Theory of Love

The Value of Effort Equals Minus Zero

 

"It's gonna be noon. I'm hungry. It's gonna be noon."

 

"What the fuck are you yammering about? So annoying."

 

"My stomach will squeeze in two minutes. If the teacher doesn't let us go, I'll go down first."

 

"You don't have patience at all, dickhead."

 

Cuss at me all you want because I don't care. I can't even sit properly right now, waiting for the old teacher to change the slides slowly. He's too punctual. He'd never let us go until it's exactly noon.

 

"Students, it's going to be late today. I really want to end the slideshow."

 

"Okay, Miss."

 

Noooooooooo. I'm the only one who's not okay. There is one page left, four slides, and tons of photos. Do you know what that means? We're going to take lots of notes. Today, I was in such a hurry that I forgot to bring something to eat.

 

"Should I ask to go out first?" I ask Bone impatiently.

 

"If you go out first, that'll mean you've missed this class. Just sit down for a little while."

 

"Little my ass."

 

"Hey, Third, do you have something to eat? Khai won't stop whining." 

 

Third, who's focusing on the lesson, turns to Too. In the past, Third always brought me some snacks in case I was hungry, so I developed the habit of never bringing anything myself because I'd eat what Third brought.

 

"Not sure. Let me see.." He puts his hand into his bag and hands Too something, then Too hands it to Bone, and it comes to me within seconds.

 

I'm gonna cry; he brought a rice ball. I know he's worried about me, but I don't say it because he'll be shy, so I look down and eat so the teacher won't see. 

 

The moment I take my first bite, the weird taste spreads all over my mouth.

 

"What's the brand of the rice ball? Why's the rice so mushy?" I complain as I eat, but I won't stop eating it because an army marches on its stomach. I take a second bite, and then third.

 

"It's Japanese rice. It's supposed to be a bit sticky."

 

"Yeah?"

 

I force myself to stuff it all even though it tastes like shit. But when I've finished it, and there's only its plastic wrap left in my

hand, my face goes numb.

 

"Third, when did you buy this rice ball?"

 

"Don't remember, it's been in my bag for a week."

 

Fuck!

 

"Shit, it expired!" My voice echoes in the room. The old teacher looks at me with an intimidating look. I quickly bow and apologise as Third explains himself without even looking at me.

 

"Sorry, I didn't know it expired."

 

He said sorry, but it didn't look like he was. It's like Third is trying to maintain our friendship, but I can feel he's forcing himself to make the effort because we keep getting further apart. The more I approach him, the more he steps away.

 

It feels terrible, but I can't complain. Right! I've brought it all on myself, both intentionally and unintentionally.

 

We go to the faculty canteen for lunch, so I feel a bit relieved after stuffing myself with the whole spoiled rice ball, praying I won't need to take a shit during afternoon classes. 

 

The four of us split up to buy food at our favourite shops and then gathered again with food piled on our plates. More importantly...! I bought Third a bottle of water, but I'm too afraid to give it to him directly because he might not take it, so I pushed it closer to his hand instead.

 

I have no idea where my shamelessness has gone; all I know is now I don't dare to hit on someone like before. I keep thinking over and over about what to do that I'm annoyed with myself.

 

"Is your food good? Let me have a bite." I'm about to fork a piece of cooked pork onto Third's plate, but he's quicker and moves his plate away from me.

 

"Buy it yourself."

 

"I just want a bite."

 

"No."

 

"Why so stingy? It's just pork."

 

"I'm stingy with everything. Buy it if you want to eat it." Bone, sitting across from me, kicks my leg. He's probably railing in his mind at how stupid I tried to approach Third. Was I not smooth enough? I think for a while until Third gets up to his full height, about to go somewhere.

 

"Third." I can't help but stop him.

 

"What?" He asks innocently. So fucking adorable.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"I'm gonna buy water."

 

"But this is your water." I point at a bottle of water I bought him.

 

"I have money."

 

"Yeah, but I already bought you one."

 

"I want to drink lemon tea," he says and walks away, lost in the crowd in the canteen. The two Extremes and I look at each other, feeling hopeless.

