Love Upon a Time: Special Edition.

Chapter 6 - Tinnapop.

To make any of this chapter make sense, I have changed ‘Khun/Nong and younger brother’ to Klao. This chapter wasn’t easy to translate. My apologies if I offend any Thai readers. 

 

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Ever since he could remember, young Tinnapop Chotiwathin had always dreamt every night. When I was a child, around early elementary school age, I started to realise that I was dreaming. Even though I couldn't remember the details of the dream when I woke up, it always left a lingering feeling. Sometimes I would be so happy that I would be in a good mood all day, but other times I would feel so sad that I wanted to cry. These dreams had a profound influence on a child like me, who was not yet ten years old. Even so, I was never afraid or thought it was abnormal. In fact, I was annoyed with myself for not remembering anything when I woke up.

 

Ever since I can remember, I've felt that I was born incomplete. This doesn't mean I have any physical or intellectual disabilities, nor does it refer to my family's social standing or lack of love and affection. I was born into the wealthy Chodiwathin family, an old and distinguished business lineage whose ancestors were once nobles serving in the royal court. Currently, they own real estate and hotel businesses both domestically and internationally. I am my parents' only son and have attended prestigious schools. Everyone who meets me says that my future looks incredibly promising.

 

Even though I was just a primary school student, I agreed with them that I didn't need to worry about anything at all back then. Yet, for some reason, I often feel like I've forgotten something, something so important that it makes me anxious every day. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. No matter how much my parents love me, no matter how many relatives and good friends I have, no matter how good my environment is, I still feel lonely. My heart feels like it's only half full.

 

As a child, I struggled to find answers on my own until I reached late elementary school and began remembering some of my dreams. That's when I realised that my lifelong loneliness stemmed from my longing for those dreams. As a child, I only remembered dreaming; the inability to recall details troubled me. I was therefore very happy when, one day, I began to vaguely remember my dreams upon waking, even though, at the age of ten, I didn't fully understand them. The first thing I remember is being in a traditional Thai house. I don't remember any other details, but I'm sure I wasn't alone. Someone was sitting beside me, and we were talking about something. 

 

I remember how happy I was in the dream. Even though I couldn't see their face, I remember the touch of our hands intertwining. Strangely, it was just a dream, yet I felt as if I were actually holding that person's hand. That morning, I could hardly forget waking up and going to school. I wanted to stay in this dream forever because I had finally experienced a moment when I felt like a complete person. Finally! But I couldn't tell my parents that, so I had to meekly get up, take a shower, and get dressed. After that day, I eagerly awaited my dream.

 

While my peers started staying up late playing games, including my cousin Thi, who's a year younger than me, I remained a health-conscious kid. I went to bed at 9 PM because I wanted to spend more time dreaming. As I grew older, I gradually remembered my dreams more clearly when I woke up. As a late elementary student, I was old enough to understand many things, so I realised the environment in my dream was probably in the Ayutthaya period because it resembled a drama I used to watch on television. 

 

My dreams unfold daily with a variety of scenes. Sometimes I'm at home, sometimes I'm outside, or when I was alone with that person, the details of which I only remember vaguely, the most striking thing was the feeling of longing. I was connected to the mysterious person in my dream, and I was anxious that I couldn't recall their face or name when I woke up. Even though I tried to tell myself that it was just someone in my imagination and wouldn't affect my real life, deep down, I couldn't stop thinking about them.

 

Even though it was just a dream, I felt it was very important. He was so important to me, important enough to make me angry at myself for not being able to remember his face. His name was on the tip of my tongue, yet I couldn't quite place it. It was an indescribable agony.

 

"Thi, have you ever dreamt about anyone often?" I, at eleven years old, asked my cousin as we sat down for a drink after playing soccer with our friends after school.

 

"Never," Thi replied, tilting his head and giving me a mischievous smile. "Are you secretly crushing on someone so much that you dream about them? Oh my!"

 

Suddenly, my heart started beating uncontrollably. I'd never thought about the word "like" before because I'd never liked anyone romantically, even though some elementary school kids already have girlfriends/boyfriends. They're growing up faster than you think. Even Thi, who's only in fifth grade, has girls in his class who like him. I always thought what happened before was just curiosity, and I was frustrated that I couldn't remember, since I usually have a good memory. I clung to the idea of getting to know my dream person, but Thi’s words made me realise my true feelings for the first time.

