The Missing Piece: 貌合神离

Chapter  8

 

Shen Mo only had a bowl of noodles on his birthday. He boiled the noodles in nothing but water, adding no ingredients. Along with some soy sauce, sesame oil, and chopped green onions, he ate the noodles alone in his small rented flat. If he hadn’t exposed the man’s identity yesterday, the current scene would definitely be different. 

 

Shen Mo looked at the present box on the table as he ate. It was an ordinary gift box, neatly wrapped and adorned with a beautiful bow on its lid. Imagining how earnest the straight-faced man must have looked as he chose this packaging, Shen Mo was somewhat amused.

 

Shen Mo had already opened the box last night. Inside it was a key and a note. The handwriting on the note, one he wasn’t familiar with, must belong to the man. An address was written plainly on the note—the address was located in Jinxiu Villa, a famous residential area in the city, known for its prime location and eye-watering prices. Shen Mo had heard of it long ago, but he hadn’t been there before.

 

Shen Mo knew how much effort the man must have spent on preparing the present. These feelings shouldn’t be treated disrespectfully. So he closed the box again and put it away, planning to make his decision once he figured out what had happened between him and Zhou Yang.

 

The sky still looked gloomy today. It seemed as if it would rain soon. Shen Mo looked out the window. The man must be waiting for him in Jinxiu Villa. For how long would the man wait? A week? A month? Or even longer?

 

Shen Mo shook his head and stopped himself from thinking further. After he finished the noodles, he looked up Zhou Yang’s number on his phone and called. Zhou Yang’s number remained powered off.

 

Shen Mo dialled the number over and over again. He felt that this had happened before, but he couldn’t remember anything about it. He could only give up. Instead, he contacted several high school classmates and asked them about Zhou Yang.

 

“Zhou Yang? I haven’t been in touch with him since we graduated.”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“I don’t know. You were closer to Zhou Yang, weren’t you? I used to see you two together all the time.”

 

Only one classmate said, “I heard he went abroad.”

 

The man had also said that Zhou Yang had gone abroad. If it was true, Shen Mo had no idea what to do next. He didn’t even know where Zhou Yang had gone. And he couldn’t go abroad to chase after Zhou Yang, could he? 

 

Although he had Zhou Yang’s family address in his address book, he couldn’t go straight to their home. He’d probably be kicked out the moment he reached the gates.

 

Did he and Zhou Yang have to end just like this, with no explanation whatsoever?

 

Shen Mo glanced at the box on the table before he made a few more calls, unwilling to give up. Of course, he didn’t hear any more news about Zhou Yang. It had been so many years since they’d graduated from high school. Most of his classmates came from ordinary families. They lived in a completely different world from Zhou Yang. In reality, Shen Mo was the same.

 

He knew that their relationship had been precarious. Every day, he felt as though he was walking a tightrope. If he weren’t truly in love with Zhou Yang, he could never have persevered until now.

 

At this point, Shen Mo suddenly remembered someone, a person who had helped him and Zhou Yang handle the procedures when they rented this place. Zhou Yang had said it was more convenient this way, and they wouldn’t be found out. 

 

Shen Mo recalled that the person, surnamed Fang, had been a middle-aged man wearing gold-rimmed glasses and a polite expression. Zhou Yang had called him Fang-shuiv and told Shen Mo that he’d worked at the Zhou family’s enterprise.

The person used to have quite a good relationship with Zhou Yang. He must know where Zhou Yang had gone.

 

With a goal in mind, Shen Mo could finally calm down. He went to bed early in the evening. Before he fell asleep, he glanced out the window. He seemed to catch sight of the familiar car, but the car disappeared again in an instant. It was probably no more than an illusion.

 

Shen Mo got up early the next day. He cleaned himself up and headed out. The Zhou family’s company building was in the city centre, so Shen Mo took a bus there. 

 

Once he walked through the splendid glass doors, receptionists welcomed him with sweet smiles at the front desk. Shen Mo walked over calmly, pretending that he had come for business. Indirectly, he inquired about Fang-shu.

 

“You mean Secretary Fang, don’t you? His office is on the sixth floor.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

After expressing his thanks, Shen Mo turned around and pressed the lift button. While he waited, someone else came through the doors. It was a woman with elegant features, wearing a befitting outfit and a set of pearl jewellery. She wasn’t young, but there was a sophisticated air to her. The receptionists all put on respectful expressions the moment they saw her.

 

The lift rang as its doors opened. Only after Shen Mo stepped into the lift did he realise who the lady was. She was Zhou Yang’s mother, Mrs Zhou, who was born to a wealthy family and went to great lengths to get what she wanted. Shen Mo had once seen her photo on Zhou Yang’s phone.

 

As Shen Mo walked into the lift, Mrs Zhou gave him one glance. Shen Mo met her eyes. His chest suddenly tightened. In the nightmares that repeated themselves over and over again, a scar-faced man had also looked at him in the same way, stepping on his hand with a grim smile as he said something in his ear. He couldn’t hear any sound in his dreams. Only now did he remember what the sentence was.

 

“We’re just teaching you a lesson this time. Don’t ever think of seeing Zhou Yang again. He’s out of your league.”

 

No—it wasn’t just a nightmare! It had really happened. He was abducted and beaten up, his fingers were crushed... And the Zhou family had been behind everything!

 

The lift stopped again. Not knowing which floor he was on, Shen Mo bolted the moment the doors opened. His head throbbed in pain. Many memories surged up, tangling his thoughts as though countless voices were talking right beside his ears.

