Personal Manager

19. Let's end it and move on.

 

It's already 3 AM, time to sleep. My tear stains have dried and crusted over, so I had to get up and wash my face again. Even after coming back out, I still couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't sleep, so I scrolled through my phone, looking at this and that, clicking in and out for a long time like a complete idiot. After a while, I got an Instagram notification. Someone sent me direct messages on Instagram.

 

Mhor.Ohm: You're still not asleep?

 

That's right, when I log in to Instagram, it shows I'm active. Thinking about this, if Gun is still awake, he'll definitely know that I couldn't sleep, but I guess the model is already asleep.  Kel snapped back to reality and focused on the message before typing a reply.

 

Nickel: I can't sleep. Why isn't Ohm sleeping either?

Mhor.Ohm: There was an emergency case at the hospital, but it's all resolved now.

Mhor.Ohm: I'm here to listen. What's wrong? Can't sleep?

Nickel: I want to eat rice porridge at my favourite shop, but Ohm probably won't be able to pick me up.

Mhor.Ohm: Why not?

Nickel: Oh, you're still in Bangkok?

Nickel: I thought you were living in another province. You said you were moving.

Mhor.Ohm: I haven't moved.

Mhor.Ohm: But it's only 3 AM. What shop is going to open for you?

Nickel: Exactly! Hahaha

Mhor.Ohm: I'm coming to see you. Are you staying at home or in a condo?

Nickel: It's alright, doctor. Go back and rest.

Mhor.Ohm: You definitely have something on your mind. Feel free to consult me.

Mhor.Ohm: Ohm may not be good at giving advice, but I can listen. 

Mhor.Ohm: Don't cry too much.

 

Lately, I've just been reading and haven't dared to type anything else. Ohm has always been a lovely person to me, no matter what happens. Kel honestly admits that if he could vent his frustrations to someone right now, it would be Ohm. It's about Gun, the person he loves at the time. But I couldn't tell them about it, for fear of making things worse. Ohm kept texting nonstop, but the main point was to ask to meet. Finally, Kel agreed.

 

Nickel: I’m at home.

 

It wasn't long before the young doctor messaged to say he had arrived.  Kel hadn't cut off contact with his ex, citing that they were still good friends. He hurried down to open the door and lock it as usual, then got into the familiar car. The owner of the house turned to look but didn't ask any questions, presumably waiting for him to speak first.

"Where are you taking me, Ohm? The rice porridge shop isn't even open yet," Kel said with a slight smile.

 

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Ohm didn't answer, but asked a different question instead. That was because he noticed the smaller person didn't look well.

 

"Kel." Kel could only remain silent, pressing his lips together tightly.

 

"Your eyes are all swollen," the observant person said sympathetically. Even though he didn't know the cause, he didn't want to see someone as friendly as Kel like that. Feeling depressed like this.

 

"That's too bad."

"…”

 

"Is there anything that can help reduce the swelling? I have to go to work soon." Kel didn't want Gun to see. The sun would rise in a few hours. And, to be honest, he wasn't ready to work at all.

 

"Do you have anything you want to tell me? I'll listen." Upon hearing this, the little one blinked rapidly. Oh my god. I can't let the tears flow anymore because I've already cried a lot.

 

"We... *sobs*!"

 

"I don't want you to cry, but I also don't want you to keep all your worries to yourself. Have you talked to anyone about it yet ?" Ohm remained polite and as kind as ever; his voice was so gentle, asking with concern.

 

"Not yet," he shook his head slightly.

 

"Then you can just sit like this for now." He didn't want to rush the other person or make them cry even harder.

 

"Oh my god, I have an impossible love," the small figure said after a while, realising he really needed to vent.

 

"Hmm?" His dark eyebrows furrowed together, his sharp eyes fixed on the sweet face.

 

"Ohm, do you remember the model that  I was taking care of? We met back then," when they were at the hospital in the province.

 

"Him? Do you love him?"

"Hmm," the slender figure nodded in agreement.

 

"What do you mean by 'impossible'?"

 

Then, tearfully, Kel told his ex-boyfriend his sad story. Ohm was very kind, offering advice and readily providing all his support. And here are some comments from the young doctor.

 

"If that model feels the same way, Ohm wants  you to tell him because this is a matter between two people, not something to be shared."

