Duang With You

"You're daydreaming."

 

"Hey! That hurts, you know!"

 

"No shit," Quinn shrugs, running his fingers along the spines of jazz music books before pulling out the third one from the left and flipping through it casually. I want to tell him I wasn't daydreaming. l was just staring at his long legs in those tight black jeans he decided to wear today.

 

"Why are you wearing those pants?" He sighs.

 

Yep, he sighs right in my face.

 

"And what about it?"

 

"Just curious, that's all."

 

"The others are in the wash."

 

"Do you like this pair?"

 

"I just said the others are in the wash."

 

"Then can you not wear them anymore?" I mutter softly. It's not that they look bad on him; they look amazing, actually. His legs look incredible, and the black fabric contrasts perfectly with his pale skin, a trait typical of someone of Chinese heritage. Yeah, I'm just a little possessive. He didn't do anything, but my mind was already running wild.

 

"You're ridiculous."

 

"Fine, fine."

 

"So you've been staring at my legs, huh?"

 

".." I freeze. He glances at me lazily. After seeing each other for a while now (over half a year, actually, I've learned a lot about his quirks. For instance, that bored expression of his doesn't mean he's actually bored; it's just his resting face when he doesn't feel like showing any emotion. Lately, he seems tired.

 

"You're crossing the line."

"Come on."

 

See?

A quick head pat to recharge him.

 

"Handsy," Quinn swats my hand away frantically. We're the same height, but like to act like he's smaller than me. I don't know why, I just find him endearing in a way I can't explain. Plus, we haven't seen each other much this past week, and he's not the type to text all day either. I'd message him at noon, and he'd reply at four in the afternoon.

 

'Why the fuck would you ask me that? Have I eaten lunch? I'm a grown man. If I forget to eat, that's on me.'

 

That's what he said.

So, that's that.

 

"I told you to talk to me nicely, didn't I ?"

 

"Cringy ass shit."

 

"Sigh."

 

"Did you just sigh at me?" Quinn chuckles under his breath. At first, I was like a scared puppy around him, just going along with whatever he said. But now that we've gotten closer as... well, as people in a situationship, I've started to push back a little.

 

"You're so damn sulky."

 

I stop breathing for a second when he closes the music book in his hands and leans in close to me. That mischievous smile of his spreads across his face. I'm weak for this kind of thing, guys with sharp canines, squinty smiles, and a hint of chubby cheeks, even though he's skinny as hell. Damn it. My heart's melting.

 

"I know you're having a dirty thought."

 

"Hey, don't pull away just yet."

 

"We're in the middle of a mall. Please."

 

"You leaned in first, you know!"

 

"You're such a rookie."

 

He says that and walks away, leaving behind a faint scent of his custom-made cologne. His family runs a perfume business, artsy types, the whole lot of them. He's the only son, studying music. His mom's a photographer, and his dad runs his own business. Quinn always has a way of surprising me.

 

And he's way more manly than I am, especially when he runs his long fingers through his hair in frustration and raises an eyebrow at me, asking why I'm staring so much.

 

"Thinking dirty thoughts again, huh?"

 

Gulp.

I swallow hard. His collarbones are stunning. And with that oversized shirt, they just look even more...

 

And then I get smacked on the head, scattering all my inappropriate thoughts. As I said, I'll save those thoughts for when he lets me be more than just a friend. For now...Just go with the flow.

 

"Ramen, okay?"

 

"Yass, babe."

 

"Are you a girl or something? Stop saying it like that."

 

"I know you like it, though. Keep on being tight-lipped all you want."

 

"Have you kissed me to know it's tight?"

 

"Ha! Such a rookie," he teases me as I freeze, stunned by his innuendo. Damn it. He always does this. I want to bite him, but I just can't. We're evenly matched in strength, after all.

 

"The usual?"

 

"Yass, babe."

 

"For heaven's sake," Quinn shakes his head, resigned to the fact that he can't stop me. What can I say? When it comes to someone I like, I just want to speak to them sweetly. No way am I going to use rough language like him. He's adorable. He deserves sweet words like these.

 

"So, what time do you have to be back at the university?" Quinn asks me.

