Duang With You

"Khonfu, Papa will be back soon, okay?"

 

"Woof! Woof!"

 

"You're such a good barker now that we've moved here."

 

It's been almost a month since the semester started, and nearly two months since Duang and Quinn moved to this neighbourhood. It's not too far from the university, and since they drive anyway, they just have to wake up a bit earlier. They still shower together as usual, but now with the added bonus of Khonfu being extremely happy with the new house.

 

"Be good at home, okay? Papa has filled your water and food. Don't forget to eat... Good girl. Be a good girl, okay?"

 

Duang starts the car while waiting for Quinn to lock up the house. He waves goodbye to Khonfu, who barks repeatedly as if wondering why she isn't being taken along like usual.

 

"She looks so down. You're worried about her, aren't you?"

 

"It's her first time being home alone, Duang."

 

"You even bought cameras to watch her all the time. If anything happens, we can come back in time. Relax, okay?" Duang's large hand ruffles the hair of the anxious Quinn.

 

Quinn has indeed installed about four surveillance cameras in the house and downloaded an app to keep an eye on their little girl while they're away. He's got the heart of a mother... Oops, I mean a father. 

 

"Good luck, Sophomore!"

 

"Tell that to yourself, Duang. You have more classes than I do."

 

"Heh."

 

"I'll probably end up bringing you food and drinks. You'll be stuck in the studio and won't come home."

 

"Of course I'll come home. Studies are secondary. You come first, always." Duang turns the steering wheel and drives into the university.

 

As usual, he drops Quinn off first since Quinn has earlier classes. He often spends time chatting with Jettana, who also arrives early, as Jettana says staying in the dorm is depressing. When it's time for class, Duang lets Quinn know.

 

Duang's sophomore year is quite tough, with elective courses that have so many credits that it's overwhelming-courses which aren't available in the first year, and others like Art Composition and Applied Drawing...Just thinking about them makes him feel exhausted.

 

Oh well, I'll probably get through it. His first-year grades are impressive enough that his mom keeps giving him money, much to his older brother's annoyance.

That's what happens when you're the favourite child.

 

"Study hard, okay? See you in the evening."

 

"You too, study hard."

 

Quinn ruffles Duang's hair until it's a mess before getting out of the car, leaving the hopeless romantic staring after him until he disappears from sight. Only then does Duang drive off, pulling out his phone to kill time while stuck in traffic. He decides to bother Jettana.

 

"Where are you, you idiot?"

[In Korea, duh.]

 

"Stop joking. Tell me the truth."

[I'm in Korea, Seoul to be exact. Okay, fine, I'm sitting around Yeonnam-dong eating ice cream. What's up?]

 

"Jettana, today's the first day of the semester, you idiot."

[Cheewin, listen to me carefully.]

 

Duang parks the car but doesn't turn off the engine, knowing this is going to be a long conversation. He needs to find out why Jettana is in Korea on the first day of the semester. It's not like him at all. He's been completely MIA during the break... Or could it be...

 

[I'm no longer Mr Casanova. I'm Mr Hopeless Romantic now.]

"Jettana, who the hell did you fall for? Someone all the way over there?"

 

[Not telling. Let you wonder... Hey, why do you wake up so early?]

 

"Is it a foreigner?" Duang shouts as if Jettana is nearby. He can hear him talking to someone in English, barely audible, but nonstop. He wishes Quinn were here. So Quinn could interpret for a clueless guy like Duang.

 

[No, no. They're Thai. Oh, wait, they said they're part Chinese.]

 

"Fair-skinned?"

[All over.]

 

"You've definitely got this in the bag."

I never miss. Jettana's got this.]

 

"I'm so surprised. So you have a thing now? You went all the way there to see them? When did you meet? You didn't tell me anything!"

 

[Calm down, dude. We're not a thing... It's hard to explain. I'm just here for a trip, kind of casually passing by.]

 

"You casually passed by Yeonnam-dong? You idiot."

 

[Why are you calling me so much? It's too late now. I only see you as a friend.] 

Jettana says dramatically.

 

"I was going to ask you to grab something to eat before class. You usually come early."

[Sorry, I flew in last night.]

 

"Fucking hell. Not studying anymore, are you?" You're dumb. No one studies during the first week. Professors just hand out syllabi and dismiss class. Don't make me explain. I'm tired of talking. That's it. Don't call me again. We're done, okay?]