 

I'm so happy when I'm with him. I want to be close to him. I think I have a dream crush on him. It's like I've liked him for a really long time. Is this normal? I don't know if it was because I asked him about it, but that night Thi also appeared in my dream. He, who was the same age as he is now, looked different. Then, from that day on, I gradually began to remember more details. 

 

I realised that it wasn't just Thi; my parents were in the dream too, and they were my parents in it. After years of longing, when those fragmented stories are pieced together, a bigger picture begins to emerge about what the dream was. Mine is a chronicle of someone's life at various stages. And my instincts told me that was my own story.

 

At thirteen years old, I knew it sounded a bit ridiculous to mix dreams and reality, but that's how I really felt. I was aware of everything about myself in my dreams. I dreamt and imagined, feeling joy, pain, and a range of emotions clearly. Day by day, I remembered more and more details: I was the eldest son of Phraya Phichai Bhakdi and served in the patrol force during the mid-Ayutthaya period. My house was on the riverbank, on the western side of the Ayutthaya island. I knew which temple I attended as a novice monk, and the locations of the temples my family frequently visited for merit-making. I had many friends, subordinates, servants, and acquaintances. I had a lover, a man, and I loved him... with all my heart. I started to realise this wasn't normal, so I searched online for information. 

 

According to medical and scientific principles, I might have a brain disorder. Mentally, yes, but in terms of belief, what happened to me might have been a past life regression, and I chose to trust my instincts. Of course, I didn't tell anyone, not my parents or Thi, because there was no evidence to confirm anything, other than my own conviction. From remembering the last moments of people in my past lives, fate separated me from my loved one. I prayed to see him again, asking that I never forget him. I believe this prayer has led me to dream of him every night since childhood, because the first thing I remember in my dreams is the time I spent with my loved one.

 

"Hey Phop, how many girls have you broken hearts with? Your standards are so high!" 

 

Thirteen-year-old Thi frowned when he saw me reject a girl from another class. When I didn't answer, he kept pestering me, "Or do you not like women?"

 

"Yeah"

 

"Oh! So if it's a guy, you like him too, right? There's a guy in my class who secretly has a crush on you. I'll go tell him—"

 

"No," I declined, feeling a slight smile spread across my face as I added, "Phop already has someone he likes."

 

"Seriously, you never told me! I always tell you who I like! Who was it, who was it?" 

 

My friend from a past life, who's now my annoying younger cousin, tried to reason with me. They will try to squeeze the answers out of my mouth. I sighed heavily. 

 

"I don't know. I haven't met him yet, but I will find him."

 

"There's someone you like, but you don't know who it is. Damn it! If you don't want to tell me, then don't! Humph!"

 

Thi pouted and ran back to his group of friends to play soccer, all while I watched him go. Even though I wanted to tell him something, I didn't know how. Hey, since I honestly don't know who he is, I may have known him in a past life as my father's friend's son. I knew he had passed away and travelled back in time to protect me before leaving again. I know that. I know his personality, his likes and dislikes, and I know how much he loves me. And right now, my heart belongs only to him.

 

However, the only things I can't remember are his face and his name. In my dream, I could even remember every inch of his body, but when I woke up, almost nothing remained in my memory. The fact that I remember everyone and everything except him caused me unbelievable pain. Even before I regained consciousness, no matter how hard I tried to grasp fragments of memories, when I woke up, everything was empty, leaving only a lingering residue of overwhelming emotions mixed with despair. How am I supposed to find him when I can't remember his name or what he looks like...? But I'm not giving up easily. 

 

I've noticed something: in this lifetime, I keep encountering people I knew in my past life, like my old friend Jom. He was reborn as Thi and became his cousin. Phraya Phichai Phakdi and Khunying Prayong are still my parents in this life. My friends who studied or worked with me on patrol, as well as my servants and Khong, have been reborn as some of my classmates and those I studied with during tutoring sessions. In the future, I will probably meet people I haven't met yet, like Kaew and others. I thought that if I saw his face, I would recognise him. That's why I'm frequently on social media, on every platform, hoping to meet him. Thailand has over sixty million people; it's like searching for a needle in a haystack. But even so, I still hope that fate won't be so cruel as to prevent us from meeting.

