Winter season volume 1

Minor Snow: The Day the First Snow Falls (1)

“A packet of Esse, please.”

 

The part-timer behind the counter handed over the cigarettes. I-hyeon checked the packet and inserted his card into the reader. Almost immediately, his phone vibrated. Assuming it was a payment notification, he glanced down without much thought. An address had appeared on the screen. 52, Gawon-ro 27-gil, fourth floor.

 

What’s this?

 

It was an unfamiliar number. Had someone sent it to the wrong person? Just as he was about to put his phone away, it vibrated again. Eight p.m. Be on time. Seung-hyuk’s face suddenly came to mind. Now that he thought about it, he had found it strange that there had been no contact since the day he went to borrow the money.

 

Rather than replying to ask who it was, I-hyeon left the convenience store and lit a cigarette in the alley. His gaze remained as quiet and composed as ever as he looked at the message. Was Seung-hyuk finally planning to begin the job he had mentioned? He was probably calling him over to explain the details. I-hyeon had no idea what he would say, but he had a vague feeling it wouldn’t be anything legal.

 

What did he mean by obtaining information? Could I-hyeon really do what Gu Seung-hyuk wanted? No. Even if he couldn’t, he would have to find a way. He knew there was no point in worrying about it now, yet his thoughts kept tangling. Exhaling a long plume of smoke that resembled a sigh, he entered the address into his phone. The red marker on the map was quite some distance from where he stood.

 

Rather than leaving at just the right time and risking a last-minute arrival, it seemed better to set off early, even if that left him with time to spare. He dropped the cigarette, ground it out beneath his shoe and headed wearily towards the bus stop.

 

When he got off the bus, he found himself on a street lined with bars and nightlife establishments. Following the map, one block behind the main road, he entered a dark alley whose atmosphere was entirely different from that of the noisy street. At the end of a road crowded with illegally parked cars stood a five-storey commercial building without a single sign. This was the address Gu Seung-hyuk had given him.

 

Perhaps it was the lack of pedestrians, or perhaps the neglected buildings around it, but the place felt bleak and desolate. I-hyeon glanced towards the light upstairs, then slowly began climbing. Had he said the office was on the fourth floor?

 

The old building had no lift. The second and third floors looked as though they had been empty for years. Crumpled notices advertising space to let lay scattered over bare concrete floors.

 

By the time he reached the fourth floor, his chest was rising and falling heavily. He caught his breath and knocked on the firmly closed metal door. Although he had only tapped it lightly, the banging echoed loudly down the stairs. He frowned at the sharp noise.

 

“Hello?”

 

Nothing sounded from within. He was wondering whether to knock again when the door swung roughly open. Beyond the grey paint and layers of advertising stickers, several men sat watching him warily.

 

“What’s this?”

 

The man who opened the door frowned at I-hyeon, then looked past him and down the stairs as though checking for anyone else. Once he had established that I-hyeon was alone, his gaze returned. His suspicion gave way to puzzlement. Scratching his forehead, he raised an eyebrow.

 

“Kid, haven’t you got the wrong address?”

 

I-hyeon could glimpse the office around him. Several men occupied a large leather sofa, and hwatu cards lay scattered across the central table. Some still held cards in their hands, apparently interrupted in the middle of a game. They all had faces that might make someone hesitate, but working at the club had accustomed I-hyeon to people like them.

 

Just as at Taeseong headquarters, Seung-hyuk had clearly neglected to mention that he was coming. It would probably be quicker to find him directly than to stand here explaining. I-hyeon stepped past the man and into the room. The hulking men on the sofa put down their cards and frowned.

 

“Kid, I asked what you’re here for. This isn’t somewhere you can just wander into.”

 

They moved to block him, their behaviour distinctly threatening. He sighed and was about to say he had come to see Gu Seung-hyuk when a voice cut in from the side.

 

“He’s my guest. Mind your own business and get back to what you were doing.”

 

I-hyeon turned to find Seung-hyuk leaning against the doorway of a separate office. The men looked between them, then began fussing.

 

“Oh, a guest of yours, boss!”

 

“Stop standing there like an idiot. Come inside.”

 

I-hyeon briefly clenched his teeth, then moved. He could feel their eyes clinging to his back. When he reached Seung-hyuk, the man opened the door a little wider. Swallowing, I-hyeon stepped into the separate office. Beyond a space arranged like a large meeting room was a smaller room resembling a study. He stopped, unsure where to go, and heard the door click shut behind him.

 

“Follow me.”

 

Standing beside him in the confined space made Seung-hyuk’s size all the more apparent.

 

Has he got taller?

 

The thought came unbidden. I-hyeon pressed his lips together, shook his head to clear it and followed at a pace behind.

 

“Sit.”

 

Seung-hyuk indicated the sofa with his chin and took the seat opposite. Crossing his legs and leaning back, he studied I-hyeon intently with dark eyes.

 

“I thought you’d be too scared to come. You’ve no idea what I might ask you to do.”

 

“I didn’t think you’d let me run away.”

 

Seung-hyuk gave a mocking laugh at the flat reply.

 

“Ha. True. We’re not running a charity.”

 

Unlike Seung-hyuk, who lounged comfortably, I-hyeon sat with his legs together and his back straight. Seeing him stare at the edge of the table rather than meet his eyes, Seung-hyuk frowned. His mouth twisted into a sneer.

 

“What have you prepared yourself for?”

 

“…”

 

“You said you wouldn’t sell your arse. Do you sell anything else?”

 

“…”

 

“You know how to use your mouth and hands, surely.”

 

I-hyeon lifted his head at the derision in his voice. He knew the words were meant to provoke him. His fists tightened anyway.

 

“If I said I did…”

 

“Would you make me demonstrate here?”

 

Seung-hyuk raised an eyebrow as I-hyeon slowly looked up. For a moment, he held that gaze without turning away. Then he looked aside first and let out a hollow laugh.

 

“Right. That’s more like Kwon I-hyeon.”

 

He stood abruptly and went to the desk. Returning with a manila folder, he dropped it in front of I-hyeon. There was nothing written on the cover. Seung-hyuk’s silent stare seemed to mean he should open it. When he did, he found a familiar man’s photograph at the top of the first page.

 

“Gu Jin-hyuk. Thirty-two. Executive director of Taeseong Group.”

 

“…”

 

“I don’t know whether you’re aware, but he’s my… older brother.”

 

There was a slight pause before older brother. I-hyeon’s hand stopped. Brother? Did Gu Seung-hyuk have an older brother? Old memories suddenly rose in a confused jumble. His expressionless face creased. Shaking his head to clear them, he looked back at the papers. He had seen the man with the cold eyes behind the silver-rimmed glasses several times already.

 

The man who had come looking for Gu Seung-hyuk in the club office. The man who had helped him at headquarters. With those sharply defined features, I-hyeon had merely thought him handsome. Now that he knew he was Seung-hyuk’s brother, there seemed to be something strangely chilling in his eyes. Wetting his lips, he slowly turned the pages.

 

Several sheets of A4 paper listed everything from his likes and dislikes to the restaurants he frequented and the patterns of his daily life. It looked like a document compiled over a long period by someone who had observed him closely.

 

“There’s something I’m looking for. In two weeks, there’s a completion party for VIPs. I need a passcode Gu Jin-hyuk will have that day.”

 

“…”

 

“You stay beside him as his partner at the party and find out the six-digit code. That’s your job.”

 

I-hyeon slowly looked up from the next page. His face was so blank that Seung-hyuk couldn’t begin to guess what he was thinking. Watching him, Seung-hyuk clenched and released his fist. The offer had been impulsive, made because the calm way I-hyeon had asked to borrow money had both infuriated and confounded him.

 

Now, looking at him sitting there with that clear face, oblivious to what he was about to become involved in, something twisted inside him. Seung-hyuk curled his mouth and cracked his knuckles. The item he wanted was a new drug that should have arrived from South America the previous month, concealed among Barbie dolls.

 

The shipment weighed less than a small child, but its market value exceeded thirty billion won. During its journey through Hawaii, it had vanished without a trace. Chairman Gu believed the Seungri Gang had got above themselves. Seung-hyuk thought differently. That spiteful way of fucking someone over could only be Gu Jin-hyuk’s work.

 

As if to confirm his suspicions, the amount of drugs reaching the market had begun to fall. Apparently, Jin-hyuk intended to restrict the supply until he inherited control of the business, then release it at the highest possible price just before everyone went completely mad. There was only one likely location for the missing shipment. The hospitality lounge building whose construction was almost complete.

 

Through someone on the design side, they had learnt that an additional storeroom, absent from the plans, had been built. Supposedly, it could only be opened with a one-time passcode that changed daily. Even if someone obtained the code, it would be useless unless they could enter the lounge that same day. That made the VIP party their only opportunity.

 

Seung-hyuk still couldn’t decide whether involving Kwon I-hyeon in something this important was the right choice. But it was already done. I-hyeon bit his lower lip. The request seemed absurd. If the passcode was important, Jin-hyuk would hardly show it to just anyone. How was I-hyeon supposed to obtain it? Before that, he and Jin-hyuk had only run into one another by chance. They had no meaningful connection at all.

 

“…He doesn’t look like someone a person like me could just approach and get close to.”

 

“You don’t have to worry about that. Even if you do nothing, he’ll approach you first.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He can’t stand leaving anything in my hands. Objects, people—he has to take them.”

 

Seung-hyuk tipped his head and gave a short laugh.

 

“Gu Jin-hyuk doesn’t care whether it’s a man or a woman. But he seems to favour your sort.”

 

“Pale and skinny, with a bit of life in the eyes.”

 

“…”

 

“He likes playing with people like that until he gets bored and throws them away. There’s no chance he’ll leave you alone when you’re beside me.”

 

He put a cigarette between his lips and flicked his lighter. Lowering his eyes as he held the flame to the tip, he continued indistinctly around it.

 

“Use your face, use your body. Whatever you’re good at. Reel him in.”

 

“…”

 

“Get me the passcode, and I’ll wipe out your debt.”

 

For a moment, I-hyeon had been hesitating, certain it was beyond his abilities. Then he lifted his head. Seung-hyuk was watching him with his arms folded, as though studying his reaction. I-hyeon didn’t look away. The Gu Jin-hyuk he had seen in the storeroom and at Taeseong headquarters looked like a businessman without the slightest weakness. There seemed to be no opening anywhere.

 

He was so unlike Seung-hyuk, with his flashy clothes and gangster behaviour, that it was difficult to believe they were brothers. I-hyeon didn’t know why Seung-hyuk needed the passcode. But that this was a good opportunity for him was undeniable. After staring at the folder, he reached out and gripped it.

 

“…What do I have to do?”

 

“I’ve arranged a short-term internship in Gu Jin-hyuk’s secretariat. I’ll have the lads send you the details. You start next week.”

 

A crease formed between I-hyeon’s brows. He had already cashed in his savings to raise the money and was worried about his immediate living expenses. Now it looked as though he would have to leave his job at the sundae-guk restaurant too. He would need to find evening work. Perhaps he could ask whether the bar where he had worked before had any vacancies. Swallowing a sigh, he nodded.

