The Grim Lover

My life lately has been full of unexpected events. If I were to plot it on a graph, it would swing up and down until I felt dizzy. But the reality right now isn't much different. It's like I've downed an entire glass of liquor in one gulp, only to catch my breath for a moment before gulping down more, repeating the process until my brain is becoming stubborn, my senses are blurry, and my head is spinning like I'm on a rollercoaster, even though I haven't actually moved at all.

 

I remained in the same spot, sitting on the floor beside the bed. In front of me were two empty dessert bowls. On his lap rested his handsome head as the Grim Reaper slept, his eyes closed, and his lips moving in an incredibly responsive way to my touch.

 

I don't know what spirit possessed me to choose to do something so reckless, but what's more interesting is what kind of bizarre spirit dared to possess the Grim Reaper. I know it's crazy that I suddenly did this to him, so I expected a different outcome. He should have pushed me away, should have used those big hands to shove my face away like he used to, not react like this.

 

Fourteen's lips were soft and warm. At first, I secretly imagined them being cold, because that's how his body is. I rarely felt the warmth radiating from him, so it was surprising that the Grim Reaper, who didn't even have a heartbeat, could give such a warm kiss.

 

He moved his lips slowly, not intrusively. It was me who wanted to break through, arguing with myself, wondering if that would be crossing a line, even though what I was doing now was already quite far from that line.

 

The hand that had been covering his eyes slowly moved, confident that he wouldn't be pushed away and given a long, drawn-out lecture. I pressed my palm against his cheek, tilting my face slightly to find the right angle for a smoother, more intimate kiss. The more I touched him, the more I wanted to know him, to taste and experience whether his flavour would be as I imagined.

 

Ah...did I accidentally confess that I've been secretly fantasising about this?

 

But anyway, don't blame me. There's a guy who looks exactly like my deceased boyfriend hanging around day and night. I admit I'm a bad person for wanting to use him as a tool to alleviate the longing that's gnawing at my heart. And don't call me shameless, but I know Fourteen knows this, too. He hears everything going on in my head.

 

"Hmm..." A soft sound from Fourteen's throat made me think I should pull away. The darkness slowly transformed into his face, then moved farther and farther away. I straightened up to a normal sitting position while Fourteen got up from my lap.

 

The tall Grim Reaper stood up, his back to me, motionless as if deciding what to do next. My mind was blank; I hadn't even thought about how to handle this awkward situation. I shifted all the responsibility to someone who probably knew better, Fourteen, and let myself sit on the floor, craning my neck to look up at the back of his head, waiting expectantly.

 

"I'll sleep outside tonight," Fourteen said calmly, without turning to look at me. His decision disappointed me a little, but I understood his reasons. Fourteen didn't need to explain anything. 

 

"But don't think you can do whatever you want just because I'm sleeping alone."

 

He finally turned to look at me, his voice low, and maintaining his usual impeccable expression. A testament to his long life. For a long time, nothing on this earth has truly been able to faze the Grim Reaper.

 

"I heard everything. Stop thinking about anything crazy."

 

I didn't reply, not even a nod. I just stared at him, staring like that with a certain expectation that I couldn't express in words. But I'm sure Fourteen understood it, in every detail and with clarity. I had conveyed everything through my thoughts.

 

"sweet dreams"

 

But he chose to reject it.

 

Fourteen said only that much before turning his back and walking away from me. He was so heartless it was disheartening, but I knew my expectations were too high. I wanted something I didn't deserve, crying out for something I might regret later. I might as well beat myself for prioritising my desires and acting on impulse rather than reason.

 

I am a reasonable person.

 

But at the same time, I'm just...a person.

 

I kept my eyes fixed on Fourteen's back. He only took three or four steps before stopping again. The heartless Grim Reaper stood there motionless for several seconds. My heart pounded just seeing him deep in thought, not even knowing if it was about me.

 

If it were about me, that would be great. I want him to think about me a lot, to think only about me, whether it's a small matter or a big one. Right now, I want him to worry about me a lot, because the more he thinks about me, the more I'll need him.

 

Suddenly, the Grim Reaper, who said he was going to sleep outside, turned around and walked straight towards me. His face looked incredibly irritated, but it didn't scare me at all. On the contrary, I found it incredibly captivating to see him frowning like that. Is he going to destroy me?