 

"It's all gone, Khai, you've used all his compassion," Too says, shaking his head, picking at his food as he accepts the

situation.

 

"What should I do?"

 

"Wanna quit?"

 

"No"

 

"Maybe you questioned yourself too quickly. You might actually not want to ruin your friendship with him. Wanna think about it

again?"

 

I've thought about it. I've wracked my brain thinking about it. And I won't be able to take it if he goes out with someone else.

 

Speaking of this, Too, go find out if Third's going out with someone." We've been spitting and working on our parts for the stage play lately. Third spent most of his time with other friend groups, and he also hung out with Chen many times.

 

Chen is the worst. He has tons of friends. They're all cool, good at flirting, and smarter than me. I'm afraid I'd only know about it when Third had already become part of that gang. It's nerve-wracking.

 

"How do I find out? I don't like to stick my nose in other people's business."

 

"Oh, yeeeeeah? You've never stuck your nose in before, huh?"

 

"I knew about you guys because he told me."

 

"So you won't help me? What about our friendship?"

 

"Oh, fuck, you fuck, you always force me."

 

"Will you help me?"

 

"All right! I'll check his phone, happy?"

 

"I'm not free this evening. I have a rehearsal." 

 

I change the topic the second Third reaches our table. He puts his lemon tea on the table and sits in the same seat to eat his food without saying anything.

 

"Third, wanna go to the rehearsal room together after classes?" I start a new topic. I want this quiet person to chit-chat sometimes. He's not talking much lately, and not as lively as before.

 

"Sure. I have to meet Chen anyway."

 

"Chen this, Chen that. Are you two dating?"

 

"His girlfriend will slap you in the face." Shit, Third's getting fierce again. Well, I don't want him to spend much time with Chen. I'm not jealous of Chen. It's Chen's friends that I'm jealous of.

 

"And.."

 

"I'll give you one last chance to ask. I'm gonna eat. So annoying."

 

"Can I eat at your room today?"

 

".."

 

"Answer me."

 

"Yeah. Next question."

 

"Are you free tomorrow? Let's have shabu-shabu."

 

"No."

 

"Where are you going tomorrow?"

 

"Many places. Done?"

 

"Where?"

 

"Why do you keep asking me? We always split up. What about your girls or your secret lovers? Why don't you hang out with them? Why are you clingy to me?" 

 

All the questions pour out of his mouth. He's panting in frustration, making my other two friends look at each other stupidly. I meet Third's eyes, not knowing how Third's gonna interpret what I'm about to say, but I still want to say it to show him my determination.

 

"I kept asking you because I wanted to know. I don't want to split up with you because I'm not seeing anyone anymore. I cut off all the girls and my secret lovers."

 

"..."

 

"That's why I have time to be clingy to you."

 

"You're so important to me, and so I chose you."

 

Every actor has to rehearse at least three or four days a week, following the schedule the seniors arrange. I walk to the rehearsal room with Third because Too has to take photos at the fundraising event at the Student Market, and Bone has to meet the seniors who handle sound.

 

Before the acting lesson begins, we warm up with exercises or meditation. The coach tells us to form a circle and hands us five pieces of paper each with lots of colored pencils.

 

"Everyone, this is an activity where we'll get to know the actors and actresses' opinions and attitudes before the lesson begins. Each of you will draw pictures of the words I say. For example, if I say 'bear,' you don't have to draw a bear; you might draw some fat person if that's what you think of. This is only an example. Just draw what you want to convey through the words. Got it?"

 

Everyone nods at the same time. I can't help but turn to look at the person sitting with the scriptwriting team at the back of the room. Third doesn't pay attention to my group. It's actually not what he has to care about at all.  What am I expecting?

 

"The first is 'home."'

 

To hell with my drawing. It's my worst skill ever. I can calculate or do something else. I'm a bit artistic, but when it comes to drawing, my brain will be empty in an instant. And so, 'home' in my interpretation is...Charle, or Chawee.

 

"Khai.." Pink, the female lead, calls my name.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Your home is a praying mantis? It's cute." 

