The Missing Piece: 貌合神离

Extra Story 1: Memories

 

It was an ID photo.

 

The person in the photo looked like a student. Lips slightly pursed, he stared intently at the camera. He looked so serious, even though he was only taking a photo. His features weren’t eye-catching, but the pair of eyes under his short bangs were so black that even the red background behind him seemed dull in comparison.

 

The photo was glued to the investigation files that Ji Mingxuan had just received. Ji Mingxuan went through the files quickly. He found out that the person in the photo was named Shen Mo, that he was an art student at T University who had graduated just this year, and that he was still looking for a job.

 

Once, Ji Mingxuan had been invited to T University to give a lecture, during which he saw Shen Mo sitting in the first row. Shen Mo wore a lost expression, obviously confused by the lecture, yet he still took notes attentively.

 

At that time, Ji Mingxuan only found Shen Mo to be an interesting person. He didn’t expect Shen Mo at all to be the person Zhou Yang was dating.

 

At the end of the files were several other photos taken secretly while Shen Mo and Zhou Yang were together. Both were men, but a glance at their expressions told you they shared an intimate relationship. Ji Mingxuan raised his hand to press the centre of his brows.

 

His younger sister, Ji An’an, was a childhood friend of Zhou Yang. She’d had feelings for Zhou Yang since she was young. The Zhou family and the Ji family would love to see the two married, but now it seemed that the plan would fail. 

 

At present, the car came to a gradual stop. The driver turned around and said, “Mr Ji, we have arrived at the Zhou family’s house.”

 

Ji Mingxuan nodded and put the files back into the filing envelope. He thought for a while and didn’t bring the envelope out with him, only tossing it inside before he got out of the car.

 

Knowing Ji Mingxuan was coming over today, the Zhou parents were already waiting in the living room. A servant gingerly brought over some tea and left without making a sound.

 

Ji Mingxuan picked up the teacup and took a sip. It was Iron Goddess oolong, a tea that he liked.

 

After exchanging greetings, Mrs Zhou went straight to the subject. “Mingxuan, we agreed a long time ago that An’an and Zhou Yang are going to study abroad together, didn’t we? Why are you saying that you’d like to think about it some more, now?”

 

With deliberation, Ji Mingxuan replied, “I don’t think it’s the best idea.”

 

“We arranged this marriage between your family and ours so long ago; what’s not good about it?”

 

“You know, An’an’s illness…”

 

Mr Zhou and Mrs Zhou exchanged a look. Mrs Zhou was still the one who spoke up, “We’re not strangers, your family and ours. My husband and I have long been aware of An’an’s physical condition. But it’s nothing to worry about. Back then, your father and your mother married this way as well, didn’t they?”

 

Ji Mingxuan hesitated somewhat. Ji Mingxuan’s parents had always loved each other, a well-known love story of the city. Even though they were also in an arranged marriage, his father loved his sickly mother for his whole life, taking care of her in every possible way. Even after she passed away from her illness, he never remarried.

 

Mrs Zhou had also clawed her way through the business world, so she was most adept at observing people’s expressions. She seized this opportunity. “In fact, with An’an’s situation, it’d be best if she could marry Zhou Yang. At least our families know each other well. You’d be able to rest assured too, right?”

 

Besides, the two families shared the same interests. Such a bond was far firmer than so-called love. Mrs Zhou didn’t say it out loud, but all three who were present understood.

 

Ji Mingxuan was wavering, indeed, but she hadn’t convinced him yet. He only said, “Even if An’an is fine with it, Zhou Yang might not be willing.”

 

“Mingxuan, what do you mean by this?”

 

“From what I know, Zhou Yang is already involved in a relationship with someone.”

 

Mrs Zhou’s expression changed slightly.

 

Mr Zhou laughed instead. “Men, huh? Normally, they date a few girls before they marry. Those relationships are nothing serious.”

 

Mrs Zhou had an unpleasant expression on her face, but she also agreed, “Zhou Yang has dated one or two girls in high school too, but they broke up long ago. I haven’t heard anything about the one now.”

 

Zhou Yang is dating a man for a change—of course he wouldn’t dare let his parents know. Sensibly, Ji Mingxuan did not say it out loud.

 

Mrs Zhou stared at Ji Mingxuan as she said, “So it seems, Mingxuan, that you’ve already had someone investigate Zhou Yang.”

 

“I put my sister’s happiness first, of course.” Ji Mingxuan smiled. “In any case, on the matter of studying abroad, perhaps it’s best that you ask Zhou Yang for his opinion before making the decision.”

 

And then Ji Mingxuan changed the subject. He chatted with them for a while longer, showing them adequate courtesy before he left.

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t let Ji An’an know about this conversation. He only wanted his dearest sister to dress beautifully and remain the princess inside the castle. As for the storms outside, there was no need for her to worry.

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t expect that, a few days later, Ji An’an would bring up the matter of studying abroad on her own.

 

Concealing his surprise, Ji Mingxuan smiled and asked, “Who brought it up to you?”

 

“Zhou Yang did. Brother, he said his parents have already discussed it with you. Is that not the case?”

 

Ji Mingxuan’s eyes darkened. He asked, “Zhou Yang has also agreed to study abroad?”

 

“Of course. Why else would he mention it?” Ji An’an shook Ji Mingxuan’s arm, her voice saccharine. “Brother, are you going to let me go or not?”

