South; Beside the Sky. 

"What's going on?"

 

"Seventeen thousand for a box of chocolates?"

 

"Hey, that's not weird, is it? What's weird? Seventeen thousand for a box of chocolates."

 

I didn't want it to happen, but sooner or later it would. I knew they'd find out. And above all, Johan was the one who'd been waiting the longest to tease me.

 

"Strange? Seventeen thousand dollars for chocolate? Does that mean anyone can buy it for a nobody?"

 

"Hey, my friend said he doesn't like it, so he doesn't like it. Why are you trying to pressure him? He already said he doesn't like it. The seventeen thousand dollars he spent on chocolates from France was just a nice gesture," Johan said mockingly. His eyes were full of mockery as he looked at me. Johan, you...!!

 

I remembered that something like that rarely bothered me. I let out a small sigh.

 

"You're really generous, Fah."

 

Hill... you're the same.

Sigh.

 

"Is that too much for just a few chocolates?" I asked poutingly. I'd never flirted with anyone before. When I asked Thit to buy them, he said nothing.

 

"No, it's normal." Jo shrugged. "If you like it, right?"

 

"Hmmm."

 

"Really, Fah, what happened?"

 

"So you like it?"

 

"Right."

 

"Hmm, why?"

 

"How much do you like it?"

"I just like it. I don't know. I don't know how to measure how much I like it," I said softly, looking at the pile of homework in front of me. In the end, I still had to help Thit work, because he was kind. If I didn't help him, he'd study with his classmates.

 

"If I asked him how much he enjoyed it, he'd say seventeen thousand baht," Hill said, raising a slight eyebrow. "If it were Jo, I wouldn't be surprised, but since it's you, yes."

 

"I just want to buy it. It doesn't matter."

 

"Do you like it that much, Fah?"

 

"Are you interested?" I asked back. They remained silent. I raised my head. All three looked at me, slightly annoyed.

 

"Where did seventeen thousand come from?" asked Hill.

 

"From my savings. I didn't use that money to buy anything."

 

"Do you regret buying it?"

 

"NO."

 

"Do you usually buy chocolate at this price?"

 

"No." I shook my head before falling silent. "Oh... you're saying I like him enough to give him something I've never given anyone else... right?"

 

"Yes... something like that."

 

"Listen, isn't it nice if I offer him delicious food? And besides, he seems to like it."

 

"You're just like Fah," Jo said. "To the point where you put him before everyone else."

 

"Have you ever thought about what would happen if the person in the letter disappeared?"

 

"What are you asking me, Hill? My friend has been out of the news for a long time. I haven't had a letter from him in a week," Jo replied.

 

Exactly... It's been a week since he wrote to me. Usually, he came every two or three days. I don't know what happened, but it's really affecting me. I feel like something's missing. In the past, I've often thought: if he'd suddenly disappeared, what would I have done? I didn't know what to do, but now that it's happened, everything depends on his willingness to write me a letter. But at least I want to know something about him.

 

"Can you love someone you've never met?" Thit asked, who had been silent for a long time, raising an eyebrow. "You don't even know their name."

 

"I'd never thought of that," I replied. "I'm not interested in his face or his name. If it's himself, it doesn't matter in the letter."

 

"You mean the way he talks? Do you think you're compatible?"

 

"Um, yes."

 

"You don't even know his name. Why don't you ask him?"

 

I shook my head.

 

"Anyway, there's nothing definitive between you and him," Jo said, raising her hand, palm up, and looking at me. "If he disappeared, he'd just disappear, wouldn't he?"

What Jo said is true.

 

"You said he was cute. Do you think you're the only one who sees how cute he is?"

Jo's words made me stop writing for a moment.

 

"If you only write 'you're pretty,' won't the real you be surrounded by people who like you? If one day he realises that the people around him are more real than those in the letters, he'll disappear, and you won't have the right to follow him."

 

"I don't know how much he likes you, and I don't know who he is. But you, Fah, if you like him that much, will you let things stay that way between you?" Johan tried to tease me, and he succeeded.

