South; Beside the Sky. 

Chapter 9. Eternal Rain (Part 1/2)

I sat down and smiled at the photo on the table. It was a photo of my family when I was six. I usually keep this photo in a drawer. I don't know why. For some reason, every time I see it, I feel uneasy. A strange feeling came to my chest when I saw my dad and mom smile. Fan and I were wearing matching outfits and holding hands. We smiled broadly at the camera.

Could this family be any warmer? If I were their daughter, this thought would never have crossed my mind. But not everything is terrible. We used to eat, spend time together, talk, be father and mother, daughter, son, brother, and family. Half of them were family.

It's been over a week since I scheduled an appointment with Phi Fah. I asked, "Do I need to make a contract?" Phi Fah said he gave every child he led a contract like this. Many prefer to leave before it's over because they feel discouraged and don't want to continue leading, something Phi Fah didn't want to happen. It's no surprise. Phi Fah is still Phi Fah.

Nothing has changed between us. What I like is that this relationship has remained the same, like that between brothers. We'd chat every now and then and go to the bar together. In the evenings, we'd call each other and study together. But I don't call him every night because Phi Fah has different students. It's a little painful, but that's okay. Nothing hurts more than saying goodbye. It's like counting the days until we're alone. I'm starting to hate him.

When I looked up, I saw only dark clouds. I like that word. They say the sky after the rain is always beautiful. But I'm scared. I'm so scared that my rain will never stop falling.

"It's a shame there's no sun today," I said to the plants I'd planted before moving the pot into the shade. When it rains, the water drops fall on some plants that need water, but others get too much and rot and die.

I have tons of plants on my balcony; they fill almost the entire room. Phi Fah took me shopping for a bunch of things. I also bought a little camera stand. Phi Fah said he'd give me a camera on a special occasion. If there was. I want one, I really like that it exists. Ah, finally, the rain has started to let up.

I was on the balcony, oblivious to the few drops of rain that touched me. No matter how cold it was, I didn't want to leave; I wanted to look at the sky that kept crying like that. Since it's raining, I have to take a picture too. I quickly grabbed my camera and snapped a photo when I realised it. Too bad my sky isn't as bright today, but it cried for me. I have almost no tears left. My phone vibrates, signalling that someone has sent a message.

Tonfah: I didn't send the sky today.

Tonfah: Send a photo

Tonfah: The weather is terrible today.

Tonfah: Don't go out when it rains.

This message alone is enough to make me smile easily. Someone who looks at the sky with me. Will he look at the sky more often? Does he realise that the sky changes every day? Or will he send it to me? And does he know that the sky is precious to someone?

Typhoon: Send photos

Typhoon: Yes, even Phi doesn't come out when it rains.

Tonfah: Too late.

Tonfah: It's already raining.

Tonfah: Send a photo

It's a photo of a road soaked by heavy rain. A motorcycle is parked next to it. When Phi Fah said it was raining, he meant he was out riding his motorcycle. So, he's stuck in the rain? Now it's pouring.

Typhoon: Too bad :(

Typhoon: Be careful, you may get sick later.

Tonfah: Okay.

Tonfah: So, are you in the room?

Typhoon: Yes.

Typhoon: I'm not going anywhere today, I'm afraid of getting caught in the rain.

Tonfah: So that means Phi made a mistake.

Tonfah: I should be in the room, right?

Typhoon: So, where are you stuck?

Tonfah: Send a photo

Tonfah: Actually, not too far from you.

I frowned at the photo Phi Fah sent me. I'm trying to remember where that place is. Because Phi Fah said it's not far from my dorm. I want to meet him. At least give him some clothes or a towel; he might have caught a cold.

Typhon: Wait for me there.

Tonfah: What?

Tonfah: Are you coming?

Tonfah: No need. What will you do if I get lost?

Typhoon: I won't get lost.

Typhoon: I know where you are.

Typhoon: Send Stickers

Tonfah: Don't do it.

Tonfah: If you come, Phi will be angry.