 

Somehow, he was going to be even busier than before. When Seung-hyuk stopped speaking, I-hyeon looked up and met his fixed gaze. He was leaning against the sofa with an expressionless face, one shoe moving idly. Did he have more to say? Or did the stare mean something else? I-hyeon couldn’t work out why he kept looking at him.

 

He held his gaze until a knock broke the silence. Before Seung-hyuk answered, someone poked his head through the door.

 

“Boss, the food’s here.”

 

The man glanced sideways at I-hyeon, then closed the door again. Silence returned. Seung-hyuk uncrossed his legs and stood first.

 

“I don’t need to invite you to stay for dinner, do I?”

 

“We’re hardly on terms where we sit opposite each other and eat.”

 

A self-mocking smile briefly crossed his handsome face. I-hyeon watched him without expression, then rose.

 

“Good. I wasn’t planning to.”

 

“Don’t forget you said you’d cancel the debt if I succeed.”

 

Someone who held the position of executive director at a company like Taeseong wouldn’t be easy to handle. It bothered him that Seung-hyuk had said nothing about what would happen if he failed. Even so, I-hyeon had nothing to lose. He looked steadily at Seung-hyuk, then calmly held out his hand. The faint curve of Seung-hyuk’s mouth slowly disappeared. A large hand closed around his.

 

The warmth passing through that firm palm felt unfamiliar. More unfamiliar still was the way Seung-hyuk looked straight at him. I-hyeon quickly withdrew his hand. As he hurriedly turned away, he felt that gaze burning into his back. I never thought I’d come back here of my own accord.

 

I-hyeon clenched his fists as he looked up at the gleaming high-rise. The monument bearing Taeseong’s name seemed even bigger than before. The whole arrangement had been fixed in advance, but this was still his first time going to work as an employee at such a respectable company. Behind his composed face lay the anxiety and unease of knowing he would have to deceive people. Perhaps because he had stopped so abruptly in front of the building, neatly dressed office workers glanced at him as they passed. Their looks brought him back to his senses. He hurried inside.

 

When he presented his identity card at reception, the employee recognised him and smiled faintly. This time, she seemed to have been informed in advance. The gate opened without delay. He rode the lift with the other employees and reached the secretariat. Only then did the nerves really begin. For less than two weeks, he would have to remain near Gu Jin-hyuk and somehow get close to him. The reality finally sank in. He let out a deep breath and knocked lightly.

 

When the door clicked open, four employees looked up from their desks. Avoiding their mixture of curiosity and suspicion, he bowed. A woman rose from a desk set apart on the right.

 

“Mr Kwon I-hyeon?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Yoon Ji-yeon, head of the secretariat. Everyone, say hello. Mr Kwon I-hyeon will be joining us as an intern for the next month.”

 

“Hello. I look forward to working with you.”

 

He bowed again, and a little applause followed. Ji-yeon led him to a desk in the corner.

 

“You can sit here. You’ll only be with us for a month, so please bear with it if it’s a little inconvenient. We don’t normally have a desk here.”

 

As she had said, the surface was cluttered. It had clearly been used to store supplies and miscellaneous objects. I-hyeon sat in front of a laptop that appeared to have been hastily installed. His reflection in the black screen looked somehow more tired and shabby than usual.

 

“Oh, and…”

 

Her unfinished sentence made him look up. The head secretary wore an uncomfortable expression. She brushed a hand near her eyebrow before speaking.

 

“We have a dress code.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“The company’s rules are fairly strict. And the secretariat in particular has a certain image to maintain.”

 

I-hyeon looked down at his clothes. It was a casual suit he had sometimes worn at the club. Only then did he notice the male employee nearby, formally dressed in a tie and waistcoat. Looking back, the other people he had passed on the way in had been dressed similarly.

 

“Ah…”

 

Among all those conservatively dressed employees, he alone looked like this. No wonder he had attracted attention. He felt his face grow hot. At his embarrassment, Ji-yeon smiled gently.

 

“It’s your first day, so it’s understandable. Just take more care from tomorrow.”

 

“Yes. Of course.”

 

He answered readily, but he didn’t own a formal suit like theirs. He would have to go to a department store straight after work. The figures began spinning in his head. He could hardly keep from sighing.

 

“And here. Take this.”

 

She handed him a thick bound book. When he looked up, she checked her watch and indicated it with her eyes.

 

“It’s a collection of the basic procedures you’ll need to know. Read through it until we take you in to greet the executive director.”

 

“Yes. Thank you.”

 

Opening the heavy book, he found a contents page with more than ten sections. A secretary’s attitude and conduct. Arranging suitable dining venues. Appropriate speech and communication. The detailed explanations brought home again how poorly he fitted into this place. Having finished what she came to say, Ji-yeon returned to her desk and busied herself. The other employees made calls or worked at their computers. Surrounded by people who had mastered this thick manual and competently carried out their responsibilities, he alone was sitting there with an ulterior motive.

 

It felt ridiculous. Almost contemptible. Suppressing a bitter laugh, I-hyeon lowered his eyes to the manual. He didn’t know how much time had passed before someone tapped his desk.

 

“Mr Kwon. We’re going in to greet the executive director. Please come.”

 

“Ah… Yes.”

 

Standing before the office door, his mouth went dry. Their previous meetings had been accidental. Would the man remember him? And if he did, would he find it strange that I-hyeon was here? A light knock, then the door opened, revealing a dark-toned interior. It felt entirely different from Gu Seung-hyuk’s barren, seemingly abandoned office. A set of golf clubs in one corner caught I-hyeon’s eye. Beside him, Ji-yeon spoke first.

 

“Sir, this is Mr Kwon I-hyeon, who is starting as an intern today. Mr Kwon, please introduce yourself.”

 

Ah. Belatedly collecting himself, I-hyeon turned. The man behind the desk raised his eyes. Biting his lower lip, I-hyeon quickly bowed.

 

“Hello. I’m Kwon I-hyeon. I’ll… do my best.”

 

When he lifted his head, their eyes met. Jin-hyuk’s expression was difficult to read. He might have been smiling, or he might have been perfectly blank.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon. Kwon I-hyeon…”

 

Rolling the name over his tongue, he curved his lips as though amused. Then he set his papers on the desk and leaned back.

 

“Mr Kwon.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Director Gu’s office is downstairs. Are you sure you’re in the right place?”

 

“…Yes. I am.”

 

He remembers. The assessing gaze travelled persistently over his face. It slowly moved downwards until it reached the suit he used to wear instead of his uniform at the club. Jin-hyuk gave a breathy laugh.

 

“Interesting.”

 

His attention returned to the documents. It bothered I-hyeon that a man who plainly knew he was involved with Gu Seung-hyuk would dismiss the situation with that single word. He watched Jin-hyuk uneasily, but the man didn’t look up again.

 

“All right. You can go. Secretary Yoon, bring in the outstanding approvals once you’ve organised them.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Only after bowing and turning to follow her out could I-hyeon release his held breath. He had felt it from their first meeting. There seemed to be no opening anywhere in this man. Never mind obtaining a passcode—could he even get close to him? A worried sigh rose in his chest.

 

Once back at his desk, he had nothing to do. The others were all busy with their own work. All he could do was stare at the heavy manual. He spent the entire day sitting as quietly as a mouse among the busy employees, carefully reading the room. Before he knew it, the working day was over. Just as a faintly buoyant atmosphere began settling over the secretariat, Jin-hyuk emerged from his office.

 

“Finish up and go home, everyone. I’m leaving first.”

 

He seemed to glance briefly at I-hyeon, then accepted the employees’ farewells and quickly left. The moment the door closed, they breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Young-eun, a few of us are thinking of going for a drink. Are you free?”

 

“Absolutely! How about that izakaya we went to last time? The food was good, wasn’t it?”

 

Listening to their conversation, I-hyeon began packing his things. Perhaps because it was his first day, he felt drained despite having done almost nothing. After a cautious glance around, he picked up his bag and stood.

 

“I’ll be going too…”

 

Only then did the others turn from their enthusiastic discussion of where to go. One frowned as though suddenly remembering something.

 

“Oh, Mr Kwon. Sorry, but could you take this to the support team before you leave?”

 

“…The support team?”

 

“Seventeenth floor. Thank you.”

 

“Yes. Of course.”

 

He was handed a large cardboard box piled with document boards and papers. It was heavier than he expected and high enough to obstruct his view. While he adjusted his grip, the others collected their belongings and left. Alone, he sighed softly and lifted the box. The building was crowded with employees leaving work. Every lift that opened was packed. Eventually, I-hyeon had no choice but to push open the stairwell door with his body.

 

“Phew…”

 

By the time he had struggled down to the support team’s floor, sweat had formed on his forehead despite the cool air. He had barely stepped from the stairwell into the corridor when someone collided hard with his shoulder.

 

“Oh—!”

 

The man who had bumped him frowned and turned. But all I-hyeon could see was the tilting box. With a loud crash, white papers scattered across the floor.

 

“For fuck’s sake. Watch where you’re going, will you?”

 

Black shoes stood among the sheets of A4 paper. I-hyeon knelt, bowing repeatedly towards the people above him.

 

“…I’m sorry.”

 

“Sorry, boss. Let’s go.”

 

He hurried to gather the papers scattered between the black shoes, but his haste only made it harder. It would have been less humiliating without an audience. For some reason, however, nobody moved. Biting his lip, he took hold of a sheet trapped beneath someone’s shoe.

 

“Excuse me. Your foot…”

 

He hadn’t expected an apology. What he received was a long sigh. Just as he began lifting his head, a hand caught his arm and hauled him upright.

 

“Ah…”

 

The only thing that escaped his mouth was that foolish sound. Gu Seung-hyuk stood before him. Among the black suits, he alone wore a flashy shirt patterned with gold chains. When their eyes met, Seung-hyuk frowned. He released I-hyeon’s arm as though throwing it away and shoved his hands into his pockets.

 

“I told you to catch Gu Jin-hyuk’s eye. Not actually do the fucking work.”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Standing at an angle, he looked I-hyeon up and down. Having crouched and stood again, his trouser hems had ridden up, and his jacket was creased. There was nothing he could say in response to the blunt criticism. Ignoring him, I-hyeon began crouching to collect the papers. His arm was seized again, and he was pulled upright.

 

“What are you all staring at? Pick them up.”

 

At a word from Seung-hyuk, the men who had been standing rigidly bent down. Seeing such large men crouched over the floor gathering papers felt both strange and uncomfortable. Seung-hyuk merely glanced down at them, then addressed I-hyeon.

 

“Where’s this supposed to go?”

 

“…The support team.”

 

“Tae-sik, you heard him. Clear this up, then take the lads for dinner. I need to go out for a bit.”

 

“Yes, boss.”

 

“You two, come with me.”

 

He indicated two men at the side, and everything was swiftly settled. I-hyeon was wondering whether he should thank him when Seung-hyuk jerked his chin.

 

“Kwon I-hyeon. You too.”