 

Ji Mingxuan didn't reply. His mind worked rapidly, but he revealed nothing on the surface, only patting Ji An’an’s hand. “Do you really love Zhou Yang so much, An’an?”

 

“Brother!” Ji An’an stamped her feet, her face blushing slightly. “I’ve loved him since I was young. It’s not like you don’t know.”

 

“Why do you love him?”

 

“He… He’s been my childhood dream.”

 

Just as Snow White looked forward to meeting Prince Charming, perhaps every girl has had such a dream.

 

Ji Mingxuan gazed at his sister gently and asked, “What if Zhou Yang doesn’t love you back?”

 

Ji An’an smiled sweetly. Not at all offended by the presumption, she only said, “Then I’ll still love him. I always will.”

 

She had inherited her mother’s illness, but she was more like her father in character, particularly persistent when it came to affection. After the siblings’ mother had died, their father missed their mother so much that he fell ill and passed away soon after. This problem seemed to run in the Ji family.

 

Of course, Ji Mingxuan wouldn’t act on emotions alone. Weighing the pros and cons, he thought that if Zhou Yang really hadn’t been serious about those past relationships and would treat An’an well in the future, with the Ji family’s financial resources as backing, the marriage was not completely out of the question.

 

“Brother,” Ji An’an asked, “are you going to let me go or not?”

 

“Don’t worry.” Seeing the anticipation on her face, Ji Mingxuan smiled. “Your dream will come true.”

 

All he had was this sister of his. Whatever Ji An’an wanted, he would certainly present it to her.

 

The procedures for studying abroad were soon completed. Half a month later, Ji Mingxuan saw Ji An’an off at the airport. Of course, Zhou Yang left with her. Ji Mingxuan wasn’t particularly fond of Zhou Yang, so he only nodded in greeting.

 

Ji Mingxuan drove back alone. On the radio, someone was singing an old love song in a hoarse voice. Ji Mingxuan felt somewhat melancholy. As he waited at a red light, he remembered a pair of dark eyes for some reason.

 

Those eyes looked clear and black. No matter what they gazed at, a person or a camera, they held an earnestness within. What was his name again? Right, Shen Mo.

 

Ji Mingxuan thought that the name suited him well. Now that Zhou Yang was going abroad with An’an, Zhou Yang might have already broken up with Shen Mo. Before the red light turned green, Ji Mingxuan took the files from the back seat and looked over them once more.

 

When he saw the photo of the student-like young man again, Ji Mingxuan suddenly felt a flicker of something. He pulled out his phone and made a call.

 

“It’s me. Yes, keep an eye on the person I told you to investigate last month... It’s nothing serious. Just keep it up for a few days...”

 

After hanging up, Ji Mingxuan drove home. By the time he got a call back, he was already in his study. He received unexpected news—Shen Mo was missing.

 

“When did it happen? That’s right, what else are we going to do? Look for him, of course.” Ji Mingxuan decided at once. “Send some people to look for him.”

 

He hung up and circled his study twice. He had already guessed. Zhou Yang had just gone abroad with Ji An’an when Shen Mo went missing. Who else could have done it? Ji Mingxuan didn’t expect Mrs Zhou to be so ruthless not only in business matters but also in dealing with her son’s past affairs.

 

But all this had nothing to do with Ji Mingxuan. All that he had done was mention the existence of such a person to the Zhou family. Zhou Yang should have been the one to decide whether or not to break up with Shen Mo. But if he hadn’t hired someone to investigate Shen Mo…

 

Ji Mingxuan sat down slowly and read the files in his hands over and over. Finally, he reached out and peeled off the photo. He didn’t hear about Shen Mo until the next day.

 

Ji Mingxuan made time for this matter and travelled by car to a quite remote location. The car jolted violently on the way, while barrenness filled the landscape outside. After a long while, an old, abandoned warehouse came into his view.

 

He got out of the car, walking inexplicably faster than everyone else. As he was about to open the warehouse door, somebody stopped him. “Mr Ji, things might not be too good inside.”

 

Ji Mingxuan felt a sudden pulse at his temple. He said calmly, “That’s fine.”

Then, he pulled the door open.

 

A musty smell rushed into his nose. It was quite dark in the warehouse, and only the light from outside let him see a person curled up on the ground. He was covered in wounds; his right hand was especially heavily injured, battered and bloody. A jarring redness pooled beneath his palm.

 

Ji Mingxuan almost thought that he was dead. One step at a time, he walked over. The person on the ground moved a little, peeling his eyes open to look at Ji Mingxuan. Ji Mingxuan walked closer and closer, and little by little, his reflection appeared in the pair of quiet, black eyes.

 

Ji Mingxuan had always hated hospitals. His sickly mother had passed away soon after giving birth to his sister. Moreover, his only sister, Ji An’an, inherited his mother’s heart disease; she had spent most of her time in the hospital ever since she was a child. Ji Mingxuan was so used to going in and out of hospitals that he felt disgusted whenever he smelled the familiar scent of disinfectant. But now he was sitting in a hospital room, waiting for someone to wake up.

 

Ji Mingxuan had still arrived too late. When he arrived at the abandoned warehouse, Shen Mo was already in bad shape. Shen Mo’s whole body, especially his right hand, was covered in wounds. His life was not in danger, but the doctor said that there might be lasting damage. Ji Mingxuan remembered that Shen Mo had studied art and that even the jobs he was looking for were all related to painting. But his hand... might not be able to hold a paintbrush ever again.

