PAYBACK BOOK 1.

Chapter 8.

Five stories is the number of screenplays I read while he was away. Now I have to start a new one, but I'm still stuck on the first page. To be honest, it feels exhausting. I'm sleepy. Today was an incredibly long day, filled with just as many events. I'm sitting comfortably on the sofa, lost in thought for a long time, as if I've unknowingly adjusted to that lunatic's office. My mind was a jumbled mess of images: the manager standing there with slumped shoulders, Han Soo's tears soaking the floor, the three trainees with contrasting emotions in the practice room, and Myungshin 's face. I needed the manager, and the manager needed An Soo. 

 

The reason the manager took me into his agency was that he already had Han-Soo, who perfectly matched his ideal image of an actor. Because Han Soo was there, he had to take on someone like me, who forced him to adapt to the reality of being an actor. And if Han Soo failed, the manager might fail as well. Anyway, Han Soo's camera phobia is a weakness that Myungshin will exploit someday. It might be fortunate that Han Soo is targeted first. But the key is how much endurance Han Soo can have. He probably won't spiral out of control, right? 

 

This is just the beginning. Because of this problem, I'm not afraid of the blonde and the kind-faced guy who will be openly watching me in the future. I just feel that those two are helping to shape the pieces of my plan. If Myungshin uses them, I'll just use them too. Unfortunately, that's a story that will unfold in the future.

 

I entered this field and took a few steps before I stopped short. I wasn't anxious; in fact, I was glad that problems arose. I was happy about the goal. Which I had to accomplish—a long, steep trajectory, breathless steps I took, knowing that the harder and longer the path, the more powerful my anger became, and the clearer my vengeance. I was now accustomed to enduring painful moments; perhaps, I even desired that pain.

 

"Is the homepage really that boring?"

 

I was jolted awake by the sudden question. Ah, that lunatic's here too. Realising this, I glanced up from the script I'd been holding for ages but couldn't concentrate on. So, he probably wanted to say something about the conversation he had with the boss, but instead, when he came into the room, he just turned on his computer and started working as if I wasn't even here.

 

"I don't know, I haven't read it yet."

 

As soon as I replied, he spoke in a languid voice while staring at the screen.

 

"Shall I refresh your memory? That's the kind of job a complete failure like you has to do."

 

If there was laughter or contempt hidden in his words, I might feel resistant and angry, but his tone was abrupt, as if he were treating an object. He didn't seem interested. Maybe I felt like a worthless fly in his face. I stared at him silently before hearing his next words.

 

"If you're getting angry, at least be useful."

 

"I thought my only benefit would be working alongside someone as terrifying as you," I said sarcastically, before he grinned and retorted casually.

 

"Not at all. But if you read me a children's story, I might be a little scared," he said, casually mentioning children's stories, which sent a wave of sadness overwhelming me.

 

"There are even more useful things you can do."

 

He glanced at my body with a weary look in his eyes.

 

"If you crawled over and gave me oral sex, I might feel a little better. Right now, all the blood is pooling down there, and it's stinging like hell."

 

"Don't talk nonsense."

 

I glared at him, wondering how much more nonsense he would spout, but he simply took his hands off the keyboard and leaned back in his chair, looking completely relaxed.

 

"Don't believe me? You're a man, you should know. Especially if there's someone who's arousing you, your mind will automatically imagine stripping that person naked. Being naked is normal, isn't it? And the most exciting part is I want to push you down when you're staring at me like that, and then ravish you right here in the office."

 

I felt a sudden chill run down my spine when I heard the abrupt tone of voice, accompanied by an indifferent stare. That damn bastard. I tensed my hand unconsciously, clenched my fist before averting he gaze back to the screen as if nothing had happened. 

 

Click, click.

I heard the keyboard typing again, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. I never even imagined myself becoming someone's sexual object. Or perhaps he was in a weaker position. I wondered if he said that just to scare me. Ironically, it worked on me to some extent, even if only for a fleeting moment, but I did feel genuinely frightened. Frustrated, I leaned my head back against the sofa to calm my raging emotions, and then, after a while, I heard a casual question.

