South; Beside the Sky. 

The rain outside continued to pour, even though it was almost three in the morning. I stared out the window, sitting on the swing chair in my room. I leaned back and sighed. It struck me, just as Jo had said. I got up from the chair and opened the closet. There I found Phoon's notebook, which we used to study together.

 

I took the notebook from the table, along with the letters I received every day and the birthday present Phoon had just given me. Phoon's handwriting and the letter don't match. But Phoon's handwriting has changed. Others might not notice because when we use two font types every day, they're likely to blend together.

 

The words "Happy Birthday" on the gift were a mix of Phoon's original handwriting and that of the person who wrote the letter. When I received the gift, I didn't pay attention at first. However, while studying with my friends at the store, I suddenly felt a pang of suspicion. When I thought back, I was shocked. Although there was no definitive proof, I was 90% sure that the letter had been written by Typhoon.

 

Shortly afterwards, the store lights went out, and a ruckus immediately broke out. My first thought was, "What about Phoon?" I wasn't too surprised when the lights went out, as power outages are common here during heavy rain. When the lights went out, everyone started turning on their cell phone flashlights to illuminate their surroundings, but I didn't see Phoon in the bathroom. I only knew he'd already left, since the store had two bathrooms. At first, I thought he'd gone to the one nearby, but I didn't see anyone when I looked. I immediately ran downstairs. Amid the pouring rain and thunder, I heard someone crying and screaming from inside.

 

When the person said the door lock was broken, I broke the door without thinking.

Phoon ran to me and hugged me tightly, trembling with fear, worrying me greatly. I couldn't help but hug him and comfort him, telling him everything would be okay. The person in my arms continued to cry and talk nonstop, as if he'd lost his mind.

 

At first, when he apologised to me, I wasn't angry anymore. I just wanted to hear an apology. His words of apology, spoken with tears of guilt, made me realise that Phoon felt guilty towards me. Secretly, it made me happy, because Phoon was still thinking about my feelings. As I said before, I often forget my own feelings. Maybe because I'm too kind to others, they think an apology is enough. Or, worse still, people like me are considered incapable of anger, or even of being unfair.

 

"Phi Fah, don't be mad at Phoon, Phoon. Phoon won't do it again."

Yes, Phi Fah isn't angry anymore. I told him how I felt, hoping he'd calm down, while I slowly wiped away the tears streaming down his face. Anyway, the only person I tell my name to when I speak is Phoon.

"Are you OK?"

 

"YES."

 

"Then let's go back upstairs."

 

"Okay." I reached out to take his hand. He didn't say anything and followed me silently.

 

"Thank you."

 

Amid the rain so heavy it drowned out my heartbeat, the person next to me spoke words of gratitude. I wasn't entirely sure what they meant. Thank you for what?

 

“Thanks to you, too,” I replied.

 

It was a thank-you for coming back, for taking care of me and caring for me, for the letters and photos, for all the love Phoon showed me. In the past, I saw Phoon as a Nong, and Phoon himself treated me as his Phi, because Phoon never showed me how much he loved me. If he had told me from the beginning, if I had known he loved me so deeply, I wouldn't have let so much time pass. How could I not fall in love with him if that were the case?

 

Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you. Many people wish you the best, but I'm sure I'm one of the few who truly pray for you. Tonight, I pray you're happy, because your smile is the wonder of the world. I know you're good at studying or working, so I pray you feel uplifted, sleep well every night, and wake up as bright as the sun in the morning. If I say thank you for being born, is that too much to say? But I mean it.

Thank you for being who you are today. The fact that you are who you are is more special than anything else in the world. It's as if over twenty years ago God blessed the world, and that blessing was you.

 

I bought you a Polaroid for your birthday. I'd like to take a picture with you. You don't like taking pictures, but give it a try. It's a nice pastime. We can share photos every day. But if you don't like it, keep it. I think it will be useful to you in the future. :)

I smiled as I read the message in the newspaper. Mailing it meant so much to me. But when we met in person, he barely said anything. So this year, I received two gifts from the same person, right? I reached out and pulled out the gift.

