Theory of Love

 Being Fierce Is a Way to Express Love

 

Un and I stopped sniping at each other because it was time to go to class; otherwise, I would've kept at it until we had a winner. My friends helped me, too, but since I'm a cool guy and a gentleman, it's disgraceful to attack him with more people, so I went solo, sniping at him til my tongue was dry. But I felt bad for Third, who kept picking at his food until the war of nerves ended.

 

As always, from what I've randomly learned, if I want to sit next to Third, I have to let him choose his seat first. And so, when we walk into the classroom, I remain behind my friends as planned. When the target is seated, Too and Bone look at me knowingly and let a poor guy with a broken leg like Khunpol stagger into

the row of seats and sit down beside his loving friend.

 

Third glances at me and opens up his mouth like he wants to say something. Of course, a scumbag like me doesn't give him a chance to say anything, and so I blurt out.

 

"My leg hurts; I don't want to move much. Can I sit here?" I wear a sad expression. Being fake will help you conquer the world.

 

"I haven't said anything," He answers lazily.

 

"It looked like you wanted to say something."

 

"I didn't." Liar!

 

Do I have to open your mouth with my mouth? I wanna know if those lips are still as soft as the last time we kissed.

 

"Quiet down, students. We're about to start. Let's check the attendance first. Kittipong." 

 

The teacher ends our conversation. We reviewed the handouts from the previous lesson to prepare for today's lesson. I don't pay much attention to class, though. I'm busy looking at Third.

 

"Today, we'll move on to a screenplay, shooting script, and storyboard. Who knows what a screenplay is?"

 

The whole class is in silence. The teacher who's holding a microphone looks around as if she's trying to find a hero to answer, and that person turns out to be Third. Daaaaaamn, my future wife has an aura of a leader. He looks clever and smart, the total opposite of me.

 

"Techaphon?"

 

"It's the script of a movie, including plots and dialogues. Well, we can say that it's the script, master scene, or scenario."

 

"That's correct. What about a shooting script? It's also the script, but how is it different from a screenplay?"

 

I know that! I'm a master of film shootings.

 

"So?"

 

"A shooting script specifies camera angles, shot sequences, and other effects in the writing."

 

"You suddenly look smart, Khunpol." The teacher compliments me with a smile.

 

"I'm given courage by someone."

 

"Awwwwwwww."

 

Awwwww, I'm shy. My classmates are teasing me, especially Bone and Too. They keep poking me with their feet. I feel so proud, as if I've become a kid again. I want to look clever and smart to someone like Third. He must be complimenting me in his mind.

 

The lesson today was fun. Some of Film Kids' classes are very stressful, some are full of nonsense. During this class, the teacher and students take turns asking and answering questions, learning new things along the way. And then, a picture is displayed on the projector's screen.

 

"What will you compare this picture with, based on your point of view?"

 

The screen shows a picture of a light pink rose. Wanting to look cool to Third, my brain drives me to raise my hand.

 

"Compared with love."

 

"Ooo000ooocoooh." The room is loud with my classmates' cheer. I cough and continue.

 

"Love is like a rose. It's beautiful, but it has thorns. And though we know it'll hurt if we touch it, we still want to know about love, just like how we want to possess a beautiful rose."

 

"Fucking cheesy." Too cuts in. I almost plunge forward and punch the shit out of him.

 

"Your answer is so 70's era movies. But let me tell you something, this is a picture of a thornless rose."

 

"Haha, stupid!"

 

Fuck! And I put so much effort into getting everyone into the mood.

 

"This is one of the mistakes a scriptwriter should keep in mind. It's studying and observation. Make sure to take time and pay attention to the details, understand?"

 

"Yeeeeees." The laughter doesn't seem to quiet down even though the teacher's done with the topic. It doesn't hurt me as much as Third's mocking eyes, though. It hurts to the core of my heart.

 

"Love is sometimes like a flea, isn't it, my friend?" Bone says.

 

"Why?" Too plays along.

 

"It doesn't only hurt us but also makes us look disgusting."

 

"Arrrrigh, you're not just a worthless creature, but a disgusting and worthless one."

 

Damn it! I'm so embarrassed that I don't know where to hide my face.