 

Ji Mingxuan let out a light sigh. He had met Shen Mo only once, and Shen Mo’s abduction had nothing to do with him either. After he’d heard the news, he rushed over to rescue Shen Mo and even took him to the hospital afterwards; he had done more than enough. There was no need for him to stay here and waste his time.

 

But… Ji Mingxuan remembered how, when he had walked into the old warehouse, those black, earnest eyes had reflected his figure. He kneaded his brows, thinking he might as well wait until Shen Mo woke up.

 

Sometime later, the person on the bed let out a murmur. His long eyelashes trembled slightly. Ji Mingxuan’s heart also wavered. Right at that moment, his phone rang, and he had to go out to answer it. When he entered the room again, he found that Shen Mo was already awake.

 

“You’re awake.” Ji Mingxuan gazed at Shen Mo for a while. With no delicacy, he went straight to the point. “The doctor said that you’re already out of danger. The injury on your right hand is the most serious. There may be long-term effects.”

 

Shen Mo’s face looked even paler than it had looked while he was unconscious. His lips moved a little, but he didn't care about his own hand. Instead, he uttered two syllables, “Zhou Yang...”

 

Ji Mingxuan had known that Shen Mo would ask about Zhou Yang. He replied coldly, “Zhou Yang is abroad. He’s with my sister.”

 

Ji Mingxuan paused before he added, “My sister is Ji An’an.”

 

Sure enough, Shen Mo had heard of the name before. He looked up at Ji Mingxuan, his eyes purely black yet lacking in vitality, almost as though nothing could be seen reflected inside.

 

Ji Mingxuan suddenly regretted staying here. He reached up to fix his tie, and only then did he introduce himself, “My name is Ji Mingxuan.”

 

After that, Ji Mingxuan went to the hospital one more time to see Shen Mo. Shen Mo borrowed Ji Mingxuan’s phone and, right in front of Ji Mingxuan, called Zhou Yang to break up with him. When Shen Mo had been beaten up and tortured, Shen Mo had kept his mouth shut, but now that he was out of danger, he instead chose to break up with Zhou Yang. He said he couldn’t have his family in danger.

 

Of course, none of this had anything to do with Ji Mingxuan. Later, Ji Mingxuan sent his assistant to visit Shen Mo several times, but he himself never went to the hospital again. A month later, Shen Mo recovered and left the hospital. 

 

Ji Mingxuan was so busy with work every day that he almost forgot about Shen Mo. However, after being passed around by many people, a watch reached Ji Mingxuan’s hands. His subordinates had found it in the old warehouse. He knew it probably belonged to Shen Mo.

 

It was easy to return the watch to its owner. Ji Mingxuan had Shen Mo’s address on file, so he could just ask his assistant to pay a visit there. It had just rained that day. Once the sky cleared, the weather was especially pleasant. Some sunlight seeped through the window and fell on Ji Mingxuan’s slender fingers. 

 

Sitting in the back seat of the car, he watched the driver weave through the city’s bustling streets before finally arriving at an old neighbourhood. The apartment buildings there were more than a decade old, their walls overspread with ivy. Ji Mingxuan’s gaze swept across the windows as he wondered where Shen Mo lived.

 

The car stopped. Just as his assistant was getting out of the car, Ji Mingxuan said, “Wait.”

 

“Mr Ji?”

 

Ji Mingxuan slowly drew his gaze back. Tapping his finger against his knee, he said, “Actually, I’ll go.”

 

Ji Mingxuan opened the car door and took the watch from his assistant’s hand. He walked up the stairs to the third floor, then knocked on one of the doors. Only after Ji Mingxuan waited for a few moments did someone come to open the door.

 

A damp smell poured out from within. Shen Mo was wearing a baggy shirt, and his face was bloodless; he looked worse than when he’d been hospitalised. But the moment he saw Ji Mingxuan, he smiled. The smile was brighter than even the radiant sunlight outside.

 

Shen Mo opened his mouth. “Zhou Yang.”

 

Ji Mingxuan was surprised. “I’m not Zhou Yang.”

 

Shen Mo blinked once. He examined Ji Mingxuan and asked, “Who else could you be?”

 

As Shen Mo spoke, he pulled Ji Mingxuan into the house. The house was dirty and messy; obviously, it hadn’t been cleaned in many days. Ji Mingxuan said only a few words to Shen Mo before realising something was wrong; Shen Mo seemed to have mistaken him for Zhou Yang.

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t think he had anything in common with Zhou Yang. But this didn’t have anything to do with him either. He returned the watch to Shen Mo. He was about to leave when Shen Mo asked him to eat together.

 

Ji Mingxuan saw the bread on the table, and his expression suddenly changed. He grabbed Shen Mo’s hand. “You’ve been eating spoiled food?”

 

Shen Mo looked innocent, as if he didn’t notice that the bread was already mouldy. He didn’t answer the question. “I think there might still be some food in the fridge. I’ll make some noodles for you.”

 

Shen Mo had walked only two steps when he lurched to the side and almost fell to the ground. Ji Mingxuan helped Shen Mo steady himself, only to find that Shen Mo was incredibly thin. He tightened his grip around Shen Mo’s arm. “If I didn’t come today, you’d probably starve to death in this house and hit the headlines a few days later..”

 

Shen Mo still looked blank, as if he didn’t understand what Ji Mingxuan had said or didn’t care that Ji Mingxuan was angry at him. He just whispered, “Zhou Yang….”

