Love Upon A Time.

Hope the Threat Retreat.

A week later, I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

 

"Klao, why do you look so pale today, child? Are you unwell?" Khun Ying Prayong asked me during breakfast one morning. The owner of the house was absent because Phraya had urgent work to attend to early in the morning. The patrol unit had been quite busy lately due to opium trafficking and robbery cases.

 

I looked up, glancing past P'Phop, who was sitting next to me, to meet his mother's eyes. I shook my head slightly and replied politely.

 

"No, Aunt. I just didn't sleep well last night. It's nothing serious."

 

"That's good. I thought you were ill." Khun Ying Prayong said with relief, her eyes showing genuine concern as she looked at me. "If you're full, you can go take a nap."

 

"Thank you, ma'am." I gave a slight smile to the matriarch before turning to wash my hands. I could feel the gaze of the person next to me. When I turned to meet P'Phop's eyes, who was in his uniform, ready to go to work, he asked, "Have you been having trouble sleeping often? Is something bothering you?"

 

"It's nothing. I just can't seem to fall asleep at night, but I'm still healthy." I smiled slightly to ease his worry, even though I was stressed out inside.

 

The truth was, it wasn't that I couldn't sleep; it was because I did sleep that I was stressed. Every night for the past week, whenever I closed my eyes, I dreamed of Klao being locked in a hut. I had this recurring dream every night until it drove me to the brink of insanity. It always ended with me waking up in a panic at the sight of the sword. It was like a movie abruptly cut off. I tried to see the face of the person holding the sword, but I never could. However, I was very fortunate that earlier, Pom had diagnosed me with memory loss due to alcohol poisoning. The entire city knew that Klao had become amnesiac. This might be the only reason I was still alive and hadn't been silenced by them.

 

"I have to go to work now." The deep, gentle voice of my lover broke my thoughts. His rough hand reached out to hold mine. I snapped out of my reverie and looked at P'Phop. His dark eyes were clouded with worry.

 

"Safe travels," I wished him with a broad smile to ease his mind. He seemed to relax a bit.

 

"I'll be back late today. I have to investigate some matters, and yesterday, Jom invited me to drink with him. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Jom and Kaew are now a couple."

 

"Really?" I widened my eyes, momentarily forgetting my stress.

 

"Yes, he invited me to drink and celebrate at his house."

 

"Then please convey my congratulations," I said with a smile. I'd suspected that P'Jom had feelings for Kaew. Seeing them sort things out made me genuinely happy. I hoped they wouldn't face the same family opposition that P'Phop and I had.

 

"Sure, and today I'll ask Jom to be the best man at our wedding."

 

His lips curved into a gentle smile. He lifted my hand and kissed it in front of the servants, making them blush and smile. I felt my face and ears heat up, not knowing how to react.

 

"Are you being shy?"

 

"Go to work, or you'll be late." I avoided his eyes and hurriedly pushed him to walk down from the house. P'Phop chuckled softly, amused by my embarrassment, before walking away.

 

After P'Phop left for work, I asked Aunt Prayong for permission to go out. Once granted, I ordered Chuay to take the boat out and head straight to the temple built by Phraya's family.

 

"Mr Klao, do you want to make merit again? You just did it yesterday," Chuay asked as he paddled the boat forward.

 

"Can't I make merit again?" I replied flatly.

 

Chuay thought I was displeased, apologised, and then continued paddling silently. I felt sorry for making Chuay feel bad, but I couldn't tell him the real reason for going to the temple. I intended to see Luang Ta and ask about my doubts. When the boat docked at the temple's pier, I left Chuay to guard the boat and headed to the merit hall.

 

Yesterday was a holy day, and I'd come to make merit with Phraya, Aunt Prayong, and P'Phop so that I couldn't ask Luang Ta anything. Today, I returned alone. I'd been having the same dream for many nights, feeling like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Everything felt so real as if death was just a step away. It felt as if that sword struck me; I'd actually die. I wanted to ask Luang Ta to confirm if my assumptions were correct.

 

As time passed, the assumption once thought to be unlikely became clearer. I never believed in past lives or the afterlife, but now my beliefs were being severely shaken. I was terrified that what I'd never believed might be true. When I entered the hall, I saw the elderly monk I intended to meet chanting blessings for the devotees who'd brought food and offerings. I waited patiently until almost noon. People gradually left the hall, and a temple disciple was about to help Luang Ta go to the dining hall. At that moment, I approached him.

