Theory of Love

A Little Thing Called You.

 

Oh, love, I wonder what you look like. Do you have a stupid face like Khai's?

 

After making a plan and preparing the boards with Too all night, the result was a total failure, leaving not a single shred of hope.  He even pulled me into his embrace so happily. You think I let you hug me because I'm happy for you? Grim!

 

When he's done hugging me, he pulls me into his room. Nah, we're not going to make out or anything. Khai is much more beyond. He goes into the kitchen, grabs a large bag of instant noodles, and seasons it with great care. He walks out here once he's done, eyes filled with determination and sincerity. I'm so touched that I'm about to burst into tears. He gave me raw instant noodles.

 

WTF! Be considerate of my sensitive stomach, you prick. But I love my friend, so what choice do I have? I can only sit down in front of the TV and eat to make him feel at ease. You can rest in peace now, Khai.

 

"Want more? Tom Yum Goong is your favourite."

 

"Minced pork flavour next time." This one is so salty the inside of my mouth has gone numb.

 

The Extreme Gang has our own routine food we eat whenever we all gather in one of our rooms. When we watch a movie together, if there are alcoholic drinks, there'll have to be some snacks. And one of our hot snacks is raw instant noodles, Bone's in particular. He would even lick the inside of the bag. He might have renal failure soon.

 

Since we often eat raw instant noodles, Khai assumes it's also my favourite, so he stored four or five packs in his cupboard. Are you collecting them to give to charity or something?

 

"Okay, anything you want."

 

"It should be like that since I helped you." I didn't actually help you. I did it all for myself. But he already misunderstood, so...yeah, whatever.

 

Khai laughs merrily and sits down beside me, along with his prideful words, "Well, even if you don't help me, I can still hit on girls just fine."

 

"Yeah, handsome. The hot guy of sociopathy."

 

"It's 'society,' dude. I'm a sweet talker, and my moves in bed are pretty good." I look at him tiredly, eyes narrowed. I'm fucking sick of his shit but can't do anything because I've never won an argument with him.

 

"I'm so done with your shit."

 

"Girls like bad boys." Not just girls. Me...me, too.

 

"What's her name again? The girl you're going to ask her out." 

 

After getting upset by Milk, who two-timed him with the campus prince, Khai moved on at the speed of light. It could be that he's never been serious with anyone, so I often saw him changing his girlfriends and never sticking with anyone for too long.

 

"Ging, second-year, Nursing."

 

"How did you meet her?"

 

"She's my friend's friend's friend. I like her because she's got big tits."

 

"You've always got girls with big tits. You see them and get thirsty all of a sudden."

 

"I won't be in a relationship with her. I'm tired."

 

"HUH?!" What the fuck did he just say? Why would you hit on her, then? This doesn't make sense. But I choose to stay silent and not ask anything, just waiting for him to explain himself.

 

"I won't be in a relationship or tie myself down with anyone anymore. It's too tiring to please my girlfriends and too much of a bother to keep them posted all the time. I'm just gonna fool around, no strings attached, and go our separate ways once we're done. It sounds much better."

 

Wow! And I thought he'd gone too far already, but now, is he going to become a famous Man with a Thousand Gals' of the faculty? I got a chill running down my spine just thinking about it. It's good that he uses condoms when he does it, but I still hate to see him with someone else. Though I feel a glimpse of hope since he won't be in a relationship with anyone.

 

"What do you think? Is it better this way?"

 

"Sounds pretty fucked up, I like it." 

 

What should I tell Too? 'Khai is freaking out of his mind right now.' Like this?

 

"You're always the one listening to my love stories. What about you? You rejected people all the time. Don't you want to go out with someone?" 

 

Never in a million years has he ever wanted to put his nose in this business of mine, but I'm happy to answer him with my stupid lies.

 

"Nah."

 

"Have you ever liked someone?"

 

"I have." It's you, idiot. I won't boldly confess my feelings to you like that again; I'm not that shameless...

 

"Did you confess?"

 

"No."

 

"Why?"

 

"You wouldn't do it either."

 

"Third, you.."

 

".."

 

"You like someone else's girlfriend, right?"

 

Arrgh! Enough, you shit. Just because I can't confess to the one I like doesn't mean I like someone else's girlfriend. Why is his head full of shitty thoughts like that?