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t correct Shen Mo again. He only led Shen Mo out of the house. His driver and his assistant were still waiting downstairs.

 

Ji Mingxuan got Shen Mo into the car and had his assistant buy some hot porridge nearby and bring it over. Eating the porridge, Shen Mo said nothing. From time to time, he looked up at Ji Mingxuan with eyes full of trust.

 

Ji Mingxuan knew it was because Shen Mo had mistaken him for someone else. Sitting in the car, Ji Mingxuan thought for a moment before he told the driver, “To the hospital.”

 

For Shen Mo's sake, Ji Mingxuan went to the hospital again. He found a doctor he knew well and had Shen Mo examined by him. The results came out soon: it was post-traumatic stress disorder.

 

Watching Shen Mo unconsciously squeeze his right hand, Ji Mingxuan was well aware of the cause of the illness. Fortunately, Shen Mo’s condition wasn’t serious; as long as he took his medicine on time and regularly visited the hospital for therapy, he would gradually recover. 

 

Since Ji Mingxuan was the one who had involved himself in this matter, he could only help Shen Mo again by getting Shen Mo’s medicine and, after driving Shen Mo back, watching him take it.

 

When Shen Mo finished, Ji Mingxuan knew it was time for him to leave. He had already wasted too much time on such an irrelevant person. It made no sense to stay here any longer.

 

But right after Ji Mingxuan opened the door, Shen Mo caught up to him and asked, “Where are you going, Zhou Yang?”

 

“Zhou Yang” again.

 

Ji Mingxuan sighed in silence. Turning around, he looked at Shen Mo. “I just happened to pass by today. I won’t come here again.”

 

Shen Mo looked confused again. Ji Mingxuan couldn’t help but lift his palm toward Shen Mo’s cheek. However, he didn’t touch Shen Mo’s face. Word by word, he stated, “Of course, Zhou Yang won’t come either. Whether to keep running away from reality or to face the truth, it’s up to you.”

 

Once he finished, he withdrew his hand, turned around, and left. Ji Mingxuan heard Shen Mo's footsteps following him, but he didn’t turn around. He had already spent most of his day with Shen Mo, which meant many business matters had been delayed. 

 

After he got back to his office, he inevitably had to work all night. The next day, he was as busy as usual. Only once in a while, when he was taking a break, did the thought of Shen Mo cross his mind. 

 

If Shen Mo was left alone, he would probably starve to death. Of course, that might just be one more headline in tomorrow’s newspaper. It had nothing to do with Ji Mingxuan.

 

Ji Mingxuan breathed a sigh of relief. He laughed at himself. He had been taking care of Ji An’an for so long that, upon seeing someone sick, he couldn’t help but worry about them. He had worked quite efficiently today and finished processing all of the documents in the afternoon. He’d just worked overtime yesterday, so he didn’t stay in the office for too long. 

 

After tidying up his things, he drove back by himself. It began to rain as he was leaving his office. The rain wasn’t heavy; it drizzled down and created a tender atmosphere. Ji Mingxuan allowed his thoughts to wander for a while.

 

When his attention returned, he had already driven to the old neighbourhood. Ji Mingxuan was somewhat surprised. He had only been here twice, yet he’d somehow memorised the route so well. He quickly returned to his senses. Of course, he didn’t intend to get out of the car, but with just one glance, he saw a familiar figure.

 

Shen Mo was sitting against the wall, still wearing the thin shirt from yesterday. The drizzle had long since wet his clothes. One could only wonder for how long he’d been sitting here, huddled up from the cold. He would probably freeze to death before he starved to death.

 

Ji Mingxuan parked slowly. Myriad thoughts surfaced in his mind but, like the fluttering raindrops, escaped his grasp. Ji Mingxuan gazed at Shen Mo through the hazy screen of rain. Shen Mo knew nothing. He was only waiting there persistently.

 

He was waiting for Zhou Yang. He didn’t know that Zhou Yang was a thousand miles away, nor that Zhou Yang would come for him, either today or at any time in the future.

 

Ji Mingxuan drew back his gaze just a few moments later, but he still didn’t start his car. His hands rested on the steering wheel, as if he was fighting his own mind. Only the rustling of rain was left in this world.

 

At dusk, the rain suddenly grew heavier. The sliver of roof above Shen Mo’s head couldn’t keep out the rain at all. Shen Mo was even more drenched than before, but he remained motionless. Ji Mingxuan felt a throb in his heart. He knew he had lost.

 

There was a spare umbrella in his car. Ji Mingxuan opened the door, got out of the car, and went to Shen Mo with the umbrella. Seeing Ji Mingxuan, Shen Mo’s eyes brightened at once, as if he had seen light amid boundless darkness. He stood up and hugged Ji Mingxuan, calling, “Zhou Yang!”

 

Ji Mingxuan froze. A long time passed before he sighed and gently embraced Shen Mo.

 

Having been rained on all day, Shen Mo came down with a high fever in the evening, so Ji Mingxuan could only call a doctor to give him an injection. Even during his sleep, Shen Mo called Zhou Yang’s name, waving his arm around as though he was looking for something. Ji Mingxuan wanted to pull Shen Mo’s hand back under the blanket, but Shen Mo caught him and gripped him so tightly that he couldn’t pull away.

 

But after that, Shen Mo calmed down. Only his lips moved slightly, as if to say, “Zhou.”