 

"Luang Ta," I greeted with a wai. Luang Ta seemed to know my purpose and called me to talk under a large bodhi tree on the temple grounds, away from prying eyes.

 

"You're here again, Klao. What's troubling you today?" He asked kindly after waving the temple disciple away.

 

".. I had a nightmare," I replied, starting to recount my recurring dreams about Klao over the past few months. As I poured out my story, things became clearer. Klao's life, his disappearance, and the opium trade were all pieces of a puzzle waiting to be assembled. But before, I couldn't put them together because I lacked information. And since I couldn't tell anyone or ask for advice, everything became more complicated. But now, everything is becoming clearer.

 

"Luang Ta, why do I have to know these things? Why do I have to be here? There must be a reason, right?" I asked, my voice trembling. As I began to piece things together, my heart grew more anxious.

 

"Don't you already know, Klao?"

 

"….."

 

"Do you remember what I told you the first time we met?" The elderly monk asked me back. I fell silent, recalling his words as he repeated them.

 

"The karma one creates, one must bear. The knot is one tie, one must untie."

 

"….."

 

"What you can't see doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And what you've always believed, how can you be sure it's true? I can only guide you this far, Klao."

 

With that, he called for the temple disciple to help him to the dining hall. Soon, the sound of the temple drum echoed throughout the grounds, resonating like my wildly beating heart. Luang Ta hadn't answered my question directly, but he'd reinforced something I'd been trying to deny. Perhaps I already knew. I just didn't want to accept it. I was trapped by the walls I'd built, unable to see the truth right in front of me. And now, I was grasping at the last straw, believing that fate and reincarnation were nonsense. That straw snapped at this very moment.

 

Suddenly, my world blurred. I felt dizzy and had to steady myself against the tree. What is this? I thought in panic as images flashed in my mind. They were the stories of Klao that I'd dreamed of throughout Klao's childhood: his relationship with P'Phop before going to Phichit, his family's life in Phichit, the events after his father's death, and Klao's return to the capital. Including Klao's final moments...

 

The nerves at my temples throbbed, and pain shot through my head until I collapsed to the ground. Tears streamed uncontrollably as I saw the image of the sword reflecting the sunlight. It pierced through my flesh, stabbing into my chest mercilessly before being yanked out forcefully. Blood gushed from the wound, splattering everywhere, soaking the silver blade in crimson. The owner of the sword stepped closer, blocking the sunlight from my view. At that moment, I was too weak to move. My heart slowed as the scene before me darkened. I used my last bit of strength to look up and meet his eyes.

 

"Say goodbye to your life, Klao. Don't worry about being alone in hell. Perhaps your dear brother might join you soon enough."

 

The familiar face twisted into a cold smirk. I was stunned, my body numb. My wound made my senses fade with each passing moment. Even though it wasn't unexpected, seeing with my eyes that this person had been behind everything all along made me furious at my own stupidity for always trusting his friendly demeanour. But I had no time to dwell on that. I was fixated on the last sentence he'd just spoken.

 

P'Phop was now a target because he was also investigating the opium trade. How could P'Phop know that danger was closer than he thought? Even though I knew who the culprit was, it was too late to warn him. But I didn't want him to be in danger.

 

Tears streamed down my face, not from the pain of my wound but from despair and regret. Since returning from Phichit, I'd never spoken kindly to P'Phop. I pushed him away because I didn't want him to get involved with someone tainted. I tried to investigate the opium trade on my own without telling P'Phop because I didn't want him to risk himself with me. I planned to gather evidence first and then report it to the authorities, hoping to clear my family's name. One day, I wanted to tell him that my hostility towards him was just an act.

 

In truth, he'd always been important to me, from the first time we met until the last day of my life. He'd always be important to me. I thought I'd protected him, but in the end, everything I did was in vain. I was about to die here, without a chance to see him again...

No... I won't let it end like this!

 

The scene before me gradually darkened. My body was numb and devoid of feeling, and my senses slowly faded like a flickering candle ready to go out. I was about to sink into an endless void, but I still tried to grasp and hold onto the last shred of consciousness, making a desperate wish even though it seemed hopeless. 