 

"I don't love or confess my feelings to people so easily as you can."

 

"I don't love anyone easily. What you see is my personal preference."

 

Yeah. Whatever you say. I can just sit there, so fed up with his shit. After I've finished raw instant noodles, I take my leave, feeling uneasy. I, actually, should be okay with his reason by now, or else I wouldn't have been in love with him for two years. 

 

When I got back to my room, I saw Too sitting on the sofa, his face full of hope, his 'spill it now' question awaiting.

 

"How was it? Did it work? Tell me now."

 

"Work, my ass. He's about to find a new girl."

 

"What the? Shit, how did it turn out like that?"

 

"Ask him yourself." I kick my shoes off, and they land on the wall, then I walk to the sofa and lie down hopelessly beside our gang's shabby man. Our plan was a total failure.

 

"What went wrong? Tell me so I can help."

 

"Your previous advanced plan didn't even work. We should've known that Khai is stupid. He thought I tried to give him an idea to hit on girls by knocking on his door to confessing my feelings like that."

 

"Such an airhead."

 

"Right?"

 

"I mean you. If he misunderstood, then you should've corrected him, not going along."

 

"My mind was empty that I couldn't think straight. You know what was worse? He said he wouldn't tie himself down with anyone. He'd fuck around like he was on a fricking tour. Let's see which part I would fit in his world tour."

 

"Isn't it good that he won't tie himself down? At least you won't have to feel bad since he'll be girlfriend-free." What a good way to comfort me, you prick."

 

"I’ll think of a new plan. It will work this time."

 

"A new fucking plan? As if this one wasn't shameless enough."

 

"Toss your shame aside, and it'll get better, trust me."

 

Too isn't the type of guy who cares about methods. All he cares about is the result. And, at last, he's really thought of a new plan for me, along with his fakest-of-the-fake acting the next morning...

 

"What's wrong, Third?"

 

"What's the matter? You look like you didn't take a shit," Khai asks again as Too stomps his foot on mine under the table like crazy. Do I really have to say it? I'm so ashamed of myself, guys.

 

"Well, my family is facing financial problems right now, so I don't have money to pay rent. The owner of my room already let the new tenant move in." I say, my expression dim like the one I've seen in some reality show about poor families. This is the first time in my life that I've made up such a drama.

 

"Damn. Since when did it happen? Why didn't you tell us?" Now, Bone is worried. I really want to tell him that it happened last night when I was thinking of a new plan with Too, but, driven by my own wicked heart, I've gotta tell him that...

 

"About a month ago."

 

More. Get even more depressed. Make an expression like everyone in this world has dropped dead in front of me. Although I've never attended an acting class, Film kids should have some acting skill and inner feelings. 

 

Don't forget to give me an Oscar this year. I'll bring tears to La La Land.

 

"Why did you keep it from us? Don't you think of us as your friends?" Too gives it his all. Please nominate him for the best supporting actor, I'm begging you.

 

"I didn't want to bother you guys. But now I don't have a place to sleep, so I'm gonna have to ask all of you to let me take turns sleeping in your rooms once or twice a week until my family passes the crisis."

 

"What about Khai's condo? It has two bedrooms," Bone blurts out. The condo's owner looks up, thinking about it. It's not like he's not generous with his friends. To friends, he always gives it his all. He's only mulling over it because he's worried about the girls he'll bring to his room. Bloody hell, I don't want to get hurt, but I gotta carry on to the end.

 

"You don't need to be stressed over it, Khai. I can stay at Too's and Bone's rooms for the time being, though my stuff might be scattered in your rooms. If some things are lost, it's okay; I'll just buy the new ones."

 

Did he buy it? Do I look pitiful enough? Seeing a sympathetic expression on Khai's face, I grin on the inside. Too much closeness led to love. We're already so close there's barely space between us, but it's all right; I want to be closer.

 

"Or should I sell my car and use that money to pay rent..? All right, it'll be tiring, but I can take a taxi or the Skytrain. It's okay."

 

I glance at the hot guy beside me. Did he fall into my trap???

 

"All right, all right. Stay with me."

 

"You mean it?" Yeeeeeeeees.

 

"Yeah. I won't leave you struggling by yourself, buddy, but you gotta understand about my girls, okay?"