 

Duang wants to scream like Jettana usually does. As soon as he finishes speaking, he hangs up. Duang doesn't even get a chance to interrogate him further. From Mr Casanova to Mr Hopeless Romantic? For heaven's sake.

 

"Duang!"

"Damn it, Pae. You're here early, too?" 

 

Duang waves over another close friend who walks in with dark circles under his eyes.

 

"Yeah, my girl woke up to give alms to the monks, so I figured since I was up, I might as well come."

 

"Did you know Jettana's in Korea right now?"

 

"Why? Is he working there illegally?"

 

"He's chasing someone there."

 

"Seriously?" Pae almost chokes on his coffee upon hearing that. Jettana? Really?

 

"Seriously. He was chatting with them in English. I really wanted to eavesdrop, but I couldn't understand a word."

 

"Maybe he just wants a night with them. But he's going all out, following them there."

 

"Since when did he become the type to go all-in after what he wants?"

 

"Who knows? But why go so far? Or maybe he's just messing with you."

 

"Could be."

 

"You can't expect anything from him. He's hard to understand, like he's high every day, even though he's completely clean. Doesn't even smoke."

 

"True. Talking to him gives me a headache."

 

"Maybe he's on a family trip and just teasing you."

 

"I'll think of it that way. He called me dumb for coming to class. Said professors just hand out syllabi on the first day."

 

"Just wait. The faculty's professors will assign ten projects in five minutes."

 

"True. I'm waiting for him to crash and burn by the weekend, scrambling to finish everything."

 

"Alright, let's go. The others are already in the building. I just saw them. Everyone's early today. Must be lonely."

 

"Guess so."

 

Duang walks into the faculty building with his friend, still thinking about Jettana.

If Jettana really has a thing... Wow, it's going to be quite fantastic, for sure.

 

• · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

 

"Jettana, huh?"

 

"Yeah, I'm all salty now."

 

"Salty? What does that even mean?"

 

"Like, I'm mad he didn't tell me." Starting the semester, l've already picked up so many new slang terms. Quinn shakes his head in exasperation at my knack for coming up with random expressions. He chews on his noodles for a while before telling me,

 

"Remember when we went to Chiang Mai in December?"

 

"Uh-huh."

 

"Do you remember when you were on the phone, and Jettana asked to talk to me?"

 

"I kind of remember." I scoop a shrimp wonton into his bowl. It's a habit now. I'm always afraid he won't eat enough. No matter how much I have to endure, my boyfriend must live comfortably. That's my life motto.

 

"Jet asked me what the difference is between liking someone and being interested in someone."

 

"And what did you say? Cough cough." I almost choke. Seriously? Jettana, asking such a profound question? Is that even possible?

 

"I told him that if you're interested in someone, it doesn't matter if you get them or not. There will always be others you're interested in."

 

"..."

 

"But if you like someone, you probably wouldn't want to let them go."

 

I clutch my chest.

Here we go.

We're all doomed. 

 

"He's really in Korea. I see him post on his IG story."

 

"Maybe he's with his family, pranking you. You always overreact."

 

"You sound just like Pae. But I think he really has a girlfriend."

 

"Well, let's wait and see.. It'll be fun."

 

It's not fun at all. I hold back tears. We're all doomed because if he's in love, he'll go all out, even more than I would. And everyone says, with your first love, your heart always breaks. Who's lucky enough to be like me? I don't want to console someone who's always joking around when they're heartbroken. Not me.

 

"Don't overthink it."

 

"Oh, c'mon."

 

"Let it be," Quinn says, picking up Khonfu and giving her a big kiss on the head.

 

"Khonfu, Papa loves you so much. He doesn't eat at the restaurant and brings food home, making this papa wash the dishes."

 

"I'll wash them myself."

 

"I'll wash them. I drank milk this morning. That glass is mine."

 

"You said it yourself."

 

"Yes, sir. I'll take good care of you."

 

"Khonfu, have you thanked Papa yet? ... Thank you, Papa."

 

My heart melts at the sweet voice Quinn uses with Khonfu, pretending to speak for her. I'm so in love. I admit it. I admit to all charges.

 

"This morning, I watched her through the CCTV. She plays by herself so well," says Quinn

 

"Just like you, haha."

 

"True. She's so much like me."