 

‘I pray to all the sacred beings in the universe, please give me a chance to correct everything. Let me clear my family's name. Let me protect the one I love once more...'

 

My breath grew fainter until it finally ceased, along with my heartbeat. Everything plunged into complete darkness. The memories of Klao in my mind ended there, and I, sitting here, couldn't stop crying. I coughed violently, sobbing until I could barely breathe. I remembered everything now. I understood why I had to come here, why I could never find Klao despite searching for him. There was no trace of him because Klao no longer existed in this world. Klao had died the day he was stabbed. That was why Cherd was so shocked when he first saw me because he'd witnessed Klao's death firsthand.

 

I dreamt of Klao's story, felt familiar with his emotions, and understood his every thought because I was Klao. The one who tied the knot must be the one to untie it. I'd prayed in my final moments for a chance to come back and fix everything, and that's why I had to return to fulfil my intentions. 

 

I tried to recall the past as best as I could. This time, I'd catch the bastard who ruined my family and put him behind bars. I wouldn't fail again. The blurry memories gradually became clear. This was why I felt so familiar with this era; I could speak the old language fluently, and often felt déja vu when I saw P'Phop practising swordsmanship or teaching me. Those events had happened before. I'd faced those situations before. I began to remember details about myself, from when I was a child following P'Phop around, asking him to hold my hand and carry me on his back, to my teenage years when P'Phop taught me some self-defence skills. I remembered Chuay packing my belongings, preparing to move back to the capital after my father's death.

 

I picked up a notebook in which I'd meticulously copied laws to memorise and placed it in my personal chest. It was the only book I wanted to keep, while I left all other books in Phichit because I knew I'd no longer have the chance to serve in the government. This notebook was proof that I once had dreams and a happy life before everything turned upside down. I remembered the day I opened it again and found that the last page, which should've been blank, had my late father's handwriting on it. It was that torn piece of paper from the notebook, and I remembered where it was.

 

I hastily wiped away my tears, stood up, and hurriedly walked, almost running, to the temple's pier, shouting for Chuay to quickly prepare the boat and head to Phraya Pichaipakdee's small house, where I used to live. The young man's face looked astounded when he saw my red, tear-streaked eyes and nose. I ignored the servant's gaze, lost in my thoughts about finding the evidence. While sitting in the boat, I kept trying to recall everything, clenching my fists tightly in frustration.

 

The matter with Pim that I'd suspected was true. She'd lied to me all along. Pim was the one who told me about Cherd's involvement in the opium trade, gave me information about the route to the hut outside the city where the goods were stored, and then informed Cherd to ambush me along the way, leading to my capture. At that time, I didn't suspect Pim's loyalty at all, thinking she was a friend and trusting her. When I returned this time, I didn't remember those events, so Pim took the opportunity to lie, pretending to know nothing, helping Cherd keep the secret.

 

I should've realised it from the start. The prostitute house had powerful backers. The courtesans there had to follow their patrons' orders. Not to mention, he dominated Pak Khlong Market, completely controlling that area. The main suspect behind the opium trade in the capital, who sent opium to Sam Khok and falsely accused my father of accepting bribes from opium traders, was someone with a high position in the City Guard Bureau. Someone powerful enough to obstruct the patrol's investigation into the opium trade.

 

All of this was written in the letter my father left behind. I accidentally found it written in my notebook in my father's shaky handwriting. I guessed that when my father realised he was nearing his end while was sent to study at a distant temple. By the time I received the news and returned home, he'd already passed away.

In that letter, my father expressed his suspicion that Ok-phra Suntrapinit, Mun Han's father, was the mastermind behind the opium distribution from the capital to various provinces. He bribed the officials in Phichit to frame my father to prevent the investigation from reaching him. He ordered the culprits to testify that my father accepted bribes and facilitated the opium trade in Phichit. Everything was a well-coordinated conspiracy. 

 

Despite my father's efforts to deny it, there was no evidence to incriminate the other party, leading to my father's punishment. Reading that letter made my blood boil. In my haste, I rushed to investigate and gather evidence, only to fall into a trap, leading to Muun Han entering the hut and ending my life. My knuckles turned white, my nails digging into my flesh as I clenched my fists tightly. Just remembering wasn't enough. I needed the evidence, the letter my father wrote, and I was fortunate that I didn't take it with me when I went to explore the hut. Otherwise, it would've been destroyed along with my death.