 

"Easy-peasy."

 

"I'll help you move in today, then."

 

"We'll go, too!" My two best buddies chime in.

 

"Ah. Is it really okay?" But I packed everything last night. All that's left is moving in, yaaaaaaaaaas.

 

After classes, we all move my stuff from my room to Khai's condo, his love nest with whoever I don't know. It must be hard for me when he brings a girl here, but whatever, I've already come this far.

 

Too and Bone go back to their rooms after they've helped me move in, leaving Khai and me to unpack my stuff and put things in order for about an hour. Before I know it, my best friend's tall figure is nowhere to be seen. I look for him at the balcony and find him smoking there, all chilled-out and cool.

 

"Did helping me unpack stress you out?"

 

"I was thinking, will you feel uncomfortable when I bring a girl here?"

 

"How many years have we been friends? Plus, we'll sleep in different rooms, so don't worry."

 

"But there's only one bathroom, buddy." And it's in his bedroom. I hold out my hand for a cigarette, and he hands me the one he was smoking. I take it and suck in without saying anything, just blowing out the smoke. My head is also empty. Damn me! What if he's fucking someone when I need to take a shit? My heart will definitely be shattered into pieces this time.

 

"I'll use the bathroom downstairs, then."

 

"Don't be ridiculous. Whatever, we'll figure it out."

 

"Um."

 

"Wanna take a shower?"

 

"Perv, why did you ask me?"

 

"The fuck are you thinking, dumbass? I'm telling you to go first, not together."

 

"Oh, yeah?" I thought I would get to peek. 

 

Awwww~

 

"Give it back, I'll smoke that one."

 

"Light a new one."

 

"Too troublesome. That's enough for you. Don't smoke too much."

 

"Aight, aight. So stingy." I can only pass the white cigarette back to its owner. He actually likes to order me. On the day we smoke, if he smokes two cigarettes, I'll only get one-one cigarette deducted from the amount he smokes in a day.

 

I take off my clothes and put them in the laundry basket, then I wrap myself with a towel and walk to the bathroom as Khai goes into his room. I haven't started showering because I'm busy looking at the products on the countertop. I've never really had time to look at what he'd bought when I came to his room until I got to live under the same roof with him today.

 

"Can I use your skincare products?" I ask jokingly, but he pokes his head in the bathroom and answers quickly.

 

"Yup."

 

"And your perfume."

 

"Spray it as much as you please. Just don't make the girls confused about which one we are."

 

"Your hair gel, daaaaaaaaamn."

 

"Wanna use it?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"If you're going to share everything with me, then give yourself to me in exchange."

 

"Oh, all right, sir. Do you want my body or my heart?" I say half-jokingly. Khai shakes his head, smiling. What an obscene face he has. It's like he's always ready to fuck.

 

"Fucking flirty."

 

"I'm not flirting, just kidding, you know."

 

"Don't do this to anyone."

 

"Why?"

 

"They'll fall for you."

 

Awwwwwwwww. Everyone falls for me except you, my sweet mothafuckal

 

This is the first night I'll spend in Khai's room indefinitely. I'd normally stay over not over two nights, when I was drunk and when I had projects to work on. Now it is different, though. Lots of feelings fill the air. Too's various plans pop into my head, but I won't pull any of them out now. Let's wait and assess the situation first. Khai is my friend, after all. I don't want to lose him.

 

The weather was very nice on the first morning. The first girl knocked on the door at about six o'clock. She appeared in a close-fitting white shirt so tight around her boobs and a pencil skirt so short you could almost see her underwear. Ever since I was born, I only remember my mom waking me up in the morning. But Khai has these girls with big tits waking him up, one person a day, seven girls per week, in all different colours like home colour palettes.

 

I got to see more of his playboy side. All of his girls were freaking hot. However, on the days I didn't hang out with Bone and Too outside, I wouldn't see any of his girls in the room, except in the morning when they came to wait for him at the door, unlike today.

 

Knock, knock.

I frown for a while before looking for the owner of this room. The sound of water coming out of the shower head tells me he's taking a shower. It's almost 9 p.m. now. If those two extreme fuckers want to come here, they'll always ring up first, so it's not the case. Not wanting to shout to Khai, I get up from the sofa to open the door for whoever is waiting outside.

