In Love With An Idiot

Special Chapter 4: Pongkhun – Milun

Ever since the day I teased Milan about taking out a joint mortgage with me in five years, a full seven years had passed before we finally signed the contract. And we hadn't bought the ten-million-baht apartment in the development, either. We'd upgraded to its largest condominium unit: three bedrooms, twenty million baht, and two parking spaces. An absolute bargain, especially with the thirty per cent employee discount. I'd been promoted to Marketing Manager by then.

 

“It doesn't feel real.”

 

“You're such a crybaby. It doesn't get any more real than this.”

 

My boyfriend's eyes were brimming with tears, the tip of his nose red, as he stared endlessly at the welcome package for new residents. But we really did own this condominium now. After another two months of decorating, we'd be able to move in properly.

 

I'd booked Araya's interior-design team as soon as we decided to buy the place. Even as an employee, I couldn't jump the queue ahead of customers. As a manager, I had to set an example by following company policy. Besides, I now own shares in the company, even if it's only a very small amount. My boss was clever. Khun Erng had worked out that giving us shares would make us work ourselves to the bone because the company was partly ours.

 

So I'd never gone anywhere else for work. I breathed Araya in and breathed Araya out. Here I was, a loyal servant to the two siblings of that family. Business had been good this year, too. I was hoping for a bonus of at least three months' salary to put towards decorating our home!

 

“Thank you for never letting go of my hand.”

 

He wouldn't stop getting sentimental. I had to reach over and ruffle my tearful boyfriend's hair. Getting to this point had been bloody difficult, especially because Milan had gone to work in China.

 

My boyfriend once applied for a job at Araya, but he wasn't accepted. It had also been a turning point in the entertainment industry. When an opportunity to work in China came along, he took it, even though it meant starting with a small part in an international co-production. That role brought him some recognition. He went on to play supporting parts and appear on television programmes. He never became a massive star, but he had steady work.

 

The trouble with filming dramas in China was that he could disappear for months at a time. Our relationship was rocky at first. We nearly broke up several times.

 

But we both remembered the promise we'd made before Milan boarded his flight to China: *Don't break up until we no longer love each other.* So every time things became difficult, we tried to get through them together. I used up all my annual leave flying to China. Sometimes Milan flew back to Thailand for a single night before returning to work.

 

That kind of relationship exhausted both of us. We couldn't live normally. We were together, but we couldn't post photographs of each other or go on dates. All we could do was stay inside a room.

 

“Wait for me, all right? My contract will end in another few years.”

 

“What if they renew it?”

 

“They won't. I'm not famous. All I get are small roles.”

 

“Why think like that? Your next drama could make you famous.”

 

Although the long-distance relationship hurt, I'd never wanted my boyfriend to feel disappointed in himself. I wanted Milan to become the successful, famous actor he dreamed of being. I'd just have to endure the separation for as long as I could.

 

“No, I don't think I'll renew. Even people more famous than me aren't doing it. Right now, all I can do is try to hold on to my fanbase. Then maybe I'll still get work in the industry when I return to Thailand. And if there aren't any opportunities left, at least I'll have a lump sum to put towards our joint mortgage.”

 

What had begun as a joke was something we both remembered. So I concentrated on my own work, traded stocks and gradually bought more Araya shares on the stock exchange whenever I could afford them, separately from the shares Khun Erng had given me personally.

 

Then one day Milan called to tell me the agency really wasn't renewing his contract. He would have to return to Thailand. His former manager was contacting Thai acting agencies to see whether there might be an opportunity for him to come back to the industry.

 

But the Thai entertainment scene was all about on-screen couples these days. Every offer he received involved being romantically paired with another actor. Which meant our relationship would have to remain a secret indefinitely.

 

“Do you want to sign?”

 

I hadn't voiced an opinion then, even though I hated the idea. I knew I had no right to forbid him. I wanted what was best for Milan's future. I didn't even know whether I'd be with him for the rest of his life. I could die first, for all I knew. I didn't want him to throw away his future for me.

 

To be blunt, he earned much more than I did. I was only a salaried employee. Having shares didn't make me the owner of the company.