 

“Get away from Zhou Yang!”

 

“Or your family will be in trouble next.”

 

“Mr Zhou went abroad with Miss Ji...”

 

Yes. And there had been a Miss Ji.

 

Pressing one hand against the wall, Shen Mo took a few steps forward. He saw an emergency exit, so he went back down using the stairs.

 

He remembered many fragments: he had been walking alone on his way home, and a car came up to him from behind… the abandoned warehouse, the endless torture… and in the hospital, he broke up with Zhou Yang on the phone…

 

As well as…

 

As well as the man who visited him in the hospital. The man had a handsome face and eyes as cold as the night. The man said that his surname was Ji, and that he was Miss Ji’s older brother.

 

No, no, no… That wasn’t the first time they met!

 

Even before what happened at the hospital, he’d seen that face. Only a few more steps remained on the staircase. Shen Mo was so absent-minded that he accidentally slipped and fell hard. The moment he crashed onto the ground, a scene flashed across his eyes—

 

In the abandoned warehouse, he was curled up on the ground. His right hand was badly hurt. Just as he thought he was going to die, the door that had been tightly shut suddenly opened. A ray of light shone through. The man outside the door stood against the light, his features blurred. 

 

Shen Mo saw the man walking toward him. Little by little, the man’s face grew clearer.

The man who had rescued him.

 

Shen Mo’s head ached even more, but he finally remembered the man’s name.

—Ji Mingxuan. Shen Mo woke up from his dreams.

 

The sun was almost down. The remaining sunset cast a warm glow on his body. He had taken a nap on the grass in the park, and pieces of grass were now stuck to his hair and clothes. He looked quite funny; passersby who saw him all smiled kindly at him. Shen Mo didn’t mind it, though, smiling back at them. He stood up and picked up the drawing board on the ground.

 

He had begun painting again several years ago, trying to use his left hand. He practised slowly. Even though he hadn’t yet caught up to his past self's level of expertise, he was satisfied with himself anyway. 

 

He had come out to sketch today, but the sunshine felt so good that he couldn’t help but fall asleep. He had never expected to dream of something that had happened so long ago.

 

After he packed away all of his tools, Shen Mo put on his backpack and strode out of the park. He had a studio on Yongning Road. When he’d broken up with Ji Mingxuan that year, Ji Mingxuan gave him the property. Later, he simply renovated it and opened a small studio. The business was neither good nor bad, but it was enough for him to get by.

 

Due to the rush hour, traffic was heavy on his way back. When Shen Mo reached the studio, the sky had already darkened completely. 

 

He’d hired a young girl to help him with the studio. When Yang Yue saw Shen Mo come back so late, a slightly irked expression showed on her face. “Boss, you were out lazing around again!”

 

Mild-tempered, Shen Mo put away his things as he said, “Sorry for coming back so late. Did I keep you from your date with your boyfriend? You can get off work now.”

 

Yang Yue had found this job after graduating from university. Having worked here for a few years, she was quite familiar with Shen Mo. She hurriedly reapplied her makeup as she asked, “What are you eating tonight, boss? Takeout again?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“Curry rice again?”

 

“Yeah,” Shen Mo replied, adding, “I like curry.”

 

“No matter how much you like it, you can’t have it every day.” Yang Yue put down her pressed powder. As though she had gone through it all, she advised, “You’re already thirty, boss. Isn’t it time for you to get yourself a girlfriend?”

 

Shen Mo was surprised for a moment. “I’m not even twenty-nine yet.”

 

But to spry young girls, what was the difference between twenty-nine and thirty?

 

“Twenty-nine makes you an old man already.” Yang Yue picked up her eyebrow pencil and filled in her brows. “The older you are, the less popular you’ll be when it comes to dating.”

 

Shen Mo replied, “I haven’t met the right person.”

 

“Should I introduce someone to you? One of my old classmates from college…”

 

Shen Mo hurriedly turned her down. “I’m okay.”

 

“I’ve been here for almost three years, and I haven’t ever seen you with a girlfriend.” 

 

Yang Yue suddenly leaned over, staring at Shen Mo as she asked, “Boss, don’t tell me there’s already someone in your heart?”

 

She had just pencilled in her eyebrows. Her two arched brows looked as dark as ink. For a moment, Shen Mo’s mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t answer.

 

Yang Yue was the kind of young girl who loved to gossip. At once, her interest was piqued. She guessed, “Your first love? Or your crush? Or a goddess you’ve been chasing after for years?”

 

As Shen Mo recalled that dream from not long ago, his heart started beating faster. But he’d already learned how to regulate his emotions. He still looked calm on the surface.

 

“No,” worried that Yang Yue wouldn’t believe it, or perhaps that he himself wouldn’t, he reiterated, “there’s no such person.”

 

Yang Yue couldn’t be fooled so easily. Just as she was about to dig deeper, she heard a honk from outside the door.

 

“Oh, my boyfriend’s here to pick me up. I’ll be off, then. Bye-bye, boss!”

 

Now that her boyfriend had come, Yang Yue immediately waved her hand. She left “old man” Shen Mo and dashed out with her handbag.

 

Shen Mo watched her leave before turning away to order delivery. He actually wasn’t terrible at cooking, but he was too lazy to cook now that he was living alone; delivery was more convenient. 

 

The curry rice soon arrived. After he ate dinner, he had to deal with some chores. There were almost no customers around this time, so he closed the studio, set up his drawing board, and continued working on his unfinished painting.

