The Missing Piece: 貌合神离
Chapter 1
“Zhou Yang is coming back tomorrow.”
When Shen Mo heard these words, he was kneeling on the ground, sucking Ji Mingxuan off.
Holding the heat in his mouth, he felt his knees grow sore on the cold, hard marble floor. It was an uncomfortable fusion of ice and fire. Like a blunt, rusting knife, the name “Zhou Yang” stabbed at his heart, sending blood flying everywhere. He almost felt as if his soul had been pulled out of his body.
Then, a sharp pain drove Shen Mo back to reality.
Ji Mingxuan grabbed his hair and forced him to look up. “What? Just hearing your old lover’s name makes you lose your composure?”
Shen Mo still had Ji Mingxuan’s cock in his mouth. He could only shake his head and try to make up for his distraction by licking him.
Ji Mingxuan sighed and relaxed, his erection growing larger in Shen Mo’s mouth. He glanced indifferently at Shen Mo’s body, as if he knew everything but cared too little to point it out. Looking down at him, he said, “Go deeper.”
Quickly, Shen Mo turned back to sucking and swallowing.
He’d always been bad at this, making no progress no matter how much porn he watched. Tonight, he was so distracted that Ji Mingxuan got bored too and released only once into his mouth.
When Shen Mo went to the bathroom to rinse his mouth, he found that his own reflection looked unfamiliar. His hair had grown much longer, his eyes almost covered by his bangs, and his lips were slightly swollen. There was still some semen at the corners of his mouth. He turned on the tap and heard the water splash.
Zhou Yang...
It almost seemed as though his relationship with Zhou Yang belonged to another lifetime.
Shen Mo was gargling when he heard the outside door being shut. He went out of the bathroom and found that Ji Mingxuan had already left. Clearly, Ji Mingxuan hadn’t enjoyed himself very much. He must’ve gone out for more fun.
Shen Mo scolded himself for being so absent-minded while sleeping with Mr Ji. Luckily, Ji Mingxuan had always had good-looking bedmates who were both gentle and skilled. Shen Mo felt a brief surge of guilt before he gladly let the issue go and went to bed.
He usually slept well and seldom dreamed. That night, however, he had a dream. He dreamed that he was in his university dormitory. The room was cramped, with books and problem sets scattered over the bunk bed. It was almost dusk. Half the room was bathed in twilight, while the rest was enveloped in darkness.
Having pinned Shen Mo against a corner of the room, Zhou Yang lowered his head to reach Shen Mo’s lips. Scattered footsteps passed outside the room.
They were so young and nervous that they were both sweating. Shen Mo opened his eyes slightly and caught sight of the stubble on Zhou Yang’s chin.
Then he woke up.
He didn’t know whether he was still dreaming. He’d slept so heavily that his face felt numb. The numbness didn’t fade until he had rubbed his face for a while.
He then cleaned himself up and went downstairs for breakfast, only to find Ji Mingxuan already dressed and reading the newspaper at the table.
Shen Mo looked up at the clock and asked, “Aren’t you going to work today, Mr Ji?”
Ji Mingxuan glanced at him before turning his gaze back to the newspaper.
“I’m going to the airport to pick someone up.”
Shen Mo was momentarily surprised.
Pick up whom? Zhou Yang?
Ji Mingxuan knew he had misunderstood and couldn’t help laughing. “An’an is also coming back today.”
Now he was fully awake.
Ji An’an was Ji Mingxuan’s dearest little sister and Zhou Yang’s childhood sweetheart. Their respective families, the Zhou family and the Ji family, had long been trying to set them up as a match, even sending them to study abroad together three years ago.
Now that Zhou Yang was back, Ji An’an would no doubt be with him.
Shen Mo got himself a glass of water and heard Ji Mingxuan say, “You’re coming with me.”
Shen Mo almost knocked over his glass.
“Mr Ji...”
Yet Ji Mingxuan still didn’t look up, slowly turning the silver ring on his left ring finger.
“Any concerns?”
Shen Mo had the same ring on his finger. He looked at his hand and finally answered, “No.”
