Love Upon a Time: Special Edition.
Chapter 1.5
The 2nd day of the waning moon of the 7th month, the year of the Tiger, the first year of the reign.
To P'Phop
I am writing to inform you, as promised, that we will remain in contact. First of all, I am well and in good health; I am not ill. I wish you well, brother. Please take care and send my regards to my uncle and aunt. Please tell them that their nephew always remembers them.
As I write this letter, three months have passed since I relocated to Phichit. Initially, before visiting, I thought it would probably take a long time to get used to this new environment. You know I've never even been outside the capital before, due to poor health when I was a child. I have no idea what the city will be like, so before coming here, I worried about all sorts of things, wondering if I'd be able to stay. However, in reality, Phichit is a peaceful and pleasant city, no less developed than Ayutthaya.
The people are incredibly kind and welcoming to strangers. I still vividly remember the day I went hiking near our house with Ai Chuey for the first time! The villagers didn't know I was the son of the new Luang Yokkrabat. Nevertheless, when they learned we had recently moved, they brought us lots of food and sweets, refusing any payment, and wished us happiness in our lives here. My father also said he liked the city very much. So, even though it's not a familiar home, I feel much more at ease.
For the past three months, I've been exploring Phichit and thinking of my brothers with all my heart. It would be wonderful if P'Phop, P'Jom, Kaew, and I could visit this place together. I really want to take you to Wat Mahathat for worship, and there are many other interesting places as well. For now, I can only share my experiences with you through letters. I hope that one day, all four of us can travel together.
My life here has been quite enjoyable. I've adjusted well now. Lately, I've been going to the bookstore because my father said I'm sixteen now, and it's time I started thinking more about the future and what kind of work I want so that I can prepare early. That's why I intend to use this time to discover what I want to do. And at the book forest, many knowledgeable people come by, allowing me to talk with them and learn from them. I think it won't be long before I find the answer for myself.
And how have things been over the past three months? Before I left, I was very worried about Kaew because he cried so much when he came to see me off. Please tell P'Jom not to bully my younger sibling too much. As for P'Phop... What I've always worried about is that you're so engrossed in your studies and martial arts training that you forget the time. Don't overexert yourself; get plenty of rest. I've asked Ai Kong to remind you in my place, so please don't scold him when he tells you. He's just worried about you, just like I am. When you read this far, you're probably smiling and thinking I'm talking unusually much. I'm aware of that myself. Perhaps it's because I'm not with you every day anymore.
There is so much I want to tell you, so please be patient; this is certainly not the last letter, and I will eagerly await your letter.
I always think of you.
From your younger brother, Klao.
════[changbins_delulu_wife]════
The 8th day of the waxing moon, the 8th month, the year of the Tiger, the 1st year of the reign.
To my dear younger brother.
I have received your letter, and I am writing in reply immediately because you must want to know how we are doing. But first, I must tell you that I eagerly await your letter every single day, so what I endure is not your annoyance but the patience to wait for it to reach me.
I'm fine, and so are my parents—especially my mother, who misses her favourite nephew almost every day. I feel the same way; I'm very lonely without him. We talked. We used to be together as a family of four; now there are only three. Every time we talk to Ai Jom and Kaew, we feel a pang of sadness. We hope to be together again someday. Both Ai Jom and Kaew, and I, want to visit Wat Mahathat. If we have the opportunity, we will definitely visit you in Phichit.
Regarding your concerns about Kaew, when you first left, he was quite depressed. However, my brother and Ai Jom made sure to visit and talk to him, especially Ai Jom. He kept making empty promises about going to the fabric forest or shopping for jewellery, hoping to get Kaew to ask to come along. You know his nature; his words don't always match his actions. He'd pretend to be annoyed and stingy, but then he'd take him all over the market and buy him fabrics and jewellery. It was probably just his way of comforting the child.
Now Kaew is cheerful again and is diligently learning household skills, especially cooking. Every time I visit him at Khun Phra Sinthranurak's house, I always find Kaew busy in the kitchen with the servants. Believe it or not, our little brother makes delicious food. His skills are improving every time I taste his cooking. When I ask why he has to cook in the kitchen when the servants can do it for him, he replies that it's because he wants to cook for the people he loves. I wonder if Kaew means all of us as well, not just Ai Jom, is that right?
As for Ai Jom, there's no need to worry about him constantly teasing Kaew. He doesn't have much time now because he's started studying to be a herbalist. After hesitating for a long time because he didn't want to join the civil service, he asked his father for permission directly last month. At first, I thought Phraya Sukhokosol wouldn't agree, since all his sons had served in the government. But surprisingly, he granted permission easily. Perhaps it's because Jom is the youngest son, whom the father has always spoiled, that our friend was able to fulfil his dream.
My father started hinting to me that I should hurry up and study so that I could get ready for work. He wanted me to join the civil service, but I wasn't interested in medicine. It's because I want to help people's lives. You said that if I ask Father's permission to study with Ai Jom, he will allow it, or not?
