West: The Sun From Another Star

I woke up with difficulty, still feeling the effects of alcohol. The last image in my memory was of Jo mercilessly throwing me to the floor. I glanced around and realised I was in a rather strange room. The air was freezing cold. Hearing some movement, I turned and saw the short guy lying on the bed not far away. Ah, it must be because I lost my key card again and ended up in this short guy's room. So that's it. Hey, it's just me and him on this floor. Min isn't here. I'm no help at all.

 

The dim light around me indicated it wasn't yet daylight. I propped myself up from the floor and went to the bathroom to take care of personal matters. When I came out, I realised the room was really cold. Was this short guy sensitive to heat or something that he'd turned the air conditioner down so low? If it was this cold, at least there should have been a blanket for me, instead of leaving me lying stiff on the floor like that.

 

I wanted to stay on the sofa, but it was too cold, and I didn't have a blanket. The bed was big enough; why couldn't I sleep in it?

 

I went and sat in the empty space on the bed, trying not to wake the landlord, because otherwise I'd be kicked out onto the floor or onto the sofa. But even if I were kicked out, I wasn't going anywhere. I glanced at the person curled up on the bed. Hey, you're cold too. Why don't you turn down the air conditioner?

 

I lay down on the bed, trying to grab the blanket, but it was really difficult because this little guy was holding onto it so tightly. It took me a while to get it. Strangely, I struggled with the blanket for so long, and he still didn't wake up, but oh well, I had already taken his blanket and gotten on the bed without permission. If he woke up, he'd probably just complain and make a displeased face, not yell, because he's not the type to make a fuss.

 

This is probably the first time I've ever shared a bed with someone else. As far as I remember, I've never shared a bed with Direk or my mom. If I've shared a bed with someone, it's usually just for sex, and then we separate; I've never stayed overnight. This guy's also a first time in many things, right?

 

First love

That's always the case.

Damn… when you're drunk, you start daydreaming. Even though my head was still spinning, I didn't want to sleep; I don't know why. But lying there watching it sleep wasn't so bad.

 

Unfortunately, he’s lying on his side, facing a different direction, but the distance isn't too great. It's not so far beyond my reach.

 

After a while, I noticed the person next to me was breathing heavily, suspiciously rapidly. I reached out and touched them, and found their body was burning hot. Perhaps this was why they were clutching the blanket so tightly—they weren't feeling well. And yet I had taken the blanket from a sick person.

 

I got up to lower the air conditioner temperature to make the room warmer, turned on the lights, and looked for fever medicine, but couldn't find any. I wondered why someone who knew I was just a weakling wouldn't have any medicine in the room; I heard he was often sick.

 

Looking at the short guy lying on the bed, gasping for breath, his face flushed red from head to toe, and seemingly in pain, hugging himself tightly, I felt uneasy. He was sick, probably from returning from abroad. Whatever the reason, never mind, the problem is, what should we do now? Should I take him to the hospital? No, my car is at the pub. I have another car, but the keys are in my room, and I've lost my room key card. Now the only car I have left is at the pub.

 

There's probably no need to go to the hospital; it looks like just a common fever. Rest will probably be better. I'll go get some wet wipes to clean him. Since it's already feeling fine, I might as well take this opportunity to "do something naughty." Just kidding, it's just wiping someone down. Even sick people need to be cleaned, right?

 

I pulled back the blanket, placed the towel on his neck, and wiped as gently as possible. While doing so, I wondered why I was doing this. Once I finished wiping his neck, I moved on to other areas, pulling up his t-shirt and using the towel to wipe his stomach.

…That's definitely the short kid.

It's really white...

.….

Never mind, I'm not wiping anymore! Why is he so pale? No, being pale isn't unusual, but why do I find his stomach and waist so alluring? Damn, I just want to grab and squeeze them. That waist is so perfectly sized, it's maddeningly seductive.

 

I quickly pulled his shirt down before my thoughts went too far, placed a towel on his forehead, and turned off the light. Then I went back to bed, lay on my side with my back to him, and tried to stay calm.

