In Love With An Idiot

Chapter 7: Team Lunch

Having lunch with your department colleagues was a nice enough activity, but I was tense as hell. People in the other departments worked together and saw each other every day, so it was easy for them. But I sat there looking gormless by the entrance. How was I supposed to be close to the executives’ secretaries all the way up on the top floor?

 

I was close to those two brothers, Ern and Erng, but it wasn’t just the three of us. I felt awkward about everything. The activities department announced the lunch arrangements, then the secretary to Tycoon Achi sent an internal email to our little group—P’Ern, P’Erng, their two secretaries and me—saying we were going out for Chinese food.

 

Even from a distance, I could picture P’Erng’s irritated face at the choice of restaurant. P’Ern liked fish maw soup and shark fin soup in brown sauce, but P’Erng wouldn’t touch either. He said they were slimy and disgusting. He didn’t like thick sauces or broths, like the gravy on noodles or fish maw soup.

 

At noon sharp, I hurried to the executives’ car park. Khun Nid, P’Ern’s secretary, had already called to arrange things because I didn’t have a car. Normally, I didn’t drive to work anyway, and now mine was in the garage, so I had to go with them.

 

“Pei, wait here and go with the chairman, all right? Khun Ta and I will head to the restaurant first. I’m not sure whether they’ve got our table ready.”

 

“I can go with you and Khun Ta.”

 

“The chairman gave us these instructions. Shall we go, Khun Ta?”

 

I already knew Khun Nid and Khun Ta. They knew I was one of the youngsters from the Araya household, but we weren’t close. Usually, I had no reason to contact either of them, except on the day Khun Ta came to discuss my contract.

 

After I’d stood there waiting in confusion for a while, P’Ern came out with P’Erng. I was more used to seeing P’Ern in his clothes at home or in his doctor's clothes at the hospital. Today, though, he was wearing a black suit like P’Erng.

 

“Hello, P’Ern. P’Erng.”

 

“Have you been waiting long, Pei? Someone’s been whining about wanting to change restaurants. But the cabbage stir-fried with fish sauce here is delicious.”

 

“Other restaurants have it too. Don’t you ever get sick of Chinese food? Acting like you’re eating it to copy your banker.”

 

“Who says? I’m eating cabbage to copy Pei.”

 

Just as I’d expected, the brothers were arguing over the restaurant. P’Ern winked at me, put an arm round my neck and led me to the passenger side of P’Erng’s car.

 

“Hurry up and unlock it, Erng. Pei’s hungry. He’s already so skinny. You haven’t been feeding him properly.”

 

“You’re taking the piss, P’Ern.”

 

P’Ern ignored his younger brother’s complaint and tapped playfully on the car window instead. Sometimes he really was as annoying as P’Erng said. Once the car was unlocked, I was bundled into the passenger seat, with P’Ern opening the door for me.

 

“See you at the restaurant.”

 

“Aren’t you coming with us?”

 

“After lunch, I’m skiving off and going home to sleep.”

 

Then he shut the door and got into the car beside us. P’Ern liked driving sports cars, while P’Erng’s choice depended on his mood. All the men in this family drove fast, but they never had accidents. I was the only one who drove like a tortoise and still managed to crash.

 

“Hello, Milan. What is it? I’m on my way to lunch… Not today. There are several of us going, so it wouldn’t be convenient for you to come. I’ll take you out separately instead. Whatever you fancy… Really? You’ll get fat if you eat too much. Weren’t you complaining that your face looks round on camera?”

 

Why the hell did I have to sit here listening to P’Erng’s love life? So annoying! Go and be lovey-dovey somewhere far away! It stinks! Ugh, ugh, ugh!

 

That was how I felt inside, anyway. I couldn’t show any of it. All I could do was sit there and endure it.

 

And I endured it all the way to the restaurant. He hung up just as he turned in to park, then acted as though nothing had happened. Yeah, nothing had happened. I was the only one getting irritated, and I was trying very hard to be patient. I thought perhaps my emotions would only be all over the place for a little while. Eventually, it would pass. One day, I’d stop feeling anything about P’Erng.

 

“You’re frowning, Pei. Come on. Let’s eat.”

 

P’Ern walked over with a smile and put an arm round my shoulders to lead me inside.

 

“Pei, come here first. You go on ahead, P’Ern.”

 

“What if I won’t let him?”

 

“P’Ern. It’s not funny.”

 

P’Erng suddenly looked irritated. He probably still hadn’t got over having to eat Chinese food.

 

“Possessive over something you’ve already given up, are you? I’ll wait inside, Pei. If Erng bites, shout loudly. I’ll come and save you.”