 

Ji Mingxuan couldn’t help but wonder, just how charming must Zhou Yang be to have captivated Shen Mo like this? Ji Mingxuan’s family had known the Zhou family for decades, so Ji Mingxuan was also familiar with Zhou Yang. If Ji Mingxuan was asked to comment on Zhou Yang… well, Zhou Yang was ok, but nothing more than that.

 

Ji Mingxuan took care of Shen Mo throughout the night. The next day, he called a housekeeper to come clean the house and watched Shen Mo take the pills before he left. Afterwards, he had the housekeeper visit to take care of Shen Mo every day, while he himself also came to check on him every few days.

 

Many times, Ji Mingxuan tried to explain to Shen Mo that he’d mistaken him for someone else. But Shen Mo either told Ji Mingxuan that he didn’t understand or asked rhetorically, a smile on his face, “Who else could you be?”

 

Ji Mingxuan was quite experienced in caring for patients; he knew that patients like Shen Mo were the most difficult to deal with. Shen Mo was immersed in his own world; others could do nothing to help him.

 

Ji Mingxuan was sometimes puzzled as to whether Shen Mo mistook everyone for Zhou Yang or only him. Once, on purpose, he had his assistant walk around Shen Mo, but Shen Mo ignored him completely. Ji Mingxuan felt quite defeated.

 

He knew that he had been spending too much time on Shen Mo. He had tried to leave Shen Mo alone too, but in the end he still found a reason to convince himself: he was long since used to caring for a patient anyway, so what he was doing now was no more than a small favour.

 

After staying like this for almost a month, Ji Mingxuan noticed that Shen Mo experienced nightmares every night. They tormented him so much that he was too afraid to even fall asleep. No wonder he had lost so much weight, even though he was being fed such good meals every day.

 

As for what the nightmares were about, Ji Mingxuan knew without thinking.

 

Ji Mingxuan had just taken Shen Mo to the hospital for a check-up. Knowing Shen Mo was no longer well enough to live alone, Ji Mingxuan immediately turned around and decided to take him to his house instead. 

 

Yet Shen Mo was unwilling; he even fought with him over the steering wheel, an act that nearly caused a tragic car accident. Shen Mo insisted that he stay in the rental and wait for somebody. They both knew whom Shen Mo was waiting for.

 

Ji Mingxuan stopped the car and turned around to look at Shen Mo. Shen Mo stared back, refusing to give in. In the end, Ji Mingxuan was still the one to surrender. He drove Shen Mo back to the rental. He couldn’t leave Shen Mo alone, though. After much consideration, he grabbed a blanket and slept on the sofa. 

 

The rental was small, its bedroom door facing its living room. At night, Shen Mo didn’t close the door. Once the lights were off, Ji Mingxuan could see how Shen Mo curled up under the blanket under the moonlight. Ji Mingxuan was tall and long-legged, so it was natural that he felt uncomfortable sleeping on the sofa, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. Shen Mo didn’t sleep either. His eyes were resting on Ji Mingxuan.

 

Ji Mingxuan decided that he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. Turning around, he gazed at Shen Mo for a while before he asked, amid the silence, “Does everyone look like Zhou Yang in your eyes? Or am I the only one you mistake for him?”

 

Shen Mo seemed to smile at Ji Mingxuan. He declared, “Only you’re special, of course.”

 

For a moment, Ji Mingxuan’s mind drifted. Then he heard Shen Mo say, “Zhou Yang?”

 

The name immediately pulled him back to reality. He was quiet for a while. In the dark, his voice sounded especially low as he said, gently, “You can sleep. I’m right here.”

 

From then on, Ji Mingxuan lived in the small rental. With Ji Mingxuan around, unsurprisingly, Shen Mo no longer had nightmares. The two of them spent a calm, peaceful time together.

 

The first time Ji Mingxuan realised that things had spiralled out of control was when Shen Mo suddenly disappeared one afternoon. Because of his illness, Shen Mo was always in a bit of a daze. 

 

He had even lost some memories, having completely forgotten that he’d been kidnapped. But for some unknown reason, on that day, he dug out a paintbrush, something he hadn’t used in a long time, and discovered that his right hand was injured and that he could no longer paint. 

 

He didn’t say anything at the time and, hastily wiping away his tears, went into the kitchen to cook. Ji Mingxuan noticed Shen Mo’s bad mood, so he deliberately paid a visit home at noon the next day. Yet, Shen Mo had disappeared.

 

Staring at the empty house, Ji Mingxuan stayed calm. Immediately, he asked his driver and his assistant to help him look for Shen Mo. He searched through the entire neighbourhood, and finally found Shen Mo in a supermarket.

 

Wearing a supermarket employee’s uniform, Shen Mo was intently organising products in front of a shelf. Something in Ji Mingxuan’s heart finally landed. Only then did he realise that his palms were covered in sweat. He felt as if he had lost something and found it again.

 

Shen Mo, as oblivious as usual, seemed to be unaware of the situation. He even asked, “Zhou Yang? Why are you here?”

 

Ji Mingxuan automatically blocked out the name that Shen Mo had said. Walking over, he hugged Shen Mo and called his name in a low voice, “Shen Mo.”

 

Ji Mingxuan repeated the name many times. Obediently, Shen Mo stayed in Ji Mingxuan’s arms. Later, when it came to explaining what had happened, Shen Mo still spoke as if he’d done nothing wrong. He said that because he couldn’t paint anymore, of course he had to find another job to make a living. Ji Mingxuan didn’t agree to it.

