embossed black and silver patterns. Seung-hyuk took out the smaller one and lifted I-hyeon's left hand.

 

“Wear this everywhere you go from now on. I was already fucking sick of people showing an interest in you because they didn't know you had a boyfriend. Like at the café earlier.”

 

“…The café?”

 

“You didn't notice that employee at the department store using a coupon as an excuse to keep glancing at you, did you? I should've given you a ring in the first place instead of a watch. I got that wrong.”

 

From what I-hyeon had seen, the employee had clearly been looking at Seung-hyuk, but perhaps it had seemed different from his perspective. Seung-hyuk pushed the ring all the way onto I-hyeon's left ring finger. At last looking satisfied, he stroked the finger.

 

“And once you're back at university, young, fearless little bastards are going to start hitting on you. They need to see you have a boyfriend, or I'll end up going to your campus and causing some unpleasant incident.”

 

I-hyeon rarely wore accessories, so the slight pressure around his finger felt unfamiliar. He ran his tongue along his lower lip to conceal the odd fluttering in his chest and looked down at his hand.

 

The watch Seung-hyuk had fastened around his wrist last winter and the ring he had received today both gleamed with a weighty lustre. They seemed rather elaborate for someone who usually dressed so simply, but he suspected that had been Seung-hyuk's intention.

 

And imagining the thick ring making its presence felt on Seung-hyuk's own ring finger filled him with a strange satisfaction too. Even so, there was one thing he could not help regretting.

 

“I wanted to be the one who bought the rings.”

 

He had been beaten to it.

 

I-hyeon took the other ring from the case and slipped it onto Seung-hyuk's finger as he murmured the words. He really had been saving money to give Seung-hyuk matching rings on an anniversary, so the lost opportunity was disappointing. But Seung-hyuk merely snorted softly and leaned closer.

 

“A present? Forget it. You just keep accepting things from me.”

 

“If it bothers you that much, give me a kiss.”

 

Seung-hyuk tapped his lips with an index finger, one corner of his mouth rising into a crooked smile. No matter how often I-hyeon saw him, he was impossibly attractive. Ordinarily, I-hyeon would have used being outdoors as an excuse to press his lips together and pretend not to hear. This time, though, he found it difficult to restrain himself.

 

He glanced around to make sure nobody was nearby, then quickly pressed his lips to Seung-hyuk's and drew back.

 

Smack.

 

The light kissing sound seemed louder than ever. Seung-hyuk looked unusually startled, apparently having never expected I-hyeon to actually kiss him. Then his gaze changed in an instant. Catching I-hyeon's hand, he began striding towards the apartment building.

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk, wait, hey, why are you suddenly—!”

 

I-hyeon could feel the solid presence of the ring between their tightly joined fingers. Seung-hyuk adjusted his grip on I-hyeon's hand and spoke in a low, warning voice.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon, unless you want me to do something to you right here, move those legs faster.”

 

The sincerity of the threat made I-hyeon burst out laughing. Chuckling, he gripped Seung-hyuk's hand tightly and quickened his steps without answering. After all, he wanted to get upstairs to the privacy of their home just as much as Seung-hyuk did.

──── 📘📘 ────

 

“Ah, Kwon I-hyeon, sorry. Have you been waiting long? That lunatic Team Leader Kim spent the entire meeting kicking up a fuss over something that wasn't even important. Everyone's faces were visibly turning sourer by the minute, and he was the only one who didn't notice. Bloody hell.”

 

Eun-ho came straight to I-hyeon's table, set down the coffee he had collected and ran an irritated hand through his hair. I-hyeon watched him quietly before holding out the shopping bag he had brought.

 

“It's fine. I haven't been here long myself. Here, this is what you asked me to collect.”

 

“Thank you so much. The shop kept calling me to come pick it up, but with all this overtime, how was I supposed to get there before they closed? And it's a surprise present, so I couldn't exactly ask him to collect it himself.”

 

Eun-ho peered into the bag, checked its contents and leaned back against the sofa with a satisfied smile.

 

“Once things calm down for your big brother here, I'll treat you properly. Keep some time free.”

 

“By the time that's finished, you'll be busy again with the new academic year, won't you? Don't worry about it.”

 

“Hah… You're right. It's nearly March already. Why does one event after another keep coming? I'm dying here.”

 

His complaints about being busy were evidently not exaggerated; his face looked thinner and sharper than when I-hyeon had last seen him. Watching Eun-ho collapse face-first onto the table in despair, I-hyeon merely smiled. Suddenly, Eun-ho raised his head.

 

“Come to think of it, you've registered for this semester, haven't you?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“We'll have even less chance to see each other. University students seem much busier these days.”

 

“It should be a little easier for me. I haven't got many compulsory modules left. If I arrange my timetable properly, I'll only have to go in three days a week.”

 

“Ah, I'm jealous. I'd give anything to work only three days a week. Hey, Kwon I-hyeon, make sure you have plenty of fun while you're at university. I seriously regret not enjoying myself more back then.”

 

Having witnessed exactly how Eun-ho spent his university days, I-hyeon could only snort at that. Eun-ho immediately bristled, as though he had been caught out.

 

“Why? What? I still graduated with an above-average mark, you know! I could've managed that even without Cha Do-hyeon's help!”

 

“I didn't say anything.”

 

“Bloody hell, you said it with your face!”

 

Eun-ho was approaching thirty, yet he remained as easy to read as he had been when they were younger. The familiarity was comforting. A faint smile spread across I-hyeon's face. Seeing it made Eun-ho too embarrassed to continue protesting, and he sank back into the sofa and took a long drink of coffee.

 

“That's a ring I haven't seen before. Matching couple's rings?”

 

Eun-ho was crunching a piece of ice between his teeth when he noticed the ring on I-hyeon's hand and asked without much thought. I-hyeon glanced at the ring, which he had grown used to over the past few days, and nodded.

 

“People usually wear that design as a wedding band, but you've got it as a couple's ring. Bloody hell, that's several months' wages. Being rich really is the best.”

 

He seemed to have completely forgotten that the ring on his own hand had cost more than six million won. I-hyeon still vividly remembered his reaction several years earlier when his boyfriend gave him a luxury diamond-set couple's ring: he had declared that the man must be out of his mind and had no concept of money.

 

Rather than remind him, I-hyeon turned his own ring around and said,

 

“I'm the older one, so I wanted to buy him a ring, at least.”

 

“You're only a year older, aren't you? What's the difference? Whoever has more money buys it.”

 

“Even so. I feel a bit uncomfortable always being the one receiving things.”

 

There were the assets transferred into his name, not to mention all the little gifts Seung-hyuk brought home whenever the mood struck him. Gu Seung-hyuk behaved as though he could never quite satisfy his urge to give I-hyeon one more thing.

 

At first, I-hyeon had found it overwhelming and refused a few times, but Seung-hyuk merely came back with even bigger presents, almost as if challenging him. In the end, I-hyeon had half resigned himself to accepting whatever Seung-hyuk gave him.

 

But each time, he felt uneasy about not giving as much in return. If he bought something Seung-hyuk could genuinely use, it would feel as though he were showing off with Seung-hyuk's money. Anything he could buy within his own means felt embarrassingly modest as a gift.

 

“I'd like to surprise him with something too.”

 

His expression did not change, but Eun-ho immediately noticed how slightly dejected I-hyeon had become. He watched I-hyeon lower his eyelashes and fidget with his fingers. After a moment's thought, Eun-ho gave a decisive answer.

 

“Then why don't you plan some kind of special event?”

 

“…An event?”

 

“Valentine's Day is nearly here. Perfect timing. Make some chocolates, get flowers and candles, decorate the place and set the mood. You know the sort of thing.”

 

Eun-ho's suggestion conjured up the romantic scenes commonly seen in films and on television, but I-hyeon was not particularly drawn to it. He simply could not picture Seung-hyuk enjoying such a traditional, predictable romantic gesture. He was more likely to appreciate I-hyeon dressing up in some sort of costume.

 

…A costume?

 

I-hyeon closed and opened his eyes as various indecent outfits flashed through his mind. It was equally clichéd, but there was a reason clichés endured: they worked. And he could not imagine Gu Seung-hyuk disliking any of them.