 

I told you these brothers shouldn’t eat together. I didn’t know what they were arguing about. P’Erng looked ready to bite P’Ern’s head off, while P’Ern was still wearing a smile I couldn’t decipher.

 

“Where do you want me to go, P’Erng?”

 

“Your hair’s a mess. It’ll be embarrassing if you go in like that.”

 

Huh… How had my hair got messed up?

 

P’Erng brushed it into place a few times, then put an arm round my shoulders and walked me into the restaurant. Khun Nid had reserved a private room. There was a round table covered with dishes. When P’Erng saw the bowls of shark fin and fish maw soup, he sighed so heavily that everyone smiled. Only P’Ern remained completely unbothered.

 

The round table seated eight. Everyone had deliberately left the two chairs beside P’Ern empty, and another beside P’Erng. I’d left a chair between P’Ern and me for P’Erng so the brothers could sit together. But no, he sat on my other side instead. Khun Ta and Khun Nid left another empty seat between themselves and him.

 

“I’ll get you some steamed snow fish, P’Erng.”

 

Better appease the angry one first. If a war broke out, none of us would get to eat. The dishes Khun Nid and Khun Ta had ordered were all delicious, especially the snow fish steamed with soy sauce.

 

“Your cabbage, Pei. Eat it all.”

 

P’Ern took a plate of stir-fried cabbage off the lazy Susan and gave the whole thing to me. There were two plates. Everyone else shared one, while I had the special privilege of having the other all to myself.

 

“Do you want some, P’Erng?”

 

“Put a little on my plate.”

 

Actually, apart from the fish maw and shark fin soup, P’Erng liked the other dishes. The roast suckling pig was delicious, and so was the roast duck. He loved both.

 

Once we started eating, the others began talking about work. I couldn’t follow all that management and investment stuff. How was I supposed to understand it? I worked in public relations. All I knew were everyone’s extension numbers.

 

Nobody paid much attention to me, P’Ern included. Once he’d given me my cabbage, he did nothing but talk business. Only P’Erng kept picking up this and that and putting it on my plate while he talked. When I couldn’t eat fast enough, he glanced down and took some back onto his own plate.

 

“I’ve already bitten that piece.”

 

“It’s fine. Khun Ta, have we agreed whether we can build those pool villas on Koh Tao?”

 

And then he put more duck on my plate. I hadn’t finished what was already there. I wanted to protest, but I couldn’t interrupt their work discussion. I kept my head down and ate. My plate filled up again, and P’Erng took some of it again.

 

What kind of cycle was this?

 

“Erng, look into a location for me too. I’m going to expand the hospital.”

 

“Have you decided you never want to sleep again?”

 

“When you’ve got someone to cuddle in bed, you can sleep perfectly well. Irritable people who get up and wander around at midnight wouldn’t understand. Right, Pei?”

 

“Sorry?”

 

“Ha… You’ve eaten until your cheeks are bulging. Good. You’ll put some weight on. So how did you end up moving into my department? Normally, when the four of us have lunch together, I can barely eat. I’m sick of looking at Erng.”

 

“I don’t know either. They said they didn’t know which department to put me in, so P’Erng had me join yours.”

 

“Then you don’t need to sit in front of the lifts anymore. Move up and sit outside Erng’s office with Khun Ta.”

 

Oh… Perhaps P’Ern disagreed with putting a public relations employee in the management department. I didn’t agree with it either, but I wasn’t the one making the decisions.

 

“I thought it was a bit strange too.”

 

“Yes, so do I. Strange that you have to sit in front of the lifts. Aren’t they worried someone passing by might pick you up and carry you off?”

 

“There’s nothing expensive at my desk. Just two telephones and me. I look after the phones very carefully. HR said it’s difficult to get replacements approved if they break, so I have to take care of them.”

 

“Sigh… What a worry. How did anyone let you out of the house? Want more cabbage, Pei?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

P’Ern laughed and ordered another plate of stir-fried cabbage for me. It really was delicious. Normally, I only ate it boiled. Perhaps I should learn to stir-fry it. I’d look up a recipe on Google.

 

“If you weren’t in the management department, which department do you think you should be in?”

 

“Security, perhaps. I’d guard those lifts with my life. Hahaha!”

 

“What do you say, Erng? Pei wants to transfer. Can he?”

 

“Not this year. The restructuring’s already finished. Wait another two or three years. If they restructure again, he can move then.”

