South; Beside the Sky. 

I sat down and looked at the bag of snacks on the table. They sent it back to me today. I don't like eating snacks, but I often have to accept them because I'm afraid of hurting the person who gave them to me. I eat a little, and if I don't like them, I don't. But I don't know who sent them to me. It's been a month now. They were given to me by a second-year medical student whose face is somewhat familiar, but not entirely.

 

"Here again?" Arthit asked, still staring at his phone screen.

 

"Hmm."

 

"He's diligent, huh?"

 

"YES."

 

"If it were me, I would have given up."

 

"Oh, yeah." I shrugged, oblivious to the unusual handwriting. But I'm sure it's the same person who wrote to me during break, saying, "I like you." At the time, I thought he was a freshman, but at the beginning of the semester, he sent me a letter without a word of respect. Strange. Maybe he'd written it poorly. He must have been a sophomore. When I first read the letter, I thought it was funny. Many people had written me letters, but no one had ever said they liked me, so I thought it was funny. That's all.

 

"Oh, Fah."

 

"What?" I saw Hill calling my name.

 

"I already told Phoon."

 

"What?"

 

"Don't forget to say thank you."

 

"Did he avoid you?"

 

"Hmmm." I nodded. I thought Hill would say that. It was Hill who had been pushing me to talk to Phoon all this time. "Okay. It's just about buying him some food."

 

"Why would you buy him food?" asked Johan, lying on the bench.

"He's not your brother."

"When?"

 

"Yes, why?" I raised my eyebrows and asked curiously. Jo stood up and sat down again.

 

"Nothing." The person in front of me shrugged slightly. "Why do you care now? A year has passed, and nothing's happened."

 

"I said I hate being ignored."

 

"So he's not ignoring you anymore?"

 

"We just talked a little."

 

"I already know, it's around the time North and Ter came to Phoon's room that day," Johan said, turning to Hill. "They insist on leaving. I think it's something important."

 

"Hmmm." Hill nodded. "What do you think it is?"

 

"Of course it's because of Fah. And there's a letter with a snack Thit ate. The words on the letter are similar to what North would say. North suggested it. I don't know who Nong, aka Daotok, is, but he's the one who came up with the plan. North and Ter probably never would have thought of such a plan. But maybe there are other people..."

 

"I know it's Phoon."

 

"How can you be sure?" I asked Hill. "There's no evidence."

 

"But isn't there a great possibility?" Hill asked indifferently. "Let me ask you again: do you like Nong?"

 

"I don't like Phoon like that."

 

“Keep denying it, dammit,” Jo sighed.

 

"Do you still consider him Nong?"

 

"Hmm."

 

I know Typhoon loves me. No, what he showed was much more than that. But he tried to hide it from me. He has a wall blocking him. His eyes were filled with pain. It made me think he'd been through something terrible and that I was trying to make amends. For those four years, I felt it was my fault for leaving him and not contacting him again. Typhoon is an important Nong, whom I must take care of.

 

But suddenly, he's transformed into a different person. I know he's not Typhoon, both in his actions and his movements. At first, I didn't understand anything, but I kept trying to adapt. The last time we spoke, he was in my room, but when I woke up and saw the entire room empty, there was no sign of him. And he disappeared completely.

 

I chose to respect his decision, whatever it was. Since Phoon had already decided it was the best choice, I stopped pursuing him for a while to take care of his feelings.

And then. I heard about Thorfan. I recently heard that Thorfan died. So why did Phoon lie? And about Thorfan from LINE, I was shocked at first, but I didn't think much about it. Why would Phoon do something like this?

 

To be honest, I'm angry. Furious. But there must be a reason, and Typhoon is a boy who needs help. When I saw Nong, who looked happier, I immediately understood that he had become stronger and that, no matter what happened, he could survive the rain. I mean, he's perfect. He sees me as his heaven. I'm just like him. He wants me to be everything, but I can't be his. To him, Thorfan was everything in his life, and when she left, he couldn't survive. And what will happen if I disappear?

 

Likewise, there are no warning signs when someone has an accident. Maybe when I was crossing the street and got hit by a car, I just died. So, I don't want to be everything to anyone. I hope he loves himself more than before. When we were together, I tried to show Phoon his good side and often praised him. But the truth is, he's always been very kind, and now I see that well. I'm glad Phoon has become stronger without me.