 

We're that close. I've been waiting for this moment for almost four hundred years. Time passed. I graduated from high school and enrolled in law school. Year after year went by, and my gaze never stopped glancing back. I surrounded myself with the hope of seeing him, even though I'm not really someone who goes out much. But I still try to go to different places to look for him; even though I end up empty-handed every day, I don't give up. As long as I have breath in my body, I will find him.

 

Even after graduating, I still hadn't found the person I was looking for. Even Thi managed to meet Kaew, who was the reincarnation of his best friend's junior, and he's currently seeing him. He relentlessly pursued him, showing me pictures of his boyfriend, Pun, and daydreaming about him, completely losing his image as a smooth-talking playboy. But I continued my endless search for my boy to the point where I couldn't help but feel the unfairness of fate. Importantly, ever since I fully remembered my past lives, the dreams that once nourished my spirit and gave me hope have gradually diminished.

 

I only dream two or three times a month now, compared to almost every day when I was a child. This is starting to worry me. I don't know if this decrease in dreaming is a sign of anything. If it's because I'm close to seeing him, that would be good. But if not, this is a terrible punishment. I'm disappointed every time I wake up and find that I didn't dream at all last night. It felt like I was about to lose him again. Until one day...

 

It was close to the first-semester bar exams, so I planned to stay in a condo because it was closer to the exam location than my home, even though it was one month before the exam. That evening, I still had to go to my usual course. I'm not usually forgetful, but before leaving home that day, I forgot to bring my civil law textbook. So, I had to go back home to get it. My house is in the same compound as my uncle's, who is Thi’s father. I never expected that returning home that day would miraculously lead me to meet the person I had been searching for for so many years.

 

My heart sank when I saw the shadow of Olive, Thi’s Siberian Husky, darting in front of the car. Even worse, there was the shadow of someone else running after her. I honked and slammed on the brakes just in time, before quickly getting out of the car to check on the person and dog still lying on the ground. It wasn't Thi. I knew from the first moment I saw his back under the student uniform because he was shorter than my cousin. It made my heart race, but this wasn't the time to be observing my own emotions. I needed to inquire about the other party, who was currently holding Olive tightly in their arms.

 

"Are you alright?"

 

And the moment he turned around, my heart pounded as if it were about to explode.

 

"N-no, I'm not..."

 

It was as if time had stopped. Everything around me seemed meaningless. My world consisted only of the person in front of me—a face I had never recognised in my dreams; his name tickled at the tip of my tongue, fragments of lost memories that tormented me with longing were filled in the moment my eyes met this man's. My dearest... I finally found him.

 

Waves of longing surged through my chest, making it almost impossible to control myself. He was still as handsome as he used to be. Apart from his attire, there was nothing else. He had changed completely. I stared at him, unable to blink, afraid that this was all a dream, and that if I woke up now, I would shatter again. But it seemed so real that I was certain I had found him. He seemed just as stunned, his face showing shock and helplessness. So I quickly composed myself and returned to the present, where he had just been almost hit by my car.

 

"You..."

 

"Sir," I stepped closer and decided to lean down to get a better look at his face, to make sure of the faint scar on his nose that I liked to kiss gently. The small line on his lower lip always stands out when he pouts at me—all proof that he's my lover, without a doubt. A wave of joy instantly coursed through every fibre of my being, as if I had freed an invisible shackle from my heart. I almost blurted out Klao's name.

 

I want to hug him, I want to kiss him, I want to tell him that I've been waiting only for him; my feelings haven't changed for a single second. I have so much I want to tell him, but at the same time, I realise that in this lifetime we are just strangers, and that's what brought me peace of mind.

 

I suppressed my excitement as best I could and asked him in a gentle voice, "Are you alright? No injuries anywhere?" The other man's pale face flushed a lovely shade of red. He hesitated, seemingly unable to speak, perhaps from shock, or maybe...was this just a glimmer of expectation? It's just wishful thinking, but I wonder if he felt a sense of familiarity or a connection with me. He remembered me, didn't he?

 

"Hey, you!"