 

"How many stories have you read?"

 

I looked at him instead of asking what he wanted, before shifting my gaze to the script piled on the table. He's really meticulously checking his homework, isn't he?

 

"Five stories"

 

"Which one is the most readable?"

 

"The third story"

 

When I answered without hesitation, he turned his gaze from the screen to look at me. Actually, I expected him to ask that question, because he always asks me. Even without asking, the third screenplay was really enjoyable, making me lose track of time for the first time. Once you get familiar with the format of a self-contained screenplay, you understand the content much better.

 

"Have you ever seen the movie version?"

 

"They're making it into a movie, too?"

 

He slowly curved his lips into a smile. I've always felt that smile suited him so well. Usually, when I see a guy smile, showing his dimples, I'd probably feel disgusted and curse him.

 

I went there, but I didn't feel that way, which made me even more frustrated. Even so, I felt uneasy about that smile, as if I were looking at a mask that had taken a very long time to perfect. Am I one of the few people who don't dare to smile back when he smiles? Or am I the only one?

 

"They made it into a movie, and it was a complete disaster."

 

My gaze automatically shifted to the table. The scripts I'd already read were stacked in layers on the table, separated from those I hadn't read yet. His explanation sounded like he was implying I'd answered incorrectly, so I tried to think of other topics. But after thinking it over carefully, everything except the third topic was boring. Then, a weary explanation began.

 

"The actors were terrible."

 

His eyes twinkled with amusement before he continued speaking.

 

"The lack of promotion is part of it, but even if the actors are well-known, their faces aren't enough to carry the movie. And the most important reason  the performance was terrible, too."

 

Suddenly, I felt like watching this movie. The script sounds pretty fun. But can the actors really ruin the movie? And what's the next explanation? He surprised me a little.

 

"The first film was forced to change its script. After that, the terrible actors made the movie a flop. That alone was enough to make the director decide to direct this film."

 

"This is the last one, isn't it?"

 

"Changed the script? Ah... I recalled what I had read earlier. The haphazard ending made the whole thing feel strange. Does that mean the rest of the script was written by the same person?" This question flashed through his mind, yet the feeling was too different to be true. Just as he felt certain, he mentioned the script he had left open on the first page.

 

"This is the film the director intended to shoot as his last."

 

"The movie we're about to film," I stared at the script in my hand as if I'd never seen it before, thinking how it would be if the changed ending had stayed true to the original. It's going to be fun, of course, judging by my standards, but it's still a pretty good film. Even I, someone not very experienced in filmmaking, found it interesting. But it's a shame that this will be his last directorial work.

 

Of course, even though it's just a script with only dialogue, and we don't know what it will turn out like if it's made into a movie... I'll stop thinking about it here. Perhaps it's because I've been practising reading scripts for weeks on end, but the words on the paper started to appear as blurry, three-dimensional images in my head. Suddenly, I was reminded of a similar-sounding film that I hadn't heard of before.

 

"The first short film I ever saw."

 

Let's talk about the movies I had marked as disliked back then. I stopped speaking at that point because it was just a vague feeling, but he waited for me to say the next sentence with a blank expression. I asked afterwards...

 

"Is it the same director?"

 

I was prepared to be laughed at if I made a mistake, but I received a completely unexpected response.

 

"You're really not boring at all."

 

"Look for?"

 

"I mean, you're cute. Not only do you diligently follow my instructions, but sometimes you even have a surprisingly animalistic sense." I glared at him with a stern look. Really? I thought he was just giving orders casually, even though I was giving him a look that would make anyone back away. He was kind of out of the loop, but he seemed to be having even more fun than before.

 

"I told you that strap-on was incredibly arousing."

 

"Damn," I cursed as I was about to get up from my seat, but he took off his glasses and mumbled something before I could.