 

Argh, I want to slam my head on the floor. My big bike has transformed into a praying mantis. Should I colour it green so that I can ride it on the leaves?

 

I would've sniped back if she hadn't been pretty. And since I'm a playboy who has stopped playing around, a brand new me, I say.."Thank you sooooo much."

 

"When you've done drawing and colouring, pick up a new piece of paper. The next word is...' star" 

 

My brain's suddenly blank because it's not cool to draw a five-pointed star. I want to draw something unique, but it's my fault for being stupid, so I peek at what the others are drawing.

 

Many of them are drawing people, cartoons, or flowers. I don't think I can copy them, so I'll think for a while until something pops into my head. It's a mountain appearing before movies start.

 

Paramount Pictures, so cooooooool.

 

"The next word is 'red string."

 

Oh, this one is easy. I quickly draw it on a piece of paper. I even have time to look at the others' work.

 

"The fourth word is.." friend." As soon as Berm said it, I drew the picture carefully even though it came out crappy. I feel so damn lucky I didn't decide to study Arts in my last year of high school; otherwise, my life would've been screwed up.

 

"Are you guys done?"

 

"Yeeeeeeees."

 

"The last word is..' clock. Why are these words so hard? You're training my brain to compete in an academic test or something? It's just a stage play; why do we have to do this? 

 

I can only grumble in my mind. I can't think of anything, so I turn to look at what the others are drawing to copy them, but they're not creative at all. But then my eyes catch someone...And that picture suddenly comes up in my mind.

 

After we've finished the drawing, the fourth-year acting coach tells us to form five lines. Berm starts speaking again when

we're done.

 

"All right, everyone, after the first activity, you guys probably want to get feedback, right? I want to know everyone's attitudes. It's so necessary since we have to work together. Let's start with Khai, our male lead." Everyone claps—the person at the front gestures to me to walk out of my line.

 

"What do I have to do?"

 

"Take out your pictures."

 

"Oh."

 

"And now, present them to your friends, seniors, and juniors. Tell them what you want to convey through the pictures." 

 

Holy cow!

 

It's like a high heel has slapped my face. I'm confident with my look, but I'd rather die if I have to show my drawings.

 

"They don't look very good."

 

"Aaaaah, it's fine. Everyone knows how you are." Are you saying everyone knows I'm stupid? Damn you. We're pulling the five pieces of paper to ourselves relentlessly, but I lose to Berm's strength at last. He shows the pictures for all the eyes to see, making them burst out laughing

 

"The first is 'home.' Did you draw a brick?" Oh, fuck! You're worse than the praying mantis.

 

"No, this is my big bike, Chawee."

 

"Why did you draw Chawee?"

 

"The bike I ride every day is my second home."

 

"Did you fuck girls on it?"

 

"Nooooooooo!"

 

"Haha." He's fucking good at humiliating his juniors. The stage actors gang doesn't consist only of Film Kids, but also of students from every faculty. There are many people here, thirty-four lead and supporting actors. He must've been wanting to humiliate the Extreme like me for ages.

 

"Let's see the second picture. The word is 'star."

 

"This one is literal. It's the stars on Paramount Pictures' logo. I've seen them all my life."

 

"Next is the third picture. 'Red string."

 

"I drew meat, two pieces of meat."

 

"How are they related? It's kinda abstract that it makes my head hurt, honey." My head hurts because of you even more than the picture, you prick.

 

"When we speak of a red string, we normally think of soulmates. Here, two pieces of meat."

 

"Argh!" Everyone's yelling at me. Even Chen, who's sitting at the back of the room, is shouting. Well! This is who I am. I've learned to love but never been sensitive about it.

 

Let's move on to the fourth one before our heads hurt more. It's...a bottle of booze?"

 

"You're right. My friends are like booze: they have pros and cons but never expire."

 

"Oooooooooh." I wink at my friends. See? I've regained my charm.

 

"You suddenly look smart, Khai. Let's have a look at the last one. What is a clock in your interpretation? I'm gonna show the picture."

 

Ta-dah!!!

 

A noise erupted in the room. They're probably stunned by this incomprehensible-for-normal-people art. I'm so proud of this drawing that I wanna cry.