 

“Hey, Eun-ho, do you happen to…?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Never mind. Forget it.”

 

He had started to ask in case Eun-ho had useful advice, but quickly shook his head. No matter how close they were, he did not want to hear about the most intimate details of his friend's relationship. Instead, he decided to look online when he got home and brought his coffee cup to his lips.

 

He felt as though his face was getting hot, although he had not done anything yet.

 

The two talked about this and that for a while longer. When it was time for Eun-ho to return to work, they gathered their things. After promising to make time for a meal together soon, I-hyeon said goodbye and boarded a bus that had just pulled into the stop.

 

The first thing he did on returning home was open his laptop. After confirming that Seung-hyuk would not be back for quite a while, he typed 'surprise for boyfriend' into the search box.

 

A variety of sites appeared, accompanied by all sorts of garish advertisements. I-hyeon clicked on the shop whose description looked the most restrained.

 

[Special Surprise Outfits Just for Your Boyfriend]

 

Despite the tidy-looking home page, the moment he completed the age verification, a riotously colourful sales page appeared. The moving product photographs were so distracting that he frowned more from irritation than embarrassment. He quickly scrolled down.

 

Maid outfits, cheongsams, bunny-girl costumes, Santa costumes…

 

The shop seemed to have collected every outfit that could possibly be sexualised. The idea of standing before Gu Seung-hyuk in any one of them made his courage and enthusiasm drain away. He sighed, rubbed his eyes and moved the mouse again. Then one product photograph caught his attention.

 

[Sexy Lace Thong for Men]

 

It was a black scrap of fabric smaller than his palm, suspended between thin straps. Even the central panel, barely large enough to cover his penis and testicles, was made from mesh lace. The material was practically transparent, making the underwear all but pointless.

 

Yet when he remembered how pleased Seung-hyuk had been to see him wearing lace at the department store, it seemed difficult to imagine a better choice.

 

I-hyeon lowered his head for a moment at the product photographs, which somehow looked even more obscene than simple nudity. Then he checked the time, steeled himself and clicked the purchase button. Beneath the product name, bold red lettering promised same-day dispatch for orders placed before four in the afternoon.

 

Taking every precaution against Seung-hyuk receiving the parcel and opening it first, I-hyeon selected an unattended parcel locker as the delivery address. Then he checked the calendar.

 

12 February.

 

He quickly began organising in his head everything else he needed to prepare within the next two days.

 

──── 📘📘 ────

“Your iced Americano is ready, customer A-32.”

 

The part-time employee's piercing call reached I-hyeon's ears. If he had really been concentrating on reading as he appeared to be, it would have passed as nothing more than background noise. Instead, the book in his hands had been open to the same page for over ten minutes.

 

“…Hoo.”

 

He wanted to behave normally, as though nothing were out of the ordinary. The trouble was that he could not remember what expression he usually wore. He was chewing anxiously at the inside of his innocent cheek and glaring at the words on the page when a pleasantly deep voice came from in front of him.

 

“What brings you here? I thought you hated coming near my office.”

 

I-hyeon looked up to see Seung-hyuk pulling out a chair and sitting down. He slowly closed his book before answering.

 

“Nothing special. I was bored at home. Did you leave work early because of me?”

 

“There wasn't anything urgent. And why should I wait until closing time when you're here for me? It's the whole reason I started my own company.”

 

“Can you really do whatever you like?”

 

“I've told you. The staff like it better when I'm not there.”

 

“You're a proper delinquent of a boss.”

 

“Can't change my true nature.”

 

Seung-hyuk shrugged with a mischievous smile. He looked happier than usual, evidently delighted that I-hyeon had come to meet him. Early in their relationship, I-hyeon had visited Seung-hyuk's company a few times, but after encountering the curious stares of the employees, he had avoided the area whenever possible. He could understand why Seung-hyuk was so pleased to see him now.

 

“Since you're here, let's have dinner. Or shall we see a film?”

 

Seung-hyuk casually took the coffee from in front of I-hyeon and drank some. He checked his watch as he spoke, apparently without even realising that today was Valentine's Day. I-hyeon considered that fortunate and made an effort to sound casual.

 

“I've booked a restaurant. Let's go there.”

 

The two of them were more accustomed to deciding what to do on the spur of the moment than planning a date in advance. Seung-hyuk looked briefly surprised, but then nodded readily and cleared their tray.

 

“Where are we going? Put it in the satnav.”

 

Seung-hyuk started the car and spoke in his usual dry tone. I-hyeon entered the destination, and a mechanical voice announced that safe driving guidance was beginning. As they left the underground car park, Seung-hyuk glanced at the satnav. When he read the destination at the bottom of the screen, his eyebrows rose slightly in surprise.

 

“A hotel?”

 

“Apparently the restaurant on the rooftop is good.”

 

I-hyeon had expected a teasing remark as soon as he mentioned a hotel restaurant, but Seung-hyuk merely nodded. His lack of reaction made I-hyeon even more nervous, and he leaned back against the seat.

 

──── 📘📘 ────

 

The hotel's lift had a glass front, offering a panoramic view of the city at night. The clusters of lights decorating the darkness were wonderfully romantic. Seung-hyuk draped an arm over I-hyeon's shoulders, pulled him close and whispered,

 

“Shall we stay here tonight after dinner?”

 

A suite had actually been booked, but instead of telling him that, I-hyeon jabbed Seung-hyuk in the side with his elbow. As soon as the lift doors opened, he darted out as though he had been waiting for the chance.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon, wait for me.”

 

Seung-hyuk, chuckling and bending over, called after him before following at a leisurely pace.

 

At the restaurant entrance, a smartly uniformed employee greeted them with a polite bow. When asked for the reservation name, I-hyeon gave Eun-ho's. Soon another employee appeared and led them to a table by the window at the back.

 

“Yeo Eun-ho?”

 

Seung-hyuk's low voice came the instant the waiter left them. I-hyeon looked over and found him tilting his head to one side.

 

“They were fully booked, so I got a little help. Eun-ho knows the head chef here.”

 

“Is that why you met him the other day?”

 

“No. That was something else. He'd asked me to do him a favour.”

 

I-hyeon had expected Seung-hyuk to accept the explanation and move on, but he looked displeased. It was both funny and embarrassing that he should be so wary of Yeo Eun-ho of all people. I-hyeon pressed his lips together.

 

“Would you like to meet him properly sometime? The three of us?”

 

Perhaps Seung-hyuk already knew plenty about Eun-ho. In fact, he had probably investigated him thoroughly even before contacting him at the hospital. But introducing the two formally was another matter, and I-hyeon felt slightly nervous despite being the one to suggest it.

 

Seung-hyuk's answer was indifferent.

 

“No need. Just don't see him too often.”

 

I-hyeon thought that perhaps, given the opportunity, he should show Seung-hyuk a photograph of Eun-ho with his boyfriend. If he explained how thoroughly that couple had annoyed him since high school, Seung-hyuk might realise there was no reason to be wary.

 

“Let me explain tonight's set menu.”

 

Before long, a waiter approached and explained the courses listed on the menu, then served the first appetiser with wine. I-hyeon shifted awkwardly on his chair, feeling the thin thong strap pressing into the cleft between his buttocks. He reached for his wineglass to hide his face, which was growing increasingly difficult to keep composed.

 

Each time a new dish arrived and his glass was refilled, he drank the wine almost as hastily as if it were water. Seung-hyuk chatted with him about everyday things, occasionally smiling at the way I-hyeon fidgeted nervously. Finally, he set down his napkin.

 

“All right, tell me.”

 

They were nearing the end of the meal. I-hyeon's spoon stopped prodding at the dessert before him, and he raised his head.

 

“There must be a reason you got your friend to help bring me somewhere like this. What is it? Have you planned a proposal or something?”

 

If it had only been a proposal, I-hyeon could probably have managed it calmly. He struggled to keep his face expressionless as he replied,

 

“Nothing like that. It's Valentine's Day, so I just thought we'd have dinner somewhere nice.”

 

Seung-hyuk's brows drew together slightly at the words 'Valentine's Day'. Only then seeming to realise the date, he checked his watch and rubbed at an eyebrow.