 

"I'm dying to have you."

 

"I could kill you."

 

He tilted his head to the side when he heard the deep, low tone of my voice.

 

"Well, there are a few empty-headed fools who dare challenge me, those who are only interested in my outward appearance," he smiled slyly, as if to reveal what his own outward appearance was like.

 

"No one who knows me well enough to look at me as genuinely as you do. So you know, right?"

 

"You knew that?"

 

"You know how much I'm restraining myself and how much I cherish you."

 

I glanced at his smug smile before speaking in a low voice.

 

"How should I thank you for cherishing me, even though I'm completely useless?"

 

"It's alright. You're much cuter than I thought. I could have enjoyed looking at you. If you said you'd suck on mine without any remorse as revenge, I'd probably hold my breath for you."

 

"Do it once and then get him fired."

 

Those words reminded me of the room the blond guy had tricked me into. If I couldn't think of any other option at the time, I would have knelt before the middle-aged man with the protruding belly. Then I sucked on his smelly penis without any remorse, just like that lunatic said. Come to think of it, that feeling of willingly giving oral sex without any guilt, why didn't I feel that way with him? Because he was necessary for my revenge. I don't know if I showed my troubled expression too clearly, but a chilling smile appeared at the corner of his mouth when our eyes met.

 

"Don't worry. Just stay by my side, because I'm the one who will help you contact Director Yoon." 

 

As soon as the truth came out of his mouth, the heat in the room was washed away as if cold water had been suddenly splashed on them. Actually, it was an important issue...

Please double-check.

 

"Are you sure? How are you related to Director Yoon?"

 

"We're pretty close. But how are you going to tease Director Yoon when you meet him?"

 

"It's none of your business. Don't worry about it."

 

When I blurted it out, he smiled, showing his dimples.

 

"How can I ignore it? You already said you'd give yourself to me. If you're talking nonsense about giving yourself to Director Yoon again, do you think I wouldn't be furious?"

 

"I've only said that kind of nonsense once."

 

"So what are you going to do about Director Yoon?"

 

".."

 

"I asked how you were going to get him to be a sponsor."

 

I should have just brushed it off, but I hesitated. That guy has excellent intuition; if I made even the slightest mistake, he'd probably know the answer immediately. Therefore, I wanted to babble something, but I couldn't. And this time, the other party's words were exactly as expected. He narrowed his eyes at me before speaking my mind as if he had psychic abilities.

 

"You didn't really intend to get him to be a sponsor, did you?"

 

"..."

 

"Yes, that's true."

 

What’s with this guy?

 

He came to a clear conclusion even before I said a word. I secretly sighed, regretting over and over again that I shouldn't have gotten involved.

 

"Tell me, I'll keep it a secret."

 

I reluctantly opened my mouth when he urged me.

 

"Yes, I just make it look like he’s my sponsor."

 

"Are you trying to trick me?"

 

When I replied with "Hmm," he immediately narrowed his eyes.

 

"I got caught so quickly."

 

"I know. That's why I have to use it well. Just once, at the right moment, to defeat just one person is enough. Just being able to defeat Youngshin is all I need. What I have to do is create the right moment, even if it requires a lot of time. I have to do it slowly."

 

I tried to create a scene to deceive Youngshin just once. This was the best plan a nobody like me could come up with. It's obvious, isn't it? Besides that crazy guy with weird tastes, there's probably no other guy who'd like me. So I don't even think about flirting. Director Yoon told me from the start, "I'm not a young girl dreaming of being Cinderella, or an ambitious star relying on sponsors to achieve stardom. What I can do is invest my time and effort in digging traps to outsmart the other side."

 

I just want them to misunderstand that I'm Cinderella, who managed to clinch a good sponsor. I'm prepared for the possibility of being ridiculed for it being a cunning scheme. But strangely, the lunatic simply stared at me with an unreadable expression. When the silence fell for a long time, becoming tense, he spoke in a deep voice.