 

"Tonfah, there's someone here." A woman's cry in the classroom made me turn around. Hearing it, I immediately stood up and left the room. When I stood up, my friends at the table exchanged glances. I must have looked very nervous. No matter, I paused for a moment when I saw the people waiting outside, and a sense of disappointment washed over me without realising it.

 

"Someone asked me to give this to you, Phi Fah."

"Ah. Yes, who asked you to give it to me?"

 

"He wouldn't let me say it, but he asked me to tell you to enjoy it."

 

"Oh. I don't think so. Please apologise for me."

 

"Ah, oh. Please accept it. My friend loves you."

 

"I just can't accept it. I'm sorry."

 

"Yes."

 

I looked away and returned to the room. I wasn't used to seeing others' disappointed looks. It was best not to look at them before I sat down again.

 

"Is that all?" Jo asked. I shook my head. "You look disappointed," the man teased me again. "It's been over a week, and not a single delivery has arrived. What should you do now?"

 

I shook my head again.

 

"You usually take what others give you, so why not take it this time? I'm hungry," Thit said, looking annoyed.

 

“I don’t think I should accept that,” I replied.

 

“Snacks are expected from only one person,” Hill said, teasing me.

 

"What if he changes his mind about you?" Arthit asked. I didn't answer, for some reason, but my instincts told me that wouldn't happen, just as I wouldn't change my mind. "There must be something urgent," Hill said softly. "Maybe not. He might feel uncomfortable."

 

"How are you?"

 

"I feel better."

 

"Good. Get plenty of rest. I brought you some fruit."

 

"Thank you."

We talked for a while before they finally asked us to leave. I was with North, Ter, Dao, and Foam, and we all left the patient's room together. As we walked down the corridor, we continued to talk.

 

"Bobby, what bad luck! Why did he have to get beaten up right before the exam?" North asked, worried.

 

Bobby was the person lying in the hospital room we'd just visited. Bobby was a friend of a friend of a friend of North's, and more importantly, he was one of the "cupids" who delivered things to Phi Fah. Bobby had been in an accident a few days earlier and was now in the hospital. The doctor only allowed visitors today, so I went to see him as soon as I heard the news, because after all, he was someone I'd disappointed.

Bobby wasn't the one who delivered things directly to Phi Fah, but one of those who offered them to others. The deliveries to North often happened via a long chain.

 

"Our Cupid isn't working. What should we do?" North asked, frustrated. "We haven't sent a letter to Phi Fah in a week."

 

"Yes, I know."

 

"Should we wait for Bobby to heal?" Ter asked. "It could take months!"

 

"I think so."

 

"We need to change our plans," Dao said. "Otherwise, our ratings might drop."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Since this is our peak season, Phi Fah seems to like Meow. If he suddenly disappeared, his points would go down."

 

"Yes, you're right," North said, nodding. "But I can't find another Cupid. Dao, do you understand the process of shipping goods? It's like a chain, and that chain is broken."

 

"So, what did you talk about last time?" Ter asked, turning around.

 

"Nothing special," I replied honestly. "But the exam is almost here. I bought a lot of snacks, but I haven't had time to give them to him yet."

 

"I wonder how Phi Fah feels. Let's test him," Foam said. "If he's nervous, isn't that a good thing?"

"I really don't want to test him," I replied, pouting slightly. "Even if he didn't get anything from me, I'd still hate not being able to take care of him. Especially since he's about to take an exam."

 

"Good," North said calmly, sipping his green tea smoothie. "We don't need to test him. Let's come up with a plan and decide what to do next."

 

"Hm. Is Phi Tonfah a curious person?" Dao suddenly asked. We all shook our heads in unison. "Then we can keep him somewhere and take turns looking for him."

 

"Oh. But where?"

 

"A place where no one can see."

 

"But where?" North asked. "People are passing by everywhere. The maids will clean the building."

 

"But wouldn't it be nice if we could? For example, Meow delivers the groceries in the morning, and Tonfah picks them up in the afternoon."

 

"What if they met by chance? Wouldn't that be too risky?" Foam raised an eyebrow and asked.