 

What was it this time? He was hardly in a position to argue. Swallowing a sigh, he followed. They arrived in the underground car park. The men approached a black saloon, opened the rear doors and waited. When I-hyeon hesitated, Seung-hyuk spoke indifferently.

 

“Get in.”

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“You’ll see.”

 

The car stopped outside a department store. Lights decorating the trees and building filled the surroundings with the atmosphere of the year’s end. Seung-hyuk didn’t spare them a glance. I-hyeon hurried after his brisk stride.

 

“Why are we here?”

 

Seung-hyuk raised one eyebrow, looked him over and answered as though the question were tiresome.

 

“Just stay close.”

 

I-hyeon frowned at the cold tone, but he could hardly object. He followed silently. Seung-hyuk strode ahead in his gaudy loan-shark shirt, accompanied by two burly men. With their hard faces and black clothes, they might as well have been wearing signs announcing that they were gangsters. I-hyeon could feel people staring. Seung-hyuk entered a menswear shop as though none of it bothered him. While he glanced casually through the clothes along the wall, I-hyeon hovered awkwardly near the entrance with the two men. He couldn’t understand why he had been dragged here.

 

Fine. Since I’m here, I might as well look for something to wear. Swallowing a sigh, he looked around. Seung-hyuk completed a circuit of the shop and apparently found nothing he liked. Returning towards the entrance, he tilted his head at I-hyeon.

 

“One of Gu Jin-hyuk’s men has attached himself to us. Over in that corner.”

 

“What?”

 

“I told you. Stay beside me, and he’ll take an interest first.”

 

I-hyeon quickly turned in the direction Seung-hyuk indicated. Someone vanished around a corner. Seung-hyuk watched with widened eyes and cracked his neck.

 

“So at least pretend to cooperate.”

 

Biting his lip, I-hyeon followed him into the next shop. Mannequins in classic three-piece suits stood throughout it. A young, somewhat awkward-looking sales assistant approached and greeted them. Now that he knew someone working for Gu Jin-hyuk was following, I-hyeon could hardly stand there blankly as before. He moved through the hangers beside Seung-hyuk, pretending to inspect the clothes.

 

All the jackets looked much the same. While touching the hem of one, he noticed the price tag inside. One zero. Two. Three. Four… His eyes widened at the astonishing figure.

 

“Gu Jin-hyuk doesn’t like that style. Go and try this.”

 

Seung-hyuk stood with his hands shoved into his pockets, indicating a mannequin. I-hyeon looked between him and the grey checked three-piece suit before answering.

 

“Who? Me?”

 

“Who else is here?”

 

Only then did he realise that Seung-hyuk had brought him here for his sake. The delayed understanding made him frown. He did need a suit for work. But he had never intended to buy one somewhere like this.

 

“Let’s go somewhere else. You can get decent clothes at an outlet.”

 

“Bring that in his size. Oh, and that one too.”

 

Ignoring him entirely, Seung-hyuk pointed at the next mannequin. The assistant returned uncertainly with the clothes and looked between them.

 

“Why would I try that on? I don’t have that kind of money.”

 

“I didn’t ask you to pay.”

 

“Why would you buy it for me? I don’t want it.”

 

It would have been so much easier if he simply did as he was told. Seung-hyuk frowned irritably.

 

“I-hyeon. Do you think I brought you here for a leisurely little shopping trip?”

 

“…”

 

“If I tell you to put it on, put it on.”

 

The assistant tensed at the sudden sharpness in Seung-hyuk’s manner. Seeing him trapped between them, watching nervously, I-hyeon sighed. There was no reasoning with this man.

 

“…Could you show me the fitting room?”

 

Apparently, the assistant had only recently started. Every change in his emotions showed plainly on his face. He had looked frightened of Seung-hyuk; now, at I-hyeon’s reply, he brightened at once and led the way.

 

“The shirt should fit… The waistcoat might be a little big. Um… Oh, right. If you start with these, I’ll find the right size and bring it over. One moment.”

 

I-hyeon watched him fluster, then nodded. He considered telling him not to hurry but doubted it would help. A little later, he changed into the shirt in the fitting room. The fabric felt impossibly soft against his skin. As expected, the price tag carried a startling number. He had no reason to accept clothes like these from Gu Seung-hyuk. Nor did he want to.

 

He quickly took the shirt off and changed back. If a single shirt cost this much, there was no reason to try the rest. Opening the fitting-room door carefully, he met Seung-hyuk’s sour gaze from across the shop. He was about to say it was too expensive when the assistant hurried over, his arms full of jackets, shoes and belts.

 

“Sir, I brought some shoes and other things that I thought would suit—”

 

“Oh—!”

 

The trouble began when his elbow struck a mannequin as he tried to avoid a crowded clothes rail. Two mannequins, each as tall as a grown man, slowly tilted before crashing down on top of him. The noise drew the attention of even the passing shoppers. The assistant groaned and clutched his hand. Startled, I-hyeon hurried over.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

“I-I’m sorry, sir. I’ve only just started working here… I’m sorry.”

 

“Let me see your hand first.”

 

He took the assistant’s hand and found a long scrape. Beads of blood were forming. I-hyeon frowned faintly.

 

“Do you have a first-aid box?”

 

“By the till, but…”

 

“Wait here.”

 

He found the box where the assistant had indicated and brought it back. After applying disinfectant, he quickly spread ointment over the wound.

 

“Oh my goodness! What on earth happened?”

 

As he knelt tending to the injured hand, a woman’s startled voice sounded behind him. Looking round, he saw a woman wearing a manager’s badge bowing repeatedly.

 

“Are you all right, sir? I’m so sorry. Our trainee seems to have made a mistake. My apologies.”

 

Gu Seung-hyuk stood before her with his hands in his pockets and his weight resting on one leg. He didn’t look at her once. His gaze remained fixed on I-hyeon. I-hyeon frowned at the sight of him merely watching coldly while someone was hurt. Forcing his attention away, he stood.

 

“We’re fine. He’s the one who’s injured. I think you should make sure he gets it properly treated.”

 

The assistant had got to his feet and stood beside the manager, bowing over and over. Touching his bandaged arm, he shook his head.

 

“No, it’s not a serious injury… Thank you for helping me, sir. Thank you so much.”

 

“What a fucking performance.”

 

The cold sneer came from beside them. Seung-hyuk looked between I-hyeon and the assistant, then walked away. I-hyeon bowed to the two employees and hurried after him. Seung-hyuk stopped in front of the lifts and looked up at the display. For some reason, his expression was icy. I-hyeon had done nothing wrong, but he had no desire to provoke a visibly angry Gu Seung-hyuk. He stood silently beside him.

 

The cold voice came while the lift was still several floors above.

 

“Still poking your nose into everyone else’s business.”

 

“…”

 

“Makes me feel stupid for ever being moved by that cheap kindness you hand out to anyone.”

 

I-hyeon had no idea what had soured his mood so abruptly. By now, he was tired of reacting to every sarcastic remark. His own expression hardened as he watched the numbers above the doors.

 

“Wait! Please wait!”

 

The urgent shout came just as the lift was almost there. I-hyeon turned to find the young assistant running towards them. He stopped in front of him, breathless, and held something out.

 

“Hah… This isn’t much, but… To thank you for helping… Phew…”

 

It was a box containing a neatly patterned tie. Taken aback, I-hyeon shook his head and said it was unnecessary, but the assistant pressed it into his hands.

 

“If you visit us again, I’ll make sure I look after you properly. I’m sorry. And thank you again, sir.”

 

He bowed abruptly, then hurried away as quickly as he had come. It felt as though something had swept through. When I-hyeon finally gathered himself, only the small wrapped box remained in his hands. An involuntary smile escaped him. The young man’s flustered mistakes reminded him of himself around the age of twenty.

 

“Ah… That really pisses me off.”

 

Watching him, Seung-hyuk turned his head and muttered. Before I-hyeon could ask what he meant, the lift doors opened, and Seung-hyuk stepped inside.

 

“Get in.”

 

The commanding tone made him want to resist. Instead, he bit his lip and took his place beside him. Just as the doors began to close, Seung-hyuk suddenly reached towards him.

 

“—!”

 

He snatched the little box from I-hyeon’s hands and flung it through the narrowing gap as though throwing away rubbish. I-hyeon looked up at him, unable to hide his shock and disbelief. Seung-hyuk merely stared straight ahead, expressionless. His composure made I-hyeon’s face tighten.

 

“What the hell are you doing?”

 

“I’ll buy the clothes and have them sent over. Wear them to work. If you start saying they’re too expensive or you feel uncomfortable accepting them, I’ll put them straight in the bin in front of you, just like that. So don’t bother with the nonsense.”

 

The moment the doors opened, Seung-hyuk stepped out. I-hyeon glared at the back of his head and bit his lower lip. True to his word, men with intimidating faces came hammering on I-hyeon’s front door around dawn. Their arms were covered in tattoos, their mouths firmly shut. They looked over I-hyeon and his cramped room, arranged the clothes, then left without a word.

 

I-hyeon stared at the wardrobe filled with expensive suits unlike anything he had ever worn. A long sigh escaped him. He opened the message thread bearing Gu Seung-hyuk’s name and typed: The clothes arrived. Tha— Then he shook his head and pressed the home button. Nothing pleasant was likely to come back if he sent it. Just get ready for work.

 

The sudden arrival had left him too alert to sleep again. Checking the clock on the bedside table, he ran his fingertips over the suit hanging at the back of the wardrobe. The fabric was so soft that his hand closed involuntarily into a fist. He arrived early, thinking he might run into Gu Jin-hyuk. The secretariat’s lights were already on.

 

“Good morning.”

 

The head secretary, typing at her computer, answered with a brief glance. Watching her cautiously, I-hyeon went to his corner. As the start of the working day approached, the others arrived one by one. They barely acknowledged him sitting with the manual before taking their seats.

 

“I’m going to get the executive director’s coffee. Does anyone want anything?”

 

“Su-jin, an Americano for me too, please.”

 

“Oh, me too. Iced!”

 

Sitting blankly among all these busy people made I-hyeon feel uncharacteristically self-conscious. That was why he suddenly lifted his head and spoke.

 

“I’ll go.”

 

Su-jin, who normally fetched Jin-hyuk’s coffee every morning, brightened at the prospect of one less chore. I-hyeon took the company card from her and went to the café downstairs. When he returned with both hands full, everyone was busy preparing for the day. He set a coffee on each desk. Just as Su-jin began to rise, he spoke.

 

“Could I take the executive director’s in?”

 

Two weeks was nowhere near long enough to become close to someone, especially when he needed to obtain something from that person. If he didn’t force opportunities like this, the time might run out before he had even seen Jin-hyuk more than a handful of times.

 

“Yes. Of course.”

 

As though he had been waiting for permission, I-hyeon picked up the Americano and approached the office. It was a trivial task, but he felt nervous. He wet his lips and opened the door. Despite having entered once before, he couldn’t get used to the place. The heavy black and wood-toned interior felt inexplicably intimidating. Jin-hyuk was working at the far end. After a moment’s hesitation, I-hyeon approached the desk.