 

"Why are you laughing, Third?" My brain doesn't focus on these two Extremes anymore. My mind leans towards the person on my right.

 

"Nothing? Did I laugh?"

 

"Don't act innocent. We have to learn from our mistakes, you know."

 

"Big mistakes make you look stupid."

 

"I'm stupid, then."

 

"You won't argue with me?" Third frowns, 

asking me in surprise.

 

"I'll be whatever you want me to be."

 

"I want to be your everything."

 

BAM! This one is smooth....

 

"Khai."

 

"Yes?"

 

"Can you be a chamber pot for me? I want to puke."

 

You punk! Have you ever felt shaken by my moves, Techaphon? I've done everything to win your heart, but it feels like I'm standing in place, leaning backwards. I really want to cry...

 

After classes this evening, Third, as a slave of mine, has to take me to the hospital to clean my wounds. Since it's a private hospital, we don't have to get irritated by a long queue of patients. Plus, I can implore my dear loving friend to come into the examination room with me.

 

The nurse has cleaned my wounds, and soon I'm brought to the examination room in a wheelchair. I grab Third's hand and pull him inside with me. We're sitting in front of the doctor who takes care of me. He starts asking.

 

"The nurse said you were naughty."

 

"Did I do something?"

 

"You wetted your wounds." I'm getting scolded again.

 

"I didn't mean for it to happen. It was hard because no one was there to help me," I say, making a sad puppy face. I'll think of this as a practice of my sly skill when I'm with Third.

 

"Your family aren't here?"

 

"I asked my family to let me leave alone at my condo because it's near the university, so my family can't stay with me all the time. But..." I turn to the person beside me and continue. "I have my best friend."

 

"You have Too and Bone," Third argues immediately.

 

"They're not like you. What have those two punks done for me despite giving me a headache for the past few days?" They can help me, actually, but well, I want Third to take care of me.

 

"What do you want me to do? Moving in to take care of you?"

 

"Will you do that?"

 

"I was being sarcastic!"

 

"Doc, you see? Look at my friend. Should I just stop taking a shower from now on?" I turn to talk to the older person who's shaking his head tiredly. He's probably thinking I've turned this room into Third's and my war zone.

 

"Not a good idea. Just bear with it. Keep your wounds away from water for the time being. Things will be better when you don't need to get your wounds cleaned anymore."

 

"I don't have anyone to take care of me until then. It'll be impossible for me to go anywhere because of my broken leg."

 

"Then don't leave your friend alone. You should give him strength. Doc talks to Third this time. He can only blink and nod unwillingly.

 

"I feel discouraged." Let's go all out for a win and stop in bed. Wait, no! "Your bones will be completely connected in three months."

 

"Physical wounds can be healed, but what about the wounds in my heart?"

 

"You're making my head hurt."

 

"But I also feel bad for my friend. I don't want him to get up early to pick me up and drive me places."

 

"It'd be great to get up and go to university together, am I right?" Doc asks, giving me a chance. He shoots me a look that says, 'Are you happy now?'

 

Come on! You'll be blessed if you help me sail my ship.

 

"You're absolutely right. Third, you see, Doc said you should move to my room to take care of me." I'm giving him no way out of this, but he doesn't hesitate and answers without even thinking.

 

"Tell your girl to stay with you."

 

"I cut them all off."

 

“Find a new one, the one who asked for your LINE ID. Give it to her quickly and stop being my burden."

 

"She's not you. I want to be only your burden, got it?"

 

"Er. Do you two want to talk it out first? I'll wait outside," says the third person who's sitting visibly in front of us, making Third and me stop arguing right away. The argument continues in our minds, though, and so, after the nurse has pushed my wheelchair outside, my dear friend scowls at me immediately.

 

“If you don't want to drive me home, just say it. I'll call a cab." It slipped out of my mouth. I don't know what movie I'm trying to imitate, but it'll be totally fucked up if Third really drives home alone. I hope there's still some compassion left in our friendship for a lame person like me.

 

"You'll call a cab?" See? I'm in trouble!

 

"Cabs aren't safe these days. Sometimes they're not available, sometimes they run out of gas. They don't drive you where you want to go. I guess I have to wait here with my broken leg."