 

“I don't want to. I don't want to make Pong sad any more.”

 

“Think about yourself first. If it's an important opportunity, you should choose your future…”

 

“Pong is important too. It makes me sad that I can't be with you, that we can't live together. You're part of my future too.”

 

That little man was far stronger than I was. It was a declaration of love without the word *love*, rather like when we'd first got together. There'd been no formal confession or agreement at all. Somehow, we'd simply known.

 

“Then don't sign. Don't become anyone else's pretend boyfriend… Having only me is enough, isn't it, P'Milan?”

 

A few months later, Milan returned to Thailand and signed with an agency specialising in short series for streaming platforms. It was a good acting opportunity.

 

We went to look at the development we'd talked about when Milan first applied to Araya. Construction had been finished for a year or two, but sales hadn't closed, and the largest unit was still available.

 

With my salary and Milan's savings, we could have bought a house. But a condominium was more convenient for my commute. I wouldn't have to fight traffic across the city. Milan would also be away filming a series, so he probably wouldn't be home much. In the end, we settled on this development. We arranged absolutely everything through Araya, from the design and fitted furniture to the curtains and window film, to make full use of that thirty per cent discount.

 

At last, we moved into our home. My boyfriend cried again on moving day. My own chest tightened too. Something we'd waited for so long had finally become real.

 

Of the three bedrooms, one was mine, and one was Milan's. We'd decided to sleep separately because of our work schedules. I had a regular job and woke easily, while Milan came home at all sorts of hours. When our schedules matched, we'd sleep together in one room or the other. We always shared a bed on Fridays and Saturdays anyway. I don't know how other couples arrange things, but this worked for us.

 

The third bedroom was a multipurpose room, with my desk and Milan's studio. He wanted to livestream chats with his fans, so he needed a backdrop, lighting, and all that sort of thing. It didn't take up much room.

 

Applying for a joint mortgage hadn't been difficult because we were already married. We'd quietly registered our marriage at the Thai embassy in China. I'd only recently found out it could be done there, but we needed two witnesses: Paopei and Khun Erng.

 

We registered our marriage after our last enormous argument, the one that had nearly ended our relationship. Pei stepped in as a mediator and helped us make up. Afterwards, I thought, why not just get married? It would be a promise that we would come back and live together in the end. Milan agreed immediately.

 

But his filming schedule in China was packed, so I flew over to register the marriage. And because we needed two witnesses, Pei volunteered at once, saying he'd been our matchmaker from the beginning. Naturally, the second witness had to be his devoted husband, who would never let his little cabbage go to China alone. So I had the honour of having my company's deputy chairman witness my wedding.

 

We even received an early housewarming gift: a honeymoon trip to Norway to see the Northern Lights. Whenever we wanted to go, we only had to let Khun Erng know, and he'd transfer the money.

 

And what did that idiot Pei give us? Eight crates of instant noodles.

 

“They're a symbol of your love! If I hadn't entered that prize draw, would you have gone to Hong Kong with Milan?”

 

So now there were enormous stacks of noodle boxes spoiling the view in my modern condominium.

 

“Shall we donate them?”

 

I could see Milan trying not to laugh.

 

“Mm… let's do that. We can go on our day off.”

 

Even after moving in together, my daily life didn't change much. I still got up early and went to work as usual. The only difference was that now I had to give my boyfriend a morning kiss before leaving.

 

Milan was at home most of the time because filming hadn't started. For now, he practised his lines and took extra acting lessons. His new series was a drama set inside a cosmetics manufacturing company. The plot was surprisingly interesting, with the sales department driving the story: people slipping dangerous substances into products to steal clients, consulting spirit mediums and using black magic, the clash between good and evil, corruption, and even government officials colluding in it.

 

My boyfriend's character was a superstitious man obsessed with occult practices. He used magic to win customers, only for the spell to backfire and drive him mad.

 

The first time I came home and found Milan rehearsing his character's descent into madness, I nearly had a heart attack. I thought my boyfriend had genuinely fallen ill. He could play roles like that with ease. His experience in China had helped him a great deal.

 

The scenes he struggled with, though, were the love scenes.