 

"You really think you can succeed, don't you?"

 

Of course. After being silent for so long, he's saying something so stupid?

 

"Do you think I'm some kind of idiot who goes on a rampage without thinking?"

 

"Yes, your plan to get revenge is like trying to move a big log with a twig. You have nothing, don't you?" His eyes narrowed as he looked at me.

 

"But you still have a trump card, huh? I'm starting to like you more and more." If I had a trump card, I'd throw it at you first. I frowned, while the other person just smiled nonchalantly. "Fine, I'll really help you."

 

I became even more annoyed by his serious tone because I felt like he was openly teasing me.

 

"Don't be so coy. You still need my services, don't you?" Knowing that he was determined to sabotage Myungshin's sponsor, I had no intention of being submissive. Of course, it wouldn't have any effect on him anyway.

 

"There are plenty of people who can replace you, but no one can replace me."

 

"If I don't get to see you, I'll go find someone else."

 

His eyebrow twitched slightly as he asked, "Who?"

 

"I don't know. A seventy-year-old who wants to give me oral sex, or a middle-aged man with a pot belly—anyone would do," I replied indifferently, a smirk playing on his lips.

 

"Anyone...but you'll probably need to befriend Director Yoon for your plan. Grab someone from the group and ask them if they know anyone who can introduce you. Could they? But I can help you with this. It means I'm the most important person." He added with a smile. "So, try flirting with me for real, and I'll eventually fall for you."

 

I admit that the crazy guy is necessary for me. Maybe he's the most important person, as he says. So I should be thankful he said I'd be swayed if he flirted with me. But I'm already feeling conflicted about him. Why do I only have these feelings for him? Only him.

 

The next day, I thought about him all the way to the company. The reason I wasn't too worried about the manager and Han-soo was that the manager who called didn't seem any different from normal. He said he'd find me some extra roles and small commercials. Although it sounded a bit strange, my manager had previously said that my acting skills were lacking and that I needed to take acting lessons before I could accept any work. Then I soon realised he must have overheard something from the company. Was this Myungshin's doing, too? It must be Myungshin. Ah, he's really good at creating trouble. 

 

I thought that as I started reading the script I'd secretly borrowed yesterday. I was a little curious about the final work of a director who'd made two flop films. Seeing him choose this as his last before quitting filmmaking, I wondered how good it would be. After flipping through a few pages, I unconsciously exclaimed, "Huh?" because the content bore a surprising similarity to my current situation. It was a subtle, unsettling feeling, too unsettling to be just a coincidence, and I couldn't easily take my eyes off it. I rechecked the content, so engrossed that I didn't even hear the manager on the phone nearby. Before I knew it, everything around me had gone completely silent.

 

When I glanced up, I saw the manager hunched over with a tense expression, as if he were flipping through an old notebook searching for a phone number. He paused to find the next person to call. He seemed to be concentrating, so I glanced back at the script before hearing the question.

 

"Aren't you going to ask?"

 

After a moment, he added, without taking his eyes off his notebook.

 

"The company said that if I want to renew the contract, I have to show them some tangible work," he grunted, flipping through several pages of a notebook as if he couldn't find a suitable number, before falling silent for a moment, his fingers tracing across his flesh. The man, like a labourer, fidgeted between the phone numbers on the paper before his hesitant fingertips settled on a hastily written number.

 

"If the job is a bit disappointing, will you be able to handle it?"

 

"I accept it."

 

He glanced up without taking his finger off the numbers.

 

"Im, you're good at everything!"

 

He complimented me with a smile, but I didn't smile back because his smile wasn't genuine; it was just a habitual curve of his lips. It was because of Han-Soo, huh...? 

 

Meanwhile, the manager made a call and began speaking in a friendly tone. "...Yes, I'm working at Dream these days. There's a new kid I auditioned who's absolutely amazing. He's good at everything... Him? No, not a singer. But he's an actor... You know they don't want unknown newcomers, right? Even so, could you find someone for me, Him? I've only known him for a year or two... Oh, and of course, he's incredibly good-looking! He's super photogenic, too. You know photographer P, right? He's been pestering him to do a photoshoot. That happens all the time."