Ji Mingxuan was satisfied, nodding. “Have something.”
Shen Mo ate without much enjoyment. At nine, they left for the airport. To make amends for his neglect last night, Shen Mo took Ji Mingxuan’s coat and helped him put it on.
Ji Mingxuan looked even better in daylight than at night. After taking a few steps forward, he suddenly turned around and waved at Shen Mo.
“Mr Ji...” At first, Shen Mo didn’t know what he meant.
A faint smile appeared at the corners of Ji Mingxuan’s mouth. His voice was beyond gentle: “Shen Mo, did you call the wrong name?”
Shen Mo finally remembered what he was supposed to do. He approached Ji Mingxuan and held his hand. “Mingxuan.”
“Yes.” Ji Mingxuan leaned affectionately toward him, whispering, “Don’t forget our relationship.”
“Lovers,” Shen Mo smoothly answered.
Fake lovers, he added in silence.
Acting had never been something Shen Mo was good at. If he were one of those celebrities living off what Ji Mingxuan provided, he’d probably cooperate with Ji Mingxuan better. But he was Shen Mo. Shen Mo felt quite sorry that Ji Mingxuan had to condescend to be with him.
They arrived at the airport early. Ji Mingxuan made three phone calls and sent two emails during their wait before the plane finally landed. Shen Mo had once dreamed of leaving this place with Zhou Yang. He later realised that freedom always came with a price.
Now he stood here, his hand held by Ji Mingxuan, watching Zhou Yang and Ji An’an walk toward them. The two seemed to be made for each other.
Ji An’an was two years younger than Ji Mingxuan, which put her right at the prime of her youth. Wearing a pink cloak and a small beret, she flew into Ji Mingxuan’s arms like a little bird.
“Brother!”
He patted her on the back and asked, “How was studying abroad?”
“Everything was great except not having you there.”
Ji Mingxuan chuckled when he heard her.
“Each year I fly almost a half dozen times to see you.”
“How could a half dozen times in three hundred and sixty-five days each year be enough?” answered Ji An’an. Ji Mingxuan laughed.
Shen Mo stood at the side and watched them talk. Suddenly, someone tall blocked the sunlight from him. Shen Mo turned around.
What he saw first was Zhou Yang’s chin. He still remembered how it had made him feel when they kissed. The stubble that Zhou Yang had at the time always seemed to tickle his heart.
After all these years, Zhou Yang was a little taller than Shen Mo remembered, though he looked as mature and reliable as before, with those rimless glasses on his nose.
Their eyes met, although it wasn’t as dramatic as what TV shows usually depicted. The words “long time no see” stuck in Shen Mo’s throat.
Before he could say them aloud, he heard Ji Mingxuan introducing him: “This is Shen Mo.”
Then Ji Mingxuan pointed at Zhou Yang and said, “Zhou Yang, my sister’s boyfriend.”
The word “boyfriend” was a warning. Shen Mo had to extend his hand.
“Hello, Mr Zhou.”
Zhou Yang didn’t shake hands with him.
“What a coincidence.” He looked at Shen Mo. “We were classmates in high school, Mr Shen. Don’t you remember?”
If this had happened several years ago, Shen Mo would’ve felt incredibly embarrassed. But in his years of being with Ji Mingxuan, the only progress he had made was growing a thicker skin.
“I’m sorry. My memory’s not so great,” he smiled and said.
They stood there greeting one another for so long that Ji An’an began to complain of hunger. Ji Mingxuan immediately turned back toward her and asked, “What do you want for lunch?”
“Seafood.”
Ji Mingxuan had always been a good brother, giving her whatever she wanted. But this time, he refused, “Not today. We can have seafood on our own next time.”
“Why not?”
Ji Mingxuan put a hand on Shen Mo’s shoulder. His strength was neither too heavy nor too light, suggesting a vague intimacy between the two. He answered,
“He’s allergic to seafood.”
Zhou Yang’s gaze changed. He didn’t say anything. Although Ji An’an had a bit of a spoiled princess’s character, she wasn’t too picky or hard to please. She waved her hand.