 

That evening, while everyone was celebrating, I decided to go to the store because I thought we should talk. But once I got there, his expression revealed that he wasn't ready to talk and that he was ready to disappear again, so I wouldn't come near him again.

 

"Phoon's funny, huh?" Johan asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

"Funny, but you know, we've been together since childhood." For me, Phoon is more memorable than the others, but we're still just brothers. We haven't seen each other in a long time.

"So you have to explain, right?" Hill said seriously. "That's why I told you to be careful."

 

"Be careful? How?"

 

"Fah's the type who cares about everyone, right, Hill?" Johan said. "People who like something don't change and continue to like it, but if Fah doesn't like it, it doesn't mean it's wrong. But Fah, if you like Phoon and don't know it, I'll piss you off, you idiot!"

 

"Hmm," I said, laughing a little at Jo's words. "I like it, okay? But I don't see Phoon in that state right now."

 

"Then we won't interfere," Johan said. "It's unfair to you if we choose Phoon's side because we're her friends' boyfriends. We won't stand in your way even if you're dating someone else."

 

"Won't they get mad?" I turned to ask Hill. He sighed slightly and shook his head in response. "I'm glad they understand."

 

"But don't underestimate Phoon just because he's your Nong and flirts with you like this," Jo said, picking up a bag of snacks to see. "Oh, today's grape juice."

 

I shook my head slightly, hearing Jo's words. Hill and Jo thought the person who had sent the letter was Phoon. We all think the same, but we're not sure because there's no proof, and anything can happen. He handed me back the lunch bag, and I opened it to read the letter.

 

It's a little hot today. This grape juice will cool you down. I don't know if you've had rice before, so I bought some sausages to fill your stomachs.

P.S. I hope today's workshop goes smoothly.

 

Although I'm not sure who this person is, the items he sends are rarely the same. He always has to buy everything at 7-Eleven, but he's very attentive. On hot days, he buys me juice. On cold days, he buys me milk. On days when I drink warm milk, he also brings me different snacks. He also knows what I'm learning each day. During the midterm exam, he sent me a lot of extra material in a very large bag. Every snack he sent me is suitable for eating while studying for the exams. One thing I know is that he's very attentive to me. Something no one else has ever done to me before. But I've never spoken to him before.

 

"Are you not familiar with his handwriting?" asked Johan, raising his eyebrows.

 

"No, this isn't Phoon's handwriting. It's just a letter. Anyone can write whatever they want," I thought, just as he was thinking. "You seem more interested."

 

"Isn't that possible?" asked Hill.

 

"Not exactly."

 

"But don't you care a little, judging by how you eat everything he gives you?"

 

"It's funny,"

 

"Who is it?" asks Johan.

 

"Yeah, whoever it is. It's fun."

 

For some reason, he doesn't want me to know his true identity. I shouldn't tell him because he doesn't want me to see it. I always respect other people's decisions.

 

“Eh Fah, you said you don't like Phoon,” Hill repeated.

 

"Hmm."

 

"But are you starting to like the person who sent the letter?"

 

"It seems like I'm starting to get interested."

 

"What if the sender was Phoon?"

 

"So... Maybe I like Phoon."

 

"Didn't you say you didn't like it?"

 

"Yes, that's true. It's true that I always see Phoon as Nong. I've never seen him any other way. But if he's the person in this letter, it might be a different side of him that I've never seen before."

 

"So... why don't you try talking to him? Write him a letter back," Hill said.

 

"I think it's best to leave it for now. I'm not interested enough right now." I said with a slight smile. Yes. I am interested right now. I need to keep watching it for a while.

 

"Why don't you find out why your Nong is far away from you?"

 

"Hmm? Why do I have to find out? Isn't it clear he doesn't want to get close to me?"

 

"Do you think it'll interfere a bit?" he asked Arthit. I immediately turned to look at him.

 

"No, I'm not that kind of person." I smiled at the medical student who had handed me a small bag of notes. I took it from him, then handed him another and said, "Please give this to the person who sent it to me."

 

"Oh, okay." He nodded and left. His face is very familiar to me, but no matter how often we meet, I always forget to ask his name. It's not hard to guess, but I don't need to, and that's fine.