 

"Well, she's your dog. You pick her out from the farm yourself." I laugh as I say it. Quinn chooses her because she doesn't bark. So typical of him...

 

I stand washing the bowls, spoons, chopsticks, and glasses, cleaning up the area. If my mom sees this, she'll probably cry. She always says having a son is heartbreaking because he loves his partner more than his mom.

 

I really want to argue, but well... Heh, I'm the ungrateful son, for sure.

 

"Is there a lot of work on the first day?"

 

"So much. They assign things months in advance. What about you?"

 

"I have a Jazz Ear Training assignment. That's the one I need to practice a lot."

 

"The one where you do the listening practice?"

 

"Yeah. Sometimes it's too hard. The professor acts like we're born experts."

 

"You're so cute when you complain."

 

"Like hell I am...And there is a Jazz Keyboard Skills class. Good thing I brought my keyboard from home. First year isn't too bad, but the second year is full-on. I'm so tired of it."

 

I listen to him complain. I can listen forever. I want to know everything about his life.

After finishing the chores, I go to sit and watch TV with Quinn and Khonfu. Our daughter lies on Quinn's lap, already so big that I think by the time she turns one, she might be much larger than her peers.

 

"Do you think she's too big?"

 

"Not at all."

 

"This is exactly the vibe P' Daonuea gives when he looks at you, as if you're only three centimetres tall."

 

"Speaking of P' Daonuea, he just complained yesterday that P' Fah is the worst."

 

"Oh no, what did they fight about?"

 

"I was confused too, so I messaged P'Fah to check if it was serious. But then I remembered-they never really fight. Turns out P' Fah ate P' Daonuea's last piece of chocolate. He cried so loudly that it echoed through the house. Seriously, P'Fah even recorded it."

 

"That's adorable. Like a little kid."

 

"Right?" Quinn sighs, shaking his head with a small smile. Who wouldn't find him endearing? We keep chatting casually. 

 

Quinn mentions that someone in his year has to drop out because she got pregnant. He even tells me to remind Pae to be careful because he's not ready to be an uncle to his friend's kid yet. I don't think he's a big fan of kids. Just my guess.

 

"Do you not want kids?"

 

"I already have one." His long finger points at Khonfu, who is snoring softly on his lap.

 

"A baby, Quinn. Marriage."

 

"Never wanted one."

 

"Same here."

 

"It's not because I'm dating you that I'm saying this. I just feel like I can't take responsibility for something that big. And I don't really want to get married either."

 

"But I want to marry you."

 

"Let's make it to ten years first, then we'll talk."

 

"Ten years? I was planning to get married right after graduation."

 

"With what money? Save up first. Take it easy."

 

I grin. That means he's planning a future with me, too. I play with his hand absentmindedly as we watch TV and scroll through our phones until it's time to shower. We always shower together, especially since we have early classes the next day. If we don't get to bed on time, we'll definitely be doomed tomorrow.

 

"Goodnight, Duang."

 

"Goodnight, babe."

 

"Thanks for today."

 

And that's how a day with Quinn usually goes-simple and ordinary.

 

• · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

 

"Thank you for today, too, my good boy."

But it's the happiest kind of ordinary.

 

"So, where's the souvenir from Korea? You were there for a week, Jettana."

 

"I asked them what I should bring back for people in Thailand."

 

"Uh-huh."

 

"They said not to bother. Waste of money."

"...'

 

"Damn, who is this person? So bold."

 

"Not telling." Jettana sticks out his tongue teasingly.

 

"A secret, huh? Don't tell me... Are you being the homewrecker?"

 

"Definitely not. They don't want to be in a relationship, and they don't want to be with me either."

 

Duang laughs, and so does Pae, who nearly bursts out laughing. Poor Jettana... But this person sounds exactly like Jettana's type.

 

"Jettana."

 

"What?"

 

"So, they're exactly your type, huh? You once told me you like people who don't care about you."

 

"Yeah, well, they really don't care this time. Happy now?" Mr Hopeless Romantic laughs awkwardly.

 

"See? I told you it's not fun."

 

"It's still fun for now... I just like them."

 

"Just like them,' and you went all the way there? Seriously?"

 

"I went on a trip, okaaaaay?!"

 

"Where did you go? Spill." Duang presses.

 

"All over, you idiot. They're into fashion. We checked out art exhibits, drank coffee, and bought designer clothes."