 

Ji Mingxuan had seen Shen Mo’s paintings. Talent aside, he could at least tell that Shen Mo really loved painting. As such, he got in touch with the top experts and the best hospitals, determined to treat Shen Mo’s hand.

 

In reality, it was a little too late to begin treatment. After much consultation, the conclusion was that Shen Mo’s hand needed another operation. Ji Mingxuan soon had everything arranged. Theoretically, this was no more than a minor operation, but the night before it, as Ji Mingxuan waited beside Shen Mo in the hospital ward, he felt nervous for some reason.

 

The last time Ji Mingxuan had been this nervous was many years ago, when Ji An’an entered the operating room. His parents had already passed away then, and Ji An’an was the only family he had.

 

At the time, Ji An’an had been the whole world to him. But now, another person had squeezed into his heart. No matter how nervous Ji Mingxuan was, he didn’t show it on the surface. He only circled Shen Mo’s hospital bed again and again, his hand slightly tense as he patted Shen Mo’s hand. “Don’t be afraid.”

 

“I’m not afraid.” Shen Mo smiled and comforted Ji Mingxuan instead. “It’s just a small operation. It’ll be great if it succeeds, but there’s no harm even if it doesn’t.”

 

Sometimes, Ji Mingxuan didn’t quite understand Shen Mo. Shen Mo obviously had a good temper, almost as if anyone could take advantage of him, but when he got stubborn, he refused to give up no matter what. And so, when it came to Shen Mo, Ji Mingxuan could only give in no matter how much he resisted. Shen Mo’s operation turned out to be a great success.

 

But this was only the first step of the treatment; he still had a whole series of rehabilitation to go through later. The doctor also prescribed a lot of traditional Chinese medicine, which tasted awful and was difficult to swallow. Fortunately, Shen Mo never threw a tantrum. No matter what he was fed, he always downed it in one gulp.

 

The days were getting cold. Shen Mo’s physique wasn’t good; his body was rather sensitive to the cold in winter, and his hands were always frozen stiff, so Ji Mingxuan used medicinal liquor to massage them. Ji Mingxuan started from his fingertips, and then kneaded his fingers one by one.

 

This was definitely far beyond a small favour. But Ji Mingxuan enjoyed it, so he didn’t need to find another excuse with which to convince himself.

 

On that day, as Ji Mingxuan massaged Shen Mo’s fingers, Shen Mo chatted casually, mentioning that he might not be able to paint again. Of course, Ji Mingxuan firmly believed that he would be rewarded as long as he kept going.

 

Shen Mo smiled and called, “Zhou Yang.”

 

He said, “When my right hand heals and I start painting again, you’ll be the first one I paint, okay?”

 

Ji Mingxuan stopped for a moment. The person Shen Mo wanted to paint was Zhou Yang. Ji Mingxuan felt as if his heart had been pricked. It wasn’t painful, but he felt strange and uncomfortable. 

 

With his head lowered, he folded Shen Mo’s hands on his own. He gazed at the pair of hands for a while before he replied, “... Okay.”

 

He knew he had fallen in too deep. He had also tried to distance himself from Shen Mo, pretending to be busy at work and ignoring him unless necessary. But Shen Mo understood nothing and clung to him as usual. Once, Shen Mo even sneaked up on him while he was washing the dishes.

 

Ji Mingxuan was so close to letting Shen Mo succeed. In the end, only by claiming he was impotent could he make Shen Mo give up. But it’d be too dangerous for him to keep staying in the same room as Shen Mo.

 

Luckily, New Year’s approached. Ji Mingxuan flew abroad to see Ji An’an. It was also an opportunity for him to keep himself away from Shen Mo. He still made some arrangements before he left, though: Shen Mo said he was going to visit home, so Ji Mingxuan told his assistant to book the train tickets in advance.

 

Even so, while he was overseas, Ji Mingxuan was still concerned about Shen Mo. Even Ji An’an couldn’t help but complain, “You’re always spacing out these days, Brother.”

 

Ji Mingxuan could only force a smile. But Ji An’an kept talking about Zhou Yang, reminding Ji Mingxuan of the person he had left behind in China. 

 

Perhaps Zhou Yang had been his archenemy in a past life; the two people he cared about most had nothing but Zhou Yang on their minds. 

 

So, on New Year’s Eve, Ji Mingxuan was determined not to invite Zhou Yang to dinner. Ji An’an had to give up, and instead enjoyed a wonderful meal with Ji Mingxuan alone. As usual, Ji Mingxuan gave her a New Year’s present. With a cheer, Ji An’an forgot all about not having Zhou Yang by her side. Hugging Ji Mingxuan, she gave him a hard kiss.

 

Ji Mingxuan glared at her with a straight face, but he felt quite pleased in secret. Estimating that it was almost midnight in China, he took out his phone and called Shen Mo.

 

Of course, Shen Mo hadn’t slept yet. The two chatted about a few things: Shen Mo asked him if it was fun overseas, while he asked Shen Mo what Shen Mo had eaten on New Year’s Eve. Shen Mo spouted a long list of dish names, but as Ji Mingxuan listened, he felt that something was wrong.

 

It was too quiet on the other end of the line. Hadn’t Shen Mo gone home for New Year’s? How could it be so quiet?

 

Gripping the phone, Ji Mingxuan asked out of the blue, “Shen Mo, where are you now?”

 

Shen Mo answered without a pause, “I’m home.”

 

Ji Mingxuan asked again, “Alone?”

