My Stuborn: English translation

[After the day of leaving the Sorn house]

 

The sound of the phone vibrating on the table, but the owner didn't pay attention. The phone vibrated for a while, then the call was cut off before the battery warning sounded. The young man was still sitting, looking at the TV screen that was left open, with only the sound breaking the silence. He didn't have much to look at it because his head was thinking about the past image that had happened in this house when someone else was there.

 

Juwin came to eat at the table. “Why do you like to eat in front of the TV?”

"Well, it's better to watch TV here. It's good to sit and eat here."

 

“Will the ants come up? If you eat something, spill it and don't wipe it clean, it bites me again.”

"I didn't eat that much. I stopped complaining and brought rice to eat. This is coming'

 

'Okay, you or I are the owner of the house for sure.'

 

Even though I complained, I still took the plate and sat down to eat with the person who was watching Conan cartoons.

 

'P' Sorn, the laundry detergent is out of stock. Can I borrow a car to buy things in front of the village?' The yell of the bastard from downstairs called him, who was vacuuming in the bedroom.

 

'I'll go with you,' he shouted back before cleaning again. After a little bit, he packed the vacuum cleaner. Then he went downstairs and saw Juwin taking a mop to collect. The living room floor and kitchen were shiny because Juwin had just finished scrubbing.

 

Are you definitely going to buy laundry detergent or snacks, Juwin? I saw you only pick up cornflakes and snacks.' He chose to go to the nearby supermarket instead because he had to buy a lot of things for the house.

 

I bought it to eat for breakfast. When I didn't have time to eat breakfast, I ate it like a Westerner.'

 

'I'm going to eat a Western-style meal again, Ti.' He crushed my hair with his fingers before pushing the food cart after the person who had gone ahead and run away.

'Lonely' is the first word that comes to mind. He used to feel this way a long time ago. It was when I had to go to Bangkok. At first, I was alone. And now this feeling is back again. Everything around the body seems quiet, even though it used to be like this, but he didn't feel it at all.

 

Before Juwin moved in with him, he made an appointment with Champ and Thai to drink together like young men. Or if you don't want to go anywhere, go home to clean the house for a while and watch TV. Take some work to do, alternating with watching the work that the bow sent by email about the garden at home. His life revolves around work. Or when there was a need, he went to find Penny.

 

But that was a long time ago since he had sex with Penny. He still had some contact with the other side because he often met at the company. But in bed, he longed to do more with Juwin. He felt like hugging the bad boy more than his old partner, trying to stay away from Juwin. But the more he thought about it, the more attracted to Juwin he became until in the end, he almost didn't want to be away from him.

 

He didn't think that Juwin had left home this time and wouldn't come back.

 

Moving to work is also considered a significant achievement. Where did you go to complete the internship, even though the service period is not yet due? At first, he thought that the bad boy would take a day or two off. But after 4 days, he didn't find it at all. Contacted and did not answer the phone. Read the message, leave it and do not answer, as if he wanted to test his patience to the end. Then it became a block line and phone number in the end.

 

The canned beer was kept in the refrigerator. Only the last three cans were left because he had almost drunk water instead. He sighed when the drink was about to relieve loneliness. So Sorn decided to pick up the car key and drive out of the house to buy more beer.

 

If it were before, he would have lit a cigarette. But because of the words of the child who used to talk about him smoking, he agreed to quit. At first, he was still suffering a little. But when he stopped, he didn't think of going back again. Why didn't you think about him at this point? At the point of changing himself for it without knowing it?

 

Now his consciousness is almost not with himself because he is constantly thinking about where to go to Juwin. Don't think that a dear friend like Thai will help him. That person is the only one who, no matter what he does, will never sympathise. Because he pushed to make Thai's beloved brother regret, he has to accept this kind of karma.