 

Honestly, no one has ever confused me this much. He's just a short, ordinary-looking kid. Or maybe… It's because I like him that I'm acting like this?

 

While I was struggling with the chaotic thoughts in my head, I suddenly felt something touch my back. Turning around, I saw it had moved closer, and its hand gently touched me.

 

Damned.

We're too close!!

 

As I leaned to one side, the distance between us narrowed. Its face, peacefully asleep with its eyes closed, left me at a loss. The towel I had just placed there had fallen, casting a faint light on its flushed face. Its warm breaths were rhythmic, and its whole body was curled up, trembling slightly, probably from the cold.

 

Oh my God, I'm going crazy!

You're cold, aren't you? Very cold, right?

 

Okay! I'll hug you tonight to keep you warm!!

I reached out and pulled him into my arms, offering my other arm for him to lean on, then wrapped my other arm around his head and gently stroked it. My arm held him tightly around the waist.

 

Damn, it's as small as a kitten; it looks as if I held it any tighter, it would be crushed in my arms. But on the other hand, I also want to hold it tightly.

 

The heat from the other person's body made me feel hot too, but I was sure I couldn't catch a cold. After a while, the person in my arms stopped trembling; perhaps they had warmed up. But I'm the one who's not okay; how am I supposed to sleep in this state, oh my God!

 

I sighed, hoping to calm myself down. I had to remind myself that when you're not feeling well, you shouldn't worry. Besides, you'll have to give it up anyway. Yeah, normally I wouldn't hug you, but it's just that you're not feeling well.

 

The subtle, pleasant scent wafted up to my nose, just like when I was on an aeroplane. It was really soothing. It's definitely not the smell of shampoo; it's probably more like this product's scent. And it really smells amazing, incredibly good! Why? I've never smelled any fragrance on anyone before, unless they wear perfume. But this kid doesn't wear perfume, so why does he smell so good?

 

It was a gentle scent, strangely pleasant to smell, so much so that I thought if I could smell it every night, I would surely sleep very well.

 

I absentmindedly brought my nose to the neck of the person in front of me after smelling that scent, and I realised that their neck smelled even better. After smelling it, I just wanted to bite them whole. Why did they smell so good?

I can't take it anymore!

Just bite it!

 

I, having lost my patience and unable to control myself, sank my teeth into the area between his neck and shoulder. The sensation of biting into the soft skin only made me crave more…

 

Before I could restrain myself, I immediately pulled out. The reason I took a bite was that it tasted so good, really, really good! And the person I like was lying so close, who could resist?!

.….

I gently wiped away my teeth marks, but I noticed the area around them had started to redden. A little redness on such smooth, white skin wasn't so bad, was it? Thinking that it was my own doing made me feel much more satisfied.

 

I pulled his collar back on. A little while later, I drifted off to sleep without realising it, and tonight was another night of sound sleep for me.

.….

I opened my eyes as sunlight streamed through the window. I was slightly surprised to feel a weight on my arm, and when I looked down, I saw someone sleeping soundly in my embrace. Last night, because it wasn't feeling well, I held it while it slept.

 

His body was no longer feverish, indicating his condition had improved slightly. I slowly withdrew my hand and helped him sit up.

 

So this is what it's like to hug someone...

Also…

That's good, isn't it?

 

I sighed unconsciously, thinking I shouldn't have done it. Had I already decided to let go, hadn't I? Well, at least it was worth holding it all night. But maybe it would be better if I could do it more often. Yes, if every day were like this, it would be wonderful.

 

When it moved a little, its collar opened, and I saw the mark I'd left last night, feeling a bit strange. This morning, the red mark was even more prominent on its skin. Damn, did I take advantage of its unconscious state? But anyway, I don't feel guilty, never mind. It probably doesn't hurt much; the mark will go away in a few days.

 

I left the room and went downstairs to see Niti. Niti gave me a slightly displeased look before I received another key card. Back in my room, I remembered I had an early class today, so I hurried out.

.….