 

"I’ll call you a Grabit taxi, then."

 

"I don't trust strangers. I read the news days ago about a passenger getting harmed."

 

"I'll call your sister to pick you up, then."

 

"Klear is so clingy to her boyfriend. She'll berate you for interrupting her with a call."

 

"Why don't you call your mom or dad to pick you up?"

 

"They're old. I don't want them to drive in this rush hour." Third sighs deeply. He looks down at me in a wheelchair, staring for almost a minute before speaking.

 

"So you want to go together?"

 

"Um."

 

"That's it. Why didn't you just say it? It didn't look cool at all." Well, I like you, and I've never had to try this hard to hit on someone.

“As you know, I’m the youngest child in my family, and I’ve always been fortunate. Ever since I was young, I’ve been able to get whatever I wanted. People I liked always liked me back. I always got everything I wished for without having to make an effort.”

But now that I've reached the turning point of my life where I have to be serious about something for the first time, I don't know what to do. Every step in my head is blank. I only have one goal: to win Third's heart. I don't think my goal is important anymore. I have to get his heart shaken first for now, since it seems like the hardest work in my life.

 

As always, Third's still my personal chauffeur. As soon as I awkwardly got into the car, we headed to the university. Today, I have to work with the sound team for the first time this month. We're going to choose the soundtracks and edit them for each scene. It's pretty serious.

 

"Don't change my song again," Third says after a long silence, and I realise I'm tapping my finger near the song button.

 

"I haven't done anything. Why are you being fierce?" I'm just tapping my finger....

 

"I'm listening to this song. Don't change it."

 

“..." I say nothing, just looking all over his body with some sort of feeling. It might be an appreciation of the cuteness I just saw.

 

"Why are your hands so white?"

 

"Leave me alone."

 

"Your eyes are also pretty. Wanna be my girlfriend, baby?"

 

"Stop flirting around first." Third glares at me for a second and quickly turns his face to the road.

 

"I've stopped."

 

"I see you're still doing it."

 

"I'm not flirting. I'm being serious."

 

"Are you playing me?"

 

"I've been playing you for over two years. I'm bored now; I think I'll stop."

 

"I’ll  take care of you instead."

 

"You can't even take care of yourself."

 

"Then we take care of each other."

 

I don't want to have a memory of seeing each other again after ten years and taking a group photo together. I want us to share our memories without taking any photos. We might get bored of seeing each other every day, but until then, we'd be so fucking attached to one another.

 

The car's driving at eighty. The songs continue playing all the way there. We don't say anything more. It's like we're both thinking about our own futures. I don't know if Third includes me in his future plans, but for me, he's top-grade material for my dream, and I hope it'll come true one day.

 

The atmosphere in the rehearsal room today is lively because every staff member from many teams has assembled here for the first time to coordinate our work, including sound, lighting, blocking, and photography, even though everything is only 30 per cent complete.

 

"Khai! Khailli." After I stepped into the room with Third, the seniors from the acting team shouted my name so loudly. They looked very excited. Many of the leading actors were sitting in front of laptops. It's like they're doing some fun activity.

 

"Khai, come here. We're broadcasting live video with our stage play's fans."

 

"I'm not the male lead anymore."

 

"Come and give an update. Your fans are worried." I look at Third as if to ask for permission, and he nods as an answer. I have to ask my wife first before doing anything these days. 

 

I stagger forward with my crutches towards the seniors and several junior actors sitting in front of the laptop.

 

“Khai, this is Fan, first-year. He's the male lead instead of you."

 

"Hi," he greets me. He's good-looking, in good shape, tall, and he's not one of the guys who auditioned for the male lead role. I have no idea how Bua found him.

 

"Everyone goes to practice first. I'll call all of you again after Khai's done." It turns out everyone flees when I come.

 

"Sit down, Khai. Everyone already talked to the viewers. I prepared questions for you, then you can answer the viewers' questions." 

 

I sit down on an empty seat, and now I'm right in front of the screen, looking at my own face like I'm looking in the mirror. Bua doesn't sit with me. He's standing behind the laptop with the script. And since no one cared to tell me we'd be broadcasting live video today, I'm kinda scared that he might ask shitty questions. This one knows a lot of my fucking secrets.