 

“Fuck. I thought you weren't interested in anniversaries or anything like that. Wait here. I'll go out for a minute.”

 

“No, no. I don't usually bother with these things either. I haven't prepared anything special. Just stay here.”

 

Despite I-hyeon's protests, Seung-hyuk was plainly bothered. I-hyeon held out his left hand.

 

“Besides, you gave me this ring only recently. How could anything be bigger than that?”

 

Seung-hyuk finally relaxed when he saw the ring shining on I-hyeon's left ring finger. He lightly squeezed I-hyeon's hand with his own ringed left hand before releasing it.

 

“When's the next anniversary? I'll book this entire place for us then, so let me off just this once.”

 

“Honestly, don't worry about it. I really don't care about anniversaries. This is the first time I've celebrated one at all.”

 

I-hyeon rushed the words out because Seung-hyuk looked ready to make some grand arrangement immediately. Yet he suddenly felt embarrassed by what he had said, and his voice trailed off as he looked away. Seung-hyuk stared at him.

 

“The first time? What about those bastards you used to see?”

 

“None of them were relationships like that. We just contacted each other when we needed something.”

 

Of all the men who had passed through I-hyeon's life, a few had suggested an actual relationship. But those had been years when he had neither the reason nor the room in his life to date anyone. Whenever someone's feelings seemed to deepen even a little, he had hurried to cut them off and distance himself. So matching rings and celebrating special occasions like this were all firsts for him.

 

“…That's all I meant. If you've finished eating, let's go.”

 

The sudden quiet made him feel awkward. Thinking he should not have brought it up, he was just about to stand when Seung-hyuk gently caught his wrist.

 

“It's my first time too, Kwon I-hyeon.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Having this kind of sweet, embarrassing relationship with someone. It's my first time too.”

 

I-hyeon gazed at him, caught off guard by the unexpected confession. Seung-hyuk, who stood without meeting his eyes, seemed a little embarrassed himself.

 

We've both come such a long way.

 

I-hyeon kept the thought to himself, rubbed at his warm ear and started walking.

 

The awkward silence continued as they waited for the lift after paying the bill. Seung-hyuk pressed the button and looked up at the floor indicator. I-hyeon edged closer and caught the sleeve of his jacket.

 

“Shall we have another drink at the bar downstairs?”

 

Before long, they would go up to the hotel room and I-hyeon would have to show him the underwear he had put on. A few glasses of wine over dinner had not given him enough courage. He looked up at Seung-hyuk and gently scratched his palm with an index finger.

 

“You really came prepared today, didn't you?”

 

Seung-hyuk chuckled at I-hyeon's unusually forward behaviour. He caught the tickling finger and intertwined their hands, then pressed the button for the floor with the bar instead of the car park.

 

Pleasant jazz music played in the background as they entered. Perhaps because it was Valentine's Day, the bar was fairly busy despite the relatively early hour. Seung-hyuk handed the waiter a banknote and requested a secluded table, out of most people's sight.

 

“…What are you planning to do in a corner?”

 

“Exactly what you're thinking.”

 

I-hyeon's mind was full of the present and surprise he had prepared, but Seung-hyuk's implication was obvious. I-hyeon narrowed his eyes, gave him a reproachful glance and perched awkwardly on the chair the waiter showed them.

 

“More wine? Or a cocktail?”

 

“No… Whisky.”

 

“Whisky?”

 

“Yeah. Neat.”

 

I-hyeon was not particularly bad at drinking, but he did not often choose strong spirits either. Seung-hyuk looked surprised.

 

“Aren't you pushing yourself? You were drinking the wine pretty quickly earlier.”

 

I-hyeon needed a little more help from alcohol if he was going to be shameless later. He did not intend to get properly drunk, but he hoped to loosen up a little, so he shook his head.

 

Soon the waiter returned and set a platter of snacks and a bottle of whisky on their table. The moment they lightly clinked glasses, I-hyeon hurriedly brought the drink to his lips. While Seung-hyuk slowly drank a glass of whisky poured over ice, I-hyeon knocked back three neat measures in quick succession.

 

At last he felt pleasantly light-headed, and some of his nervousness began to ease. He reached into the bag he had brought and placed something before Seung-hyuk.

 

“What's this?”

 

Seung-hyuk had been watching him with folded arms for some time, noticing that I-hyeon seemed distracted and unable to concentrate on their conversation. Now he looked down at a small box bearing a luxury brand's logo and a box of chocolates wrapped in a red ribbon. A quiet laugh escaped him.

 

“Were you so restless because you were trying to find the right moment to give me these? You said you hadn't prepared much.”

 

“…It's nothing special. I saw a nice tie pin and some cufflinks at the department store. You've been wearing suits a lot because of work lately.”

 

“Yeah. They're nice. I'll wear them every day.”

 

“I tried making the chocolates myself, but it didn't work, so I bought some. If they're too sweet, you can give them to the people at work.”

 

“Why would I give them away? That'd be a waste.”

 

Seung-hyuk's smile deepened at the sight of I-hyeon awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. He untied the wide red ribbon, opened the chocolate box and popped a small round chocolate into his mouth.

 

“They're good. Want a taste?”

 

I-hyeon nodded and obediently opened his mouth. Instead of picking up another chocolate, however, Seung-hyuk turned towards him, cupped the back of his head in one broad hand and pulled him closer. Before I-hyeon could move away, Seung-hyuk's face was right in front of his.

 

“Mmph…”

 

Their lips met, and Seung-hyuk's thick tongue slipped into his mouth. The taste of sweet, rich chocolate spread as their tongues rubbed together. Even though they were tucked into a corner where few people would see, kissing so deeply in public made I-hyeon self-conscious. He gently pushed at Seung-hyuk's chest and drew back. Their eyes met across the small space between them, both gazes hot.

 

“Let's stay the night. I've had a drink, so I can't drive.”

 

Seung-hyuk's shamelessness was as though the idea of calling a driver had been erased from his mind. I-hyeon let out a small laugh before he could stop himself. Lowering his eyes, he gently brushed Seung-hyuk's lips with his thumb.

 

“I can't show you the last present here.”

 

“…”

 

“I've booked a room. Want to go upstairs and see?”

 

The moment Seung-hyuk heard the whispered offer, he caught I-hyeon's wrist and sprang to his feet. He gathered the presents, paid quickly and jabbed the lift button with considerable force. His grip on I-hyeon's hand was tight.

 

“Which floor?”

 

“Seventeenth.”

 

Seung-hyuk practically snatched the key card I-hyeon took from his pocket. He stared up at the lift indicator, clenching his jaw so hard that the muscles rose and fell beneath the skin. Watching him made heat spread through I-hyeon too. It felt as though the alcohol he had drunk so quickly was suddenly hitting him all at once.

 

As soon as the lift doors opened on the room's floor, Seung-hyuk pulled him out and strode down the corridor. When they finally stopped before the door, Seung-hyuk swiped the key card and looked down at I-hyeon with his hand on the handle.

 

“There aren't candles and balloons and all that shit behind this door, are there? If there are, tell me now. I can't think about anything like that at the moment.”

 

I-hyeon shook his head. The door opened, and Seung-hyuk hauled him inside. Before I-hyeon even heard it close, his back met the wall beside the entrance and his chin was tipped upwards.

 

Their lips crashed together, mingling hot breaths.

 

“Mmm…”

 

The kiss was not merely quick but almost impatient. When I-hyeon made a low sound in his throat, Seung-hyuk raised a hand to hold his face more firmly in place. Their tongues tangled so insistently that wet sounds filled I-hyeon's ears. His breathing grew faster and faster.

 

“Haa, hah… Gu Seung-hyuk, just a little… Slower!”

 

Every time I-hyeon tried to turn his head away, Seung-hyuk leaned in closer, leaving him no choice but to squirm and push against his chest. When their lips finally parted, I-hyeon managed to whisper the plea. Seung-hyuk slipped his arms beneath his thighs and lifted him in one motion. Suddenly suspended in the air, I-hyeon wrapped his legs around Seung-hyuk's waist.

 

Seung-hyuk tipped his head back to kiss him again as he slowly began walking. On the way farther into the suite, he shrugged off his suit jacket and threw it aside. At last he reached the bed, pushed I-hyeon down onto it and slipped a hand beneath his clothes as naturally as breathing.