 

Without a word, the catastrophe struck. Fourteen lunged at me as I sat on the floor. Two large hands cupped my cheeks, covering almost my entire head. I was powerless, unable to resist or stop his selfish actions. In a split second, lips I thought I would never touch again pressed against mine. This time… it was deeper and more passionate than before.

 

I responded to the kiss immediately, and this time without hesitation. Once I found my rhythm, I parted my lips, intending to take the lead. But it seemed I underestimated him. He didn't wait for me to make the first move. His tongue, having just tasted food for the first time, attacked without giving me time to react. I could even taste the faint sweetness of the dessert he'd just eaten. Hmm...or was it? Maybe it wasn't the sweetness of sugar after all.

 

This might not be the right time, but I suddenly wondered where Fourteen learned how to kiss. To my understanding, Grim Reapers shouldn't be in such a relationship. A Grim Reaper having a human lover sounds too much like fiction. Or maybe it's another Grim Reaper? But why would they do that? Fourteen said they don't have deep feelings, right? Deep feelings like love don't exist anymore.

 

Or perhaps Fourteen learned this from humans as well. But why learn it? There's no reason for it.

 

"Hey," Fourteen pulled away, his face still so close I couldn't focus on his expression. That deep voice whispered close to my lips, 

 

"Stop."

“Can you think about it for a moment?"

 

"Stop...stop what?"

 

"You're thinking too much," the young Grim Reaper replied. "It's distracting me."

 

"Do you really need to concentrate to do something like this?"

 

"And you're not going to use it?"

 

"No," I replied in a faint voice, my heart pounding as I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist, tightening his embrace until our bodies were almost pressed together. "It was pure instinct."

 

Normally, Fourteen doesn't even like being near me.

 

"Instinct is human," Fourteen replied, gently pushing me back down. His hand rested on the back of my head, and as my back pressed against the cold tile floor, my head rested perfectly on his palm. That gentle and caring demeanour was unlike anything he usually did. Who would believe this was the Grim Reaper who had once pushed me headfirst? "I don't have any of those things."

 

"So, Grim Reapers don't have instincts of their own?"

 

"have"

 

"What is it for?"

 

"Do you really want to know about those things now?"

 

"Yes," I replied, deliberately trying to be sarcastic. "Or would you like to do something else?"

 

Fourteen didn't answer. He stared at my face silently, for a long time, and I had no idea what he was thinking. Just as I was about to ask him something, he leaned down and kissed me. He pressed his soft lips against mine, gently and quickly, making my heart flutter. It wasn't like the passionate kiss that had just ended. It was like he was teasing me, like P' Fah used to do.

 

"Is he possessed?" I said.

 

"Who do you mean?"

 

"you"

 

He didn't answer, but leaned down and kissed me again.

 

"How could a ghost possess the Grim Reaper?" Fourteen replied after turning away. I thought I heard a faint chuckle coming from him.

 

"Well, you're acting abnormally."

 

"So, is what you did perfectly normal?"

 

"It's not that strange," I replied, raising my hand to touch his face. My self-control was at rock bottom at the moment; I acted on almost everything that popped into my head, without any filtering. "I've wanted to kiss you several times; you should know that."

 

"Do you think doing this will make you stop thinking about him?"

 

I know who Fourteen is talking about.

 

We both know.

 

"And isn't that your job?" I retorted bluntly. "Isn't the reason you look like P'Fah because you want me to feel good? I thought you were already fulfilling your duty as his representative."

 

For a moment, I wondered if my words sounded too cruel, but on second thought, there was nothing wrong with them. Fourteen's appearance was like this to satisfy my emotional needs. It made me feel comfortable and trusting of him in a short time, without me even realising it. I didn't choose to trust him, but because he reminded me of someone I loved wholeheartedly, I felt a connection with him easily.

 

"I'm not his representative," Fourteen replied calmly. "My face is just to make you feel comfortable and not afraid of me."

 

"It's the same."

 

"It's not like that at all."

"okay"

 

"What?" The young Grim Reaper raised an eyebrow and looked at me.

 

"I just feel worthless," I said before pulling Fourteen down to lie beside me, which he did without resistance. "I have no one left. No one wants me. That's why I want to die. But I can't die, so I have to find some way to end my suffering."