 

The phone is still vibrating. He turned the sound off, then turned it back on. You don't have to look at the screen to know who is calling. Now, Champ almost burned his head because the work he is responsible for is being solved by the other party. He admits that Juwin's disappearance this time has left him quite upset. No longer the stain of the office boy. And it's hard to get back to the same as soon as you can.

"Take a box of beer," Sorn told Tao at the grocery store. Fortunately, this shop closed late because it's past eight p.m. When he finished shopping, he drove outside the city. Now that I'm back home, I'm unsure of what to do. Keep moving and enter the familiar route. He often drives here but can't find what he's looking for. I came today to see if I can find it again.

 

Sorn turned on the light to illuminate only one house in front of the house. The iron door was closed entirely, indicating that the owner of this house had all entered the house. He parked the car on the opposite side and turned off the engine. Open the window to ventilate the vehicle. Pick up the chilled beer that was bought separately and drink it. The sharp eyes of the southern man stared at the house as if afraid that it would disappear in a minute.

 

At first, he was confident that Juwin would come back because people like Juwin can go anywhere. But now there is a distraction to take it instead because his confidence has been reduced. The other day, he came to see Juwin here. He came to wait because he thought he would meet, but instead met Poi Sian. Plus, the other party seems to be unaware of the story between him and Juwin, and why they had quarrelled. 

 

Champ: Where did you lose your head, Sorn?

Champ: You bastard! Answer me now!

Champ: Are you dead?

Champ: Where are you?

Champ: If you don't answer the phone, I'll stop being friends, asshole!

 

Messages were sent a lot. The message said that the sender was angry. Champ called again, so he answered the phone, but he was well. But the eyes still did not leave the door of Juwin's house in case the naughty boy would appear.

 

"Well"

 

[Well, what the fuck, motherfucker! You concluded the wrong price for Vietnam and also sent the wrong order. The latest furniture file was not sent to me. Where are you? Turn on the computer to solve the urgent work. Miss June will take it tonight. Champ said he had been barely breathing for a long time, afraid that his best friend would cut off the call first.

 

"I'm outside now."

[Where are you?]

 

"In front of Juwin's house"

 

[What are you doing in front of Juwin's house?] Champ asked back, in a confused, doubtful tone. The distance from Sorn's house to Juwin's house is not small at all. But the good friend still drives at this time. Until I get home again, I don't know what time it is.

 

"I came to wait for him"

 

[You invested in driving a car in front of the house? Wow... My friend]

"He has to come home one day. Dad and sister are here. Where are they going?

 

Yes," Sorn replied while sipping the beer and drinking it until the end of the can and then opening the can.

 

[Are you drinking?]

 

Sorn didn't answer. Now he's getting more frustrated because it's almost 8 p.m., but he hasn't seen Juwin yet. He doesn't think about coming home or anything. Now, where are you going to sleep? Where are you renting a room? He said he wanted to save money to help his sister, but he lost his mind.

 

"Nong Rak, you guys are stubborn. Where are you going to run away from me?" Champ heard Sorn's sentence and sighed. Look at the gesture and this event, Thai will play a serious evil friend. And he can't help because it's just work, his head is bad. Have to follow and fix for Sorn, who is now almost conscious of himself. He has changed into a different person.

 

[The last time I talked to Juwin, he was fine.]

 

"When! When! Why didn't you tell me?" Sorn's heart beat when he heard that Champ could contact Juwin. Of course, because he was a champion, the bastard agreed to talk. As for him, he even sent a hundred more messages. Call until the line burned, but he didn't answer.

 

[Yesterday evening, I tried to say hello to Juwin, but he didn't reply. Where are you? Just say that you are still in the same internship and the new job is fun.]

 

"Did he talk about me?" Sorn asked in a flat voice. He thought he was angry that he let Juwin get out of his hand. Now, the feeling of thinking, being angry, and wanting to talk to each other.

 

[No, I'll be silent when I talk about you.]

