In Love With An Idiot

Special Chapter 2: Pongkhun

Hello. I'm Pongkhun, a handsome young man who cared so much about concert tickets that I helped my best friend eat three crates of instant noodles to enter a prize draw for a trip to Hong Kong with a little-known actor he liked.

 

After my difficult battle against monosodium glutamate, I finally became one of the lucky winners of the Hong Kong trip. But that bastard Pei couldn't go.

 

Because his husband was jealous!

 

None of my other friends was free either. It would have been a shame not to go after eating so many crates, so I had to travel alone. And thus began my solo trip to Hong Kong with a fan club and an actor I didn't even like in the slightest.

 

My sense of being out of place began at airport check-in. Every other prize-winner wore a T-shirt printed with Milan's face and name. They crowded around him like ants around sweets—or flies around shit. I was the only one standing outside the circle with a rucksack on my back, reading the printed itinerary in my hand. Thank goodness my sunglasses covered half my face, so nobody could see how awkward I felt.

 

There were only three proper manly men among the prize-winners, including me. The other two looked like husbands who'd come along with their wives and were busy taking photographs of them with their favourite actor.

 

“Happy Hong Kong Wow-Wow-Wow with Milan! Please line up for check-in!”

 

The name of the trip alone made me want to hail a taxi and go home to bed. But I consoled myself with the thought that getting free flights, food and a trip abroad didn't happen every day. So I followed the staff to check in.

 

I was taller than everyone else, which left me sticking up like a dark-clothed landmark in the middle of Milan's fan club. Every conversation was about Milan, Milan and more Milan. Meanwhile, the actor himself stood at the front of the queue beside his manager, checking in.

 

“Are you travelling alone? Why didn't you invite a friend?”

 

“My friend's busy, so I had to come on my own.”

 

The prize was for two people. Not only had that bastard Pei abandoned me because he was afraid of arguing with his husband, but he'd also spent the past two hours pestering me on LINE to take lots of photographs of Milan for him. He had no sense of guilt whatsoever!

 

Our boss's jealousy really did spread everywhere. After making Pei sulk because he couldn't go to Hong Kong with Milan, the boss made it up to him by offering him a trip to Europe to see the Northern Lights. Pei immediately forgot all his disappointment over Hong Kong and smiled from ear to ear. He also forgot that he'd left his best friend on Happy Hong Kong Wow-Wow-Wow with Milan.

 

I intended to be a lone wolf for the entire trip. But then…

 

“Please change into the fan-club T-shirt too. We need to take photographs of the activities.”

 

And so the lone wolf in black was forced to join the fan-club gang.

 

The trip wasn't especially luxurious: a budget airline, a three-star hotel and a fairly ordinary itinerary, mainly visiting temples popular with Thai tourists. I thought it was reasonable. Milan wasn't a major star, and getting hired by a large brand as its spokesperson was already quite an achievement.

 

Before entering the international departures area, we had to take a group photograph. I stood at the far edge and let the fans crowd around their favourite actor, but I didn't forget to hand my phone to a staff member to take a photograph for me. I needed to send it to Pei, who was whining again about not having seen a single picture of Milan.

 

Even the group photograph wasn't good enough for him. He wanted a clear, full-HD picture of Milan smiling. Bloody idiot. He annoyed me so much that I ended up joining the queue to have my picture taken with Milan.

 

“Could I take a photo with you?”

 

Milan turned and smiled. He looked a little tenser because, instead of the female fans he was used to, there was a large man in dark sunglasses standing before him, in a bad mood, thanks to bloody Pei.

 

“Of course.”

 

The staff took two photographs for me, and I wandered off to stand at a distance again. Then we were herded along like a flock of ducklings. The Happy Hong Kong Wow-Wow-Wow with Milan group headed inside.

 

By the time we reached the boarding gate, I was getting sleepy. It was a late-night flight scheduled to arrive in Hong Kong the following morning. And since yesterday had been Friday, I'd gone straight home after work to pack before coming to the airport.

 

The other travellers were starting to look like sleepy ducklings too. Only a few were still taking photographs. Milan was sitting with his manager a couple of rows in front of me, wearing a neck pillow and a cap pulled over his face. He was probably asleep as well.

 

Just before boarding was announced, I got up to wash my face in the toilet. When I raised my head again, I found Pei's favourite actor standing beside me with his head tilted, nodding off. His big eyes were half-closed, as though he'd fallen asleep on his feet. I looked left and right, but there was nobody else around, so I reached out and gently shook his shoulder.

 

“Excuse me… hello?”

 

He was bloody tiny, about the same size as Pei, with shoulders almost as narrow as a woman's. He even jolted awake exactly the way Pei did. No wonder the boss had once had a fling with Milan. This was obviously Pei with a nose job!

 

“Ah… Did I fall asleep?”