 

During his afternoon at the park, he had already completed most of it. Amid the silence of the night, it was also particularly easy to concentrate. He soon finished colouring the painting. Putting down his paintbrush, Shen Mo stepped back to look at it. He felt quite satisfied with how it had turned out.

 

But he still hadn’t signed it. Shen Mo hesitated for a while before he picked up his paintbrush again. He changed it from his right hand to his left, then back to his right. His right hand still trembled slightly as he held the paintbrush, but he tried his best to control his grip. One stroke after another, he wrote the two characters “Shen Mo.” The signature was a little different from what it had used to be, but the style remained the same.

 

Looking at these two characters, Shen Mo almost couldn’t help remembering that day a few years ago. He had opened the door of the study at Jinxiu Villa only to find a room filled with his paintings.

 

Some were work from university, some were commissioned portraits, and some were no more than doodles. He didn’t know how much time and money the man had spent on collecting these pieces.

 

... So that was the secret of Jinxiu Villa.

 

At that moment, Shen Mo knew he must have lost some parts of his past. After breaking up with Zhou Yang back then, Shen Mo had spent more than half the year in a trance. He wanted to ask Ji Mingxuan what had happened, but when he finally got in touch, Ji Mingxuan refused to see him. 

 

In the end, he could only visit the hospital. Only with the help of a therapist was he able to remember the past. He had once held the man’s heart, but he let go of it.

 

Back when he fell from the stairs, Shen Mo was taken to the hospital by the building’s security guard. Fortunately, he wasn’t seriously injured. Apart from some external injuries, he only suffered a slight concussion. 

 

He was dizzy for a few days, during which his memory was a mess.  Although he remembered having been abducted, he’d lost all memory of what had happened in the few months after it. And Ji Mingxuan... had truly become a stranger to him.

 

Later, when his lease expired and he was about to be on the street, Ji Mingxuan gave him a contract. Only then did the two of them cross paths again.

 

Once Shen Mo recovered his memories, he was eager to see Ji Mingxuan. He didn’t know how to contact Ji Mingxuan now that Ji Mingxuan was abroad, so he could only turn to Mr Chen. 

 

Mr Chen was quite kind. After some difficulties and communication, Shen Mo finally got in touch with Ji Mingxuan again. But Ji Mingxuan didn’t want to see him.

 

Only after Shen Mo contacted Ji Mingxuan a few more times did Ji Mingxuan reply to him through Mr Chen, “Don’t trouble yourself.”

 

Mr Chen also said euphemistically, “Miss Ji’s condition isn’t too good.”

 

Shen Mo felt a coldness in his chest. He knew that everything had already come to an end. No matter his lost memories or Ji Mingxuan’s secret love, Shen Mo didn’t need to pursue anything further. Ji An’an would always come between him and Ji Mingxuan. From now on, he and Ji Mingxuan would be in two different worlds.  They did not need to see each other again.

 

On the afternoon of that day, Shen Mo calmly thanked Mr Chen and left Ji Mingxuan’s house. As for the things Ji Mingxuan had given him, he used only the shop on Yongning Road. 

 

In the next few years, he opened a studio and started painting again. Time had passed by so quietly, almost as if he had never known Ji Mingxuan in the first place. It was just that he still dreamed of these things, once in a while. Shen Mo laughed at himself. Seeing how late it was already, he felt it was time to go home and rest. 

 

After hastily packing up his things, just as he was about to leave, he caught a glimpse of the calendar on the wall. It was already late January. A few days later would be the Lunar New Year, and after that, spring would begin. Shen Mo stared at the date for a while before slowly drawing his gaze back. 

 

He was a little absent-minded on his way home. Once he got back, he took a shower and opened up his laptop as usual, surfing the web. When he realised it, he had already booked a plane ticket. It was a ticket to a small overseas island on the fourth of February.

 

When Shen Mo told Yang Yue about this the next day, Yang Yue’s cheeks puffed up again. “You’re going abroad for a trip? You’re too lazy, Boss. You go out to have fun around this time every single year.”

 

Shen Mo could only say, “You can go on your annual leave when I come back.”

 

Only then did Yang Yue brighten up a little, asking, “Where are you going this time, boss?”

 

“The same place.”

 

“S Island again?” Yang Yue was somewhat surprised. “But it’s a honeymoon resort. Only couples go there. You’re single, so why do you still go there every year? Are you waiting for a love affair or trying to steal somebody else’s girlfriend?”

 

Shen Mo had a convincing reason. “I’m having an art block. I’m going to get some inspiration.”

 

As expected, Yang Yue had nothing else to say. She only asked, “When are you leaving?”

 

“The flight is on the fourth of February.”

 

Going through the calendar, Yang Yue said, “It’ll be the start of spring that day.”

 

She then exclaimed, “Huh,” and asked, “If I remember correctly, you always head out around the start of spring, boss. Is there some special meaning to it?”

 

As though she had picked up on something, she turned back to Shen Mo.

Shen Mo’s heart skipped a beat, but he still wore a smile. “Of course there is. Spring is the beginning of the year. Everything comes to life in spring. All kinds of flowers bloom. It’s a great time to go on a trip.”

 

Hearing this, Yang Yue didn’t ask any further. Shen Mo used this opportunity to tell her to make a cup of coffee. Not long after, Yang Yue brought the coffee over. Shen Mo hadn’t slept well last night; taking in the aroma of the coffee, he still felt somewhat sleepy. 