 

"What's this picture?"

 

"This picture? It's...Third."

 

"...!!!"

 

The noise quiets down in a flash. I look straight at the back of the room and see the owner of the name sitting with the seniors, eyes wide, looking back at me. I thought so hard about what to draw, but then I realised that he's the meaning of the word 'clock '!

 

"Can you tell us why Third is a clock?"

 

"A clock tells time when you sleep and wakes you up in the morning."

 

"..."

 

"So does Third; he reminds me of his existence both in my dreams and reality."

 

Because I see him in my dreams, and when I wake up, he's still in my life. As always...

 

In the second half of the activity, we'll roughly rehearse our acting with the script. Third, Yongyee and Chen will help us with the details and emotions in case the acting coach doesn't understand the script and the actors can't convey the scene's emotions.

 

I received pieces of paper from my dear friend. He's handed them to me like this many times before, but today the selected scene is different. Trin's character in Likebrary is, on the outside, not different from the male leads in general movies or dramas. He's handsome, cool, a bad boy, and incredibly good at flirting. The difference is his particular behaviour: when he likes someone, he'll start talking like a philosopher.

 

Yeah, you heard it right. He can philosophise about everything in this world and even try to make it emotional. When I got the role, I lay down and almost raised my feet on my forehead. The one who came up with the characteristics was Chen. Third wrote the plot. Yongyee took care of the dialogues. It's a combination of people with destructive power.

 

I rehearse the scene for a long time, almost two hours without a break. When the senior focuses on someone else, I sit down beside Third, leaning my back against the wall, knackered.

 

"Hey, are you dead?"

 

"That was supposed to cheer me up?"

 

"Keep it up. You're the male lead." Is he cheering me up or making fun of me? I've no idea.

 

"It's so hot, I'm tired," I grumble. I run my hand through my cool bangs, slicking them all up because the sweat's bugging me so fricking much.

 

"Your hair's getting long. It looks messy." He nags just like my mother.

 

"I'll cut it if you're the one who cuts it."

 

"All right, I'll cut it."

 

"You'll cut my hair?"

 

"I'll cut your head."

 

"It's that easy?"

 

"It's not as hard as cutting someone off."

 

It sounds like he's joking, but his expression and eyes say he meant it. If I hadn't found that video on YouTube that day, I would've continued hurting him unintentionally.

 

I look at the pen in his hand. I'll try using the male lead's emotions, treating it as practice.

 

"Why do we always deprive others of their lives? Even a pen, we slowly deprive it of its life, and when it runs out of ink, we

lose it forever."

 

"Get emotional with a pen?" Third asks, tilting his head. I nod sadly.

 

'The draft flows out of the air con lazily, blowing coolness to our skin, and for once. it merged our breaths into one."

 

I got emotional with the air con. Haha. I look around. Third, I see his phone lying on the floor. It sends a chill down my heart.

 

"My beloved phone, has it ever felt sorry for me? Every time I touch the screen, my tears always fall on it? So this is what sadness is?"

 

"A phone, too? You're good. You can be the male lead."

 

"Really?"

 

"But your choices of words suck. Improve them."

 

"Break time, everyone. The welfare team will distribute refreshments." I pause at the voice. The team pushes a cart full of fruit and ice cream, now crowded with starving humans.

 

"Show me how you get emotional with an orange." The fruit is oranges today. The dessert is ice cream.

 

"How long has it been since we ate oranges? It's sad now that I think about it. These days, we almost forget their scent and taste. We only remember the happiness the oranges gave us."

 

I wait for the feedback, but Third massages his temples, so I get emotional with ice-cream next.

 

"Oh, ice-cream, they shouldn't've taken you out of the fridge. You two were born to be together. That's why you melted away in anguish before I could put my tongue on you. Poor ice cream..."

 

I should eat it quickly before it melts away. We're eating quietly. Third doesn't say anything, letting me show off my freakishly emotional plus philosophical skill.

 

"Cuteness. How do we define this word? Is it based on each person's personal feelings? I don't think dolls are cute. Some girls aren't cute. Some dogs are scary. What's exactly the definition of cuteness?"

