Chapter 39. Beautiful eyes
"I'm serious."
"I know"
I looked at the person next to me, who was trying to hide his blush, but couldn't because he was red all the way to his ears. I couldn't help but smile fondly. Why are you so shy? I looked in the mirror and saw Hill and Ter sitting in the back seat.
In fact, after dropping off our partners, we didn't go anywhere. We dropped our things off at the hotel and rested after finishing our midterms. Fatigue and stress had been building up for a while, leaving us exhausted. Phoon had actually told me I should rest first, but if we didn't hurry, we wouldn't have time. We couldn't wait until the end of the semester.
Usually, after finishing an exam like this, I sleep like a log, but this time I couldn't, perhaps because I don't have any cats to cuddle. Hugging Phoon while I sleep has become a necessity; otherwise, no matter how tired I am, I can't sleep, even though I'm usually a light sleeper. On stressful days, no matter how serious the problem, when I come home and hug Phoon tightly, I can smell his scent and feel less tired.
"How?" I asked.
"All right, very good. I'll tell you more when we get there." Phoon turned and smiled happily at me. I'd thought everything must be fine when I saw Phoon smiling so happily, and I thought it was worth bringing him here.
"Okay, I'll wait and listen," I said, reaching out to gently pet the person's head. Phoon smiled sweetly at me. I don't know if other cats like being hugged, but mine really likes it. Every time I feel affection, I want to pet his head, but sometimes I pinch his cheeks instead, or pet him, but if I keep doing that, well, it's over. He let go of my hand before starting the car and driving away.
"Hey, Phoon, tomorrow's your birthday. What should we do?" Ter asked.
"I don't know. What should we do?"
"You're in Japan. Let's celebrate."
"You always tell me to party in Thailand."
"I have to buy a present tomorrow morning."
"It's actually not necessary. It's too complicated."
"What do you say? I want to do it. We're on vacation, if I don't buy you a present, it won't be fun."
"No problem. You can give it to me later."
"He was actually going to give it to me, too, wasn't he?"
"Obviously."
Tomorrow is Phoon's birthday. I'm not good at surprises. There won't be any surprises. I'll take him for a walk, and then we'll have a party to celebrate. As for the gift, I've already prepared it.
We stopped for lunch before returning to the hotel. We didn't stop anywhere else because the kids told us to stay at the hotel. They had booked four rooms: mine and Phoon's. Then there were Ter and Hill's, Jo and North's, and Arthit's. When we arrived, Thit was sleeping, so I don't know if he had dinner. I bought him something anyway.
I stopped to drop off Thit's dinner before heading back to the room. This time I didn't stay at a ryokan like last time because this hotel was closest to his mother's house. I didn't want to be too far away. I walked in and saw Phoon on the bed, looking at his bag. So I took the opportunity to hug him from behind and steal a kiss on the cheek. The boy looked a little surprised. I saw his ears slowly turn red before he slowly turned to look at me.
"Now... tell me how today went."
"All right."
I slowly released the embrace and sat down in the centre of the bed. Then Phoon sat down in front of me and began to tell me in detail everything that had happened since he'd come into the house.
"North had a big fight with Daiki. He's already twenty years old. Why is he fighting with an eight-year-old?" I smiled because I saw Phoon frown.
"But it's nice to have North and Ter with me. I don't feel uncomfortable."
"Ter and North asked to come with you for this. They didn't want you to feel uncomfortable," I said. "Those two are worried about you."
"I know. That's why I thank them both."
"It's nice to have such a good friend," I said. I was very grateful to his friends, who had been so kind to him, and to his mother. Phoon was a very kind person and should always receive good things. "You are a very kind person."
“Really?” he asked again, not really believing what I’d said.
"Really, you're so kind. Not many people would be happy if their parents remarried. And then they'd love their stepbrothers that way, too."
"Oh. Actually." Phoon paused for a moment. "It's because of Phi Fah and Torfan."
"Really? Why?"
"The reason I'm this way is that you and Torfan taught me to be this way. When I was little, I was always with you two. Because Phi Fah was good, Torfan was good, so Phoon too... I became good, right?"
"Oh..." I nodded as if I understood. "Did you ask your mother for gifts?" I asked. Phoon paused for a moment.
"Ah... I forgot."