 

I spoke without shame, even though I knew full well how disgusting my words were. I was selfish, starting to do things without regard for right or wrong, because now I no longer knew what was good or what was considered wicked.

 

I just have to survive.

 

"So, does doing this really help?" Fourteen asked back.

 

"I want to feel needed." The feeling right now is awful, but at the same time, I feel like I can breathe easier after letting go of these selfish feelings and telling them. "I want to be seen, to be touched, to feel important."

 

"Do you think I could ever give you something like that?"

 

"Yes"

 

I answered without hesitation.

 

"I can't."

 

Fourteen refused almost immediately.

 

"You almost did it." I turned to face him, lifted my leg to photograph his thigh, and deliberately rubbed it lightly. I was unusually bold today, probably because of the sugar in the cantaloupe with coconut milk earlier. "Just now... You did it."

 

"Your thoughts bother me."

 

"Are you annoyed, Fah... just now?"

 

"yes"

 

"What do I have to do to make you annoyed with me again?"

I guess Fourteen was intentionally saying mean things to make me stop bothering him, but unfortunately, it didn't work. The more he tried to be mean, the more I felt the urge to confront him, to break down the wall he'd built. Maybe this is one of my bad habits.

 

"We should really sleep separately tonight," Fourteen said.

 

"You're so moody," I said, chuckling. "You change your mind so quickly, I can't keep up."

 

"It's you who's going up and down."

 

"Of course," I replied. "I'm sick."

 

"If you knew that, you shouldn't have bothered me," Fourteen said before sitting up. This time, it seemed like he was really going to leave me. I didn't know what I could use to keep him. "You'll regret doing this when you get better."

 

"And will you regret it?"

 

"He's gone," Fourteen replied calmly. "I have nothing to lose."

 

"Then do it."

 

"No," the Grim Reaper replied firmly, making him get up and run away. But this time I was faster, leaping up and grabbing him quickly. Even though I only managed to grab the hem of his shirt, it was still a good move. "This... that's enough."

 

"Sleep in the room."

 

Fourteen paused for a moment, as if deep in thought, before finally nodding in agreement.

 

"Okay," he replied, "then you go lie down on the bed properly. I'll put the snack cups away and then come back to sleep on the sofa."

 

"no"

 

"You have no right to negotiate with me, Won."

 

"Let's sleep together in bed," I said, not just saying it, but giving him a pleading look. At first, I thought I wanted to be alone, but when Fourteen came closer, I realised I didn't want to be alone at all. "Just lie beside me. I promise I won't bother you."

 

Although I couldn't believe it, I was overjoyed that my pleas had worked. Not only did Fourteen not run off to sleep outside, but he actually agreed to sleep on the bed next to me. Even though there was a pillow between us, and Fourteen was sitting against the headboard instead of lying down, at least it made me feel more comfortable than having to sleep alone on this big bed.

 

Fourteen sat with his arms crossed, eyes closed, like a security guard on duty. I tried to force myself to sleep, too. If I stayed awake, Fourteen would think I was being fussy and wouldn't let me sleep, and would just leave. That's why I had to be a really good boy, so he'd indulge me until morning.

 

I tried counting numbers, hoping it would make me sleepy, but it didn't work. I tried counting sheep, but that didn't work either. I think the main reason is that Fourteen thing. What just happened has been replaying in my head a thousand times, and now it's playing on, keeping me from falling asleep. There are so many questions I want to ask, but I can't. First, fourteen wouldn't answer, and second, he'd get annoyed and run off to another place.

 

But honestly, who wouldn't be curious? If everyone lived with a Grim Reaper all the time as I did, who wouldn't have questions? Especially after what just happened. Isn't it suspicious how Fourteen Kisses were possible? If his heart wasn't beating, what did he feel like during the kiss? Do Grim Reapers have sexual feelings like humans? Can they have sex? Do they usually have sex with other Grim Reapers or with humans as well? And what happens if they have sex with a human? Do they have hormones? And what about their reproductive system?

 

Are Grim Reapers only attracted to the opposite sex? (Probably not, Fourteen could kiss me!) Fourteen said that Grim Reapers don't have physical bodies. Does that mean they're genderless, too? And does "genderless" mean they have no sexual feelings, or do they have feelings that are not limited to any particular gender?

 

Does he have that thing? Will it get erect like a normal man's?