 

As noon approached, the shadow of the coffee cup stretched long beneath the sunlight. With half-closed eyes, Shen Mo gazed out the window; this was the most at ease he’d ever felt.

 

But amid the serenity, Shen Mo still felt that something was missing. No matter how happy he was, there was no contentment. Perhaps, just as Yang Yue had said, a certain name had rooted in his heart. It had sprouted and grown over the years, springing up whenever he wasn’t paying attention and sprawling across his chest.

 

He had never missed a person so much. Even if Shen Mo reached inside himself and pressed hard, so much so that his heart began to bleed, he would still be unable to suppress his feelings.

 

Shen Mo celebrated New Year’s quite simply. He gave Yang Yue a break, cooked a few dishes at home, and had dinner with a bottle of red wine. Since he was eating alone, no matter how exquisite the food was, it tasted just as bland and lonely as ordinary take-out did. He went to bed before the clock struck twelve. Wrapping himself in a thick blanket, he fell asleep amid the sound of firecrackers outside the window.

 

Right after New Year’s, spring would begin.

 

Shen Mo had been to S Island a couple of times, so he didn’t make an itinerary. He only changed some foreign cash and packed his suitcase. He had his hair cut the day before his departure. He had always looked young, and now that his bangs were short enough to reveal his eyes, he looked a bit younger than he was.

 

Just like… four years ago. Four years ago, Shen Mo had longed to go to S Island with Ji Mingxuan. But who could have known how much things had changed? In the end, he could only go alone.

 

Early morning, on the fourth of February, Shen Mo left home with his suitcase. It was a connecting flight; it took him over 10 hours to reach his destination. S Island was a famous honeymoon destination, best known for its beach, beautiful white sand, and blue seawater.

 

The hotel where Shen Mo would stay was situated on a cliff in the south of S Island. All of its suites and villas had been built along the terrain. 

 

Inside each room, one could hear the ocean waves drumming against the coast, and beyond the window, the entire ocean was visible; the scenery was spectacular. 

 

The room’s interior design was unique as well. It not only incorporated modern elements but also retained the naturalness of its surroundings. The hotel had been built not long ago; its investor seemed to be Chinese as well. Even though it was expensive to stay here, Shen Mo didn’t care much, as he was on holiday anyway.

 

It was already nighttime when Shen Mo arrived at the hotel. He first went to bed to get over his jet lag. Only the next morning did he get up and begin to enjoy the seascape at his leisure. 

 

He had chosen to come to S Island with some small and unspeakable hopes in his mind indeed, but the outward reason was still to get inspiration. So, after lunch, he brought a drawing board with him and toured the island.

 

Shen Mo biked around the small island village, lay on the beach to watch the sunset, and tried some local cuisine. He was having quite a good time these past couple of days. Of course, he completed several paintings as well, a few of which were especially eye-catching.

 

Shen Mo had planned to rent a yacht and go out to sea, but he was truly exhausted. In the next few days, he only rested in the hotel room and focused on painting. The hotel faced the cliff on one side and had a swimming pool on the other. At times, when he felt tired after painting, he would take a walk by the swimming pool.

 

It was rather sunny today. Shen Mo had nothing to do in the afternoon, so he went to the swimming pool after lunch, bathing in the sunlight as he thought about how to compose his next piece. 

 

As time passed, more people gradually came to swim. Shen Mo ordered a cup of coffee. As he sipped it, he suddenly heard someone call in Mandarin, “Mingxuan….”

 

It was a sweet female voice, lingering with coquetry. Shen Mo’s hearing went deaf for a moment, as if all sound had disappeared except for the two stark syllables. The tip of his nose sweated a little. He couldn’t help but stand up and look toward where the sound had come from.

 

What Shen Mo saw was an attractive woman in a swimsuit. She had fair legs and a shapely figure; her long, black hair looked especially beautiful. Her hand clung to a man’s arm; the man was Chinese as well and seemed to be in his forties. He’d already lost most of his hair, while his belly was as round as a ripe watermelon.

 

Oh. It wasn’t Ji Mingxuan.

 

Shen Mo relaxed completely. He laughed at himself for being so suspicious. The name “Ji Mingxuan” was extremely common; thousands of people shared it. How could he think that the man was Ji Mingxuan, upon hearing only the same name?

 

Watching the other man, Mingxuan, walk away so intimately alongside the swimsuit-clad beauty, Shen Mo couldn’t help but ponder: what was Ji Mingxuan like now? Would Ji Mingxuan have gained so much weight as well? Shen Mo immediately shook his head, reminding himself that they’d never see each other again.

 

With a mirthless smile, Shen Mo was about to sit back down. And yet, as soon as he turned around, the smile froze on his face. He saw Ji Mingxuan standing several feet away.

 

Ji Mingxuan, tall and well-dressed, looked better than Shen Mo remembered, gazing straight at Shen Mo. His features still looked so handsome, almost as if he stood beyond the bounds of time.

 

Shen Mo stared at him, unable to let out a single sound. Crowds clamoured around them; it was still the same exotic hubbub. 

 

A few blond-haired, blue-eyed children were playing around at the side. One of them, running from his friends and screaming, dashed straight toward Shen Mo. Still absent-minded, Shen Mo didn’t have time to dodge, and the boy slammed into him.

 

The scene unfolded like a series of car crashes. Shen Mo staggered a few steps back from the collision before knocking over the beach umbrella behind him. A waiter who happened to be passing by spilt the drink he was holding, and steaming hot milk poured right onto Shen Mo’s hand.