 

"No, Tonfah isn't the inquisitive type, is he? He won't know if we agree that Tonfah should leave now. Besides, if he wanted to know who it was, I think he should have known a long time ago, but he cares about the person in the letter." I nodded slightly in agreement. I'd often thought that if Phi Tonfah had wanted to know who the person in the letter was, it wouldn't have been difficult, but he decided not to investigate because he was more concerned about others. If he'd said he didn't want others to know, he certainly wouldn't have investigated.

 

"That might be okay, but wouldn't it be too complicated for Phi Fah to go get those things?"

 

“Do you care that much about Phi Fah or something?” Foam asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Yes, that's true."

 

"There must be a place around here," Dao said, then paused, as if considering. "Where in the medical school could you put something without being seen?"

We all remained silent. How are we going to make this all work?

 

"Ah. What do you think about the hospital cafeteria?"

 

"North, are you kidding? How is this going to work?"

 

"I know the owner of the bar, we can ask him to join our plan."

 

"Truly?"

 

“Well, do you have any other ideas?” North’s question made Ter pause.

 

"The bar owner is kind. He'll help us. Your stuff will be safe. If you put it somewhere else, someone might take it."

 

"Hmm, that's true," I replied, still hesitant. "Well, I can't think of anything else."

This was our only option, as we couldn't leave our things anywhere else. Leaving things elsewhere was risky: they could get lost, or someone could see them. Besides, the hospital staff cleaned meticulously every day. We headed to the hospital cafeteria that North had mentioned. At first, I was surprised to see a cafeteria in the building, but it was very busy.

 

"North, are you okay with there being so many people in the cafeteria?"

 

"Okay. With so many people coming and going, you won't arouse suspicion. Just pretend you're coming for a coffee or a chat with the owner." North introduced us to the bar's owner, Phi Gip.

 

Phi Gip was as kind as North had said; even more interestingly, he was a very good friends with North. When North began explaining his plan to Phi Gip, his eyes widened in surprise.

 

"Truly?"

 

“Yes,” I replied with a forced smile.

 

"Wow, you're really unusual, Phoon!" Phi Gip said, pinching my cheek affectionately. I rarely get pinched on the cheek, which makes me uncomfortable.

 

"You really look like a sleepy cat."

 

"A."

 

"So, you want me to hold your stuff and wait for Dr Fah to come get it, right? And if Dr Fah asks me to say something, should I hold it and wait for you to get it?"

 

"Yes. Will it bother you?"

 

"No, it's nice. Fun. I'll be the one to connect your love. And besides, he's Dr Fah, so I'll see him often. It's perfect."

 

“He’s a Phi Fah fan,” North whispered.

 

“I’m a fan of all good-looking men,” Phi Gip said, lightly pinching North’s cheek.

 

"So? Tell me a little. Do you like each other? And why did you send each other letters?"

 

"It's complicated," I replied with a wry smile. Phi Gip pursed his lips slightly, but didn't ask any further questions.

 

"Okay, I won't ask you. Just say I'll help you. Wow, that's really enviable. Nong Ter is Dr Hill's boyfriend, North is Dr Jo's boyfriend, and Phoon is also Dr Fah's boyfriend."

My heart pounded as I heard the words of the person in front of me. "Boyfriend? And Dr Arthit's future boyfriend?"

 

"I guess it's fate, so one of those people must be Dr Arthit's boyfriend," Phi Gip said jokingly, pointing to Daotok and Foam. Foam frowned, looking shocked, but Daotok seemed indifferent, as if he didn't care what Phi Gip said.

 

"It's best if Dr Fah comes in the morning, since he studies nearby, right? If he comes in the morning, no one will see him. Dr Fah usually comes to my café for coffee in the morning. That way, Phoon can come in the afternoon, sit down, and buy coffee to hide. No one will suspect anything. Who would notice something like that?"

Crazy?"

 

"Right, who would suspect anything? Like you come here every day. Lots of people from other departments come here. Phi Gip's coffee is delicious and worth coming in for every day."

 

"What do you mean, 'come to think of it'? My coffee is delicious!" Phi Gip replied, making me laugh.

"So, have you spoken to Dr Fah?" Oh, exactly. We've planned everything so well, but we haven't spoken to Phi Fah yet. Besides, we don't know if he'll agree.

 

"It's like starting all over again," Daotok said as he put down his hot coffee. We all remained in the Phi Gip cafeteria, discussing what to do next.