 

The manager complimented the long, sleek hair on the other end of the line with a voice full of confidence, as if the other person might have some kind of odd job to offer. That was the manager's tone. Rising higher and higher, contrasting sharply with my own chillingly plummeting mood, I felt something was strange. The more I watched him, who had just hung up the phone and cheerfully reported work matters, the more that unsettling feeling took shape. Aside from the forced smile I sensed, he was acting far too normal, as if nothing had happened.

 

"The chairman oversees a lot of events. The only work I can do right now is general part-time jobs. Are you alright?"

 

"Drab"

 

"It's an easy job, not stressful, and not difficult at all. Like a beauty pageant in a shopping mall, you need someone to be the centrepiece to attract people's attention. Therefore, sometimes people are hired to infiltrate the competition as contestants. That's pretty much what you have to do. As for the date..."

 

"manager"

 

Just as I interrupted him, he, who was jotting something down in his notebook, glanced up.

 

"What about Han-soo?"

 

"..."

 

"Is Han-soo not coming today?"

 

"He's not coming."

 

He straightened up before adding indifferently. "He won't be coming anymore. He said he wants to quit this job."

 

Did I miscalculate? I'm confused and bewildered by the manager's indifferent reaction. Does he think I won't give up even without Han-Soo? Or...? He thought the manager was less attached to anyone than he initially thought. He wondered if it was possible to find another actor to fulfil Han-Soo's dream instead.

 

Even though I try not to think too much about it, there's still something unsettling me. It's gotten to the point where I think dealing with the situation with Han-Soo and the manager falling down together would be easier. It would probably be better for me, but I still can't find the reason why I'm uneasy. Because of this, I can't get Han-Soo out of my head. Luckily, this time I don't have to worry about acting class.

A few new trainees joined the class, replacing the sharp-featured and the unattractive ones. The blonde-haired and kind-looking ones said they were going to audition before disappearing. They've been absent from class; it looks like they've gotten something out of it while stalking Myungshin.

 

Once those who annoyed me were gone, I went somewhere else instead of Alice's Labyrinth, which I used to frequent after class. The university Han-soo attends is so prestigious that even I know about it. I only went to the university a few times, back when I was working as a delivery boy in the area. I've delivered goods to universities in that area before, but the clearer image in my memory is from an earlier event: when I went to collect money from a student while I was working at a loan company.

 

Speaking of that student from a prestigious university who's around my age, I don't know if he used to study as diligently as I did. I harassed him more than anyone else, oppressing and exploiting him in every way to extort money. I might have wanted to act tough and say, 'Look, in the end, you, who just lived your life as you pleased and continued your studies, are still under my control.'

 

Although he later paid off the debt, I behaved so badly that he was so humiliated he couldn't show up at university. At that time, I didn't feel guilty. Regarding his own work, it's his fault for borrowing the money in the first place, and he was just unlucky to meet me. There's no divine punishment in this world, but there is the law of karma. Even small wrong decisions can have negative consequences, sometimes so significant that they are uncontrollable. Back then, my mind was filled with arrogance and unintentional conceit. But now I know that fact very well, so even when I think about it, I don't feel anything about my past antics as a hooligan on campus. I just have to accept the consequences of my mistakes, like that student facing the tragic consequences of their own actions.

 

Even though I don't know how or in what way I'll get it back, I'm sure to pay the price for my actions. I've sacrificed too much. I'm aware of this simple fact, and what's interesting is that even knowing this, I haven't changed. I haven't stopped seeking revenge, even if it means paying the price, and I'll probably even use others if necessary to set traps for my revenge. I wondered why I'd wasted so much time showing up here, but that thought was pushed aside when I realised I would go find Han Soo. 