 

"Does he hate me?" He accidentally said what he thought. [You want his sister to feel about you. You have to understand your own feelings. First, Sorn. No one hopes that the person we like or don't like will answer. He wants to be the same.]

 

"Well, here it is! I already like it. What else do you want? When I talk to each other, we choose to run away like this." The fist clenched before he slammed down on the steering wheel of the car hard to vent his emotions. [Are you sure that you really like him, not to satisfy your feelings.

 

You want to defeat the child. Try to calm yourself. Go back to work and do everything normally to see how it is. In case you know how you feel about Juwin. Sometimes the two of you should be conscious and be with yourself first so that you know whether to move forward or stop.]

 

"I don't stop!" Sorn immediately replied to his best friend until the other party sighed [Eh! Follow your heart! Run to find it as a crazy dog, don't worry! I don't understand anymore. And don't forget the work. Because if you miss the job again, June won't take you.]

 

Champ hung up with the arrow that left his head against the steering wheel. He didn't want to stop wanting to defeat the bad boy who dared to escape in front of him like this. It was courageous of him to leave with words and eyes. It stuck with everything, and it made him feel even more inclined to look for it to talk about it.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

Sorn came to work as usual in the morning. Last night, it was 1:00 a.m. Solve the work for Miss June, it was two o'clock. Before I could go to sleep, it was almost morning, and I woke up to work as usual. He used to work day and night before. The matter of getting little rest is not a concern for him.

 

Thai is still the same as before. Work and personal matters are seldom discussed at work. In the office, no one knows that they have a big problem. Many people asked about Juwin in the early days. But Thai answered that he had gone to do an internship elsewhere. Although there are many doubts about where and how to train, Thai was silent. He just said that he was still working on behalf of the company.

 

During the day, he secretly took a nap in the kitchen because he felt so sleepy that he could hardly sit at work. The young aunt found a small pillow to support his neck so it would not hurt as much. As for lunch, he was not hungry, but Champ still bought him noodles.

 

"It's your regular store. I can order it quickly. If I don't order it first, I won't be able to eat," Champ said with a bowl and chopsticks in front of him.

 

Sorn's condition today doesn't look very bland at all. He looks awkward, but he can still work and talk about work. Last night, Miss June didn't wait for work but came to have sex in the morning. Sorn survived being scolded because he fixed the job. But he was also warned not to miss it again, because since working on the team he has never done anything wrong like this. The more it is Sorn, the less he has to talk about this kind of thing. But because there is a story that makes a good friend fall out of focus.

 

"Thank you," Sorn replied briefly, looking at the noodle bag on the table from the same shop that He and Juwin used to buy and eat together.

 

"Champ... Thai, didn't he tell you anything?"

"No, keep quiet. Have you tried to ask Win?"

"Win didn't tell me"

 

He asked Win many times, but Win didn't answer. He was tough like his brother. He sighed like a man before opening the noodle bag and pouring its contents into the bowl. At first, he was not hungry, but after smelling it for a long time, his stomach began to protest. He had to eat hard first because he could continue looking for Juwin.

 

In the evening, Sorn came home from the previous day. He came back to take a shower and get dressed up to go out to see Franz at the store. He drove to his own shop around 7 p.m. The shop was already open.

 

Since the evening, some customers have been coming in sporadically, but it will be a little more after 9 p.m.

 

"Do you come to drink alcohol from the beginning of the day?" The first greeting from the shop owner makes people sit and quietly drink in a private corner.

 

"Pretend to be quiet. What's wrong? Stressed about work." Sorn didn't answer, and Franz couldn't continue asking. He separated to see customers and his subordinates' work. Let Sorn sit and drink alone quietly.

 

Kor spent some time here and then returned. He said goodbye to France, who was busy, and the party shouted after him to send this month's account to his email and check it. The arrow left the store slightly dizzy but still able to drive.