 

"To me, Chawee is cute, some movies are cute, cats are cute, and.."

 

"..."

 

"You're cute."

 

Third's face right now is fucking funny. Look! His eyes widen, which is so cute. His ears even turn red. It seems like he's trying to keep cool and not react, so I continue being philosophical.

 

"Clock, please reduce the time between seconds. I can't wait anymore."

 

"Wait for what?" He asks.

 

“Wait to have dinner in your room."

 

"Smooth, huh? It's not like we can go back when the activity ends. I need to talk with the seniors about the script improvement."

 

"I can wait," I say with pleasure.

 

"Not complaining? You weren't normally like this."

 

"What was I like?"

 

"You made a fuss when things didn't go the way you wanted."

 

"I'm impatient, but I can suddenly be patient with something."

 

"It's strange that that something..is you."

 

Everyone splits after the rehearsal is over. I wait for Third, who's now talking with the seniors about fixing some parts of the script. It takes a long time for it to be past nine. Nobody has had dinner. I'm fine because I've eaten a lot, but I can only worry about Third.

 

"Third, are you nearly done?" I move to sit close behind him and whisper.

 

"Nah, we'll talk in my room."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Go eat first if you're hungry."

 

"What? I told you I'd eat at your room."

 

"Then go with us." I frown because of what he said. I thought it'd be just the two of us, but now Chen will be the third wheel. I wasted my time telling Bone and Too to get out of the way for nothing.

 

Not just that, Un, Chen's best friend, will join us, so I'm scared that I'll hear the words I don't want to hear from someone's mouth.

 

"Third, shall we go now?" Chen asks after Yongyee fled to have a meal with her friends.

 

"All right, let me pack up my things for a second."

 

"Want me to buy something to eat?"

 

"I have a lot of fresh food and snacks in my room, but you can buy more food if you want."

 

"Okay...hey, can Un go with us? He came with me today."

 

Don't, Third. I look at him pleadingly, but he doesn't understand and nods in approval.

 

"Sure."

 

Noooooooooooo. The mission to win Third's heart has lots of freaking third wheels.

 

I arrive at his room almost at the same time as Third does. Two seniors reach here shortly after, which is so annoying. I text the other two Extremes to come and help me, but they're having fun with girls. I want to jump off the window, but I still have to get points.

 

"Need help?" I run to the room's owner, who's cooking at the counter.

 

"No."

 

"No way. Can I wash the veggies?"

 

"Do it, then." Though he tried to push me away, I still managed to be with him.

 

"Does it take a long time to wash?" I want to talk to him. Talking isn't the only way to hit on him; I gotta get his heart.

 

"Think of it yourself." The person who's focusing on marinating the pork goes quiet for a while, then he asks, "I didn't see Praew today. Where was she?" Daaaaaaamn, why has he asked a lot about Praew lately? I don't talk much with her. After I cancelled my request, we've been living our lives normally and separately.

 

"Maybe she had a class. I didn't talk to her."

 

"Um. If Praew has a new boyfriend, will you be mad at her?"

 

"Why will I be? We're done. She can go out with anyone she wants."

 

"Yeah?" What a weird question, so weird that I'm afraid he might've found out about something again. I actually asked Bone and Too, and they swore with their honours that they've never told Third about this. Praew also promised me. I hope nothing terrible will ever happen again.

 

I don't know if I'm scared he'll know what I've done or what, but I quickly change the topic.

 

"Should I cut the veggies?"

 

"Um," he answered curtly, not even looking up at me.

 

"Are there many parts of the script to fix?"

 

"Um."

 

"You must be working late, huh?"

 

"Um."

 

"Won't you say something else?"

 

"Um."

 

"Can I crash here tonight, then?"

 

"Um, wait! No, go back to your room."

 

"It'll be late. It's dangerous to drive at night. You told me that." He looks up, thinking, then he answers evenly.

 

"Too's and Bone's rooms are on different floors. Try knocking on their doors."

 

'They're not here. I texted them; they said the preys were taking the baits."

 

"It's inconvenient for me. I haven't cleaned up my bed."