 

“Sir, your coffee…”

 

Jin-hyuk hadn’t moved when the door opened. At I-hyeon’s voice, he looked up. He studied his face, then smiled.

 

“Your tie’s crooked.”

 

“Ah.”

 

Looking down hurriedly, I-hyeon saw that it was leaning to one side. He adjusted it and looked back up. He could distinctly feel Jin-hyuk’s gaze travelling over him.

 

“Nice suit.”

 

“…Thank you.”

 

“It’s from this season’s collection. Rather expensive for someone just starting work. Does your family have money?”

 

“…Pardon?”

 

“Or did someone buy it for you?”

 

The accurate remark made his mouth go dry. Jin-hyuk must have known he’d been walking around the department store with Gu Seung-hyuk the previous day. I-hyeon swallowed and tightened his fist. But Jin-hyuk lowered his gaze to the paper cup as though he hadn’t expected an answer.

 

“Thank you for the coffee. I’ll enjoy it.”

 

I-hyeon gave an awkward bow and pressed his lips together.

 

“I’ll leave you to it. Please let me know if there’s anything you need.”

 

“Will you do anything I ask?”

 

The even voice stopped him as he turned to leave. Raised eyes beneath a lifted brow watched him intently.

 

“Pardon?”

 

He didn’t understand the question. Was it only his imagination that made it sound dangerous?

 

“If I ask you to do something, will you do it?”

 

I-hyeon closed his mouth and looked at him. Jin-hyuk gave a short laugh, his expression easing.

 

“I wasn’t trying to make you nervous.”

 

“Let’s have dinner to mark your joining the company. Keep this evening free.”

 

“Ah…”

 

“Tell Secretary Yoon to come in on your way out.”

 

His gaze dropped. The conversation was over, whether I-hyeon had anything to say or not. He started to speak, then closed his mouth and bowed. Here or there, his opinion didn’t matter.

 

“Going somewhere after work, Mr Kwon? You look busy.”

 

Someone spoke as I-hyeon began putting his things away near the end of the day. Wondering whether he had made too much of preparing to leave, he answered cautiously.

 

“The executive director asked me to have dinner with him.”

 

“Oh? The executive director?”

 

The woman’s eyes widened in surprise.

 

“He doesn’t usually keep people after work for personal reasons.”

 

I-hyeon didn’t know the reason for the sudden invitation either. But it was an ideal opportunity to become even a little closer to him. Anxiety and worry showed in his fingers as he adjusted his clothes. A short while later, Jin-hyuk emerged and signalled to him. I-hyeon said goodbye to the secretariat and followed.

 

Jin-hyuk took him to an upmarket Korean restaurant housed in an elegant hanok, its dining spaces arranged as private rooms. He must have visited often. The staff recognised him at the entrance and led them to a separate building at the back. Sitting opposite Gu Jin-hyuk across the table made I-hyeon’s mouth repeatedly go dry. He kept drinking water to hide his nerves. Jin-hyuk looked perfectly at ease. Even after the paper-panelled door opened and dishes began appearing one by one, neither spoke.

 

I-hyeon was trying to think of something to say when he noticed the scar on Jin-hyuk’s hand.

 

“You have… a scar on your hand.”

 

The dark mark in the middle of the back of his left hand looked old. It seemed to be the remnant of a serious injury. Jin-hyuk glanced down.

 

“Oh. A dog bit me when I was young. I was given a well-bred fighting dog for my birthday. It bit me while I was training it. The mark never went away.”

 

A fighting dog as a birthday present. Imagining a vicious animal barking and lunging at someone, I-hyeon frowned.

 

“I’ve heard dogs like that… can keep doing it once they’ve tasted blood. That you have to be careful.”

 

“That’s right. Usually, putting them down is the standard response. Once a dog bites its owner, there’s no guarantee it won’t do it again.”

 

“But that one would have been a waste. I kept it, then gave it a proper burial when it died later.”

 

I-hyeon had raised the subject assuming it was an ordinary accident. The more he heard, the more sombre he became. When he fell cautiously silent, Jin-hyuk gave a breathy laugh.

 

“It looks as though you’ve hurt your hand too.”

 

Somehow, he had spotted the scar on I-hyeon’s right palm. I-hyeon closed his hand into a fist.

 

“I injured it at work when I was younger. It was quite a deep cut.”

 

“How unfortunate.”

 

“…We both have scars on our hands.”

 

He had finally found one thing they shared. Jin-hyuk gave a short laugh. It was telling that this was all he could find to discuss with him. They lived in entirely different worlds. The man ate with precise, economical movements. As I-hyeon continued awkwardly using his chopsticks in the silence, Jin-hyuk suddenly spoke.

 

“You and Seung-hyuk…”

 

“I hear you went to the same school.”

 

The hand lowering his chopsticks gave a small tremor. Their shared school was something Jin-hyuk could easily have learnt from the CV I-hyeon had submitted to make the placement look legitimate. Even so, a chill ran down his back, as though someone had caught him by the neck.

 

“If that was before he dropped out, you must have been in your final year.”

 

“…Dropped out?”

 

“You didn’t know? He went into juvenile detention in his second year, I think. Came out a year later and quit straight away. The bastard never finished secondary school. Funny, isn’t it? A nobody with no qualifications sitting there with a title and business cards while perfectly decent employees are passed over.”

 

I-hyeon’s pulse quickened at this unfamiliar piece of Seung-hyuk’s past. After transferring to a school in a distant area in his final year, he had deliberately avoided hearing anything about him. That made the news all the more startling. Seeing his expression grow serious, Jin-hyuk also put down his chopsticks and folded his arms. He watched I-hyeon with a thin smile pulling at one corner of his mouth.

 

“This is merely personal curiosity, but what sort of deal did you make with Gu Seung-hyuk?”

 

“…Pardon?”

 

“You don’t look friendly enough to be friends. And Seung-hyuk’s far too fastidious about that sort of thing for the two of you to be sleeping together.”

 

“…”

 

“That leaves a transaction, doesn’t it?”

 

For a moment, I-hyeon failed to control his expression. His heart dropped as though he had plunged from the top of a roller coaster. He moved his lips without knowing what to say, then finally forced out a composed reply.

 

“…I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“What is it? Has he asked you to steal confidential information on an ongoing project?”

 

Jin-hyuk merely laughed at him.

 

“An internship we don’t need suddenly appears, and you walk into it as though you’ve been waiting. I’d be an idiot not to notice.”

 

I-hyeon became certain that Jin-hyuk had already investigated him. After hearing that they were being followed, he had considered the possibility that Jin-hyuk suspected something. He hadn’t expected him to say it so directly. He struggled to keep his dismay from showing.

 

“Unfortunately for you, important documents come straight to me without passing through the secretariat. There won’t be much information for you to take. Will that still be all right?”

 

The fortunate part was that Jin-hyuk believed their target was confidential project material as long as he didn’t know that he himself was the target. Lowering his thick-lashed eyes, I-hyeon answered quietly.

 

“It isn’t like that. I want to learn as much as I can until my placement ends.”

 

“What unnecessary diligence.”

 

Jin-hyuk nodded and resumed eating. I-hyeon remained still. He had no desire to put anything else in his mouth and merely moved his chopsticks about. Then someone knocked at the paper-panelled door. It flew open.

 

“Fancy seeing you here.”

 

Gu Seung-hyuk stood in the doorway in a muted blue suit. A staff member in a hanbok hovered anxiously beside him. I-hyeon’s eyes widened at his sudden appearance. Jin-hyuk calmly picked up his napkin.

 

“Where did you learn that it was acceptable to barge into someone else’s meal?”

 

“It’s not just anyone. My big brother’s here. As your younger brother, surely I ought to show my face.”

 

Seung-hyuk answered the cold remark with slippery ease.

 

“Besides, throwing a perfectly good friend into the jaws of death and then pretending not to notice doesn’t suit me.”

 

He spoke as though he knew Jin-hyuk had already worked out the connection between them.

 

“So you do know that’s where you’ve sent him?”

 

“Come on. I chose him carefully to suit your tastes. Don’t be too rough.”

 

Jin-hyuk’s expression didn’t change at the sarcasm. He glanced casually at I-hyeon, then smiled lazily.

 

“Yes. He’s quite nice.”

 

“Pretty.”

 

Listening to them discuss him like an object while he sat directly before them, I-hyeon gave a self-mocking smile. He felt like a prize in the centre of a poker table where both players already knew each other’s cards. Seung-hyuk ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. I-hyeon sat quietly without meeting his eyes even once.

 

That clear, expressionless face sent his previously settled feelings lurching sideways. His mood soured. Raising an eyebrow, he laughed hollowly.

 

“Calling someone with the same thing between his legs pretty—doesn’t that disgust you?”

 

“I’m not sure. Your inability to understand when you’re unwelcome is beginning to irritate me more.”

 

People passing the open doorway glanced inside. The staff took their cue and began trying to coax Seung-hyuk away in gentle voices. Looking around, he muttered a quiet curse.

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk. Are you going to keep standing there? Shall we leave instead?”

 

Jin-hyuk pushed up his glasses and looked at him coldly. Seung-hyuk glanced over him and I-hyeon once more, then turned and walked towards the exit. It felt as though a storm had passed through. His retreating figure vanished behind the closing door.

 

“Now I’ve seen that, perhaps it isn’t a deal. Perhaps he has something over you.”

 

“Tell me if you need help.”

 

Seung-hyuk didn’t have some secret hold over him. I-hyeon had borrowed money and was paying for it. But if Jin-hyuk chose to interpret it that way, things might become easier. Getting closer through sympathy would be simpler than seducing him. He wet his dry lips and gave a barely perceptible nod. His phone vibrated briefly in his pocket. After checking Jin-hyuk’s expression, he looked at it beneath the table.

 

[I-hyeon, have you had dinner? I was only wondering whether you’ve thought about what we discussed.] It was his mother. He felt the blood leave his face and his expression stiffen. A sideways glance met Jin-hyuk’s eyes.

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk?”

 

“Ah, no. My mother… My father’s in hospital, so… She’s asking when I’m coming…”

 

He had received the money from Seung-hyuk, but had still not transferred it to his mother. He was not certain. He could not promise himself that he would be all right facing his father. Confronted once more with the visit he had been avoiding for lack of courage, his mind went blank. Flustered, he stumbled through an explanation without separating what should be said from what should remain unspoken. Jin-hyuk calmly lifted his glass.

 

“Tomorrow’s Friday. Take the day off and visit him. I’ll tell the secretariat.”

 

“Ah…”

 

“You didn’t come here to work anyway. It hardly matters.”

 

His kindness stirred complicated feelings. Gratitude and resentment mingled at being made to face something he had wanted to avoid. Still, from Jin-hyuk’s perspective, it was an act of consideration. I-hyeon pressed his lips together and bowed. Was treating him openly as a spy while showing him consideration a sign of how confident Jin-hyuk was? Or was it some form of interest?

 

“If you’ve finished, let’s go.”