"You forgot. You were just bragging. What should I do?"
Phoon began to panic a little.
"Okay. You can ask later. Anyway, we'll keep in touch, right?" I said.
"Right."
"Actually, I... I talked more with Mom," I told her truthfully. Actually, I talked with Mom for a while. We didn't just talk about what I'd told Phoon earlier. But there wasn't time to explain it in detail. The person in front of me immediately showed interest.
"What else did they talk about?"
"By the way... I told her I thought... You and Mom were a lot alike."
"...Oh really?"
"Yes, since you don't understand Thai very well, I couldn't say much, but I let her know that I thought you were like that... because of you. Because you also seem kind and thoughtful." I said what I thought while the person listened attentively. "Also, your faces are very similar, especially the eyes."
“Oh, I didn't know that,” Phoon said thoughtfully.
"Yes, Mom's eyes are very beautiful."
Phoon was silent for a moment before slowly looking at me. He looked confused for a moment before his sweet face began to blush.
"So I told her: Thank you... for giving you such beautiful eyes. Thank you... for giving you such a beautiful, bright smile. Thank you... for being kind and strong. That's why you are the way you are, too. Thank you... for enduring hardships. Thank you... for deciding to keep this child more than twenty years ago."
"Because of him, Phoon exists now, so Phi can love him like this every day, right?"
I remained silent, not daring to look at the person because those words, which sounded like praise, made my heart beat faster. It was already beating faster because of those words. Phi gets Phoon because Phi Fah loves him... Ah... I feel the danger again.
"Just that?"
"That's all. So, I finally made the promise I told you about."
"Oh." Phi Fah promised he would tell my mother he would take care of me and protect me, right? Thinking back, I still felt embarrassed. It meant a lot to me that Phi Fah said to my mother, "Thank you for the promise."
“Come here, hug me.”
"And the gift? I'm so tired." I didn't answer before approaching. The man hugged me, letting me lean against his chest while he leaned against the headboard. He gently pressed the tip of his nose against my shoulder, making me feel a little tickled. "You smell so good."
"I don't smell anything," I said honestly. Since I was born, I'd never smelled myself once. "What kind of smell?"
"It's the smell of Phoon. I don't know. No perfume smells like that."
"Perhaps."
“If there is, let me know, and I'll buy it all,” Phi Fah said softly.
"And then I'll order a halt to production."
"It's too much, right?" I stammered before feeling a large hand slowly reach out for mine, so I clasped it with my other hand. Phi Fah's hands were so soft and his fingers so graceful. "Phi Fah, can you write with both hands?"
"Yes, why?"
"I also wish I could write with both hands."
"There's no need."
"So why do you practice writing with your right hand? Actually, being left-handed
Isn't it that difficult?"
"Hmm, if you write a lot and your hand hurts, you can switch hands. It's also annoying because it's difficult to write with your left hand on the desk in class."
"Oh, yes, it's true. That's why I hate desks in class. It's not fair. Not everyone is left-handed. Why do we have to make only one type of desk for each class?" I complained because it was the truth, which made it difficult for me to study sitting at a desk in class.
"I guess if you study photography, you won't see it very often anymore. You won't need to take so many notes anymore.
"Do you know what photography teaches us?"
"I don't know. But I have a friend who studies photography. Should I ask him?"
"Please ask him. I want to know."
"What will I get in return?"
"Did you learn to act like this from Phi Jo?" I asked, remembering North had said Jo would always give him something in return whenever he asked. Lately, Fah had been like that, too.
"Not really. I just want a little profit," Fah said slyly. I pouted even though he didn't see me. He was the best at flirting, and I calmed down for a moment before slowly getting up and turning to him. No matter how many times... I'm not used to it. Since I was on my knees, I could see all the way up to Phi Fah. He gave me a small smile, as if waiting to see what I would do next.
"P... Phoon, you'd better tell me about it yourself," I said, unable to bear the awkwardness any longer. I was about to turn around, but Phi Fah stopped me. "Ah!" The man easily sat me on his lap. Before I knew it, our faces were just inches apart.
"Ugh." At that moment, his thick lips pressed together gently, and his warm tongue entered slowly and delicately. It was a lingering kiss, emphasising the touch as the other person usually did. It wasn't violent, but it made my heart skip a beat in an inexplicable way. I slowly closed my eyes and accepted that sweet touch.