 

First, I went looking for him at the theatre, but when I found out he was at the university early in the morning because of an event, I arrived here late at night. Once inside the large university grounds, I easily found the classroom where Han-Soo studies, following the small signs for the Faculty of Communication Arts building. I could hear the voices of several people in the brightly lit room, as if some kind of event was taking place. The door was half-open, so I pushed it a little further and walked in. When a stranger appeared, everyone stopped talking and turned to look at me. I silently scanned the room, looking for Hanshu. Then one of the students asked me a question.

 

"Who are you?"

 

"Where is Lee Han-soo?"

 

"Han-Soo went out to buy some things a while ago. He'll probably be back soon."

 

I nodded in acknowledgement before saying to the student, "Tell him I'm waiting outside." As I turned to leave, I heard a question.

 

"Who should I say is here to see you?"

 

"...Lee Yoohan "

 

As soon as the door was closed, I could hear people whispering.

 

"Nothing really happened to Han-Soo, right? He suddenly invited me to drink and even volunteered to go buy the alcohol himself..."

 

How should I describe this place? The quiet, gloomy atmosphere is unsettling. This eerie silence, as if ghosts might appear, is a stark contrast to the vibrant, lively university during the day. The large, empty buildings and vast, park-like grounds seem to emphasise that this is merely a temporary space, an ownerless area where people come and go as needed, like a receding tide. Perhaps I feel this way because I'm not a university student. I just think it's incredibly lonely here, and I'm a stranger who shouldn't be here. 

 

I sit down. Sitting on the bench, feeling awkward as if I were wearing ill-fitting shoes, two hours had passed since Han-Soo said he'd be back, but he still hadn't. I considered going back to the dorm again, but I didn't, afraid of running into Han-Soo there. I hated the thought of being the one to approach him when he wouldn't show up because he didn't want to see me. Waiting for someone who didn't want to see me was just ridiculous. Just as I decided to get up after thirty minutes of daydreaming, I heard footsteps stop nearby. Han-Soo was standing, frowning, under the dim streetlights.

 

"Why are you still here?"

 

I watched Han-Soo standing a little distance away as he rose from his seat.

 

"I'm waiting for you."

 

"Why? No, isn't it clear that my not coming to see you means I don't want to see you? Just go back, or try calling me."

 

"I don't know your number."

 

Suddenly, his expression changed as if he were taken aback.

 

"You don't know my number, do you? Haha... Actually, you don't seem interested in me anyway," he muttered as if talking to himself before asking in an irritated tone.

 

"Why did you come all the way here to see me?"

 

His demeanour was completely different from the person who used to be always smiling and friendly, but I felt comfortable confronting these feelings with him. More than that, it seems he, who used to express a desire to be close to me, is now feeling awkward. I don't understand myself at all why, as soon as I realised this, I rushed here.

 

"I heard you're quitting acting. Is that true?"

 

After a moment of silence, Han-Soo's face turned grim.

 

"So you came to confirm this?"

 

"Why did you break up?"

 

This isn't the first time you've developed camera fear, is it? And you've known that for years, yet you've been preparing to be an actor, haven't you? I was about to add...

 

"Get out of here," he said coldly first.

 

"This has nothing to do with you, Lee Yoohan ."

 

".."

 

"If you're finished with your business, I'll go back inside now."

 

"Myungshin"

 

After I'd started, I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I really needed to say that much. But seeing Han-Soo staring at me with an indifferent expression, I continued speaking the rest.

 

"That's Myungshin's doing. He deliberately called the cameraman into the theatre to sabotage you."

 

"So what?"

 

"...."

 

"Even if he did that, it wouldn't negate the fact that I'm an idiot. And even if I were lucky enough to find someone who wanted an idiot like me, I wouldn't want him now. Or..."

 

"So you want me to get revenge as you did?"