I pressed the lock screen, ignoring Phi Fah's message. I didn't want him to get mad. But I want to meet him. Phi Fah often looks for me when he's caught in the rain, right? I also want to meet him and do something for him before the opportunity slips away. I quickly grabbed a towel I'd never used before, a loose-fitting T-shirt, and an umbrella, and ran out of the dorm. I don't know how much this will help, but at least Phi Fah has a friend stuck in the rain.

What a shame, Phoon!!!

No, I'm not negligent at all.

But where should I go?

I felt confused in the pouring rain. The umbrella I'd brought didn't do much to protect me from the rain, which soaked me through. Why am I so stupid? Phi Fah has been waiting for almost fifteen minutes. What annoys me even more is that I forgot to bring my phone. At first, I thought I'd put it in my pants pocket. I must have put it somewhere and forgotten to take it out.

While I was still confused, suddenly a hand clapped me on the shoulder and pushed me back. I was surprised and immediately looked up to see who was ahead of me. With a helmet like that, who knows? The person in front of me opened his helmet. It was Phi Fah, with the same expression. Was he angry? He looked at me. I saw he was soaked.

"Phoon."

"Yes?"

"What did Phi say earlier?"

"Mmm."

Phi Fah immediately brought me to the point, “I said I’d be mad if you left.”

"...Ah, yes."

"Then why did you go out? I called you, and you didn't answer."

"I'm lost. And I forgot to bring my phone, ha!" I was surprised when Phi Fah suddenly grabbed my wrist and dragged me away. It hurt. Phi Fah looked really angry. I was holding my umbrella in one hand and clutching my towel and clothes in my arm. He pulled my other hand. I couldn't see clearly because the curtain of rain in front of me blocked my view. As I got closer, I saw a large black motorcycle parked. Phi Fah let go of my hand and immediately got on the bike.

"Come up right away."

"Yes... Yes." I quickly closed the umbrella in my hand and climbed onto the motorcycle. This bike was very large. I had never ridden a motorcycle that big before, when the person in front of me started the engine and took off at full speed, so fast I had to hug him around the waist. Because of the pouring rain and strong wind, I had to take shelter behind Phi Fah's back. I hoped the towel I'd brought wouldn't get wet.

Shortly afterwards, the motorcycle stopped in a sheltered spot from the rain. Phi Fah immediately led me to a shady spot. He took off his helmet, revealing his loose, wet hair. Phi Fah slowly dried his hair after it had gotten wet. Ah... Just now... It was as if something had stopped beating for a moment in my chest.

"You're not too wet, are you?" Phi Fah asked in a concerned tone, his expression less angry than before.

"Yes, this is a towel for you." I immediately handed it to him. Phi Fah took it and began drying my hair. I paused, letting him dry it, trying to suppress the emotions I was feeling, but it didn't seem to work. My heart started pounding again because of that man. When he stopped, and I looked at him... It was so scary. I immediately lowered my head.

"Why don't you listen?"

"Phi said he'd be angry, right?"

"Yes... Phoon apologises." He frowned and looked worried. An uneasy feeling filled my chest. I'd originally intended to bring a towel and clothes for Phi Fah, but I got lost, and he had to look for me. Plus, he was now wetter than before.

"Okay, no problem." Phi Fah sighed softly, then leaned against the wall,

"It's raining so hard that even if you bring an umbrella, you'll still get wet. Why are you just standing there?"

"I don't know where to go."

My words raised Phi Fah's eyebrows. Then he didn't seem surprised at all.

"Yes, I already know that."

"I'm sorry to bother you."

"It's okay," Phi Fah said. I moved closer and leaned against the wall beside him. Phi Fah reached out and gently stroked my head. "If you'd been in the room from the beginning, you wouldn't have gotten wet."

Oh, that's bad. Touching my head like that. It's not nice. I slowly backed away a little. Phi Fah seemed surprised by my gesture before lowering his hand.

"Phi Fah, do you want to dry off first?" I said, handing him another towel, but Phi Fah shook his head. "Then put on this shirt... Can you change? You're so wet, if you keep wearing them, you'll definitely get sick."

"Huh? What clothes?"

"You can wear this," I said, holding up the very loose-fitting T-shirt I'd brought. I was sure Phi Fah could wear it.

"Do you want me to change here?"

"Um... there's no one here."

"No, that's not the problem," Phi Fah said weakly. "Okay, let me put this shirt on first."