 

I-hyeon thanked him after he paid, then followed him outside. When Jin-hyuk opened the driver’s door, I-hyeon spoke.

 

“Thank you for dinner, sir. I’ll see you tomorrow—ah, next week.”

 

“Get in. I’ll take you home.”

 

“No, it’s all right. I can get a taxi.”

 

“There’s a car behind you.”

 

As he said, another car was pulling out. Unable to keep blocking the way, I-hyeon reluctantly took the passenger seat. Jin-hyuk indicated the navigation screen.

 

“Put in your address.”

 

Once he had entered it, silence returned. With no radio or music playing, the indicator's ticking sounded unusually loud. Only after they crossed Seoul and entered familiar streets did I-hyeon begin to relax. He asked to be dropped at the entrance to the winding alley, but Jin-hyuk insisted on stopping outside his building. Looking up at the old block of flats, he spoke.

 

“Do you live with your parents?”

 

“No. I moved out a long time ago.”

 

“The building looks old. It would be serious if something happened.”

 

To someone else, it might look shabby. But after moving from rooftop room to rooftop room ever since graduation, this was the first place I-hyeon had obtained that felt like a proper home. He bowed towards the man inspecting the surroundings.

 

“Thank you for bringing me.”

 

Jin-hyuk stared for a moment at the clutter piled between the buildings. Then he turned back to I-hyeon with a faint smile.

 

“If anything happens, tell me. I meant it when I said I’d help.”

 

Was it the ease that came with having everything, or simply his nature, that allowed him to be so kind to someone he had barely known for a few days? Either way, it was difficult not to be troubled by it when I-hyeon’s job was to deceive him. No. Don’t think about it. He’s the target. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Forcing a smile, I-hyeon nodded and got out. Rather than going upstairs, he stood at the entrance and watched the car leave. His phone vibrated just as the headlights disappeared and he turned towards home. Opening the message without thinking, he saw Su-bin’s name. [I-hyeon. I’m at Aiki in Useong-dong. Booked a room with some friends for the first time in ages. We’ve got things to talk about, so come over for a bit.]

 

His foot stopped. He had assumed their connection ended when Su-bin cut contact. The sudden invitation to a club left him bewildered. He tried calling, just in case. There was no answer. Looking down at the phone, he wet his lips. What should I do?

 

Rationally, he should not go. But Su-bin was right. They did still have things to discuss. It had continued bothering him that he had left Nexus without properly apologising for what happened. After a moment’s hesitation, he opened a taxi app instead of going upstairs. He walked back down the alley Jin-hyuk had insisted on driving him along, got into the taxi and rested his forehead against the window.

 

Now that he did not have work the next day, he could stop by, talk briefly and leave. Even so, the thought of explaining that day already weighed on him. The taxi made good time and dropped him on a street full of bars and nightlife venues. Despite it being a weekday evening, a queue stretched outside the club. This time, among all the dressed-up customers, his rigidly formal suit made him stand out.

 

Near the entrance, he called Su-bin again. The ringing continued. Nobody answered. With no choice, he opened the messaging app. [Hyung, I’m outside. Call me.] He folded his arms and hunched into himself, waiting. Perhaps because he was wearing a coat rather than a padded jacket, the cold seemed worse. Five more minutes. If there’s still no reply, I’ll go. He was staring at his shoes when someone spoke.

 

“Are you Kwon I-hyeon?”

 

He looked up sharply. A slightly flashy-looking man with neatly swept-up hair was watching him. After checking his face, the man smiled as though meeting someone he knew.

 

“Wow. You look exactly like the photos. You’re waiting for Su-bin hyung, right? He’s a bit drunk, so I came out instead.”

 

I-hyeon frowned. He had come to talk to Su-bin. If he was too drunk even to come outside, that changed things.

 

“Come in first. It’s freezing.”

 

A bad feeling stirred, but standing outside was becoming difficult. Pressing his lips together, I-hyeon followed. They passed people queuing and dancing closely together, then entered a corridor where the pounding music gradually diminished. The man opened a heavy soundproof door and grinned.

 

“Hyung! Su-bin hyung! The I-hyeon you were looking for is here!”

 

The moment he entered, I-hyeon frowned. Whether the ventilation was poor or there was simply too much smoking, the room was thick with acrid smoke. The people inside looked flushed and drunk. On one sofa, Su-bin was half lying down.

 

“Oh, you’re here? Hey, Yoon Su-bin. Your I-hyeon’s arrived. Wake up, you bastard.”

 

A man who appeared to be a friend shook Su-bin’s shoulder and lightly slapped his cheek. Su-bin shook his head as though trying to collect himself. Then he saw I-hyeon and laughed.

 

“Oh. You really came.”

 

“Ha! Listen to him. ‘You really came.’ I-hyeon, sit here.”

 

The man who had brought him inside sat him beside Su-bin and took the seat on his other side. Already tipsy, the others became newly animated and began refilling their glasses. A fresh glass appeared before I-hyeon. Ice and liquor followed. He watched, then sighed.

 

Had he known Su-bin would be this far gone, he would not have come. He had wanted to apologise, however belatedly, for what Gu Seung-hyuk had done. Su-bin apparently just wanted someone to drink with. Planning to play along briefly and then leave under the pretence of going to the toilet, I-hyeon emptied the glass. The others let out exaggerated cheers.

 

“I-hyeon… Our pretty I-hyeon came when I called. No, wait, you little shit… Of course you should come when I call. After everything I’ve done for you. Fuck.”

 

A heavy arm settled across his shoulders as he put the glass down. Su-bin had hauled himself upright. The smell of alcohol was strong. I-hyeon looked up and frowned. Su-bin’s unfocused pupils looked strangely black.

 

“…Hyung, why have you drunk so much?”

 

“How the fuck am I supposed not to drink? After that happened, everyone at the club found out I was a fucking queer…”

 

Every slurred phrase ended in a curse. From what I-hyeon could gather, the rumours had spread to the point where Su-bin felt watched by everyone and quit. Guilt rose again. I-hyeon lowered his eyes and pressed his lips together. Su-bin watched him blearily, then roughly stroked the back of his head.

 

“But I-hyeon’s gone and fallen for that fucking gangster, huh…?”

 

Apparently, he remembered that terrifying incident as some kind of romantic drama. I-hyeon did feel guilty towards him. That did not mean he had to accept this drunken behaviour. Sighing, he tried to remove the arm. Su-bin frowned sharply.

 

“Just stay still.”

 

He seized the back of I-hyeon’s neck and suddenly leaned towards him.

 

“Don’t…!”

 

I-hyeon turned his head, but the grip was strong. When he twisted his whole body to resist, the man on his other side smoothly intervened.

 

“Hey, hey, hyung. He’s saying no. Don’t do that. Have another drink.”

 

The man refilled an empty glass and squeezed himself between them. I-hyeon drew his legs together, uncomfortable with their touching thighs. The man smiled faintly. The drinking continued that way. Whenever Su-bin tried to say something, the sharp-featured younger man stepped in and redirected the conversation. And whenever I-hyeon decided he had endured enough and tried to leave, that same man caught his wrist.

 

In the end, he neither spoke properly to Su-bin nor went home. Time simply passed. Most of the others eventually succumbed to the drink.

 

“…I’ll be leaving now.”

 

He had done enough. As he reached for his phone on the table, someone snatched it first. The man was still sitting beside him.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Ah. Finally, some quiet. Noisy, weren’t they? They always get like that when they drink.”

 

I-hyeon had no interest in learning what Su-bin’s friends were like. He wanted to take his heavy body home. But the man showed no sign of returning his phone. This is fucking annoying.

 

“Give me my phone.”

 

“Wow. Your eyelashes are really long. Su-bin hyung showed me photos a few times, but you’re better-looking in person. How old are you?”

 

The man ignored him and carried on saying whatever he liked. I-hyeon pressed a hand to his aching head and frowned. The man laughed again as though he had discovered something fascinating.

 

“Fuck. You look even hotter when you scowl.”

 

What is this? He suddenly moved closer until their legs pressed together. Disgusted by the solid contact, I-hyeon tried to shift away. The man caught his far shoulder and pulled him sharply back.

 

“I hear you only sleep with men.”

 

“…”

 

“They say once you get a taste for a man’s arse, you’re in trouble. Is that true?”

 

“…Hah.”

 

He encountered people like this from time to time. People who did not identify as gay but were curious about sex with men. Apparently, this man was one of them. I-hyeon had no intention of becoming his entertainment.

 

“Let go.”

 

He frowned and tried to pull away. The man tugged harder, making him lose balance. Taking the hand I-hyeon had braced against his thigh, he guided it towards his crotch.

 

“Hyung. Wait, are you older? I’m twenty-four, so you must be, right? Anyway, hyung. Want to try it with me? I’ll treat you better than Su-bin.”

 

The shape beneath his hand was unmistakable. I-hyeon jerked his arm free and seized the glass of water in front of him. He drank quickly, wanting to clear his head and get away.

 

“Oh? Hyung, you shouldn’t drink that so fast.”

 

I-hyeon glared at him. The man was smiling as though greatly entertained.

 

“I mixed that earlier so we could have some fun later. Of course, I put it there for you, but still. I don’t even know your age yet…”

 

I-hyeon’s face tightened. He had thought something tasted wrong even while drinking. He could not believe he had innocently emptied the whole glass. Seizing the man’s collar, he glared.

 

“…What? What did you put in it?”

 

“Nothing dangerous, so don’t worry. It should start working soon. Aren’t you hot?”

 

As soon as the words ended, a deep thirst and a creeping heat began to spread from his throat through his veins.

 

“…What the fuck are you…”

 

His breathing quickened. Strength seemed to drain from his body, leaving him heavy and languid. His upright posture collapsed. The man pulled I-hyeon’s hand from his collar and wrapped an arm around his waist. The touches at his cheeks, ears and neck felt like insects crawling over him. Yet heat rose anyway. As he began breathing harder, the man laughed. He undid the buttons of I-hyeon’s white shirt and pressed his lips to his exposed neck.

 

“Let… go…”

 

I-hyeon struggled to push him away, but even lifting his arms was difficult. The hand creeping over his body was unbearable. He bit his lower lip hard, trying to remain alert, then drove both hands against the man’s chest.

 

“I said… stop!”

 

A crash followed. The man had apparently not expected such force from someone who had been struggling so weakly. Caught off guard, he fell onto the table. I-hyeon seized the chance, pulled the door open and fled. Pounding music travelled through the walls and floor into his body. The world spun. Bracing himself against the wall, he struggled forwards while people glanced at him and looked away without interest. He had just started towards the exit again when a sinister voice sounded behind him.

 

“For fuck’s sake. I was trying to do this nicely…”

 

A hand seized his shoulder and spun him round. The man’s flushed face was twisted with anger. He grabbed I-hyeon’s arm and began pulling him away.

 

“Why are you acting so precious, hyung? From what Su-bin told me, you’re not that sort. Huh?”

