Teach me, Touch me. 

Part 17: And then, He's back.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

"Yes, I am," Gear replied firmly, though his once-bright face seemed a little dimmer today. Kanthi asked out of concern, stemming from last night's events, when the younger man beside him had been both drunk and clingy, leaving Kanthi unable to resist, their passionate night had nearly stolen the rest time of the senior student, who had morning classes today.

 

"Thanks for dropping me off."

 

"And tonight.."

 

"I can't make it tonight. I have a report to work on. I've been skipping out for days now."

 

"If you need anything, call me."

 

"Anything?" Gear echoed, not quite understanding Kanthi's meaning.

 

"If you miss me," Kanthi said outright, hoping Gear might accidentally call him out of longing, as he'd just suggested. Knowing they wouldn't meet tonight, his once-strong heart suddenly felt weak.

 

"Then... if I miss you, I'll call," Gear replied easily.

 

Hopeful...

Kanthi was truly hoping for that.

 

"Before you head to class, can I have a kiss to make up for tonight?" Gear didn't refuse, smiling at the man who acted like a guardian before receiving a deep kiss on his lips, as was their routine before parting ways.

 

The phone remained silent all day, with only a message from Kim that Gear hadn't opened. Lately, his ex had been messaging him unusually often, but Gear chose to ignore it, instead checking the time in the evening after spending the day in class.

 

"Gear, I think someone's here to see you."

 

"Wait by the car. I'll catch up soon."

 

"Just finished class?" The familiar voice asked in a pleasant tone, "You didn't come all this way just to ask me that, did you, Kim?"

 

"Did you see my messages?"

 

"I haven't touched my phone."

 

"Because you were with that guy all night?"

 

"I told you, I haven't touched my phone. It has nothing to do with anyone else," Gear ended the conversation there, walking away, though the other man followed closely.

 

"Gear, can you stop and talk to me? We didn't get a chance to talk last night when we met."

 

"Do we still have things to talk about? Do you still want to talk to me?"

 

"Gear, do you know that the guy you're involved with is a player? I go to that club often. I've seen him with different people all the time."

 

"That's none of my business."

 

"If you're going to be around him, you should know. One day, he'll replace you with someone else. You can't keep up with a guy like that. You two are too different."

 

"I already know that. I just don't understand what you want from me to bring this up."

 

"I'm worried about you."

 

"But when you left me, you weren't worried about me at all," the young man closed his eyes and exhaled softly before walking away again.

 

"Gear, don't be like this. Please talk to me."

 

"...I need to go." With that, he hurried off, only to be stopped by a familiar hand grabbing his arm, followed by words that made him freeze.

 

"Can we get back together? I'm sorry."

Both fell silent for a moment. Even amidst the bustling crowd in front of the faculty, Gear heard nothing after those words were spoken.

"Can you give me another chance, Gear?"

 

At last, the words Gear had longed to hear were finally spoken by Kim. The tall, striking figure once again drew attention at the Rose Club. Despite being a regular, his charm still turned heads. As usual, a former fling from the fifth floor approached him as if prearranged. The smaller figure tiptoed to plant a kiss on his lips as a greeting, but Kanthi turned his face, letting the kiss land on his cheek instead.

 

"Why are you here so early today? You usually don't come at this time."

 

"I finished work early, so I stopped by to chat with some friends."

 

"And lately, you really don't have any time for me?"

 

"It might sound bad, but I really don't have time for you," Kanthi smiled, using a polite excuse to decline. He was becoming a better person every day, and Gear was the reason.

 

"Are you here alone?"

 

"..." The questioned man sat in his usual spot, nodding vaguely in response to the club owner's inquiry.

 

"Where's that N' Gear you're so protective of? Or did you decide to come alone today to find someone else?"

 

"Gear's busy with a report."

 

"Oh, so you're here to find someone else to kill the time tonight?"

 

"Find who?. I'm just here to chat with you for a bit before heading back."

 

"Hmm, I saw someone clinging to your arm earlier."

 

"That's normal. Every time we meet, they greet me like that," the Playboy shrugged, unfazed.

 

"You seem like you're becoming a better person, but only just seem."

 

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Porsche?"

 

"Just kidding," Porsche smirked, leaning back on the sofa and sipping his drink leisurely.

 

"..."

"Do you know that guy?"

 

"...No," Kanthi glanced toward the bar, observing the man in question before responding to his friend.

 

"Gear's boyfriend."

 

"Just ex," Kanthi quickly corrected, despite initially claiming not to know him.

 

"Didn't you say you didn't know him?"

