In Love With An Idiot

Chapter 6: New Job

I ate without really tasting anything. I wanted to ask P’Erng about what he’d said before going out to answer his phone, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. P’Erng acted as though nothing had happened. He kept putting sashimi on my plate as usual, fiddling with his phone as he ate, without meeting my eyes.

 

“P’Erng…”

 

“Yes, Milan? I’m having dinner… Are you on set? You do like complaining, don’t you? Just quit acting and let me look after you. Problem solved.”

 

It felt as though someone had stabbed a chopstick into my throat and killed me right there in the Japanese restaurant. My pathetic little hopes vanished along with the salmon. Once Milan called, P’Erng chatted, ate and laughed all at once, while I couldn’t swallow another bite.

 

What did it matter whether P’Erng had left me or I’d left P’Erng, when he already had Milan? Even if they weren’t together yet… perhaps they were getting close to it. As for me, I’d been trying to come to terms with things for a while. We’d each gone our separate ways… so… so why keep thinking about what had already happened?

 

And my fucking life went straight back into the same old loop: coming home and crying in bed. I wasn’t hung up on P’Erng and Milan. What still bothered me was us. How exactly had we ended? Why had P’Erng said I’d left him? Why had he said he was heartbroken?

 

Was it wrong to want to know why we’d broken up? And who the hell was I supposed to ask? P’Erng? What if he asked me why I wanted to know?

 

We couldn’t go back to the way we’d been anyway. As if being heartbroken wasn’t enough, I’d be offering him another chance to rub salt in the wound.

 

But however miserable I was, however much I cried my eyes out, I still had to carry on living as a rising star—or that was what Pong called me. He’d found me another job after my appearance on that programme made me more well known. Someone had even dug up my past and posted it online. At least the public finally knew I’d once been a campus Cute Boy.

 

My new job looked a little classier, a step up from the last one. I didn’t have to dress as a ghost anymore. I actually got to show my face, and there was even a costume team to take care of my clothes, hair and make-up. I was playing a motorcycle taxi driver.

 

I couldn’t ride a motorbike, but the role was a foul-mouthed driver with his hair tied back off his face and a pair of battered flip-flops. I had to wolf-whistle and tease passing women alongside the other drivers, who were played by comedians.

 

“Give it everything you’ve got, kid.”

 

Of course, as a new actor—if you could call me that—I didn’t have any jokes of my own. All I could do was nod along and copy their cheeky expressions, playing the sidekick or something like that. Then I collected my money and went home.

 

Going out to work also meant I got some driving practice. I was still crap at it, keeping close to the edge of the road and taking things slowly. But I thought I’d improved a little, enough to feel confident about moving into the middle lane. I pressed the accelerator… And crashed.

 

It shouldn’t have happened. But the lights had just turned red, and the car in front didn’t keep going. It braked suddenly, and I was such a hopeless driver I might as well have bought my licence. I went straight into it. My little eco car had hit a luxury BMW.

 

I was definitely going to get shouted at. He was absolutely going to tear into me, so I hurriedly put on a miserable face and stood by the roadside, trying to make myself as small as possible.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

The moment he got out, I raised my hands in a wai. Waaah. The BMW wasn’t even dented, but my car was. Just what you’d expect from a ridiculously expensive BMW.

 

“Sigh… Call your insurer. You do have insurance, don’t you?”

 

“Yes… Oh! P’Lom!”

 

“Hmm? Oh, the kid who sang out of tune?”

 

The person I’d crashed into was the singer from that famous rock band—the one unlucky enough to have picked me to sing with him. What a small world. Once he recognised me, he looked a little less irritated.

 

“Let’s park at the condominium up ahead. We’re holding up traffic here.”

 

“Yes…”

 

The condominium up ahead happened to be mine, so that was where we went to call our insurers. And that was how I discovered P’Lom lived there too. Calling him P’Lom didn’t mean I was trying to pretend we were close, by the way. The whole country called him that. It was like calling someone P’Bird even though he was older than your dad.

 

“How were you driving? Weren’t you watching the road? Good thing nobody got hurt.”

 

“Heh… I couldn’t brake in time. Thank you for not making a fuss.”

 

I had first-class insurance, so there wasn’t a problem. P’Lom was smiling now. He seemed pleased to know someone else would be paying for a fresh paint job. Luckily, I didn’t get shouted at. I must have had some good karma left.

 

“Where were you heading, then… What was your name again? I can’t remember. I only remember that ghost face. If you hadn’t shaken your head until the covering fell off, I probably wouldn’t have recognised you.”