“Then let’s eat something else.”
As she spoke, she studied Shen Mo quietly. Ji Mingxuan didn’t show anything on the surface. He held Shen Mo’s hand the entire way. In the end, they had lunch at a European restaurant that Ji Mingxuan usually went to. It wasn’t big, but the atmosphere was good.
Ji Mingxuan ordered a bottle of wine and flaunted the ring on his left hand when he picked up his wine glass. One would expect no less from someone who hung out with actors so often—his performance was extremely natural, not at all pretentious.
Shen Mo was so utterly impressed that he almost applauded him. During their lunch, Ji An’an talked the most, babbling all the way from the English weather to her Korean classmate.
Zhou Yang was quiet as usual. Ji Mingxuan was the busiest, paying attention to what Ji An’an was saying while also taking care of Shen Mo.
Shen Mo wasn’t used to European cuisine, so Ji Mingxuan cut his steak for him, adding, “Next time we’ll have your favourite peking duck.”
Seeing this, even Ji An’an had mixed feelings. “Brother, if you keep on giving off so much PDA, I’m gonna get jealous.”
Ji Mingxuan didn’t reply. He only smiled at Shen Mo with a wink. Shen Mo felt beyond flattered. Luckily, he still had some self-awareness.
Everyone knew that Mr Ji had a bad temper and showed patience only to his family. It was all thanks to Ji An’an that he’d attained the honour of being treated so tenderly.
“You like Peking duck, Mr Shen?” asked Zhou Yang, who had been silent all along.
Shen Mo answered, “That’s right. I tend to prefer Chinese food.”
Zhou Yang looked at him deeply. “We were in the same class for three years, and I never knew you were allergic to seafood.”
“My allergic reaction isn’t too serious. Maybe you didn’t notice, Mr Zhou.”
With an unassuming personality, Ji An’an didn’t see the storm that passed between them. She joined their conversation: “You two were classmates, weren’t you? Why are you so polite to each other?”
The corners of Zhou Yang’s mouth twitched. “I’m not too familiar with Mr Shen.”
He then lowered his head and went back to his meal.
In the past, Zhou Yang had always said little, while Shen Mo had talked a lot. Even about a small thing, Shen Mo could prattle on for ages.
One time, they argued, and Zhou Yang yelled at him, “Shen Mo, Shen Mo—why can’t you be as quiet as your name suggests?”
After getting together with Ji Mingxuan, Shen Mo had indeed become quieter. It was because he knew that nobody would listen, no matter how much he spoke.
Shen Mo was a little absent-minded. Suddenly, he heard Ji Mingxuan ask,
“When are you getting married?”
Ji An’an’s face turned red immediately.
“Brother...”
“Or do you want to date him for your entire life? Even if I’m alright with it, the elders of the Zhou family would never let it happen.”
“We just got back, and we have so many things to do. I’ve talked about this with Zhou Yang already. We’ll think about the other things after his career is settled.”
Ji Mingxuan teased her, “Aren’t you afraid your boyfriend might run away with someone else?”
“There’s no way. Zhou Yang isn’t that kind of person,” Ji An’an said with a sweet smile. She knocked her arm against Zhou Yang’s and asked, “Are you?”
Zhou Yang didn’t say yes or no. He just looked at Shen Mo. Shen Mo felt like he was sitting on pins and needles. He could only stand up. “Excuse me. I need to use the toilet.”
Not many people had lunch in the restaurant. There were even fewer people in the toilets. Shen Mo washed his face with cold water, thinking that he should get a hold of himself. He looked up only to find Ji Mingxuan reflected in the mirror as well.
“Mr Ji.”
Crossing his arms, Ji Mingxuan gave Shen Mo a meaningful smile.
“Rekindling your love with your ex-boyfriend?”
“I wasn’t...” Shen Mo denied it immediately.
“All I saw was you flirting with Zhou Yang.”
“You’re mistaken, Mr Ji.”
“Am I?”
Ji Mingxuan took a step forward, grasped Shen Mo’s chin, and asked, “Now that you’ve met An’an, what do you think of her?”