 

They had slept together countless times since moving in together, so the progression was familiar. But perhaps because I-hyeon had prepared something special for today, heat rose through him even faster than usual. Seung-hyuk removed his top in one movement and scattered kisses over the exposed skin. His tie hung down as he bent, brushing smoothly across I-hyeon's stomach.

 

I-hyeon lifted his hips a little and said,

 

“Take my trousers off too.”

 

Seung-hyuk lowered the hand that had been caressing I-hyeon's chest. He undid the trouser fastening and pulled down the zip with practised movements, then hesitated. The waistband of I-hyeon's usual briefs was nowhere to be seen.

 

Realisation flashed across Seung-hyuk's face. He seized the trousers and pulled them down at once, revealing the black lace thong beneath.

 

“Oh, fucking hell…”

 

I-hyeon had prepared it himself and even drunk alcohol to steel his nerves, yet seeing Seung-hyuk unable to tear his eyes from his lower body was mortifying. His neck and face turned red. He bit his lower lip fiercely and jerked his head aside.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon, you had dinner and drinks with me dressed like this?”

 

Seung-hyuk slowly rubbed his thumb over the tiny piece of lace. The black scrap of fabric, scarcely a handspan wide, barely covered the cock that had been hard for some time. He stroked the upper portion, dampened slightly with pre-cum, then looked at his finger and exhaled with obvious excitement.

 

“Fuck, if you'd prepared something like this, you should've told me earlier. We've wasted hours.”

 

He immediately lowered his head and ran his tongue up the smooth lace in one long stroke. I-hyeon covered his face with both arms at the moan that escaped him.

 

“Ngh…!”

 

He had thought Seung-hyuk would like it, but this seemed to be more than he had anticipated. Seung-hyuk continued caressing him with his tongue through the lace, using one hand to spread I-hyeon's thighs. The long fingers of his other hand began following the thong's thin strap between his buttocks.

 

As the strap rubbed against his entrance, I-hyeon involuntarily tightened there. His rigid cock twitched and leaked more clear fluid. Seung-hyuk immediately licked it up through the fabric.

 

“Hah, Gu Seung-hyuk, wait, wait…!”

 

There was only one extra layer of thin, soft cloth between his hard cock and Seung-hyuk's hot tongue, yet the sensation was unfamiliar. When I-hyeon hurried to lift his upper body, Seung-hyuk pressed down on his stomach with a hand. His upturned eyes were blazing.

 

“Come once.”

 

The wet lace rubbed against the head of his painfully erect cock, bringing a strange rush of pleasure. Overwhelmed, I-hyeon shook his head and tried to push Seung-hyuk away by the hair. Instead, Seung-hyuk continued stroking the tip with his tongue while gripping the shaft and pumping it. I-hyeon scarcely had time to try to hold back before his back arched sharply.

 

“Haaah…!”

 

Seung-hyuk slowly stroked the lace, now damp with I-hyeon's pre-cum and semen, and murmured,

 

“All wet.”

 

He licked his lower lip and stood, heading towards the table. A moment later he returned carrying the red ribbon that had tied the box of chocolates. He told I-hyeon, who was watching him with ragged breaths, to raise both arms. Then he began winding the ribbon around his narrow wrists.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“Wh-what are you doing?”

 

“You said you were a present. I ought to wrap you properly.”

 

Seung-hyuk checked the ribbon: it was snug, but not painfully tight. Kneeling, he looked down at I-hyeon. I-hyeon lay panting in nothing but the lace thong, while Seung-hyuk was still fully dressed apart from his suit jacket, his appearance otherwise perfectly neat.

 

Seung-hyuk removed his metal wristwatch and set it aside. Rolling up his shirt sleeves, he smiled.

 

“Shall we have a little more fun, then?”

 

He gently rubbed the tip of I-hyeon's cock with his thumb. It had softened slightly after his orgasm. A sharp, completely unfamiliar sensation shot up I-hyeon's spine, and a high moan escaped him.

 

“Ah, wait, this… This feels strange…!”

 

“Do you know something, I-hyeon? They say rubbing the head of a cock with wet gauze makes it incredibly sensitive.”

 

“Hah, ahh, ngh…”

 

“I've been wondering what it'd feel like to try that on you. How did you even think of wearing something like this?”

 

After only a few strokes, blood was already returning to I-hyeon's cock. The only difference from before was that his body was even more sensitive immediately after coming. Every nerve seemed concentrated below his waist. Each time Seung-hyuk rubbed the head with his thumb, his entire body trembled.

 

“Ngh, ah, hah, wait, aah…!”

 

His hands were bound, so he could not lift himself. Even when he stretched out his arms, he could not reach Seung-hyuk. All he could do was shift his hips and twist his upper body from side to side. The more he squirmed, however, the more relentless Seung-hyuk's movements became. The stimulation was so intense that it began to feel painful rather than pleasurable.

 

“Ahh, Seung-hyuk, Gu Seung-hyuk, ngh…”

 

I-hyeon gasped his name as though he could barely breathe. Seung-hyuk continued rubbing the head through the wet lace. Holding down one of I-hyeon's thighs, he watched his near-tearful expression with a gaze more intent than ever.

 

“Haa, ngh, ah, aah…!”

 

The lace was softer than ordinary cloth, yet the feeling was almost as though sharp needles were pricking the head of his cock. Whenever Seung-hyuk pressed his thumb against the slit, I-hyeon's body jerked violently. He wanted to climax again, but the overwhelming stimulation left him unable to gather any strength. Moans tinged with tears escaped him under the relentless pleasure.

 

“Hah, haa… I don't… like this. Ngh…!”

 

“Try to bear it just a little longer.”

 

Seung-hyuk stared hungrily at I-hyeon, whose whole body had reddened and was trembling. Still rubbing the lace around the head of his cock, he used his other hand to spread I-hyeon's buttocks and gently touch his entrance. Each stroke against his cock made the opening twitch and gape. Two fingers that had been circling it abruptly slipped inside.

 

“Ahh…!”

 

The instant those firm fingers brushed his prostate, I-hyeon threw back his head and came again. The tight pressure of I-hyeon's entrance clenching around his fingers sent Seung-hyuk's own excitement soaring. He immediately undid his belt and freed his cock, which had long since become fully erect. Rather than removing the thong, he pulled its strap aside and drove straight into the exposed opening.

 

“Hah…! Gu Seung—ngh, wait!”

 

“Hoo…”

 

“Aah, I… just… ngh!”

 

His body had barely recovered from the stimulation of his orgasm when he was penetrated from behind. I-hyeon gasped helplessly. Seung-hyuk had only inserted himself and had not yet begun moving, but I-hyeon was already rubbing the back of his head against the sheets, squeezing his eyes shut and moaning.

 

Feeling the hot inner walls around his cock, Seung-hyuk breathed out deeply and ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. Seeing I-hyeon respond even more strongly than usual after a little stimulation through lace stirred something twisted in him.

 

“Haa, ngh…”

 

Watching I-hyeon struggle to steady his breathing, Seung-hyuk raised a hand to his tie. He had heard somewhere that covering someone's eyes could heighten their other senses. He slowly loosened the tie, laid it across I-hyeon's eyes and secured it with a firm knot.

 

Immediately, he felt the opening around his cock twitch and contract. Seung-hyuk caught I-hyeon by the waist and thrust upwards.

 

“Ahh!”

 

I-hyeon's wrists were bound with a red ribbon, his eyes covered by a tie, and he lay beneath Seung-hyuk wearing nothing but a black lace thong. It was a more indecent sight than anything Seung-hyuk had ever seen. Each time excitement made him drive his hips hard, I-hyeon gasped and tightened around him.

 

“Hoo… haa…”

 

“Haa, ngh, haa…!”

 

The unusually tight grip of I-hyeon's body made Seung-hyuk's head spin repeatedly. After a few more thrusts, his cock pushed deep enough to reach the slightly resistant inner wall. Ordinarily he did not penetrate quite so deeply, but he too was fiercely aroused, and his self-control was slipping.