 

"Making decisions unilaterally, Ohm wants  Kel to follow his feelings and not run away from problems that you won't regret later if he makes a wrong decision. But if you have already chosen an answer in your heart, you should protect your own heart. Or, if you love him very much, you should protect his heart too. Everyone has feelings, and a heart is just a small thing. It shouldn't have to endure so much pain."

 

Is this what you mean by not being good at advising others? It's not that he doesn't want to follow it; it's just that he doesn't want Gun involved in scandals with his personal manager. It wouldn't be appropriate, and he’d likely face reprimands from his superiors. In short, either way, it would be painful. 

 

The young doctor listened to the reasons the petite boy wouldn't tell the model. If  Kel had made his choice, all he could do was stay by his side. He dropped off at Kel's condo because he didn't want Gun to pick him up at home.

 

Gun was slightly surprised to see a message from his personal manager saying that he didn't need to pick him up anymore because he had already returned to his condo, and that they should meet at work. 

 

Filming for the series started at eleven o'clock. Not having slept cuddling for a whole night made him miss it terribly, which might sound like an exaggeration, but that's really how he felt.

 

Gun arrived at the set on time and found the petite figure already waiting for him. Just seeing that made Gun want to run over and hug and kiss Kel to make up for all the time he’d missed him.

 

But this place is a public space, which is not at all conducive to safety, and there are a lot of people around.

 

"Have you been here long?" Gun asked, walking over to ask.

 

"Just arrived," he said, putting on his sunglasses, which wasn't surprising since today's shoot was outdoors, not in a studio like yesterday.

 

"Have you eaten anything yet? I missed you so much," he said, taking advantage of the moment they were alone. Hearing this,  became even sadder, but his mouth still wore a smile, Kel acted normally.

 

"I miss you too. We've finished filming for today, shall we go grab something delicious to eat?"

 

"Nothing's as delicious as you, P'Kel." Gun teased.

 

"Just eat me, it'll be twice as delicious!" If it's their last day, let it be the happiest day of their lives.

 

"Okay," Gun smiled with satisfaction before walking over to the crew for makeup and hair styling. Kel took good care of Kant, going out to buy him drinks and his favourite snacks during breaks. Seeing sweat beading on his handsome face, he could only say one thing. Looking around, he saw other managers attending to their stars so closely; he was quite envious.

 

"Why tell me? Wipe it for me." The model's hands were busy, so he crouched down slightly. "But it's normal. Other people do it too, there's nothing strange about it."

 

"Hmm," yes, that's true. It was Kel who was acting restless and paranoid, all because he was afraid someone would find out about that video.

 

The short man stood wiping the sweat from the model's forehead, his heart pounding uncontrollably. He didn't dare look around to see if anyone was watching his actions. He probably thought about it more deeply, but Gun didn't seem to care at all, just kept winking and raising his eyebrows.

 

"Thank you," the handsome face smiled broadly.

 

Gun continued filming the series until he finished for today. Kel still insists he doesn't like the sweet romantic scenes between the lead couple, but what can Kel do? Now that he probably won't have the right to tell the model he's unhappy anymore and won't be able to be as affectionate as before, will the next manager take good care of Gun? Will the delicious treats during breaks on set be the same ones he used to provide?

 

Sure, there are probably people working in this field who must be highly professional. How many hours are left until they part ways? They arrived at the model's room, which was Kel's wish to spend the night there. Let this be our last embrace, and a beautiful memory to be kept in this room forever.

 

"We've already had the savoury dishes, shall we have dessert next?" The slender hand pushed the tall man until his back was against the door.

 

"Why do you seem so rushed today?" He knew Kel was being flirtatious, but Kel wasn't usually this impatient. He could sense the difference in his behaviour.

 

"nothing"

 

"I think your eyes are swollen. Didn't you sleep well last night?" Gun touched his finger under Kel’s eyes.

 

"Is it still swollen? Yes. I couldn't sleep last night because I kept thinking about Gun,"  Kel said, then took the thick hand away from his face and sucked on it. Gun’s index and middle fingers were wet with his saliva.

 

"Wait a minute, that's a bump!" His other hand squeezed Kel’s slender waist once more.

 

"Don't you want to? Or are you not going to do it today?" He pulled his mouth away from the fingers and asked, before reaching up to unbutton the taller man's shirt.

 

"You're teasing me again," Kel said, taking off his shirt while stepping back as the taller boy cornered him until his small back was against the door.