Shen Mo didn’t dare to stay quiet. He replied honestly, “Miss Ji is sweet and innocent. She’s very likeable.”
“The silly girl has been in love with Zhou Yang ever since she was young,” said Ji Mingxuan, with a tenderness that rarely showed up in his eyes. He gently stroked Shen Mo’s eyebrows with his fingers.
“I don’t care whether Zhou Yang loves men, women, or even vegetative patients. An’an likes him, so he can only be hers. Understood?”
Ji Mingxuan spoke in the lukewarm tone he usually used at business meetings, but Shen Mo knew him well. If Shen Mo dared say “no,” he wouldn’t even be able to find his own dead bones tomorrow.
He forced the words through gritted teeth: “I know. I won’t involve myself with him any further...”
“Good,” Ji Mingxuan whispered, switching to a carrot-and-stick approach.
“Do as I say, and nothing will happen.”
Meanwhile, his fingers slid along Shen Mo’s neck and gradually into the collar of his shirt. Shen Mo was so frightened that his face turned pale. He reminded him, “Mr Ji, we’re in public.”
“Shh, do you want to get the whole restaurant in here?”
Ji Mingxuan always did what he said he’d do. Shen Mo had to bite his lip to stop himself from making a sound.
Ji Mingxuan knew Shen Mo’s body well. With just some light touching, Shen Mo’s face turned from pale to flushed. Ji Mingxuan smiled. He continued teasing Shen Mo’s chest with his fingers before suddenly pressing heavily—
“Nng...” Shen Mo couldn’t help but moan.
Ji Mingxuan pressed him against the sink mirror, separated his legs with his knees, and slipped a hand beneath the hem of his coat.
All of Shen Mo was inside Ji Mingxuan’s hand.
Shen Mo’s legs trembled slightly. His reason was taken over by desire, and his thoughts were a mess. Ji Mingxuan was his only antidote. He grabbed the man’s shoulders and begged him in a small voice,
“Mr Ji...”
Ji Mingxuan stroked Shen Mo’s weakness at will, asking, “What do you call me?”
“Mingxuan...” Shen Mo shivered. His voice sounded sweet and tempting: “Ji Mingxuan...”
“Good.” Ji Mingxuan looked down and kissed Shen Mo on the top of his head. Moving his fingers swiftly, Ji Mingxuan finally got Shen Mo to climax.
Entranced by pleasure, Shen Mo’s body grew soft. Ji Mingxuan hugged Shen Mo’s waist with one hand and lifted the dirtied fingers of his other hand toward Shen Mo’s mouth.
Shen Mo was about to lick the slender fingers when he heard Ji Mingxuan laugh and say toward the door, “Zhou Yang, have you seen enough?”
Hearing the name, Shen Mo suddenly woke to his senses. He wanted to look back but was firmly trapped in Ji Mingxuan’s arm.
After a while, Zhou Yang’s voice came from behind the door: “You’ve been gone for too long. An’an was worried and asked me to check on you.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Shen Mo’s not feeling so well.”
“Does he need to go to the hospital?”
“No. I’ll let the driver take him home first.”
Zhou Yang suddenly called out his full name, “Ji Mingxuan—”
Ji Mingxuan smiled. “Just call me ‘Brother’, as An’an does. We’ll soon be family, anyway.”
He spoke clearly and deliberately. Zhou Yang stood still for a while. Then he heard Zhou Yang’s footsteps as he walked away.
Hearing the steps fade away, Shen Mo felt all of his strength leave him. He slumped against the sink the moment Ji Mingxuan released his grip.
Ji Mingxuan let him be. He removed the ring from his hand, neither too quickly nor too slowly, and turned on the tap to wash his hands. Shen Mo couldn’t help asking,
“Did you do that on purpose, Mr Ji?”
Ji Mingxuan was still washing his hands. He asked, “What do you think?” Shen Mo knew the answer.
Ji Mingxuan had good-looking hands. When he finished and put the ring back on, he glanced at Shen Mo. “Zhou Yang and my sister will be engaged very soon; do you believe me?”