 

He drove out of the city along the same route as the previous night until he stopped in front of a house. He deliberately parked the car so it would not be visible from the front of Juwin's house, because he was afraid the people in the house would notice it first. A car was parked in front of Juwin's house. The arrow stared into the darkness, lit only by the light from the electric pole, to see who was in the car. My heart was pounding in my chest, almost falling out, when he thought he was going to meet Juwin again.

 

But then I was disappointed when the person who got out of the car was Poy Xian. He withdrew.

 

Breathing deeply while leaning against the backrest, the big hand raised to massage the throbbing temples until the headache started to subside. Prank Sorn: Juwin, don't you really want to talk to me? Prank Arrow: Can you not open your lungs?

 

Prank: Let's meet face-to-face, and let's clear it directly. Drop the bomb and run away. Is it like this? Every message he sent was unanswered as before....

 

Pick!!

 

The heavy punch smashed down on the steering wheel until it hurt, but it didn't shake his heart because his mind was now so distracted that he couldn't do anything anymore. The longer the frustration lasts, the more intense it becomes, until he feels like he's not the same arrow anymore. The arrow drives home at midnight when he's sure that the naughty boy won't.

 

Back home again as usual. When I went back, I kept thinking about something, plus the road was clear, so I was not very careful. And because of this absent-mindedness, I almost collided with a motorcycle at the turning point.

 

Squeak!!

 

He gripped the steering wheel tightly and stepped on the brake in shock. His absent-mindedness almost caused an accident. He also drank with him if something happened to him. It was utterly wrong without any investigation.

 

Until finally, Sorn arrived home safely. He walked into the house without turning on a single light. Relying on the habit and the light from the light in front of the house only before walking upstairs and entering the room, the room where he often comes to sleep.

 

On the wide-back bed, there is a unicorn doll lying as a friend. He unpacked it from the box so that he would not feel that the side was too broad to sleep alone. Arrow left him to sleep like that. He was too lazy to take a shower, too lazy to do everything, even to move. Lie down, looking at the ceiling through the darkness, while reviewing what he is doing now.

 

Because he just feels ashamed to be ignored by children, or because he already likes children.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

"Oh!! I'm all shocked, Sorn." James cried when he opened the fire escape door to go down to the 15th floor. Then he met a young man with a beard and a downcast face that didn't match his appearance. I used to be handsome every day, but he was careless. Sorn's condition doesn't look good now, and he was so hard that the team members began to worry.

 

Champ looked at his friend, who was now in a state like a forest thief every day, sighing with exhaustion, with the arrow at work day and night until he made his subordinates. Other people are stressed.

 

"Thai, how are you, Juwin? I'm busy. I didn't talk to him at all." Champ turned to ask the people who were working next to each other. This one is fun to solve, the spicy one, because in addition to not telling anyone where Juwin is, he doesn't even care about Sorn's shabby condition.

 

"I'm fine. I saw that the work was fun and I met a lot of good colleagues." Thai answered in a smooth voice without taking his eyes off the computer screen.

 

"Are you serious?"

 

"If you don't believe it, it's your business. And don't come to ask me about Juwin to get it. Tell the news to Sorn, too."

 

"You're mean. Don't you feel sorry for him?"

 

"Why do you feel sorry for him? Why does it make my brother feel sorry for him?" Champ even smiled when he saw Thai's cruelty. It has no mercy on friends who have been together for years. Because the arrow was pushed to twitch the gland, making Huang love Thai. Even though Thai doesn't take care of Juwin all the time, he always sends him care. When Juwin is hit like this, his brother, who belongs to a different bloodline, such as Thai, cannot stop the arrow from playing.

 

Loei

 

"But Sorn is already repentant. He drove to wait for Juwin to arrive in front of Go Nueng's house. It's been a few days."

 

"What did he do at Juwin's house?" Champ's words immediately caught Thai's interest.

