Love of Silom

Chapter 9 - Are You Ready? Ask Your Heart.

 

 

Krit stood inside his walk-in closet, which also housed his dressing table. He ran his fingers through the front of his hair to keep it from falling too much over his forehead, though he didn't put much effort into styling it. Today, he had a meeting with a group of old university friends. Just as Krit was about to grab his car keys and head out, he received a message from Wayu on his phone.

 

'Krit, I have something to ask. Last night, I met a customer who said he knows you.  Someone named Pete, an actor. Do you really know him?' Krit stared at the message in surprise. Before he could even type a response, another message came in. His eyes widened when he saw that this one wasn't from Wayu but from Pete.

 

‘Krit, I have something to show off. Wayu is really cute. Just seeing him makes me want him. But damn, he plays hard to get. Guess his boyfriend must be strict.'

 

Pete attached a photo along with the message. It was taken on a long sofa in some bar. Krit narrowed his eyes. In the photo, two men were sitting together—one of them gripping the other's arm while kissing him on the lips. The angle made it hard to see one of their faces clearly, but Krit could tell that the man was Pete. As for the other person, whose face was much clearer, it was Wayu!

 

'By the way, does your dad know about you and Wayu?' A flash of anger flickered in Krit's eyes. Did Pete even realise what he was doing? That guy could mess with his head all he wanted, but this was crossing the line. How did Pete even know that Wayu worked there? Krit thought back to the day Pete had come to see him at work. He had seen Krit talking to Wayu in front of the cafe, but that was just for a brief moment. Then it hit him that day, Wayu had been carrying the uniform he needed for work. When he walked away, he had draped it over his arm. Pete must have noticed the logo and the bar's name, which led him straight there.

 

Krit gritted his teeth, his mind racing. He needed to hear the full story from Wayu's own mouth. Without hesitation, he called him, but the call went unanswered. Stepping out of his dressing room, Krit hesitated, debating what to do next. Just then, his phone rang. Seeing that it was Rose, he answered the call.

 

"Krit, are you home this evening?" Rose greeted him in a cheerful tone. "I was thinking of stopping by your place. I need to discuss something with your mọm."

 

"I'm heading out. Probably won't be home." Krit replied

 

"Really? That's a shame. I was going to invite you to dinner. Your mom is so lovely-she even referred a client to me! One of the parents from her music school, actually. Getting this case really made my day."

 

"Hmm. Good for you."

"Hey, why do you sound so weird? Is something wrong?"

 

"Just a little."

"Work problems?"

 

"No."

"Then tell me."

 

Krit briefly explained the situation-how Pete had come to him for help and then tracked Wayu down at the bar. Rose was furious.

 

"That bastard Pete! Just how low can he go? He's got some nerve pulling this crap. Krit, don't help him with his case. Let him rot in jail."

 

"The charges aren't serious enough to put him away for life."

 

"I don't care. I just want his reputation ruined so no one will hire him again. I hated him ever since he dumped you so that you wouldn't be an obstacle in his climb to fame. So, what are you going to do now?"

 

"I need to talk to Wayu first."

"What's going on with you and him?"

 

"What do you mean?"

"Do you like him?"

Krit didn't answer.

 

"Your silence means yes. Or... it means yes, but you're not ready to say it."

 

"Why do both options mean the same thing?"

 

"Listen, Krit, I don't know if Wayu is the right person for you, but I don't want you stuck in the past anymore. I want you to open your heart, to give yourself a real chance at love. You need to break free from the mud you've been trapped in. Nothing heals the wounds of old love like a new one."

 

"That was deep... except for the 'trapped in the mud' part."

Rose laughed, despite the serious conversation.

 

"Well, if you're still thinking about helping Pete because you have lingering feelings for him, then go ahead —wallow in the mud with the buffaloes."

 

"Alright, I'll talk to you later. I have things to take care of."

 

After hanging up on Rose, Krit tried calling Wayu again, but there was still no answer. Making a quick decision, he cancelled all his plans for the evening and sent Wayu a message, telling him he was coming over. He told him to wait and not to go anywhere.

 

With that, Krit drove straight to Wayu's house. His expression was dark with frustration. He was furious that Pete had tried to use his dad as leverage against him. That was a line Pete had no right to cross. Sure, Pete had broken his heart-but at the very least, he should have left some level of trust intact. ...And then, there was the matter of Wayu.

 

Krit's brows knitted together as he thought about the photo Pete had sent. The dimly lit surroundings were bathed in scattered hues of colourful lights, but the image was clear—those two were kissing. He wanted to shake it from his mind, to erase it, but it clung to him, gnawing at his thoughts, refusing to let go. As Krit turned into Wayu's street, he spotted him already waiting outside. Wayu wasn't wearing his usual bright smile. Instead, he looked troubled, as if something weighed heavily on his mind. Krit pulled up, rolled down the window, and spoke.

 

"Get in."

Once Wayu got into the car, Krit drove off toward the main road.