 

Fourteen looks exactly like P'Fah. Does that mean they must be identical in every way? But he seems more muscular. Does that mean they might not be exactly the same? He might be smaller or bigger.

 

But Fourteen seemed like a grim reaper who didn't care about anyone or anything. I don't think he's ever had sex. The reason he rejected me might be because he didn't know how, which wouldn't be surprising. Kissing can be imitated, but sex is a rather complex activity, both physically and emotionally. A mere lump of soul like Fourteen probably couldn't handle it.

 

What a pity.

 

He has such a great physique. If he were skilled in bed, he'd be incredibly charming. I'd easily give in to him just by his pointing his finger. His resemblance to P'Fah alone is already very attractive to me. If he could do what P'Fah is good at as well... he'd be an irresistible grim reaper.

 

Is it really worth trying?

 

Even if he doesn't want to do anything to me, if I get a chance to taste just a little, I wouldn't mind. Maybe it would help me forget everything, or perhaps it would alleviate the longing I have for P' Fah.

 

Or it's just...fun.

 

It would be nice if we could-

 

"Have you forgotten that I heard everything?"

 

The voice of Fourteen pierced the profound silence. When I opened my eyes and looked at him, the Grim Reaper was still sitting with his arms crossed and his eyes closed, as always.

 

"Sorry," I said softly, not really embarrassed at being caught, just a little guilty for imagining him in that way. "I couldn't sleep."

 

"Thinking about things like that, you won't be able to sleep."

 

"Well... I couldn't help it," I replied evasively. "And I was just thinking it to myself, not saying it to you."

 

"Just thinking about it is like saying it already."

 

"Then can you answer?" I blurted out. Since I couldn't sleep anyway, and he'd started the conversation, it wouldn't hurt to drag it out a bit longer, would it? "About what I'm wondering..."

 

"Why do you want to know?"

 

"I'm with you every day. How can I not have doubts about you?"

 

Fourteen fell silent. His still demeanour made me think he had dismissed my question, but a long sigh gave me hope once again.

 

"I don't know anything about the hormonal system or anything like that in the body, but yes, I can have sex. I have that thing like any other man. It can get erect. But I can't compare sizes because I don't know how big or small your boyfriend's is."

 

I blinked repeatedly at his slow, deliberate answer. Fourteen spoke as if telling a bedtime story, but the content was far from suitable for a fairy tale. Instead of making me sleepy, it made me feel more awake.

 

"Have you ever done ‘it’ before?" I asked.

 

"never"

 

"So how do you know you can do it?"

 

"Because I know what has to be done."

 

Fourteen didn't even open his eyes to look at me. He sat with his arms crossed, leaning back against the headboard, and answered my questions in a relaxed tone. But every word he spoke, every sound that came out, made me feel like I was being caressed all over. Hot flashes of heat swirled uncontrollably, and a hollow feeling in my lower abdomen made me instinctively twist my legs in discomfort.

 

"So do you want to try it?"

 

I wasn't expecting anything; I was just asking out of curiosity.

 

"No."

I wasn't really expecting it, but couldn't you hesitate for a little while?

 

"Why?"

 

"Why would I want to try it?"

 

"I don't know..." I replied softly, unsure how to steer the conversation forward. "Haven't you ever felt curious or wanted to try something?"

 

"Yes, but never with this issue."

 

"Clearly dead."

 

"You should cut back a bit."

 

"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have thought of it."

 

Honestly, I swear that wasn't what I intended to say. It's probably better to wait for fourteen to read my thoughts on something like this, even if it is...

 

"Sorry," I broke the silence when Fourteen fell silent, apologising readily. I guess I'd annoyed him again. "I've been acting a bit crazy lately, you know. Please don't mind me."

 

"What do you mean?" Fourteen opened his eyes before turning to look me in the eye. "That it's because of me."

 

"Well...you're like P'Fah," I replied softly. "I miss him."

 

"Does bothering me really make you feel better?"

 

I don't know. I'm just weak. The weaker I am, the more selfish I become. I need help. I need emotional support. I need to release this immense pressure with something crazy and irrational. I want to get rid of these feelings, even just for ten minutes.

 

"If I can't die now, I want to look at your face every day until I die."

 

Perhaps because I said that, Fourteen stopped avoiding my gaze. He stared at me, turning his face towards me as if he wanted me to look at him fully, to make it worthy of the title—the face I most wanted to see in my life.