 

Everything happened in a few seconds, although Shen Mo felt as if someone had pressed the slow-motion button. His mind felt dull. Underneath the scorching sunlight, everyone’s movement slowed, and every detail stretched on. Amid the chaos, he saw Ji Mingxuan reveal a slight expression of surprise before striding toward him.

 

Only when Ji Mingxuan grasped his hand did Shen Mo regain his composure, perceiving the burning pain on his scalded hand. He finally called out, “Mr Ji….”

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t answer, only looking down at Shen Mo’s hand. Seeing the redness on the back, he couldn’t help but frown. Right away, he dragged Shen Mo away from the swimming pool and into the hotel.

 

They came across all kinds of people on their way, but Shen Mo didn’t think about anything. All he did was follow Ji Mingxuan.

 

Ji Mingxuan pulled Shen Mo into the bathroom and turned on the faucet to rinse Shen Mo’s hand. The cold water ran across the back of Shen Mo’s hand, splashing loudly. Shen Mo looked up at Ji Mingxuan’s reflection in the mirror and called again, “Mr Ji.”

 

It was then that Ji Mingxuan finally spoke to Shen Mo. In a gentle, soft voice, he said only, “Yes.”

 

The mere syllable calmed Shen Mo’s restless heart.

 

His head lowered, Ji Mingxuan examined Shen Mo’s hand. Its reddish skin turned a little pale under the cold water. Shen Mo said, “Mr Ji. It’s enough.”

 

Ji Mingxuan was still gripping Shen Mo’s wrist. “Rinse it a little longer.”

 

While he spoke, Ji Mingxuan looked up, glanced at Shen Mo, and quickly turned away. He said, “You haven’t changed much.”

 

With no qualms at all, Shen Mo looked at Ji Mingxuan in the mirror, tracing the side of Ji Mingxuan’s face with his gaze. “You haven’t changed much either, Mr Ji.”

 

Ji Mingxuan suddenly let go of Shen Mo and took out his phone to make a call. “Yes, it’s me… It’s probably a burn. Bring the first aid kit…”

 

Halfway through the call, Ji Mingxuan paused and ordered, “Keep going.”

 

Shen Mo could only keep rinsing the back of his hand with cold water. A few minutes later, the hotel’s manager hurried over with a first aid kit, respectfully calling, “Mr Ji.”

 

Ji Mingxuan gave a small nod. He said a few words to the manager before he found burn ointment in the kit. Observing the scene, Shen Mo immediately realised that Ji Mingxuan was the one who had invested in the hotel.

 

After sending away the manager, Ji Mingxuan turned back to Shen Mo and said, “It’s too dark here. Let’s go outside to apply the ointment.”

 

So Shen Mo followed Ji Mingxuan again and went back out. They took a seat on a sofa by a window in the lobby. Soon after they sat down, a waiter brought them some coffee.

 

Ji Mingxuan ignored the coffee. He took only Shen Mo’s hand and slowly applied the ointment to the burn, kneading as he asked, “Are you here on holiday?”

 

His tone was lukewarm, as if he was talking to a friend he’d known for years.

Shen Mo replied, “I started painting again. I came here to get inspiration.”

 

Ji Mingxuan nodded and said, “S Island is very scenic…”

 

Ji Mingxuan brought up some of the island’s local customs. Shen Mo was quite cooperative as well—agreeing with Ji Mingxuan, he mentioned the sunset on the beach and the seascape by the cliff. Both of them were a little preoccupied, and yet they somehow had quite a proper conversation.

 

Later, Ji Mingxuan paused before asking, “Did you come alone?”

 

“Yeah. I’m the only one with so much free time.”

 

“When did you get here?”

 

“Just a few days ago…” Shen Mo stopped, leaving his words unfinished.

 

What should he say? That he had deliberately come to S Island on Ji Mingxuan’s birthday?

 

Shen Mo felt his ears burn. He picked up his cup of coffee to conceal it.

 

The two were silent again. Shen Mo didn’t dare ask about Ji An’an. He’d heard about her back in China and found out that, three years ago, she had already… Ji An’an had been Ji Mingxuan’s only family—how dejected must Ji Mingxuan have been? 

 

Even Shen Mo had been dispirited for quite a few days. After that, Shen Mo hired Yang Yue, who had just graduated from college, also because her lively personality was somewhat similar to Ji An’an’s.

 

Ji Mingxuan applied the ointment delicately. But no matter how slow he was, he’d finish applying it sooner or later. When he finished, he scrutinised Shen Mo’s hand before saying, “It’s done.”

 

Shen Mo replied blankly, “Okay.”

 

Should he thank Ji Mingxuan or say goodbye?

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t let go of Shen Mo’s hand yet. He had an unfathomable expression on his face. Right then, there came the sound of footsteps.

 

Shen Mo saw a boy about three or four years old running toward them. He had black hair and fair skin with big, round eyes. Wearing a fitted suit, he looked far prettier than the Caucasian children at the swimming pool.

 

No adult accompanied the boy, but he ran straight toward Ji Mingxuan and flew into his arms. Looking up, he called, “Daddy!”

 

Ji Mingxuan squeezed the boy’s cheek and said, “Say it in Mandarin.”

 

The boy blinked. He seemed a little aggrieved, but he still stammered, “Ba. Ba.”

 

Shen Mo felt as though somebody had slapped him. Half his face went numb as he realised how ridiculous his thoughts had been. How could he not have expected this? Ji Mingxuan would never lack company.

