Love Mechanics

Chapter 8. The Tramp

[Mark Masa]

 

 

How meek....

I reprimand myself with this word the whole time I sit in Vee's car. Mark Masa is such a meek person; he follows him submissively just because of his tender treatment.

 

It's so shameful that when I give in, I give in so easily to P'Vee's tenderness. Even though I try to ignore him today, he still manages to draw my attention in the end. His sweet words to his girlfriend really attracted my attention. Oh my... He says she's occupied and that she's uninterested in him, but the chat notifications have been popping up since morning, and in the evening, they talk on the phone. Yet, he still complains to me, while I have developed feelings for him.

 

I admit that I do have feelings for him. How can I deny after what has transpired? But the reason I try to keep my distance and ignore him is just because of one word. He already has a girlfriend, and they love each other very much.

 

"Let's stop by to buy some Pad Thai," P'Vee says before pulling over his motorbike beside the Pad Thai shop. I have no choice but to dismount the bike and remove my helmet, taking in the fresh evening air.

 

"Whaddaya want?" I furrow my brows at the one who asks as he looks at me with stern eyes.

 

"Shrimp Pad Thai, no bean sprouts."

 

"How picky." I hear his soft grumbling, but I keep silent, weary of replying to him. We're on good terms one moment, but then suddenly argue a few minutes later. It's actually me who cannot control my own emotions. My mouth says it's nothing, but my brain thinks otherwise, and my mind has already fallen for him.

 

"Why do you buy so much?" I ask upon seeing him buying four packs.

 

"For Bar and Kan." I am taken aback for a while, then glance at P'Vee, who looks at me coolly, flicking a quick smile from the corner of his mouth, which I notice just in time. I really don't understand him. I already told him that I've gotten over P'Bar. He's already got a boyfriend, and a good one at that. I'm happy for him. When we encounter each other these days, we smile and greet one another normally, like a senior and a junior. But what makes it not normal is Vee's bloody smile.

 

I shouldn't feel strange to be sitting here, though I just can't help it. I'm seated beside P'Vee, while P'Bar and Tossakan, the Prom King of the Medical Faculty, are seated opposite me. I felt confident about entering my own faculty's workshop at first, but upon seeing Tossakan's eyes looking towards me, my confidence faded away. Kan stares at me in a slightly discontented manner, different from P'Bar, who gives me a thin smile before gradually looking towards P'Vee, who is eating silently.

 

"Do you have anything to tell me?" P'Bar asks after a long period of silence.

 

"Nothing." P'Vee looks up to answer his friend before continuing to eat his Pad Thai. But that doesn't end 'Bar's questioning.

 

"And what about you?" P'Bar asks and squints his eyes at me.

"Um...Nothing." I reply and send a thin smile his way.

 

"Watch it." I turn towards the origin of the voice, who is staring at me without blinking. I stare back at P'Vee calmly, but my heart is not so calm. I'm aware that he wants to mess around with my mind in P'Bar and Kan's presence, but sorry, those things don't unsettle my heart as much as his eyes.

 

"You guys...really don't have anything to say to me?" P'Bar asks once again, bringing me back to my senses as I turn to look at the person in front of me.

 

"Nothing." P'Vee answers back forcefully and gets back to eating his Pad Thai, prompting me to send a smile to P'Bar, who is still looking at me. I get a glimpse of Tossakan, who's also giving me an odd look.

 

It must be since the time I met them in P'Bar's room. I don't know what impelled me to walk towards them, and P'Vee also came over to get me. P'Bar himself often asks me about this. Almost every time we run into each other, he asks me about P'Vee, although I reply with a smile and say that nothing is going on. It's true, after all. Just look... what am I to the guy named Vivis?

 

I hand Vee the tools as he instructs. My mind wanders whether this is how it should be. Is what I'm doing now my business? Is it necessary to sit here with him and help him out with this and that?

It's opposite when I see Kan and 'Bar. The handsome guy of the Medicine Faculty is reading a book beside P'Bar, who's focused on his project just like P'Vee. However, the difference is that P'Bar can do everything by himself without needing any assistance. But what's with the guy beside me?

 

"Look at me." The composed voice recalls my attention back to P'Vee once again after having sneaked a peek at 'Bar's cuteness. But no matter, I can only watch, as the one who's captured his heart is sitting right beside him.

 

"Whaddaya need?" I ask him and look at the tool pouch.

 

"Ya little..." PVee softly mutters a curse before snatching the wrench from my hand and turning back to the work in front of him.

 

"Sleepy..." Bar's raspy voice draws my attention towards him once again. The small guy heads to Tossakan, then sits beside him and leans his head onto his own knees.