 

"Ugh, that's hard," North said in frustration. "How do we tell Phi Fah we're changing the way we send letters?"

 

"We only have to tell him once."

 

"Why don't we leave him here?" I asked. "Phi Gip said Phi Fah often comes by to buy coffee."

 

"Oh, yes, you're right," North said, narrowing his eyes and smiling annoyingly. "Write the letter and leave it here. Who knows if Phi Fah might come tomorrow?"

 

"So we're counting on luck to see if Phi Fah shows up?" Ter commented.

 

"This coordinates well with Phi Gip."

 

“Well, ah-hem,” I coughed after sipping my drink.

 

"Are you sick?"

 

For Fah

I'm sorry I haven't contacted you in a while. The person I was supposed to leave your things with wasn't available, so I asked Phi Gip to hold them for me. Would it be a problem if I picked them up at the coffee shop every morning? If it's a problem, fine, but I still wanted to talk to you. Exams are coming up, so take care of yourself since the weather has changed a bit. I haven't been feeling very well lately either. I asked Phi Gip to make you a hot coffee because he said you'd be by tomorrow morning. This morning seems perfect for a hot coffee, but don't order too much; one cup is enough.

 

"Did he leave anything else for me?"

 

"Nothing, but he left you some hot coffee. Here," Phi Gip said, handing me a cup of hot coffee. I smiled slightly and took it. I folded the paper and put it in my bag.

What's the reason for this warm feeling I feel in my heart right now? Oh, yes, thanks to him, because he's back :)

 

"Doctor"

 

"YES?"

 

"Do you want to look for it?"

 

“No,” I replied, shaking my head.

 

"Hmmm, good. I won't be ashamed if the doctor gets curious and presses me with questions. I'll be in trouble," Phi Gip said in a firm voice and asked me questions. "I'll be in trouble," Phi Gip said cheerfully. "But I can reveal something."

 

"Come?"

 

"He's a real boy."

 

"Hmmm."

 

"Why are you smiling like that?"

 

"Because I already know that."

 

“If you want to meet him, come and wait for him this afternoon,” Johan said, his eyes still fixed on the blank sheet of paper in front of him.

 

"I do not want."

 

"Why don't you want to know?"

 

“He doesn’t want me to know, so what do you want me to do?” I said.

 

"Shouldn't I think of his well-being first? He'll feel uncomfortable if he finds out I'm looking for him."

 

"You can ask him something about himself. You don't know anything, do you?"

 

"I've asked him that before," I said. I asked him a few questions about himself because I wanted to know more, but he didn't answer. He acted as if he didn't care about my questions. Obviously, he didn't want me to know any details about him.

 

"And he didn't answer?"

"No, that's fine. That's fine with me."

 

"Oh, whatever. What's going on? Did you buy the whole pharmacy?"

 

"NO."

 

"AS?"

 

"He's sick."

 

"Oh, I see. With all this, he'll surely make it to the afterlife."

 

"Hmm." I stared in amazement at the white medicine bag in front of me. After leaving the first letter at the bar, I was still waiting to see if Phi Fah would respond. Finally, he did, and even left me something. Good. We can talk like before.

 

“Are you sick?” Phi Gip asked me after seeing me wearing a mask.

 

"A bit."

 

"Take care of your health."

 

"Oh, thanks." I picked up the white bag in front of me. Before talking and playing with Phi Gip, I took it back to the dorm. It was quite heavy. When I opened it, I saw that it contained some medicine and a folded piece of paper.

 

For sick people.

I don't know what your symptoms are, so I bought medication for every possible

symptom. Take care of your health :)

 

I checked all my medications. There was a handwritten sheet, like an instruction manual, from Phi Fah that explained in detail when to use each medication. It was very detailed and also explained how to monitor my symptoms to know exactly what I was experiencing, without having to worry about taking the wrong medication.

I think of so many times when I felt imperfect, inadequate, and took the wrong medicine, but this time it won't be like that.

 

He even wrote a note at the end.

 

Don't worry, I asked the pharmacist which medication to buy and for more details on how to use it. Also, if your symptoms don't improve within a week, I recommend seeing a doctor. In case of emergency, call me.