"Okay," he nodded slowly. I didn't quite understand his answer.

 

"Means what?"

 

*If you want to do anything, just do it."

 

"Huh...huh?"

 

"As for me," the Grim Reaper's voice was devoid of any joking. It was so serious that I began to tremble, "Do whatever you want."

 

"Hey..." I stammered, a flood of words choking me. It took me several seconds to compose myself before I could slowly utter them. "Why would you say something like that? You don't need to try to please me. I was just rambling. You know I haven't been very coherent lately."

 

I did feel a desire to be close to him, but when Fourteen said, "Do whatever you want," I felt utterly disgusted. I treated him like a doll I commissioned to represent P'Fah, a mere puppet whose duty it was to fulfil my every desire without any right to resist. Isn't that incredibly immoral? Why did I dare say he was a representation of P'Fah?

 

I'm really crazy.

 

I need to pull myself back quickly.

 

"But I wasn't forcing anything, was I? I just said I allowed it," Fourteen replied with a calm, relaxed expression, as if he didn't consider it a big deal.

 

He's no longer the big shot, even though he's always tried to draw lines with me. Is this the result of my selfishness? "My duty is to ensure you continue to live."

 

"Do you think I'll die if I don't touch you?"

 

Fourteen didn't reply immediately. He tilted his head, and then the corner of his mouth curved slightly up.

 

"Oh, so he didn't die?"

 

He smiled again.

 

But it wasn't the kind smile he gave me at the beach. This time it was a wicked grin, as if he were mocking me.

 

"No, are you crazy?" I argued.

 

"Really?"

 

I froze. Suddenly, it was as if every part of my body froze, and even my breathing became laboured for a moment. Fourteen looked relaxed, at ease, while his gaze seemed to burn me coldly. He enjoyed toying with my feelings, and damn it, I actually liked it when he did.

 

This is not good at all.

 

"What?" I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. "Why are you speaking so politely?"

 

"I just thought you might like it."

 

What's going on? Since when does the Grim Reaper have the duty to please me? Since when do they choose to say only the words I want to hear? Where is the Fourteen who always interrupted everything, spoke bluntly, and showed no regard for anyone's feelings? Why are we left with only cunning Grim Reapers who use sweet talk to win us over?

 

"I don't like it," I said firmly. "Stop it."

 

"Okay," Fourteen shrugged indifferently, "so, are you going to sleep, or do you want to play with me first?"

 

"Play...what?"

 

"I don't know," he stared into my eyes again. Where did those sparkling glints come from? Those pitch-black eyes shouldn't reflect any light anymore. "Like what you imagined in your head just now?"

 

"Look for?"

 

"I even saw it as a picture."

 

Right now, I feel like I'm sitting in a bonfire. It's not just the heat anymore, but a huge raging fire engulfing me. My mind is wandering into a world of fantasy. I think just hearing my thoughts wouldn't be so bad. It's embarrassing, yes, but not that bad.

 

But if you see it as a picture...damn it.

 

I want to disappear from here right now.

 

"You have a very vivid imagination, especially when it comes to this kind of thing. It's no surprise that you create such captivating nude paintings."

 

"Draw a picture..."

 

I should stop being surprised that he knows so much about me, but it's hard. He keeps digging deeper and deeper, even into my personal passion: painting nude human bodies. I've practised this since university, even forming a group with other artists to seriously recruit models. But medical school took up so much of my time that passion had to retreat to the back shed. I only get to go back to it occasionally when I have free time. And the further I drift away, the harder it is to find models. That's why my recent work is mostly portraits of P'Fah. I stare at him for hours every day until I know every muscle in his body.

 

It's been a while since I last did this. The last time was probably when I drew a picture of P'Fah, and P'Fah drew a dragonfly.

 

"I think you should go back to painting," Fourteen said. "It might help your mental state."

 

"Or it might make things worse," I replied immediately. "Art doesn't heal everything."

 

"You haven't tried it yet."

 

"I don't have a model."

 

"What about me?"

 

I swallowed hard, even though he was still sitting in front of me, fully clothed. But the moment he tilted his head and asked, "What about me?" With that expression, the image of the handsome young Grim Reaper lying naked on the floor of my bedroom instantly flashed into my mind.

 

"I can be your model."