 

"Introduce yourself." The senior signals to me. I greet the viewers through the screen.

 

"Hello, everyone. It's me, Khai Khunpol."

 

"Lots of people are wondering why we changed the male lead. Did you do something bad?" I'mma kick your knee joint til it breaks, Berm. You always throw shit at a handsome guy like me.

 

"I had an accident, so I need to have a cast on for months because I broke my leg. I'm sorry for disappointing you guys." 

 

Many messages pop up continuously on the screen. They say they're worried and tell me to take care of myself. Some of them curse at me. They must be my old enemies. Let me wipe off my sweat.

 

"If you got a chance to star in the play again, which role would you play?" He asked another question after I answered the first one.

 

"The scriptwriter's boyfriend."

 

"I mean, the scriptwriter can give you a charming and good role."

 

"Oooooooooh." Everyone around me teases. Bua is the only one pursing his lips. What's your problem with me answering like this?

 

"What's your motto?"

 

"I might be dumb, but I'm tastier than everyone."

 

One shot to the heart!

 

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaa! Now the comments are skyrocketing. They're not compliments, though. My exes are cursing at me until their comments are scrolled away by juniors' comments. Those juniors have never tasted my unbeatable sword and still swoon over my top-class look.

 

"No more questions from me. You have ten minutes to answer the fan's questions. Go for it." I nod, and everyone around me leaves to do the rehearsal. I'm left alone to talk to the laptop like a nutter.

 

"All right, let's see the comments. I have ten minutes, so ask me whatever you want." At that second, the comments are shooting up like crazy. I have to choose only some of them. The comments I avoid are from the girls I cut off without a word.

 

‘Will we have a chance to see you at the bars?'

"No, my doctor told me to abstain from unhealthy stuff."

 

'Recommend your favourite movie.'

"Star Wars."

 

Where's Chawee?'

"Getting fixed at the centre."

 

'Take care of yourself. I'm worried. Get well soon.'

"I'll get well soon because I'm given the strength."

 

'Your leg's broken. Want me to be your chauffeur?'

"I already have one." 

 

I turn to look at the person crossing his arms and talking to Chen, the director. My eyes catch my number one enemy, Un, who's standing annoyingly between those two. When did you come here? This is fucking irritating!

 

'How do we get to see you, dude? You're not going to the bars anymore.'

"Come to the Comm Arts Building. I always hang out there."

 

‘The Extreme Gang's so cool, especially Bone!'

"Tell him yourself. He's been addicted to a massage parlour lately."

 

‘Who are you closest to in the Extreme Gang?'

"Techaphon, Third..."

 

‘What will you compare the thornless rose with?’

"Argh, you fucker!"

 

I hear laughter from the back of the room. My friends from the same major gather there. I guess they're having fun teasing me. And of course, I won't keep my image anymore. So annoying.

 

The comments continuously popping up are now questions about my previous relationships. I suppose it's my fault for never telling them why I cut everyone off. It was actually so damn many. In some cases, we both weren't serious about each other, so it was easy for me to cut them off. Now I know it's not easy at all.

 

If I want to end this real problem, I have to answer all these questions.

 

‘Do you have a girlfriend?'

"Not yet."

 

‘Why did you block my phone number and LINE?'

"I quit flirting around. I found someone I'm serious about."

 

‘Do you believe in fate?'

"No."

 

‘Who's the one you're serious about?'

"I won't tell you."

 

‘They say if you fold a thousand paper stars and give them to the person you like, your love will be reciprocated.'

"Who are they? I don't know how to fold a paper star. I'm not a detailed person."

 

I continue answering questions until I find this question...

 

'Have you ever done the ten-second test like in Dear Dakanda?'

"No."

 

In the movie Dear Dakanda, they believe that if you count from one to ten in your mind in front of a sleeping person and that person wakes up in time, it means that person likes you, too.

 

'Let's do it'

 

'Nobody's sleeping in this room.'

 

‘Do it with the viewers.'

 

"You guys are pestering me. Then let's do the countdown. Time's probably almost up." 