 

"Khunpol, helloooooooo~"

 

Holy fuck, who is this? The moment I open the door, BAM! It's not a bomb, everyone, but a pair of boobs! They're bigger than my head, for goodness' sake.

 

"Uh..."

 

"Oh, Third, where's Khunpol?" She even knows me. Well, it'd be strange if she didn't know the members of the Extreme Gang when she was hooking up with Khai. What do I do now?

 

"He's taking a shower."

 

"Aaaaaaaaaah, why is he doing that right now? Can I come in?"

 

"Well, yeah?" A voluptuous figure with tight boobs and ass moves slowly into the room before plopping down her beautiful butt cheeks on the sofa and giving me a smile. Hell yeah...he's got such good taste. She's the best one I've met so far.

 

"Water?" I ask, about to turn around, but then I have to halt.

 

"It's all right. I'll wait for Khunpol and go out with him." Oh, so they have a plan? But yeah, I won't meddle in his love life. I can only love him silently and care for him from afar like this.

 

We're in dead silence for almost fifteen minutes, and, after a moment, the bathroom door is opened. I see Khai's tall figure stepping out of his bedroom, his waist wrapped by a towel.

 

"Khunpol, oops!" His girl is such a fake. She covers her mouth with her hand, but her eyes are about to pop out of her head.

 

"How did you come here? I told you to call first if you want to come," He says in a low, stern voice. I've never seen him use this voice on any girls.

 

"I wanted to see you. You said you were in your room."

 

"But it doesn't mean you can come here whenever you want. I said we'd meet outside because my friend was here."

 

"Hey, I'm fine. You guys do whatever you want." 

 

I'll just sit here and watch. Let's see if they're gonna screw in front of me. They'll be fucking shameless if they do it.

 

"See? Third doesn't mind."

 

"My friend doesn't, but I do. Don't cross the line."

 

"You said you liked me."

 

"I like you, but I also like other girls." 

 

What a fucking douchebag! I'm at a loss! How many girls did you tell you liked them? Or did you just point a finger and they ran to you? Let's pay attention to the girl first. She's sulking right here.

 

"Will we go out or not?"

 

"Why are you angry? You've never spoken to me like this."

 

“I'm angry because you crossed the line. Next time, don't come to my room anytime you want unless I tell you to."

 

"Then I won't go out with you today. I'm upset."

 

"All right, as you wish."

 

And then Khai goes right back into his room and shuts the door, locking himself up. I've never seen my dear friend this pissed off. It's true that he loves and cares about all his friends, but I've never thought he'd be so protective of his room for me, a friend who asked to sleep there. Or is it because he's decided not to engage himself in a serious relationship? That's why some of his conditions and rules of affection have changed into what I just saw.

 

"Uh.."

 

"I'm leaving. See you later." She leaves before I can say a word. I'm left alone sitting in front of the TV. Almost five minutes later, the tall figure walks out of his room in new clothes.

 

"Let's go."

 

'To where?"

 

"I called Bone and Too. Let's go eat something."

 

"Where?"

 

"The club."

 

"Are you fucking serious?"

 

"Though I'm in a bad mood, the strippers still need money."

 

"Why didn't you go with her?"

 

"I hate rule breakers. End of discussion."

 

"Did I bother you because I'd moved in?" 

 

I feel guilty. Should I call off the plan I've been carrying out so far? Because I really feel sorry and sympathetic to him right now.

 

"What kind of person do you think I am?"

 

"A douche."

 

"Fucker."

 

"Depends on what I see."

 

"Then you should see who I'd choose between friends and girls."

 

"You'd choose friends?"

 

"Nah, I'd choose girls."

 

"Why did you bring this up, then? Asshead."

 

"But if I have to choose between you and girls."

 

"You'd choose me?"

 

"I'd still choose girls."

 

"Fuck you, man! What's the point of this? Then where would 1 be?"

 

"Here. I'll use you as I see fit."

 

"How?"

 

"I use my body with girls, but for you, I have to use my heart."

 

wwwwwwww."

about the faculty activities."

 

"Are you happy now? Hurry up. If those two pricks grumble about us taking too long, you gotta pay. They also want to talk

 

"Okay!"

 

Always a sweet talker, this douche. I know he speaks like this to others as well, but I don't care. Hearing those words makes me happy.