 

I want to tell him to strip naked, bring out my equipment and start painting right now.

 

I didn't know what to say, so I just sat there staring at him. Fourteen didn't say anything either; he just looked at me silently. But if I could hear the thoughts in his head as he could hear mine, I would be burning up right now. I felt a sudden rush of heat in my stomach again and again, because I was sure that what was on Fourteen's mind right now wasn't just the weather.

 

Perhaps it's more dangerous than I thought.

 

So what should I do?

 

Is it good to surrender?

 

I sat up and hesitantly reached out my hand to him. We were less than an arm's length apart, yet I couldn't quite reach him. Perhaps that's what frustrated Fourteen, or maybe he was just uncomfortable, because he grabbed my wrist and pulled my palm to his chest. I flinched slightly, almost pulling my hand away, but Fourteen held my wrist tightly.

 

Silence subtly settled around the bed. I could only hear my own breathing, heavier than usual. Fourteen loosened his grip, holding my wrist loosely. Seeing that I was regaining my composure, he slowly guided my gaze across his muscular body, from his chest, down the lines of muscle to his abdomen. Even the touch revealed its strength. I had seen it many times before, but I still couldn't help but feel excited at the thought that one day I might be able to photograph it on my canvas.

 

My hand crept beneath the hem of his t-shirt. Now, Fourteen had freed my hand, probably knowing that I could explore further on my own. He simply sat still, letting me touch his body beneath the clothes as I pleased. It was strange to touch him like this, but at the same time, it was so exciting that I could barely control myself. 

 

It wasn't like when I touched P'Fah. I can't say exactly how they were different, I just knew that dragging my hand over Fourteen's body made me feel like I was having passionate sex, when in reality, only I was the one using my trembling hand to invade the Grim Reaper's body.

 

Fourteen barely showed any sign of how he was feeling. He sat calmly watching my actions, his face remaining as expressionless as ever. I only noticed a slight change when I slid my hand down to the edge of his pyjama pants. Fourteen blinked more frequently than usual. He swallowed, his Adam's apple slowly rising and falling.

 

I met his gaze as my hand paused on the edge of his pants, a pause awaiting permission. Fourteen stared at my hand for a moment before his eyes met mine, a look so clear it sent shivers down my spine.

 

'Touch it."

 

I saw that word in his eyes. The excitement intensified, and I felt dizzy as my hand slid under the elastic waistband of his pants, past his underwear, one step further, before finally feeling the already erect and aroused manhood. Unbelievable. I just touched him.

 

I touched it calmly, stroking it all over beneath the soft fabric without exposing it to the outside world. I thought this would be better for a newcomer like Fourteen. He was visibly nervous when I touched him there. Fourteen tried to look away, but only for a moment. The next thing he knew, he had to look back at my hand again. Now, the interaction was me touching him, him staring at my hand, and me staring at his face again.

 

Fourteen parted his lips slightly as I playfully teased his most sensitive area with my fingertips. From what I've felt with my hands so far, I think it's no different from a typical male genitalia. The shape is correct, and it responds to stimulation both in terms of erection and ejaculation. As for the size... I think he copied it perfectly from P'Fah.

 

It’s so big.

 

The Grim Reaper exhaled sharply through his mouth, as if trying to catch his own breath. This was strange for a heartless, inhuman being; he shouldn't be able to feel his heart pounding to the point of shortness of breath. Honestly, even now, I don't understand how his body works. He seems to be able to do everything like a human—breathe, eat, and experience sexual feelings—without a heart beating. Thinking about it, I really want to specialise in the field of the afterlife.

 

"Are you okay?" I whispered softly, receiving a faint nod in response as he tilted his head back, breathing heavily like someone drowning. "How do you feel?"

 

"good"

 

He's more honest than I thought.

 

"Is that all?" I pressed on. "Explain it in more detail. You're usually so good at explaining things."

 

"It's agonising, but...good," Fourteen replied hoarsely. "I've seen it before...in human memory, in movies..."

 

"Do you want to watch the movie too?"

 

"yeah"

 

"So what did you see?"

 

"I know it would feel good if you used your mouth on it, or put it inside you. I've seen humans enjoy doing that."

 

What movies has he watched?

 

"Giving me a little?" "And what does that mean?" I said, chuckling, quickening the pace of my hand until embarrassing sounds began to sound. "You want me to do that?"

