Personal Manager

15 - It's not the same anymore.

 

Today, the series crew held a workshop for the actors before filming began, so everyone could get to know each other. The short guy is standing and waiting to be picked up from his condo. After that day when Gun asked him to be his boyfriend, and he rejected him, they hadn't slept together again. In fact, Gun initially planned to have Kel go to the film set on his own, but Kel refused.

 

It wasn't long before a luxurious car pulled up and parked. A slender hand reached out to open the door before Kel got in his usual seat. There were no greetings because Kel waited for Gun to speak first, but was met with disappointment. Gun didn't even look at him; he just drove away in silence until finally Kel had to be the one to surrender.

 

"Have you eaten anything yet?" The slender figure turned to look at the sharp features of the face.

 

“I've eaten. What about you?" At least he asked back, even if he didn't look at me.

 

"I've eaten too," he replied, and that was all it said, sending an awkward silence back into the car. No one knew what either was thinking. They'd talked less and less the past few days. They only saw each other for work and parted ways as soon as the work was done. From being inseparable, the young model had been trying to keep his distance. He didn't stay at his condo like before, and he didn't invite him to stay at his own condo either. There wasn't even the hugging or kissing they used to share.

 

"The traffic is so bad, isn't it?" The petite figure started another conversation.

 

"Hmm." That's really all.

 

They had agreed to wait until Kel was ready, so why has Gun changed so much, like a completely different person? Kel wanted to know, but was too afraid to ask.

 

When Gun’s face turned expressionless, it was frightening. Silence enveloped the area until they arrived at the meeting place. The spacious hall accommodated dozens of people today. Photographers had been capturing the atmosphere since morning. Gun separated to join a group of students. Kel then went to talk to the crew and the celebrity manager whom he had only recently met.

 

"Hello, Mr Kel."

"Hello, Ms Oom," this person is Darin's personal manager.

 

"It's a shame that the chairman on Mr Kel’s side doesn't push Nong Kant and Nong Darin to work together more. If they were groomed as a pair, they would be incredibly successful."

 

"Absolutely!" she said confidently, her face beaming with happiness.

 

"Nong Kant is very busy. He's still taking on modelling jobs these days, as well as series and upcoming events. The chairman probably organised it"

"I feel sorry for him," he said. The truth is, he was the one who argued fiercely with the chairman to get this result.

 

"Then it would be best to wait until the series' promotional period is over before we work together. It probably won't be too late."

 

"Okay," Kel said, cutting him off with a simple nod because he was too lazy to listen further.

 

A workshop is a meeting where actors are invited to discuss and understand the script together, rehearsing every scene closely with the director. Their job is to explain each character's personality to everyone. Currently, the actors are moving closer together to sit in a circle and chat.

 

The personnel managers sat on the other side of the room. Kel kept observing and saw that the handsome model was working very hard, especially when someone spoke.

 

Kel nodded in understanding attentively, but what bothered him a little was that the other person was sitting right next to Darin, practically touching her.

 

"They're cute," the actress's manager was probably referring to the two of them.

 

When the director had them memorise the names of other characters in the story, many people answered incorrectly. The atmosphere then became much livelier and more fun.

 

Darin was smiling broadly, and when she laughed, she would often lean towards the young man beside her.

 

"What's cute?" Kel pretended not to know.

 

"That's Nong Kant and Nong Darin, look!"

 

"Oh," he responded softly, but said nothing more. She might be cute in the eyes of others, but certainly not in his. 

 

Time passed until lunchtime. Food was readily available for everyone. The actors ate at another table, separate from their managers. They would attend to their respective staff after finishing their meals. When Kel finished eating, he got up to grab some water, drank, and went straight to the male model under his care. Kel walked closer and closer, his gaze fixed on the two. They seemed to be getting close, judging by how close they had been all morning.

 

"Bring me some water."

 

"We have it here too," Darin interjected, her small voice pleasant to the ear but incredibly irritating to Kel. The staff had arranged the package. Drinking water is available at various locations for everyone in the unit.

 

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you," he lied. Anyone who didn't see you must be blind.

 

"Thank you," the young model said, then accepted the bottle of water.

 

"After you finish eating, I'd like to talk to you, Gun."

 

The short man walked away from the dining area. Once alone, he sighed heavily, weary. 

 

There was no work to do today. It was all just sitting here watching over Gun and discussing the schedule a little, but he felt so exhausted. Everything was so tiring.

 

"What do you want, brother?" A deep voice came from behind. Recognising who it was, he turned around.

 

"I haven't said anything yet. Actually, I don't know what to say."

 

"..." The other party remained silent, as if waiting to listen, while staring back with a calm, unwavering gaze.

