Teach me, Touch me. 

Part 20: Is It Worth Waiting For?

 

Kanthi, a man of vast experience, was like a gas stove-always ready to ignite. Yet, it seemed Gear had chosen not to light that flame. The two had grown distant, with the student claiming he had an overwhelming amount of work to finish.

 

Kanthi couldn't reach out to Gear as much as he wanted. All he could do was wait, restless, for the day they'd meet again. During their time apart, Kanthi had no idea what Gear was up to. To make matters worse, Gear had cruelly cut off all contact.

 

"Kanthi, I think you've had too much," Porsche said, breaking the hours of silence they'd shared at the table. Kanthi froze, the glass in his hand hovering near his lips. He acted as if he'd listened, but in the end, Kanthi, consumed by his impatience, downed the drink in one go, his face clouded with frustration.

 

"I don't get drunk that easily," he muttered.

 

"I know you're stressed, but calm down. Getting drunk won't make N' Gear come to you."

 

"It's the start of the month. Gear's free today," Kanthi said firmly, though deep down, he wasn't sure at all.

 

"You really think so? You haven't seen him in a month."

 

"Then what do you want me to do?"

 

"The club's about to close. Are you still holding out hope?" Porsche asked bluntly, glancing at his watch.

 

".."

"But if it's something important, maybe he'll show up. At least to tell you he's back with his ex and that you should stop bothering him," Porsche added, half-jokingly.

 

"Porsche, you asshole!" Kanthi cursed under his breath. Despite the lack of comforting words, Porsche understood Kanthi better than anyone.

 

"Heh, I never thought I'd see you like this, Kan."

 

"You never cared about younger guys. You didn't like the quiet, well-behaved type. You just wanted casual fun. And now look at you, you-completely head over heels for a kid you once said wasn't your type."

 

"Go ahead, mock me. But when it's your turn, I'll be right there to laugh at you."

 

"Then let me enjoy mocking you today first."

 

"You're so damn annoying," Kanthi grumbled, his tone revealing his irritation. He stood up to his full height and decided to step outside the club.

 

The tall man felt a headache coming on from the crowded atmosphere and the pounding music. He reached for a cigarette, hoping it'd provide a momentary escape, a brief relief from the heat of his emotions. But even that couldn't quell the storm inside him.

 

White smoke curled into the nicotine-filled air as Kanthi took a deep drag, exhaling slowly, trying to match the rhythm of his erratic heartbeat. The ash at the tip of the cigarette burned and fell to the ground bit by bit. Kanthi's eyes followed it, as if trying to focus his thoughts.

 

In the end, he simply watched the cigarette burn away, barely smoking it. With a weary sigh, he discarded the remaining stub into a nearby ashtray and turned to head back inside the club.

 

"...Gear." His steps halted abruptly, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he couldn't believe his eyes. The young man he'd been waiting for stood right in front of him.

 

"..." Gear stood still, offering a faint smile to the man who'd just called his name. Kanthi walked toward him without hesitation, though he stopped a short distance away. 

 

There were still unanswered questions lingering between them. He studied the familiar, delicate face he'd thought about constantly. Those captivating eyes still held their charm, pulling at his heart even more than before. The familiar scent of Gear was so intoxicating that Kanthi didn't want just to stand there and look.

 

"Do you know how much I've missed you?" Kanthi couldn't hold back any longer. He stepped closer until only a small gap remained between them. His hand reached out to gently cradle Gear's face, his fingers brushing softly as if trying to convey all his feelings through that touch.

 

".." Gear met Kanth's gaze, listening to his words as if in a dream. He couldn't deny the joy he felt hearing them, nor the comfort of Kanthi's warm hand and familiar scent.

 

"Gear," Kanthi called softly, his voice trembling slightly as he looked into the younger man's eyes. It was as if he had more to say.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Did you... Go back to your ex?" For the first time, Kanthi, a man who feared nothing, felt nervous. His own question and the answer he was about to hear made his heart race. Gear's response would determine everything from this moment on.

 

"..What if I said yes? What would you do, Kanthi?"

 

"I wouldn't touch you," Kanthi replied firmly, though his voice carried a hint of disappointment.

 

"And what if I said no?" Gear asked, his eyes meeting Kanthi's. He didn't want to assume too much, but he hoped that his absence and return wouldn't hurt Kanthi as much as he'd feared.

 

"I'd kiss you." Kanthi's voice was steady, his intense gaze fixed on the lips he spoke of. The taller man's fingers lightly traced Gear's familiar lips, lips he'd never forgotten, lips he'd always longed for.

 

"Then, Kanthi, will you kiss me?" Gear tilted his face into Kanthi's warm hand, stepping closer until there was almost no space left between them.

 

"Gear..."

 

"Will you kiss me?"

 

"But I just smoked."

 

"I told you, I don't mind."

 

Kanthi looked into Gear's eyes and surrendered. He wrapped an arm around the younger man's waist, pulling him close, and pressed his lips against Gear's without hesitation. Both pairs of eyes closed, savouring the moment they'd both longed for.

 

The kiss wasn't fiery but soft and deliberate, making their hearts race more than ever. Kanthi poured all his emotions into the kiss, moving his lips gently yet passionately, savouring the sweetness he'd missed. His arms tightened around Gear, pulling him even closer.

 

"Ah," they both exhaled softly as their lips parted, their foreheads still pressed together. Kanthi's large hands cupped Gear's face, sharing the warmth coursing through his body.

 

"I didn't go back to him," Gear whispered, his voice barely audible but clear in the zero distance between them.

 

"Thank you, Gear," Kanthi said with a smile before leaning in for another kiss, this time more intense.

 

He slid his tongue into Gear's mouth, savouring the sweetness he'd craved. Gear welcomed him eagerly, their tongues intertwining with longing. Kanthi's skilled lips teased and tugged at Gear's, his passion igniting a heat that spread through the younger man's body. Gear's face flushed, matching the fiery intensity of Kanthi's kiss.