 

“Looks like you’ll have to let Erng and me feed you for another two or three years, Pei. We have a company sports day too, you know. You’ll have to compete for the management department. They hold a three-legged race every year, and Erng’s never helped me win.”

 

“Hah. Who fell flat on his face before anyone else last year and dragged me down with him?”

 

They were arguing again… How had Araya survived with these two squabbling so often? Or did they enjoy taking digs at each other as a hobby?

 

“Er… Okay.”

 

“I have high hopes for you, Pei. Our department’s never won anything. We can’t even enter all the events. We can’t do the women’s relay because we’ve only got Khun Nid. And she’s the only one for the women’s 100 and 200 metres too, so we have to withdraw from some events. We’re afraid she’ll faint. Very disappointing.”

 

“Oh, boss! I’m a human being, not a robot that can stand out in the sun all day!”

 

“I’ll win for you, P’Ern. Trust me. We’re definitely going to win. For the honour of the management department, I’ll give it my all. I’m good at three-legged races.”

 

“What a load of bullshit. Who entered a badminton competition at university, fell over, scraped his leg and called me to come and get him? You fell over playing badminton, and now you’re going to run a three-legged race?”

 

“Don’t listen to Erng. If you win, I’ll give you a special reward. Your cabbage has arrived just in time. My athlete should start eating his fill today so he’ll have the strength to compete. Getting a head start on eating is an advantage.”

 

Everyone laughed along with P’Ern. When he wasn’t discussing work, he was fun to talk to. His smile made people want to chat with him, although sometimes it also made you feel a little frightened and suspicious.

 

“Do you buy lottery tickets too, P’Erng?”

 

On my day off, I’d come over early to do P’Erng’s laundry. With my hair tied in a little topknot, I’d been scrubbing his shirts in the utility room at the side of the flat. His place was huge. Not only did it have two floors, but it also had a small maid’s room tucked away in one corner and a utility room, like the washing area in an ordinary house, complete with drains. When I came out for a drink of water, I found a set of lottery tickets on the dining table.

 

“Mm. I didn’t plan to buy them. I stopped for petrol and an elderly seller came over. It was the last set, so I bought it.”

 

One look at P’Erng’s numbers told me they weren’t among the lucky numbers for this draw. His set of twenty tickets wasn’t going to win. This time, it had to be my numbers.

 

“You bought tickets too, Pei?”

 

“Heh… Two. Just in case I win first prize.”

 

“Are you going to win?”

 

He smiled, then took my glass to fill it with drinking water. His hair was still sticking up all over the place because he’d only just woken up. As usual, he was wearing nothing but his pyjama bottoms. The man who felt the heat more than anyone else in the neighbourhood. I couldn’t tell whether his air-conditioned bedroom was a bedroom or a mortuary.

 

It was fucking freezing.

 

“One of these draws has to be mine. Come on.”

 

“Want them? You can have mine.”

 

“No. They won’t win.”

 

“What if I do?”

 

“No chance. Your numbers definitely won’t win. I’ve got inside information.”

 

“Suppose I do win.”

 

“Then I’ll go a whole week without eating cabbage.”

 

He laughed and said I’d probably die of misery first. Once he’d finished his water, P’Erng went back upstairs to sleep. On his days off, he slept like a lion. That was good. Better than having him stare at me and leaving me unsure how to behave.

 

Yes, we could talk… but I could feel a certain distance between us. P’Erng probably felt it too. By the time the lottery draw began, I’d finished everything I needed to do, so I hurriedly got out my tickets. My two tickets had to win! I was hoping for the last two digits prize, but if I won something bigger, that would be fine too.

 

“Has the draw started? Have I won yet?”

 

“You’re not going to win, P’Erng.”

 

Freshly showered and smelling lovely, P’Erng sat beside me. It was funny, really. Who would have thought I’d one day be watching the lottery draw with him? Normally, he liked watching American series, and I watched along. He had the subscription; I was just tagging along.

 

I stared at the television with such determination that P’Erng laughed. I didn’t care. I was going to be rich. I’d never been this confident.

 

“Want some popcorn? You’re so excited you’re getting me excited too.”

 

“No. It might throw the numbers off.”

 

P’Erng’s laughter didn’t irritate me because I had to concentrate on something important. The prizes were announced one after another. And I won the last-two-digits prize!!!

 

I turned and shouted at P’Erng. The first lottery win of my life! I’d won four thousand!!!

 

But P’Erng frowned and picked up his own set of tickets. His eyes widened, and he handed them to me. I’d only looked at the last two digits of his numbers before. But… this was… A lot.

 

Holy fucking shit! P’Erng had won second prize!!!!

