Love Upon A Time.

Special Chapter 2 - Sight of Doubt.

"Hey, how do you think we can tell if someone we like is just concerned about us or actually possessive?"

 

One afternoon after class, I was sitting in the university library. Suddenly, that question came from someone who should be an expert in love matters. It made me look up from the article I was translating, my other hand holding a phone with a dictionary app open. I immediately turned to look at the person who had asked the question.

 

"Are you asking me?"

 

"Who else? We're the only ones here."

 

The questioner reached out and pushed my head with a somewhat annoyed expression. When I made a move to retaliate, Thi gestured for me to calm down before the librarian threw us out. So, I just glared at my best friend.

 

"So, what's up? Why did you suddenly ask that? You've been through so much; you should be an expert in these things."

 

"I don't know. I just wanted someone else's opinion, I guess."

 

He slid down and lay his head on the table, messing up his hair with both hands.

 

"Alright, let's hear it." Seeing his rare, serious demeanour, I put down my pen and spoke more earnestly. Even though I had little experience in love, having loved only one man in two lifetimes, as a friend, I should at least lend him an ear.

 

"You know I've been chasing Pun for over two years, right?"

 

"Uh-huh."

 

"Sometimes, I feel like Pun is possessive of me."

 

"Are you imagining things?"

 

"Shut up and listen to me first."

 

Thi bared his teeth at me, glaring as I tried to stifle my laughter. I quickly covered my mouth, trying to hide my amusement at his misery.

 

"Okay, okay, I won't interrupt. Go on." I stopped teasing him and got serious. Thi leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly.

 

"You know I have a group of friends who like to go to clubs together, right?

 

"Yeah."

 

"In the group, there are both male and female friends, seniors and juniors. When I tell Pun I'm going to the club, Pun would say things like, 'Going again?' or "Are you just going to drink or hang out with girls?' Sometimes, 'Be careful not to get liver disease before you get old. Take it easy, P'Thi.' Stuff like that."

 

"And you're wondering what?"

 

"I'm not sure if Pun says that because he's worried about me or because he's jealous."

 

He sighed heavily again. I was surprised. Thi used to be such a player with many people interested in him, but he couldn't figure this out?

 

"You really can't tell?"

 

"Yeah, try chasing someone for two years without any response, and you'll understand. At first, I thought Pun was definitely jealous. Now, I'm not so sure. Does he feel anything for me, or is he just genuinely concerned as a friend?"

 

When he explained with a dejected look, I began to understand his feelings. Simply put, Thi's confidence was plummeting. He was sure Pun was jealous at first, but as time passed, without any progress, he started to doubt.

 

"But consulting you won't help, right? You and Phop didn't have a courting phase like me. You guys had known each other for a week before starting to date. You two sparked so quickly."

 

Before I could say anything, Thi interrupted, looking at me with a mix of envy and annoyance.

 

"We're not that fast," I quickly defended myself. We were dating, but to outsiders, Phop and I had only known each other for two weeks. I didn't want to answer questions, but I could only give a half-hearted excuse.

 

"Not that fast, my ass. Don't lie. Just met, and you already stayed over at his condo? I'm not naive, you know."

 

My best friend gave me a teasing look, reminding me a bit of his cousin. But Phop wasn't as playful as Thi. He had a more charming, teasing look. And he reserved that just for me.

 

"Keep it down, or we'll get scolded," I warned him to lower his voice, but Thi leaned in and whispered

 

"Anyway, how is my cousin? He seems quiet and serious, but I bet he's something else when-"

 

"Shut up and get back to work." I pushed his face away and turned back to my article. The library was cold, but my face was starting to heat up. Thi didn't need to explain what he was talking about, but he was right. By my standards, P'Phop was indeed something else…

 

"So, what are you going to do about Pun? 

 

Asking like this means you're tired, right?" 1 briskly changed the subject before Thi noticed I was thinking about it. He shrugged and replied.

 

"Who's tired? I don't care if he's worried or possessive. In the end, Pun still cares about me."

 

He grinned and turned back to his work. That's the good thing about Thi. He doesn't stay serious about anything for long. He forgets quickly, unlike me, who can dwell on stress for a long time.

 

The atmosphere between us returned to each of us working quietly. In the library's calm, Thi focused on his translation, while my concentration began to drift. Thi said Phop and I didn't have a courting phase, but that's only in this life. He didn't know that in my past life, I also had moments of doubt about Phop's feelings, just like Thi was doubting Pun now.

 

"P'Phop." I looked up from my book and called him, who'd come to visit our house. I was fourteen then, just starting to grow up, and hadn't moved to Phichit yet.