 

I always crashed here, didn't I? Even when your room was messy. And tomorrow is Saturday, so I don't have to hurry to class. Let me sleep over for a night."

 

".."

 

"Please, Third, pleeeease.." The flirting skill I used with girls must work. At least let me spend more time with him.

 

"All right. If you don't have clothes to change, wear mine."

 

Yes! You're so cute, Techaphon.

 

I help him with the easy parts of cooking because I have terrible cooking skills. When we're done, we bring the food to the seniors sitting at a small table.

 

"Third, next Tuesday, our staff's going to publicise and hold the fundraising event at the Student Market again. Why don't you join us?" Un, after eating quietly for a while, asks him. I have had a bad feeling about him for quite a while. The fourth-year and third-year are close, that I know, but I also know that he's a playboy.

 

"On Tuesday?"

 

"You're not free on Tuesday. You're going to the Original shop with me." I cut in to nip it in the bud. The Original shop sells old CDs. Film Kids in every generation know this shop because the owner is so indie and can find any CDs for you no matter how old they are.

 

"I'll go there tomorrow so that I can join you on Tuesday."

 

"Good, Tuesday it is."

 

There are six Film Kids on the blacklist of people you shouldn't associate with because they're so cunning that many people have fallen into their traps. The first one is me. Everyone in the faculty criticises my behaviour, but I feel safe because I've only fucked around with the outsiders and never had a secret relationship with my fellow Film Kids.

 

The second one is Too. He's so damn extreme; Film Kids are no exception. He screws everyone from the end of the street to the chancellor's daughter. He lures every sexy girl to take photos in his room. Nobody has ever left unscathed.

 

The third one is Bone. If you hear the word 'that shaved head bastard, they mean him, the member of the Extreme Gang. He's no different, never being in a serious relationship. He fucked around with girls almost as many times as I did. But he's crueller than me because he always nails and bails, treating the girls he fucked as total strangers.

 

The fourth one is a second-year student. He's the faculty's prince, very popular. He fucked a senior cheerleader when he was a freshman and became well-known by word of mouth. 

 

The fifth one is a senior, that bear-like Chen's friend. He looks okay, but has such a firm six-pack. He's funny and good at flirting. He's nailed the most girls out of all of us.

 

And the last one is… one of Chen's friends, Un, that prick!

 

This is not a group of tigers but a group of dogs, the hunting dogs nobody can defy. Deep down, he's a playboy, but he's built an image of a kind guy who's fun to be with, loves his friends, and is fucking friendly with everyone. Nobody wants to compete with his look because he's so cool that even guys have to say 'wow!' 

 

His tan skin and tall figure make girls kneel at his feet and let him eat them up to the bones. His fake good-boy image still works with everyone. If you're not in the circle and know how many preys he's eaten, you'll never believe what a playboy he is.

 

There are only a few people in this shitty circle, so we know each other. But why do you have to mess around in Third's life right now? I used to work with him, but he wasn't in a high position at that time, so this year is my bad year.

 

"Did you cook this? It's good." See? He starts to show his true colours.

 

"I help him. Third's actually bad at cooking." I won't let anyone mess around with Third. I'll do everything to stop him.

 

"You can cook?"

 

"Of course."

 

"To flirt with girls, huh?" He says and laughs. 

He's making me lose my points.

 

"I practice it to cook for my friends."

 

"Yeah? Well, it's good. I like it."

 

"Un, do you want more rice? I'll give you more." Third cuts in. I look at him, trying my best to stifle my anger.

 

"Sure, it's delicious. Now I want to come over often to eat your food."

 

"There's not much rice. I think you've eaten enough."

 

"You're funny, Khai. Is it your rice?"

 

Shick! It's like a knife stabs me. I'm jeeeeeealous. Why don't you flirt with someone else? Why does it have to be my friend?

 

"I don't want Third to be hungry."

 

"That's all right. I'm full." He takes Un's plate. Chen is outside on his phone with his girlfriend. So this is the war of nerves between Un and me.

 

"Then give me more rice," I say quickly.

 

"Give me a lot, Third. I'm still not full."

 

"Give me a big scoop. I'm starving!"