Every time the tips of our tongues touched, I felt a little heat throughout my chest. Our hands intertwined. Our warm breaths intertwined, including my heart, which always pounded when something like this happened.
Phi Fah let go of one of his hands before reaching out and pressing the back of my neck, holding it to bring us closer. The heat of his body made me feel even hotter.
It was so soft and warm, it almost made me melt. I made a slightly awkward sound when our lips touched. My breathing quickened as my heart beat faster, but I still managed to catch my breath because it wasn't a strong kiss until the other person increased the intensity.
"Mmm." He brought the back of my neck closer. The tip of his tongue ran across my mouth, alternating between my upper and lower lip. His other hand remained, and he began to act naughtily again. The warmth of his hand started at the back of my shirt and then grazed my entire back. Touching me like that, I immediately felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Soon, I began to lose my breath. As if sensing it, Phi Fah slowly pulled away from the kiss. Both hands were the first to move away. I slowly closed my eyes and saw a pair of beautiful eyes staring back at me. No matter how many times I looked at them, it seemed like there was a galaxy in those eyes, drawing me in and keeping me from looking away.
He lowered his head to kiss my shoulder and neck. I felt a slight pain. It meant that the person had left red marks on my body again. Fortunately, all the marks Phi Fah had left were under my clothes. Only occasionally did Phi Fah forget and leave marks in visible places. If that had happened, I would have had to find something to cover them.
“I’ll go ask my friend,” Phi Fah said, smiling with satisfaction.
"F… Fraud. I said I'd find out the information myself."
"I'm going to take a shower and sleep. Tomorrow I'll take you for a walk," Phi Fah said. I nodded because Phi Fah looked tired. I was worried and wanted him to rest, too. Then Phi Fah let go of his embrace and got up to take a shower.
I sat alone on the bed, pressing my lips together as I felt the gentle touch that had just occurred. Every time we kissed, I loved it when Phi Fah was gentle and slow with me. And that touch would last a long time. While I waited, I took out my phone to check. I forgot to mention that I had actually taken a picture of my mother. Too bad I hadn't brought a camera when I went to my mother's house, so I had to use my phone to take a picture.
It was a photo of my mother sitting on the balcony. There was also a photo of my mother looking away, out at the garden, and another of my mother smiling at the camera. I decided to post the photo of my mother smiling on Instagram, with the caption:
The most beautiful smile in the world :)
Then Phi Fah's words echoed in my head.
"Thank you for giving me such a beautiful, bright smile."
Will I really smile the same way my mother does? But if Phi Fah says so, that's enough for me. There are also photos of Daiki. I'll post them little by little. When that happens, my Instagram will no longer be filled with just photos of the sky.
I've decided to change my Instagram bio from "Sky Collector" to "Happiness Collector."
Because from now on, my Instagram will contain photos of me, of Phi Fah, old photos of Fan, photos of Mom and Daiki, photos of Aunt Prae and Fai. There will be photos of my friends, photos of all my happy memories. I want to save them all in the memory archive. But I still love looking at the sky. It's just that from now on, my life won't be happy just because I look at the sky. I'm so happy when I see myself smiling. So I posted some photos of myself, even though I've never taken or shared one before.
Torfan... Right now, Phoon... is the happiest person.
I saw a photo of Daiki and North, and they looked cute. It was taken secretly while they were having fun. If I posted this photo on Instagram, would North say anything? He'd probably complain that this photo looks cute. But it's really adorable. There's also a photo of Ter. Ter is trying to tidy up the messy toys because the two are arguing. He looks agitated. If Daiki and Foam were here, it would be great.
Then Phi Fah finished showering. His hair was still damp. He was wearing a T-shirt and matching pants, which indicated he was ready for bed, even though it was still after 7:00 PM. I went to get the hairdryer.
"I'll dry your hair."
"Oh, okay," Phi Fah said before sitting on the bed. I turned on the hairdryer and blew air through his hair. His jet-black hair was his natural colour. Phi Fah rarely did anything to my hair. I never saw him comb it; he didn't seem to care. Oh, but I did see him with his hair up. That was the one in the "Moon and Stars" photo contest at the university.
"Phi Fah," I called after I'd finished drying his hair. I reached over and put the hairdryer back in the nightstand drawer.