 

"Sounds like they're loaded."

 

"I felt like I was just a stray dog, honestly."

 

"You already are. I won't argue."

 

Jettana playfully smacks his friend. The tall guy sighs, thinking about how chaotic it all is, but somehow, it's not a bad kind of chaos. Why do I let it happen? He can't find an answer.

 

"They spent hundreds of thousands a day."

 

"Hundreds of thousands of won? That's manageable."

 

"Hundreds of thousands of baht, you idiot. Just on clothes."

 

"That's even more than Quinn does." Duang laughs.

 

"Way more. They wear unisex clothes, buying both men's and women's clothes. They bought everything. At first, they carried it themselves, acting all proud. Later, they started handing me stuff. It was damn heavy. And they're as small as a cat."

 

"Wow, his words sound like a novel's protagonist."

 

"Jettana's got this. That's all I'm saying."

 

Duang can't help but laugh. How can someone be like this? How can Jettana make everything so funny?

 

"Hey, Mr Quinn's here."

 

"Mr Quinnnnnnnn!"

 

And there he goes, clinging to Quinn. Jettana hugs Quinn's waist, burying his face in his chest, spreading his legs wide to make himself shorter. Quinn lightly pats his shoulder in return, while Duang starts glaring at his boyfriend. I've always been the hopeless romantic. And yes, I'll get jealous of everyone. 

 

"Jettana, watch out, or Duang will punch you."

 

"For Mr Quinn, I'd fight him to death. True love is worth every battle, you know?"

 

"Didn't I tell you to stop reading those cringy quotes? Come here!" Pae locks Jettana in a headlock to stop him from causing more trouble. Duang feels genuinely grateful, and it's Quinn who gently taps his shoulder.

 

"Are you here to eat at my faculty's canteen?" Duang asks.

"Something like that."

 

"Be honest, Quinn."

 

"Why? Can't I miss you?"

 

"Wow... Haven't heard that in ages. Can I cry now?"

 

"We're always together. When would I even get the chance to miss you?"

 

"I miss you all the time. Even when you're right in front of me."

 

"Hmm... Let's eat."

 

Duang happily follows his boyfriend, whispering to his friends to keep their distance. No clinging to Quinn-this is their time.

 

"So, you ditched your friends to eat with me, Quinn?"

 

"Yeah. I saw Kim eating noodles in gravy and thought of you, so I came over."

 

"Why didn't you call? I could've picked you up."

 

"Surprise," Quinn replies with a straight face, but to Duang, it's irresistibly cute. They walk together, buying food and drinks, and sitting at their usual table. Before long, Jettana and Pae join them.

 

"What's up, Mr Hopeless Romantic?"

 

"Wow, even Mr Quinn's teasing me."

 

"Heard you went to Korea. How was it? Nice weather?"

 

"Chilly, but warm when someone hugs you."

 

"That sounds just like you."

 

Jettana laughs. It's strange how he can openly talk about these things with Duang's boyfriend. Maybe it's because they're close, just like he is with Duang. But Jettana feels that Quinn truly understands love better than anyone. Understands it, but doesn't necessarily need it.

Having a lover doesn't prove one knows how to love... Some people have one and still don't know how to love properly. But no, I don't love that person. Just to be clear. Nope, not at all.

 

"Still doing okay?"

 

"Yeah, nothing to worry about."

 

"You can always talk to me."

 

"Of course. Who else would I talk to? Look at my friends. Can't rely on any of them."

 

"I can hear you!" Duang protests, unlike Pae, who is too focused on slurping his noodles to care. Quinn smiles at the three of them..., but his concern lingers for Jettana. As for Duang...

 

"Is your hearing bad, Duang? I said love you and Pae so muchhhhhhhhhh."

 

Quinn can take care of him.

 

• · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

 

They work in separate corners of the house. Even though the house is spacious, they still want to be close enough to see each other. Quinn might've picked up the habit from living in the dorm with Duang for so long. The dorm isn't big, so just a glance shows what he was doing-washing brushes, painting, thinking, or crumpling up paper in frustration.

 

"You okay?"

 

"Art block."

 

"Come here for a hug."

 

"Are you free?"

 

"Of course."

 

Quinn lies. He's just as busy. But honestly, Duang comes first. Spending a few minutes comforting Duang is better than continuing to work while knowing he's stressed.

 

"Don't pressure yourself. Just do what you can."