 

It was me who saw Thi running out of the house, his face panicked. The fact that Klao was here must mean he was Thi’s friend. This was the first time in my life that, seeing my cousin's face, I felt grateful to fate. Thank you, Thi, for bringing Klao and me back together again. I can't believe you were so close all the time.

 

"I heard the sound of a car accelerating just now. What's going on?"

 

"Olive ran in front of the car, and then... this guy came to help," I replied, glancing at my younger cousin's friend again. Thi was still grumbling about his four-legged daughter, while Klao seemed to have calmed down a bit. He slowly released Olive from his arms and stood up, before leaning over...

 

"Hey, you! Watch out."

 

I quickly reached out and grabbed his upper arm, as did Thi, who grabbed his shoulder. It was as if an electric current shot through my body the moment my hand touched the other person, who turned around. Our faces met, and I couldn't take my eyes off him. He probably doesn't know how much I had to restrain myself from pulling him into a hug. Thi’s voice brought me back to my senses before I gave in and did something so disrespectful to my younger cousin's friend.

 

"So shocked your legs went weak, huh? You should make some merit this year. How many times have you narrowly escaped death already?" My younger cousin grumbled at his friend, then turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "And why did you come back home? Didn't you say you were going to sleep at the condo tonight?"

 

"I came back to get my books. I had class this evening," I replied, glancing at the small figure who was still staring at me without blinking, looking adorable. "Oh, really…"

 

"Oh, I haven't introduced them yet, have I? This is Nakun, my close friend from university. And this is Phop, my cousin."

 

"Phop..."

 

My heart pounded when he softly repeated my name, as if unaware. My throat burned and tightened as I realised how long it had been. I didn't hear my own name from his lips. And I'm truly glad to have learned his name in this lifetime.

 

"You," I smiled at my former lover, now under a new name. I couldn't stop smiling. "If you're Thi’s friend, you must be younger than me."

 

"Nice to meet you, Nakun," I extended my hand. I'd never expected to shake hands with anyone like this before. Luckily, he extended his hand. Our palms touched, and I gripped his hand tightly, making a firm resolution. I will never let go of this hand again. I will make you love me again.

 

"It's nice to meet you."

 

The other person's voice trembled as I held his hand, refusing to let go, until Thi nudged my arm. "Hey, hey, you've been holding my friend's hand for too long. Let go!"

 

I smiled slightly, letting go of his hand. His face and ears were bright red, and he turned to look at my cousin. "Did you bring a friend home, Thi?"

 

"No, I just brought him here to sleep with me. My parents aren't home, and you left me to sleep in your condo, so I needed someone to sleep with me. I don't want to be alone; I'm scared of ghosts"

 

"Even ghosts are more afraid of you," I said, my voice trembling with fear and laughter. I turned to look at your younger sibling again, wondering if he recognised me at all.

 

"Damn it, go get your books if you want. When you're done, get out of here. I have someone to keep me company; I don't need you." Thi waved me away and pulled his friend into the house. As I watched his small figure, my heart swelled with emotion.

 

Your friend is indeed someone I care about, but I don't know whether they still have those memories. Therefore, since we haven't gotten to know each other yet, I shouldn't say anything. So that's what made him feel suspicious, huh? But even if your friend doesn't remember, it's okay. Judging by the way they looked at me, it seems their subconscious still remembers me. All I ask is that, just because it's him, I believe I can make him love me again.

 

I went back to my room to get my books, then drove away from home again to go to school, abandoning my plan to stay at the condo tonight because, from now on, I'm going to move forward with getting to know your friend. I'm not going to waste any more time.

 

That night, I arrived back in Ban Don at 10 pm, intending to show up for breakfast at Thi’s house the next morning. However, I ended up seeing Klao. I was faster than I expected because the other person walked out and stood awkwardly in the hallway while I was backing my car into the garage. I quickly opened the car door, got out, and called out to him, "Your cousin? What are you doing here?"

 

"Well… Thi asked me to come see who's here," he stammered as I hurried closer to Klao. No, the Klao, who had travelled back in time to my memories, was usually stubborn and self-assured. But this Klao seemed a little nervous. Perhaps it's because he doesn't know how to act yet. But this way is also cute.

 

"Instead of coming out to see me, he used a friend. Really hopeless." I chuckled softly, meeting the gaze of someone who, despite acting awkwardly, was still openly staring at me, and flinched slightly when I asked a question.