 

"Fah. Why are you smiling like that?"

 

"Well, even chocolate milk and tuna sandwiches can make someone smile. Even though I've never seen their face, and I don't even know their name. But it's funny.

Whoever he is."

 

"Ter, this is important. It looks like our friend went to the moon!"

 

"Calm down, North, we just have to give them time."

 

"North... Ter." I turned to look at them and pressed my lips together. In my hand, I still held a bag full of the items I'd just received. I placed it on the table and stared at that beautiful piece of paper with the message written on it for a long time.

 

“We gave you an hour to get rid of your embarrassment, Phoon,” Foam sighed.

 

"You're going to explode." He grabbed me and pinched my cheek hard. I pouted because it hurt.

"I feel it. My face feels like it's getting bigger."

 

“What do you mean by bigger?” Ter raised his eyebrows and asked.

 

"I don't know, I feel bloated, my whole body is swollen. My face and heart are swollen, and my body is swollen too."

 

"You're just blushing, and your face isn't getting any bigger."

 

"But I think my face is getting bigger."

 

"Okay, whatever, meow." Ter smiled and laughed. Since North gave me the bag Phi Fah had given me, I've been blushing for almost an hour, and my heart is still pounding.

 

"It's worth it." I smiled broadly. "A truly precious two months."

 

"Exactly, that must be the most delicious sandwich."

 

"Yes." I turned to Ter and nodded, still smiling.

 

"The most delicious sandwich in the world."

 

"Congratulations," Foam said. "It's like cheering on your friend who appreciates the high school seniors. You did better, didn't you?"

 

"Yes... If I may say so."

 

I'm one step ahead...

 

"But I didn't expect anything. Being in a position where I could always watch over and take care of him, and knowing that Phi Fah had eaten all the snacks I'd bought him, I was already happy. I never would have thought of it."

 

"He must be interested," Foam repeated. I turned and looked at him. "I mean... he must be interested, because you've been sending him things for two months. He knows you have a good heart."

 

"Then that's fine."

 

All right.

"If Phi Fah is interested because I sent him letters, that's a good thing because the person who can take care of him is the one in the letter. Even if I can't even speak to Phi Fah directly."

 

I smiled more and more, regardless of whether others thought I was crazy or not. But it's true happiness. I can't describe how happy I am right now. My feelings have reached him, and he has accepted them. I never dared express how much I loved him when I was with Phi Fah. I should have made the right decision and followed North's advice, showing him how much I love him and that I'm ready to take care of him. I wouldn't have had the chance to do that without those documents.

 

"Phoon, can I ask you something?"

 

"What is it?"

 

“If you don’t have to follow your father’s instructions, will you try to approach Phi Fah?” Ter’s question surprised me, and he raised his eyebrows before nodding.

 

"Sure, I think I can take care of Phi Fah better than that,"

 

"I replied. "Not just by letters, not just by caring for him from afar, but by caring for him completely. If North's words were correct, this would be a direct attack."

 

"That's okay, because I think Phi Fah will like you because you care about him."

 

"B... come?"

 

"Think about it. He's never seen your face, he didn't know it was you, but he showed interest in you because you were always buying him things and saying you liked him and cared about him, right? But if those letters aren't there and you keep it up with him, don't you think Phi Fah will be interested in you? Don't you think he'll like you?"

 

"Do you think he'll like it too?"

 

"Ter, stop. Phoon will explode and die."

 

"Phoon, calm down."

 

"Ter, I think I'm nearsighted now." I grabbed Ter's hand. My heart was pounding so hard at that moment.

 

"Do you think Phi Fah will like me?"

 

"Your hands are so wet, buddy." Ter gave me a sneer. "Yeah, I'm talking about your Phi Tonfah; the proof is here."

"At first I thought you were going to buy everything at 7-Eleven."

 

"He's very diligent." Ter sighed softly. "But seriously, from what I know of Phi Fah, I've never seen anyone who does as much for him as you do. No matter what happens, he cares about you."

 

"Are you impartial?"

 

"A bit."

 

"Ter, tu."

 

"Come on, you're my friend, so I support you, who else?" Ter's words made me frown before he burst out laughing, and I laughed too. "You're like North, brilliant at praising his friends. Did he do anything behind the scenes for Phi Fah?"