 

“Haa… fuck…”

 

He gripped I-hyeon's hips and thrust into the deeper part of his passage several times. Almost immediately, a high moan burst from I-hyeon and his whole body shook. His muscles tightened, clenching around Seung-hyuk's cock, yet his own cock remained fully erect. It seemed he had reached orgasm without ejaculating.

 

Seung-hyuk knew that thrusting harder in this state would feel even better. But I-hyeon would collapse early, just as he always did. Gritting his teeth, he slowed the pace of his hips a little. At least tonight, he had no intention of letting I-hyeon go early.

 

I-hyeon's body continued trembling as though still caught in the aftermath. Seung-hyuk bent forward to kiss him soothingly, but I-hyeon did not respond, merely breathing hard.

 

What was wrong?

 

“Ngh… haa…”

 

Only then did Seung-hyuk realise that something was wrong. He hurriedly pulled the tie away from I-hyeon's eyes and looked at his face. His round eyes were squeezed tightly shut, and the skin around them was wet.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon.”

 

Alarmed, Seung-hyuk immediately withdrew his cock and cupped I-hyeon's face, turning it towards him. He quickly untied I-hyeon's wrists as well, then held both his cheeks and repeatedly wiped the tears from around his eyes.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon, what's wrong? I-hyeon.”

 

“Haa, ah… No, it's… It's not that…”

 

“Fuck, I'm sorry. I was wrong. Did I hurt you badly?”

 

“Ngh, no… It didn't hurt, but… I couldn't see anything when you covered my eyes, and my hands were tied… It suddenly reminded me of back then. Haa… It's not that I was in pain, or that I was afraid of you. Normally I don't even think about it. I thought I'd forgotten it, but suddenly…”

 

I-hyeon was unusually incoherent, his chest heaving, as startled by the reaction as Seung-hyuk. Having his hands restrained and then unexpectedly losing his sight had apparently brought back what happened in the lounge building.

 

The realisation that I-hyeon was suffering trauma he would never have experienced if Seung-hyuk had not dragged him into that business devastated Seung-hyuk. But at this moment, he had no right to show his own distress. He deliberately softened his expression, pulled I-hyeon's still-rigid shoulders into an embrace and kissed his temple and the side of his head.

 

“All right. I understand. You don't have to explain any more.”

 

“Haa… haa…”

 

“Do you want some water? I'll get you some.”

 

Before I-hyeon could answer, Seung-hyuk took a bottle of water from the bedside table and brought it to his lips. After a few sips of lukewarm water, I-hyeon's breathing began to slow and the tension left his body. Seung-hyuk examined his face closely before asking,

 

“Feeling a little better?”

 

“…Yeah.”

 

I-hyeon lowered his head and quickly rubbed his cheeks and eyes with the back of his hand. The room was so quiet that the sound of his skin being rubbed was clearly audible.

 

Once his fear subsided, other feelings began to wash over him. He was embarrassed, but more than that, he felt sorry for frightening Seung-hyuk. I-hyeon cautiously rested his fingers on the back of Seung-hyuk's hand and spoke slowly.

 

“Sorry. For startling you.”

 

“Usually I don't even remember what happened back then, so I thought I'd forgotten it completely. I suppose I hadn't.”

 

I-hyeon knew Seung-hyuk already carried guilt over what had happened to him, which made him feel even sorrier that this had occurred. But Seung-hyuk recognised what he was thinking and replied firmly,

 

“Don't apologise. You've got nothing to be sorry for.”

 

He knew he needed to relax his expression somehow and reassure I-hyeon, but his body would not cooperate. In the end, Seung-hyuk hid his rigid mouth behind the water bottle, drained the water I-hyeon had left in one go and stood up from the bed. He turned away, straightening his trousers.

 

“Lie down for a little longer. I'll run you a bath.”

 

“…Huh?”

 

“You can sleep if you're tired. I'll clean you up once you're asleep.”

 

I-hyeon was taken aback that Seung-hyuk intended to stop everything so abruptly, even if he had cried a little from fright. As Seung-hyuk turned towards the bathroom without a moment's hesitation, I-hyeon instinctively caught his arm. Seung-hyuk looked back with concern.

 

“Why? Would you rather just have a shower?”

 

“No, it's not that…”

 

I-hyeon glanced at the prominent bulge still showing through the front of Seung-hyuk's trousers before continuing.

 

“You haven't come yet.”

 

Unlike I-hyeon, who had reached climax several times in quick succession, Seung-hyuk had not ejaculated once. The mood had been broken suddenly, but I-hyeon thought that could be remedied easily enough by touching each other again. He had calmed down now, and even felt confident he could have his eyes covered again without becoming frightened.

 

“You think that's what matters right now?”

 

Seung-hyuk apparently saw it differently. He gripped I-hyeon's hand, clenched and released his jaw, then gently pressed his shoulders and kissed his forehead.

 

“Don't worry about it. I'll take care of myself.”

 

“…”

 

“Lie down. I'll call you when it's ready.”

 

Firmly but without hurting him, Seung-hyuk removed I-hyeon's hand from his arm. He bent his head for a brief kiss on I-hyeon's lips, then drew back. I-hyeon could not see his face clearly, but his back looked strangely rigid as he walked directly towards the bathroom.

 

Suddenly left alone on the bed, I-hyeon stared at the closed bathroom door with tangled feelings. He wondered what Seung-hyuk was thinking in the bathroom, where he could hear no running water.

 

From that day onwards, Seung-hyuk began avoiding sex with him.

 

“Haa… Not here… Let's go to the bedroom.”

 

“Hah. Fuck…”

 

“Come on… Please?”

 

“Just a minute. I need to pop into the office. I left something there.”

 

“Now? All of a sudden?”

 

“I might be late. If you're tired, go to sleep first.”

 

“Haa, hah…”

 

“Hoo, wait, Kwon I-hyeon. I-hyeon.”

 

“Haa… Why?”

 

“I've got a video conference in a bit. I have to attend.”

 

“At eleven at night?”

 

“…The other person is overseas. There's a time difference.”

 

“But you can't speak English.”

 

“…Anyway, don't wait for me. Go to sleep first.”

 

“Kwon I-hyeon, what are you doing with my clothes…?”

 

“Mmm, haa, Gu… Seung-hyuk, haa…”

 

“Hah, fuck…”

 

Bang.

 

At first, I-hyeon thought it was merely a coincidence. But after the same thing happened several times, his patience slowly began to run out. For weeks, every time their physical intimacy threatened to deepen, Seung-hyuk had found some unconvincing excuse and slipped away. I-hyeon could not help feeling upset.

 

At some point, Seung-hyuk even seemed to be avoiding spending time with him at home. As though to prove it, he left for a week-long business trip to the United States. Previously, he would have left the work to his staff and stayed with I-hyeon, but this time was different. I-hyeon found it difficult to shake the suspicion that Seung-hyuk was deliberately going away to put some distance between them.

 

Ultimately, it was all because of what had happened that night. For I-hyeon, it had been nothing more than a small mishap during sex, but Seung-hyuk appeared to have been deeply shaken by it. I-hyeon stared at the ceiling before rolling onto his side to face the empty space beside him.

 

They had not been living together or sharing a bed for very long, yet he had already become so accustomed to Seung-hyuk's presence that the empty space felt lonely. Horang, who was now free to enter the bedroom because Seung-hyuk was not there to stop him, sat nearby grooming himself. But the cat could not fill Seung-hyuk's absence.

 

I-hyeon blinked slowly, deciding that when Seung-hyuk came back, they would have to have a serious conversation. It was almost time for him to call.

 

Yet sleepiness steadily descended, making his eyelids heavier and heavier. He was dozing on and off, almost asleep, when the phone clutched in his hand began to vibrate. A small beep sounded and the video-call screen lit up. It must have been early morning where Seung-hyuk was, and he was apparently still at his hotel, wearing a dressing gown with wet hair.

 

“Were you sleeping?”

 

“No, not yet…”

 

“You look as though you're about to.”

 

“I'm not…”

 

That was what he said, but he could hardly keep his eyes open. Fighting to stay awake, I-hyeon spoke again.

 

“Sleep well? It's morning there, right? You've got a meeting with an investment company today, haven't you?”

 

“Yeah. After that I'll check the filming location and come back.”