 

"Where are we going?" Wayu asked

 

Instead of answering, Krit handed Wayu his phone. The screen displayed the photo of Wayu and Pete kissing. Wayu stared at it in shock.

 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I...uh..."

 

"And why did you let him kiss you like that?!" Krit snapped, his voice laced with irritation.

 

"I didn't let him!" Wayu shot back instantly. "I know people look down on my job, even though it's honest work. But I thought you'd be the one person who understood me the most. Why would you ask me that?'

 

He turned his face away, staring out the window, lips pressed tightly together as if holding back emotions. Krit let out a heavy sigh. He knew he was taking his

frustration out on Wayu.

 

"I'm sorry. I've been stressed about a lot of things lately."

"So, what exactly is going on between you and Pete? Why did he call me over and say something like that?"

 

"We used to date. He's my ex."

 

Wayu was momentarily stunned before answering, his voice tinged with unease.

"I see."

 

"See what?"

"You guys must have had a bad breakup."

 

"Why do you think that?"

"I was right, wasn't I?"

 

Krit was at a loss for words. His silence was enough of an answer. Wayu stared ahead, his suspicions confirmed. Krit and Pete had once been lovers. And now, it seemed, they still weren't entirely over each other-otherwise, this ridiculous situation wouldn't have happened. Why was he always the one left disappointed?

 

"Can I be honest with you?" Wayu asked, his voice clearly tinged with sadness.

Wayu turned to look at Krit.

 

"Are you jealous of him? Is that why you got so upset and drove all the way here to confront me like this? If you want to know the details of what happened, I'll tell you. That's all he did. It was just a drinking game. He kissed me for less than two seconds. But now, I'm really hurt that you're so jealous of him that you came here to yell at me. If you still have feelings for him, why don't you just talk it out properly? Why am I the one stuck in the middle between you and him? I'm not some kind of test for anyone!"

 

"It's not like that."

"Just pull over, Krit."

"How can I pull over here?"

 

"I can get back on my own. If you care about me at all, just pull over. I really can't handle talking to you right now."

 

"Wayu, I told you, it's not like that. There's something between him and me that needs to be settled. Once it's resolved, I'll explain everything to you."

 

"Krit, I'm begging you," Wayu's voice trembled. "If you don't pull over, I'll open the door and get out myself."

 

Krit turned to look and saw that Wayu's nose was pink, as if he were on the verge of tears. Krit let out a heavy sigh. If he didn't pull over, Wayu might really open the door and step out, just as he said. Krit slowly manoeuvred the car to the side of the road and parked.

 

"Wayu, don't overthink things, okay? Just wait until I settle things with him. Once it's over, we'll talk."

 

Wayu didn't respond. He stepped out of the car and turned to look at Krit, his eyes filled with such sadness that Krit's heart ached. Both of them seemed to have something heavy on their minds, but didn't voice it. Wayu closed the car door and took a step back, then turned away from Krit and walked back the way they had come.

 

Krit watched Wayu's slender figure in the rearview mirror. He was both angry and guilty for making Wayu feel this way. He needed to resolve things with Pete as quickly as possible. The young man grabbed his phone and dialled Pete's number. The other end picked up after just a few rings.

 

"I was wondering when you'd call," Pete's voice sounded relaxed, as if he had been waiting.

 

"Let's meet and talk," Krit said.

"Right now?"

 

"Yes."

"Where?"

 

"The usual place. The fortieth floor."

"Okay, see you in an hour. I was just thinking about enjoying the river view anyway."

 

Krit arrived at the meeting spot first. It was a rooftop restaurant on the fortieth floor of a hotel in the Sathorn district, offering a 360-degree view. The time was sunset, and the atmosphere was beautiful and romantic. Krit sat at a corner table overlooking the winding Chao Phraya River below. Before long, Pete walked in. When he saw Krit waiting, a handsome smile spread across his face.

 

"It's been a while. The view here is still as beautiful as ever. Krit, you really know how to pick a place to relive old memories," Pete said as he sat down. They had come here on dates years ago, back when they had just realised their feelings for each other.

 

"I remember how sweet the vodka tasted that day."

"Why are you messing with Wayu?"

 

"You're really ruining the mood," Pete grumbled under his breath. He brushed a strand of hair from his forehead, blown by the wind, before responding.

 

"If I hadn't stirred things up, would you have come running to me this quickly? Was the photo I sent beautiful?"

 

"Wayu has nothing to do with this. Don't involve him again. And do you really think blackmailing a police officer is smart?"

 

"If it were anyone else, it'd be downright stupid to pull something like this on you—the son of a high-ranking police officer." Pete leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. "But this is me, the one you once loved."

 

"Oh, wow... unbelievable. Did you really think this through before saying that? Just because we used to love each other, does that mean we have to keep cleaning up after each other for the rest of our lives? Have you forgotten who left whom?"

 

"What if we remove the word 'used to? What if Pete wants to come back..."