 

The life of third-year students is chaotic. Each year, the Faculty of Comm Arts throws work at their students as if we don't pay our tuition fees to study but to use them on our group activities. The list of events explicitly scheduled since the beginning of the semester includes the Comm Arts Stage Play, short films from each group, and the Comm Arts Songkran festival, not to mention many other activities not yet listed in the schedule. We'll be wiping off our sweat like crazy from all the work.

 

This week, we've got a big project called 'Nitadel Fair,' an event where Comm Arts students from every year will run booths and organise activities to entertain other students. The money from the fair will be contributed to the student union's common purse, which will later fund our annual stage play. And so, the Extreme Gang will definitely open a booth like everybody else.

 

"What's our number?" Bone asks, and Too shows him a picture from his phone.

 

"Booth B17, next to the bleachers, between the Lucky Draw booth by Brees, fourth-year, and the Dunk Tank booth by a first-year group."

 

"Holy fucking shit, we can't lose to them." Khai joins in.

 

We're serious about this because there's a competition regarding the final amount of money we earn after deducting necessary expenses. The top five booths with the highest total revenue will be published in the faculty's monthly magazine and will have the privilege of using a studio without having to reserve or queue for three months.

 

This is not a laughing matter. It's not for the studio that we've been fighting tooth and nail for many years, but it's for our pride to proclaim that we're the aces of the faculty.

 

"I did some research. Most of the faculty's princes will sell things like drinks and meatballs. Some will open a photo booth. The super dope one is busking," I say, all serious.

 

"Daaaaaaaaaaamn, what do we do, then?"

 

"What about harsh movie reviews?" I suggest, and they ask me about it curiously.

 

"What's that?" Not waiting for any more questions, I turn to look at my dear friend, Khai, a regular of a late-night movie theatre. We know what to do without having to say anything much, so I get myself in the mood real quick and shoot Bone and Too the world's fakest smile.

 

"Hello, everyone. Welcome to our annual Nitade fair. I'm here with a special guest you guys haven't been waiting for. Please welcome Khunpo...o..olo..."

 

"Hilltitiiiii." Khai presses his hands together at his chest to greet everyone; by his sides stood two guardians of indecency, Too and Bone, who have no choice but to clap for our show.

 

"Here's the thing: I got a chance to watch a movie days ago because it was trending on social media, and so I'm holding a hardcore movie review activity. Join our activity for only five baht. Give the right answer, and you get a doll. Give the wrong one, and it's just a waste of money. Shall we begin?" 

 

I look at Too, who has to act as our participant.

 

"Bring it on."

 

"You need to guess what movie Khai is talking about. Start now!" 

 

I pass the buck to the handsome dude next to me. He swiftly catches it and carries on enthusiastically.

 

"This movie, in my opinion? Well, it's good, good as fuck."

 

"..." 

 

“I fucking wanted to pat the viewers on the shoulders and tell them that it's okay. It's just another black hole in your life. You've gotta live on. The bright lights await. You just need to get through this nightmare."

 

"Is it that bad?"

 

"Oh, Mister, the movie is absolute shit, and the plot doesn't make any fucking sense. Why the hell does the female lead have to build the boat and sail up the Yellow River? You think if you adapted something from Titanic, it'd be romantic? What a waste of money. I got a half-price ticket but still wanted to cry." 

 

When Khai finishes, I continue immediately.

 

"Ah, so that's the review. You gotta answer now, Mister Too. What's the name of this movie?"

 

"You shit."

 

"Wrong, it's Single and lonely, But He Doesn't Understand."

 

"I didn't guess the name. I said it to you, you shit. The fuck with that activity? Quit it."

 

And that first activity is a failure as always. We've been thinking about it for almost half an hour but are still at a loss, so Bone just ends the topic by forcing us.

 

"Just sell something, shithead. So picky."

 

"It's not unique. There should be a story."

 

"Story my ass. The highlight won't be what we sell but my face. I, alone, can lure half the campus's girls." 

 

You vain dickhead. Don't you have a mirror at your house?

 

"If we sell something, then we'll be no different from other booths. Who would want to buy our goods? Things like this need an allurement." Too goes on, his face saying he's pretty sure he got an idea for us to make money.