Shen Mo nodded. “I do.”
He looked at his left hand and slowly answered, “There’s nothing you want to do that you can’t do, Mr Ji.”
Ji Mingxuan narrowed his eyes and showed no emotion. He turned around.
“Come.”
He couldn’t drive because he’d had some alcohol, so he called his driver to take Shen Mo home. Shen Mo didn’t feel sick, but he did feel an inexplicable fatigue after entertaining Ji Mingxuan for so long. He fell asleep right after he entered his bedroom.
Shen Mo slept so well that he woke up at ten at night. He hadn’t had dinner, so he decided to go downstairs and make something to eat. He didn’t expect to meet Ji An’an when he entered the kitchen.
They both felt embarrassed. It was Ji An’an who called him first, “Shen-ge.”
Shen Mo didn’t know how Ji Mingxuan had explained their relationship. He just nodded and asked, “You didn’t have dinner either?”
“I did, but I got hungry again. I came to see if I could find anything to eat.”
“I wanted to make some noodles. Would you like some?”
Ji An’an seemed pampered, but she wasn’t picky. She said yes. Shen Mo took the noodles out of the cupboard, boiled some water, and added them to the pot. Ji An’an stood at the side to help him, chatting with him at times.
“Shen-ge, do you feel better now?”
“Yeah, I was a little tired. I’m better now. Sorry, I still owe you seafood.”
“It’s okay. Brother said he’d make it up to me.”
“You didn’t have dinner together?”
Ji An’an was a little shy. “I went to the Zhou family for dinner. I haven’t seen Mr and Mrs Zhou in a long time.”
“Oh,” Shen Mo replied, “I heard the Zhou and the Ji families have always had a good relationship. The elders of the Zhou family must like you a lot.”
“The Zhou family does have some business relations with us. I grew up with Zhou Yang, but he’s quite a stuffy person. I’ve always been the one who took the initiative until we went abroad later...”
Ji An’an pursed her lips and said to herself, “I heard that a couple’s relationship is stronger if it’s both of their first times in love. I wonder if it’s true.”
The water had come to the boil. Hot air escaped from the pot the moment Shen Mo lifted the lid. He blinked hard and replied in a soft voice, “... Of course.”
After all, Ji An’an was still young. She felt a little uncomfortable and changed the topic. “It’s ten already. Why hasn’t Brother come back yet?”
Shen Mo added two eggs into the pot and answered, “He often has to attend social events in the evening.”
“Shen-ge, you really have a good temper.”
Ji An’an was curious. “How did you two meet each other? Was it love at first sight? Or did it happen with time?”
Not expecting Ji An’an to ask him such a question, Shen Mo accidentally scalded his hand with the boiling water. He retracted it at once. He didn’t answer the question. He didn’t respond for so long that Ji An’an began to find it strange. Looking up at the dark sky outside the window, he said calmly, “Mr Ji... saved my life.”
Without Ji Mingxuan, he might have been dead, or even worse than dead. Shen Mo had nothing but his body as compensation. Unfortunately, maintaining a sexual relationship required technical skills too. He wasn’t up to standard; Ji Mingxuan often said he behaved like a dead fish.
Mr Ji didn’t come home tonight either. Before Shen Mo went to bed, he examined himself seriously. He did need to improve his skills.
Shen Mo rarely had nightmares, and even when he did, it was always the same scene.
He stood alone in the dark, trying to make a phone call. He knew the number so well that it seemed to be engraved in his heart. But no one answered. They had made countless phone calls when they were in love and exchanged copious amounts of sweet words. But on that one day, he couldn’t get through at all.
No matter how many times he dialled, the other phone was always turned off. Shen Mo was so scared that his fingers trembled as he dialled. Suddenly, a hand reached out of the darkness and seized his ankle—
In the morning, Shen Mo was woken up by his alarm. He opened his eyes and looked at the time, realising that it was Monday and that he had to go to work. Ji Mingxuan was also the one who had given him a job at a small company owned by the Ji family. It was easy work; he had nothing to do except sit in the office every day.