 

I take a deep breath, wondering why I have to do something like this. It's fucking bullshit.

 

"One…two...three… four…five...My eyes are on the screen, and I'm counting faster than normal. Many comments are popping up, helping me count. Huh, this is funny!

 

"Six seven.."

 

Do we have to be this serious?

 

"Eight."

 

Who would believe this bullshit?

 

"Nine."

 

"It's been ten minutes, Khai."

 

I turn my face abruptly to the person hovering over me. Third's face appears on the screen. Comments are flooding in, but the person standing here with a straight face has no idea what's going on.

 

"Did you count 'ten' for me?"

 

"Count what? Bua told me to tell you time's up. Fan and Pink will take it from here," he says and leaves, not knowing these many comments are mentioning his name...

Thilliiii

 

'Third said ten. OMG.'

 

‘Is this theory true? Nooooooo '

 

‘Third likes Khai?'

 

I don't know if Third likes Khai, but Khai likes Third...

 

A single day ended with exhaustion. Everyone worked really hard today, even Too and Bone. I feel bad for them. Their arms hurt from carrying the cameras the whole time. Third stuck with the scriptwriting team. I also didn't have any free time. I had to choose songs, edit them, test the sounds, make sound effects, and other damn stuff. I had a lunchbox the welfare team had provided. By the time we left and went home, it was nine! What a treatment a lame person deserved.

 

Third and I take the elevator and walk to my room, but it seems like he has no intention of getting inside. That's why I'm standing awkwardly at the open door.

 

"Won't you come in?"

 

"Nah," he says, shaking his head.

 

"So you're really not gonna stay here to take care of me?" I ask meekly.

 

"I've been taking care of you all day. Let me rest, you prick."

 

I feel like a timid kid falling in love. I usually threw myself at anyone I found cute. But this one, I don't even dare to touch his hands, awwwwwww.

 

"Then don't sleep late; you'll get hollowed eyes," I tell him.

 

"Don't wet your wounds."

 

"Dry your hair before going to bed, you lazy ass."

 

“Be careful when you're moving. Don't kick the bed legs."

 

"Don't wake up early and dive fast to pick me up tomorrow morning."

 

"If I come here late, make sure to eat on time."

 

"That's all I have to say."

 

"Um."

 

"See you tomorrow."

 

"See you."

 

"Call me when you reach your room." Third doesn't say anything to this sentence. He just waves me away and turns back, walking away, leaving his friend watching him until he's gone.

 

I take a shower and put on clothes carefully, then I lay down on my bed and turn on the TV, watching some stupid show even though I'm not a TV person. I only like watching movies. 

 

I'm so tired that it's hard to keep my eyes open, but I still look at my phone beside me.  There's no sign of someone I'm waiting for. I want to give him a call to check in on him and see if he's sleeping, but I don't want to startle him. I'm getting uneasy til I can't take it anymore. I call Bone to see if there are any updates. He answers after a moment...

 

What's up? Thirsty? This fucker always has sinful thoughts, though he's right.

 

"Thirsty my ass. I'm calling you to ask if Third reached his room. I'm worried. He hasn't given me a call." I blurt out, but Bone takes his time, not eager to answer.

 

[..Um, I don't know.]

 

"You guys live in the same condo. How come you don't know?"

 

[Mister Khai, we live on different floors. We split after we park]

 

"What should I do? I don't want to bother him."

 

[I'll ask Too.] 

 

Bone goes quiet. Good thing Too lives a few doors down from Bone's room, and he's the one Third bears his soul to. He must know something.

 

[Hey you.]

 

"How is it?"

 

[He's watching a movie in Too's room. Wanna talk to him?]

 

"Fuck, really? I'm not ready. I'm nervous."

 

[I don't give a fuck about what you're feeling. Talk to him.] 

 

My heart beats so fast. I've never thought my two-year best friend would affect my feelings this much. I get all jittery at the thought of talking to him. I get excited in front of him, but talking on the phone with him drives me crazy.

 

[Hey.] 

 

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK! 

 

You-Know-Who's talking to me. What should I do to calm myself down? Should I sing? Sing....