 

“The photo shoot for that actor you signed recently?”

 

“It's on a private beach, so there shouldn't be any problems, but Director Cheon keeps making a fuss about me at least showing my face.”

 

Seung-hyuk's even voice seemed to come from somewhere far away, as though there were a layer between them. I-hyeon nodded, his eyes already half closed, and murmured slowly,

 

“You're working hard… More than I expected. Company work seems to suit you.”

 

“When you dig into it, it's not that different from what I did at Taeseong. This industry's hardly clean either.”

 

“Still… It's safer than what you did before… At least that's true.”

 

“That's true. Sleepy?”

 

“A little…”

 

He no longer had the presence of mind to pretend otherwise. Seung-hyuk laughed softly at the honest reply, leaned towards the screen and spoke calmly.

 

“Go to sleep. I'll call again around your lunchtime.”

 

“Let's talk a bit longer.”

 

“Stop being stubborn and close your eyes, all right?”

 

“…Mm.”

 

I-hyeon mumbled an answer, but fell asleep before he could finish speaking. Seung-hyuk, watching from his chair, let out a disbelieving chuckle and leaned back against the sofa.

 

Because I-hyeon had fallen asleep holding his phone, his sleeping face remained visible on the darkened screen. His long lashes, slightly parted lips and quiet, steady breathing made blood rush almost instantly to Seung-hyuk's cock.

 

“Hah.”

 

It was absurd that merely seeing I-hyeon's sleeping face had made him this hard, yet Seung-hyuk pushed aside his dressing gown and gripped his cock. Just imagining I-hyeon's warm, yielding body and the distinctive softness of his skin was enough to draw pre-cum from the tip.

 

“Haa… Hah…”

 

Instead of tipping his head back and imagining I-hyeon the way he usually did when masturbating, he stared intently at the peacefully sleeping face on the phone. He wanted to abandon his schedule entirely, book the next flight and return to Korea immediately. Knowing just how sweet I-hyeon's sleeping breath was only made the longing worse.

 

“Hah, fuck, Kwon I-hyeon… Haa, I-hyeon…”

 

Perhaps because it had been so long since he could look at I-hyeon's face to his heart's content, his orgasm approached more quickly than usual. Clenching his teeth, Seung-hyuk stroked his cock so hard that it made a sharp slapping sound. Imagining holding I-hyeon by the back of the head and making him suck his cock, he brushed the sensitive skin beneath the ridge of the head. His neck muscles stood out as semen suddenly spurted from him.

 

“Hoo…”

 

Seung-hyuk sank into the sofa and breathed slowly, savouring the aftermath. The tablet propped on the table still displayed I-hyeon's sleeping face. Looking at the cloudy semen trickling down the screen over that face, Seung-hyuk clenched his jaw, suppressing a thirst that now felt even worse, as though he had swallowed seawater.

 

──── 📘📘 ────

 

Time passed slowly while Seung-hyuk was in America. A weekend that would ordinarily have been spent tangled up with him was more uneventful than ever.

 

I-hyeon sat on the sofa with his knees drawn up, idly pressing the buttons on the television remote. He scrolled through the thumbnails of programmes on a streaming service, trying to find something worth watching, but eventually pressed Exit. Nothing interested him.

 

“…I'm bored.”

 

He lay down sideways and stretched out the arm holding the remote. His finger kept clicking aimlessly through the channels until he noticed some words in the upper-left corner of one programme.

 

[Understanding Trauma]

 

“Today we've invited psychiatrist Dr Kim to talk about how individuals can overcome trauma. Before we finish, we'd like to ask the doctor for one last piece of advice.”

 

It was a typical weekend-morning health-information programme on terrestrial television. Several people sat on a conventional studio set in front of an audience. When the presenter finished speaking, the camera moved to a young woman who appeared to be the doctor.

 

“Trauma is a wound that anyone can suffer. Many people deliberately avoid situations that might remind them of what happened. But the more you avoid those memories, the more your fear can grow. One way to work through trauma is to gradually find the courage to face the situation in an environment where you feel safe. It may be difficult at first, but with repetition, your mind can begin to recognise that some of those situations are no longer dangerous. As you move forward a little at a time, you may eventually find that what once terrified you is no longer so frightening.”

 

Lying on his side, watching the screen at a ninety-degree angle, I-hyeon remembered his own experience as he listened. Merely thinking about what had happened with Gu Jin-hyuk did not make his body seize up or fill him with fear severe enough to disrupt his everyday life. But the events had certainly left a powerful impression. And because they had caused what happened the other night, it was something he ought to address properly at least once.

 

Face the situation directly…

 

He suddenly remembered the adult-products website he had joined when buying the lace thong. Its categories had contained all sorts of things. Perhaps he could find something there that would help.

 

As the doctor on television had said, making an effort was necessary if he wanted to confront the bad memories head-on and take another step forwards. And it would not be only for his own sake.

 

After a moment's thought, I-hyeon exhaled deeply, got up and went to his laptop. He did not hesitate at all as he opened the website he had visited before.

 

──── 📘📘 ────

 

The things I-hyeon ordered arrived at his door just two days later, living up to the site's promise of lightning-fast delivery. It happened to be the day Seung-hyuk was scheduled to return to Korea.

 

After checking the box hidden beneath the bed one more time, I-hyeon sat on the sofa and looked at the clock. Eleven twenty. Seung-hyuk had said he would arrive around half past eleven after leaving the airport, so there were about ten minutes left.

 

“Hoo…”

 

Ordinarily, he would already have gone to sleep, but perhaps because he was anticipating something important, he felt wide awake. He wondered how Seung-hyuk would react to seeing him and to the things he had prepared. Quite apart from that, he felt excited at the prospect of seeing his face again after a week apart.

 

“A registered vehicle has entered the car park.”

 

Before long, the announcement sounded to indicate that Seung-hyuk's car had entered the underground car park. I-hyeon sprang up and went to the entrance. The hem of Seung-hyuk's oversized white shirt brushed against his bare legs. Then he felt something warm and soft near his ankles.

 

“Horang, have you come too?”

 

Smiling faintly, I-hyeon picked up the cat rubbing his head against his leg and held him in his arms. A moment later came the beeping of the keypad, followed by the front door opening. Seung-hyuk came inside with his eyes lowered, then immediately raised his head when he noticed the open inner door and the white feet standing in front of it.

 

“Welcome home.”

 

I-hyeon gently waved Horang's paws towards him and smiled. Seung-hyuk's gaze travelled from I-hyeon's bare legs to the white shirt and finally settled on his smiling face. His prominent Adam's apple moved sharply. Then he strode towards I-hyeon and bent his head, kissing him before either of them could say another word.

 

“Mmph…”

 

Seung-hyuk cupped his soft cheeks and held his face firmly in place, kissing him hungrily. Horang sprang out of I-hyeon's arms and landed on the floor. I-hyeon had not expected Seung-hyuk to react like this immediately, but he soon wrapped his arms around his neck and tangled their tongues together.

 

Merely smelling Seung-hyuk's perfume seemed to make his lower abdomen grow hot, like Pavlov's dog responding to a bell. The feeling appeared mutual. He could feel Seung-hyuk's hard cock pressing against his stomach.

 

“Haa, haa…”

 

When their lips briefly parted, I-hyeon gasped for breath and met Seung-hyuk's eyes. Seung-hyuk kept their foreheads together, gritted his teeth as though suppressing something, and finally took a step back.

 

“I'm home.”

 

“…”

 

“What's with the outfit? A welcome-home present?”

 

“Something like that.”

 

Seung-hyuk chuckled. With a broad grin, he scattered light kisses across I-hyeon's forehead, eyes, cheeks and lips.

 

“I'm never going on another long business trip. I thought I'd die from missing Kwon I-hyeon.”

 

Ordinarily, he would have pulled down I-hyeon's underwear long before bothering with such sweet gestures. Now, however, he seemed determined not to let the mood develop into anything more intimate and withdrew almost casually. Taking off his coat, he headed straight towards the bathroom.

 

“It's nearly midnight already. I'll have a shower, so go to sleep first.”

 

The reaction fell short of I-hyeon's expectations, but he had no intention of giving up. Determined to speak properly with Seung-hyuk tonight, he climbed onto the bed.