 

"In the evening. Are you going back to take a nap?"

 

"Yeah, probably."

 

"Then I'll drop you off first."

 

"Are you going to sleep?"

 

"Whoa, are you inviting me to your room?" I point my chopsticks at the easygoing guy across from me.

 

"Your place is far. Just nap for a bit, but that's all."

 

"You're not being cautious at all."

 

"What could someone like you even do to me?" 

 

He sighs heavily, clearly fed up with me. I mumble under my breath, watching him slurp his ramen. Even though he's skinny, he eats like a champ. Midnight, and his mouth is still chewing something. And honestly, he's the cutest when he's eating.

 

"Eat up, babe."

 

Because he can't talk back when his mouth is full. I grin, patting his head as he glares at me while chewing. He's so cute. I'm so damn grateful I had the guts to ask him out that day. And now, things have been going so well. Just having him around every day feels like a dream.

 

"Et o, ou erk."

(Let go, you jerk.)

I mean it.

 

Quinn's room is as clean as Quinn himself-just what Duang imagined. Duang has seen glimpses of it during their rare FaceTime calls, but those never lasted more than five minutes.

 

"Fuck are you staring at?"

 

"Well, I've never been in your room before."

 

"It's just a normal room."

 

"It smells nice."

 

"Not everyone's a slob like you."

 

"Have you even been to my room? Stop acting as if you know."

 

Their relationship, in other people's eyes, might seem like it's moving at a snail's pace. But to Duang, it feels just right. If it were a car, Duang is confident it wouldn't flip or crash along the way. Someday, they'll reach their destination... and it's not too far off now.

 

"You've got stuffed animals?"

 

"From an old fling."

 

"Oh, please. If you get jealous, I'll seriously kick you, Duang."

 

"Can't I be jealous?"

 

"It's from someone I stopped talking to ages ago."

 

"Keeping the stuffed animal means you still care. I can tell."

 

And with that, Duang gets a real kick to the leg. He yelps, glaring at the heartless guy before yelping again when Quinn throws the stuffed animal at him like he's mad at Duang.

 

"We stopped talking. What did the stuffed animal ever do wrong?"

 

Fine. Not worth arguing over. Duang mutters silently to himself before his eyes widen at the sight of Quinn's pale skin catching the warm sunlight streaming through the white blinds. Holy shit. His waist is so damn slim.

 

"Fuck are you staring at? I have to change to take a nap."

 

"Uh, yeah, sure."

 

The rookie rubs his nose to check if he's about to get a nosebleed. His weird behaviour doesn't escape Quinn's notice, who's already changed his shirt but refuses to take off his pants in front of the pervert sitting there with dirty thoughts.

 

"Pervert."

 

"I'm not, I swear!"

 

"Yeah, right. You're pitching a tent down there."

 

"Oh, come on!" Duang protests, covering his crotch with his hands even though nothing's happening down there, looking like he's about to cry. Quinn, now in long pyjama pants, walks into the bathroom, leaving Duang to collapse onto the sofa in the middle of the room, chanting prayers like he's seen a ghost. If there were holy water, he'd drink it right now!

 

"Are you going to change into pyjamas?"

 

"Can I just sleep in my boxers?"

 

Why is he making such a big move today? Seriously, God.

 

The art student is left speechless when Quinn walks out in matching pyjamas, wearing the bananas from Bananas in Pyjamas. The outfit makes his pale skin even more striking. And that messy bun he tied up to wash his face-God, save me.

 

"I don't mind, because you'll be sleeping on the sofa."

 

"Come on!"

 

"Always thinking dirty thoughts. Do whatever you want."

 

"If I sneak into your bed while you're asleep, will you even notice?"

"Don't push it. You're already the luckiest guy alive."

 

"I feel like crying."

 

"Go ahead," Quinn says curtly, fiddling with the air conditioner remote. Duang steps in, takes the remote, and fixes it by adjusting the loose batteries before handing it back to Quinn.

 

"Thanks."

 

See?

Even his short 'thanks' is adorable.

 

"Why don't you wipe your face properly, babe?"

 

"Stop calling me that."

 

"If you like it, just admit it. There's no one else here. Why do you have to act so tough?"