 

"Mr Klao, be careful!" Chuay shouted a warning as he jumped from the boat onto the pier before the boat had fully docked. I ignored the warning and quickly ran up the steps to the house. I rushed to the bedroom, heading straight for the headboard. It was heavy and hadn't been moved. The bed was solid, but there was a small gap on the side. Last time, I hadn't noticed it, but this time…

 

Click!

I pulled out the crumpled letter hidden in the secret compartment and quickly scanned its contents again. It was exactly as I remembered. My father had gathered his last strength to write that letter and hide it in my notebook, knowing that one day I'd find it. And I'd accidentally found it while living in the capital. That's why I told Chuay I'd disappear for a while, travelling to find Pim for information, and she told me about the route to the hut.

 

At that time, I was too reckless. I intended to investigate alone first before informing the patrol because I thought they wouldn't believe me, the son of a convict, without evidence. I tore the letter out, intending to take it with me, but ultimately decided to hide it here in case I didn't survive. The evidence wouldn't be destroyed. If I disappear, at the very least, the patrol might get suspicious and search the house. They might find this piece of paper and use it to investigate further. It could clear my family's name someday.

 

"Mr Klao, what are you doing here?" Chuay, who'd been running behind, was panting heavily at the door. I stuffed the letter into the satchel I'd brought with me and turned to look at my servant, speaking in a calm voice.

 

"Let's go back. I got what I needed."

 

"Yes, sir." Chuay looked confused but followed me down from the house without asking any questions.

 

I sat in the boat, staring blankly at the slow-moving water reflecting the afternoon sun, accompanied by the sound of the paddle dipping into the water. The first time I came here, I thought this era was unfamiliar. Who would've thought that I was once a part of this time? I'd lived here, and fate had brought me back to the same place again.

 

My mind was completely blank. I couldn't describe how I felt, but one thing was certain: I didn't regret my decision back then. If I had the chance to choose again, I'd still wish to bring myself back here to set everything right. To see the face of the one I love once more.

 

When I returned to the house, I secluded myself in my bedroom, reflecting on old memories with unease. Even when it was time to come out for dinner, I still couldn't stop thinking. Knowing the culprit made me even more worried about P'Phop. He worked with Muun Han, and danger was close to him...

 

"Klao, Klao?"

 

"Yes, Aunt?"

 

"You seem distracted today, dear. You were pale this morning, too. Is something troubling you?" Aunt Prayong asked after we'd finished dinner.

 

I was just thinking about home, ma'am," I replied softly. Her concerned demeanour made my throat tighten strangely. I remembered how much she and Phraya had doted on me when I was young.

 

"Aunt Prayong."

 

"Yes, dear?"

 

"Thank you for always being kind to me," I said, giving a wai to the middle-aged woman in front of me. I lowered my eyes to hide my emotions. Khun Ying Prayong looked slightly surprised but reached out to pat my back.

 

Night had fallen, and the stars twinkled joyfully. Even though P'Phop had told me that he'd be back late tonight, I was still worried and eager to tell him the important information as soon as possible. Every minute counted now. The sooner he knew, the better. Because P'Phop had to go out on missions almost every night, even though he was observant, I didn't know if he suspected Muun Han. On the surface, Muun Han seemed harmless. I feared that P'Phop might be ambushed.

 

Unable to bear the anxiety any longer, I walked down from the house to wait for him at the pier. The surroundings were silent, with only the sound of the wind and insects. Each minute of waiting felt endless. I'd been separated from him once before and was terrified of facing the same situation again. I kept craning my neck to look at the river, hoping to see the shadow of a boat approaching. Please let it be on time. Please let P'Phop be safe from any danger.

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

The quiet night was Phop's favourite time. The sound of the paddle dipping into the water, handled by Khong, his close servant, was the only noise breaking the silence. Phop was still in his uniform, with a faint smell of alcohol from celebrating with his friend after completing his daily tasks. Phop had a strong tolerance for alcohol and never drank to the point of losing control. Whenever he joined others in drinking, he always did so in moderation. His mind was still vivid as he pondered the events of the day on his way back home.