 

Water ran from the shower for a while, and then Seung-hyuk emerged, shaking his wet hair. He noticed I-hyeon sitting against the headboard with only the bedside lamp lit, looking at his phone.

 

“You're still awake?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“The man who's usually fast asleep at eleven on the dot is pushing himself tonight.”

 

Seung-hyuk smiled as he fastened the buttons of his pyjama top and climbed onto the bed. He caught I-hyeon's face and kissed him.

 

“Mm… mmm…”

 

The scent of body wash mingled with Seung-hyuk's own smell, and the touch of his firm hands felt wonderful after so long apart. So did the hot tongue filling and stroking every corner of his mouth. Even Seung-hyuk's saliva tasted sweet, and heat began to spread through I-hyeon's body.

 

While kissing him, I-hyeon slowly rose and straddled Seung-hyuk's thighs. Large hands gently stroked his legs as they naturally spread to either side. When their tongues finally parted for a moment, I-hyeon caught his breath and rested his forehead against Seung-hyuk's.

 

Seung-hyuk's hand came down over the cock already hard inside I-hyeon's underwear.

 

“What have you been doing to get like this?”

 

“It's because I haven't been doing anything.”

 

“…”

 

“You've made me go without for weeks.”

 

Seung-hyuk burst out laughing at I-hyeon's strangely sulky complaint. Hooking a finger into the waistband of his briefs, he pulled them down and lay back.

 

“Come up here. I'll suck you.”

 

I-hyeon had always been swept along by Seung-hyuk's advances, so it felt unfamiliar to be the one climbing on top of him. Yet the unfamiliarity was strangely exciting, sending a tingling ache through his lower abdomen. Moving on his knees, he looked down as Seung-hyuk rubbed the bridge of his nose against I-hyeon's cock. I-hyeon swallowed.

 

“Hold your shirt in your mouth.”

 

Seung-hyuk lifted the hem of the white shirt and pushed it between I-hyeon's lips. Then he opened his mouth and took the erect cock inside. The feeling of hot, wet flesh closing around the shaft was as overwhelming as ever.

 

After sleeping with I-hyeon so often, Seung-hyuk had become quite practised at giving oral sex. He raised his head and took I-hyeon's cock deep into his mouth, all the way to the base, before tightening his mouth and drawing back. When his hard teeth lightly grazed the shaft, a pained-sounding moan escaped I-hyeon's lips.

 

“Haa, ngh…”

 

That sound seemed to ignite something in Seung-hyuk. He curled his thick tongue around the underside of the shaft, hollowed his cheeks and began moving his head. Wet sounds rang out, unmistakably obscene.

 

I-hyeon threw his head back and gripped the headboard tightly. Without something to support himself, he felt certain his legs would give way and he would collapse. Seung-hyuk raised his eyes to watch I-hyeon's aroused expression, working his mouth insistently as his head moved back and forth.

 

“Ah, ngh…”

 

By now Seung-hyuk knew exactly where and how to suck to make I-hyeon lose control. His climax approached quickly. His lower abdomen tightened until the ache became almost painful, and he bit down on the shirt between his lips. Experience told him that if Seung-hyuk continued just a little longer, he would reach the point where he could not hold back.

 

I-hyeon hurriedly spat out the shirt, pressed both hands against Seung-hyuk's forehead and gasped,

 

“S-stop, I… ngh, I'm going to come.”

 

Seung-hyuk merely gripped I-hyeon's buttocks with both hands, holding him in place so he could not pull his hips away. Squeezing the soft flesh hard enough to hurt a little, he began moving his head even faster. Pleasure shot sharply up I-hyeon's spine, making his breathing quicken and his toes stretch. At the limit of what he could bear, his vision blurred white.

 

“Ngh, Gu… Seung-hyuk, haa…!”

 

I-hyeon gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to suppress his orgasm. Then his breath burst out and his body stiffened. Semen surged from him and pooled on Seung-hyuk's tongue. Seung-hyuk gently stroked his taut thighs, withdrew the cock from his mouth and swallowed. He smiled with satisfaction and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

 

“That's thick. Guess you didn't get yourself off while I was away.”

 

Looking down at that handsome face between his thighs and those red lips glistening with fluid, I-hyeon felt his entrance twitch even though nothing had touched it. It was almost as if his body knew and anticipated what should come next.

 

But Seung-hyuk slowly sat up, took the water from the bedside table and rinsed his mouth. Then he picked up I-hyeon's discarded underwear and began wiping his cock clean with the soft cotton.

 

“Lie down. I'll get you some fresh underwear.”

 

“What?”

 

At the suggestion that Seung-hyuk intended to stop there again, I-hyeon’s brows immediately drew together. The moment Seung-hyuk tried to get off the bed, I-hyeon reached out without thinking.

 

Pushed back down by the shoulder, Seung-hyuk looked up at him in bewilderment.

 

“Aren’t we doing any more?”

 

The question was brief, but its meaning was unmistakable. Seung-hyuk glanced away. Biting hard on the inside of his cheek, he struggled to sound casual as he sat up again.

 

“Next time.”

 

But I-hyeon caught his wrist before he could stand. He shot Seung-hyuk a sharp look that was more than dissatisfied; he seemed almost angry. Keeping his voice under control, I-hyeon said,

 

“How long are you going to keep doing this? Are you never going to have sex with me again?”

 

His expression was serious. It was clear he had no intention of backing down without an explanation he could accept. Realising he would not be able to brush this aside, Seung-hyuk swallowed a sigh. He sat on the bed again, dragged a hand over his forehead and eyes, and answered calmly.

 

“…Because I don’t trust myself to be gentle. I’m afraid I’ll make you cry again.”

 

“That was just because I suddenly got frightened at that time. You don’t have to be gentle. Since when have you worried about that? I’m not that fragile.”

 

Seung-hyuk could hear in his protests that I-hyeon had been holding this in for some time. Making another clumsy excuse, as he had been doing until now, would only make him angrier. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers against them. After a silence, he spoke.

 

“What if I end up hating myself?”

 

“Do you really think I’d hate you over something like that?”

 

“Not you. Me.”

 

“…”

 

“What if I hate myself so much I want to kill the person I used to be?”

 

I-hyeon, who had thought he could argue against anything Seung-hyuk said, faltered. There was such profound helplessness in his low voice. Seung-hyuk stared at nothing, clenching and unclenching his jaw before continuing quietly.

 

“I’ve been thinking. Our first time was at the lounge too. When you’d been drugged and I raped you.”

 

“…I’ve never thought of it as rape. I was the one begging you to help me.”

 

“Fucking someone who’s out of his mind until he passes out is generally called rape.”

 

The answer was so coldly decisive that I-hyeon could only part his lips. He felt he ought to say something, but he could not think of any words that might pull Seung-hyuk out of his regret and self-loathing.

 

“That was… something neither of us could help, wasn’t it?”

 

“There’s no such thing as an unavoidable excuse for rape.”

 

“…”

 

Seung-hyuk gave a short sigh, rubbed a hand down his face and leaned forwards.

 

I-hyeon took his hand, troubled by the expression on his face. Seung-hyuk’s gaze briefly met his before dropping away. He stroked I-hyeon’s fingers and murmured,

 

“I’m afraid the wounds I left will keep making you unhappy.”

 

“…”

 

“I never want to see you cry because of something I did again, Kwon I-hyeon.”

 

Oddly, hearing such a vulnerable voice from him seemed to calm I-hyeon’s mind. It was painful to realise that their shared past had left them with different kinds of trauma, but also, in some way, a relief. Sharing the wounds meant they could work towards overcoming them together. And when everything had healed, they would be left with scars of the same shape.

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk.”

 

At the quiet call of his name, Seung-hyuk lifted his tense face.

 

“I saw something on television today. It said the first step towards overcoming trauma is confronting bad memories in a safe environment.”

 

“And right now, here beside you, I feel safer and more comfortable than I ever have.”

 

“…Kwon I-hyeon.”

 

“I still don’t believe everything that happened was your fault. But if you believe it was…”

 

As I-hyeon spoke, Seung-hyuk never once looked away from his eyes. I-hyeon held his gaze just as steadily. Tightening his grip on Seung-hyuk’s hand, he continued without a trace of hesitation.