 

At this point, a well-dressed, middle-aged woman who seemed to be a nanny hurried over. Ji Mingxuan motioned for her to leave, then picked up the boy and placed him on his lap. Pointing at Shen Mo, he said, “Say hello to Uncle.”

 

The boy was quite obedient. He eyed Shen Mo before he said, “Hello, Uncle.”

 

The boy’s features were still those of a child, although it was already clear that he had inherited the Ji family’s beauty. Wearing the little suit, he looked like quite the young gentleman. No matter how Shen Mo felt deep down, he couldn’t help but smile back at the boy.

 

“Hello.” Shen Mo reached out to stroke the boy’s soft, black hair, asking, “What’s your name?”

 

“Ning.” The boy wasn’t too fluent in Mandarin, but his pronunciation was rather accurate. “Ji Ning.”

 

“How old are you, Xiao-Ning?”

 

Ji Ning had dark eyes. He extended three fingers slowly and somewhat proudly, as if it were quite an accomplishment that he’d reached this age.

 

Shen Mo imagined that Ji Mingxuan must have been as proud as this boy during his youth. Shen Mo took a liking to this boy for almost no reason.

 

“Are you hungry, Xiao-Ning? Do you want some snacks?”

 

Ji Ning glanced at Ji Mingxuan and said, “Daddy doesn’t let me have snacks.”

 

Not at all shy, Ji Ning grabbed Shen Mo’s hand. “Uncle, play with me.”

 

Before Shen Mo could reply, he heard Ji Mingxuan say, “Uncle’s hand is hurt. He can play with you some other day.”

 

As Ji Mingxuan spoke, he looked at the middle-aged lady, who understood at once. Walking over, she picked up Ji Ning and took him away. Ji Ning seemed to like Shen Mo a lot, leaning out to wave. “Bye-bye, Uncle!”

 

Shen Mo followed Ji Ning with his eyes for a while before turning back to Ji Mingxuan. “Xiao-Ning is adorable.”

 

“He’s impossible at home. He only behaves when he’s outside.”

 

“Are you here on holiday as well, Mr Ji?”

 

“I came for business. There’s no one at home to look after Ji Ning, so I brought him along.”

 

Shen Mo’s face was still a little warm, but his heart had already calmed down. He said, “I didn’t know you were married already, Mr Ji. Congratulations.”

 

Ji Mingxuan studied Shen Mo for a moment before revealing a smile. Unconsciously, he used his right hand to touch his left. Shen Mo noticed that he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. Only a thin, white mark remained on his left ring finger, a result of constantly wearing a ring.

 

Shen Mo’s hand had a similar mark as well. Ji Mingxuan held up his coffee and took a sip, asking, “What about you? Are you still with Zhou Yang?”

 

Zhou Yang? Shen Mo almost forgot who Zhou Yang was. In truth, he could definitely tell a small lie. After all, Ji Mingxuan was living abroad; there was no way for Ji Mingxuan to investigate his love life. But he still told the truth, “I haven’t seen Zhou Yang in a few years.”

 

In fact, Shen Mo hadn’t contacted Zhou Yang ever since Ji An’an’s accident. He only occasionally heard some news. He knew that Zhou Yang had entered another arranged marriage with the daughter of some magnate.

 

“Oh—” Ji Mingxuan said meaningfully, “I thought you…”

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t finish his words, but they both understood. Shen Mo felt that Ji Mingxuan really didn’t know him well. After what had happened to Ji An’an, how could he have been so remorseless as to stay together with Zhou Yang? And besides… Jinxiu Villa…

 

Shen Mo took a deep breath before he said, “I’ve already been to the house in Jinxiu Villa. Mr Ji, I remembered some of the things that happened…”

 

Before he could finish, Shen Mo’s voice was drowned out by Ji Ning’s yelling. Ji Ning was playing with the other children; they had started a game of tag. Ji Ning ran and shouted, alternating between Mandarin and English, “Dad! Baba!”

 

The shout distracted Ji Mingxuan, who turned around to nod at Ji Ning. Ji Mingxuan was already a father, so naturally he’d put his child before anything else.

 

Shen Mo suddenly realised that things were different now. What was the point in mentioning what had happened so long ago? Was he waiting for Ji Mingxuan to introduce Mrs Ji to him?

 

Shen Mo felt as if he had downed a glass of cold water on a winter day. The heat on his face receded completely.

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t turn around again until he finished interacting with Ji Ning. He said, “Sorry. What did you just say?”

 

“Nothing.” Shen Mo smiled. “I said it’s getting late. I should head back soon.”

 

“Back to your room?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Let’s have dinner together,” Ji Mingxuan stated in the same tone he had used years ago. Whether pretending to be a couple or breaking up, everything had been up to Ji Mingxuan.

 

But Shen Mo didn’t listen to Ji Mingxuan this time. “I’ll be painting in my room tonight. You know, it feels awful to be interrupted when inspiration comes.”

 

Ji Mingxuan understood. “Tomorrow, then.”

 

Shen Mo replied, “All right. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

 

Shen Mo stood up and extended his arm to shake Ji Mingxuan’s hand. Momentarily surprised, Ji Mingxuan held Shen Mo’s hand gently.

 

Shen Mo whispered, “Thank you.”

 

Even he himself didn’t know why he was thanking him. And then Shen Mo fled. He didn’t paint when he got back to his room; he only opened the window and gazed at the sea. 