Don't think you talk too much; I myself have so much I want to tell you. Before I knew it, I'd written such a long letter, yet it's still less than half of what I want to tell you. I want to tell you something. Only three or four months have passed, but so much has happened. It would be so much better if I could talk to you about everything, every day, as we used to. So, if my next letter is longer than this one, I hope you won't be too lazy to read it beforehand.
I always miss you.
P'Phop
════[changbins_delulu_wife]════
The 11th day of the waning moon of the 5th month, Year of the Rabbit, 18th year.
To my dear younger brother.
A thousand Songkran festivals have passed since we last celebrated together as a family of four. Time flies so quickly, it's unsettling. Thankfully, we've kept in touch by writing, which eases my loneliness and worry when I hear how you're doing. This year, I hope you have a joyful, happy year, free from sorrow and illness.
After a thousand days had passed, I entered government service. As I mentioned in my previous letter, my parents asked me to join the government. Even though they did not force me, I know they expect me to do so. As their eldest son, I have a responsibility to lead the family in the future; I cannot always do as I please. Although I regret not becoming a doctor, being part of the patrol means I can protect the villagers from danger and benefit others. Therefore, I am not overly sad. I intend to learn and work to the best of my ability.
Nevertheless, my working life was not without obstacles. I had anticipated that being the son of Phraya Phichai Bhakdi, a high-ranking official in the Bangkok Metropolitan Police Department, would make me a target of scrutiny. Upon starting work, my expectations were met. Some colleagues did not accept me, a newly appointed official who had already received a title without demonstrating any significant achievements. I understood their perspective and held no resentment. Some approached me, hoping to use me as a bridge to my father, forcing me to handle the situation calmly and avoid causing further conflict, while observing their reactions.
Nevertheless, some did not judge him by his appearance or by his noble birth. They were open to allowing him to showcase his abilities and offered guidance. I sincerely advised my inexperienced older brother on various matters, so you don't need to worry. I am still comfortable and quite happy with my work.
Ai Jom and Kaew are also doing well. You must be receiving letters from Kaew quite often. As for Ai Jom, he's been so engrossed in his studies lately that he hardly has any time. As usual, I'm taking a break from travelling, so I wanted to let you know that I might not be able to send you a letter as often. Nevertheless, I still think of you always. However, if possible, I wouldn't want to use the skills I've learned on you. I also hope you are healthy and free from illness. This letter is a little short, but I will write to you again soon. And I, as always, am waiting for your letter.
With fond memories.
Brother Phop.
════[changbins_delulu_wife]════
The eighth day of the waning moon of the month of B, the year of the Rabbit, the second year of the reign.
To P'Phop
First of all, thank you for your New Year's wishes. I pray that the Triple Gem protects and keeps you safe and healthy as well. Above all, I would like to congratulate the new officer on the patrol. My older brother is now a full-grown man. Thinking about it, I feel a little sad, because it still feels like just yesterday that the four of us were playing on banana stem horses in the garden behind his house. It is common for people to judge us based on rumours without even knowing us, but I believe I will demonstrate my abilities in a way that leaves no doubt.
I may no longer belittle my brother. I know how capable and diligent he is. Soon, they will agree with me as well. Even so... I'm still worried about you, brother. If anything is bothering you, don't forget that I'm here. Even though I may not be of much use, I'm ready to listen. No matter what the matter is, I will certainly not divulge it to anyone. I will always wait to hear news from you, my dear.
I, too, have found my purpose. I have decided to join the civil service like my father because I want to help him. Therefore, I am diligently studying the relevant laws. The law is preparing me. My father says there's no need to rush. Nineteen or twenty would be ideal. He says he wants me to enjoy my youth a little longer. For the next two years, I'll probably spend my time working and helping my father with small tasks. Even so, I'm really looking forward to it.
There is more good news. My servant, Ai, has married Sai. They are both sixteen years old, the age of marriage, so your father, as the elder, arranged the ceremony. They tied the bracelets around their wrists and wept like children, saying how kind and compassionate their father was to them. But as for me, Ai Sai was like a younger brother, so I gave him some money to keep as a small gift. How he and his wife used it was up to them.
When my younger brother got married, my father started bringing up the topic of marriage with me as well. He asked if I wanted to get married too, and if I had a girl I liked. Fortunately, when I said I hadn't thought about it yet, my father didn't rush me. He said he wanted me to find true love with someone I truly loved, just as he and my mother had. He said it wouldn't matter if I married a little later. If that were really possible, I would surely be the happiest man in the world. But I dare not hope for that, sir, because sometimes expectations can cause us more pain than anything else.
Please send my regards to Uncle, Aunt, Jom, Kaew, and everyone else. I will write to you again soon to tell you more about what's happening, because I miss you all.
There are so many people.
From your younger brother, Klao.
════[changbins_delulu_wife]════
The 10th day of the waxing moon of the 3rd month, Year of the Rabbit, Tothok.