 

"I missed you," a sweet voice murmured.

 

"I have something I want to tell you, and I think I can't let it go on any longer."

 

The round eyes blinked repeatedly, looking intently.

"My feelings for you are growing stronger every day."

 

The smaller figure swallowed hard. Gun was talking about his feelings for him, as if he knew he had little time left to say them. It made him want to talk.

 

"I love you. I want to ask you out again, but I'm a coward, afraid you'll reject me again." The tall figure chuckled softly, feeling sorry for himself.

 

"That's me, your older sibling."

 

"Please don't refuse just yet," the other person interrupted. But it wasn't that Kel was going to refuse; he wanted to make the most of the remaining time. "I love Gun too. I love him so much, I don't want to go anywhere." What should he do?

 

"I'm not letting you go. You asked me to stay here, so you're not allowed to go anywhere either."

 

"..." He really meant it, but now it's he who's about to step out of Gun’s life. It's him who's about to betray the feelings of the person you love.

 

"We'll stay together like this until you're confident in me." Because Gun knew that Kel's rejection was due to him not being ready, probably because he wasn't confident in himself. How to deal with the news about the model being in love with his manager.

 

"Mm-hmm," Kel replied, knowing full well that they wouldn't be together like this again. It's like building a castle in the air to deceive Gun, isn't it? Kel thought. I wanted to make today the most beautiful, happiest day, but now it's filled with lies and deception.

 

The warm arms still embraced the slender body even now. It was early morning, and Kel had to wake up because it was time. He gently removed the strong arm from his body, then got out of bed. He turned back to look at the handsome face that was still sleeping soundly, and longed to kiss his cheek goodbye, fulfilling his desire before he could no longer touch him. Kel’s slender lips gently pressed against his curved lips, and he kissed his cheek again, afraid that he would wake up.

 

"I love you. I wish you a good life, Gun, and that you remain a famous model forever."

 

Those were the last words he uttered, spoken in the softest voice, before he steeled himself and walked out of the bedroom. His heart was shattered into a million pieces, the pain excruciating. It was like a storm was brewing. The last image Kel saw was of the person he loved lying there, but Kel had to force himself to let go without question.

 

As soon as the door closed, the owner of the room opened his eyes. What did that kiss on the lips, that peck on the cheek, and that sentence he just said mean? Wasn't it...?

 

Gun had noticed the strange behaviour all day.  Kel didn't seem as cheerful as usual. He wore sunglasses to hide his swollen eyes from crying. Gun waited for Kel to tell him directly, but he wouldn't say anything. Even during sex last night, just before reaching climax, he asked if he wanted anything else, if he needed anything, but Kel just shook his head. So clever... Kel looked like he was about to cry, but wouldn't, leaving Gun worried.

 

The tall figure immediately left the room, noticing the key card he had given Kel lying on the table outside. He gritted his teeth, thinking that the shorter boy was planning to escape.

 

So that's it? How dare you leave it like this? What secret are you keeping? He strode after Kel and, upon reaching downstairs, found his personal manager talking to someone he'd met before that doctor, the one who was Kel's ex-boyfriend. A moment later, the two of them hugged right in front of his condo. It was eerily silent at that moment.

 

Push!

"What the hell do you want, messing with my wife?" The young model walked over to separate the two and then pushed the young doctor in the chest, causing him to stumble back a little.

 

"Gun!"  Kel turned around and glared at him.

 

"Get in the car, Ohm will give you a ride. Leave Kel's car here, I'll have someone drive it back for you." The doctor didn't pay attention to the newcomer; he only looked at the newcomer's face, a mix of sadness.

 

"What did you say?" Gun spat out a curse word for the second time.

 

"Let go," Ohm said, pulling on Kel's other arm.

 

"We're just exes, that's the end of it. Why are you bothering me again?" The model yanked the shorter man back to his side.

 

"Gun, let go of me,"  Kel tried to pry his strong hand off.

 

"What?" he asked, to make sure Kel really wanted this.

 

"Gun, please let me go." The answer was unambiguous.

 

"Where are you going? Why didn't you tell me what's wrong?" He was completely annoyed.

 

"Please, Gun, can you let me go?" The same old words the listener dreads. He keeps asking to be released but refuses to give a reason for wanting to leave.