 

"It's not like that."

 

Duang looks at Quinn, who's starting to sulk. He's not sure what's going on with Quinn, but to him, it's definitely sulking. And it's ridiculously cute. Seriously.

 

"So, what is it then?"

 

Taking advantage of the moment, Duang grabs a few tissues from the box nearby and gently dabs at Quinn's damp face. Quinn's lashes, perfectly framing his slightly hidden double eyelids, are so endearing it's almost unbearable.

 

"A little too close, don't you think, babe?"

 

BADUM!

"Whoa!"

 

The owner of the dark brown hair raises his hands in surrender, stepping back from the guy who's now using "babe' instead of his usual rough tone. Duang's heart is pounding so hard he can hear it, the rhythm completely out of sync. I'm gonna pass out.

 

"Don't say it too often."

 

"You're saying your heart's racing, huh?"

 

"Right? If you admit it, I'll only say it occasionally," Duang says, looking at Quinn with a fond expression. That's just how it is. 

 

Sometimes, Quinn is like a kid. His thin lips press together for just a moment before he exhales and nods lazily, without saying a word. So he can get embarrassed, huh?

 

"You're adorable."

 

"Shut up and go to sleep."

 

"So, so adorable, babe."

 

"Duang."

 

"The most adorable of all :) "

 

Yeah.

Too adorable, honestly.

 

Duang's brown hair darkens when it gets wet. He splashes water on his face after finishing a discussion about next year's freshman welcoming ceremony, only to be dragged off to play soccer. Nearby, someone who claimed he'd just sit and wait is now watching him. Quinn has been lured here with the promise of a meal at a popular BBQ restaurant. Food is the way to Quinn's heart.

 

"Fuck are you staring at?"

 

"You're so fair-skinned."

 

"Fuck you."

 

"You smell nice."

 

"It's all sweat."

 

"I like it a lot." And with that, Duang gets a smack on the head. Quinn, who is surprisingly good at soccer, plays forward so well today that Duang is in awe. He's so cool, it makes me want to cry.

 

"You're so smitten."

 

"Jet, fuck off," Duang says, using his foot to nudge his friend away. There are plenty of sinks to wash up at, but Jet insists on standing there, watching.

 

"I love you, Mr Quinn," Jet declares before leaning against Quinn's chest, as he likes to call him. 

 

Duang nearly faints because everyone knows Quinn hates physical affection. After half a year of being in a situationship, Duang hasn't even held hands with him yet. And here comes this guy, hugging Quinn's waist and resting his head on him.

 

"I'm sweaty."

 

"I love you, Mr Quinn," Jet repeats.

 

"Are you a robot?" Duang watches as Quinn lightly taps Jet's shoulder but doesn't push him away. Letting him hug him. Wow, so now he doesn't know how to play hard to get?

 

"Why are you letting him hug you, babe?"

 

"Don't use 'babe' here, Duang. I'm gonna puke," says Jet.

 

"Right?" Quinn agrees.

 

"Right, Mr Babe."

 

See?!

Even Jet is saying it!

 

"Jet, stop teasing him. He's about to cry. He can't do anything. Such a rookie."

 

"Fine, sorry for being a rookie."

 

Quinn runs his long fingers through his hair and shakes his head at the sulking Duang. Even after Jet let go, Duang is still pouting. I don't care. He's sulking for no reason.

 

"So, we're all going, right?" One of Duang's friends asks. Quinn nods because Duang, still sulking, just huffs and turns away.

 

"I'm riding with Duang."

 

"Me too!!"

 

Duang wants to die. Can't I just drive and enjoy a quiet moment at a red light, stealing glances at Quinn? Why did I even bring my car today?

 

"I'll drive," Quinn offers.

 

"You just sit and relax. You've been playing soccer for two hours."

 

"You're no different. Hand over the keys."

 

"Duang is the bottom!" Jet shouts, running after Quinn to the car.

 

Duang clenches his fists. Once Quinn is gone, he'll have a little chat with Jet about it. It's called letting your crush do what they want. Seriously, who would argue with that? If I can give in, I will.

 

"Quinn's really handsome, huh?"

 

"I knew that before you."