 

My mouth froze, unable to move, as if paralysed by his question. Honestly, I thought Han-Soo would react if I mentioned Myungshin, but seeing his silence, I realised I knew absolutely nothing about him. No, I assumed I knew him. Not just Han-Soo; I assumed I knew the others too, and even thought I could guide them in the direction I wanted.

 

"An idiot like me probably can't get revenge. I don't have the ability to do that. So, stop paying attention to me and focus on your work. Go on. We're not that close, are we?"

 

I heard Han-Soo's last words especially clearly. Ah, that's right, we weren't close, were we? Because I never intended to become close to him from the start. Firstly, it's natural not to know him well enough.

 

"Goodbye."

 

Han-Soo said goodbye before turning around and walking away. The conversation that had lasted two hours ended in just a few minutes, but I don't think it was in vain. Looking around at the deserted area again, I finally understood. I was realising that Han-Soos’ situation was a result of my actions. If I hadn't decided to seek revenge, he might not have been hated by Myungshin to the point of being destroyed like this. Even though, in the end, the story was bound to end this way someday.

 

It was already evening. I was sure that the reason things happened so quickly was all my fault. The fact that I felt so responsible and cared for him... yes, because he was Han-Soo. I walked along, thinking about the awkward feeling I had when he introduced himself to me the first day we met. I guess I'm quite sensitive, aren't I?

 

I disappeared for a day before returning to Alice's maze. The club manager led me to the boss's office. I had a strange premonition that I had to call, so I was prepared for it. It looks like he's going to tell me to be nice to that crazy guy. More importantly, I intended to finish the conversation with the boss quickly because there's something I want to do. I asked the crazy guy another question, but after he greeted me with an unexpected first remark, I was speechless.

 

"Looks like you worked at the gas station today. So, have you planned this well?" He immediately read the question on my face, wondering what the plan was.

 

"Hey, what about revenge? Revenge! Aren't you supposed to crush that guy right now?!"

 

The boss clenched his fists, his anger boiling over.

 

"That's right, when are you going to crush it?"

 

"...after all preparations are complete."

 

In reality, I had a higher chance of being crushed, but I kept my feelings to myself because I felt that if I spoke up, they would start interfering in this, and that would be annoying. Luckily, the seething anger had disappeared from his face.

 

"Preparations, huh? So, you mean getting Director Yoon from Cream to be your sponsor, right?" When I replied "yes," he made a strange face. He'd done this once before. Why did he always react so strangely whenever Director Yoon was mentioned? And his lips were tightly pressed together, as if he were holding back his words.

 

"Do you have anything to say about Director Yoon?" I tentatively asked—before he could even clear his throat to cover up his surprise.

 

"Ahem, well, about what I wanted to say..."

 

He definitely had something he wanted to say. This time, when I narrowed my eyes and glared at him, he quickly averted his gaze and changed the subject.

 

"Uh... about Director Yoon, you should ask Jay. Oh, and if you want to get closer to Director Yoon, you should probably befriend Jay more. No, wait, only Jay..."

"Just a moment."

 

He said the same thing as that lunatic. It seems those two are really close.

 

"Have those two been friends for a long time?"

 

"...something like that."

 

"Something like that? Or are you related?"

 

"They're not relatives."

 

I saw him frown and look uncomfortable, so I asked him about what was bothering me.

 

"Are those two really close?"

 

"Absolutely! It's like they're the same person!" The older man raised his voice in a cheerful mood, then cleared his throat and lowered his voice after a moment.

 

"Ahem, well, I mean they're pretty close."

 

"...."

 

"Oh, I'm serious."

 

Hearing his high-pitched, strange voice, I suspected he was hiding something. I nodded to indicate I understood before casually asking him a question.

 

"It seems the boss is also close to Director Yoon."

 

"We're already close, aren't we? Director Yoon is..."

 

I wanted to hear who it was next, but the boss swallowed his words and quickly changed the subject.

 

"You'll find out later. But why didn't you come yesterday?"

 

Not only did that crazy guy check if I was absent, but now I have to get checked by my boss, too? I held my breath and replied that there was a small issue with someone close to me. Then he responded with something along the lines of, "It's not a big deal."