 

“Then take responsibility for me to the very end. Until new memories have piled up over the bad ones. Until I’ve completely overcome the trauma.”

 

“…”

 

“Love me with everything you’ve got.”

 

Seung-hyuk’s Adam’s apple moved slowly. His expression was tightly restrained as he clenched and released his jaw, as though struggling to contain something.

 

“Do I… even deserve to do that?”

 

Looking into the solemn face before him, I-hyeon smiled gently. He answered with greater certainty than he had ever felt.

 

“Yes.”

 

“You do deserve it.”

 

The moment the words left his mouth, Seung-hyuk tilted his head and caught I-hyeon’s lips. His tongue swept over the sensitive places inside his mouth, and when I-hyeon responded as naturally as ever, the kiss deepened.

 

The large palm cupping his cheek slowly travelled past his jaw to the side of his neck. I-hyeon gave Seung-hyuk’s shoulder a gentle push, breaking the kiss.

 

“What?”

 

The husky voice and faintly furrowed brow were enough to send heat through I-hyeon’s body. But he had something prepared. Collecting himself, he reached beneath the bed for the box he had hidden there and set it in front of Seung-hyuk.

 

“What’s this?”

 

“Open it.”

 

Seung-hyuk lifted the lid with a slightly impatient movement. When he saw what was inside, he froze, then immediately looked at I-hyeon’s face.

 

“What is all this?”

 

“Confronting bad memories in a safe environment.”

 

“What?”

 

“Those are the things that were around me that day at the lounge.”

 

Unlike Seung-hyuk, whose expression hardened at the explanation, I-hyeon looked perfectly calm. His fingers moved without hesitation over a leather whip, nipple clamps and a wooden paddle. When they reached a large silicone dildo, Seung-hyuk seized his wrist with a disbelieving laugh.

 

“I-hyeon, why the hell would I put something like that inside you?”

 

He picked up the dildo and threw it well away from them, making I-hyeon laugh softly too. At the sound, Seung-hyuk’s expression eased.

 

“There’s plenty here that looks interesting, but we can take our time looking at the rest later.”

 

He rummaged carelessly through the box, then lifted something out.

 

“Just these today.”

 

In his hand was a pair of black leather handcuffs, lined with fur on the inside. Seung-hyuk unlocked them with the attached key and turned to I-hyeon.

 

“Give me your arm.”

 

I-hyeon obediently offered his right arm. Seung-hyuk fastened one cuff around his wrist, adjusting it so it would not hurt. I-hyeon naturally extended his other arm, but Seung-hyuk secured the second cuff around his own left wrist instead.

 

Surprised, I-hyeon looked up at him. Seung-hyuk’s mouth curved into a grin.

 

“I thought I’d try getting over some bad memories too.”

 

“Look after me, all right?” he added playfully. Threading their fingers together, he leaned in to kiss I-hyeon again.

 

He caught I-hyeon’s lower lip between his teeth, then sucked gently, firmly enough to draw a response without hurting him. His tongue slipped expertly between their parted lips. I-hyeon tightened their intertwined fingers and grasped Seung-hyuk’s forearm as the other man eased him back onto the mattress.

 

“Mmm…”

 

Every sensation of Seung-hyuk’s tongue moving through his mouth felt almost unbearably distinct. Even the gentle hand stroking the bare skin near his waist sent heat gathering in his stomach. With a short breath, I-hyeon slipped his free arm around Seung-hyuk’s neck. Seung-hyuk tightened his waist, pressing their bodies close together.

 

“Stick out your tongue.”

 

I-hyeon obediently opened his mouth. The instant he extended his tongue, Seung-hyuk entwined it with his own and began rubbing them together. Each brush of the rough surface made warm breaths escape him, mingled with moans he could not suppress. Seung-hyuk held his jaw and kissed him without leaving the slightest gap, as though intent on swallowing even those breaths.

 

“Haa… breathe… ah…”

 

Short of breath after the unbroken kiss, I-hyeon drew his head back a little. Seung-hyuk followed, placing light kisses wherever his lips could reach. His mouth brushed I-hyeon’s temples, eyelids, cheeks and chin with a gentleness unlike anything before.

 

“Hah…”

 

From the strength of his grip and the hardness pressed against him, Seung-hyuk seemed as aroused as usual—perhaps more so. Yet his movements were strangely slow.

 

Ordinarily, he would already have turned I-hyeon over however he pleased, biting and sucking and doing all sorts of things to him. Instead, he appeared to be holding himself back. With their fingers still laced together, he merely scattered soft kisses across I-hyeon’s skin. It was tantalising.

 

Unhappy with that, I-hyeon raised himself slightly and whispered into Seung-hyuk’s ear.

 

“There’s something else I didn’t tell you earlier. I don’t dislike it when you’re rough during sex.”

 

It was barely more than a whisper, but Seung-hyuk clearly heard it. His jaw tightened. I-hyeon added, as though driving the point home,

 

“So you don’t have to hold back.”

 

“Hah.”

 

Seung-hyuk let out a breathless, incredulous laugh. He pulled away and rose onto his knees above I-hyeon, tipping his head back with a crooked smile.

 

“You’re determined to drive me mad, aren’t you?”

 

Running his tongue along the inside of his cheek, Seung-hyuk slowly lowered his gaze to I-hyeon. The easy confidence of a man accustomed to being in command and his undisguised desire existed together, impossibly, on the same face.

 

──── 📘📘 ────

 

After they had rolled about together several more times, I-hyeon finally came to his senses and discovered that dawn was already breaking beyond the window.

 

Seung-hyuk approached the bed and offered him a glass of water. I-hyeon lay sprawled across the mattress, his body covered in red marks. He could not even lift a hand, and when he merely stared at the glass, Seung-hyuk brought it to his lips and tipped it gently for him.

 

Once I-hyeon had drunk, Seung-hyuk slipped beneath the duvet again and pulled him into his arms.

 

“I can’t do any more…”

 

His voice was faint and hoarse from hours of moaning and crying out. Seung-hyuk chuckled, pressed a kiss to his forehead and drew back.

 

“All right. I’ll let you sleep.”

 

Warm body heat, the soothing sound of quiet breathing, and the bluish light of the hour just before dawn filled the room. In that peaceful space, I-hyeon’s eyes closed of their own accord. He wanted to surrender to the sleep threatening to overwhelm him at any moment, yet he also wanted to savour the peace a little longer.

 

“…Gu Seung-hyuk.”

 

“Mm?”

 

I-hyeon murmured in a voice thick with sleep. Half his mind had already slipped into unconsciousness. Breathing softly, he began saying whatever came into his head, without any particular order.

 

“I read somewhere… that plants have something called winter buds. Flowers don’t suddenly bloom in spring. They make the buds before winter comes, and then wait… The flowers and leaves and everything are already inside them…”

 

It was an abrupt subject, but Seung-hyuk did not point that out. Instead, he tightened his arms around I-hyeon’s shoulders and held him closer. With his eyes still shut, I-hyeon continued so softly that his words were barely audible. After a pause, his voice grew even fainter.

 

“So… maybe winter isn’t just a cold, barren season after all… Even when everything looks as though it’s stopped… they’re actually all getting ready for spring, quietly waiting for the right time…”

 

“And us too… our winter’s over… now it’s… spring…”

 

Seung-hyuk smiled silently at the half-asleep man, who seemed not to know what he was saying. I-hyeon’s stumbling whispers eventually ceased, replaced by the gentle sound of his sleeping breaths.

 

Looking down to make sure I-hyeon had fallen completely asleep, Seung-hyuk held him close and gazed towards the brightening sky beyond the window. The morning sun was certainly rising earlier than it had a few days before.

 

“…”

 

The red sun slowly emerged, driving away the blue of the early morning. As the sky lightened, the darkness lingering in the bedroom faded. Seung-hyuk watched the long night give way to morning, watched the beginning of another day that would carry them one step further from winter. He pressed his lips to I-hyeon’s smooth forehead and murmured,

 

“…You’re right, I-hyeon.”

 

It seemed that the long winter had finally ended, and spring had come.

 

~ Winter Season — End of Side Story ~