"YES?"
"Tell me about the Moon and Stars contest."
"What do you want to know?"
I want to know how you got there. Tell me.
"Um... At first, an elder showed up for the selection process. I actually didn't want to go, but the elder asked me to help him, so I went. At first, I thought I wouldn't get promoted, right?"
"Phi Fah, you didn't pass him?" I raised my eyebrows and asked curiously. What had made Phi Fah think he wouldn't pass?
“Hill, Johan and Arthit were there at the time.”
"Wow, they're all here."
"Yes, but Jo and Arthit didn't come. Those two didn't join the activity. They didn't even have their lines of code."
"So are you, Jo and you, Arthit.
"I didn't want to go, but I had to help the faculty. I ended up competing with Hill for the month's teaching. Our grades were the same."
"OH..."
"At first we were asked to decide again, but I didn't want to, so I thought Hill was better suited for the role of the moon, so I let him do it. At the time, he complained a lot that I was very lazy."
Is there such a thing?
"But Hill is a responsible person, so he has to be responsible. And he did it well."
"Phi Fah is also the second month, right?"
"YES."
"What must one do to become Deputy of the Moon?"
"I do practically nothing. For this kind of promotion, they call me Moon."
"Oh. Can I be the Moon?" I asked jokingly, remembering that I too had just joined a new faculty. "Actually, when I was still in my faculty, a senior asked me, but I refused. So did Ter."
"Phoon, do you want to be the Moon?" asked Phi Fah, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm just asking."
“You can’t. Because I won’t let you,” Phi Fah said, touching my furrowed brow and smiling.
"You seem jealous, you know that?"
Jealous... huh?
"I was just kidding, okay... Sir." I didn't know what else to say. Actually,
I had never seen Phi Fah jealous or possessive, so I never thought Phi Fah would be envious of me.
"Your face is red again," Phi Fah teased. I felt my face heat up, so I tried to calm down. "Now you can take a shower, then you can go to bed."
“Phi Fah, you can go to sleep early, it’s only 7:00 PM,” I said.
"Go take a shower and let's go to bed."
I think... I like the word "let's go," like "let's sleep together" or "let's eat together," that kind of thing. Something should be done together.
"If you're not there, I can't sleep."
"...Oh, okay." I nodded as if I understood, before quickly leaving to grab some clothes and go to the bathroom. Really, can you call this one spoiled? I know I can't, but honestly, even if it's Phi Fah, I can't lose to anyone. There you go, Typhoon.
I took the time to shower before leaving the bathroom. I hung my towel on the drying rack and saw Phi Fah playing with his phone. When he saw me leave, he put his phone down and hugged me as usual. Before I could say anything, Phi Fah pulled me down and climbed onto me. I was a little surprised when his thick lips kissed me again. Shortly after, he let go of me and walked away, hugging me from behind. Here's your goodnight kiss...
“Goodnight,” Phi Fah said softly.
“Good evening,” I replied.
"Phi Fah ama Phoon."
"Anche Phoon ama Phi Fah."
Just a goodnight kiss and lots of love before bed every night. It may seem trivial, but I like the normality that never changes. I want this normality to stay with me forever. The large hand still held one of mine. The other hug made me feel comfortable and safe the entire time, before his warm breath caressed my neck. After a while, I felt Phi Fah fall asleep. At first, I was surprised that Phi Fah slept easily, but I remembered him telling me, "If you're not here, I can't sleep."
Apparently, a light sleeper like Phi Fah can't sleep without me, huh? Thinking back, I couldn't help but smile. I was glad it happened, because I couldn't sleep without Phi Fah hugging me. Looking at my phone, it's about 9:30 PM, and I should be going to bed in half an hour. I need to go to bed early so I can wake up early and get ready for tomorrow's trip. After thinking about it for a bit, I fell asleep easily...
I woke up around 5 a.m. I usually wake up at this time. Every day, when I wake up, I find Phi Fah holding me as if I were asleep. When I wake up like this, I usually lie there and wait until it's time to get up and go out, because if I move, Phi Fah wakes up too. One time, I noticed that if I got out of bed, the hands holding me would eventually start looking for me. If Phi Fah couldn't find me, he would wake up early. Because I was tired, I turned over and looked at the person who was fast asleep. I had been secretly watching Phi Fah sleep for as long as we'd been together, but I never got tired.