All of his colleagues said he was easy-going and had a good temper. He did whatever they asked him to do, even when he was occasionally given random tasks.
Today, the department manager came to him again during lunch break and asked him to design a poster.
Shen Mo shook his head and said, “I can’t do it.”
“Didn’t you study art in university?”
He only replied, “I really can’t do it.”
The manager didn’t force Shen Mo. He nodded and left. When afternoon came, Shen Mo heard rumours about himself in the break room.
“I never knew Shen Mo was so full of himself.”
“Don’t you know? He has connections here.”
“Connections with whom?”
“The one and only...”
“Mr Ji? No way. Isn’t he dating that movie star?”
“Well, how can a man as rich as him have only one lover? ”
Shen Mo let whatever they said go in one ear and out the other, as if he had never heard it at all. He went back to the office, got a pen, and started drawing on the paper, but his right hand trembled heavily. It was like when he had been desperately dialling the number that day. The lines he drew were crooked and completely distorted.
He stared at the paper for a long time before throwing it into the bin. He hadn’t drawn in three years. His family wasn’t wealthy. He worked part-time at university and painted portraits for people to earn money. Sometimes, when he had no customers for most of the day, Zhou Yang would come over and model for him. Those were good times.
Afterwards, he went to several hospitals. All of the doctors said that the injury to his right hand had already healed and wouldn’t affect his daily life. The doctors thought that his inability to pick up a paintbrush was probably psychological.
So Shen Mo didn’t continue with treatment. He no longer had to make a living by painting, anyway, now that he’d met Ji Mingxuan. Everything that had happened became a memory. It was better to forget it all.
As Shen Mo was preparing to walk home after work, his phone rang the moment he stepped outside the company’s door. He was about to check who was calling when he suddenly heard someone call his name: “Shen Mo.”
Shen Mo looked back and saw a black car slowly pull over to the side of the road. The window was half open. Sitting in the driver’s seat, Zhou Yang said,
“Get in.”
He was just as he had always been, never wasting a word. But Shen Mo wasn’t the same as before. He stood still.
Zhou Yang said, “I just want to have dinner with you.”
Shen Mo asked, “Where’s Miss Ji?”
Zhou Yang frowned. “Does it have anything to do with her?”
“It’s not good for us to eat alone.”
“We broke up, but we’re still high school classmates at the very least. Why can’t we have dinner together?”
The sun was setting in the west. The side of Zhou Yang’s face seemed particularly handsome in the twilight. He looked at Shen Mo and said,
“Xiao-Mo, get in.”
It reminded Shen Mo of the times when he had sat in the corner of the classroom at dusk, sketching Zhou Yang’s face on paper again and again. He closed his eyes for a while before finally opening the door and getting in the car.
Shen Mo didn’t expect Zhou Yang to treat him to seafood. Facing the dishes on the table, he didn’t pick up the chopsticks. Nor did Zhou Yang, who asked,
“Are you really allergic to seafood?”
“I get rashes on my body, but it’s not too serious.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
Shen Mo smiled.
He didn’t tell him because he didn’t want to let him down. People in love felt sweet even when they suffered for their lovers.
Zhou Yang picked up the menu and ordered a few other dishes. With a self-mocking smile, he said, “Even Ji Mingxuan knows you better than I do.”
Shen Mo thought that it was only natural. Mr Ji must have investigated him before contacting him. Ji Mingxuan was a typical perfectionist. Even when it came to acting, he had to act perfectly.
The new dishes hadn’t come yet. Zhou Yang poured Shen Mo a cup of tea and asked, “How have you been doing these years?”
Three years. Countless days and nights. Shen Mo concluded in only two words, “I’m fine.”
“I thought you’d get a job related to art.”
“My current one is better. The work is easy, and the salary is high.”
“What about Ji Mingxuan? I heard he’s fine with both men and women. People gossip about him and those young actors quite a lot. ”
A corner of Shen Mo’s mouth twitched. “Ji… Mingxuan has a high status, after all. It’s no wonder that rumours float around him. But rumours are just rumours. Yesterday, you saw how he treats me.”