 

"Have you been friends with Thi for a long time?"

 

"We met when we started university."

 

"So that's it. No wonder I've never seen your face before," I said. It's unbelievable that the person I've been looking for is so close. Why doesn't Thi bring his university friends home more often like he used to in high school? Or at least, if he used social media, I might have met his friend a long time ago. Back then, Thi was such a womaniser that he got into a mess and was caught red-handed by a girl through his Instagram story. After that, he solved the problem by quitting all social media back in his senior year of high school.

 

We just stood there, looking at each other in a slightly awkward atmosphere. I think he might be uncomfortable, but I didn't want to send him back inside yet. So I decided to find something to talk about further, and then he called my name at the same time.

 

"P'Phop, Nakun."

 

I chuckled softly at this shared feeling, as did the other person. My heart swelled in a way I'd never felt before in real life. In the past, I'd only experienced sweetness. This feeling of longing in my heart could only exist in my dreams, but now the person of my dreams is standing right in front of me. Therefore, I need to act quickly to get him back to me.

 

"What do you need, sir?"

 

"I'm telling you, you don't have to be so polite with me. We're friends with Thi, not strangers." 

 

I took the liberty of moving a little closer to my interlocutor. Then, with a smile, he asked, "So, what did you want to talk to me about just now?"

 

"It's...it's...P'Phop, brother..."

 

Klao looked visibly nervous. I patiently waited for him, even glad to have more time with him. But then the pleasant atmosphere was ruined with the deep, husky voice of my annoying younger cousin, who showed up at the absolute worst possible time.

 

"Hey! Who's here? Oh, it's Phop. Didn't you say you were going to sleep at the condo tonight?" 

 

I retorted rudely, feeling annoyed. "Can't I come home to sleep?"

 

"Why did you come over?" Klao asked him as well. If I'm not mistaken, his laugh sounded louder than usual. Could I assume he was thinking the same thing? It's a shame we were interrupted as well.

 

The clueless Thi said innocently, "I saw you were gone for a long time. I thought a burglar had broken in, so I came out to check... Hey! Did I interrupt something? Sorry, guys."

 

"We can continue talking if you want. I'm going inside now."

 

"Nothing, I was just chatting with your friend a little," I cut him off to avoid suspicion. For our first meeting, we'd already talked a fair amount.

 

"It's quite chilly outside," I said, glancing at Klao and smiling. "It's late; let's go inside. The wind is cold; you might catch a cold."

 

"…yes"

 

I stood watching my lover walk back into the house with Thi. My eyes never left his slender back, and I saw him turn to look back in my direction. Likewise, that made the sapling of hope in my heart grow rapidly. It's clear he still has feelings for me, so I'll continue testing the waters tomorrow. Tonight, I don't need to dream anymore; the reality before me is better.

 

The next morning, I woke up early and went to the kitchen at my cousin's house to prepare breakfast for my loved one, since the cook, Auntie, was on leave. In my previous life, I had no cooking skills. So I decided to learn how to cook so I could one day cook for my loved ones. I'm quite confident in my skills and believe I won't embarrass myself. Luckily, your sibling seems to like it because they ate everything in the bowl.

 

I'm thankful for Thi’s sleepiness, which gave me the chance to sit at the same table with Klao, just the two of us. I struck up a short conversation, my eyes scanning his slightly messy hair. That drowsy expression upon waking up was one of the things I missed most. The way his pale cheeks moved as he chewed was so endearing that I had to restrain myself from reaching out and pinching them as I used to in my past life.

 

This version of Klao is much quieter. I can sense he's incredibly nervous. It'll probably take us some time to get used to each other. I got up, walked to the kitchen to get an orange, and called out to him as I walked back to the dining table after he finished eating. "Nakun, do you want an orange? Have some fruit afterwards."

 

"The food is healthy."

 

Back then, he always ate fruit after savoury meals, and of all the fruits, he liked oranges the most. I deliberately did this to see his reaction. I responded and found that Klao had hesitated for a moment before nodding. So I peeled the orange and handed it to him. He took it and ate it, a tremor in his eyes, and that reinforced my belief that he likely remembered things from the past, though I didn't yet know how much.

 

"Nakun...Thi said you have an exam today; is that true?"