 

"What is it?" Phop responded, turning to look at me. I was starting to feel more than just brotherly affection for him, and meeting his eyes made me shy.

 

"Why aren't you saying anything, Klao? Why did you call me?"

 

Seeing me silent, P'Phop asked with a smile. I swallowed, pushing away my fluttering feelings, and stated my purpose.

 

"There's a festival at the temple near Pak Khlong Market tonight. I want to go, but Father won't let me. Can you ask for permission?™

 

I blinked, trying to be endearing, hoping he'd sympathise. wasn't very healthy as a child and had just recovered from a fever. Father wouldn't let me go out, but if Phop asked, it might be different.

 

"Aren't you still sick?"

 

“I'm better now. I really want to go. Please, P'Phop, ask Father for me."

 

"You're acting strange today. Why do you want to go so badly?"

 

The older one asked, laughing. It wasn't strange for him to ask, since I usually didn't like going out. I was solitary, but there was a reason I wanted to go then.

 

"A new friend invited me," I explained. Hearing that, his thick eyebrows furrowed.

 

"A new friend?"

 

"Yes. Actually, not exactly new. Do you remember Khem, the son of the palace official, who used to be a novice with us?"

 

"I remember."

 

"He's back from Lavo now. He's staying here for a month before returning. I ran into him at the market the other day, and he invited me to the festival. He's grown up to be quite handsome." I smiled, thinking of my childhood friend who'd changed so much that the young women at the market couldn't take their eyes off him.

 

"Is that so?"

 

Phop's dark eyes showed a thoughtful look. The smile on his face faded slightly, but I didn't notice.

 

"Yes. Can you ask Father for me? If it's you, he'll allow it."

 

"I'll try."

 

He said, standing up and walking to Father's study room, disappearing inside. I watched from the pavilion, my heart pounding. After about five minutes, Phop came out and walked towards me.

 

"How did it go?" I asked excitedly. P'Phop met my eyes, giving me a faint, forced smile. I sighed, knowing the answer was no.

 

"It's okay. Next week, our family's temple will also have a festival. Wait a bit, and I'll take you."

 

P'Phop squeezed my shoulder gently, comforting me. I nodded sadly. I wasn't one to disobey orders, so I had to accept my father's decision. In the end, I didn't get to go to the festival with Khem. But thinking back, Phop didn't say anything when I asked. He just smiled, and I assumed Father didn't allow

it. Did Father really not allow it?

 

There was another suspicious incident, this one after I was reborn and went back in time.

 

"P'Phop, are you going to see P'Jom?" I called to him from the house, who was heading towards the pier. I quickly ran down the stairs and hurried to catch up with him.

 

"Yes, what's going on?"

 

"Can I come along?" I asked eagerly.

 

To be honest, I didn't really want to spend time with him back then because P'Phop still suspected that I might not be the real Klao. But I was so bored with sitting around the house that I felt like I was going to die. It was so suffocating. I needed to get out and see the world a bit. The other day, when P'Jom came to visit, we had a good chat. So I thought if I could go and chat with P'Jom, I might feel more relaxed.

 

"Why do you suddenly want to see Jom?" The older man's thick eyebrows furrowed together, his eyes showing nothing but suspicion. He probably thought I was up to something mischievous. This man was really good at thinking the worst of me.

 

"I'm just lonely and want someone to talk to."

 

"If you want someone to talk to, don't you have your personal servants? Or I can talk to you."

 

"But I want to talk to P’Jom more. He's fun to talk to and doesn't reprimand me, unlike someone around here, "I blurted out cheekily. Mr Officer stared at me intently, his eyes growing oddly serious.

 

"You like talking to Jom that much?"

 

"Yes, let me go with you."I beamed broadly, but my smile quickly faded when I heard his response.

 

"No."

 

"Why not?"

 

"You just recovered from an illness. If you stay out in the sun too long, you might get sick again. I also have to discuss work with Jom. I can't take you along to play."

 

'He refused in a flat, emotionless voice. When he saw my sulky face, his stern eyes began to sparkle as if he were amused.

 

"Talk with the servants for now. I'll come back and keep you company once I'm done."

 

'It's fine. By then, I won't be lonely anymore." I replied half-heartedly, feeling annoyed. Even when I asked to go along, he still wouldn't let me go anywhere. How suspicious could he be?

 

"I'll be back soon."

 

He said with a smile, ignoring my refusal—the sharp-eyed nobleman left with a victorious glint in his eyes. I huffed and puffed, glaring after him for a moment before stomping back into the house in frustration. But thinking about it now, was he just being sceptical, trying to annoy me, or was he intentionally keeping me from seeing P'Jom? I'm starting to doubt it.