When Shen Mo mentioned what Zhou Yang had witnessed the previous day, Zhou Yang’s expression darkened.
Shen Mo pretended he didn’t see it. He drank some tea and asked, “What about you? You look like you lost weight while you were abroad.”
“It was a different country, after all. The food there couldn’t compare with the food here. I fell ill once, but all my friends and family were thousands of miles away. I really couldn’t get any help. Good thing An’an was there to take care of me.”
Shen Mo said sincerely, “You and Miss Ji are really a great match.”
Zhou Yang didn’t respond for a while. All of a sudden, he grabbed Shen Mo’s hands.
“Shen Mo, you still owe me an explanation, don’t you?”
“What?”
“Why did you break up with me?”
“Why?” Shen Mo repeated the word. He thought for a while and answered, “I don’t quite remember. Maybe it was because our personalities were too different.”
“We were together for so many years since high school. How could our personalities not match?”
“There are many aspects to personality. For example... you’re the only heir of the Zhou family. Will your parents accept our relationship?”
His words stabbed right into Zhou Yang’s weak spot. Zhou Yang’s face turned stiff. He replied, “My parents are old-fashioned people. They wouldn’t let me have a relationship with a man. But I told you I’d find a way to persuade them.”
Shen Mo slowly pushed Zhou Yang’s hands away from his own. “And the way you found was to go abroad together with Miss Ji?”
“... I knew it.” Zhou Yang sighed and replied, “Yes, I accepted their arrangements and went abroad to reassure them. But I wasn’t in a relationship with An’an at the time, and I booked return tickets the moment I got off the plane. What happened next? You refused to see me. You only called me to break up with me over half a month later.
“I thought you were angry at me for going abroad. Looking back now...” Zhou Yang sneered and said, “Were you already banging Ji Mingxuan?”
Shen Mo was momentarily stunned. It felt as though an earthquake had struck. The mountains shook beneath his feet, and his ears caught the roar. But in the mere blink of an eye, everything went back to normal.
He was still sitting in the restaurant, surrounded by food and wine on a fine spring day. But he felt that he’d been seriously wounded. His insides twisted, wrenching at his heart, liver and lungs. Shen Mo opened his mouth, but he didn’t have the energy to say a single word.
Which was why he didn’t tell Zhou Yang that when Zhou Yang had come back looking for him, he was lying on a hospital bed in intensive care. Nor did he tell Zhou Yang about that day three years ago, when he had dialled Zhou Yang’s number countless times out of fear and desperation while Zhou Yang was sitting on a plane thousands of miles away, beside Ji An’an.
They finished dinner in a bad mood. Shen Mo didn’t let Zhou Yang drive him home. Instead, he walked back by himself. It was almost eight when he got home. The lights of several rooms were off; it was obvious that Mr Ji and Miss Ji hadn’t come back yet.
Shen Mo felt especially tired in the past few days, so he went directly to his bedroom to sleep. As he went in and was about to turn on the light, he suddenly heard a cough in the darkness.
Shen Mo was startled. He immediately recognised whose voice it was and said, “Mr Ji? You’re back so early?”
Again, he asked, “Why didn’t you turn on the light?”
While talking, he went toward the light switch, but he heard Ji Mingxuan say, “Don’t turn on the light. Just come here.”
Shen Mo’s eyes gradually adapted to the darkness. He could vaguely make out Ji Mingxuan sitting alone by the window.
Outside the window was the breathtaking nightscape of the city. He felt his way toward Ji Mingxuan, but halfway there, he tripped over something and almost fell to the ground. Just in time, Ji Mingxuan reached out to help him.
Shen Mo was going to thank Ji Mingxuan when Ji Mingxuan dragged him into his arms. The night was too quiet. He bumped against Ji Mingxuan’s chest and caught the faint scent of tobacco. Shen Mo looked up and asked, “Have you had dinner yet, Mr Ji?”
“I did,” Ji Mingxuan replied. “I wanted to have dinner with you, but you seem quite busy these days.”
Shen Mo then remembered that he’d received a phone call after work. Zhou Yang stopped him, so he didn’t have time to see who was calling.