 

“Let go, you fucking bastard…”

 

The music, flashing lights and crowded bodies made everything whirl. Nausea rose. When he shook off the man’s hand again, he registered his own loss of balance a moment too late. He caught himself against a nearby table. Glasses and other objects fell with a sharp crash. Voices rose, and heads turned.

 

“Sorry! I’m sorry! My friend’s a bit drunk.”

 

“Let go of me!”

 

With an awkward smile, the man tried to support and pull him away. Someone at the table frowned and blocked their path. I-hyeon could barely lift his head to see who it was, but the person sounded angry about the disturbance. As the two men raised their voices and I-hyeon struggled to escape the grip, the atmosphere quickly turned ugly. Then men in black suits appeared, and the confrontation subsided.

 

“No, it was an accident. My friend’s had too much to drink.”

 

“Accident or not, stop disrupting someone else’s business. Sort it out at the police station.”

 

Speaking coldly, they dragged I-hyeon and the man away and pushed them through a side door. A police car waited outside, apparently already summoned. Seeing an officer approach, separate him from the man and lead him away brought I-hyeon an unexpected sense of relief. He obediently got into the police car.

 

“Hello? Try to stay alert.”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“He’s completely out of it.”

 

The officer’s voice beside him sounded distant and muffled. Meanwhile, Su-bin’s friend seemed to be protesting loudly about being taken in. I-hyeon glanced at him resisting getting into the car, then struggled to hold on to his fading consciousness. He caught the officer’s wrist. Barely parting his lips, he whispered:

 

“Search his belongings… He put drugs in my water…”

 

“What?”

 

“He… drugged me…”

 

It took almost everything he had to say it. No answer came. Puzzled, he looked up. The officer was staring at him in disbelief. When their eyes met, he gave a derisive little snort.

 

“Yes, yes. All right. Get some sleep and sober up before we arrive.”

 

For a moment, I-hyeon felt betrayed that even the officer he had trusted had dismissed him. Then a hollow laugh escaped him like air leaking out. Of course. A man drugging another man to try something. Apparently, it sounded ridiculous. Even that faint smile vanished from his face. He closed his eyes, wishing everything would simply disappear. When he opened his eyes, his whole body ached as though he had been beaten. Slowly sitting up, he looked around. People in uniforms bearing the word ‘Police’ moved busily about. He was lying on a long row of seats along one wall of the station.

 

His memory had gone blank after leaving the club. Even how he had ended up here was hazy. As he sat trying to settle his churning stomach, a passing officer addressed him.

 

“Sober now? If you’re awake, go over there and sign, collect your phone and head home.”

 

Only then did the last scene he remembered flash through his mind: the man touching his drugged body and trying to drag him away; the officer refusing to believe him and laughing. Belated humiliation and shame blurred his vision. His heart hammered until he could feel his pulse at the back of his neck. Perhaps the drug had not entirely worn off. His whole body seemed to throb. He endured it until he could finally stand.

 

“Here, take your phone. The battery was dead, so we couldn’t contact anyone… Anyway, don’t drink so much next time, all right?”

 

I-hyeon bowed to the officer, who handed it over with a contemptuous look, then hurried outside. The sun had not yet risen, and the dark street was almost deserted. Once the station was out of sight, he turned a corner and slipped between two unlit shops. He took out a cigarette. Its red tip burned down quickly in the cold wind. Smoking on an empty stomach, with the drug perhaps still in his system, proved a poor choice. Nausea surged. He threw the cigarette away, bent over and retched. Only saliva and thin stomach acid came up. He had eaten nothing. Of course there was nothing else.

 

Even so, his nose burned and his throat felt raw. His eyes stung. With one hand against the wall, he kept his head lowered and closed his eyes. Why did these things keep happening to him? By now, he was beginning to wonder whether something was wrong with him. The thought that all this endless misfortune might be his own fault drew a hollow, bitter laugh from his wet lips.

 

He remained there until the wind chilled his fingertips. Only then did he straighten. The morning was beginning to brighten around him. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he leaned against the cold wall. Of all days, he had to go and see his father today in this state. Dismay tightened his chest. He had at least wanted to appear confident in front of his parents. Now he could not even manage that. I don’t want to go.

 

As he repeated the useless thought, cold seeped through his back. He rubbed his face with icy hands and squeezed his burning eyes shut. Footsteps echoed along the long hospital corridor. As the room numbers increased, the pauses between his steps grew longer. From the moment he woke and called a taxi to the moment he arrived, he must have reconsidered dozens of times. Couldn’t I just send the money? Do I really have to visit?

 

Yet his feet finally stopped before the name Kwon Seok-myeong. He stood one pace from a sliding door with frosted glass at eye level. After hesitating, he gripped the handle. Its coolness seeped into his palm, but he could not bring himself to push it open. Biting his lip, he looked down at his shoes. The liver cancer patients he had found online looked ravaged by illness. He could not picture his father among them. His father had been so strong that I-hyeon had never imagined their first meeting in eight years would take place in a hospital.

 

His father was on the other side of this thin door. The thought alone seemed to stop his breath. If he opened it, would he find a cold face? Or would something be hurled at him in a blaze of anger? Perhaps he should leave now. Sending money ought to be enough to fulfil his role as a son.

 

“Are you… I-hyeon…?”

 

A cautious voice sounded behind him. At its familiarity, his stomach tightened. He swallowed and slowly turned.

 

“Good heavens. It is you. Oh, I-hyeon…”

 

His mother stood with her eyes wide open and a hand over her mouth. Apart from a few more wrinkles, she looked little different from the last time he had seen her. Yet she felt more unfamiliar than a stranger.

 

“How could you stay away without showing your face even once? Were you waiting to hear your mother and father had died before you came? Hmm? Why only now?”

 

She hurried towards him with open arms. Her embrace and the reproachful pats on his back felt awkward. Bent slightly towards her, he froze.

 

“No. You’ve come, and that’s what matters. Well done for coming, I-hyeon. Thank you. You must be busy…”

 

Gentle and soft-hearted, she lightly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. They looked ready to overflow. She drew back from the embrace and examined him, her eyes red. Unable to meet her gaze, he stared at the floor and nodded awkwardly. After asking whether he was ill and whether he had eaten, she finally seemed to settle. Stroking his shoulder, she spoke as though suddenly remembering.

 

“Oh, what am I doing? Let’s go inside and talk. When did you get here? Were you just coming out from seeing your father?”

 

“…No. I’ve only just arrived.”

 

“It’s cold in the corridor. Come in.”

 

Instead of answering, I-hyeon ran his tongue along the inside of his mouth and slowly raised his hand. He clenched it once in front of the door, then knocked lightly. Knock, knock… knock.

 

“It’s all right. There’s no need for that. Just go in.”

 

The door slid open before he could prepare himself, revealing a fairly spacious hospital room. Someone sat propped up in a bed in front of a window, his head lowered, apparently reading. He did not move. I-hyeon stopped. His mother went in first and approached the bed. Gently touching her husband’s shoulder, she adjusted the wall controls with practised movements.

 

“Darling, I-hyeon’s here. I-hyeon, don’t stand there. Come and sit.”

 

His father remained still. I-hyeon bit his dry lip and slowly moved forwards. Stopping about three paces from the bed, he bowed towards his father, whose face remained lowered to the book.

 

“…Hello.”

 

He knew it was an awkward way to greet a parent, but nothing else came to mind. Once he had spoken, he could only stare at the bed rail. There was no reply. His mother broke the heavy silence first. She smiled awkwardly at I-hyeon, then spoke softly to her husband, almost pleading.

 

“Darling, put the Bible down for a moment. I’ll ask the deaconess and the others to come a little later. Hmm? I-hyeon’s here. At least talk to him.”

 

Her voice sounded earnest. His father gave no answer. She bit her lip and looked reproachfully at her husband before turning back to I-hyeon.

 

“Come and sit down, dear. Don’t just stand there.”

 

“He won’t be sitting.”

 

“Darling…!”

 

His father’s firm voice cut across her plea. I-hyeon’s gaze, which had been wandering over the bed and its surroundings to avoid the man himself, slowly rose. Their eyes met.

 

“I said there’s no need to sit.”

 

Illness had hollowed his eyes, but their sharpness was exactly as I-hyeon remembered. Perhaps sharper. In that brief meeting of gazes, one thought flooded his mind. I shouldn’t have come. Only upon seeing those cold eyes did he truly understand that even a potentially fatal illness would not make his father welcome him.

 

“Darling, don’t be like that. It’s been so long since I-hyeon came. Look at your son.”

 

“I have no son like that. I don’t need him. Tell him to get out.”

 

“I-hyeon, come and sit. Your father doesn’t mean it, hmm?”

 

His mother smiled awkwardly, trying to mediate. It did nothing to change the atmosphere. I-hyeon stood as though nailed to the spot. Lowering his eyes to his feet, he moved his lips several times before managing a question.

 

“Are you feeling any better?”

 

His voice rose uncertainly at the end. Silence followed. His father merely turned a page of the Bible as though he had heard nothing. The IV tubing at his exposed wrist swayed with the movement. I-hyeon had not expected a warm welcome. Even so, being treated as though he did not exist left a bitter taste. If asked what response he had expected, he would have had no answer. But he had certainly not gone to Gu Seung-hyuk hoping for this.

 

Why did I borrow money to come here? Was I trying to play the dutiful son now? He lowered his head and fidgeted with his fingers. As the uncomfortable silence continued, his mother spoke soothingly.

 

“He’s improved a great deal with chemotherapy. The doctor says he could recover completely if things continue like this.”

 

“And thank goodness God has brought you back to your family. Isn’t it lovely seeing each other after so long?”

 

She touched his wrist and palm again. Her hands were soft and wrinkled, but they felt unfamiliar. He closed his fist and drew his arm back slightly. A wounded look crossed her face before she quickly moved her hand to his shoulder.

 

“Sit down, I-hyeon. Would you like something to drink? Shall I peel some fruit?”

 

“Why are you here? Did hearing your father was in hospital with a fatal illness make you curious?”

 

“Darling!”

 

A thin page rustled as his father finally spoke. His gaze remained on the Bible in his lap. I-hyeon raised his head and looked at his profile.

 

“I asked why you came, if you’re only going to stand there with your mouth shut.”

 

“I-hyeon, come and sit beside your father, hmm?”

 

His mother gently tugged at his thin back. He did not move. It was not a deliberate decision. His entire body simply refused to go any closer. His father’s gaze sharpened further at his refusal. Looking down to escape it, I-hyeon swallowed a sigh. I really shouldn’t have come.

 

“Mother asked me for something. I came because of that.”

 

“Now that I’ve seen you, I’ll go.”

 

Would this have felt less uncomfortable if he could at least feel a little guilt for not visiting before his father became so ill? He felt strange for feeling so little, even at the sight of his father’s obvious sickness. Blinking slowly, he lifted his gaze from the bed's wheels and bowed.

 

“Please take care with your treatment, and stay—”

 

“You. Are you still seeing men?”