 

Did Phi Fah ask the pharmacist? I had no doubt Phi Fah would buy me some medicine, but knowing it made it even more adorable. Plus, he left me his phone number. How adorable. He's so adorable. If only it weren't for the drugs. I'd take them all at once!

 

"Are you feeling better?" Ter asked. "That was quick."

 

"Yes, I'm cured. The medicine worked."

 

"What medicine?"

 

"I won't tell."

 

"Eh!"

 

"Ter, what does it mean if someone gives you their phone number?"

 

"I don't know. Maybe they want you to contact him."

 

"Why are you smiling? Did Phi Fah give you his number?"

 

"Hm." I nodded slightly.

 

"Really? Did he write that in a letter?"

 

"Hm. I told him I wasn't feeling well, and Phi Fah gave me his emergency number so I could contact him."

 

"He's good at taking care of you."

 

"Phoon, are you okay?"

 

"I don't know," I muttered in a choked voice. I couldn't tell North, or he'd tease me even more. I rested my head on my backpack on the table.

 

"I think he wanted to take care of you through letters, too," said the person next to me. I turned to look at him as he continued to lie on his backpack. "He dared to give me his number because he was sure that, no matter what happened, he would come see you."

 

"He doesn't know who you are or where you are, but if you need him, he will come to you."

For... Fah

I'm feeling much better now. Thank you so much for everything. Thank you for following the instructions; I still have plenty of medicine and will save it in case I get sick again. I hope you didn't get bored with the sandwich I made myself. I tried it this time, and I think it's edible. I hope it will be a good breakfast.

“He arrived early today, not at noon,” Phi Gip said, catching my attention.

 

"Maybe he was afraid the sandwich would spoil, so he didn't want to leave it there all night."

 

"This early in the morning?"

 

“It was probably around 7 in the morning when I opened the bar.”

 

So he had to wake up early to make sandwiches.

 

"Then please, I'll leave this to you," I said, handing the bag to the bar owner and giving him the money. "And please, buy him something he likes."

 

"Obviously."

 

"What would you like to drink?"

 

"Me? A herbal tea, I think."

 

"OK."

 

"Why?"

 

"Dr Fah told me to buy you something you like."

 

"Oh." I sat at the counter until they brought me a glass of herbal tea.

"Doctor, don't you know what you like?" asked Phi Gip. I shook my head in response.

 

"Poor thing. Even if you know everything about Dr Fah, Dr Fah knows nothing."

 

"Because I never tell him." Because I rarely tell him in a letter what I like or dislike.

 

"That's why I said mercy. It also seems like I want to hear your opinion."

 

"Oh, really?"

 

"I don't know why you don't want Dr Fah to know it's you, but a relationship where one person knows everything but the other knows nothing, where one person knows everything but the other knows nothing, is sad. It requires a lot of trust."

 

"You know, but Dr Fah doesn't. Even if he likes you so much, how would he feel knowing he doesn't know anything about you?"

 

"All right."

 

"I'm sorry, I was just talking nonsense. If it was too much, I apologise."

 

"No, that's fine."

 

I smiled and shook my head slightly before returning to the bedroom. What Phi Gip said is true. If I like someone but don't know anything about them, I feel very confused. I don't know when they'll disappear. I'm sure I'll never disappear. But what about Phi Fah? Phi Fah doesn't know anything. Phi Fah asked me a few questions once, but I didn't answer. After that, Phi Fah never asked me again. But thinking about it, my heart fills. I think Fah might already like me. But now I think about it more. I've been worried for a long time since it ended like this.

 

What Phi Gip said was true. Phi Fah knew nothing about the person in the letter. The person could disappear at any time, and there's no information. Phi Fah couldn't contact him unless the person contacted her first. Isn't that a volatile relationship for Phi Fah?

 

Suddenly, while I was thinking, my phone rang. I was shocked and quickly pulled out my phone to see that it was an unknown number. I hesitated to answer.

 

"YES."

[Typhoon?]

"Who is this?"

[Are you Phi Rit's son?]

 

"Ah, yes, that's true."

[I'm Phi Rit's new wife. Do you have time to talk? I'd love to meet you.]