I'm back in that boring cycle again. My relationship with my father is better now, but the thought of dropping out of school is stronger than before. However, I'm still hesitant because I've come this far in my education and don't want to start over. Maybe it's better not to go to university? I could find another job.

 

"So, are you drunk?" Jo asked while we were resting.

 

"No, that's really strange." I found it odd that I wasn't feeling drunk despite having drunk so much last night.

 

"So what happened? Did you sleep in that room?"

 

"Damn it."

 

I gently ran my hand through my hair; it was just Jo and me now, as Hill and Fah were in another department.

 

"Jo wants to ask you something."

 

"Again?"

 

"Have you ever thought about how good a person can smell?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Your wife? I really shouldn't have asked." I sighed a little, "Why does he smell so good, even though he’s just a human being?"

 

"Because you like them, you like their scent too," Jo replied dejectedly. "Letting go? Are you serious?" He raised his eyebrows as if mocking me. I pouted at him.

 

"I'm telling the truth."

 

"A truthful person wouldn't embrace someone they'd let go of." Its words made me stop in my tracks.

 

"Damn it, how do you know that?"

 

"I was just guessing," Jo said, looking surprised. "Is that really true?"

 

“…Yeah.” I replied briefly, and the person sitting next to me immediately burst out laughing, “He was not feeling well, he’s cold so he’s hugging me.”

 

"Ah, so that's how it is~"

 

"Jo, you bastard!" I couldn't help but curse; he made such a hateful face.

 

"Hey, Hill."

"What?"

“Hill once told me not to approach anyone with half-hearted feelings. Whether you like someone or not, you have to be clear. Please let your words and actions align. Really, Thit, you know that, right?” Jo's words made me unconsciously run my hand through my hair and let out a deep sigh.

 

"Yeah."

 

"Have you told Fah that you're going to let go?"

 

"Not yet," I shook my head. "I haven't had time to say."

 

"Do you have anything else to say?"

 

"Damn it, I really want to give up."

 

"It seems like you don't want to do that. Besides hugging, what else do you do?"

 

"Guess."

 

"Did you sleep together?" the guy next to him asked with a deadpan expression.

"Pfft! Not a chance, it's not that bad!"

 

"Well, I thought it would be you; you probably wouldn't let it slide."

 

"That's terrible. What kind of person do you think I am? Just one bite."

 

"For what?"

 

"I don't know, I just couldn't resist saying it."

 

"Is this how people give up? Now I know that's how they do it."

"There, you always get in my way!" I complained, utterly frustrated.

"You're just so contradictory," Jo said, his face showing just as much frustration.

 

"This needs time," I argued again.

"Yeah, yeah, it's your business, you have a whole life to do it, no need to rush."

"Not necessarily a lifetime… maybe."

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

I stared at myself in the mirror for almost five minutes, unable to explain the bite mark on my shoulder, not knowing where or how it came from. I woke up around one in the afternoon, assuming I hadn't felt well last night because I still felt a little feverish and my head ached.

 

Last night, I remember being asleep when I heard a knock at the door. It was North and his boyfriend bringing the neighbour in, saying he'd lost his key card again and needed me to help. I let him sleep on the floor, and then I fell asleep again without paying him any more attention.

 

I vaguely remember my neighbour saying something about a doctor before I went to sleep, but because I was sleepy and probably had a headache from the fever, I don't remember the details clearly. Anyway, when I woke up, there was no one else in the room.

 

Last night, I had a rather strange dream. I dreamt I was in the middle of darkness, and it was freezing cold. I ran searching for a way out of that night and finally saw a white light. When that white light surrounded me, I felt warmth instantly.

 

After showering and getting dressed, I went outside and saw the towel on the bed. I clearly remember not leaving it there. When I picked it up, I realised it was slightly damp. If I'm not mistaken, the guy in the next room must have put it on my forehead last night.

 

I tossed the towel into the basket and got ready for school. Although I still had a slight headache, it was okay. While putting on my backpack, the strap rubbed against a bite mark on my shoulder, causing a sharp pain. What the heck was that? It looked like someone else's bite mark. I frowned, not very pleased.