 

"I don't consider it knowing him. Gear just told me about him."

 

"So you and N' Gear are closer than I thought. You must know more than I do."

 

".." Kanthi frowned, reluctant to discuss the matter further.

 

"I've noticed that guy hanging around N'Gear lately. Do you think they'll get back together?" Porsche asked, scrutinising his friend. Of course, he wasn't expecting an answer.

 

"...What kind of question is that, Porsche?"

 

"A question to test you."

 

"..." Kanthi closed his eyes and sighed, admitting that his friend's question had stirred his irritation and unease.

 

"You once told me you were just having fun with Gear. Now that his ex is back, are you still having fun?"

 

"...Yeah, I admit I'm confused."

 

"Confused about what?"

 

"I don't know if I really like him or if I'm just infatuated."

 

"I can't help you with that. But one thing's for sure, you're not the same Kanthi I used to know. You've changed a lot. A friend who knows you inside out like me can tell."

 

“I think you should talk to his ex. He seems like he has something to say to you as well." 

 

Porsche suggested again. Kanthi glanced at the younger man, about a decade his junior, whose expression didn't invite conversation. Yet, his eyes spoke volumes, prompting Kanthi to rise from the sofa.

 

"Think carefully, Kanthi. But if you're just looking for fun, let N' Gear go. At least the kid loved someone before," Porsche gave his final piece of advice. Kanthi paused, listening without turning back, before walking away.

 

Kanthi chose the outdoor smoking area, a space for nicotine lovers. The dimly lit, quiet spot seemed fitting for the conversation he anticipated wouldn't be pleasant.

 

A cigarette dangled precariously from his lips as he lit it, taking a deep drag before exhaling a cloud of smoke, seemingly intending to let it bother the other man.

 

"No, thanks. Gear doesn't like the smell of cigarettes," Kim declined flatly.

 

Kanthi smirked slightly, chuckling under his breath at the audacious remark. He held the cigarette between his fingers, taking another deep drag before releasing the smoke deliberately.

 

"Really? Gear never said that when he was with me," Kanthi's tone was calm but laced with subtle provocation.

 

"..."

"In fact, he seemed to like... it, "Kanthi emphasised.

 

Kim, naturally, was displeased with Kanthi's smugness. Gear had changed in many ways because of this man, especially the cold demeanour Kim had encountered just hours earlier.

"It's a shame. Someone like you shouldn't have been able to fool a kid like Gear."

 

"Fool him how?" Kanthi immediately discarded the cigarette, turning to face his conversational partner with a sharper tone, clearly irked by the accusation.

 

"You're old enough to see how pure-hearted Gear is. I don't think it's right for you to be with one person today and kiss another tomorrow, with Gear caught in the middle,"  Kanthi said, his tone cutting yet composed.

 

“Or maybe you're the one deceiving Gear," Kanthi countered, his displeasure now etched on his face. He fixed his gaze on the other man, his eyes sharp but his demeanour steady.

 

"I don't know what Gear has told you, but right now, Gear and I are working things out. He's just upset and acting out. If you know what Gear and I used to mean to each other, then you should also know that he's with you just to get back at me."

 

"If you're mature and thoughtful enough, you should leave this to us. Someone like you, who only seeks entertainment, shouldn't come between us."

 

"Come between you? Maybe you should actually reconcile with Gear first before accusing me of something like that," Kanthi shot back, his expression darkening at the accusation.

 

"Old flames reignite quickly," Kanthi replied with a smirk.

 

"I knew Gear before you did. Let me tell you something-Gear may seem innocent, but he's not naive. He knows who's genuine and who's not. A playboy like you, who flirts with everyone, isn't someone Gear would entrust his heart to."

 

"If you're so confident in yourself, why are you so afraid of someone like me?"

 

"I'm not afraid. I just don't like seeing you use your sly ways to manipulate him."

 

"You're not much better than me."

 

"But Gear loved me before he ever met you. Does that make me better now?"

 

Kanthi's handsome face tightened as he clenched his jaw, holding back his emotions. He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, trying to release his frustration and unease, exhaling heavily in a way he never had before.

 

Kanthi spent some time alone, reflecting on his feelings and the reality that someone might take Gear away from his life.

 

"Gear and I are working things out."

"Don't come between us."

 

"If you're just looking for fun, let N' Gear go."

 

"Now that his ex is back, are you still enjoying yourself?"

 

Standing still, Kanthi felt every harsh sentence he'd heard replaying in his mind, hammering at his emotions and confusion. Every question demanded an answer, and the answer was: Let Gear go?