 

“I was coming here. My flat’s in this building.”

 

“Oh. Mine’s in that building.”

 

The rich people’s building, exactly like P’Erng. It wasn’t surprising. He was famous nationwide and had a big concert coming up. Even I knew about it, and I wasn’t a fan.

 

“Well, if everything’s sorted, I’ll be going.”

 

“Let me have your number. There might be other damage to my car…”

 

I hurriedly took his phone and entered my number. I was terrified he’d post online about how irresponsible I was. Then the entire country would be slagging me off. I’d be publicly condemned and never dare leave home again.

 

“Of course.”

 

“Your LINE too.”

 

“Yes, yes.”

 

“And your flat number.”

 

“Are you that worried I’ll run away?”

 

Perhaps I looked a bit too poor, so he thought I wouldn’t pay up. He was right, but only halfway. I was poor, but I’d definitely pay. I was scared of being condemned by the whole country.

 

“I’m joking. So, what’s your name? You still haven’t told me.”

 

“Bao Pei. You can call me Pei.”

 

As soon as I got back to my flat, I googled P’Lom. Mr Wayu Pharin, nicknamed Lom, liked collecting cars. His latest purchase was a BMW. The very same one I’d just crashed into.

 

Shit! No wonder he’d asked for my number and LINE and had even wanted to come to my flat. What had I done to deserve this? I hadn’t finished paying off my old debt, and now I had car trouble on top of it. His car seemed fine. Mine was the one that had to be towed to a garage. But the insurance should pay, shouldn’t it?

 

Or was it over the cover limit? I didn’t even know what my limit was. P’Erng had handled everything. Should I call him? I didn’t understand any of it. But if I called, would he even want to see me? Would I be bothering him?

 

Better call Pong.

 

“Hello, Pei? I’m busy. Sorry. I’ll call you back.”

 

You bastard! I was already stressed enough, worrying that P’Lom would threaten me and demand compensation. I’d never done anything wrong before. The first time I did, I became completely paranoid. Lomm: [Pei? Are you asleep yet?]

 

Fuuuuck. He was definitely messaging to chase me for money. I wasn’t answering. No way. I wasn’t ready.

 

I rushed to get my bank book and check my savings. There were millions in there—the money P’Erng had put into my account every month until things between us ended. How much did it cost to repair a BMW? The insurer still hadn’t said whether I’d have to pay anything extra. Lomm: [I wanted to ask you about the insurance.]

 

I don’t know! Waaah!

 

I’d call P’Erng first. Whether I was bothering him or not, I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t know who else to call.

 

“Hello, Pei?”

 

“P’Erng… What do I do? I crashed the car. I’m scared.”

 

“Wait, Pei. Where are you? Calm down. Are you hurt? I’ll come to you. Have you called the insurer? You can call the police too. Are there any police nearby?”

 

“No…”

 

There was only a bowl of cabbage, my bank book and the insurance documents I couldn’t understand.

 

“You can call the emergency rescue service, or try 191 first. Call them now. Where are you?”

 

“P’Erng, it’s not like that. I’m in my flat. I… I’m just frightened. I crashed and called the insurer, but his car’s expensive. I’m scared the insurance won’t pay, and I don’t know what to do. He’s messaged me on LINE to ask for money too. He’s a singer, P’Erng. Will he slag me off online? His fans will come and kill me.”

 

“Pei… Come and see me.”

 

“Okay.”

 

I bundled my belongings into a bag and hurried over to P’Erng. People could say I couldn’t look after myself if they wanted. Whenever I had a problem, I consulted him about everything. Even now that we’d separated, I still couldn’t turn to anyone else. Pong was busy, so all I had was P’Erng…

 

Fuck, that was so sad. Why did he have to be my one and only?

 

When I saw him, he cupped my face in both hands and turned it from side to side, then turned me round to check the rest of me. After that, he hooked an arm round my neck and walked into the lift with me.

 

“How did you crash?”

 

“The lights had just turned red, and I couldn’t brake in time. It happened right outside the condominium… He lives in your building too. Will he call the police to arrest me?”

 

“Nobody died. You’re not going to be arrested. Let me see the LINE messages where he’s asking you for money.”

 

“Here. Look, P’Erng. I haven’t answered yet. I’m scared that if I say I haven’t got any money, he’ll call the police.”

 

“You’re overthinking it, Pei. Why do you smell like soup? Have you been boiling cabbage again?”

 

P’Erng lowered his face and sniffed at my head. Was this really the time? I was stressed out, and he was asking about cabbage. He didn’t even like eating it. Well, at first he’d eaten it with me, but I’d made it so often he’d got sick of it.