I don't know how much time had passed when I heard a knock on the door. Having to get up to open it, I tried to free myself from the person who had stopped me. It seemed Phi Fah hadn't woken up yet. I approached the door slowly so as not to make any noise. Looking through the doorway, I saw North and Ter. When I opened the door, I saw Phi Hill and Phi Jo leaning on the balcony, waiting.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Let's cook."
"Oh?"
"You don't know how to cook?" Ter repeated the question.
"Yes, you can, but why do you suddenly feel like cooking?"
“I don’t know,” he said.
North shook his head slightly. "There's a supermarket open. Let's go get something."
"Where are we cooking?"
"Can we use your room?" Ter asked. I immediately frowned.
"Why does it have to be in my room?"
"Because Phi Fah is good."
"Ah, I see?"
"Ter's room is out of the question because Phi Hill doesn't like noise. Mine is also out of the question because Phi Jo doesn't want anyone else in there. And of course, Phi Arthit's room is out of the question as well. So it has to be your room," North whispered. I sighed involuntarily. They both wanted to go shopping, and the others would join us.
"Okay. Shall we go shopping now?" I asked. They both nodded.
Do you want to wake Phi Fa? Ter asked.
"No, he looks tired. I don't want to wake him," I said. "But I'll try asking. It'll be a problem if I leave without saying anything. You guys go in first," I told Phi Hill and Phi Jo. The four of them came in and sat on the couch. The two doctors looked freshly woken up, but still seemed fine. When I returned to the room, suddenly... someone hugged me from behind. North and Ter looked surprised, but Phi Hill and Phi Jo showed no reaction. Before I could react, Phi Fah lifted my chin with one hand and gave me a sweet kiss.
"Why are you awake?" asked Phi Fah, still half asleep. Perhaps he hadn't seen who was waiting for him. As usual, he kissed me good morning.
"Good morning."
"Good morning."
I felt awkward and looked around at the people waiting. North and Ter avoided my gaze, while Phi Jo and Phi Hill looked surprised.
"Wow," Phi Jo said, as if joking. Phi Fah looked up at the waiting crowd, a little surprised to see them, but not overly so.
You should be surprised! You...!
"Why did you come?" asked Phi Fah.
"We want to take you shopping," Phi Hill replied. "Are you coming?"
"Do you want to come, Phoon?" Phi Fah asked, and I nodded. "Come on, wait a minute." Phi Fah then pulled my hand toward the changing room, showing no sign of discomfort at what had just happened.
"Phi Fah, what were you talking about just now?"
"Hmm? What's wrong?"
"Everyone saw it."
"Good morning, a kiss?" Phi Fah smiled. I wanted to protest, but I couldn't.
"Don't worry. Don't think about it too much."
"How could I not think of that?"
"Are you angry?"
"Yes, very angry." I pretended to be angry. Phi Fah picked me up and sat me on his lap. I gave him a light slap, and he was surprised.
"What are you doing?"
"I spoil you."
"Who cuddles like this?"
"It was Phi Fah." Phi Fah smiled. "Who told you to get out of bed?"
"North and Ter knocked on the door."
"It is true?"
I looked at him, confused. I felt embarrassed and perplexed at the same time. Why had he only answered "Oh" after I'd explained everything?
"I had to get out of bed because there was a knock on the door. So you can't disturb me by doing that."
"I'm not bothering you. I haven't actually seen them."
"Really?" I asked again. Phi Fah smiled.
"Really. I'll never bother you."
“You’re the biggest pest, Phi Fah,” I said with a pout, which prompted him to gently pinch my nose.
"Then let's not talk about what we just said. We need a proper morning kiss."
"A real morning kiss?"
"Yes, a real morning kiss."
"No, I don't think so."
"A kiss good morning, please."
"Too long."
There you go! I told you I couldn't refuse. I summoned the little courage I had. I was never the first to initiate a kiss or a hug. When Phi Fah asked me, I was always nervous and didn't know what to do. I placed a hand on Phi Fah's shoulder and slowly approached him. With every second that passed, our faces grew closer. I closed my eyes, and our lips met. After a while, I shyly pulled away, while Phi Fah smiled.
"Good morning again."
"Good morning."