 

"If you hurt me like you did last night again, I won't forgive you," I said to someone in the room. If it wasn't Mr Donut, who had left long ago, then it must be someone else who was here.

 

We've been together for so long; I don't understand why we'd want to hurt each other right now. Damn it, I can't even wear my backpack; it hurts so much. Don't let me find out who did this.

 

As I was leaving the room, I suddenly remembered something and immediately called her.

 

(Hello, it's Grandma.)

"Mrs Phuang Thong, your grandchild is being harmed by a ghost."

 

(What! A ghost in the room? Who did that? What did it do to you?) Mrs Phuang Thong's voice immediately changed, clearly showing signs of panic.

 

"I don't know who did it, but I was bitten on the neck; it hurt a lot, and there are teeth marks."

 

(That's terrifying. Did you do anything to make them angry?)

 

"No, I haven't been in the room for days. We used to get along so well."

 

(So ​​why is that?)

 

"Oh yes, it seems like I was haunted by a ghost while I was sleeping last night."

 

(Or are they angry because they weren't allowed to do good deeds? Let me do them for you. I'll tell them to rest assured, the ghost in the room that bit your neck is going to the temple.)

"Then I'll leave it to you, thank you very much."

 

(Okay, if anything happens, remember to let Grandma know, and be careful.)

 

"Yes."

 

I hung up without knowing whether her going to perform a charitable act and praying for the person who bit my neck would be effective. But if Mrs Phuang Thong said she would do it, then I certainly couldn't stop her.

 

I stood by the elevator. Soon after, the elevator arrived, and my neighbour from next door also got in. He seemed a little surprised to see me standing there.

 

"Oh, you're going to school?"

 

"YES."

 

"Are you feeling better? Are you completely cured?"

 

"Yeah, thanks," I said softly, looking up at him. He raised an eyebrow, seemingly surprised, so I explained further, "About the wet wipe."

 

"...Oh, yeah, I just put it on your forehead."

 

"YES."

 

"So, how are you getting there? By motorbike?"

 

"YES."

 

"Oh." That was all he replied. I stepped into the elevator, pressed the first floor button, and pressed the close button. As the elevator doors were closing, they opened again, indicating that the person outside had pressed the open button. I looked at him in surprise.

 

"Let me give you a ride. You've just recovered from a fever, you probably can't drive."

 

"It's OK."

 

"I'll take you there."

 

“…”

 

When he said that and stepped into the elevator, I didn't say anything more. There was only silence in the elevator. When something came to mind, I opened my mouth and asked.

 

"Was anything unusual last night?"

 

"Huh? What's so strange about that?"

 

"There's a bite mark on your neck."

“…”

 

“I’m wondering who did it,” I said, turning to look at the person next to me. He frowned, a strange expression on his face. What did that expression mean? “There were three of them, and I don’t know who they were or why they did it.”

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"There are three ghosts in the room, not counting Mr Donut who moved out. But the woman in the bathroom can't get out, so there must be two left."

 

"It's definitely one of those two."

 

"Hmm, didn't you hear or see anything?"

 

"I'm not sure, let me think about it."

 

"Hmm."

 

Then the elevator reached the first floor. He stepped out first, as usual, and headed towards the motorcycle parking area. At first, I thought it would be a car, but instead, he got on a large black motorcycle and handed me a helmet. I put on the helmet and awkwardly climbed onto the back of the bike. I had never ridden or sat on a large motorcycle before because I thought they were too big. Sitting on the back for the first time felt completely unfamiliar.

 

Suddenly, the bike sped off. I panicked so much that I clutched the shirt of the person in front of me. He was still a very scary driver, whether in a car or on a motorbike, and this motorbike didn't make me feel safe at all. Especially since it was my neighbour, it made me feel like I could fall off at any moment. In my panic, I unconsciously tightened my grip on his shirt.

 

"Where did you study?" he shouted amidst the strong wind.