 

“Very dedicated,” I said, still laughing.

 

"You seem so fast today, Phoon," Easter said. "As if something were floating around you."

 

"I think so." I cried because I was happy. After all, he was smiling, and my heart was beating so hard for him. Every letter is my true self. Every letter is Phoon. Every word and every attention, I write with my feelings. Feelings I can't express directly to Phi Fah. I've never dared to cross the boundaries of our Phi-Nong relationship before. But now I dare. I hope he will, too. Yes. I promise I'll be strong enough to return to his side one day. And today. I'm strong enough to be by his side. I'm not a weak Phoon, dependent only on Phi Fah. I will be a Typhoon who can protect Phi Fah.

 

"I believe we can love others much more when we love ourselves enough." The words North said to me that day have been reverberating in my head for a long time. What North said is true. How can a person who hates themselves love others?

 

"What are you thinking?"

 

"How did you meet North, Ter?"

"I kicked the ground, and he appeared immediately. Why?"

 

"Damn, seriously... it radiates such positive energy. Why don't we make a copy and get a lot of North?" I said jokingly. "Oh, that seems impossible. Phi Jo will take it all."

 

"That's true. Besides, I think one North is enough for me. Can you imagine if there were more than one with that much power? This country could collapse."

 

"I want to be a positive energy for Phi Fah, even if I'm not as strong as North."

 

"You don't have to be strong. What did we say?"

 

"Just be yourself."

 

"That's right... don't try to be like North."

 

"I said it was my job. Don't you believe me?" North asked seriously. We're staying in my room now for the holidays. "Did you eat the snack Phi Fah gave you?"

 

"I finished."

 

"Oh, I thought you wanted to keep it."

 

"I am hungry."

 

"Damn you!"

 

"I'm kidding. Phi Fah said I had to finish it, so it's really late," I replied. It's a truly delicious tuna sandwich with chocolate milk. I also have a handwritten letter from Phi Fah.

 

"It's good if the plan works. I'm very worried," Dao said. Dao has been upset lately, so he was happy when we told him Phi Fah had responded.

 

"You don't have to worry anymore. Who was Cupid?"

 

"Now is the time to give it your all."

 

“Why do I have to be handsome and talented?” North asked.

 

“Damn, I want to be ugly.” He added.

 

"I think that's enough of your nonsense," Ter replied immediately, making us all laugh out loud.

 

"What's wrong, North? Why are you so excited today?"

"Hehe, today's my day off! I finally get to free myself from that asshole."

 

“Why?” I asked.

 

"He came to campus and hasn't bothered me all day. Every day, I feel like someone is draining my energy. In a few minutes, I'll start dancing the barongsai."

 

"Stupid," I said, still laughing. "Don't say it bothers you."

 

"Are you on his side? You're a traitor. I'll stop being your messenger. You can go into hiding."

 

"No, don't tell me to hide."

 

"Hey. Don't let me hear that word again. No one can hide."

 

"Let's get back to the next cat card." Finally, Daotok helped bring the conversation back to the original topic. Nord also steered me off topic. "What do you think?"

 

“We know he’s interested,” Foam said.

 

“Yes, I think he’s starting to get interested,” Ter said.

 

"I think so too. What do you think, North?"

 

"I don't know. Maybe she prepared a dowry," North said indifferently. "Have you chosen your wedding dress? I've been making a dress and preparing for the event since the day Phi Fah sent you a letter."

 

“Wow, you’re in such a hurry, idiot,” Ter said, shaking his head slightly at North.

 

"I'm wearing a black dress. I hope your wedding doesn't deviate from the theme of my dress."

 

“Do I need to try harder now?” I raised my eyebrows and asked.

 

"Yes, because I am the one who gave this great task, do not embarrass me by ruining everything that has been achieved."

 

Ugh. "You think too much about the future."

 

"Come on, you need to think about the future. Fight a little, my friend. You've secretly loved him for years, show your strength!"

 

North is very excited. Why does being away from his boyfriend make him so dominant?

 

"Hey, I told you not to give up. You've barely sent letters for two months, and you've already received the results. I've been buying lottery tickets for ten years, and I've only won twice. Yet, I never gave up, even though I lost again yesterday and Phi Jo made fun of me. Oh, look. I'll win, so Phi Jo won't be able to make fun of me anymore!" So why does he seem so annoyed that Phi Jo made fun of him?