 

"Want me to take you home?" It's already midnight. The boyfriend closes the book, leans in and asks with a soft voice.

 

"Hmm..just one more week left."He moans slowly from his throat. "One whole week."

 

"But I've gotta study for the exams toooo." He drags his voice and falls silent.

 

I smile at the couple's cuteness. It's the cuteness and love which I long for. I want to experience such a good love as theirs for once, to feel what it is like to have a truly loving boyfriend. This lovey-dovey couple makes me really envious.

 

"It's normal for us. We need to finish it up within the next couple of days. Then it's on to hitting the books." I jump upon hearing the deep voice beside my ear. P'Vee puts down the wrench and switches to the screwdriver, his slim finger pointing to a knotted screw next to me. I make a slight face at him, as he's not one to ask politely.

 

"Why didn't you start working on this earlier then?" I say as I hand the knot screw over to him. Am I annoyed? I am a bit uncertain, especially after observing P'Bar and Kan, and then examining my own situation, which I have no clear understanding of.

 

"I used up my time taking care of a dog." He says as he looks at me.

 

"What dog, P?" Tossakan's query makes me tense up a bit. How can't I not, when P'Vee's staring at me like that.

 

"The dog I said I'd take care of." He says as he flashes a smile towards Kan.

 

"Are you gonna continue taking care of him then?" I glance at P'Vee's face. I eagerly await his answer, wanting to know what his reply will be. If I were the dog he's taking care of, then I'd like to know how long he'll be doing it for and to what extent I can think about our relationship.

 

"Dunno. Depends on my mood." He shrugs in reply and turns his attention back to the machine. I bite my lower lip as I'm used to when I have to suppress my feelings about something.

 

"I...gotta head back. I've got class tomorrow morning." I decide to tell P'Vee before placing the tool pouch on the floor and standing up.

 

"Don't bullshit me. You've got an afternoon class." P'Vee scolds and looks at me sternly.

 

"My friends...have a group project to work on," I explain slowly, before avoiding his sharp gaze. The reason I want to go back now is that! I want to escape...escape the feelings that are too clear to me. So clear that I may start having hopes, even though I shouldn't expect anything.

 

"Why tell me just now?" P'Vee questions and puts away the tools before fully stretching himself up.

 

"I can go back by myself," I answer him.

"I wasn't gonna see you off...I was gonna go to the toilet."

 

I walk out to breathe in the fresh night air in front of the faculty past midnight. Yes, it is actually past midnight, and P'Vee really didn't follow me outside. I don't know whether he really went to the toilet, but the only thing I know is that I'm standing out here alone.

 

"Yes, Ploy." Or not? I turn to Tossakan's car and see a shadowy silhouette of someone I'm familiar with, and his handsome voice emerges, making me frown once again.

"Love ya. Don't go back too late. I'm worried about you." Hmph!

 

Numb from top to bottom, huh, Mark? I think of myself in the workshop with him and can't help but laugh out loud. Worried, huh? How about me, then? The voice gradually fades as I train my eyes on the figure. The broad back slowly heads back into the workshop.

 

I let out a deep sigh, laughing at my anger and resentment. But what right do you have to feel hurt, Mark? You're the one who chose to accompany him. And besides, we're not in a relationship. Don't express such feelings in this manner.

 

"Hey, James...where are you?" I call my friend, who picks up the phone with a heavy rhythmic beating in the background. I was afraid to call Fuse and Kamphan, fearing I would disturb their study time before the exams.

 

[Behind the campus, wanna join?] Different from James, who

doesn't care one bit about studying.

 

"Yeah, can you come pick me up from the faculty? At the roundabout, 'kay?"

 

[The hell you doin' there this late, man?] He asks me in a stern voice.

"To...help out a senior work on his project."

 

[Hey! Then why don't you let that senior of yours drop you off?] 

 

I let out a smile upon hearing my friend's question. He doesn't think anything of it, but I do. That senior of yours is not actually mine. He had just professed his love to his wife a moment ago.

 

"He's not done yet, but I wanna go back now. Why are you interrogating me so much? You comin' to pick me up or not?"

 

[If you're gonna drag out this conversation, then I guess I'll have to go. Wait there a bit.]

 

The line is cut, and I smile at my phone again. James and Wind are really close to me. We studied in the same class in high school, and they tried to get admitted to the same university as me, even though they didn't have to choose somewhere so far away from their homes. Whenever I'm in any kind of trouble, they've got my back.

I sit down at the marbled table. Although it's late, it's not too dark, thanks to the lights from the street lamps and a couple of street dogs keeping me company. I think of the guy in the workshop when I see the mongrels—used up his time taking care of a dog, huh? Taking care, my ass!

 

I'm the one sitting alone with the faculty dogs right now.