 

"What kind of nonsense is this? Last night you said 'I love you,' and then we kissed before leaving." I don't understand anything. And if you keep choosing not to say anything like this, he might lose his patience.

 

"I'm sorry," a soft voice uttered, judging from his exhausted expression.

 

"I won't accept it. Just say what you have to say." Gun will not accept any apologies whatsoever.

 

"I'm going to get back together with Ohm."

 

"The model's heart sank suddenly. Is he going to get back together with him?

 

"You heard Kel clearly now, let go," the doctor ordered, and reached out to grab Kel's arm.

 

"No!" But Gun refused to let Ohm touch.

 

"What do you want to do?"

 

If you ask what I want, this is exactly it. Gun landed a punch to Dr Ohm's face, sending him spinning from the force of the blow.

 

"Stop right now!" Kel was displeased. This was his problem, but it was Ohm who was getting hurt.

 

"I won't let you go. Why would you go back to him and then tell me you love me?"

 

"Okay, then I'll say it again. I don't love you, Gun," the smaller figure argued, lifting his chin and trying to free his wrist from the grip, but to no avail.

 

"..." Gun refused to let go, saying nothing. Only his eyes conveyed pain. Nothing hurt more than Kel saying he didn’t love him. 

 

"I never loved you... Everything I said was a lie. Nothing that happened between us was real." 

 

Every sentence was clear and distinct. Gun nodded. His face contorted as he clenched his jaw tightly.

 

"You're making me angry," the voice was much softer, but Kel knew Gun was serious.

 

"Ouch," his wrist felt the increasing pressure. 

 

"Aren't you a celebrity? Why are you making such a fuss here?" Ohm asked. It was a public space with no one else around, but this was still inappropriate.

 

"Screw it, I don't care."

 

"Speak respectfully, he's older," Kel interrupted. Gun had used foul language again.

 

"So what? Just because he's older, you're siding with him, huh? I'm younger, so I have to act like some clueless idiot, right? When you came back yesterday, what happened at home?" His sharp eyes demanded an answer, trying not to get angry.

 

"That's enough. Let's end it here."

 

"Dream on!" Who would ever agree to that?

 

"Let go of Kel," Ohm said again.

 

"You're the one who needs to let my wife go! Aren't you ashamed of stealing someone else's wife?"

 

Slap!

"Stop rambling and let's just end this, no matter what. I don't love Gun. I hate people like him the most!" That's it. All that effort to create A good memory before parting:  Kel slapped his sharp face to bring him back to his senses.

 

"Hmph, you slapped my face to protect him." 

 

This time, the young model even smirked, but it was tinged with anger.

 

"..." Kel pursed his lips tightly.

 

"Have you ever seen my hot-tempered side? If not... You might. And if you don't tell the truth, I'll force it out of you." (The threat was unsettling.)

 

The listeners got goosebumps. Then, Gun immediately lifted Kel onto his shoulder.

 

"Let go! I'm not going!" The small fist pounded against the broad back.

 

"Stop right now, or I'll report you to the police," the doctor said sternly.

 

"Go ahead and report it. Tell the police that you're having an affair."

 

"Let me go!"

 

"If you come in, you're trespassing on someone else's property. And besides... don't you dare mess with my people again. Remember that!" Gun turned to tell Ohm again.

 

It's not that Ohm doesn't dare try to get back, but it's obvious how possessive this model is of Kel, and even more so, he doesn't want Kel to run away from his problems.

 

Hey!

"Ugh!" The small person was thrown onto the long sofa.

 

"I'm giving you a chance to tell the truth." Gun ordered in a stern voice, hands on his hips, glaring fiercely, but Kel sprang up and was about to run out of the room.

 

"Where are you going? I told you not to go." Did you think you could escape? His strong hand gripped his slender arm tightly, very tightly indeed. If he let go...It left a red mark. 

 

"Let go," the sweet face began to pout because of the pain.

 

"Five... four... three..." He began counting. But Kel didn't answer. Not wanting to challenge him in any way. He didn't want to say anything. His heart was pounding, and he was both frightened and hesitant.

 

"Remember when I told you that when I'm jealous, I get really hot-headed? If it's necessary, to the point where I have to tie you to the bed, I will. I don't know the whole story. I don't believe you'd easily fallen out of love with me. I don't believe you want to go back to him. And I don't believe our past happiness was just an illusion. If you don't speak up today... You'll have to speak up someday anyway."