 

"Science."

 

"What?" Perhaps the wind was too strong for him to hear what I said. I had to speak louder.

 

"Science!"

 

"Speak a little louder, or come closer and whisper in my ear!"

 

Hearing that, I moved closer until I was touching his back, and I tried to lift my head to speak more closely.

 

"I'm studying in the science department."

 

"Okay, alright," he replied, then continued driving. I didn't dare back up, so I stayed close to him until the car stopped in front of the science department. I slowly and awkwardly got off the bike, just as I had gotten on.

 

"Are you really scared? You didn't seem scared when you were driving the car."

 

"Just a little bit, because I've never sat on the back before."

 

"Really?"

 

"Hmm."

 

"Never ridden on the back of a large motorcycle or someone else's motorbike before?"

 

"High-powered motorcycles."

 

"Ah." He nodded slightly. Then, seeing that I couldn't take off my helmet, he reached out to help me. Soon, I managed to take it off, and he pulled it off for me.

 

"Thank you."

 

"Okay, what time does school end?"

 

"5 o'clock."

 

"Then wait here."

 

"Will you come to pick me up?"

 

"Yeah, of course. If I drop you off and don't pick you up, how are you supposed to get home?"

 

"Walking is also fine."

 

"Are you kidding? Just wait here."

 

"Yeah, thank you for giving me a ride," I said in my usual calm tone. He seemed a little disappointed to hear that.

 

"Tell me in a more cheerful way."

 

"I've already said it was very cheerful."

 

"Thank you, and if you're thanking someone, please mention their name as well."

 

"...Thank you for taking me, Arthit."

 

I said thank you and called him by his name as he had told me, without thinking. But the person who had told me to say it again froze, looking surprised.

 

“Oh… Yeah! Nothing! I’m leaving!!” He yelled, then immediately sped off on his motorbike. I didn’t understand why he had to make such a grumpy face. He was the one who told me to speak, so why was he angry?

 

I turned around to go into the department and only then realised that quite a few people were looking at me. I was pretty sure they were looking because of the person and the bike that had dropped me off earlier, since my neighbour was quite popular at school. Moreover, the bike he drove was very distinctive.

I ignored that look and immediately went straight to class.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

I went back to my bed and sprawled out after spending the whole afternoon with nothing to do at the department. I didn't hear the professor clearly. He said there were no classes, so I immediately ran back to my room. When I got in the elevator, I ran into that short guy getting ready for class. 

 

Honestly, he'd just recovered from a fever, and he was still going to school; it was unbelievable. It asked about the wound on my neck and even said it suspected it was caused by a ghost in the room. So I decided to blame them to get it over with; it would definitely cause a lot of trouble. The first thing they'd ask would be, "What did you do?" 

 

Probably not, it wouldn't be that rude, maybe just a cold, displeased look and a question. Then, it might not want to talk to me anymore. I was worried it would faint on the way, so I volunteered to take it to the department. It clung to my shirt so tightly it was all wrinkled, probably out of fear. Actually, riding a motorbike at high speed is even scarier than driving a car.

 

After we got him back to the department, he said something to me. As soon as I heard him, all I could do was yell, "Damn!" I'd never heard him say anything like that before. Even though he said it calmly, honestly, "Damn!" I was speechless!

 

Afterwards, I drove back to my room feeling disoriented, as if something had slipped from my mind. Even now, I can't get it out of my head—its voice, its face. Wow, you've gone too far, you little dwarf!

 

I was lying around for a while when I heard a knock on the door. I opened it and saw Min in a dishevelled state, exactly as she was the last time I saw her.

 

"Hey, wanna go have a drink?"

 

"All afternoon? Come on, slow down, I told you I'd drink less."

 

"Just reduce the amount for tomorrow."

 

"You said the same thing yesterday. I wasn't going to ask again, but what's wrong with you?"

 

"Hey, let's go have a drink, and I'll tell you, okay? Okay? Okay? Okay?"