 

After we've finished the meal, we wash the dishes, clean the table, and then we move to the living room to talk about the script. A duty-free person like me goes out to the balcony to smoke; shortly after, the door opens, and the tall senior comes out.

 

"Got a lighter?" He asks. I reach into my pocket and hand him my lighter. He puts a cigarette up to his lips and lights it deftly. White smoke is blown out, competing with mine, making this area foggy.

 

"I heard you've quit." He asks with his deep voice. It's so out of the blue and confusing. 

 

"Quit what?"

 

"Fucking around." I've never told anyone about this, but those in the shitty circle must know that I've stepped off the throne.

 

"We have to take things seriously sometimes in life. We've all grown up, you know."

 

"Good to hear that. But most people can't just stop all of a sudden. You see, most of us are rotten to the core."

 

"Like you?"

 

"Haha. I'm not as rotten as you are." This is fucked up. Now we're in a who-can-insult-the-other-the-most-hurtfully competition. For Un, he's a douche to girls, but he's pretty sincere with his seniors, juniors, and friends. I don't know what level of sincerity he gives them, though. And I don't know how he categorises people into groups, but if it's a love-relationship group, everyone in that group is definitely screwed.

 

"Seriously, why did you quit?"

 

"I found someone I want to have a serious relationship with."

 

"Holy shit, that's great."

 

"What about you? Ever thought about that?"

 

"I have. Well, I gotta try." My throat's suddenly dry. I don't even dare look into the room where someone's sitting, afraid that the person he wants to try is the one I'm protective of.

 

"Why do you suddenly have that thought? You've been a douche for four years. Or did you realise it?"

 

"You shouldn't have asked this question. Your heart knows when you should quit or if you should keep on being a scumbag. Mine's no different. Who got you trapped, anyway?

 

I take a drag on my cigarette. It helps clear my mind and encourages me to do many more things than when I'm in my normal mood.

 

"That person's from our faculty."

 

"Whoa, you broke your own rule." He knows me so damn well.

 

"You know me well, then you probably know this: I'll destroy whoever makes a move on the person I like."

 

"The same goes for me." I turn to look at his side profile. His eyes look out at the view, but now his ears are waiting to hear what I'm about to say.

 

"Un."

 

"What?"

 

"I like Third."

 

"And so, nobody must make a move on him."

 

It's past ten when Chen and Third have finished talking. But instead of leaving, he lies down on the sofa and finds a movie to watch, clearly in a good mood. I fucking hate this and can only pull a face and sit with them. I even have to sit on the floor.

 

"This one is a short film from last year, a bit erotic but damn artistic." The external is plugged directly into the TV's socket. He pushes buttons on the remote control, and the movie starts. It's the short film that Film Kids made last year. It got a reward, but I don't remember its rank.

 

We're watching the movie, and I'm unable to keep the 'ooh' and 'uh' sounds in my mouth. Arrigh, one of you should know it's been a while since I've had sex. Now that I'm watching an 18+ movie, it might be artistic, but it doesn't feel artistic to me at all. My sleeping little brother is ready to get up in any second. I put an inhaler in my nose to help me relax, but it doesn't work. I can't take it anymore, so I'm fleeing to the bathroom.

 

"Gotta pee. Be right back."

 

"I don't think so. Getting horny, huh?" Chen, you cockface.

 

"I drank a lot of water," I stride to the bathroom in Third's bedroom immediately. I deal with my son til it returns to normal. I open the door and am halted by the person waiting outside.

 

"Have to use the bathroom?" I ask Chen.

 

"Yeah, and I also wanna talk to you."

 

"About what?"

 

"Things."

 

"We can talk outside. I'm getting out."

 

I'm about to walk out of the bathroom, but Chen pushes my chest, keeping me in place.

 

"What the hell do you want?"

 

"I don't want you to get in the way. How should I put it?"

 

"Just tell me!" My voice is full of anger. I can barely control myself right now. I'm fucking scared, but I also want to know the answer.

 

"My friend likes your friend."

 

".."

 

"Since I'm his best friend."

 

"I'm asking you to get out of the way and let Un hit on Third."