 

"He went to catch Juwin, thinking he would be going back home. But looking at this condition, I don't think he can find Juwin." Champ said while talking to another dear friend who was sitting not far away. Sorn sat with a black face, stressed with work, and almost didn't eat or sleep. He told him to be crazy about work, but he didn't care. Now Sorn can nearly count words. No matter where you walk, it's like there is a dark shadow that no one wants to get close to anymore.

 

Thai looks at the person with a messy beard. The darker the skin colour, the more brutal the other person's face looks if you ask them if they feel sorry for Sorn, like this, not at all, people like Sorn.

 

If you don't really find it, there's no way to get your back bent like this. And now that the arrow is receiving, it's worth it with the stubborn, heavy mouth.

 

During the lunch break, others gradually went to have lunch, and Sorn was still sitting in the same place. Today, he felt more headaches. Maybe because he didn't get enough sleep, carrying the work back home. Before I could sleep, it was almost morning every night. Last night, he drove to wait for the other person's house again. Deliberately went a little early at 7 p.m., but did not find Juwin.

Loei

 

When he sat with his eyes closed, gently massaging his temples, he took a moment to assess his posture. If he were still acting like this, Migraine would have asked for it. And other illnesses may follow for sure. He decided to get up and go downstairs to find something to eat. Now it's almost one o'clock in the afternoon, and it's expected that people will have tired eyes. He walked around the alley, lined with restaurants to choose from, until he decided on an à la carte restaurant with southern curry rice and ordered two side dishes for 50 baht. Sitting and eating, I had to put down the spoon because I saw someone walking in front of the store.

 

Juwin!

 

The young man did not wait to rush out of the store immediately to catch up with the young boy. The student who had passed by. He looked for a long time and found that the other party was heading towards the alley that passed through to the Tokyo store. The first smile that had not happened for several days appeared on the sharp face of the southern man. From finding it, it was almost impossible to turn the earth. But the chapter will meet easily.

 

Sorn ran behind the person who was dozens of steps away from him. People jostled each other to rush to buy things and to keep working, making it inconvenient to walk. But even so, he did not give up trying to bring himself to the young student in front of him, with his eyes still staring at the back without looking at him. Long legs changed from walking to running when he fell out of the crowd of working-age people. He didn't think to let the other party escape from his eyes for a minute. His heart beats in his chest because he is both happy and satisfied that he has finally found Juwin.

 

"Juwin!" The arrow was called while snapping the other person's shoulder and holding it to turn his head to meet.

 

Well, he caught it before arriving at the Tokyo dessert shop, which was a few steps away. But then the smile that had popped up earlier gradually faded, turning into a smile.

 

"I'm not named Juwin." The person who was greeted replied with a puzzled face, saying he had been greeted by a young man he had never met. He smiled helplessly at the man with a moustache. He would laugh. He didn't dare because he would be scolded. When is the face of the person who said something a little cruel?

"Sorry, I said hello to the wrong person." Sorn apologised to the student who probably came here to do an internship as well. The young boy walked away, leaving only Sorn, who was still numb, his face.

 

He sighed heavily at the bad feeling. No matter how hard he tried to work and calm down, in the end, he couldn't stand to look for Juwin, because he hoped that one day it would pass and he could go in and talk to him again.

 

"Did you come alone?" The Tokyo candy seller asked with a smile. Sorn smiled and nodded in response. He ordered five pieces of Tokyo snacks with a total filling. He thought he would take it to the office and spread it to his two best friends.

 

When he returned to the building where he worked, he stopped by the 15th floor to talk to Wednesday about Juwin. But that party didn't know where Juwin went. I only knew that he had moved the internship. When I asked Juwin, the bastard didn't answer. He refused to tell anyone where he went for an internship, and neither Pae nor Ae know.

 

Woop...

 

"Wow!! Brother Sorn!!"

 

While he was walking up the stairs to escape the fire to the 16th floor, Sorn had a good feeling that Korn would come to pick him up in time; otherwise, his head would have hit the ground. Korn supported Sorn into the office until Thai found him, so he rushed in.