 

His entire set of twenty tickets had won second prize!!!!

 

Two hundred thousand per ticket. Twenty tickets!

 

Why couldn’t it have been meeee? Why hadn’t I taken his tickets when he offered them? Fuuuck!

 

Four fucking million!

 

If it had been me instead of P’Erng, I could have paid off all my debts and been free. But P’Erng had won four million! For an executive of the Araya Group, four million wasn’t even—

 

“What should I do with the money?”

 

I was gutted! I messaged Pong on LINE, utterly dejected. Fuck. I’d won four thousand. P’Erng had won four million. I could practically smell the laundry detergent already.

 

Keep washing those clothes, Pei.

 

“Don’t look so glum. Shall I take you out for something to eat?”

 

“I buy tickets every draw… This sucks.”

 

“But you won, didn’t you?”

 

“Why did your numbers win second prize? It’s so unfair. And now I can’t eat cabbage either.”

 

“I’ll let you off that to cheer you up. You don’t have to give up cabbage.”

 

“Waaah.”

 

He rocked my head from side to side and laughed. P’Erng was so bloody annoying.

 

He took me out for steak at his favourite restaurant in Thong Lo to console me. I was happy enough with a free meal, but I still hadn’t got over the lottery. P’Erng must have told his friends about it in their LINE group, because people kept calling. Mostly, they sounded astonished. His whole group was rich, so nobody was calling to borrow money.

 

Unlike me. I’d won four thousand and had to keep it quiet. I could only tell Pong. I’d once lent a friend five hundred, and no matter how many times I’d asked for it back, he still hadn’t returned it to this day. I remembered getting upset and complaining to P’Erng, so he’d given me a thousand.

 

But it still bothered me! Why would someone be willing to lose a friend when they were the one who’d borrowed money in the first place? I didn’t understand!

 

Speaking of money, P’Lom really had called me yesterday while I was in the car on the way back from lunch with P’Ern and P’Erng. I was scared he’d demand money, just as P’Erng had warned, so I pretended I was terribly busy. I said I had to go to screen auditions as someone who hadn’t yet properly established himself in the industry, and that I’d have an older relative contact him instead. Then I sent his number to P’Erng to handle.

 

P’Erng said P’Lom had demanded another 500,000 on top of the insurance payout. Did a tiny bump to a BMW really cost five hundred thousand to repair? My debt had shot from three million to three and a half million faster than the speed of light. Thank goodness I’d let P’Erng deal with it. Otherwise, I’d have completely lost it.

 

“Want some wine? Drown your sorrows.”

 

Look. Look at him. What a bloody piss-take.

 

“No. I’ll get drunk. You shouldn’t get drunk either, P’Erng. You won’t be able to drive home.”

 

“True. I wouldn’t dare let you drive either.”

 

He really had to rub it in, didn’t he?

 

But P’Erng ordered wine anyway. I kept eating, and reading Pong’s LINE messages only made me feel worse. He seemed so happy for me over my four-thousand-baht win. And I would have been happier too, if I hadn’t just missed out on four million!

 

In the end, my irritation made me drink wine with P’Erng. Fuck. I was so annoyed!

 

“Drink slowly.”

 

“I’m going to drink until you’re broke. Just you wait.”

 

“You’ll be face down drunk long before I go broke.”

 

“This sucks… I was so close to being rich. Sigh.”

 

“Will you ever get rich waiting for the lottery? You’re drunk, Pei. Didn’t you say you didn’t want to get drunk?”

 

“I do want a rich boyfriend. Then I can take a shortcut to being rich. But Pong won’t introduce me to his friend. His friend’s soooo rich. He’s got seven gold shops. This wine’s delicious.”

 

“Want another bottle, then? Huh. Just gold shops? Don’t you know Araya has diamond shops too?”

 

“Yesssss.”

 

“You drunken cabbage. You can get drunk with me. Don’t get drunk with anyone else.”

 

“Can’t you give me the four million, P’Erng? Then I’d have money to pay you back. Four million’s only a little bit. Give it to me, pleeease.”

 

“It’s better if you stay in debt to me for the rest of your life. So deep in debt you can’t get yourself out. Nowhere to go except to stay wi…”

 

What was P’Erng saying? Was he telling me off? I hadn’t done anything. I was only drinking wine. I wasn’t even drunk yet… But P’Erng was so handsome. My golden cabbage was so handsome…

 

What a shame. Milan had stolen my cabbage. I wanted him back, but I didn’t know what I could possibly use to compete with Milan. Better to let him go… Then I wouldn’t have to get hurt.