 

He'd been involved in the investigation of the patrol robbery for a month now. Although he was supposed to be handling the case with Muun Han, in reality, Phop often investigated secretly on his own while outwardly cooperating and letting Muun Han take the lead. Phop noticed many irregularities in this case. Everything seemed too illogical. Even if it turned out that Jong and Sang, the guards on duty that day, had allowed the robbers to transport the opium, how could no one else have seen anything? How could the guards at the prison not have heard any noise?

 

The young Muun became suspicious and checked the duty records. That day, two officers were guarding the prison, but neither was originally scheduled. Both had swapped shifts and were under Muun Han's command. Isn't it too much of a coincidence?

 

He kept this to himself and secretly observed Muun Han's behaviour. When evidence showed that Jong and Sang had taken bribes from the opium traders, Muun Han appeared furious and ordered a thorough investigation. But after that day, he seemed indifferent again. He didn't pay attention to old opium cases in the area either. Recently, when the military reported a major opium shipment, Muun Han didn't seem eager to make a name for himself. Whenever it involved opium, Muun Han always seemed negligent.

 

Phop had known Muun Han since childhood, having studied under the same teacher. Muun Han was very ambitious. Why has he changed so significantly now? After careful consideration, Phop formed a hypothesis. Muun Han must have a vested interest in the opium trade. Phop couldn't accuse anyone based solely on his observations. He lacked evidence to implicate anyone, and Ok-phra Suntrapinit was a prominent figure and high-ranking member of the City Guard Bureau. He had to be very cautious. Phop could tell that his father also had doubts about Ok-phra Suntrapinit, which was why he'd ordered Phop to keep an eye on him and gather evidence. But so far, he hadn't found anything incriminating.

 

"Muun, isn't that Mr Klao?" Khong said as the boat turned the last bend before reaching the house. The sharp-eyed young Muun squinted through the darkness. When he saw his lover waiting at the pavilion, just as Khong had said, he couldn't help but be amazed. Why isn't he in bed by now?

 

"You'll catch a cold sitting out here. Didn't I tell you I'd be back late tonight?" he said as the boat docked.

 

Every day, Klao would usually greet him with a smile and ask how his day was. But today, his sweet face was pale, and his round eyes were filled with tears, alarming him.

 

"P'Phop," the other called out in a trembling voice, rushing to embrace him tightly. Normally, Klao wasn't one to show affection or touch in public, but this time, he hugged him even though Khong was still standing there. Phop immediately knew something was wrong.

 

"Klao, what's wrong? Did someone do something to you?" He held the younger one close, feeling him bury his face in his shoulder and shake his head without saying anything. Sensing Klao's unusually fragile emotions, he gently stroked his head and back, comforting him until he calmed down.

 

"Let's go inside. Sitting out here, you'll get bitten by mosquitoes," he said, examining Klao's arms and seeing the red mosquito bites as expected. He quickly led his lover back to the house to apply some ointment. Klao held his hand tightly, his eyes never leaving him as they walked up to the house.

 

Once they were alone in the bedroom, Phop had Klao sit on the bed. His rough fingers gently applied ointment to the mosquito bites on Klao's arms. This act reminded him of when they were children. Whenever Klao played and got hurt or bitten by mosquitoes, it was always Phop who tended to his wounds.

 

"If something's bothering you, you can tell me," Phop said as he knelt on the floor, applying ointment to the mosquito bites on Klao's fair legs. Klao watched his actions silently, and Phop almost gave up hope that his lover would speak when a soft voice finally broke the silence.

 

"P'Phop, I remember everything now."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I remember what I'd forgotten. I remember being close to you, you taking care of me, and how I... treated you poorly."

 

The trembling voice came from Klao's full lips, and his beautiful eyes, which Phop loved to gaze into, were brimming with tears. Yet, Klao smiled broadly and laughed softly, a smile that was all happy, sad, and beautiful.

 

"I'm so glad I remember. I'm so glad to see you again."

 

"I'm glad you remember, too." Phop smiled gently, sitting on the bed and pulling Klao's head to rest on his shoulder. Though he didn't fully understand what was going on with Klao, he was happy as long as Klao was happy.

 

"P’Phop, I remember something else, too."

 

Klao's voice turned serious. Phop watched as the younger man got up, walked to the cabinet, retrieved something, and returned to the bed. Klao handed it to him, and when Phop looked at it, he saw it was a letter.