 

"Stop! Don't say anymore," Krit interrupted sharply, his voice firm. "I'll handle the favour you asked for, but this is the only time I'll help. After this, we don't need to see each other again. Delete my number. This isn't a request."

 

Krit's tone wasn't loud or aggressive, but it was serious and resolute, leaving no room for jokes. Pete looked into Krit's eyes, his lips curling into a mocking smile.

 

"That hurts. Calling me out here to talk like this, in the place where we used to have such good memories."

"Get used to it. It might hurt at first, but eventually, you'll go numb. Oh, and there's something I want you to take back with you."

 

Krit took two banknotes from his shirt pocket. They were smooth yet aged from being kept inside a book for years. He placed them on the table in front of Pete.

 

"This was the first money we earned together. I kept it as a keepsake because it was a good memory. But now, I think it's better to let it go."

 

"So, not only have you never forgiven me, but now you must hate me even more."

 

"Disappointed, actually," Krit shook his head. "Even more than when I was abandoned. And I keep wondering what was wrong with me back then—why I couldn't see the truth and ended up falling for someone like you."

 

Pete turned his face away, gazing into the distance. The confidence he had shown earlier seemed to have faded.

 

"Okay, I deserve that. After one betrayal, now I have come back to blackmail you twice. If I were in your shoes, I'd be furious too. But I want to tell you something, Krit." Pete took a deep breath before continuing.

 

"The truth is, I could've asked someone else for help. But I came to you. The first reason was that I missed you-I wanted to see you again. The second was... I wanted to know if I still had a chance." Krit was stunned by his words.

 

"But now I know I don't. That Wayu guy... I wasn't actually trying to hurt him. I was just jealous that he gets to have your love. But honestly, deep down, I kind of pity him. Because there's no future for him with you."

 

"That's going too far."

 

"Is it? Back when we broke up, you probably saw yourself as the victim—the one who was abandoned. But you never really tried to make our love last, did you? You treated me like I was never a part of your life, kept me a secret from everyone. You never even let me meet your parents, not even as a friend."

 

"We were still in school back then, Pete. What did you expect?"

 

"And if it were now, would it be any different? No, right? So how long am I supposed to wait? My whole life? Until your dad d..."

"Pete!"

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that." Pete lowered his head, his hands, which had once been loosely clasped, now tightening together in regret for speaking out of turn. "I'm really sorry."

 

"Let's part ways here," Krit said. "Let's not create any more bad memories for each other."

...Okay." Pete nodded.

 

Krit stood up, his anger completely gone, leaving only a sense of weariness. Just as he was about to step away, Pete spoke up.

 

"I loved you back then, Krit. But not enough to throw away my future for you. I'm sorry for hurting you that day, but if I could go back in time, I'd still do the same thing."

 

Krit stepped out. The view from here was beautiful, illuminated by the evening lights after sunset. The winding course of the large river could still be seen, snaking through the tall skyscrapers. They had only parted ways, allowing their first love to flow away like the river, never to return.

 

As Krit drove away, he recalled Rose's earlier words, fearing that he might help Pete out of lingering feelings. He admitted he had some ties to Pete, but not in a way that would ever lead to reconciliation. Pete hadn't been in his heart for a long time. It was empty, like an unused room with the door tightly shut. But now, Krit realised he had begun to open that door again—for someone else. It had been happening for a while, but he had refused to acknowledge it. Pete's interference in his life wasn't just a nuisance; it had stirred something deeper.

 

The moment Krit saw the photo Pete sent, he was almost beside himself with anger. At first, he told himself it was because Pete had threatened him regarding his dad, but that wasn't the whole truth. Krit had managed to control that feeling and wouldn't let Pete control him. But it was the part involving Wayu that made his heart burn with heat, like fire.

 

There was no denying it anymore. Krit cared about Wayu-far more than he had realised. And now, he could no longer escape his own feelings. Without hesitation, he changed his route, steering toward Silom. It would take him some time to reach the host bar where Wayu worked, but he still wanted to go.

 

Krit parked along the roadside across from the host bar. His gaze drifted into the alley, alive with lights and people. Wayu was probably in there, getting ready for work. He was a night person, living on the edge, flirting with a world of shadows and uncertainty. But somehow, Krit felt like his own life was even darker. Wayu was like a light in comparison. A small smile played on Krit's lips. It was almost ridiculous— driving all the way here just to look at a building.

 

That night, after Krit returned home, he sank into the armchair in his bedroom and played the playlist Wayu had once sent him. This time, the songs felt different. The lyrics, the melodies-they were beautiful, meaningful, and made him want to listen to them again and again. Krit picked up his phone and opened their chat. The last thing Wayu had sent before he had asked about Pete was a stıcker—a bunny blowing a tiny heart-shaped kiss. His gaze softened.

 

He called Wayu, but the call went unanswered-not surprising, considering Wayu was working. Normally, Krit would just send a text. But this time, he left a voice message instead.

 

"Wayu, I'm sorry about today. I've settled everything now, and I want to talk to make things clear. Let me know when you're ready... because I am."