 

"You two are hilarious," I said. I could see they were very funny together. "Is that you, North? Why do you seem like two different people when you're with us and when you're with Phi Jo?"

 

"It's not appropriate for me to behave like this when I'm with him, when I'm with you guys."

 

"Can we get back to the letter?" Daotok urged. Oh God, North changed the subject again. "Let's continue."

 

"Yes, go on."

 

"Cat, do it." I grabbed a pillow from the bed and hit North. North raised his hands and shouted, "Okay, let's get back to our perspective!" Daotok looked at me. I nodded slightly. Dao must have asked permission to speak.

 

The plan to send letters continuously for these two months worked. Phi Fah has started to show interest in the person who sent the letter, but we still don't know if Phi Fah knew he was a meow. The probability that the doctors know is very high. We estimate that Phi Fah knows more than 40%. One thing we are certain of from the initial plan: Meow's father won't know. There was no way his father would know. It's just a letter, right? But we don't know if Phi Fah will know, because he is very close.

 

"But the point is this: if Phi Fah can guess that it's a meow, why did he return the letter? That means Phi Fah doesn't care who it is."

 

The four of us sat like students, listening to the teacher lecture. North frowned. He had a serious expression and seemed uncomfortable, as if he weren't used to serious things.

"Phi Fah cares about the person who sent the letter."

 

"So, Phi Fah might have liked Phoon before?" Foam asked.

 

"Absolutely not," I said, shaking my head slightly at Foam. "I know."

 

"Convinced?" asked Ter.

 

"Um, I understand that to him I've always been just a Nong. He doesn't like me romantically. I know he's never taken a stand. Even though it may hurt to say it so firmly, it's still true. Anyone who doesn't love me doesn't really love me."

 

"I feel sorry for you, Phoon." Foam looked worried, looking at me. "Or should I say... Should you back out? What if Fah doesn't like you at all?"

 

"This is the past," North said. "Live for the present and the future, Phoon."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Are you still crying about the past?"

 

"No more."

 

"Are you happy with this moment?"

 

"Yes, a lot."

 

"Would you like to send something to Fah?"

 

"YES."

"That's the most important thing. It doesn't matter whether Fah likes you or not. The important thing is that you love Fah, and no one can replace him. Phi Jo once told me that if he likes me, but I already have a girlfriend, he'll get drunk every day for years. It hurts a lot, I know. But in the end, I can't live without Phi Jo either."

 

"With all this love for him, you have to let Phi Fah know. How could Phi Fah not love you if he knew how much you loved him? If he doesn't, it means he's no longer human."

 

“One day Phi Fah might like you, but if you wait for Phi Fah to seduce you, I think that’s a shame,” Foam said.

"Foam!" North turned and called out to Foam, surprising Foam. "The well can't reach the cat!"

 

"Shouldn't the well reach the buffalo?" Foam raised his eyebrows and asked.

 

"But Phoon is a cat, so if Phi Fah doesn't like Phoon, he'll try to get close to him because he likes him, so it's natural that he'll seduce him, right? Phoon has come this far, so don't break his resolve."

 

"Oh... Sorry. I should have known you'd try so hard." Foam snorted and turned to me. I shook my head slightly, as if nothing had happened. "Right. North, a person who likes someone, should seduce them.

 

"You're powerful, Phoon. Look at you. Are you going to give up just because Phi Fah doesn't like you?"

 

"Of course not." I smiled back at North, making him smile as broadly as I did. "I'll make sure he sees me, too. There's only one Phoon, and I'm only there for him."

 

"Yes, that's how it should be. It's not in vain that I taught you. If Phi Fah likes you, he'll let you know. When he's interested, he'll send you a reply letter. Understand?"

 

"Wow, thank you, master."

 

"Oh, buy me some chocolate milk, you idiot. I want to drink it too."

 

"Okay, I'll buy three packs."

 

"Hey, looks like my friend is rich. Does Phi Fah know that my rich friend is willing to feed him chocolate milk for life and throw money in his face?"

 

We laughed at North's cheerful words and gestures. No matter what time, I always thank North. I'm happy to have him here. As for Phi Fah, you'll see how much love I have for you!

 

Get ready!!!