 

The sky had turned a shade of orange by the time we packed up and prepared to leave the library. I was scanning my student card to exit the building when Thi called out.

 

"Kun, how are you getting home today?"

 

"P'Phop is picking me up. There he is." I pointed to the road ahead as I stepped down the stairs. A white Mercedes was parked by the roadside. I'd promised to stay over at his place tonight, so P'Phop came to pick me up from the university after he finished work.

 

"Is he dropping you off at your dorm, or are you staying at his condo?"

 

"I'm staying with him."

 

"Oh my, you're staying at a guy's place again!?" Thi teased in an exaggeratedly dramatic voice.

 

"Shut up and go away." I elbowed him, feeling embarrassed. The more he teased, the more I wanted to smack him with the stack of notes in my arms.

 

"Alright, alright. Take care. Tell Phop to come home sometimes. His parents are starting to forget what he looks like."

 

Thi finally stopped teasing and acted like a decent person again. I nodded, waved goodbye, and watched him walk towards the parking lot before heading to P'Phop's car.

 

"Did you wait long?" I asked as soon as I got in the car.

 

"Just ten minutes," P'Phop replied with a smile, his dark eyes behind his glasses meeting mine. 

 

Today, he was wearing a black shirt and light jeans, with his hair styled back, looking incredibly handsome.

 

"What did Thi ridicule you about this time? I saw you two almost fighting." P'Phop asked as he started the car.

 

"He teased me about staying at your condo." I wrinkled my nose as I buckled my seatbelt. P’Phop chuckled, glancing at me briefly.

 

"Why? Are you embarrassed?"

 

"No!" I quickly denied it, but my voice was higher than usual, making him laugh.

 

"Don't be embarrassed. It's normal for couples to sleep together."

 

P'Phop reassured me with a mischievous smile. I turned to look out the window, pretending to be interested in the passing cars, not wanting him to see how flustered I was. Otherwise, he'd tease me even more.

 

"By the way, I have something to ask you." 

 

After sitting quietly for a while, I remembered the conversation I had with Thi earlier and turned to ask P'Phop while we were stopped at a red light.

 

"What is it?"

 

"Do you remember when I wanted to go to the festival with my friend and asked you to talk to my father for me?" I reminded him. P'Phop thought for a moment before nodding slowly.

 

"I remember. Why?"

 

"Did my father really not allow me to go?" I squinted at him suspiciously. P'Phop didn't answer, but his mysterious smile told me enough.

 

"P'Phop! Why did you do that? I really wanted to go."

 

"I was worried you'd get sick again."

 

Excuses, I thought, glaring at him. But I had more questions.

 

"And when I asked to go to P'Jom's house, you said no because you had to discuss work with him. Was that true?"

 

"Not exactly. I saw you just recovered and didn't want you out in the sun too long. That's why I told you that. I was worried about you."

 

He smiled apologetically, confirming my suspicions. He was deliberately keeping me away.

 

"Worried or possessive?" I teased, expecting him to flirt back as usual. But instead, he frowned, thinking seriously, which surprised me.

 

"P'Phop?"

 

"Honestly?" He said after a moment of silence.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Back then, I thought I was just worried. But looking back, I was probably more possessive. I didn't want anyone else to flirt with you."

 

His answer made me smile, and my heart swelled. All this time, I thought I was the only one who had fallen for him. But it turned out P'Phop liked me too, even before I moved to Phichit. He didn't realise it.

 

"So you were blocking me on purpose."

 

"Yes, I'm sorry."

 

The taller man took my hand, his thumb gently stroking the back of it, making me feel ticklish.

 

"It's okay. It's all in the past. I was just curious." I smiled at him, my annoyance melting away. It might sound strange, but I liked the feeling of being possessively cared for, even if it was from a long time ago.

 

"And... even if someone else flirted with me, I wouldn't have liked them."

 

"I only like P'Phop." I leaned in to whisper in his ear, staring into his sharp eyes. The corners of his mouth lifted slightly before he planted a kiss on my cheek.

 

"Same here." He replied with a twinkle in his eye, making me pull back quickly. If it weren't for the traffic light countdown nearing zero, P'Phop wouldn't have let me go so easily.

 

"Focus on the road." I reminded him, trying to hide my smile. P'Phop reluctantly turned his attention back to driving.

 

The car moved forward amid the congested evening traffic. I looked out the window, smiling at the new truth I'd just learned. Despite his quiet demeanour, my boyfriend is quite possessive.