 

"The truth is, after returning from Phichit, I acted cold and unfriendly towards you because I didn't want you and Uncle to get a bad reputation. During that time, I secretly investigated the opium trade in the capital. I went to the prostitute's house to find clues about whether Cherd was involved in the opium trade. One day, I discovered that he worked for a high-ranking official and had a hut for storing goods outside the city."

 

"You.." Phop didn't know which part to be more shocked about: the reason Klao acted hostile towards him or the fact that Klao dared to undertake such a dangerous task alone. He felt a surge of anger but understood the pain Klao must've endured to make such a decision, so he couldn't bring himself to blame the younger one for his good intentions.

 

"I accidentally found this letter written in my notebook. Father wrote it before he passed away. It mentions a major suspect responsible for distributing opium to various towns, Ok-phra Suntrapinit, who collaborated with officials in Phichit. They framed my father." Klao spoke while Phop unfolded the letter to read it. The young man's eyes were filled with tension.

 

As expected, Phop and his father agreed that Luang Preecha-ban would never betray the country. They couldn't catch anyone red-handed because multiple parties were collaborating. When his father went on a mission to Sam Khok with Ok-phra Suntrapinit to investigate suspects, the suspects denied implicating others. Whenever there was an opium-related case, Ok-phra Suntrapinit would always intervene. Moreover, OK-phra never assigned opium cases to him, only to his son. 

 

Initially, Phop thought Ok-phra Khong wanted his son to achieve more than others. Little did he know there was a bigger purpose behind it. The father and son worked together, possibly paying bribes or coercing patrol officers to turn a blind eye, allowing them to trade opium in the capital and export it to various towns conveniently, including a major opium shipment that was about to happen soon.

 

"Tomorrow morning, I'll report this to Father to investigate further. Don't worry, I'll clear your family's name. I promise," he said, his lips curling into a slight smile.

 

"Thank you, but my father's matter can wait. The more important issue is that you are currently working on a case with Muun Han, aren't you?"

 

"Yes."

 

"He... he already knew I was suspicious of him before. Luckily, I got lost in the forest and lost my memory, so I survived until today. P'Phop, you must be very careful working with Muun Han. He doesn't have good intentions towards you. If he finds out you're suspicious of him, I'm afraid you might be-"

 

"Don't worry. I'll take good care of myself," Phop reassured his lover. From the start, he'd never trusted Muun Han and was always cautious. Even if something were to happen, Phop was confident in his fighting skills, which were second to none.

 

"You should stay home for now. You're a key witness. I'm worried they might try to silence you."

 

"Yes." Klao agreed obediently, and Phop pulled him into a tight embrace. The other responded by hugging him back just as tightly. This young man's life was shattered by a group of people's greed. His Klao had suffered enough. No matter who the culprits were, whether it was Ok-phra, Muun Han, or anyone else, Phop would uncover the truth, clear Klao's family's name, and bring the wrongdoers to justice.

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

The next morning, P'Phop took me to see Phraya Pichaipakdee, bringing along the letter my father had written. I recounted the entire story to Phraya, mentioning only that Pim had given me information about the opium storage hut, omitting the details about my death in this life. After all, I was here now and had no intention of leaving. If others knew, they'd have endless questions. I'd become some kind of ghost in the eyes of the villagers. Besides, P'Phop would be heartbroken if he knew my fate. So, it's best to keep it a secret forever.

 

After that, both Phraya and P'Phop ordered me to stay at the house and not go anywhere until Cherd and his accomplices were caught. I complied, eagerly waiting for news from P'Phop each day. Phraya travelled to Phichit himself to gather witnesses for my father's case. Meanwhile, P'Phop focused on the opium case in the capital with trusted colleagues and sought help from the military, all done in secret to avoid alerting Muun Han and Ok-phra Suntrapinit.

 

Based on my information, the patrol searched for the hut but found it abandoned. They'd moved the goods. However, P'Phop continued investigating until he found clues about the new storage location. P'Phop gathered evidence, telling me he'd wait until the opium shipment day to make arrests. The night before he went to catch the criminals, I couldn't sleep, fearing for his safety.

 

"Tonight, I'll be back late," he said in his deep voice as we were alone in my bedroom at dawn. The patrol would raid the opium shipment route in the middle of the night. Tonight, P'Phop would face danger.

 

"...Yes," I replied softly. I wanted to tell him I was worried and didn't want him to face danger, but all I could do was agree because it was his duty.