 

“But I like it.”

 

“Your face is getting so round you’re turning into a cabbage yourself.”

 

He said it with a smile. Once we reached his flat, P’Erng helped me look through the insurance paperwork. He said my cover limit wasn’t particularly high. It might be enough to repaint the BMW, but if it needed more than paintwork, he wasn’t sure.

 

“If it goes over…”

 

“I’ll pay the difference.”

 

“But I feel bad. I already owe you so much.”

 

“Then come and do my washing and ironing. I’ve been sending it to a shop lately… It doesn’t smell as nice as when you did it. They’ve mixed someone else’s clothes in with mine too. Two of my shirts have gone missing.”

 

P’Erng shook his head, looking annoyed. His shirts weren’t cheap, either. He wore designer brands from head to toe. Two missing shirts probably cost my entire month’s salary. He hated having his clothes washed together with other people’s as well.

 

Mr Achitphon Araya was kind, yes, but very particular. Auntie Phon and Auntie Si had told me when I first moved in with the Araya family that both P’Ern and P’Erng were fussy. It was how executives were: everything had to be precise and thorough. Whatever you did, you had to do it carefully. Better that than having the tycoon and the young master get irritated.

 

“All right…”

 

“I’ll have Khun Ta sort out the insurance. You don’t need to get involved. This man sounds like a bully. The insurer hasn’t even told us anything, and he’s already chasing you for money. Just block him. Give me his number and LINE. I’ll send them to Khun Ta.”

 

“Okay… But I don’t have his number. He’s got mine.”

 

“If he calls, make a note of it, then block him.”

 

“Okay.”

 

I did as P’Erng said while he called Khun Ta to take care of it. Once that was done, I felt much more at ease.

 

“Thank you, P’Erng.”

 

“Don’t let people like that intimidate you. And why did you bring your bank book?”

 

“I was scared I wouldn’t have enough to pay. Heh… I thought you could help me check. At first, I was going to withdraw everything and pay you back, but it’s less than three million. Apart from this, I haven’t got any savings.”

 

“Let me have a look.”

 

P’Erng moved closer. His hand reached round behind me as though he was about to put his arm round me, but he wasn’t. I let him look at my bank book. I wasn’t embarrassed. He was the one who’d taken me to open the account, after all. We’d crossed the footbridge to Chofa together, and then he’d deposited money for me every month.

 

“And this is your credit card… The one I didn’t give back.”

 

The card I’d planned to keep as a memento. But I was beginning to come to terms with things now, so I thought I should return it. I didn’t know what its limit was. I was scared he might have reported it to the police, and I’d accidentally use it. Then they really would come for me.

 

“Keep it, Pei. The card and the money in your account. I’m in no hurry about the three million. Use the card to buy laundry detergent and ironing spray. I don’t know how much any of it costs. You can handle it.”

 

“Okay… When do you want me to start work?”

 

“Come whenever you’re free. Wash everything in the wardrobe. I don’t like the laundry shop’s smell.”

 

That was a lot of work for me… P’Erng had so many clothes, and he wanted me to wash his entire wardrobe. Would I even finish within a month? So much for sleeping, Pei. Whoever said men were easy to dress should come and look at Mr Achitphon. Hats, socks and underwear all had to come in collections. Ties had to match the outfit. There were suits in every style and colour imaginable. Whenever I did his laundry, I had to set aside a whole day. I didn’t even dare put it in the washing machine in case I ruined something.

 

“I’ll come tomorrow, then…”

 

“Mm. You can come straight up. I haven’t had your fingerprint access removed. The door code’s still the same too.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Why hadn’t he removed it…? Perhaps there was no need. P’Erng probably knew I wouldn’t come and steal anything from his flat. Getting the building management to remove it might be a hassle too.

 

I didn’t know how much my feelings for P’Erng had faded, but talking to him still made me feel at ease. Perhaps he felt the same. At least he didn’t make me uncomfortable.

 

Maybe we could be like brothers? No, we couldn’t. Employer and employee, then. Creditor and debtor too. Perhaps P’Erng wasn’t rushing me over the debt because he knew I had nowhere to go. I’d been helping with the housework for so long, and I’d never betray the Araya family anyway. The only reason I’d made it this far in life was P’Ern and P’Erng.

 

Whatever. If I couldn’t be P’Erng’s anymore, I could go back to being his servant. Perhaps I’d get over him… Or had I already let him go? I’d have to see him with Milan first. If I didn’t feel anything then, it would mean I really had become a new Bao Pei.