To P'Phop
The other day, I received a letter from Kaew, saying that his brother had successfully apprehended a notorious bandit who was robbing villagers at night and had received much praise. He asked...Congratulations, and I hope you are safe and unharmed. Your work is always dangerous, so I hope you will be careful and take good care of yourself. From afar, I can only send you my best wishes through this letter.
It's been two years since I left the capital. I confess I still long to return home, even though I'm happy living here. I miss the atmosphere of Debdom. It's been so long. I haven't even had the chance to see you in your patrol uniform yet. And I still haven't seen you in your role as a herbalist. In your last letter, you told me that you've started accompanying your teacher to visit the sick, after spending years studying herbal remedies. And next year you'll be working full-time as a herbalist. You seemed quite excited.
Kaew must be a young man by now. I myself have grown a lot taller in the past two years. Perhaps I might even be taller than you now, brother. Lately, I feel that Childhood is over. I've grown up in many ways, so when the four of us meet again, it will feel quite different. A sense of maturity, beyond preparing for government service, might be partly due to my brother's help. Now he's become a father, and his wife has just become pregnant. She's been talking about it nonstop all day. I can't act like a child anymore. I should be a formidable, respected uncle to the little one who will soon be born. And the fact that my brother is going to be a father makes me compare myself to my contemporaries.
I didn't mean that I wanted to get married, sir. I was thinking about my future life. Perhaps I might settle down here in Phichit. Although my heart...I truly want to return to the capital, but I don't want my father to be alone here. Therefore, I have to think things through more carefully, and I'm beginning to realise how difficult and tiring adulthood truly is.
Brother Jom told me he doesn't need to marry anyone yet, and is thinking of getting married soon. Kaew is the same, even though for reasons that have changed. And what about you, brother? Do you have a woman in your heart? And if not, if you do have someone, please don't forget to tell me, for I, too, would like to meet the woman who has captured your heart. I'm sure she's kind and compassionate. Whenever you have a joyous occasion, I will return to the capital to offer my congratulations.
Wishing you happiness always, with love from your younger brother.
════[changbins_delulu_wife]════
The 8th day of the waning moon of the 4th month, Year of the Rabbit, 18th year.
To my dear younger brother.
Thank you for your concern. I am not injured, so please don't worry. I will be careful as you advised. After all, I value my life. Many still wish to receive letters from you about their well-being. It's hard to believe it's been two years since you left for Phichit. I'm glad to hear you're doing well there, but I can't deny that I miss you very much, especially when I'm patrolling the forest near the book and pencil fields. Even though you might be taller than me now, in my eyes, you'll always be the younger sibling I want to protect, and I probably won't be able to stop thinking that way for the rest of my life.
Please send my congratulations to Ai Chuey and Nang Sai. I wish them a safe delivery and good health for both mother and child. When I told Ai Kong that his friend had a child, he, who still hadn't found a wife, became so envious that he became annoying. And what you said about how tiring adulthood is, I felt the same way, but now it's become something I'm used to. You will gradually adapt as well.
Lately, my parents have been asking me more often about getting married, especially my mother, who has hinted that she envies other ladies of high society who have grandchildren to cuddle. Then, it made me feel a little pressured. Perhaps it was because I'm nineteen now. Most men my age are already married and starting families, but I haven't given it a thought. I've heard many colleagues complain about their family problems. I still want to focus on my work, and I don't yet have a woman I love. So, you'll have to wait a while longer for my wedding.
However, I'm not the only one who's still single. There's you, Ai Jom, and Kaew here. You shouldn't rush into marriage until you've found someone you love. From the bottom of my heart, even though you once said you didn't dare to hope, I believe you will surely find someone you love and who loves you in return.
I hope this letter reaches you before the tenth day of the waning moon of the fourth month, so I can bless you before your birthday, not after you've turned eighteen. May you be healthy and happy at all times, free from any worries. I was afraid the gift I sent might get lost along the way, so I included some dried ylang-ylang flowers in the letter. Consider it a small gift. When you return to the capital someday, you can claim the rest of the gifts I gave you in return for the time we haven't seen each other.
This older brother still eagerly awaits your letter.
P'Phop
════[changbins_delulu_wife]════
"Mr Klao received the letter and was beaming with joy," he said. My soon-to-be father, Ai, tried to help me by suggesting a gift as I read letters in my bedroom. I glared at him, but even then, I couldn't control my facial muscles.
"Whose letter is this, sir? If I were to guess, it's probably from Mr Phop, since you're smiling wider than usual."
"You have nothing to do but sit here finding fault with me! Go! Take the snacks to the study. I'll be reading in a little while." I spoke sternly to the servant, who still wore a cheerful, fearless expression. He crawled out of the room to carry out the orders.
After my brother had left, I carefully slipped a dried ylang-ylang flower into the letter, folded it, and placed it in a box already packed full of other things. He carefully stored numerous letters in a side drawer.
Two years have passed, and despite being so far away, my love for P'Phop hasn't diminished at all.