 

His half-lowered head stopped. Slowly, he straightened. His mother looked startled too. In an atmosphere as precarious as thin ice, I-hyeon slowly raised his eyes. His father had turned from the Bible and was staring coldly at his neck. Only then did I-hyeon remember the marks left by the nameless man the night before. He pulled up the neck of his jumper. Too late. His father’s face had already twisted with disgust. He tried to remind himself that he had done nothing wrong. Yet his heart began hammering as though someone had suddenly shouted behind him.

 

“If God loved me, He would never have given me a son like you.”

 

“Get out. I don’t even want to see your face.”

 

A tingling sensation spread from the fingertips at his neck. I-hyeon clenched his hand, lowered it and stepped back. His mother approached anxiously and examined his face. It was as pale and expressionless as a doll’s. Only his bitten lips had turned white.

 

“Please… have your treatment… and stay…”

 

He tried to finish his earlier sentence, but his throat closed around the words. He was not weak enough to be hurt by something as trivial as this. It must simply be the shock. Clenching his teeth, he bowed in place of finishing the sentence. He turned towards the door without hesitation. Voices in the corridor grew closer. Just as he reached for the handle, a light knock came, and the door slid open.

 

“Pastor, we’re—Oh!”

 

A middle-aged woman, smiling as she entered, started at the sight of I-hyeon directly in front of her and stepped back. He bowed apologetically and tried to leave. The group blocking the doorway did not move.

 

“Ah… Deaconess Kim. You’re here…”

 

“Oh, I didn’t realise you had a visitor. Would it be better if we came back later?”

 

Her tone was slightly exaggerated. Neither parent answered immediately, making the atmosphere stranger. Only when embarrassment appeared on the visitor’s face did I-hyeon’s mother respond.

 

“No, not at all. This is I-hyeon, our youngest son. I-hyeon, say hello. They’re from your father’s church.”

 

All he wanted was to leave. Suddenly, he had to face church visitors and introduce himself. He felt so uncomfortable and flustered that he struggled to control his expression.

 

“Ah, the…”

 

But when he raised his head, their faces were more awkwardly frozen than his own. They exchanged meaningful glances. They all knew. Of course. Few rumours would travel more readily than the news that the pastor’s son was gay. Curiosity, pity and disgust tangled in the gazes that stabbed at him. He had done nothing wrong. Still, his head kept lowering.

 

Someone whispered at the back of the group. Then, as though trying to dispel the discomfort, the woman at the front spoke with forced brightness. She lightly patted his shoulder and smiled.

 

“My goodness, just as handsome as you’d expect from Pastor Kwon’s son. I think he’s prettier than my daughter.”

 

“Isn’t he? Such long eyelashes for a man. You must be pleased, Mrs Kwon.”

 

They exchanged smiles and comments with I-hyeon standing in front of them. He could only bite his lower lip. Fatigue pressed down on his entire body until even standing felt difficult. Only after letting out a rising sigh could he draw another breath.

 

“…I’ll go first, Mother. I’ve sent what you asked for. Please check your account.”

 

Clenching his fists, he finally slipped between the visitors and hurried away like someone fleeing. His only aim was to put distance between himself and his father’s room.

 

“I-hyeon, wait…! Just a moment!”

 

He had almost left the ward when a hand caught his arm. He flinched and turned. His mother stood there, breathless.

 

“Hah… Is it because your legs are so long…? Why do you walk so quickly…?”

 

He could not bring himself to shake off the hands gently holding his wrists. Torn between the desperate need to leave and his complicated feelings towards her, he relaxed his body and stepped back. Heat boiled in his stomach and beneath his breastbone. Closing his eyes, he steadied his breathing.

 

“I-hyeon, I know things must be difficult for you too. Thank you for coming all this way and helping with the hospital bills… You haven’t pushed yourself too hard, have you? You’re all right?”

 

Standing here felt harder than standing before Gu Seung-hyuk to ask for money. Nobody had shouted. Nobody had slapped him. Yet his whole body felt as though it had been slashed with knives. Was invisible blood dripping from his arms, legs and torso, pooling at his feet? Could anyone really call this all right?

 

“I need to go. Just check that the money’s arrived.”

 

“You’ve come all this way. Have a meal with us before you leave, hmm? Your sister’s nearby. She says she’ll be here soon.”

 

“I’m sorry. I have something else afterwards…”

 

He had nothing scheduled until evening. In fact, there was an awkward gap before his bus, and he would have to sit somewhere and wait. But looking at his mother brought back his father. And eight years ago. The heat inside him kept rising. He did not want her to see it spill out as tears. Unable to control his expression, he lowered his head and offered an awkward goodbye. As he tried to move around her, she urgently caught his arm with both hands.

 

“I-hyeon, just a moment. Let Mum pray for you.”

 

Her grip was not particularly strong. Even so, it felt as though shackles had closed around his whole body. Pressure beneath his breastbone made it difficult to speak. He could not ask her to let go. His lips only moved soundlessly. She lowered her arms and took both his hands. Her deeply creased eyelids slowly closed. A quiet but firm voice emerged.

 

“Our Father in Heaven… Thank you for returning our precious son I-hyeon to the embrace of his family.”

 

My real father, the one who brought me into this world, denied my existence. I don’t know how great this Father in Heaven is, but I doubt He’s great enough to embrace a child someone else threw away.

 

“Please keep Your child from yielding any longer to Satan’s temptations. Guide him along the righteous path, that he may find peace in the Lord’s embrace. Protect our I-hyeon from the deceitful schemes of devils.”

 

Right to the end… At the murmured prayer, a resigned, hollow laugh escaped him. In the end, neither his mother nor his father accepted him. A child of Satan born to a pastor and a devout Protestant. How ridiculous. As she quietly said amen, he looked up at the painfully blue sky.

 

After separating himself from his mother, who seemed ready to pray endlessly, I-hyeon found the smoking area in a corner of the hospital grounds. It seemed easier to breathe there than inside. He sat on a hard bench and put a cigarette between his lips. Leaning back and tilting his head, he found the sunlight dazzling. Across his whitened vision, the pattern of his father’s hospital clothes and the wrinkles on his mother’s hands kept flickering. He closed his eyes and concentrated only on exhaling smoke, trying not to think.

 

He had thought the days of being wounded by this sort of thing were behind him. Yet his chest had been pricking painfully for some time. If the heavy weight pressing beneath his breastbone lifted, he felt something might spill out. He forced his mind blank.

 

“Oh, Young-ji’s mum. Have you arrived already?”

 

By the time cigarette ends had accumulated at his feet and his trainers felt stiff with cold, someone sat beside him while talking on the phone. A middle-aged woman’s voice settled near him. Then came the click of a lighter.

 

“Really? That happened? Oh dear, how did it come to that…? Heaven can be so cruel.”

 

Her words, muffled around a cigarette, kept reaching his ears. He began thinking he should get up and go somewhere. Anywhere. Opening his eyes, he looked up at the clear blue expanse of sky.

 

“Good heavens… Pastor Kwon always talks about his daughter, so I never knew he had a son. But hearing that, I can understand. A man liking other men? How could he talk about something so shameful? Have they tried sending him to a psychiatric hospital? Apparently, there are places that cure that sort of thing nowadays.”

 

The woman was absorbed in her call. She did not glance at I-hyeon once.

 

“Satan has taken root in his heart to defy Scripture. The pastor must have suffered terribly… Eight years? Oh, Heavenly Father…”

 

I-hyeon blinked slowly and watched the clouds drift. Whether by coincidence or revelation, the approaching cloud resembled a cross.

 

“Homosexuality is the sin God hates most. They’ll only learn when they fall into hellfire. To think those people cursed by Satan are mingling among ordinary people…”

 

She went on and on, never realising that the Satan she described was sitting beside her. I-hyeon gave a breathy laugh and slowly stood. Looking up at the sky one last time, he exhaled. With no money due to come into his account any time soon, he ought to find weekend work. He had no motivation. He was already spending daylight hours trying to lure a man. Would night be any different?

 

Perhaps it was because he had spent so long in the cold, but his body shivered. His craving for alcohol must simply be because the weather was too cold to endure sober. He dropped the cigarette stub and ground it out. If they disliked him mingling with ordinary people, perhaps he ought to disappear from their midst as requested. Whether by chance or fate, a bar he had frequented in his early twenties lay nearby. He had not been there for some time. Perhaps suddenly remembering it really did mean Satan was tempting him, just as everyone said. Laughing hollowly to himself, I-hyeon began walking unsteadily.

 

The entrance leading down to the bar had barely changed. He had worried it might still be closed at this hour, but the glass door opened easily. Without looking around, he went straight to the counter and took a seat at the end. Curious gazes followed him through the dim room. As he sat looking at the grain of the wooden counter, the bartender placed a coaster and menu before him. I-hyeon named a whisky without opening it.

 

“On the rocks?”

 

“Neat. A shot, please.”

 

His stomach had been unsettled, and he had barely eaten. But at this moment, remaining sober was difficult. Wanting to forget everything and get drunk, he emptied the small glass in one swallow. His throat felt as though it were burning.

 

“Another of the same, please.”

 

He lifted the freshly filled glass. Closing his eyes tightly, he swallowed without even noticing the taste. Only then did the burning around his eyes seem to move down into his throat. He set the glass down, folded his arms on the counter and rested his head on them. As he drank with his head lowered, the alcohol quickly took effect. If only it had merely warmed his stomach. Instead, his nose kept stinging.

 

The bartender, who had been watching him, placed a small dish of cheese and fruit nearby with a concerned expression. I-hyeon bowed his head in thanks and bumped his forehead against the counter. Then he remained there, blinking. At such close range, the wood grain blurred into a confusing pattern. His eyes grew hot. What had he done that was so wrong? Why did he deserve this treatment? Once he allowed himself to think it, hurt rose uncontrollably. His shoulders trembled as he held back tears.

 

Then he felt someone sit beside him. Closing his eyes tightly, he steadied his breathing and raised his head. He had become an expert at convincing himself that nothing was wrong. Under the yellow light, his face looked much as usual, apart from the slight redness around his eyes. He turned.

 

“Wow. Fancy seeing you here. At this point, it must be fate.”

 

“I put my business card in your pocket so you could call. Didn’t you see it?”

 

The man pulled his stool closer and settled in. It was the man who had drugged and assaulted him only the day before. Encountering such a shitty person in such a shitty situation left I-hyeon more incredulous than angry. Life truly did not seem to be on his side. Ignoring him, I-hyeon called the bartender and ordered another drink.

 

“You’ve had quite a bit, sir. Are you sure you’re all right?”

 

“…This much is fine. Please.”

 

His voice was slightly husky, but the words were clear and unslurred. The bartender seemed reassured. I-hyeon knew how irritating it was to deal with a customer drunk out of their mind. He did not intend to go that far. He only needed enough to forget the knot of hurt in his stomach. He lifted the glass and drained it without stopping.

 

“Wow. You can drink. Have some water and slow down. You didn’t even seem to notice me watching you earlier.”

 

“I won’t drink anything you give me.”

 

“Oh, come on. Yesterday was a mistake. I was a little drunk too. Did you get home all right? I didn’t know they were suddenly going to call the police.”