 

As for us, what was past could stay in the past. Perhaps that was better than wondering endlessly what had actually ended things between us. Knowing might hurt me even more… Perhaps it was better not to know.

 

“You’ve got even more debt now?”

 

“Yeah… I crashed into a brand-new BMW.”

 

“Fuck, that’s unlucky. Won’t your insurance pay?”

 

“It might be over the limit. Mine’s only an eco car.”

 

“Really? I don’t know how much it costs to repair a BMW either.”

 

Pong drove an old Toyota that belonged to his family. His salary was good, but his family wasn’t rich. His friend was, though—the heir to the gold shop. He still hadn’t softened up enough to put me in touch with him.

 

“It’s all right. I’ve borrowed the money from someone else. But I have to help him with some work to pay it off.”

 

“Who did you borrow from? Why was he so willing to lend it to you?”

 

“Er… A friend of my dad’s.”

 

I didn’t dare tell him I’d borrowed from P’Erng. That would turn into a long conversation. A very long one.

 

“Your dad’s lucky, isn’t he? Wins a condominium in a raffle and has a generous friend too.”

 

“Lucky, my arse. I’m up to my neck in debt. I probably can’t take any more jobs in your entertainment industry. I have to do this work and pay off my debt first.”

 

“Hang in there. Sigh… I’m worried about you.”

 

Pong picked up his chicken drumstick and put it in my lunch box. All he ever ate was fried chicken. I’d once asked him whether he ever had fried pork. He’d said one of his close friends was Muslim, so he didn’t eat pork out of respect for him.

 

I didn’t believe him. He’d been eating crispy pork just the other day.

 

“If you’re worried about me, buy me a lottery ticket. Look, I’ve already picked my lucky numbers. Shall we go and buy some? Come on, come on! The draw’s tomorrow.”

 

“Ever since you started playing, I haven’t seen you win once, Pei.”

 

Pong always had to jinx me. Who won every single draw? You just kept buying tickets, and when you finally won, you won big.

 

“This time, my LINE group says the lucky numbers came from a monk at a famous temple. Look.”

 

“Shit. There are LINE groups for lottery tips?”

 

I told you Pei had inside information! I had to win this time. In the previous draws, I’d guessed everything myself, which was why I’d lost. Now I had a LINE group full of lottery experts. My chances might improve.

 

“Look, they recommend temples where you can ask for lucky numbers too. Come with me. I want to try it.”

 

“No. Can’t be bothered.”

 

“You’re unbelievable. If I win first prize, don’t come telling me you regret not buying tickets with me.”

 

He looked utterly fed up with me, but he agreed to come and buy lottery tickets anyway. Since I’d had a car accident this time, I had to buy two tickets with my own registration number for good luck. I didn’t dare buy a whole set. I was scared I’d go broke. Heh…

 

“I’m definitely going to win.”

 

“Amen. May you win six million and have the money to pay off your debts.”

 

“If I win, I’ll treat you to a buffet that costs two thousand a head. Oh, Pong, I’m not having lunch with you tomorrow. I have to eat with my department.”

 

“Your job’s finally been assigned to a department? I thought you’d been sitting there all alone with nobody to talk to for ages.”

 

“Yeah. They’ve moved me to the Board Office.”

 

“What?! You have to eat with the executives? What company puts a public relations role in with the executives? I’m confused.”

 

Pong looked as though I was about to go off to war. I felt exactly the same. My department’s organisational chart had P’Ern, the chairman, P’Erng as vice-chairman, their two secretaries, and me. Just thinking about it put me off my food. I’d have to sit through P’Ern and P’Erng eating together.

 

I’d been through that a few times before, and let me tell you, they weren’t brothers who should be sharing a dining table. They ate different things, and sometimes they liked taking little digs at each other in this… psychological way. I was too stupid to understand what they meant, but the atmosphere was tense.

 

“I’ll buy some bread for you. You can eat it when you get back. If it were me, I definitely wouldn’t be able to eat with the bosses. Even eating with my department head makes the food taste worse. Just hang in there.”

 

“Thank you, Pong. You’re such a bloody wonderful friend. I love you.”

 

“Can you not get all emotional in front of the lottery stall?”

 

“Come and make merit with me. Then we can win the lottery together. I don’t want to get rich on my own. I want you to do well alongside me.”

 

“Sigh… I’ve given up on you, Pei. Come on. Back to work.”

 

Amen. Tomorrow, Pei would be a millionaire. I’d leave Pong speechless.