 

"Hamtaro! When we work together, it's so much better."

 

"My best friend...We like sunflower seeds."

 

[How am I supposed to feel?] 

 

He replied to me in a bored voice. My heart dropped, but I've calmed down a bit now.

 

"Why didn't you tell me you reached home? I'm fucking worried, don't you understand?" 

 

Thinking about why I called Bone, I used that against him.

 

[Too said you knew it.]

 

"Knew what? I don't fucking know anything." 

 

Too, you motherfucker!

 

He's driven me nuts several times. He'd try to get on my nerves every time he got a chance, and he succeeded again this time. I'm a dumb person who lets his friend mess with his head. Fuck! I'm mad. I find a remote control and throw it on the floor.

 

[Ah, I reached home. Can I hang up now?]

 

"Did you take a shower?" I try to keep the conversation going.

 

[I did. I'm lying down here and watching a movie with Too.]

 

"Where are you lying? On the sofa or his bed?"

 

[His bed.]

 

"Go back to your room."

 

[The hell is wrong with you?]

 

"What are you watching?"

 

[Fifty Shades of Grey.] 

 

It's not Third's voice. It's the owner of the room, the person I want to throw the remote control across the condo at his head right now. And look at him, why the fuck did he choose that kind of movie?!

 

"Too, you fucker, turn off the TV and send Third to his room." If he doesn't listen when I talk to him nicely, then I have no choice but to order him.

 

[What the hell? I want to watch the movie.]

 

"Why the hell are you watching that movie? We have morning classes tomorrow, split up."

 

[We have afternoon classes tomorrow. Got lots of time to sleep. I'll hang up now.]

 

"You trash, don't you dare hang up on me. Keep me on the line, or else I'll take a cab there to pull out your hair right now."

 

[All right! Ask Bone for his permission because it's his phone, okay?]

 

Of course, Bone lets me stay on the line, so tell him to stay at Too's room. Good thing he turns on the speaker. I wear my earphones while watching TV and listen to them on my phone.

 

Third doesn't speak as much as before, when he'd babble away. I only hear my two dear friends moaning 'Ooh' and 'Ah' as they're watching that damn erotic movie.

 

The clock on the wall says it's past midnight, and they hang up on me all of a sudden. I'm so shocked, and I've tried calling them again and again, but they don't pick up, which has left me frustrated for quite a while. After a few moments, the same number calls me back, but it's a video call, and the first thing I see on the screen is those two Extremes.

 

"What the fuck are you doing? Why did you hang up on me?"

 

[Shuuush..! He's fallen asleep. On my bed. There, there.] 

 

He lowers his voice and pans the camera to a small person sleeping on the bed.

 

"He must be tired. Don't bother him."

 

[It's my bed, buddy]

 

"It's Third's bed now. You go away and sleep on the sofa outside."

 

[Are you nuts? He always sleeps on the bed with me. Don't be stupid.]

 

"You're annoying."

 

[You must be jealous. Well, it's normal for a person who can't be here. Awwwwwww.] 

 

The first person I'm gonna punch in the

face tomorrow is Too, and then Bone. I'll get some blood out of their mouths since they make me jealous and I can't say it because I don't want to lose my pride.

 

"Don't bother him. Let him sleep."

 

[Come on. The battery's running out. Anything left to say?] 

 

The camera still shows the sleeping person's face. I like it every time I see his face, even though it's through the screen.

 

"Have a good dream. Ah, Third.."

 

"Why are you so cute?"

 

"Can I love you?"

 

[Nah, he's my friend. Go the hell away.]

 

The last thing I see on the screen before it's turned off isn't Third's face, but Too's toes in the last second. I throw my pillow on the floor beside my bed angrily. Why do they keep messing with me? I don't get it.

 

I wake up the next morning as usual. The only unusual thing is this thick cast weighing me down. I've had enough with a life like this. No more hurtling down the road like I'm on a water slide. My leg's broken, my bike's broken, my parents scolded me; what do I have left in my life?

 

After I successfully dragged myself off the bed, I stagger to the bathroom. I do everything carefully. I usually put on lotion and perfume, but now it's good enough that I can shower and get dressed by myself.