 

Masa Mark, 

Just now

Meddling with someone who's taken.

Better prepare your heart when playing with fire.

12 likes 3 comments

Winnie the Pooh: Come meddle with me.

Lame but handsome: Oh my, oh my. What's up with my friend?

Who, what, when, where, how?

Future Forfun: Getting over such feelings isn't as easy as cutting paper.

 

I read my friends' comments, but don't bother replying to them. For me, Facebook is a channel to share my own thoughts and feelings. I have a large following, comprising both students from my school and university. Although I'm not super handsome compared to the faculty Prom Kings or pretty like the Prom Queens, I'm a good-looking guy. I won't have any reservations about saying it, as we all have our own charms, and it's just a matter of how we bring out those charms for others to see.

 

"Over here, Mister Handsome!" A voice shouts out behind the car lights that beam into my eyes, prompting me to walk over and insert myself into my friend's car.

 

"So slow..." I complain softly after I get seated and fasten my seatbelt.

 

"Why you...I sacrifice my valuable time getting leisure to come pick you up. Can I at least get a thank you?" James turns back and counters.

 

"Thank you," I reply. He pierces his eyes at me, so I give him a teasing smile.

"If you don't mean what you say, no need to be sarcastic, Sir."

 

"You're the one who wanted me to say it," I respond to him as I lean back in my seat.

 

"Yes, Sir, I apologise for forcing you to say something against your will and making you sarcastic. So it's my fault, huh? Do I really have to apologise? Can I get an answer?" I give him a weary look and let out another sigh. "Okay, my bad." He says and drives on.

 

James brings his own car out due to his lofty taste. He dislikes using public transportation. In fact, when he was living in Bangkok, he never took a bus, so his dad got a car for him to drive, which also benefited me, since I'm not that keen on taking a bus or other forms of public transportation myself.

 

A campus transportation service is offered throughout the day and night for free, although I'm still unclear about the service routes. And since James has a car, I just go with him rather than using public transportation. Whenever there are classes at other faculties, I go with Fuse. Even now, I'm still not familiar with the campus bus service. Although I'm not a fussy guy, this is so convenient for me. I don't even have to drive myself.

 

The car park is in front of a pub at the back of the university. James and I head inside. The atmosphere of the pub at 1 am is something that's not too pleasant for me.

 

I admit that I go out a lot. Pubs here are not that different from one another. Midnight onwards is the time when people are generally crowded together. I can't find any joy in that.

 

"Oh...have a seat, good Sirs." Wind snakes his arm to pull mine to sit down beside his small physique, and leans against me. "I'm wasted, Mark..." His voice drags, indicating the level of alcohol in his blood, prompting me to shake my head.

 

"We haven't even had a shot, and the cat's already out of it. Figures." James says and slides a glass to me.

 

"Just the two of you here?"

"Some other faculty mates. Probably on the dance floor." James says and looks around, so I nod.

 

"The fuck you been, James?" Two men, their arms around each other's necks, approach James. It must be his mates.

 

"To pick up my friend." The two guys turn to me and lift their glasses. I do likewise and smile back.

 

"I'm Pit, and this here's Nueng." The taller guy says and points at the guy who's holding onto his arm.

 

"Okay, I'm Mark." We greet each other, and they sit down with us.

 

Pit says he's danced till he's dropped, and that he wasn't wasted at first, but he is now after several rounds of drinks.

 

"I'm surprised about it myself. I took one glass around but drank for hours with it." Pit says and takes the liberty of filling my glass with a drink.

 

"I'm handsome," Nueng says and smiles at Pit, prompting me to observe the guy who's just complimented himself. Under this dim lighting, it's difficult to make out one's actual appearance, but his fair-skinned face, which stands out in the light, justifies his confidence in flattering himself.

 

"Yes, Mr Handsome. I give in to you." Pit pushes Nueng's head away and slides my glass back to me.

 

"Thanks." I take it and sip my drink. I look at Pit nodding to me and observe the scene around me. The craze of the herd and scent of alcohol make me feel a bit better, so I lift my glass and take another sip before stopping in my tracks upon seeing someone familiar.

 

"The hell are you looking at? Oh...P'Ploy?" Pit asks as he follows my eyes, coming to his own conclusion without me having to reply.

 

"You know her?" I lift my brows and ask him.

 

"Sure do, man. She's the prettiest Prom Queen in my eyes. But too bad she's already taken, and her boyfriend's fucking hot." Pit says as he lifts up his drink for a sip.

 

"And who's that she's with? It ain't P'Vee."