 

"I don't want to suck."

 

"You don't suck... You've never sucked." 

 

Quinn kisses Duang's cheek for a long moment, pressing his nose to his forehead, and showers him with compliments, just like Duang does for him when he's feeling down. It really helps.

 

When someone he loves keeps reminding him of his worth, it doesn't necessarily make him feel more valuable because of their words. But it's like a balm for the heart-just hearing his good qualities from someone by his side. It's sweet.

 

Both giving and receiving... On days when one of them is too tired to give more than forty per cent of their energy, the other makes up the difference to reach a hundred. Sacrificing a little sometimes isn't a big deal. Because it's love.

 

"Duang, you're the best."

I love you so much.

 

"You're so sweet."

 

"Learned it all from you."

 

"When you're done with work, let's grab something to eat. We'll take Khonfu too."

 

"Sure."

 

"I can put my work aside for now. There's still plenty of time before the deadline. I shouldn't have rushed myself. Better to work when I'm ready."

 

Quinn nods in understanding, kisses Duang lightly again, and steps back to let him tidy up while he returns to his work.

 

Quinn sighs, glancing at the clock. Nearly two hours have passed since Duang whined earlier. Now his work is done, and when he looks over, he sees Duang asleep on the couch with Khonfu.

 

His pale hand reaches for his phone, snaps a picture, and posts it on Instagram, which he hasn't touched in almost three months. Being with Duang, Quinn doesn't feel the need to pick up his phone. Spending so much time together, practically inseparable, only deepens their bond. He can't imagine a day without Duang because he'll never let that day come.

 

"Duang, let's go eat."

 

"Hmm... Oh, did I fall asleep?"

 

"Yeah. Does your head ache?"

 

"A little."

 

"I'll massage it. Don't get up yet." Quinn replaces the pillow with his lap and gently massages Duang's temples. Duang always gets headaches when he naps in the evening, unlike Quinn, who can sleep anytime without Issue.

 

"How was the freshman welcoming ceremony today?"

 

"All the freshmen are so bold. Not like us last year-we were terrified of the seniors."

 

"You okay? Playing the bad-cop role in the event doesn't seem like you at all. Who put you in charge?"

 

"Even Jettana could be one. There goes all the respect, though. He yelled so loud his voice cracked, and everyone just burst out laughing."

 

Quinn chuckles softly, easily imagining the scene.

 

"Let's not make people respect us out of fear. Let them respect us because they genuinely see that we're more mature in every way."

 

"You're such an angel, you know that?"

 

"Not really, I'm just being honest. But it has its downsides. As I said, if a senior acts immature, I don't bow to them either."

 

"I don't care. I'm on your side no matter what."

 

"Just have fun with the ceremony. Don't overthink it."

 

Duang opens his eyes to look at Quinn, giving him a small smile before nodding in agreement.

 

"And you? How are the freshmen?"

 

"They're fine. Typical music kids, nothing much."

 

"Anyone hitting on you?"

 

"Who would? I already have a boyfriend."

 

"How would they know?"

 

"How much did you bribe Kim and his gang? They yelled on the first day that I already had a boyfriend. A scary one who kicks dogs, curses at women, and all sorts of nonsense. Now no one dares to mess with me."

 

"Those jerks! They went all out. I only gave them one bottle of Black Label." Duang laughs, clearly amused.

 

"What a headache."

 

"Well, there is only one you in the world."

 

"Don't you trust me?"

 

"Of course I do. But better safe than sorry. I know you won't like anyone else, but I don't want anyone else liking you either."

 

Quinn shakes his head at the childish reasoning. He pulls Duang up so they can go grab a late-night meal together. He crouches down, motioning for Khonfu to come over so he can put on her leash.

 

"Let's go eat something delicious."

"Papa's treating."

 

"Which Papa?" Quinn asks with a faint smile.

 

"Papa Quinn, of course. I'm broke this month. Spent it all on paint."

 

"I thought you secretly bought a camera."

 

"No wayyyyyyyyy!"

 

"Not suspicious at all."

 

"I really didn't buy one!"

 

They step out of the house together-Quinn, Duang, and Khonfu. Quinn double-checks that the house is securely locked while Duang helps their daughter into the car, sternly warning her not to pee in Papa's car.

 

Their day is simple like this.

Simple, but so full of happiness.

...A day where they have each other.