 

You might be wondering whether a drama like this could possibly have love scenes. Well, it did! There was a scene where a female occult practitioner told him he had to have sex and undergo some sort of golden-body charm ritual. But the scene wasn't supposed to feel romantic. It was meant to be uncomfortable, painful, something endured with determination in the pursuit of success.

 

And who else would my boyfriend choose as his rehearsal partner but me?

 

I'm not an actor! How the hell was I supposed to play the female occult practitioner? From what I understood, she was meant to be a seductive older woman luring in a younger man. She needed smouldering eyes, irresistible moves and sex appeal.

 

I analysed the script, tried biting my lip and putting on a sexy expression, but Milan burst out laughing.

 

“What am I doing wrong, darlinggg?”

 

I'd even wrapped a towel around my chest like a strapless dress, so short it nearly exposed everything, and showed off my legs. I was following the brief exactly!

 

“I can't! You've got hairy legs, broad shoulders and muscles everywhere! Hahahaha!”

 

The actress actually playing the role was a seasoned professional who'd been in the industry for years. Milan said he'd been embarrassed even during rehearsals with her. The moment her expression changed, she went from a kind older sister to a predatory tigress.

 

“Well, I'm being your tigress now!”

 

I raised my hands like claws and growled, giving it all the sultry intensity I could muster. Milan laughed even harder and said I looked like Kim Jong-kook from *Running Man*.

 

I wasn't even that big! I was a tall, lean sort of man who worked out at the gym.

 

“I'm going to all this trouble, and you're still laughing. Come on, let's rehearse. Do you want that irresistible charm to bring in customers and make a billion in sales or not?”

 

“I don't want it any more! Hahahaha! I can't rehearse with you. I just laugh whenever I look at Pong. I'll practise by myself instead.”

 

“Oh, come on! What if you close your eyes?”

 

“I suppose we could try that.”

 

All right. That was my mistake.

 

Giving Milan a sleeping eye mask meant *he* couldn't see anything, while *I* could see everything. I swallowed hard. My little boyfriend lay beneath me, his lips parted, his hands moving hesitantly over my body. Even though we were supposedly rehearsing, with positions chosen to work for the camera, I started moving for real. I slowly lowered myself and lifted one pale leg, preparing to bury my face between his thighs.

 

“They'll use camera angles for this bit,” Milan explained. “You'll only see someone bending down before the shot cuts. Then I'm supposed to turn over and end up on top.”

 

On the actual shoot, there would be an entire crew watching. But right now there were only the two of us, and I couldn't separate acting from reality the way professional actors did. All I knew was how soft my boyfriend felt. And when it came time to roll over, Milan couldn't see because of the eye mask. He lifted his leg and draped it right across my shoulder.

 

With my slender, pink-nippled boyfriend lying beneath me like that, I completely forgot I was supposed to let him turn me over. My head went hazy as I pressed myself against him. I tore away the towel that was my tigress costume, caught his little hand and pressed it flat against my stomach.

 

“Ah! Pong!”

 

“Your tigress is taking a break, darling. The tiger's ready to take over now.”

 

“N-no! We have to practise. We're nearly finished. I have to get on top of you first…”

 

“Fine… you can be on top.”

 

I caught his slim waist and rolled him over so he was lying on me. His soft hips settled right over my erection. Fuck, the view from here was incredible. His narrow waist arched forwards, his breathing a little ragged.

 

“Bend down… It cuts just as you lean towards my breasts, doesn't it?” My voice was husky as I struggled to control myself.

 

Milan slowly leaned down as instructed. On set, it would all be camera angles: Milan's character becomes aroused and buries his face in the woman's chest. They would film from a low angle, showing only Milan from his face to just below the actress's breasts, without showing her body. I was possessive, of course, but I understood that it was acting.

 

Milan lowered himself until he was against me. What I didn't expect was for him to keep going. His little pink tongue flicked out and touched my nipple, sending a shiver through my entire body. He was like a mischievous little kitten.

 

“Naughty…”

 

“Does little Pong like it?”

 

“So you don't need me to be the tigress any more?”