 

He started initiating conversations with me. We sat and talked for a long time. As we talked more, he seemed less nervous and spoke more, his voice becoming pleasant. The movement of his lips overlapped with images in my dreams. I could sit and listen to him talk all day and night without getting bored. But the happy time was over because I had to take an exam. So, I regretfully excused myself, hoping to ask for his contact information, but I didn't get a chance. As I spoke, Klao asked a question.

 

"P'Phop"

 

"Yes, what is it?"

 

"Um...may I ask you a favour?"

 

"Well, for this final exam, I have to take a basic law course. My midterm grades in my first year were bad, so I dropped out and then enrolled this semester, but I'm not good at memorising things. It's about the law, so... I wanted to ask if I could trouble you to tutor me, would you... would you..."

 

"Sure," I replied immediately, trying to control myself from looking too excited, even though I was overjoyed inside.

 

"But would it be too much of a bother? You’re also taking exams."

 

"My exams are finalised tomorrow, so it won't bother me," I quickly said, then asked, "Where should we meet up? At my condo, or at your place? You live there. Are you living in a house or a dorm?"

 

"I live in the dorm, but how about we meet at a mall, a restaurant, or a cafe? I mean—" He hesitated for a moment. The corner of my mouth curved up, and I couldn't resist teasing him. 

 

"Why? Are you afraid I'll do something to you if we're alone?"

 

"No, no," he shook his head, his bangs bouncing back and forth, his ears bright red as he spoke rapidly, "It's just that I'm a little hesitant. I'm already very grateful that you're helping me with my tutoring. I wouldn't dare disturb you in your room."

 

Does he know how much I want to kiss him?

 

"Okay, then let's arrange another time. Can I have your LINE ID?" I suppressed a smile and changed the subject. It was a subtle way to ask for contact information. I regretted not being able to spend more time with him, but I did have the chance when I helped him out. I hope he longs to meet me just as much as I do.

 

"I hope you get a perfect score on your exam!" the other person wished with a charming smile.

 

The lump in my left chest beat rapidly as I chuckled softly and reached out, intending to stroke the other person's hair, a habit I had in my past life. Still, realising that we had only known each other for less than twenty-four hours, I paused and changed my way of expressing gratitude.

 

"Thank you very much," I smiled at him before asking expectantly, "We've asked for your help, and you have a favour to ask of us as well."

 

"Yes?"

 

"Can you refer to yourself as 'you' instead of 'me'? It sounds too distant," I leaned closer, not bothering to hide my interest. He seemed nervous and hesitant, so I used my trump card, speaking in a soft voice that I knew he would find appealing, to soften him up.

 

"Okay."

 

Because he always softens up when I act like this, especially when I want to hug him.

 

"Yes," he murmured, unaware that his face was flushed all the way to his neck.

 

"Okay, I'm going now. See you this evening," I said goodbye to him and walked out of Thi's house with a heart full of joy. My wife had given me his blessings; I had to pass my exam today.

 

After that day, we chatted occasionally on LINE. Mostly, he would send stickers to greet me, which made me feel much better because it was clear that he was interested. I want to get to know you, too. I could hardly wait for the tutoring session. The night before, I could barely sleep. I woke up early and went for a run in the park to relieve my excitement. Being overly agitated didn't help much. After my run, I came back, showered, and got dressed meticulously every day, but eventually I couldn't wait until 10:30 AM for our meeting. So, I decided to drive to his student dorm, getting the location from Thir, who had just woken up and shared it with me while complaining.

 

"Ugh, I'm so sleepy, and you still called to wake me up. Why don't you ask him yourself?"

 

"I wanted to surprise him."

 

I couldn't help but worry that this was crossing the line, but meeting the person I'd been waiting for for almost four hundred years made me feel like I wasn't myself. All those feelings were overwhelming and difficult to control, but luckily, Klao didn't mind. Throughout the day, I made it clear that my feelings for him went beyond being just his younger cousin's friend. I spoke vaguely, took close care of him, and deliberately hinted at things indirectly.

 

In the past, I tried to observe his reaction. Klao didn't seem uncomfortable with my demeanour and was often embarrassed. Just when I thought everything was going well, I unexpectedly ran into an old friend at a cafe while tutoring my lover in law.