 

"Are you tired?" Kel asked softly.

 

"Not really, it was more fun."

 

"Oh, that's good then." Why is he so different from himself?

 

Gun immediately sighed. He wasn't annoyed, just afraid the little one would cry. Just look at his face.

 

"Gun has changed."

 

"I'm the same as always."

 

"No, it's not like before. Ours isn't like this anymore," Kel’s voice began to tremble, but his volume increased as he argued.

 

"So what was it like?"

 

"Gun is ignoring me. Normally, we talk all the time, we're together day and night, but lately, if it's not work-related, Gun won't talk to me. I don't like it at all. It's suffocating."

 

"It's all gone," the small mouth began to pout, the beautiful eyes reflecting pain. He couldn't bear the fact that Kant didn't care about him like before.

 

"I have to read the script, I can't remember it yet," he said, using the script as an excuse. Kel knows best.

 

"Don't you like me anymore?"

 

That question made the listener's heart sink. Him? Could he really stop liking his own manager?"

 

"Isn't that right?" The sad eyes still pressed for an answer, having decided to ask directly because he desperately wanted to know Gun’s feelings at that moment. How about this? But what if the answer is that he doesn't like me anymore...?

 

"Don't cry."

 

“Gun didn't answer, which means he's really stopped liking me," Kel concluded.

 

"No," the young model quickly replied, leaving the listener stunned for a moment.

 

"Why don't you just stay with me? If you need to practice your lines, you can do it in my room." His voice softened. The details from the photoshoot were scattered all over Kel’s bedroom. Before this, Gun always carried them with him, even though he didn't pay much attention to those sheets of paper.

 

"..."

"We used to stay together every night. Gun would hug me until morning. But for the past few days, I've been waking up in the middle of the night because Gun isn't here. I'm not okay. I miss him so much," all the feelings poured out for the other person to know.

 

"Your body needs rest. I can't keep hurting you, and the only way is for me to distance myself from you," he said honestly. If they were together...Like every night, I have to do that kind of thing because I can't control myself when I'm around my personal manager.

 

"I won't be hurt, I won't let you go, I won't let you leave," the smaller man shook his head frantically again. He didn't want anything to do with being away from this model. After hesitating for so long, his slender hand slowly reached out to grasp the other's hand, his face pleading. Especially when he saw the sharp gaze...

 

Staying the same way only made him more afraid. Would Gun get annoyed if he persisted too much? Would he push him away? Although his mind was thinking that, his mouth contradicted it, refusing to give up.

 

"I'm not in pain. Can I stay with you tonight?" 

 

He would keep trying until Gun softened.

 

"Probably not," but the answer I heard was incredibly heartless. "Take a shower and go to bed early tonight. If you wash your hair, blow-dry it first, or you'll catch a cold." I knew every word was out of concern, but at this moment...Kel doesn't want anything more than to be together.

 

"No! Ugh!" I'd been holding it in for so long.

 

"Don't cry," Gun said immediately when he saw tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

"Please let me stay! I won't bother you at all. You can recite the verses up to the first or second part, but please, let me stay with you. 

 

*Sob*..." He pleaded and begged.

 

"Don't be stubborn, Kel." This time it was he who held his small hand. How could he bear to watch him sobbing uncontrollably?

 

"Please, I beg you."

 

"Stop crying, or I won't talk to you anymore," Gun said, because he didn't want to see someone as cheerful and bright as Kel sitting there sobbing like this.

 

A long time passed without anyone saying anything. Gun just listened as the sobs gradually subsided, while Kel tried his best to stop, even though tears were the only thing he could release. Gun told him to. He had to comply simply because he wanted to continue talking, to be close, to smell the scent of the person he used to hug.

 

"I'm not getting off," he wiped away his tears, trying to stifle his sobs.

 

"I can't hug you. I have to go back to my condo."

 

"No...Gun isn't the same." You could say he's being difficult or cold, and he'll accept it. He's given up on everything, just wanting this person to stay with him a little longer.

 

"Nothing has changed. I'm still the same person with the same feelings as you, who cries just like you. When I think back to our relationship, I realise... if we can't be together right now, I just have to wait. I told you I would wait, but I'm trying to keep it from getting out of hand. I need to restrain myself, because if it goes on like this, I won't be able to tolerate it anymore." His friends always say he's calm, but when it comes to Kel... he's hot-headed.

 

These were all the feelings after being rejected. Thinking about the consequences, he was so worried about the little one. He tried to remain calm, not rushing things, because their relationship was a secret. But if this secret ever came out, he was afraid people would condemn them and hurt their feelings even more. He himself wouldn't have a problem with the criticism, but what about Kel...?