 

"What allurement?"

 

"Gotta sacrifice ourselves a little."

 

I didn't know what he meant at first, until the day Nitade Fair began, and everything became clear...

 

'Big Bold Men's Sausages. Sausages of all kinds. Perfect short size or super yummy foot-long. Sold by super yummy sellers who'll make you ask for more.'

 

Is this our shop's slogan or a dildo advertisement? It should be rated R. I've only heard the word 'Rent boy,' but here I am, 'Sausage boy. Well, I gotta sacrifice something to become one of the top five, even...

 

"Aaaaaaaaaah! Extreme, can I take a photo with you?"

 

"Sure thing." Khai puts his cheek close to a pretty girl's and smiles so widely the corners of his mouth are about to rip while some girls are writing something on Too's and Bone's shirts. I have one duty: grill sausages. What a bunch of shitholes. Fucking parasites.

 

"Third, how much is it?" A girl standing in front of me gives me a bashful smile, looking very shy. She's not alone, everyone. Her two other friends stand beside her, looking just as shy.

 

"Forty for this one." I hand her the sausages in a clear polypropylene bag right away.

 

"Pardon?"

 

"Forty," I say tersely.

 

"Can't hear yaaaa."

 

"Will you take them or not? I'll fucking eat them myself if you don't." She thrusts the money in my hand instantly. 

 

Don't flirt with me or I'll get pissed. I'm already infuriated with those parasites. My reputation for rejecting people in an extremely straightforward way has never changed. I can do some fan service if I'm asked to, you know, as long as it's not too much.

 

Since those three idiots have many fans, Too came up with his own marketing principles: we don't just sell sausages, but also our looks. We kinda have to sacrifice ourselves because we have to do whatever we're asked to: sing, take selfies, hug, kiss on the cheek, and now they want to write on our shirts. Our white shirts are now stained like the super colourful shirts we wear on Songkran.

 

Khai has it the hardest; there's no space left on his shirt. Most of the messages are long-held love confessions. I also have some on my shirt. The juniors wrote on me like crazy; they almost jabbed their pens into my butthole. Good thing I stopped them in time.

 

"Khai, sing for me, please." An anticipating sound rises up not far away, making me grill the sausages and listen carefully at the same time.

 

"You're beautiful every minute I've been with you."

 

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Khai, stop it!"

 

"Hahaha." 

 

Wouldn't miss a single chance, huh?  He said I'm flirty, but he's ten times worse than me.

 

After chatting with the customers for a while, Khai comes back to help me grill the sausages, leaving Too and Bone helping each other sacrifice themselves.

 

"They sold so fucking well," he says proudly.

 

"All because of me."

 

"It's actually because of me, but since you grilled the sausages, I'll let you off once."

 

"So damn happy."

 

"You're always harsh to me. All right, you can ask me to do one thing, whatever you wish."

 

"What are you trying to fucking pull?

 

"Come on, just tell me."

 

"Sing for me, then." 

 

He rolls his eyes, pondering, then he coughs and starts singing with an obnoxious voice. "At the black sea, there's no electric pole~"

 

"The fuck with the lyrics!?"

 

"Hahahahahaha. It's not funny?"

 

"So funny I'm speechless, lameass."

 

"Khai, Third, I'd like to have some sausages. Give me a long one, the same size as yours."

 

"Wait, what sizes?"

 

"The sizes of your bodies, babe. What did you expect me to think of when both of you are so very tall? What a disgraceful mind you have. I also want to write on your shirt, Khai."

 

"There's no space left on his shirt, bitch. Can we write on Third's instead?"

 

"Of course."

 

"Awwwwwwwwwww~"

 

After the gang of our senior ladyboys took us for a visit, the four of us, the Extreme gang, barely had time to breathe. Nitade Fair starts at 6 p.m. and ends at 10 p.m. It's held for two days, so of course, I gotta do all of this again tomorrow, selling sausages til we have nothing left to sell.

 

Students majoring in Performing Arts perform on stage, continually surprising people. Recreational activities and games take place all around here. Everyone's making a considerable amount of money, aiming to achieve the first rank. 

 

Big Bold Men like us are no different. Our sausages are already sold out at 8 p.m. There's one left because someone forgot to take it, so I have to eat it as we're waiting to close the booth.