 

"Don't worry, I'll come back safely."

 

P'Phop, in his uniform, hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder and tightening his embrace. We stood there, absorbing each other's warmth for a long moment before he left to fulfil his duty. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

 

"Klao, why don't you go pray with me? Ask for blessings to protect him," Aunt Prayong suggested as I watched my lover leave. Normally, I wasn't much into praying, but now, anything that could ease my anxiety, anything that could be a source of comfort, I wouldn't hesitate to do. So, I went to the prayer room and prayed for hours.

 

For the first time, I understood the phrase each second feels like a year.' I knew I shouldn't think negatively, but I couldn't help but be afraid.

 

"Phop is very skilled. He'll come back safely," Aunt Prayong's gentle hand squeezed mine as I grew anxious, unable to eat. All day, she barely spoke, but her face and eyes showed her worry. A mother's heart must worry for her son more than anyone else, yet she still comforted me.

 

As the sunset and night fell, I sat restlessly on the porch with Khun Ying Prayong, glancing at the stairs every five minutes. The longer the wait, the more anxious I became, but I tried not to show it, not wanting to stress her further. The wait seemed endless until the moon was about to set, and the dawn of a new day began to break. I heard footsteps climbing the stairs.

 

"Phop /P'Phop!" Khun Ying Prayong and I exclaimed simultaneously. We both rushed to him, abandoning all decorum.

 

"I'm back, Mother." P'Phop gave her a wai. And then, he hugged his mother with a smile.

 

"How are you? Are you hurt?" she asked, her hands trembling as she checked him over. Fortunately, besides looking tired, P'Phop was unharmed.

 

"I'm fine, Mother," he replied with a gentle smile before turning to me.

 

"I caught Cherd and his gang. We have solid evidence. Now, I'll trace it back to Muun Han and Ok-phra Suntrapinit. You'll need to give a statement at the patrol office one day."

 

"Klao, what's wrong?" he asked when I fell silent. Suddenly, my throat tightened. There was so much I wanted to say, but couldn't. Finally, I managed to utter one word.

 

"Thank you..."

 

"..."

 

"Thank you," I repeated, my eyes welling up. I was grateful he returned safely and for his efforts to clear my family's name.

 

"No need to thank me. I'd do anything for you," P'Phop said, pulling me into a hug. His warm hands gently stroked my back. I rested my head on his broad shoulder, the tension of the past day melting away.

 

Thank you. Despite all the agonising events, we're finally together.

 

Three days later, I was summoned to give a statement at the patrol office as a witness regarding Cherd and the evidence owner. After finishing my testimony, as I was about to leave the station, I saw the patrol officers escorting a suspect into the investigation room-a suspect whose face I knew all too well.

 

"Klao, you bastard!"

 

Cherd, with shackles on his wrists and ankles, shouted. When he saw my face, his bloodshot eyes filled with insane hatred, and he made a move as if to lunge at me. I stood still, watching him yell at the patrol officers who were restraining him, trying to break free from his bonds. My heart still harboured resentment, unwilling to forgive. However, seeing him receive the punishment he deserved somewhat calmed me.

 

"How did you survive!? You're a ghost, aren't you!? I saw you die right before my eyes. I was the one who stuffed you into the sack and drowned you with my own hands! Why are you still here!?"

 

His crazed shouting echoed throughout the area. I felt a chill run from my head to my toes upon hearing my fate from a past life. But in front of others, I had to maintain a composed expression, pretending to be indifferent and not responding.

 

"Stop talking nonsense! Shut up and walk!" The patrol officer restraining Cherd shouted and dragged him towards the interrogation room. Cherd glared at me with a vengeance, spewing curses and threats all the way. I stood watching one of the people who'd ruined my life walk away, feeling as if half the weight that had been pressing on my chest had been lifted.

 

One henchman had been dealt with. Although Cherd couldn't be charged with conspiracy to murder, the severe penalty for opium trafficking was enough to ensure he'd spend the rest of his life in prison. Now, only the main culprits remained: Ok-phra Suntrapinit, who framed my father, and Muun Han, my murderer, who were still at large. But with the evidence that P'Phop was gathering, he was confident he could bring both to justice. I prayed it'd be so. If the guilty were punished, I could finally let go.

 

I hoped the bad times would end soon so P'Phop and I could finally live in peace.