 

"I'm worried about you," Kel said. "I've never worked in this field before. I've never had reporters constantly following me around. I've never encountered news that crosses the line of my privacy."

 

"I'm sorry, I'm not ready," the slender figure repeated the same words he had said before.

 

"You're not at fault. I know you're worried about me, too."

 

"Yes, I'm very worried."

 

"That's right, I have to learn to control myself. It's not that I won't wait." How could he not wait for someone he feels so much for? Someone he clearly and unequivocally said he wanted to take care of this person, his wife?

 

"Can I stay with you a little longer? Even just thirty minutes would be good. Please don't send me away."

 

"Sigh..." With that look in his eyes and that expression, he's really given up.

 

"Na"

 

"Then I'll take you up to your room. I'll wait until you're asleep before I leave." Did he think he wanted to be away? Did he think about someone who was sleeping soundly?

 

It must be just him, Gun, who misses his little manager terribly, even though they don't talk or spend much time together. He's showing a lot of patience in coping with that.

 

"Is it true?" Kel’s beautiful eyes looked hopeful.

 

"Yes," Gun nodded in response. At that moment, he saw Kel’s smile, a smile he hadn't seen in days. 

 

All the way up to the condo, the smaller figure was apprehensive, afraid the taller man wouldn't escort him to his room as promised. 

 

Walking ahead like this made him turn around. Looking back frequently, Gun was wearing a hoodie, faded jeans with slight rips at the knees, and expensive sneakers. He walked silently behind him with his hands in his pockets. Kel wanted to stop and take his hand, but he couldn't because it was a public area, and besides, he was afraid of being scolded.

 

Once they entered the room and closed the door tightly, the slender figure took an inch and wanted a mile. He refused to leave, remaining standing there, staring intently at the young model.

 

"Do you have anything else to say?" Gun asked, his face showing no sign of annoyance.

 

"No," Kel quickly said.

 

"Then go take a shower."

 

"But the listener shook their head, causing Gun to frown."

 

"What do you want?"

 

"I'm afraid Gun will leave first." Now the older one is acting so childish, as if he can't be alone.

 

"I told you I'd stay until you fell asleep," the taller man repeated, reassuring the other.

 

"Can you kiss me?" That's what he really wanted. The reason he was still standing there, not leaving, was that he missed the taste of Gun’s kiss. His sharp eyes couldn't help but gaze at those slender lips. He missed them, too.

 

"No? I want Gun to kiss me."

 

And then his patience snapped. His strong arms pulled Kel’s slender waist closer until they were pressed tightly together. He lowered his head and gazed deeply into his eyes.

Those brown eyes of the other person were tilted up, waiting for a kiss. They really wanted it to happen.

 

kiss!

Gun didn't kiss his lips, but instead chose to kiss his smooth forehead. He liked to do this when he felt worried. Kissing this area was as if he were the one caring for and protecting Kel, keeping him safe. "Go take a shower, Gun is waiting," a deep voice whispered.

 

Kel’s sweet face nodded repeatedly, as if under a spell. His heart softened when Gun was gentle, and he willingly pulled away from his embrace to comply. The small feet were about to step into the bedroom, but he turned back to look. He was clinging to the hope of staying with the young model until he fell asleep.

 

Kel had only wanted to take a three-minute shower, but he couldn't. He quickly lathered up the alluringly scented liquid soap, rubbing it all over his body, every nook and cranny. That's because he hoped Gun would stay over. 

 

What other way could Kel keep Gun company if he smelled this lovely scent? He desperately wanted to be hugged all night.

 

After finishing his shower, he put on a baggy pyjama set consisting of an oversized shirt and no pants, wearing only underwear. Let it be a little revealing. If the other person sees it and doesn't complain that it's too revealing, it means they're really not interested anymore. The shorter person walked outside. At first, they thought Gun had gone back, but upon closer inspection, they realised Gun was sleeping on the sofa, his feet sticking out a little, just enough to be seen.

 

Kel approached quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he was asleep. And as expected, both his eyelids were tightly closed. Moreover, his breathing was steady. He must be tired after a long day at work. I thought I didn't want to disturb him, but now my thoughts were completely different. I lifted my slender, pale legs and straddled the sleeping man.

 

"What are you doing?" Gun asked, his sharp eyes flashing with a hint of sternness.

 

"Waking you up," was all the reply, and he pursed his lips, feeling guilty.

 

"If you want to wake me up, call me nicely. Why are you sitting here?"

 

"Gun"

"..." He waited expectantly.

 

"I want to. Can you have me, please?"