 

"nothing..."

 

"swear"

 

"I have no one to swear to."

 

I burst out laughing. So that's what he's worried about? No one to swear to? Does that mean he doesn't worship any gods at all? Not surprising. I don't think the Reapers worship anything but death.

 

"I probably can't let you go all the way," I leaned in and whispered in his ear, "but if you behave nicely, I might give in."

 

"Why are you being so clever now?" Fourteen frowned. He turned to face me. Our faces were only a short distance apart, but neither of us backed away. I liked it. I liked that Fourteen didn't push me away like he usually did.

 

"Does that mean you want my mouth?"

 

"Not at all."

 

But he hasn't completely given up yet.

 

"Really?" I smirked, moving closer until my breath mingled with his, then slowly licked his lips. At the same moment, I felt a slight twitch from the villain in my hand. "Don't you want to know what it feels like in the movies?"

 

The Grim Reaper tensed up, the veins in his neck bulging. He clenched his jaw before wrapping his arms around my waist, lifting me into the air or plopping me down on his lap. I almost forgot how strong Fourteen can be. To him, I was probably just a cheap rag doll to be lifted or tossed around wherever he pleased.

 

"Go on," he ordered when I stopped slacking off. I smiled slightly before putting my hands back to work without hesitation.

 

Fourteen grabbed my face with just one hand. He squeezed my cheeks until my mouth parted, then did the same thing he'd done to me before. His tongue licked my lips provocatively. He slipped it slightly into my mouth and then withdrew it, repeating this several times as if to tempt me to lose my patience. And yes, he succeeded. I stuck out my tongue, begging for his touch.

 

Their tongues intertwined outside their mouths, while I continued to move my hand frantically, but several minutes passed, and he showed no sign of reaching his climax.

 

It's so simple that I'm starting to wonder if Grim Reapers even have orgasms. He's not tricking me into doing this repeatedly, is he?

 

"When will this be finished?" I muttered softly. "I'm tired."

 

"When I wanted to do something, you kept bothering me. Now you're complaining."

 

"Well, you're slow."

 

"Then you should do a better job."

 

"Isn't this good enough?"

 

"Good, but you could do more."

 

"If you finish very slowly, you should go to the doctor, you know."

 

"Won...please don't upset me," Fourteen subdued me in one sentence, and it was clearly unintentional. He was just annoyed at being nagged by me, while I was feeling disoriented because he called my name in that tone. That last sentence sounded exactly like it came from P' Fah's mouth.

 

"Can you say that again?"

 

"What?" he asked, panting heavily, as I rubbed my palms against his favourite spot.

 

"Call me by my name as you did just now."

 

"Is that all you like?"

 

"I'm not difficult to please at all."

 

"Won."

 

I was almost in heaven just because he called my name. His breathless voice matched my name so perfectly. It was exactly like P'Fah was whispering in my ear. When he was intoxicated by lust, he would often call my name like that, over and over. It was hoarse, raspy, and sent shivers down my spine, bringing me to the brink of ecstasy many times.

 

"Yes," I replied, slowly moving my hips against his thighs to alleviate my own suffering.

 

"Won."

He called me again

 

"Yes."

 

And I responded again.

 

"Won."

 

again.

 

"Yes."

 

and again.

 

"Please."

 

My patience snapped. I slid down, grabbed the wicked thing that was screaming out of its defences, and shoved it into my mouth without hesitation. Fourteen groaned. That was a sound I'd never heard from him before, and neither was his expression. It wasn't the cold, irritated look, or the smug, irritating smile he usually wore. Especially when he looked at me, it was completely different.

 

Is this the first time... that I've been in control of him?

 

"Slow down." Fourteen commanded in a hoarse voice. He seemed to want to reach out and touch my head several times, but wouldn't do it. So I thought I should add a little more stimulation, hoping it would give the Grim Reaper some courage. 

 

"Won... I said, "Slow down."

 

I did the complete opposite, nodding faster and faster, even though my jaw was starting to throb. But I thought it was worth it for the impressive reaction from Fourteen. He tensed up completely, his large hand moved to my head, gripping and ruffling my hair until it hurt a little—which is exactly how it was supposed to be.

 

If you want to replace P'Fah, you have to be able to do this.