 

"Seriously, though. Everyone's asking me about you two. Two handsome guys, both tall. Jet keeps saying that, according to the book, the bottom should be shorter and have a more feminine face."

 

"Quinn's is kinda feminine," Duang mumbles, glancing at Quinn's broad shoulders as he briefly turns to check if Duang is following. Yeah.

 

Dogs always follow their owners. And the owner should know by now that this dog isn't going anywhere.

 

"Your face looks more feminine than his, though, Duang."

"Shut up."

 

"I'm serious."

 

"Do you love me, Pae?"

 

"How much are you paying?" Pae asks flatly.

 

"Two hundred."

 

"You're the top."

 

"That's what I'm talking about." They shake hands, satisfied with the deal.

 

Pae shakes his head, exasperated. Every time Duang tries to make a move, Quinn brushes him off. But honestly, there is something endearing about the way two guys can talk like this. It's going to take a lot of work to get them on the same page.

 

"Buckle up."

 

"Yes, sir."

 

Jet nudges his friend, pointing at the two in the front seats. Their conversation about the playlist is cute. Quinn, the music student, talks about the mood and tone of the songs, while Duang keeps commenting on the lyrics.

 

"Fine, we'll go with the shared playlist. This is me compromising for you, okay?" Duang says.

 

"Who asked you to compromise?"

 

"Oh, come on."

 

"You're so sulky."

 

"Yeah, I'm nothing to you anyway."

 

Quinn sighs, reaching over to flick Duang's forehead. Soon, the shared playlist starts playing. It's a mix of songs they both like.

 

"Damn."

 

"The first song already hits me."

 

'Why do I have to smile when I should be sad~[

 

Duang bobs his head to the upbeat rhythm, even though the lyrics are heartbreakingly painful. Nothing is more torturous than being friend-zoned. He sneaks glances at Quinn, who is still wearing his usual neutral expression, focused on driving.

 

To be close like this... The truth that you never have a feeling for me doesn't matter to me~!'

 

"Keep rubbing it in, Jet. Keep going."

 

"Mr Quinn, any thoughts on the song?"

 

"The song?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

Even though the singer's cheerful voice fills the car, the three of them feel like someone has turned the volume down.

 

"It's a good pop song with a hint of 80s dance vibes."

 

"Oh, come on, Mr Quinn!"

 

"Not like that, man. Relate to the person next to you!" Pae laughs so hard he's nearly crying. That's what happens when you ask a music student for their opinion. Quinn's answer leaves Duang so tense that he might stop breathing.

 

"This song and Duang, huh?"

 

"Well... we were never friends."

 

They say water dripping on stone every day can wear it down.

 

"We're seeing each other."

 

The stone says we're seeing each other, but I'm still smiling like an idiot.

 

"Y00000000000!"

 

"Duang, calm down! You're grinning so hard your face might split!"

 

And just like that, the song ends, transitioning to another one Quinn has added to the playlist. Duang locks eyes with Quinn, who gently presses the brake. Quinn's long bangs fall over his eyes, and Duang can't quite describe their shape. But from an artistic perspective...They're beautiful.

 

Looking back on 2009, when people said that it was raining all the time, I saw sunshine 'cause I know that you are mine.' 

 

And Quinn's voice, which he rarely hears, is just as beautiful.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

"Cheers!"

 

"Happy birthday again, bro!"

 

"Be strong, big, and long-amen! That's my wish for you."

 

"Cheers!"

 

After stuffing myself with BBQ, I head back to my dorm to shower and change before hitting the bar. It's a senior's birthday. Initially, I thought about picking up Quinn. He doesn't drive a car because he says he's too lazy to find parking. Instead, he has an expensive imported scooter that only seats one. I'm not thrilled about him riding it to the bar and back. Nakhon Pathom's traffic is insane, and there is only one of him in the world.

 

"What are you looking for, Duang?"

 

"Quinn."

 

"Mr Quinn's over there, at the music students' table."

 

"He's here already? How'd he get here?"

 

"Go ask him, man. You know he doesn't like replying to texts."

