Teach me, Touch me. 

Part 18: Decision Making.

 

Let Gear go? Hold on to Gear? Everything was a whirlwind of confusion, but Kanthi was more impulsive than he'd anticipated. Even though Gear had already mentioned he was busy working on a report, Kanthi decided to cast aside propriety and visit the young man at his condo in the dead of night.

 

"Gear, I'm in the lobby of your condo. Can you come down to see me?" Kanthi called Gear as soon as he arrived. The voice on the other end sounded slightly surprised, but didn't press him with questions.

 

Kanthi's uneasy tone spurred Gear into action. The young man quickly left his room and hurried down to the lobby, puzzled by Kanthi's sudden appearance at this hour. His calm voice made it impossible to discern his mood.

 

When the elevator doors slid open, Gear stepped out and immediately spotted Kanthi waiting. His handsome face was calm and composed, but his sharp eyes, which usually carried a dangerous glint, now held a contemplative look that Gear had never seen before.

 

"Kanthi, is something wrong? Why did you come all the way here to see me?" Gear asked as he stopped in front of him, tilting his head slightly to observe him for any signs of distress.

 

"..." Kanthi heard the question but found himself unable to respond. He was too focused on Gear's smooth face and those captivating eyes. The thoughts that had been swirling in his mind all day continued to flood in, overwhelming him to the point where he could no longer contain his emotions.

 

"Kanthi, I-ah!" Gear called out again when he noticed Kanthi wasn't responding. But before he could say more, Kanthi suddenly pulled him into an embrace, catching him off guard.

 

Kanthi's arms wrapped tightly around Gear, pressing the younger man against his chest. His face was gently cradled against Kanthis's firm chest, covered by a dark shirt. A large hand softly stroked Gear's silky hair, and Kanthi placed tender kisses on his head repeatedly.

 

Though surprised by Kanthi's actions, Gear allowed himself to sink into the embrace without asking any questions. Let Gear go?

 

Not anymore! If there came a day when he could no longer look into those eyes, feel the familiar softness of those lips, see the smaller man smiling up at him, or hold him close in bed, even in their most vulnerable moments, Kanthi knew he couldn't bear it.

 

Kanthi realised that what tied him to the young man before him wasn't just infatuation. It wasn't just about physical intimacy. Gear had become more than just a casual lover, more than just a fleeting pleasure. And because of that, Kanthi couldn't let him slip away.

 

"Kanthi, are you okay?" Gear's muffled voice asked again as he remained in the embrace of the broad-shouldered man. His cheek rested against Kanthi's chest, which carried a familiar, comforting scent. Gear didn't return the hug, but he also didn't resist Kanthi's touch.

 

"..I missed you," Kanthi finally said as he pulled back slightly, placing both hands on Gear's shoulders and looking him in the eye.

 

"Missed me?" Gear repeated softly, almost in disbelief that such words could come from someone like Kanthi. He wasn't entirely sure what kind of "missing" Kanthi was referring to.

 

"Is that so hard to believe?" Kanthi's thick brows furrowed slightly, and a faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He found Gear's reaction endearing and couldn't help but feel a little sorry for himself, knowing his words might not carry much weight.

 

"It's not that I don't believe you... It just feels a bit strange."

 

"Then what do I have to do to make you believe me? I really missed you, Gear."

 

"But we just saw each other this morning. Or are you drunk, Kanthi?" Gear teased, standing on his tiptoes to sniff around Kanthi's body. Kanthi couldn't help but smile at the younger man's adorable gesture.

 

"I haven't had a drink."

 

"..." Gear tilted his head slightly, looking up at the taller man with a sceptical expression that clearly showed he wasn't entirely convinced.

 

"Should we kiss to prove I'm not drunk?" 

 

Kanthi's straightforward and mischievous nature slipped out, leaving Gear wide-eyed and struggling to hide his smile, though he couldn't completely suppress it.

 

"You should head back to your room. I won't bother you anymore," Gear said, trying to maintain his composure.

 

"That's it? You're sending me off already?"

 

"Yes." Though his words were firm, Kanthi's eyes pleaded silently. His large hand cupped Gear's soft cheek, his thumb gently brushing against it.

 

"Do you... want to come up first?" Kanthi asked, hiding a sly smile behind his otherwise calm expression. He knew Gear would respond with something like this. He didn't want to rely on his experience or cunning to manipulate the younger man, but at least it sounded better than outright asking to enter his private space.

 

"If you're just being polite, I'd rather not bother you."

 

"No, no, I'm serious," Gear quickly waved his hands to clarify, not realising he was misunderstanding Kanthi's intentions.

 

Though Kanthi often dropped Gear off at his condo, he'd never been up to the fifteenth floor where Gear's room was. It was usually more convenient to take Gear back to his own place instead.

 

Gear's spacious room, perfect for a single occupant, was neatly arranged. The soft, pleasant scent matched its owner. A movie was playing on the television, and in front of the sofa was a coffee table cluttered with books, a MacBook, snacks, and drinks.

 

"Please have a seat, Kanthi. I'll get you some cold water," Gear said, leading Kanthi to the sofa. He moved the stack of books off the table before heading to the kitchen, but Kanthi gently grabbed his hand to stop him.

 

"No need. Just sit down and work on your report."

 

".." Kanthi didn’t say another word but conveyed his intent through his sharp eyes, lightly pulling Gear's hand to guide him back to his work.