 

As though apologising, the man slowly stroked the back of his hand. I-hyeon disliked the touch. He did not pull away. He was a filthy gay bastard anyway. It was not as though being touched would wear him out. Why act precious now?

 

“Isn’t it strange, trying to sleep with men when you’re not gay?”

 

“Not really. It’s just sex with a different hole. Does being gay or not really matter?”

 

“Then call me gay too. Oh, would that be bi instead?”

 

The man moved closer and spoke suggestively.

 

“I’m sorry I behaved badly yesterday, hyung. To make up for it, come out with me today.”

 

It was strange—and enviable—how casually he dismissed something I-hyeon’s parents could not accept even after sharing their lives with him for so long. Turning his head, I-hyeon found the man watching him with undisguised desire. Superimposed over it, he saw his father’s cold gaze. Suddenly, it felt as though insects were crawling over his skin. Without realising it, he scratched at his clothes. He ignored the continued murmuring in his ear and turned his glass in his hands.

 

Then he saw a suited manager hurry out from the back of the bar. Following the movement without thinking, he saw him bow at ninety degrees to someone. Through eyes faintly blurred by alcohol, I-hyeon stared. Perhaps noticing, the man turned towards him. That familiar, expressionless mouth. Those cold eyes. The moment their gazes met, dismay swept over him. I-hyeon bit his lower lip. The well-shaped brows drew together, and the mouth twisted.

 

“Every time I see you, you’re with someone different.”

 

“Is that a queer thing? Or are you simply easy?”

 

In a black blazer, Gu Seung-hyuk looked as though he had merely dropped in. I-hyeon tensed briefly at the unexpected encounter. Then, for some reason, Seung-hyuk’s entirely predictable reaction made him laugh quietly. At least Seung-hyuk did not pretend to be virtuous in front of him. At least he did not give him stale lectures about homosexuality and sin. Still, that was beside the point.

 

“…Isn’t it none of your business?”

 

“How did you find me? Are you having me watched?”

 

The words slipped out before he could think, his lips moving a little slowly with drink. Seung-hyuk let out a disbelieving laugh.

 

“What a charming drunk you are.”

 

He looked down at I-hyeon and the man beside him without emotion. Then he turned towards the manager inside the bar.

 

“What happened to the last lot I gave you?”

 

“All distributed, boss.”

 

The man sounded tense as he answered quietly. Seung-hyuk took a small piece of paper resembling a sticker from his inner pocket and handed it over.

 

“Check the recipient properly when you send your letters. Don’t turn it into a bigger problem like last time.”

 

“Yes. Understood.”

 

I-hyeon had seen similar exchanges while working at Nexus. Nobody had explained the details, but he knew that thin paper was some kind of drug. Ah. He’s here for work. Having finished, Seung-hyuk met I-hyeon’s lingering gaze and smiled lazily.

 

“I-hyeon. You only have someone watch you when they’re worth watching.”

 

“I already know you’re happy to spread yourself around. Why would I bother?”

 

It was the same mockery as always. Today, it felt as though it dug into his chest. I-hyeon lowered his eyes and let out an empty laugh. Something about it made Seung-hyuk lift an eyebrow. The insects crawling over his skin seemed to move more violently. Without a word, I-hyeon drank from the glass before him and scratched hard at his left wrist. The man beside him finally caught his hand.

 

“Why do you keep scratching—”

 

He did not finish. His lips moved soundlessly. I-hyeon’s exposed wrist was a mess. Beneath the skin swollen red by his nails lay pale, straight scars that looked old. In an instant, his upturned arm was pulled sideways. Before the other man could even react, Seung-hyuk had seized it and was looking down at his wrist with a frown. Those scars had not been there the last time he had seen him, years ago. His gaze sharpened abruptly.

 

“Did you do that to yourself?”

 

I-hyeon almost found it funny that a man who must have witnessed far worse should become so sensitive over a few scars. And besides— Why do you care? With a bitter smile, he twisted his wrist free.

 

“If you came on business, get on with it.”

 

“Don’t waste your concern on some queer’s wrist.”

 

Repeating Seung-hyuk’s own language, he spoke without expression. He pulled down his sleeve and turned away. His Adam’s apple shifted as he lifted the glass and drained it. Seung-hyuk stared at him. Then he clenched his teeth until the muscles in his jaw stood out and turned towards the entrance. The manager patted the bartender’s shoulder and returned to the back.

 

The scene resumed exactly as it had been ten minutes earlier. Resting his forehead on the counter again, I-hyeon endured the spinning world. Fucking hell. Since accepting that he was different, life had never been easy. But it had rarely felt as miserable as it did now. He had thought himself accustomed to contempt. Today, brushing it aside was unusually difficult.

 

Was it because his parents denied his existence even while illness brought death closer? Because the bastard beside him had tried to drug and rape him, then brazenly shown his face again? Or because Gu Seung-hyuk never bothered hiding his disgust whenever they met? No. Perhaps this was punishment for having once stood by as countless insults and accusations rained down, treating them as though they had nothing to do with him.

 

Ah… I can’t take this. I-hyeon stood abruptly. He swayed, and the man beside him reached to steady him. Shaking him off, I-hyeon staggered towards the toilets. Bracing himself against the basin, he turned on the tap and splashed his face repeatedly. The hurt packed into his stomach rose through his chest and throat and spilt out as tears.

 

“Ah…”

 

He tried to hide his face behind the cold water. The overflowing feelings would not be contained. Still gripping the basin, he stood with tears falling. Then he heard someone enter. He hurriedly wiped his face and tried to move aside. Before he could, hands seized his arms and collar, slamming his back against the wall.

 

“…Ah.”

 

The face above him was familiar. The man who had been sitting beside him.

 

“Fuck… Has something happened today? I wasn’t going to take it this far, but seeing you cry is fucking turning me on.”

 

Holding I-hyeon’s arms painfully, he lowered his head to his neck. The wet tongue passing over his skin felt oddly distant, as though there were another layer between them. Still trying to contain his tears, I-hyeon tipped his head back and struggled with arms that would not obey him. The man pressed them harder against the wall. His mouth moved downwards. Apparently irritated by the loose jumper, he pushed it up and assaulted the exposed skin beneath.

 

“You made such a fuss yesterday. Much sweeter today.”

 

“…Stop.”

 

“Stop what? Fuck… I’m already about to burst.”

 

Being treated like this in a bar toilet made I-hyeon feel like rubbish. Yet twisting his body and weakly telling him not to were all the resistance he could manage. Well. His life was already rubbish. What difference did it make whether he was used here or in a bed? Even so, he kept struggling and turning his head away. The man merely laughed, as though watching a child play, and continued to touch him. Click. Click.

 

The handle of the locked door began moving while the man pressed himself against I-hyeon. Half resigned to being unable to escape, I-hyeon slowly opened his eyes. Someone kept trying the door. The man ignored it. This is going to go all the way.

 

Of all the things he might have imagined, being forced into this in a bar toilet by a man he had seen only twice had never been one of them. A self-mocking laugh was just escaping his thin lips when the door crashed open. Someone entered. Someone he had not expected.

 

“Who the fuck—?”

 

A sharp gaze swept over I-hyeon’s half-pushed-up top, the red marks on his skin, and the hands trying to push his attacker away. It lingered briefly on his exposed chest. Even that detail seemed to provoke another ugly, contemptuous thought in Seung-hyuk. Then his eyes reached I-hyeon’s reddened ones. His mouth curled coldly.

 

“You’re making it fucking impossible to ignore you.”

 

Of all people, it had to be Gu Seung-hyuk to see him like this. I-hyeon almost sighed. The thought of more insults about gays and queers was already enough to make his head ache. As he lowered his eyes, Seung-hyuk strode forwards, caught the other man’s shoulder and turned him. His fist struck before the man could find his balance. The man hit the floor after a single blow. Clutching his cheek, he stared up in shock.

 

“Wh-what the fuck…?”

 

“I don’t care what gay bastards do with each other…”

 

Another blow.

 

“But doing it in someone else’s establishment is a bit of a problem.”

 

Another. Fear deepened in the man’s eyes with every punch. One split his lip. The next brought blood from his nose. Overwhelmed by the sudden violence, he lay on his back and struggled. Seung-hyuk seized his collar and hauled him up. He could not control the inexplicable anger boiling inside him. He raised his fist to strike again.

 

A faint tug pulled at him. Turning, he found I-hyeon beside him, his face pale. Unable to bring himself to grab Seung-hyuk’s arm, he was weakly pulling at the hem of his shirt. His reaction seemed too extreme for merely witnessing a beating.

 

“…Stop.”

 

At the small, trembling word, Seung-hyuk stopped dead. The strength left his fist. The other man seized his chance, wrenched free of the hand on his collar and crawled across the floor. Seung-hyuk let him go. He looked down at the hand holding his shirt. It was not a large hand. It had gone white.

 

“…Don’t.”

 

Realising the punches had stopped, the man fled the toilets. Seung-hyuk paid no attention. He watched I-hyeon instead. His disordered clothes. His red eyes. The faint flush of alcohol extending down his neck. Something stirred hotly inside Seung-hyuk.

 

“Is that how you spoke to him too?”

 

“If you say it like that, how’s it supposed to sound like anything other than an invitation?”

 

He did not understand his own anger. But the sight of I-hyeon, drained and frightened, made it burn hotter. When he glared, teeth clenched, I-hyeon let out a weak, breathy sound. Perhaps he had foreseen this ending when the man responsible for his nightmarish morning had shamelessly sat beside him. Perhaps he had allowed the man to speak to him as though he had done nothing wrong because he wanted proof that someone wanted him, even in that way.

 

“That was what I meant.”

 

“…What?”

 

Seeing someone desire him seemed to mean that, even if he could not be loved simply for existing, he was at least worth spending one night with.

 

“Gu Seung-hyuk. Do you want to sleep with me too?”

 

The moment the words left him, his face still lowered, Seung-hyuk’s expression twisted. As though driving the point home, I-hyeon murmured:

 

“Everyone says they like it.”

 

The incredulity in Seung-hyuk’s face gradually hardened into something fierce. He stared at I-hyeon and ground out the words.

 

“Have you lost your fucking mind?”

 

It was exactly the response I-hyeon had expected. A small, bitter smile escaped him. He released the shirt, straightened his clothes with unsteady hands, and lowered his gaze to a point on the floor.

 

“Do I look that way to you too?”

 

Seung-hyuk disliked this strange compliance. I-hyeon was not standing up to him fearlessly as he normally did. Clenching his molars, he spoke quietly.

 

“If you’re drunk, go home and sleep.”

 

I-hyeon gave another smile that somehow made Seung-hyuk feel worse. He wiped at eyes that were no longer wet, then stumbled past him towards the door. Watching the precarious figure in the mirror, Seung-hyuk clenched his fist. A strange thought crossed his mind. If he touched I-hyeon now, he might disappear. And in that moment, all Seung-hyuk could do was stand still and watch the door close.

 

Continued in Volume 2.