 

I'm not against cosmetic surgery. I had my chin done myself, which is why I'm so handsome. But it had nothing to do with wanting to be handsome. I'd been hit by a car, fallen headfirst and struck my chin on the ground so badly that my jaw was crooked. Luckily, surgery fixed it. Otherwise I'd have been too upset to leave the house. My nose, however, had always been high-bridged.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Milan blinked at me and smiled. It was the same smile he gave his fans. Suddenly I felt guilty about having lied to Pei that Milan was an ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine. That friend didn't even exist. Being smiled at by Milan made me feel like a sinner.

 

“Thank you. Er… Milan, right?”

 

“I'm Pongkhun. Just call me Pong.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Pong. I've never been to Hong Kong, so I'm really excited. Have you been before?”

 

“It's my first time too.”

 

Why did he want to chat so much? I couldn't even walk away because the toilet area was tiny, and this short, smiling fellow was blocking the way.

 

“I want to visit a temple and pray for love. I've always wanted to tie a red thread, in case my wish comes true.”

 

The more I listened, the more uncomfortable I felt. It was the guilty feeling of someone with a skeleton in his cupboard. I hadn't actually encouraged him to break up with the boss, but I'd still been a little involved. And now he was looking sad too. What the hell should I do?

 

“Your wish will come true. With a face like yours, finding a boyfriend won't be difficult.”

 

“I know! That's what I think too. Hehe.”

 

Before guilt could weigh any more heavily on me, the second boarding announcement saved my life. Sometimes, however, karma comes in the form of a trip to Hong Kong. I ended up seated directly behind Milan. Because I was the tallest person nearby, I had to play the considerate gentleman and help everyone lift their luggage into the overhead lockers, including Milan.

 

“Thank you, Pong.”

 

“Mm. No problem.”

 

Luckily, once the plane took off, I slept for ages. I'd worked hard all week without a proper rest. The week before, we'd even had Araya's sports day, and as the youngest person in my department, I'd had to compete in just about everything.

 

Once we arrived in Hong Kong, we boarded a coach. The guide stood at the front speaking, and I exercised my right to sit near the front because the back had already become Milan FC territory. Milan was sitting somewhere towards the middle, a little closer to the back.

 

Everyone behind me was having a great time chatting, while I listened to the guide. Soon we arrived at Che Kung Temple. Personally, I'm not a particularly devout believer, but I got carried away by the atmosphere and bought a dragon-themed offering so I could make lots of wishes about work and get my money's worth.

 

I even made wishes for Pei. That bastard had sent me a whole A4 page of things he wanted me to pray for, but he hadn't sent a single baht. What a stingy little sod, considering how rich his husband was.

 

“I think you've asked for more wishes than your dragon incense was worth, Pong. Hehe.”

 

When I finished praying, Milan was standing beside me, smiling.

 

“Ah, whatever. If I ask for lots of things, the gods can choose which ones they want to grant.”

 

“Wow, how did you think of that? I only asked for one thing. What if it doesn't come true?”

 

Before I could answer, someone called Milan away for photographs with the fans. I imagined he must be tired too. He was constantly being asked for photographs or pulled into conversation and hardly had a moment to himself, but he had to keep smiling.

 

A friend had once asked if I wanted to try doing a little work in the entertainment industry—the same friend who'd got Pei the role of a tone-deaf singer. But I hated being watched, so I hadn't been interested.

 

And most importantly, an actor couldn't become too close to just anyone. Fans weren't the same as friends, but an actor still had to treat them well. Just thinking about it exhausted me on Milan's behalf.

 

After the temple visit, we took another group photograph and went to eat. The Chinese food was a little bland, but perfectly edible. I ended up at the same table as Milan because the staff had probably realised I wasn't really a fan. They might have thought I'd feel awkward among the fan-club members, so they solved the problem by seating me with Milan and his manager.

 

Nobody objected. Most of the people who'd spoken to me assumed I was simply a customer who'd entered the prize draw and won by chance, with no particular interest in Milan. They'd made that assumption themselves. I'd eaten three crates of noodles for i-dle tickets!

 

“Eat plenty, Pong. I can't eat much starch.”

 

“Are you allergic to gluten?”

 

“Milan's watching his diet, dear,” his manager explained.

 

“He's the size of a kitten, and he still has to watch his diet?”

 

His manager looked shocked, while Milan pouted at me. Pei and Milan were both skinny little things. One flick, and they'd probably go flying. What sort of logic was this? He was already so thin, yet he still had to diet?

 

“I'm a male actor, but I'm small and have a narrow waist. That means there are certain kinds of roles that suit my character. If I put on weight, I can't play them. And I'm not tall enough to build myself up like the big leading men, so I don't have many options.”

 

“Sounds difficult.”

 

Listening to him almost made me want to put down my chopsticks and diet with him. But the fried noodles were simply too delicious. I wound a great big bundle of them round my chopsticks and stuffed it into my mouth.