 

"Alright, but let me know if you need anything," Gear said, sitting cross-legged on the soft carpet. He focused on his MacBook and the books spread out on the coffee table, while Kanthi sat quietly on the sofa behind him.

Kanthi tried to be a considerate adult. Since he'd intruded on the younger man's time, he chose to sit silently, watching the movie on the television to avoid disturbing Gear's concentration. Though Gear occasionally turned to chat with him, Kanthi kept his responses brief.

 

"Finally done!" Gear stretched his arms above his head and twisted his body slightly, letting out a satisfied sigh after an hour of work.

 

"Finished?"

 

"Yes, all done," Gear replied, turning to flash a bright smile at Kanthi. Kanthi couldn't resist reaching out to fix Gear's slightly messy hair, charmed by his cuteness.

 

"Good job."

 

"Now, can you finally tell me why you came all the way here?" Gear asked, his tone firm and his eyes scrutinising.

 

"I already told you- I missed you."

 

"Is that really all?"

 

"What more do you want it to be?" Kanthi leaned closer, their faces so near that their eyes locked.

 

"...I'm just surprised, that's all," Gear muttered, avoiding his gaze and mumbling under his breath.

 

Kanthi smiled as he noticed Gear had finished his responsibilities. Now, he could focus on teasing the younger man as he'd intended. He pulled Gear up to sit beside him on the sofa, placing Gear's legs across his lap as if they weighed nothing.

 

"Actually, I do have something I want to ask."

 

"What is it?"

 

"What kind of person do you think I am?" Kanthi asked directly, genuinely curious about how the younger man perceived him. Did he seem as bad as he feared?

 

"A flirt."

 

"Hmm? Didn't even think before answering?"

 

'"Hmm.." Gear smiled, pretending to think before giving the answer Kanthi was expecting.

 

"..."

"A flirt, someone who loves fun, a playboy... but very charming."

 

"Ha, that's even worse."

 

"Not at all. I told you, you're very charming. Anyone who gets close to you is bound to fall for you."

 

"How close are we talking?" Kanthi asked, leaning in until his nose was nearly brushing against Gear's cheek. The younger man laughed and pulled back slightly, his heart fluttering from the sudden closeness.

 

"And you like to spread that charm around. You already have so much, but you keep sharing it with everyone," Gear said, his hands resting on Kanthi's chest as he voiced his thoughts.

 

Kanthi could only respond with a faint smile. He gazed into those pure, honest eyes that had never lied to him, gently guiding Gear's face to rest against his chest. His hand softly stroked the young man's hair, and they sat in an unusual silence. There's hardly anything good about me in Gear's eyes...

 

"Kanthi, are you okay? You're acting really strange today."

 

"Don't worry about it," Kanthi replied warmly. He was savouring the comforting presence of the young man in his arms.

 

Minutes passed in silence as the two remained. Kanthi held Gear close, while Gear rested his face against Kanthi's chest, accepting Kanthi's touch. It was an unusually long and quiet moment, as both seemed lost in their own thoughts.

 

"Kanthi," Gear finally spoke after some contemplation, his voice muffled as he remained nestled against Kanthi's chest.

 

"Hmm? What is it?"

 

"I'm not sure if I should tell you."

"You can tell me," Kanthi said, pulling back slightly to look at Gear's face. His instincts told him that whatever Gear was about to say wouldn't sit well with him.

 

"Kim came to see me today," Gear said softly, his voice hesitant. But for Kanthi, the mention of Gear's ex-boyfriend was enough to ignite a simmering anger within him.

 

"Why did he come?" Kanthi asked, his tone gentle, though his emotions were anything but. He shifted the atmosphere from tense to something more intimate, almost disarming.

 

His large hand, which had been resting on Gear's thigh, slid under the hem of his shorts, brushing against the smooth skin beneath. At the same time, his other hand lightly traced Gear's soft lips, interrupting the younger man just as he was about to answer.

 

"He came to... mmph..." Gear barely managed to get a word out before Kanthi leaned in and captured his lips in a tender kiss. Kanthi couldn't stand the thought of Gear being pursued by his ex. He hated that the past still lingered in Gear's mind. So, he did what he could to pull all of Gear's attention back to him. His kiss was slow and gentle, his warm breath mingling with Gear's, creating an intimate connection that left no room for distractions.

 

"Did he come to win you back?" Kanthi asked, pulling away slightly to speak.

 

"Ye-" Gear began to reply, but Kanthi didn't let him finish. He kissed him again, this time more passionately, leaving Gear no choice but to surrender. Kanthi's skilled lips moved against his, and his warm tongue explored with deliberate slowness, drawing out every ounce of sweetness from the kiss.

 

"And how do you feel about it?" Kanthi asked, his voice low and steady.

 

"Mmph..." Once again, Kanthi didn't give Gear a chance to answer. His lips claimed Gear's with even more intensity, while his hand roamed over the younger man's pale skin, igniting a fire with every touch. 

 

His fingers pressed and kneaded Gear's chest through the thin fabric of his white t-shirt, eliciting soft, muffled moans from the younger man, even as their lips remained locked. Kanthi maintained control of the moment, ensuring that Gear wouldn't dwell on the past love, not even for a second.

 

No matter how easily old flames could be reignited… Kanthi was the gas stove!