 

"Oh, Phop."

 

'Nam,' a former school friend, is another person I've reconnected with. In this life, she didn't fall in love with me like Wanna did because she already has a boyfriend.

We've known each other for decades; he was her husband in a past life. I'm happy to see her happy, but not so happy when I saw Klao sitting there staring at my female friend, who walked over to greet me, completely stunned. I just realised now that I'm quite jealous.

 

"Why are you looking at my friend like that?"

 

"Oh, well... she's cute, that's why I'm looking." He blinked, looking a little confused. There was no denying that she was pretty, but given the unstable status of our relationship in this lifetime, I felt very insecure.

 

"Do you like her?" I asked, trembling at the answer. The other person shook their head; a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. "No, it's not like that."

 

"Oh, really? I thought you liked my friend." I could barely contain my relief. My conversation partner paused for a moment, his round eyes reflecting thoughtfulness before he asked me, "So, you don’t like her? Or is she already taken?"

 

"No, I didn't reserve any here," I quickly denied, looking him in the eye with a clear message. "I reserved someone else instead."

 

"Who is it?"

 

"Who do you think it is?"

 

"A handsome guy like you, P'Phop, must be eyeing some cute girl somewhere, right?" he probed back, staring at me defiantly until I could barely suppress a smile. My incredibly stubborn lover is still the same as he was. Perhaps that's what makes him so adorable to me.

 

"Maybe not a girl, but definitely cute." I raised my arm, resting my elbow on the table and propping my chin on my hand, gazing at the person who asked with sparkling eyes until their face flushed.

 

"The person I've reserved is really cute."

 

"Oh... I'm so jealous of that person, having such a nice person like you," he deflected, pretending not to understand my implied meaning, unaware that his blushing ears betrayed his true thoughts. They've all come out now. But I want to emphasise one more thing. I want him to know that I am committed to him and only him. "I think you don't need to be jealous."

 

"Eat...let's eat. The rice will get cold," he quickly changed the subject. I let it go for now, afraid that the younger person would get too embarrassed. I'm clueless about flirting. Even though I've only ever dated one person in both my past and present life, I think I might be pretty good at it, judging by how red his face is...

 

Time seemed to pass so painfully quickly when I spent time with someone I liked. I drove him back to his dorm in the evening, feeling a Pung of regret, but I still have hope, too. I intend to try bringing up the past a few more times if we spend more time together. Even though he seems to remember things, talking about the past right now might be a bit too soon. He might even think I'm strange. However, after driving for a while, I glanced at the wallet on the passenger seat and called Klao to tell him he had forgotten it. He gave way, then happily made a U-turn.

 

"Thank you," the other person, who was waiting under the dorm, bowed respectfully as I walked towards him and handed him his wallet, giving me a slight smile. He probably didn't know how happy I was to see him again, even if only for a minute longer.

 

"It's alright. I'll go now. See you next week. In the meantime, don't forget to review." I didn't forget to remind him before turning around to walk back to my car, even though my heart really wanted to stay longer; my heart ached, but then a frantic voice from behind rang out, "Brother Phop, wait!"

 

"Yes?" I looked at the person who had run to block my path with a questioning gaze. He pursed his lips, looking very hesitant. But finally, as if making a decision, he looked up and met my gaze. "Well... you want to talk to me privately, don't you? Can...can we go up to my room and talk for a moment?"

 

My instincts told me that what he wanted to talk about might be the same thing I wanted to say, so I nodded without hesitation. "Okay." He led me up to his room. Although it took less than three minutes to get from downstairs to his room, the hallway felt like it stretched endlessly. My heart started dancing wildly when the other person closed the door as we were inside the room together, and I, barely able to wait, blurted out.

 

"Do you have something to ask me?"

 

"P'Phop"

 

When he called my name, the heavy atmosphere in the room felt tangible. I felt the pressure on the narrow shoulders of the person in front of me, smiled, offered encouragement, and waited. Wait patiently, just as I have waited for almost four hundred years, and no matter when, I will wait until he is ready to speak or listen to me.

 

"So...if you were to ask me a personal question, would you consider it impolite?"

 

"Go ahead and ask first."

 

"Thir told me you've never had a girlfriend, so I wanted to ask... why don't you have a girlfriend?" he began, his voice slightly trembling.