 

I usually have bread and milk for breakfast. Sometimes I warm up the food my mom put in the fridge for me, but since my leg is broken, I only eat and never buy more food. There's no more food box or bread this morning. You know Khunpol's stomach is the most precise organ in the world. I can't go to class without eating anything.

 

It's a pain to go down to buy food. I haven't done dressing up because I only have my shirt and boxers on. I look so pathetic right now, looking nothing like the hot guy of Comm Arts.

 

I open the fridge to look for something to eat. I found two eggs and a raw carrot. Should I try to nibble the raw carrot? With that thought, I take it out and wash it clean, then I take a bite.

 

Whoa, a granite has to kneel down to this carrot. Fuck, it's hard and tastes terrible. I'm afraid my intestines will be bruised someday if I keep eating this. I change my target to those two eggs in the fridge. Let's try to fry them for once.

 

I'm a dumb person with zero cooking skills. I've been surviving these days with instant foods, the ones you can just pour hot water into or warm and eat. Boiling or frying aren't my things. I'll give it a try today.

 

I have a stove that's never been used, a bottle of vegetable oil the size of a dog's dick, and two eggs. I'm gonna try to fry one of them.

 

I pour the vegetable oil into the pan and crack the egg into it. Silence... there's even no sound of oil splattering. The raw egg is floating inside the oil as if they've become one substance. Oh, I see, the oil hasn't boiled. 

 

Damn meeeeeeeeeee.

Knock, knock, knock.

 

There are knocks on the door as I'm cursing at myself. I turn off the stove and stagger to the door. This is like the path of heaven because it's brought Third here in front of me.

 

"Third."

 

"Um, are you done?" He attacks me with the first question. Take a look at me, Third.

 

"Not yet. I'm making a fried egg."

 

"Fried egg? You know how to do it?"

 

"I just tried, but the egg wasn't cooked." After I said that, Third walks straight to a small kitchen and looks at the egg's spirit floating idly inside the oil.

 

"The oil hasn't boiled. Why the hell did you put the egg into the pan so fast?"

 

"That's what I thought."

 

"You broke the yolk. It's all mixed up now."

 

"What do we do?"

 

"Throw it away." He doesn't wait for me to respond and pours everything into the sink nearby. He turns his cute face towards me and says evenly, "I'll make it for you. Go sit at the table."

 

"Don't forget to put the pepper on it."

 

"I know."

 

"I want tomato sauce."

 

"Am I your slave?" I don't sit at the table as he's ordered. I stand there, watching him cook like a pro. The Extreme Gang has four members, and the one who always cooks for us when we're hungry is Third. I've never cared about it before, but now I think it'd be nice to have someone cook for me like this every morning.

 

A fried egg is here on the table. It looks so good, not burnt, and it's the kind of fried egg that I like the most.

 

"You remember I like a fried egg over-well."

 

"Yeah, eat it."

 

"The pepper smells nice, and you put tomato sauce on it."

 

"You want a luxurious breakfast but have a low budget."

 

"Wanna eat together?"

 

"It's barely enough to fill your stomach. Eat up and get dressed so we can go to class."

 

"Sit down. You'll get tired if you keep standing." I press on until he obeys. Despite his annoyed expression, he still does what I've asked. So now I can only eat the fried egg and try to make a conversation at the same time.

 

"You watched a movie last night?"

 

"Um, with Too and Bone." I only remember those punks intensely dubbing the movie.

 

"Fifty Shades of Grey? What were you guys thinking?"

 

"I'm not a pervert like you."

 

"How long did you sleep in Too's room?"

 

"Til morning."

 

"Don't sleep over at other people's rooms from now on. Get home if you know it's gonna be late."

 

"Ordering me like that, are you my dad?"

 

"Can I be your darling instead?

 

"You got all those girls because you're like this. You can go fucking around like before. Give it your all."

 

"Argh, the yolk actually isn't cooked." Besides my handsome face, I should make use of my sly skill. I must avoid some topics during a conversation: One, girls. Two, my shitty past.

 

"You're a pain in the ass."

 

"I like it. Tastes very good."

 

"One more thing, I can't drive you home this evening. Bone will do it."