 

Time flew by. As dusk came, the sea bathed in brilliance. The sunset looked breathtaking from the cliff.

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t come to interrupt Shen Mo. He only had a waiter bring Shen Mo dinner and some burn ointment. Shen Mo saw a note by the ointment explaining how many times it should be applied each day. The handwriting belonged to Ji Mingxuan.

 

The last time Shen Mo had seen Ji Mingxuan’s handwriting was back when he’d found Ji Mingxuan’s present for him. A key and a note were inside the box. Later, following the address on the note, he found Jinxiu Villa and saw the study full of paintings.

 

If he had gone to Jinxiu Villa all those years ago and seen the paintings in that study, would everything be different now?

 

Shen Mo let out a long breath, relaxing his clenched fist. Perhaps this was fate. He always fell in love with that man at the wrong time.

 

The night was silent. S Island was as passionate and beautiful as always. According to Shen Mo’s schedule, there were still a few days left, but Shen Mo knew that this holiday would have to end early.

 

The next morning, Shen Mo got up early to book a return ticket. While he was checking the available flights, someone knocked on his room door. He was still wearing his pyjamas, so he hurried to change his clothes before dashing to the door.

 

Standing right outside the door was Ji Mingxuan.

 

It was still so early, and yet Ji Mingxuan was already dressed properly. The moment he saw Shen Mo, he asked, “How is your hand?”

 

Shen Mo was surprised for a moment. When he realised it, he had already extended his hand.

 

Ji Mingxuan took Shen Mo’s hand and examined it from every angle. Only after he made sure that there was just a small patch of red on the back of Shen Mo’s hand did he finally stop worrying. He said, “It’s mostly recovered. Remember to apply the ointment two more times today.”

 

Shen Mo could only agree to it. Ji Mingxuan asked, “What are your plans for today?”

 

Shen Mo thought Ji Mingxuan was going to invite him to dinner again, so he tried to find an excuse. “I’ll be painting in my room in the morning. I’m planning to take a walk by the beach in the afternoon.”

 

“So you’re free.” Ji Mingxuan nodded and said, “Do me a favour.”

 

As he spoke, he reached behind his back and pulled out a little boy with black hair and black eyes. He dragged the boy toward Shen Mo.

 

Today, Ji Ning was wearing a baseball shirt, athletic shorts, and a red baseball cap. Lively and endearing, he smiled sweetly when he saw Shen Mo. 

 

“Hello, Uncle.”

 

Shen Mo’s heart almost melted. He greeted the boy at once and asked, “How come you got up so early?”

 

Ji Ning lifted his head, glancing at his father with pitiful eyes.

 

Ji Mingxuan raised his wrist to look at his watch, saying, “I’m meeting with a client today. I have to leave in ten minutes.”

 

Ji Mingxuan paused. Looking at Shen Mo, he continued, “Help me look after Ji Ning.”

 

“What?” Still surprised, Shen Mo didn’t reply for a few moments. “But I don’t know how to take care of children….”

 

Of course, Mr Ji never let anyone turn him down. He immediately said, “The nanny will be there. You just need to watch him from the side.”

 

As Ji Mingxuan spoke, he stroked Ji Ning’s head.

 

And Ji Ning came over and took Shen Mo’s hand, blinking his wide eyes as he said softly, “Uncle, play with me.”

 

Beyond adorable, really. How could Shen Mo shake off Ji Ning’s hand? As Shen Mo hesitated, Ji Mingxuan already took Ji Ning’s other hand. Leading Ji Ning outside, he said, “Go to my room. I have everything ready there. If you need anything else, you can ask the nanny. I need to go out to sea during the day, and I’ll probably return in the evening, just in time for us to have dinner together.”

 

Although Ji Mingxuan wasn’t walking very fast, he was still walking at an adult's pace. Worried that Ji Ning would trip and fall, Shen Mo could only shut the door and hurry to catch up to them.

 

Holding one person in each hand, Ji Ning marched between the two. He looked rather enthusiastic.

 

Ji Mingxuan turned around to take a look at Shen Mo. The corners of his mouth lifted a little, and he slowed his pace. “Call me if there’s anything urgent. Ji Ning knows my number. Don’t you, Ji Ning?”

 

Ji Ning replied loudly in English. So Ji Mingxuan said, “You have to talk to Uncle in Mandarin.”

 

Ji Ning eyed Shen Mo before puffing out his chest and answering in a drawn-out voice, “Yes.”

 

Hearing the childish voice, Shen Mo couldn’t help but chuckle. He thought he might as well look after the boy for a day.

 

Ji Mingxuan’s accommodation was at the other end of the hotel. It was a three-bedroom suite with a spacious living room and a terrace. The furnishings weren’t luxurious, but they were exquisite—every detail seemed deliberate. 

 

As for the sea view, it was, of course, incomparably better than the one in Shen Mo’s room.

 

Ji Ning’s nanny was the middle-aged woman whom Shen Mo had already seen yesterday. She seemed meticulous and reliable, and she didn’t talk much either, only nodding politely when she saw Shen Mo.

 

Ji Mingxuan was in a hurry to leave, so he only said a few words to her. Right before he left, he told Shen Mo, “Ji Ning is quite spoiled, so that he may be a little willful at times. You don’t need to indulge him.”

 

Shen Mo could only promise not to. As soon as Ji Mingxuan left, it was as though Ji Ning was released from a cage. He immediately took off both shoes and threw himself onto the sofa with a scream. 