 

Shen Mo hesitated for a moment before he replied in a cheerful tone, “I’m in my hometown. Mum and Dad are both here.”

 

After he finished, he added hurriedly, “My parents just called me to go set off some firecrackers with them. I’ll hang up for now.”

 

Shen Mo wasn’t a good liar. Ji Mingxuan immediately knew what was going on, but he didn’t expose him. Shen Mo’s name spiralled in his heart before he uttered it in a strange tone, “Shen Mo.”

 

Shen Mo didn’t say anything. The clock struck twelve amid the rumbling of firecrackers. Ji Mingxuan had many things to say, but over the phone line, across tens of thousands of miles, he said only, “Happy New Year.”

 

Shen Mo returned, “Happy New Year.”

 

It was still early after Ji Mingxuan hung up. He finished the meal hastily and called his assistant to look into Shen Mo’s matter. His assistant was quite efficient; he soon found out that Shen Mo hadn’t returned to his hometown after all and had spent the New Year in that small rental.

 

Upon further investigation, Ji Mingxuan discovered that Shen Mo had long since come out to his family. Because of this, he had been kicked out by his family and definitely couldn’t go back. So he was staying in that rental alone; perhaps he had even started having nightmares again… Ji Mingxuan deeply regretted having been so negligent.

 

Although New Year’s was not over yet, Ji Mingxuan’s heart had already flown back to China. Ji An’an had always been a sensible person. Seeing how absent-minded Ji Mingxuan was after he made the phone call, she said generously, “Brother, if something happened at work, you can go back first. You’ve already spent New Year’s with me anyway.”

 

Ji Mingxuan stroked her hair and apologised. After some difficulties, he was eventually able to get a return ticket to China. A dozen or so hours later, he was already standing outside the familiar rental.

 

Ji Mingxuan knew that Shen Mo was inside. But just as he was about to reach up and knock on the door, he hesitated. He had decided to avoid Shen Mo, but now that he’d hurried back, wasn’t everything back to square one?

 

What was worse was that Shen Mo might not even remember his name. In Shen Mo’s eyes, he had always been the man named Zhou Yang.

 

Ji Mingxuan lifted his hand, drew it back, and lifted it again. A long while passed before he knocked on the door in front of him. Shen Mo soon opened the door. He had clearly just woken up; his hair was dishevelled, his pyjamas were wrinkled, and he had a blank expression. But the moment he saw Ji Mingxuan, he couldn’t help but reveal a smile.

 

Ji Mingxuan felt a softness in his heart. Upon the sight of Shen Mo, all of his hesitations disappeared. Ji Mingxuan looked Shen Mo up and down. Making sure Shen Mo hadn’t lost too much weight during their time apart, he finally walked inside and sat down on the sofa. 

 

Waving at Shen Mo, he said, “Come here.”

 

Shen Mo walked over obediently. Just as he was about to reach the sofa, Ji Mingxuan extended a leg to trip him. Caught off guard, Shen Mo stumbled a few steps forward, and Ji Mingxuan reached out to wrap him in a tight embrace.

 

Shen Mo looked up, gazing at Ji Mingxuan with pure black eyes, as if he were about to call the man’s name.

 

Ji Mingxuan knew the two words Shen Mo would say, so he took the lead and lowered his head to kiss him.

 

Shen Mo’s right hand healed quite well. According to the doctor, he’d soon be able to hold a paintbrush again. And, after New Year’s, Ji Mingxuan had begun to sleep on the bed too. In the end, he still let Shen Mo succeed.

 

Rationality repeatedly reminded him that Shen Mo had mistaken him for someone else and that it’d be dangerous for him to continue indulging in it, but the indulgence just felt too good. Like an addict who’d had a taste of opium, he found it far too difficult to stop.

 

Ji Mingxuan had investigated Shen Mo before, so he knew it was almost Shen Mo’s birthday. Up until now, he had only given presents to Ji An’an; he had no idea what to give Shen Mo. He’d also asked Shen Mo tentatively, but Shen Mo wasn’t really interested in the matter, so he decided on his own.

 

He had a house in Jinxiu Villa, located in a premium area, quiet amid the bustle of the city. But as he usually lived in his own place, the house had been empty all this time. He remembered that he’d seen one of Shen Mo’s paintings before, one that depicted Shen Mo’s dream house, so he had someone redecorate the house based on the painting.

 

In particular, the room used for the study had the best lighting; Ji Mingxuan went out of his way to turn it into a studio. He bought all kinds of paint tools as well, although the walls still looked empty.

 

After thinking for a while, Ji Mingxuan decided to simply hang all of Shen Mo’s paintings. Of the paintings, some were landscapes while others were figures; some were official work while others were scribbled drafts. Only the signatures at the bottom were the same.

 

It had taken Ji Mingxuan quite some time to collect those paintings. But no matter how troublesome, it was something that money could solve. The most difficult things were what money couldn’t solve. How to make one person fall in love with another, for example.

 

Having hung the paintings, Ji Mingxuan felt quite satisfied with himself. However, although he’d prepared the gift, he couldn’t present it so bluntly. Referring to his past experiences of giving presents to Ji An’an, he went to a gift shop and bought a box to hold the key.

 

The sales assistant recommended a pretty box to him. After hearing it was a birthday present, the sales assistant even carefully decorated it and added a bow tie.