 

There was a Polaroid box. I opened it and saw my new Polaroid. I'd bought it the day before because I wanted to take some pictures and send them to him, but since he gave it to me, now... I think.

 

I kept my Polaroid in my closet. I couldn't help it. Inside my bag was a Polaroid of a clear, cloudless sky, with a message underneath that read, "My prayers are always with you :)." I smiled again as I read it. Yes. Your prayers have reached me.

 

"Hill."

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Can you see this?"

 

Hill looked at me and held up his phone. First, I showed him a photo of Phoon's notes, then another of the person writing on the note.

 

"What do you think?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Do you think this is the same person?"

 

"No." Hill shook his head. "Not exactly, but people can change their writing style, right?"

 

"Isn't it the same thing?"

 

"Hmm, it's not the same."

 

"And look at this." I scrolled to the third photo. It was a "Happy Birthday" note from Phoon, included with his gift to me. "Which of the first two do you think are the same?"

 

Hill was silent for a moment. "Both." I remained silent, waiting for him to continue. "No," Hill looked at the three photos, "more like the first, but also a little like the second."

 

"Hmm. Analysis."

"What? Why?"

 

"I just wanted to know if you think the same way as me."

 

"Ah." Hill frowned slightly, looking serious. His hands moved back and forth. After a moment, he said, "The same person wrote all three of these."

 

"Hmm."

 

"The first one is the style he usually uses, and the second one is the style he just wrote, but I'm not sure why he combined the two in the third piece. Or maybe it's because...?"

 

"He often wrote both styles interchangeably, so he wrote it by accident."

 

"Yes, it's as if he's accustomed to writing in a certain style," said the person in front of me, raising a hand to support his chin. "If the first style is the normal one and he's accustomed to writing in the second, it means the second style must be very thoughtful. When he returns to the normal style, the influence still lingers."

 

"Yes." I nodded. Hill agreed. I was initially confident in my hypothesis, but I felt even more specific when Hill said this. "I think the first style is the most natural, because the lines are a little freer."

 

"Hmm."

 

"The second one looks stiff, which means he's trying to write."

 

"Ah."

 

"So, what do you want me to analyse?"

 

"That means I found the person who sent the letter."

 

"Hmm? Did you find it?"

 

"Not entirely. He came to me."

 

"By letter?"

 

"Hmm."

"If not him, who else? If you don't ask, it must be Nong Phoon, right?"

 

"Yes," I replied, picking up the phone again. If it had been anyone else, he would have been surprised to find out it was Phoon, even though he hadn't said so directly. But he probably could have guessed, given that it was Hill and he had seen the contents of the letter.

 

"So, you see Phoon differently?" I nodded in response to his question. "And do you like Phoon the way you like the person in the letter?"

 

"Hmm, I like being alone. But if Phoon wrote the letter, I like Phoon. There's no one else."

 

"Unfortunately, he never showed it before." Hill's tone was flat. Now it was just the two of us sitting at that table. Jo and Arthit had gone somewhere else. "When you were together, was there nothing going on? If he liked you from the start, what happened?"

 

"Hill, Phoon and I haven't seen each other in almost four years. We just met in college. What do you expect me to do?" I said. "I think so! I might like Phoon, but just by looking at him, I should be able to tell how much he likes me. To me, he's never been anything but Nong. Sometimes I even think I imagined it."

 

"Ah, why doesn't Phoon show it, huh?"

 

"Um. Especially that time, he didn't treat me well, and then he disappeared. I thought he didn't love me anymore."

 

"About those letters. Do you like it when the person in the letter cares about you?"

 

"Yes. It seemed like something no one had ever done before, and that was the kind of person I liked. Honestly, I didn't know Phoon had a side like that. The side he showed me through letters or words I read. I'd never seen Phoon like that before."

 

"Now that you know, how do you feel?"

 

"I think. I can't see Phoon just as my Nong anymore."