 

"Is it good? Give me a bite," Khai says evenly.

 

"I bit it. Wait for the new one tomorrow."

 

"I don't mind." He snatches my sausage and shamelessly puts it in his mouth.

 

“I spit on it. Forgot to tell ya." His face drops, but he's still quick to reply.

 

"That's all right. I don't mind swallowing your saliva."

 

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, just kill me! End me right here. How can I stop liking him when he keeps acting like this? Hands on my chest, feet on my face, screaming fuck' at the top of my lungs, but damn, the butterflies are going crazy in my tummy. I wanna cry. All good things must come to an end. All good pens must run out of ink.

 

After I've done loading everything into Bone's car, everyone is ready to go home. Khai tagged me along this morning because he was afraid someone might try to steal his dear Chawee since there's no secure parking space. Too and Bone got here together, and they've left first because they have to marinate sausages. There are only Khai and me right now. We're walking to my car, and then we halt.

 

“Khai, oh shit, here's a gorgeous girl with pink highlights.”

 

"Yes?" 

 

My fucking best friend answers with such a sweet, suggestive voice. After selling all the sausages, he's still got the energy to hook up, huh? My heart suddenly shrivels like a spoiled sausage.

 

"You said you'd send me home."

 

"I came here with this monkey." He points at me. So I'm a monkey now?

 

"I'm sad."

 

"I can still send you. Third, wait for me at your car." The last sentence is meant for me. I can't stop him anyway, so I just nod and walk away, head hung low.

 

Too, you might not know. Khai went out with another girl today who has pink hair. I've only imagined things all this time. I said I wouldn't be sad if he went out with someone else, but I still can't stop feeling this way. It's been this way since I started liking him. I've never really gotten any stronger.

 

I keep walking, my mind wandering. It's like someone has turned off a switch in my head, but then it's switched on again by the sound of someone half shouting, echoing through my mind.

 

"You've walked past your car, Mister Third."

 

"Huh?"

 

"A couple steps more, and you'll reach Pathum Thani, dumbhead." So sarcastic to me.

 

"Haven't you sent her back?" I ask, curious.

 

"I have. At her car."

 

"That's it?"

 

"You're asking too many questions. Hurry up. I wanna take a shower. So fucking sticky." My sadness a few seconds ago has disappeared completely. I'm so happy that he chose me at last.

 

We have to walk back to my car. Khai takes the driver's seat. I drove us here; now he's gotta drive us back home because my arms are tired from grilling sausages.

 

"It fucking sucks. My shirt's ruined." The car hasn't been started yet, and he's already complaining. His hand reaches out to turn on the car light and observe the abstract, lined pattern on his white shirt.

 

"Why complaining? Look at mine."

 

"Fricking hot."

 

*Only a few messages for me. The ones all over my armpits are for you." Because there's no space left on his shirt. Even his clear buttons are deliberately written on by his fans. And who had to go through all the trouble for him? Me.

 

"Well, I'm handsome."

 

"And a flirt."

 

"A player, my friend. That's why there's a love confession for me on your shirt." His big hand pulls up my shirt collar. I shoot a glance at it and see, not very clearly, that it is as this smug idiot said.

 

'Love Khunpol

 

"Who could be so blind? They must've been under some spell."

 

"Please understand that I'm a hot guy. A noob like you will take a long time to keep up. Don't wash your shirt yet, okay? Keep the love confession for me."

 

"I'm not a noob. Look here." When it comes to showing off, I'm second to none. I show him pink letters on my shirt pocket right away.

 

"'Like Third' That's it?!"

 

"There's more, wait." I sweep my eyes over my shirt, but it's hard to read because the letters are upside down. Then I hear my dear friend's deep voice. "Third's cute." Look at this customer complimenting me...

 

"So what?"

 

"Well, it's true," Khai stresses. Oh, my heart. I have to tell myself that he always says this kind of thing; there's no hidden motive here.

 

"Sweet talk."

 

"I'm a sweet person."

 

"You'll say this to someone else."

 

"So?"

 

"There are hundreds of cuties out there. I know, you idiot."

 

"Don't think so."

 

"..."

 

"Just you."

 

Right then, my heart..

 

BOOM!!!

 

It explodes into shreds. JUST-YOOOOOOU