 

Today was Friday, and tomorrow was Saturday, which was Shen Mo’s birthday. Ji Mingxuan finished some of his work ahead of schedule. As long as he dealt with a few more documents in the evening, he’d have the entirety of tomorrow to spend with Shen Mo.

 

After getting off work, he went to a cake shop to order a cake and drove back to the old neighbourhood. When he parked the car, he didn’t get out in a hurry, but instead clutched the present box holding the key and examined it from every angle. 

 

He put it in the car for a while, then took it back into his grasp, as though it felt too hot to the touch; he didn’t know where to place it. Pulling himself back together, he looked up at the building in front of him. If Shen Mo accepted the present, they’d move out of here soon. Having lived in the small rental for so long, Ji Mingxuan felt a little reluctant to leave.

 

He took a deep breath and finally opened the door. As he had the first time he’d visited here, he stepped up the stairs. He knew that the lights were on in one of the homes in this building. Someone was waiting for him.

 

Ji Mingxuan’s attention returned from his memories. He gazed at the pair of silver-white rings before him. Both rings were no more than two plain circles; he’d gone out of his way to have them custom-made, and his assistant had just brought them back. That birthday present… In the end, he’d indeed given it to Shen Mo, but Shen Mo didn’t accept it.

 

The night right before Shen Mo’s birthday, Shen Mo remembered everything that had happened and realised that Ji Mingxuan wasn’t “Zhou Yang,” despite what he’d believed.

 

The doctor had also said that Shen Mo’s illness was improving and that one day he’d see the truth. But Ji Mingxuan hadn’t expected the day to come so quickly, so suddenly. Shen Mo felt as if he’d been deceived and even asked Ji Mingxuan why he'd pretended to be Zhou Yang and lied to him. Ji Mingxuan didn’t know what to say to him.

 

Of course, Ji Mingxuan had also tried to explain it many times, but how could he argue with someone who was ill? Now that Shen Mo had recovered, all that Ji Mingxuan had done in the past became unforgivable. But it was good to let Shen Mo know the truth. Shen Mo couldn’t live in his own dreams for his whole life.

 

It was somewhat different from Ji Mingxuan’s original plan, but Ji Mingxuan still gave the present to Shen Mo. He stuffed it into Shen Mo’s hands by force. Shen Mo was quite cautious, refusing to go with him, so he could only let Shen Mo take a look at Jinxiu Villa on his own, or…

 

“Or you can pretend that you never received it.”

 

It rained heavily that night. Ji Mingxuan went to Jinxiu Villa alone and waited there for three days. Shen Mo never came. This was probably the answer. But whenever it came to matters related to Shen Mo, Ji Mingxuan could never control himself. A week later, he went to the rental again.

 

He parked his car and waited downstairs. When Shen Mo came down to take out the rubbish, they met each other’s eyes. In an instant, Shen Mo averted his gaze as if Ji Mingxuan was no more than a stranger.

 

Once Ji Mingxuan knew how Shen Mo felt, he’d never bothered Shen Mo again. It wasn’t until two months ago, when he’d heard that Shen Mo had been forced out due to overdue rent, that he found Shen Mo, who was already on the verge of living on the streets.

 

Shen Mo looked much worse than before; the weight Ji Mingxuan had helped him put on had disappeared again, leaving him confused and dazed. Luckily, he was still mentally sane. He remembered being kidnapped and already having broken up with Zhou Yang.

 

Ji Mingxuan originally wanted to take Shen Mo home and care for him, but Shen Mo declined. Shen Mo said that they were just strangers, unwilling to accept Ji Mingxuan’s kindness.

 

Ji Mingxuan knew how stubborn Shen Mo was. After considering it over and over again, he drafted a contract and gave it to Shen Mo. It was quite an absurd agreement: to ensure the happiness of his own sister, Ji An’an, Shen Mo had to pretend to be his lover.

 

In reality, Ji An’an was far away overseas, so how could Shen Mo stand in her way? It was all just an excuse. But Shen Mo really believed it, and he also remembered that Ji Mingxuan had saved his life. To repay the deed, he readily signed the contract and moved in with Ji Mingxuan.

 

It was just that the two could never treat each other as they had before. Shen Mo pretended that he didn’t know Ji Mingxuan, so Ji Mingxuan could only try his best to cooperate. But in the name of putting on an act, he managed to do many things, including having the pair of rings custom-made.

 

The rings were of the most common style. Of the two, one had neither diamonds nor engravings, while the other had the same design but looked slightly different; there was something engraved on the inner side of the ring.

 

Ji Mingxuan looked at the two rings again and again and, in the end, gave the one without the engraving to his secretary. “Take it to Mr Shen.”

 

The secretary knew that Ji Mingxuan had spent quite some time on the rings, so he asked, “Should I put it in a box?”

 

“Don’t bother.”

 

“Then… should I tell Mr Shen that you went out of your way to have it custom-made, Mr Ji?”

 

Ji Mingxuan didn’t reply, only giving him a slight glance. The secretary immediately knew he’d misunderstood. He changed his words, “Should I just say you bought it at a store?”

 

Ji Mingxuan paused for a few seconds before he spoke, “Say that I didn’t have time and that you bought it at some random place.”

 

The secretary’s expression twisted for a moment; it looked rather amusing. But he still answered yes and went away with the ring.

 

Sitting alone in the office, Ji Mingxuan picked up the other ring and slowly brushed his fingertip across the letters engraved on it. And then he smiled, his gaze growing tender as he slid the ring onto his left ring finger.