 

"I was waiting for someone," I said, my gaze sweeping over the face I'd missed so much, my voice firm. "Now I've found them."

 

"And...and..." The Adam's apple of the person in front of me twitched, a hint of nervousness in his eyes, until finally he took a deep breath and asked me directly, 

 

"You..."

 

"Just one more question. Could you please answer honestly?"

 

"okay"

 

"P'Phop..." He swallowed hard, his voice stammering, and that was the question I wanted to hear most. "Brother... do you believe in reincarnation?"

 

A wave of joy washed over me as my wait was finally over. The night is going to be long, but I don't mind discussing it with anyone. I love only you, my one and only, all night long.

 

"P'Phop"

 

A soft, pleasant voice and a light touch on one cheek made me, lost in thought and reminiscing, glance at my lover, who was frowning beside his desk and staring at my face after poking my cheek with his finger a moment ago.

 

"What are you spacing out about?"

 

"Just reminiscing a little," I replied, getting up and putting my arm around the person who had just come out of the bathroom. I inhaled the faint scent of shower cream from their pale neck. The other person recoiled, feeling tickled.

 

"Go to sleep now. You have to go to the temple with your mother early tomorrow morning, don't you? You go to sleep first, I'll grab my bag for a sec." The other person pulled away from my embrace. Then he walked over to grab the hairdryer to dry his own damp hair, but I snatched it from his hand and started drying it for him.

 

He closed his eyes, tilted his head up slightly, looking like a comfortably relaxed puppy letting the groomer brush its fur. But if I said that, Klao would definitely get mad, so I just smiled to myself and kept blowing his hair.

 

"Speaking of the old days, you mean back then, right? Honestly, you still feel guilty because you only waited for me for a little over a year, but I waited for you for so long." He sat with his shoulders hunched.

 

Making a sound that competes with the hissing of the hair dryer. I affectionately patted my boyfriend's forehead. "Don't feel guilty. We've already met, haven't we?"

 

"Mmm," he groaned softly without responding. Then he closed his eyes and sat still, letting me dry his hair completely. I thought it was better this way, that he didn't have to wait that long. I couldn't bear to know he had to suffer for years. But did he see me at a Disadvantage? Well... maybe I was really at a disadvantage at first, but now I've gained a lot. The ones at a disadvantage are the ones who don't even realise it yet.

 

"Let's go to bed." Once his hair was dry, he got up from bed, put the hairdryer away, and walked to turn off the lights in the room. Meanwhile, I reached for the lamp and turned it off and got down on the bed, and as soon as he got back up, I immediately flipped over and pinned him down.

 

"Hey, brother!"

 

"'I told you to come lie down with me,'" I leaned down and gently brushed the tip of my nose against the slightly upturned nose of the person in my arms. The lamp's light revealed that they were squinting.

 

"You're so smooth. Were you that desperate?"

 

"Well," I murmured, leaning down to kiss his pale neck and shoulders. Actually, our activities in bed were quite frequent, but I don't know why, but I still feel the urge to hug him whenever he's around.

 

"Is that okay?"

 

"...Just one round, no asking for more," the person about to be attacked quickly interrupted me, chuckling softly as they nodded. "Okay."

 

"He was just saying that, you know," the other person frowned.

 

I gently kissed the space between his eyebrows to ease the deep creases, gazing into his eyes with profound intensity. "Because I love you so much." 

 

Our breaths mingled in the profound silence. Though words weren't necessary to show how much we loved each other, I still wanted to say everything when the opportunity arose.

 

"You said that...that's totally cheating," he murmured, sliding his hand to my neck and pulling me down for a kiss. Our emotions soared rapidly, like a match striking oil. Our breaths quickened with each increasingly passionate kiss. With each passing moment, I withdrew my lips from his swollen, reddened lips and moved my hand to help him undress, meeting his gaze filled with the same love as he looked back at me.

 

"Just one round is fine."

 

"Is this teasing? You're going to get really angry."

 

The person who was taking off my shirt pulled me up to sit astride their lap and started showering my chest with kisses, and they weren't going to let it end after just one round. Because we need each other so much, not just in bed. I'm grateful to fate for making my almost four-hundred-year wait worthwhile – for having this person in my arms forever.