 

The Grim Reaper's long legs curled up, trapping me in the middle. His upper body, which had been leaning against the headboard, could no longer remain still. He lifted himself up, the hands that had been resting on my head now becoming two, gripping and controlling me without hesitation. At this point, I felt like my only purpose was to accommodate his raging emotions.

 

"You shouldn't do this, Won..." Fourteen whispered, his voice trembling, as his hand continued to press my head down, almost burying my face in his lap. My throat was constricted, making it difficult to breathe. A sharp pain started to sting the roof of my mouth, but stopping now was impossible. "You shouldn't... This is bad."

 

Maybe what Fourteen said is true; I shouldn't have done this. Everything might get worse. There might be endless headaches after this.

 

But it's fun.

 

Just have fun for now.

 

"Ah..." the young Grim Reaper groaned, his voice trembling. He held my head down forcefully, his body convulsing intermittently, before finally releasing in my mouth.

 

I glanced up at Fourteen. He slumped back against the headboard, sweat glistening on his face, breathing heavily as if completely exhausted. He looked both sexy and endearing at the same time. Especially those beautiful eyes that widened as I licked up the droplets—I couldn't take my eyes off them.

 

"You're so shameless!" Fourteen said irritably. He tried to push my head away, but I brushed his hand off, refusing. The first release of the Grim Reaper's desire hadn't completely subsided; it was so messy that I reluctantly used my fingers to wipe it into my mouth. "Won!"

 

He blushed, and it was unclear whether it was from anger or embarrassment.

 

Thump!

 

But whatever the emotion, it was powerful enough for the Grim Reaper to spring up and push me down onto my back in a split second. Fourteen was straddling me, his two hands gripping my wrists and pinning them to the bed, while his breathing remained faster and heavier than usual.

 

"Huh?" I wasn't surprised by the sudden attack; on the contrary, I found it inexplicably fun. Tonight, I've made Fourteen lose control several times. Isn't that impressive? "Why?"

 

I pretended to smack my face.

 

"That's enough," Fourteen said sternly. He looked like a volcano about to erupt. "You've gone too far."

 

"Really?" I said, chuckling. "I didn't even realise."

 

"When I speak nicely to you, at least try to listen."

 

"What if I don't listen?" I smirked, honestly admitting that I was deliberately challenging the Grim Reaper's authority. I was dying to know just how much power Fourteen possessed. "What are you going to do to me?"

 

I tilted my head to look at him, while simultaneously raising my knee to rub against his recently calmed groin without fear. Fourteen gritted his teeth, closing his eyes as if suppressing his emotions with all his might.

 

"I was so scared, it was going to be terrible."

 

Fourteen took another deep breath, but it seemed to help nothing. We made eye contact. I pleaded with him through my eyes, while Fourteen was struggling with himself. I knew it was incredibly difficult because his hand had now moved to the edge of my pyjama pants.

 

Go ahead, Mr Grim Reaper.

 

Strip me naked.

 

While we were both testing each other, the vibrating cell phone shattered the silence. It was my phone, of course. Ever since the incident with Gloy, I've become the centre of attention again. Reporters and police have been calling nonstop, dozens of calls a day. And that's not even including Chieng and Big Brother, who call even more frequently than the others.

 

When did I accidentally leave my phone turned on?

 

"What are you interested in? It's just the phone ringing," I said when I saw Fourteen turn to look in the direction of the sound. My phone continued to vibrate on the table.

 

"You should have answered that call," Fourteen replied before releasing my wrist. He stood up from me, adjusting his clothes, while I could only get up, my mouth agape, watching him go with utter regret.

 

"you..."

 

"Wipe your mouth and go answer the call."

 

Upon returning to reality, the cold-hearted Grim Reaper resumed his duties. Fourteen gave a calm order before heading to the bathroom. With a blank expression, he left me staring after him, helpless and unable to do anything.

 

Just a little more, really.

 

I clicked my tongue in annoyance, but I reluctantly got up to grab a tissue to wipe my mouth as he instructed. Then I walked over to my annoying phone, which was still vibrating incessantly. I didn't want to answer anyone; I just wanted to see who was calling at this hour. When I get back to Fourteen, I'll just hang up and say it's a reporter calling, and that'll be the end of it.

 

But what appeared on the screen made me think again.

 

'wild yam'

 

That's the name that appears on the screen.