 

"Ugh, no way, I'll stop for a while," I said, sighing. Normally, I wouldn't refuse alcohol, but I've been drinking too much lately. My liver needs a rest, too. "Would you like to come have a beer in my room? You can tell me what happened then."

"By inviting me into this room like this, what are your intentions towards me?"

 

"Drink or not drink? If you're not going to drink, go to the bar by yourself."

 

“No, drinking alone isn’t fun. Besides, nobody’s going with me anyway,” Min said reproachfully before entering my room. She sat down on the sofa, and I went to get her some beer from the refrigerator. She opened it and drank immediately, “Do you… want to hear it?”

 

"Yeah, I want to know what made you like this."

 

"Donut just broke up with me."

 

"Huh?" I frowned, looking at it in surprise, "Did a ghost dump you? Why?"

 

“Sob… sob…” Min began to sob and took a tissue from the table to wipe away her tears. She didn’t look as strong as before. “Actually, I lived with him normally, like husband and wife, even though he was a ghost. But lately, I’ve been getting a lot of attention from other ghosts.”

 

“…”

"Donut tried to help me, but it only got worse. I went to see a spiritual advisor, and he told me that because I communicate with spirits so much, they can easily approach me, and some of them don't have good intentions. They even went so far as to harm me."

 

"Damn, you're communicating with spirits? 

 

That kid in the room over there almost got hurt too," I said, thinking of a similar case where the kid nearly died at a cemetery in San Francisco.

 

"Communicating with spirits?"

"YES."

"It's dangerous, man. Besides, I'm definitely not strong enough to handle it. The only way is to cut off contact with the spirit."

"So, Donut dumped you?"

 

“That’s right, I told him it was okay, there must be another way. But in the end, Donut broke up with me. He said that if we broke up, I wouldn’t have to worry anymore. I said no, but he wouldn’t let me. He told me to perform a ritual to ward off bad luck so this wouldn’t happen again, and that he would disappear, too. He said it was okay if I had someone else, don’t worry about it, it’s so weird, man. *Sob*… And then, I didn’t see him anymore. You, Thit, I didn’t see him anymore. I called, but he didn’t answer. You, *sob*.”

 

Min burst into tears as she'd never cried before. I could only listen because I didn't know how to comfort her. I gently patted her shoulder; she was crying so hard her shoulders were shaking, and it was so pitiful. But Donut wasn't wrong either; breaking up was inevitable.

 

"You, *sobs*... I know, Thit. Do you understand? When he died, I couldn't accept it. When I found out he was still alive, who knows how happy I was. But in the end, the dead are still the dead, you know. What can you expect from a dead person?"

 

"Hmm." That was my only reply before I involuntarily sighed. Just as Min said, the dead are dead. What more could I expect? I understood this when I accepted my mother's passing, and it was true, "Donut definitely wants you to be happy. Don't cry anymore, he wants to see you smile more."

 

Min didn't answer, she just looked up at me with a confused expression: "What are you saying? You're not my friend anymore. Who are you to be so gentle?"

 

"Well, I'm a friend of mysteries, you know. Hehe, I just remembered a simple phrase that helped me, and I want it to help you too," I said. The person opposite nodded slightly and tried to smile.

 

"Yeah, that's right, I'll laugh, I'll be happy because of it, but give me some time."

"I understand, everything takes time."

"Since you came back from abroad, I've noticed you seem a little different. Or maybe I'm overthinking things?"

"You're overthinking things," I said, then stood up and got her some water. She cried for a little while longer before stopping. "Stop crying."

"I'm tired of crying. Thank you for listening to me."

 

"Yeah, it's okay."

 

"You look strange, you're not you," Min said, frowning. I immediately made a disgusted face, "Who are you? Give my friend back!"

 

"It's me, Thit, you crazy fool, what are you trying to do?"

 

"You probably just think that yourself, but the atmosphere around you is different now... Before, it felt disgusting; I didn't want to go near it at all. I felt like throwing up whenever I got close, but now it's much better."

 

"Get lost!" I couldn't help but curse back at what she had just said. Hearing that, Min chuckled a little, "Hey, Min, let me ask you something, are you okay with that?"