 

I shake my head. I've learned my lesson. Besides, I don't want to bother him while he's with his friends. As long as he's here and safe, that's enough. But if he gets drunk, I might have to step in and offer to take him home and make him leave his scooter here. Though I doubt he'll agree. He loves that scooter like a mother elephant loves her calf.

 

"Still no boyfriend, Duang?"

 

"Come on, bro. I'm getting to know someone."

 

"It's been ages. I've been asking you since the freshman welcoming ceremony, and now you're about to host next year's, and you're still just getting to know him."

 

"I'm not in a rush, man." I clink glasses with the birthday senior, who keeps asking me about life. Honestly, when people ask about it too often, I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing. What if I end up just 'getting to know him' forever? Why can't you just have some self-restraint, Duang?

 

"Duang!"

 

"Oh, hey, Gaem." I snap out of my thoughts, startled, and respond to a classmate. She leans in close to my ear because the live music is blasting loudly, as expected at a bar like this.

 

"My friend thinks you're cute. She's at the table near the stage, wearing white."

 

"There are three people in white, Gaem," | laugh.

 

"The one in the white tank top. Sorry."

 

It's just polite. At the very least, I shouldn't embarrass any girl like that. So I give her a small smile before Gaem tells me her friend wants my Line ID because she messaged me on Instagram, and I didn't reply.

 

"You're not dating someone, right, Duang?"

 

"No, I'm not."

 

I glance over Gaem's shoulder and catch someone's gaze. It's the kind of look a cat gives its favourite toy. He stands there, under the warm glow of the lights, wearing one of those nylon shirts he likes. The fabric drapes perfectly, contrasting against his pale skin. I smile faintly and speak the next line.

 

"But soon, I will."

 

"Oh, so you're already seeing someone?"

 

"Something like that."

 

Gaem's face falls. She turns to look at her friend, and it seems they both understand I can't share my Line ID. I haven't replied to the Instagram DM because I rarely check it.

 

"It's okay, then. I'll go comfort my friend."

 

"Tell her I'm sorry."

 

"See, this is why people like you, Duang."

 

I high-five Gaem a couple of times as a goodbye before shifting my gaze to Quinn, checking if he's drunk yet. But his chair is empty.

 

"He went out for a smoke."

 

"You're always in everyone's business."

 

"Hey, you should be thanking me, you idiot," Jet snaps, but I ignore him.

 

I walk out of the bar, looking for someone who isn't a heavy smoker but has always smoked. I never nag him to quit because I believe Quinn knows his limits. If he wants to quit, he will. I just take care of him in the ways he allows me to, without making him uncomfortable.

 

"Hey."

 

I touch his waist, telling myself it's a small reward. He glances at me briefly before turning back to shield his lighter from the wind. The flame flickers, so I stand in a way that blocks the wind, making it easier for him to light his cigarette.

 

"Thanks."

 

"No prob, babe."

 

He sits down on a long bench, and I do the same, leaving a small gap between us so he won't feel crowded. Quinn glances at me before speaking in his usual laid-back tone.

 

"You'll get bitten by mosquitoes."

 

"No, I won't."

 

"So, what's up?"

 

"I was just asking, not scolding."

 

He's adorable. I've said it before.

 

"I just wanted to ask if you drove here."

 

"No, I came with Kim."

 

"Good. I didn't want you driving back alone."

 

"I know, that's why I came with Kim."

 

And I'll keep telling you..the fact that he's so adorable.

 

"You're such a nag."

 

Some people have told me that Quinn doesn't care about me that much, that I'm just setting myself up for disappointment in this relationship. But they're wrong. I know better than anyone. He cares about me in his own way. And he cares about me as much as someone like him possibly could.

 

"Someone asked for my Line ID earlier."

 

"I saw."

 

We lock eyes. He stubs out his cigarette after blowing smoke away for several minutes. I wish the moment could last a little longer.

"But I didn't give it to her."

 

Just being able to look into his eyes...

 

"I'm already taken."

 

Then his cool hand rests on my head, gently ruffling my hair with his usual calm expression. I think his charm might lie in the kindness buried deep within him, a kindness he reserves for people in different tiers.

 

At least today, I'm happy to be one of those people, and it didn't matter to me where I rank. As long as he's here with me, that's enough:)