He took the T-shirt, then took off the wet one. He dried himself a bit with a small towel before putting on the T-shirt I'd given him. However, I turned away so as not to look and could only see out of the corner of my eye. No, don't look... Don't look at all.

“Thank you,” said Phi Fah.

"Yes."

No problem. I'm happy to be of assistance, even if it means causing you more trouble than before.

"So, you and Phi will get caught in the rain too."

"Well, I think so." Because an umbrella probably wouldn't have helped much. It was raining too hard. And there was a strong wind. But... I'm willing to get caught in the rain as a friend.

"Hi Fah."

"Yes."

"It's okay." I felt like I had something to say to Phi Fah. I called him that often. But in the end, I didn't know what to say. "Why did you come to this area?"

"I have some business to take care of."

"I just found out that Phi Fah rides a motorcycle too."

"Is that weird?"

"No," I said, because Phi Fah was more into driving a car, but riding a big motorcycle like this was still cool. "I've just never ridden a big motorcycle before."

"Is it scary?"

"No." I shook my head. Even though it was raining, I was on Phi Fah's motorcycle. I wasn't afraid at all. "This heavy rain is terrible."

"A bit."

"But Phi Fah's friend often rides in the rain." That day, his friend also rode a big motorcycle in the rain.

"I don't really like riding my motorcycle during the rainy season. Today it rains even more."

"Oh." I nodded slowly, indicating that I understood.

There was only silence between us, no conversation over the sound of the rain. The drops continued to fall, and we remained side by side, saying nothing. I didn't know whether to say something or remain silent like that.

"Hi Fah."

"Yes."

"If the rain never stops, what will happen?"

"This area will be flooded."

"Yes," I said, ready to chuckle. "If there's a place where it rains all the time, will the people who live there ever see clear skies?"

"Why do you have to look at the clear sky?"

"Some people should just learn to be happy in the rain."

"Right." Phi Fah's words left me speechless. Learning to be happy in the rain.

I have to study. Learn to be happy. Under the rain that could fall forever.

"Learn happily."

I never thought I'd be able to smile during this painful downpour, but as Phi Fah said, sometimes we have to learn to live with it when we can't avoid it. I can't ask the rain to stop. I always hope for clear skies, but they never do. In reality, I can't help it. Still, I have to live with it.

"Phoon."

"Yes." I turned to the person next to me, who called my name. "You're smiling, you know?"

"Oh... really? Did I smile involuntarily?"

"Yes," Phi Fah replied, smiling. "So you noticed, right?"

"What?"

"I think you really like to smile."

"Oh, thank you," I said, lowering my head slightly, letting my heart begin to beat faster. I couldn't help but smile. "I'll smile more often."

"Good." Since I had my head down, I couldn't see his face, but his deep voice warmed me as usual. This rain won't be so bad. At least we were together.

We waited for the rain to ease. Phi Fah walked me to the dorm. We said our goodbyes briefly before he left. That evening, as I walked back to my room, we spoke on Line to study together. It was like my daily routine. Phi Fah said goodnight to me, and I said goodnight to him, too. It could have been a casual word. I don't know if Phi Fah wanted to wish me a sweet dream or just a word. But it was very important to me, like a blessing before bed, and I also pray that Phi Fah has a sweet dream every night.

I wrote a letter to Fan as usual. I don't know when my letters started to contain more drawings. I'm not very good at drawing, just good enough for simple drawings. I drew Phi Fah and me like little cartoon characters, dodging the rain together. I decorated it with the special ink I use for writing on books. My letters are no longer decorated with tear stains, but with drawings. Even though I'm not good at drawing, it's better than crying, right?

I wish I could dream this dream every night, but it's impossible. After all, it's a dream I can't control. Like a reminder that I can't dream, Fan can't really be with me. And I can't enter my dream. I can only pray... I hope I can see you. This has become my bedtime prayer.

I got up and turned off the lights in the room, leaving only the small lamp beside the bed on. My fear of dark places hadn't completely disappeared. But it wasn't that bad. I was getting used to it. I went back to bed and lay down.

Today is a beautiful day. Thank you... I hope you'll smile again tomorrow, like you did today... Phoon.