 

"So, you had a conflict with someone on your side, but they told you to ignore it, right?"

 

"Moreover, today..."

 

"How did you know?"

 

I asked in a harsh tone without realising it. Actually, I felt a little uneasy. His thoughtless words had struck a nerve, hitting me where it hurt. That's fine, but the boss still kept talking as if he didn't consider it important.

 

"Well, you said someone close to you is having problems, and Two Hundred Won isn't the type to care about everyone. Besides, you probably don't know how to speak gently to others."

 

"So, the result is pretty obvious, isn't it? The other party, feeling uncomfortable, told you to ignore it and cut ties with you, right?" He explained quickly, as if bored, before adding listlessly.

 

"It was pretty predictable, wasn't it? There's nothing to it, is there? Go pay more attention to my Jay," he said, handing me a business card.

 

"Go over there, Jay's waiting. By the way, are you a good drinker? Jay has a low tolerance, just like his innocence. It seems like they're into drinking there. Why don't you drink in his place, sit right next to him, and make sure no one else touches him? Try holding hands, hugging, and use this opportunity to get a little closer, okay?"

 

I ignored the boss, who was smiling and muttering nonsense about how innocent that guy was, because I guess I knew he was too difficult to deal with to be considered a person. He's just plain crazy, so I couldn't ignore his intention in giving me his business card. Even though the boss shed tears over my story and was so grateful, he offered to help, but he really wanted me to approach that lunatic? And besides, I'm a man, aren't I?

 

"Why are you so determined to have me, a man, approach Jay, whom you're so protective of?"

 

If he had replied, "Because I wanted to help you," I might have been so upset I'd jumped up from my seat. But the boss didn't respond like that. He just blinked. His eyes seemed to be asking me why I didn't know about this.

 

"Why? Because you're the one Jay's interested in."

 

"Does it matter if I'm a man?"

"Of course. This is the first time in five years that Jay has shown any interest in anyone. Even if the other person was an old man with dentures, I would still cry. Congratulations! So, even if you're just a rotten rope, you still have to grab onto it, right?"

 

Am I...a rotten rope?

 

"Jay, if anyone tries to approach him, he'll either ostracise them from society or trample them until they're too afraid to leave their house. You two-hundred-won guy... you're the first person he cherishes so much that he's even allowed you into his private workspace."

 

I was confused when I heard the word "cherish" for the second time. Have I misunderstood its meaning?

 

"And besides, after hearing your story, I have to help you. It's not like I'm smitten or anything like that," he tried to look up, but tears were already welling up in his eyes.

 

"And I liked your personality."

 

"You've only met me a few times, haven't you?"

 

"Ah, that's the one I like. What a waste!"

 

"Normally, when someone offers to help, people would seize the opportunity and use it quickly. But you asked for the reason first, didn't you? You were so blunt that the other person got annoyed."

 

"Because I know nothing in this world is free. That's why I don't understand," the boss smiled again, but this time it was a chilling smile, different from before. This time, I was sure it resembled the smile of that lunatic.

 

"Two hundred won"

 

Although I heard a warm and gentle voice calling my name, I only trusted the other person's eyes, who didn't smile. It was as if the question echoing in my ears was a grain of sand. It gradually spread inside.

 

"Do you believe that people can change themselves?"

 

"No."

 

I answered without hesitation, and a satisfied smile spread across the boss's face.

"I think so too. People can't change themselves. That's why even if you, a former notorious gangster, were to turn your life around...But your true nature hasn't changed at all. How can you even think about revenge? If you had really changed, you wouldn't want revenge."

 

"If I haven't changed, then you should definitely avoid me..."

 

"The person I believe won't change isn't you."

 

Suddenly, I snapped back to reality as if I'd been doused in cold water. The boss, seeing that I understood, let out a bitter laugh.

 

"I hope Jay can truly smile again like he used to."