 

"Yes, go ahead."

 

"Now that Donut is gone, you're sad, aren't you?"

 

"Of course, didn't you see me crying just now, you bastard?"

 

“So, have you ever thought that if you had known it would end like this, it would have been better not to start the relationship in the first place?” I asked, my fear palpable. Min was probably the best person to answer this question.

 

"No," it replied immediately, making me doubt its confidence. "Even if I knew it would die, if I could turn back time, I would still choose to agree with it."

 

"Why? If we don't start, we won't have to suffer when it's gone, right?"

 

“I don’t know either, but I only know that without it, I couldn’t get through each day. Over the years, I’ve never regretted being with it. I even thank myself for choosing this path. I want it by my side, even if I have to break up with it one day. Like now, when I’m crying, I don’t think, ‘I wish I hadn’t chosen it.’”

 

The other person's confident answer and gaze left me speechless.

 

"Even without it, those past memories will surely bring me happiness forever."

 

“…”

 

"Why? Why are you asking? That's a really strange question."

 

"Min."

"What's wrong? You're making such a serious face."

 

"I have a friend who feels attracted to someone. My friend has never liked anyone before, but this person is different. My friend likes them and wants to be with them forever, but they're also afraid that if that person disappears one day, they won't be able to bear it."

 

“…Ah.” Min nodded slightly, “Your friend?”

 

"Yes, that's my friend."

 

"It's not surprising to be scared. Ask your friend how much they like that person; if they say they want them by their side every day. If so, would they like them so much that they would endure heartbreak?"

 

Min's question left me stunned once again.

 

"It would be okay if that person disappeared now, right? Just imagine what it would be like tomorrow without them. Would that be any better?"

...

I remained silent for I don't know how long until Min broke the silence.

 

“I’m leaving, I need some sleep. Honestly, I was still drunk yesterday.” He said, getting up from the sofa. “Go home and think it over, or rather, tell your friend to go home and think it over.” He didn’t forget to turn back and smirk sarcastically. I smiled back before he left the room.

 

I leaned back on the sofa, closing my eyes as everything jumbled in my head—the events of last night, the feelings, the warmth of his body, that scent. Nothing had faded at all. His face and his voice—even now, I still just wonder what he's doing, how he's studying, who he's studying with, if it's cold in the classroom, if the fever has returned. Around 4:40, I'll be out to pick him up after class. Actually, it only takes me ten minutes to drive to the department, but it's better to take the time.

 

Spending time… Hmm, someone like me, who's never liked anyone before, is waiting for someone like this? I've never even picked someone up or dropped them off, how boring!

 

And then, Min's words and questions kept repeating in my head. I heard the question echoing, but there was no answer.

 

"If it were gone tomorrow… would things be better?"

Absolutely not.

 

"It would be okay if it disappeared now, right?"

No way!

 

What would I do if you disappeared?

What should I do… if you’re no longer here?

Really?

 

Do we have to go back to how things were before I met you? How is that possible? That's crazy!

 

No, absolutely not. It can't work without you!

...

"Sigh..." I let out a deep sigh, hoping it would ease the heavy feeling in my heart.

I really wanted to smoke, but I remembered I ran out yesterday. Now I don't even feel like buying more. Oh my God, what's wrong with you, Thit? You haven't been yourself these past few days...But I still want every day to be like this.

 

I want to drive him around, cuddle with him, take care of him when he's sick, eat meals with him, see his face, listen to his music, read novels with him, and even teach him to play the drums. If asked whether they liked each other enough to be willing to endure another heartbreak…

 

If you disappear again, if that time really comes, and I still can't imagine how long I'll be able to endure it… But if you're not here tomorrow… that's something I really can't bear.

 

Anyway, I'll definitely never love anyone else again in my life, because if that's the case, even without you by my side, you'll still be the only one in my heart. So, I just want you here… Because from now on, you'll be by my side for the rest of my life. No matter what happens, I will never regret it.