 

“What do you think? I want the tiger to pounce on me.”

 

Well, that settled it.

 

What was I waiting for? I turned Milan over and pinned him beneath me again. The sight of his pale leg over my shoulder had been far too exciting. I wanted to pick up exactly where we'd left off.

 

“You'll be pounced on all night. I'll make you beg for mercy until you never dare go looking for another tigress.”

 

Then the day of the series premiere arrived. A tiny clip from the bed scene had been included in the teaser. It was less than two seconds of Milan's face leaning towards the actress, but fans were going wild over it. Especially one exceptionally dedicated fan named Pei.

 

He kept wailing that his tiny three-centimetre Milan had grown up at last, and that he'd do his best to keep an open mind and watch the whole thing.

 

The series really did become popular. Several actors with large fan bases were involved, and both the script and the camerawork were excellent. They even organised a cinema screening for one episode every week.

 

I went along too, usually with Pei, because he'd bought up a block of tickets. But when the episode with the bed scene came around, he couldn't come. He was on duty at the hospital because a foreign royal client had come for a health check.

 

He'd risen through the ranks now and was Deputy Manager of Public Relations, responsible for the hospital's international clients.

 

So I had to watch my own boyfriend's bed scene on an IMAX screen. On screen, my Milan became someone entirely different, someone I hardly recognised. He was ambitious and willing to do whatever it took, exactly as the role demanded. The ritual scene with the occult practitioner was beautifully designed. There was no romance in it. It showed someone so desperate to achieve success that he'd do absolutely anything.

 

After the screening, the actors came onstage for interviews. Milan and the actress spoke together briefly, demonstrating how professional they both were. Milan's fans had turned up in force for every episode.

 

When the event ended, I waited in my car. I parked on a different level from the cinema, arranging for the crew's vehicle to drop Milan off there so he could avoid the fans.

 

But… someone photographed us anyway.

 

People had actually been taking photographs of us since the second or third episode, I think. I'd considered not coming any more. But Milan said it was fine. He didn't want to hide our relationship. If people found out, then so be it.

 

I wasn't too bothered either. I wasn't in show business, so I doubted anyone would go digging through my background.

 

[*Actor from hit drama secretly dating male boyfriend, an executive at a property company. Fans regularly spot him being picked up and dropped off.*]

 

I had seriously underestimated his fans!

 

[*It's someone with the initial P.K.*]

 

[*He works at Company A. I'm an intern there, hehe.*]

 

[*He was my senior at university. Really clever, that one. No wonder he posted so many trips to China on Instagram. Who was it working in China, then?*]

 

[*Long-time fans have known since the Hong Kong trip.*]

 

[*They've been together for sooo long! I'm jealous!*]

 

[*So incredibly discreet. That's real love. There hasn't been a single rumour.*]

 

Then somebody posted the group photograph from the Hong Kong trip. I was wearing sunglasses in it, but I also had a Milan fan-club shirt on and was standing right at the edge of the group. After that came photographs of me attending events as Araya's Marketing Manager. Whenever there was a company announcement, I was usually the one put forward to represent us. They even discovered that I held shares in Araya.

 

Fucking terrifying.

 

[*This one gets my approval. He's a suitable match for our boy. Good-looking, excellent credentials.*]

 

All I could do was accept it. Milan found the whole thing funny. He even went around liking fans' posts that supported our relationship, which was as good as quietly confirming we really were together.

 

Everyone was supportive. Everyone, that is, except for one person who simply couldn't control himself.

 

[*POOOONG! JERK!*]

 

[*Showing yourself off soooo much!*]

 

[*MY MILAN! MINE, MINE, MINE!*]

 

And dozens more messages from that obsessive fan, as though he'd completely forgotten he'd witnessed our marriage registration himself.

 

He flooded my messages for an hour. Finally, I couldn't stand it and sent a message to my dear boss.

 

[*Khun Erng, could you please deal with this for me?*]

 

The moment the message showed *Read*, accompanied by a sticker of a little white, bald-headed character giving a thumbs-up, Pei disappeared from my life without another word.

 

He'd only wanted to wind me up in the first place!