 

"How come?" I put down the fork in my hand and locked my eyes with his. I was in a good mood just now, and he ruined it.

 

"Chen asked me to have a meal together."

 

"Where? Don't you have a rehearsal? How can you go out to eat?"

 

"We're going after the rehearsal."

 

"Who else?"

 

"Why do you ask?"

 

"Un's going, too, right?" Third goes quiet, so! I guess I'm right. Why do people keep getting in the way now that I'm serious with Third? I got angry many times yesterday that I was in a crappy mood, and today, someone's taking him away.

 

"Third."

 

"Wherever I go is my business. When you went out and about, nobody has ever stopped you."

 

"I don't do that anymore, and you can stop me if I want to go out."

 

"Friends don't cross the line, so I won't do crappy shit like that."

 

My pent-up anger drags on from morning to evening. Everyone splits up to do their own jobs for the stage play. I'm with the sound team, but I admit I am distracted because every time I look at Third, he'll always be with Un, and I hate it.

 

We didn't talk much today. We both ignore each other, even though I can barely control myself. What do you call this feeling? Jealous? All right! I'm jealous.

 

"Fan, in this scene, you'll keep walking but look at the other side. When you reach the female lead, bump right into her." I hear Bua's voice from time to time. He's full of energy, so he doesn't seem so tired.

 

Chen is directing the acting. I'm in charge of the music for each scene. Third and Un are standing side by side, watching the male and female leads act.

 

"Wait, wait, that's not right, Pink. Do over." Chen orders.

 

The male character is Trin, the female character is Kaopod. People keep calling her "Pod, Pod, Pod, Pod, Pod" until they choke on their own saliva. Their meet-cute is at the library. They bump into each other like in those cheesy dramas' plots. The difference is they've done more than ten takes for this one scene.

 

"Fan, do over."

 

Five minutes later...

 

“It's still not right, Pink. Don't look at his face. You two aren't supposed to see each other. You must bump into each other first, then let your emotions flow." The longer it takes, the more stressed the actors feel, so Chen lets them take a break.

 

Third, since you wrote the female lead's parts, show her how to act out this scene. Khai, come here. Let me use the old male lead." My leg is broken, dude. But when I see Third, I don't give a single fuck at all.

 

I quickly get to my full height and stagger forward without crutches.

 

"It's okay if your leg's broken. I only want you to show the emotion through your expression, the expression of someone who's focusing on something and not looking at the path. Show your juniors how to do it." The bear-like human orders us.

 

Chen is a smart person, but he's so stupid today for making two extremely moody people confront each other.

 

"Third, give me the script; I'll hold onto it for you." Un volunteers. I roll my eyes. Of course, I can't hold my frustration inside anymore.

 

"Fan, Pink, watch this. Are you two ready?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Then start."

 

Third strides from the other side as I stagger towards him. Before we clash, we don't look at each other because we're acting. When my shoulder hits him so hard that he almost sways, our eyes meet at that moment, and I apologise to him as the script says.

 

"Sorry," I say first.

 

"It's okay," he replies. We're supposed to walk past each other to end this scene, but no, a jerk like me bumps his shoulder again. He turns to glower at me.

 

"Oh, sorry." I quickly apologise, though I did it on purpose.

 

Third doesn't seem to yield and tries to go off-script as well. He turns around to walk in another direction, but he stomps on my good foot so hard as he's doing that.

 

"Oops, sorry! I didn't mean to stomp on your foot."

 

You think I'll yield? I reach out and push his head, then I say the fakest words in the world.

 

"Sooorry, my hand accidentally hit you."

 

"Sorry, sorry."

 

He pushes my shoulder so hard I almost fall on my back. If my good leg hadn't had enough strength to support my weight, I would've fallen.

 

I stare at him with a straight face. I'm about to lose it now, but Third doesn't stop. He bumps his forehead into mine so hard that it makes a sound...

 

"Sorry, it wasn't on purpose."

 

I snap at that second. I grab his face and press my mouth on his soft lips so hard.

 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Everyone around us screams. I pull back from this stubborn person after a moment and speak in a voice that begs for a punch.

 

"Sorry."

 

"I did it on purpose."