 

Milan watched me chewing and muttered something under his breath. He was probably cursing me for eating so enthusiastically in front of him. Well, he was the one choosing not to eat.

 

Besides, I'd spent a month eating instant noodles. I'd eaten so many that my mother had become worried, thinking I'd got myself into football-gambling debt and couldn't afford proper food. Even if this Chinese food was a bit bland, at that moment anything that wasn't instant noodles tasted wonderful.

 

“If you're avoiding starch, have some duck. It's good.”

 

I put several pieces of roast duck on the diet-conscious actor's plate and gave some to his manager too. Then I pulled the plate of fried noodles towards myself and ate them alone. Proper noodles were so much better than instant ones! The best dish, though, was the stir-fried cabbage. If Pei had been here, he'd have ordered several extra plates.

 

“Do you like cabbage, Pong?”

 

“My best friend does. The one who was busy and couldn't come. He's a fan of yours.”

 

“Really? Why didn't he come?”

 

“He had plans with his boyfriend.”

 

“Why didn't you invite your own boyfriend, then?”

 

“I don't have one. That's why I came alone.”

 

Milan smiled and nodded eagerly, exactly the way Pei did. Bloody hell, they were like twins. Thank goodness their faces weren't too alike, or I'd have been so unnerved I'd have handed Milan the cabbage dish without thinking.

 

“What about you? Have you got a boyfriend, or are actors not allowed to date?”

 

“No, I don't. I'm concentrating on work.”

 

Milan didn't seem especially good at lying. He probably didn't realise that I already knew he liked men. But I wasn't going to mention it. We'd only met for this one trip. I wasn't his fan, and he had nothing to do with me.

 

I had to admit, though, that Milan was a nice person. Which only made me feel guiltier about inventing nasty stories about him to deceive Pei. Not that my lie had worked. Pei worshipped Milan too much for that.

 

“Aren't you tired?”

 

The sun was blazing at Wong Tai Sin Temple, where people often went to pray for love. But the little actor, who was always smiling, still worked hard to be friendly to his fans. When the girls and his manager went off to pray at different spots, he finally had a chance to rest in a quiet corner.

 

As for me, one look at that blazing sun had cured me of wanting a wife. I'd rather stay in the shade.

 

“It's hot. My water bottle's on the coach.”

 

His little face was bright red from the heat, so I offered him my water. He accepted it without hesitation and drank nearly half the bottle.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Go and pray, then. Didn't you want to ask for a boyfriend?”

 

“I'm too shy to go alone.”

 

“Come on. I'll go with you.”

 

Because I'd come alone and Milan couldn't chat as freely with the fan club members, we ended up talking almost like friends throughout the trip. He'd even moved to a seat near the front of the coach, across the aisle from me, because he got travel sick. There were still two seats and the central aisle between us.

 

I followed the instructions on the signs to tie the red thread, then made my wishes. I wasn't particularly desperate for a girlfriend because I'd only just started working, but since I was there, I might as well ask. Please let me have a cute partner, someone with a beautiful smile, someone hardworking… Amen.

 

When I opened my eyes, Milan happened to be looking straight at me. I don't know whether it was the sunlight, the hot breeze or the blazing weather, but I thought… Milan looked quite cute with his cheeks flushed.

 

Pei must have been making such a fuss about him that some of his obsession had seeped into me by osmosis. And now that I'd spent so much time near Milan, I'd also noticed a faint, pleasant fragrance and begun wondering what it was. Sweets? Baby powder? Perhaps lotion?

 

“You smell nice.”

 

“What?”

 

“Oh, nothing. Look at the camera.”

 

We were taking a group photograph in front of the temple, where space was limited. I had to stand right at the back, and Milan was directly in front of me. Even though he was small, he was still a little taller than his female fans, so they often had to stand on tiptoe to take photographs.

 

“Hee hee.”

 

“What are you laughing at?”

 

“A shorty.”

 

“Hmph!”

 

Milan was incredibly easy to tease. He couldn't even come up with a proper comeback. Throughout the trip, everyone kept teasing him, and he just looked puzzled. By the time he understood the joke, it was too late.

 

That was probably one reason his fans liked him so much.

 

On the first night in Hong Kong, Pei telephoned me. He'd been asking questions from the moment I set foot in the airport right through to when I took a shower. He wasn't interested in me at all. All he asked about was Milan. Eventually, I heard the boss complaining in the background, and Pei had to end the call quickly because his husband was sulking.

 

Bloody hilarious. This should have been a love triangle involving the boss, Pei and Milan, with Pei jealous of the boss and Milan. But somehow it had turned into the boss being jealous of Pei and Milan. Pei didn't care at all whether the boss had once flirted with Milan. He was blinded by obsession. Blinded by cuteness… Hang on. Cuteness?

 

“Hey, do you think Milan's cute?”

 

“He's all right. Hang up. I'm going to sleep.”

 

What was so cute about him, anyway? He couldn't hold a candle to Minnie. Heh…