“I’m sorry. I...” He was so bad at lying that he couldn’t even come up with an excuse.
Ji Mingxuan knew everything already. He let go of Shen Mo. “A wise man learns from his mistakes, while a foolish one falls into the same pits. Shen Mo, don’t you think that you’re really foolish beyond help?”
Shen Mo answered carefully, “It’s fine that I’m foolish, Mr Ji, as long as you’re a wise man.”
Perhaps his words satisfied Ji Mingxuan. Shen Mo heard him let out a low laugh.
“You had dinner with Zhou Yang tonight?”
“I did,” Shen Mo admitted at once, determined to reassure him, “but I won’t meet him alone again. He and Miss Ji are meant to be together.”
“I’m glad that you understand.”
Ji Mingxuan smiled again. The darkness was hazy, making it difficult for Shen Mo to recognise the expression on Ji Mingxuan’s face. Ji Mingxuan’s fingers brushed against Shen Mo’s hair as he said, “Take off your clothes.”
Shen Mo felt relieved and hurried to unbutton his clothes.
When he was almost finished, Ji Mingxuan gestured for him to come over. Shen Mo immediately understood and took the initiative to sit on Ji Mingxuan with his legs parted.
Ji Mingxuan put two fingers into Shen Mo’s mouth. Shen Mo dutifully began to lick them. He wasn’t good at sex, but he always believed that diligence could make up for it. He worked hard every time.
Seeing Shen Mo’s effort, Ji Mingxuan didn’t criticise his terrible skills too much this time. Once his fingers were wet, Ji Mingxuan pushed them inside Shen Mo.
Shen Mo let out a moan. His body shivered.
Ji Mingxuan was also turned on, whispering in Shen Mo’s ear, “Relax.”
Shen Mo wrapped his arms around Ji Mingxuan’s neck and tried to raise his hips so that Ji Mingxuan’s fingers could enter more easily. Soon, the entrance grew soft and wet, contracting as it waited for something larger to enter.
Ji Mingxuan was quite patient. He wasn’t in a hurry to enter Shen Mo, but instead kept playing with Shen Mo’s body with his fingers. At times, he scraped against Shen Mo’s soft inner walls, and at other times, he pressed hard against Shen Mo’s sensitive spot.
The pleasure continued to accumulate yet couldn’t reach a climax. Shen Mo twisted his waist impatiently, his own erection standing between Ji Mingxuan’s legs.
“Mr Ji...” Shen Mo’s whole body flushed red as he pleaded.
Ji Mingxuan’s eyes darkened. Removing his fingers, he said, “Do it yourself.”
Shen Mo looked down, unzipped Ji Mingxuan’s trousers and rubbed himself against the heat. Then, he parted his already wet entrance to swallow the erection, inch by inch. Ji Mingxuan grabbed his waist with both hands and thrust hard.
“Ah...” Shen Mo’s heart throbbed. He instinctively called out to Ji Mingxuan.
“Mr Ji...”
Ji Mingxuan only held him tighter, sliding in and out of his body. Shen Mo felt as if he was struggling amid ocean waves. Every time he thought he’d be rescued, a higher tide came over him.
Ji Mingxuan was particularly insatiable tonight. Shen Mo had no strength left toward the end, speaking in a hoarse voice, “Mr Ji, I can’t anymore...”
Ji Mingxuan let him go and carried him to bed. Lifting Shen Mo’s legs, he started thrusting again. Finally, he ground his hips against Shen Mo and plunged deep into his body. As though receiving an electric shock, Shen Mo couldn’t stop trembling.
Ji Mingxuan gazed at him in the dim light. He suddenly lowered his head to kiss him.
Although they’d had sex countless times, they rarely behaved so intimately. Shen Mo froze, turning his head away out of reflex.
“Shen Mo,” Ji Mingxuan called his name, closing in again to kiss him on the lips. He was good at kissing. Shen Mo almost drowned in the tenderness.
Right then, Ji Mingxuan smiled and bit down hard on Shen Mo’s lip.