 

Only then did Shen Mo understand why Ji Mingxuan had said that everything was ready here; the sofa was filled with toys. There was only some food and daily necessities inside the room. No trace of a woman could be found.

 

Ji Ning’s nanny was surnamed Chen, so Shen Mo called her Chen-jie. He asked her, “Where is Mrs Ji? Didn’t she come along?”

 

Chen-jie’s lips were sealed. She said, “Mr Ji came here on business. He only brought the young master with him.”

 

Of course, Shen Mo couldn’t ask any further. On the other hand, Ji Ning was lying on the sofa, waving the Transformer in his hand at Shen Mo. “Hurry up, Uncle.”

 

Shen Mo couldn’t help but smile and walked toward Ji Ning. He remembered that he had also liked playing with Transformers when he was young. Who could have known that, after so many years, children still have so much fun with them?

 

The morning soon passed by. Ji Ning was quite obedient, and with Chen-jie watching from the side, Shen Mo didn’t run into too many difficulties.

 

At noon, a waiter brought over lunch. Ji Ning could eat by himself, but he still didn’t know how to use chopsticks, so he ate with a spoon. On the table was a dish of boiled eggs, which Ji Ning seemed quite fond of. Ji Ning scooped up a big spoonful of it, but he didn’t put it into his own bowl. Instead, he brought it toward Shen Mo’s lips. Shen Mo was somewhat surprised.

 

Ji Ning gazed at Shen Mo with dark black eyes and said, “Eat, Uncle!”

 

Beyond flattering, Shen Mo swallowed it in one gulp. The boiled eggs were still hot. As it travelled down his throat, even his chest felt a little warm. Satisfied, Ji Ning happily continued eating. 

 

Shen Mo, on the other hand, kept on getting him more food. In the end, Ji Ning finished all of his rice. His appetite was much better than usual. Even Chen-jie said that Shen Mo and Ji Ning really seemed to hit it off. Shen Mo only smiled.

 

Ji Ning had the habit of taking naps. In the afternoon, he started yawning after taking a short break. Shen Mo hadn’t slept too well last night; he was growing somewhat drowsy, so he picked up Ji Ning and took him to the bedroom for a nap.

 

Shen Mo slept well. It was already past three when he woke up. Chen-jie made some powdered milk for Ji Ning, which Ji Ning guzzled in its entirety. Turning around, Ji Ning waved the empty bottle at Shen Mo. Shen Mo was quick to stroke his head and praise him.

 

As Ji Ning familiarised himself with Shen Mo, he began to show signs of his wilful temper, sitting on the bed and refusing to put on his shoes. Only after Shen Mo spent quite some time coaxing him did he climb onto Shen Mo’s back and whisper in Shen Mo’s ear, “Uncle, I wanna play games.”

 

Shen Mo grinned. “What do you want to play? Uncle can play with you.”

 

Ji Ning beamed. He rolled right onto the bed and rummaged beneath the pillows. Shen Mo thought he was going to fish out another Transformer, but he brought out an old phone instead.

 

The phone was an outdated model. Shen Mo remembered that when it first came out a few years ago, Ji Mingxuan had one of the same model as well. He immediately understood and asked, “Is this your dad’s phone?”

 

“Yep.” Ji Ning nodded and said, “Help me turn it on, Uncle.”

 

Shen Mo didn’t expect such a young child to like playing mobile games. He felt that it wasn’t too appropriate, but seeing how expectantly Ji Ning looked at him, he didn’t have it in him to turn the boy down either. He thought about it for a while before saying, “You can only use it for a bit… well, ten minutes.”

 

Ji Ning only urged Shen Mo, “Hurry up, hurry up.”

 

So Shen Mo helped him turn on the phone.

 

The phone was fully charged. Shen Mo found it somewhat strange; ordinary people like Shen Mo kept old phones as backups, but was it necessary for Ji Mingxuan to keep a phone from several years ago? Would Ji Mingxuan care about saving such a meagre amount of money? But now, afraid of invading Ji Mingxuan’s privacy, Shen Mo didn’t dare do anything else.

 

Ji Ning didn’t mind it too much, though. He seized it and started swiping around. He seemed to play on it often, opening several apps at once. As Shen Mo saw that much of the phone’s contents were empty and realised it had probably already been cleared out, he felt a little more relieved.

 

And then Ji Ning opened a game and started playing. Shen Mo glanced at it several times. In the game, a small figure seemed to be finding its way through a maze. Shen Mo didn’t see what was so entertaining about it, but Ji Ning appeared to be having a great time.

 

When the ten minutes were up and Shen Mo confiscated the phone, Ji Ning still wasn’t satisfied and started coaxing Shen Mo. Keeping Ji Mingxuan’s words in mind, Shen Mo didn’t indulge Ji Ning and closed every app inside the phone. When he came to the messages app, he glimpsed his own name in the outbox.

 

Shen Mo’s heart skipped a beat. Without him realising it, his finger had already tapped the outbox open. The messages on the phone had been sorted out as well. He saw his own name in rows.

 

In Shen Mo’s memory, Ji Mingxuan had rarely texted him. Yet, in the outbox were dozens of messages for him. They had all been sent on a particular day four years ago, from morning to night.

 

As Shen Mo read the messages one after another, his eyes gradually blurred.

 

“Where are you, Shen Mo?”

 

“Did you go with Zhou Yang?”

 

“Come back.”

 

“Shen Mo, don’t go.”

 

“Stay here.”

 

“... Stay by my side.”