 

"P'Sorn's face is dark, almost fell down the stairs, Brother Thai." Korn quickly said before receiving a fierce look from a big guy whose face was no longer as handsome as before. He promptly fled before being hit by Sorn.

 

"Did you get some sleep?" The tension that had been present in the early days began to fade. Thai received an inhaler from Praew to Sorn, but he brushed it off. He put a big bag on the table but said it was not allowed to eat. Thai shook his head at the stubbornness of his best friend before picking up the snack to eat.

 

"I'm fine."

 

"It's okay, it's almost a head. Choose to do it well." Sorn didn't answer but accepted the inhaler. Let's smell before applying the inhaler to the aching temple.

 

"If you work hard like this, be careful, you'll collapse one day. Champ warned you not to do it; don't listen to him." Thai complained fiercely and looked at his friend without taking his eyes off his friend. Now, Champ goes out to meet customers with Sorn at the office.

 

"You tell me where Juwin is."

 

"I can only say that Juwin didn't go back home. You stop driving back and forth for hours, wasting both fuel and time. Then I would feel perfect if you set your mind, sit and understand your own feelings about what happened. How did it happen? And when did it happen? Not looking for my brother like a crazy person. My brother is clear about himself. As for you, find your own clarity. Don't do anything useless."

 

Thai's words made Sorn think over and over again about what his friend wanted to convey. But one thing to consider is that Thai still has some mercy on him, since he did not go home. But did not tell more about where he is. Therefore, he would have to keep talking.

 

When Sorn got home, he took off his clothes and went to the bathroom. He stood looking at himself in the mirror, which now appeared a little different. The face with a cloudy beard did not make him want to pick up the shaver to shave his face as smoothly as before. He looked at his current condition, which was far from the old joke.

 

"I used to think about saying that I care about myself because of myself. Don't bring Hia Thai to claim or not?' Juwin's words, which he remembered Mae Nuak having said, came back to his mind again. He turned on the water. Flowing from head to toe, thinking about what the naughty boy said. Is there a time when he is worried again? From the heart, it's not just because Juwin is Thai's beloved brother.

 

The answer is.... Yes, and most importantly, it's not just once, but many times that he took the phrase 'Ai Juwin Nong Ai Thai' very seriously, to the point of deleting his own actions. Whether it was before the quarrel or many years ago, due to his prejudice against children, he chose to ignore the other person. However, even so, the closeness that develops each year can lead to intimacy without one's awareness.

 

His mouth said that he didn't like Juwin, but in the end, he still wanted to tease the other person. He liked Juwin's face when he pouted because he was poked by him the most. The lips were full of complaining as if they looked so cute that they were too pretty. When he got new braces and was not used to having them in his mouth, they looked funny. Because whatever he said, it seems like someone is always sucking something in his mouth. If you want to bite or eat anything, you have to be careful because he often complains that the dentist scolds him.

 

He may not know Juwin as well as Thai or Win, but he has seen the other for a long time. So long that he almost forgot what the first feeling was when he saw that child's face, because he only knows that the only feeling is happy, not lonely, when Juwin is.

 

If you think about it, the phrase 'he doesn't like children' is just an excuse to protect his own feelings. Because deep down, those prejudices disappear when he really learns the identity of Juwin. The child he didn't like at the time turned out to be the person he misses the most now. He said that he dismissed his own thoughts. Cover up the feeling that he used to feel that he was strange by giving the reason that he just wanted to seduce the child. Put a crazy rule between him and Juwin, who had a distorted relationship, and told himself that it was fun that he just did with Juwin.

 

Until now, every reason he dug up to protect his own heart has begun to disappear. There is only a clear feeling of how much he needs. If there is a chance, he will be willing to tell him everything. Everything he feels, he will do to the best of his ability, so that the child does not slip out of his hands again.