 

James says as he points to 'Ploy's group. The pretty senior I know is swaying to the beat of the music amidst her group of friends. Beside her, a guy whom I don't know is holding her slim hips and laughs out loud and, upon the cheering of the group of friends, leans over to whisper into Ploy's ear. The pretty gal nods and places her head onto his broad chest.

"Her boyfriend's better looking than that." Nueng lifts his head and speaks out slowly, "P'Vee, the Prom King of the Engineering Faculty. I follow his Facebook."

 

"Um...then who's that dude there?"

 

"Why meddle in something that's not our business?" I say cooly, prompting them both to look at me.

 

"True that. I ain't her hubby, so no reason to feel anything." Pit says before crossing his legs and sipping his drink more.

 

"Maybe they're like bro and sis? James suggests.

"Yeah, they're both quite friendly to each other," Nueng observes.

 

"But I think P'Vee...is such a nice guy. He's never had any rumours with any other gals apart from his girl. So sweet, just like that Tossara couple." Nueng puts on a dreamy face, while I conceal a frown.

 

"Do hot guys who are so nice like that really exist?" James questions and turns towards me, though I slowly shut my eyes and refuse to look him in the eyes.

 

"My friend's been trying to get his attention over and over again, but he's not interested. His stance is clear that he loves his girl so muchhh."

 

"Quit talking about others." I know I shouldn't vent my frustrations to my friend, but I just can't help saying it out loud. Whenever I see that former Prom Queen, my mind wanders to the Prom King who's paired with her. He professed his love to her just a while ago, but is he aware she's leaning on someone else's chest right now?

 

Idiot… I'm such an idiot. There's nothing else passing through my head.

 

"Well...haven't I got the free time? So I just look around and make some observations." James contends.

 

"Yeah, yeah, let's stop talking about others and discuss our own matters then. So, which faculty are you studying at?" Pit asks me.

 

"Engineering," I reply coolly. The symptoms of heat in my head have not subsided yet, but I try to converse with him as normally as possible. Luckily, he doesn't notice anything unusual, perhaps because I'm a man of few words.

"Then you've gotta know P'Vee, right?" Nueng sits up properly and asks me. His handsome, pretty face and unfurling smile express eagerness to hear the answer.

 

"I know him, yeah." I calmly reply.

 

"How nice. I really like him, but....he's not into guys." His final words fade, in contrast to the first sentence professing his fondness for P'Vee. I furrow my brows and establish an understanding with myself before softly nodding. Sure... 'Vee doesn't like guys.

 

"Even if he likes guys, he wouldn't be into someone like you, bitch!" Pit scoffs into Nueng's face, producing a frown from the pretty boy.

 

"Bitch but available." Nueng retorts and grabs his drink to take another gulp.

 

"Even if you're available, I wouldn't do you. Look there...see his wife? No different from an angel who's fallen from the sky. What have you got to offer?" Pit says, before twisting Nueng's face towards Ploy's group one more time. It makes me look as well, and flash a grin. True... what have I got to offer?

 

We separate at around 2 am. I walk into my room, open my bedroom door and throw myself onto the bed. I wipe my hands on my face, wanting to get up and take a shower, but too lazy to peel myself off the bed to do so. I reach into my pocket to retrieve the vibrating device and check it.

 

The Facebook notification pops up, prompting me to set aside thoughts of taking a shower and instead check the messages.

 

Pit Blue

30 mins

The friendship of drinks for lonely souls throughout the times with Masa Mark Winnie the Pooh, and 2 others

126 likes 8 comments

 

I press the "Like" button on the tag that appears on my timeline. I smile as I read the comments of Pit and Nueng, who are bickering. I'm not an aloof bastard who doesn't care about the world around me. I'm ready to be friends with anyone and make new friends.

 

I scroll down past 'Vee's status before swiping back up to check it again. It's a photo taken of his back, together with an emoticon flashing two fingers. I have no idea who took it, but if I were to venture a guess, it would be when those two were spending time together. I don't know why I have to let out a sigh upon seeing the photo, but never mind his life. Even he can ignore me. I scroll through other people's feeds until the phone interrupts my browsing.

Rrrr~

 

I feel bewildered when I see an incoming call at 3 a.m. I check the caller ID and freeze. Why does he have to call at this time?

 

[Whatcha up to, taking so long to pick up my call?] 

He's so like this. It's so him.

 

"Sleeping," I answer him in a deadpan tone. I try to maintain my composure and keep calm.

 

[Okay. Sleep well then. You said you're heading back to sleep for an early meeting, but those guys tag you in the pub. Such a beautiful friendship.]

 

"So what's your point? I'm about to sleep now." I can't stand it anymore and express my annoyance at him. I sit up and rub my face, awaiting the reply of the one who's fallen silent.

 

[Bullshit. Who are you sleeping with tonight?] He scoffs with a sarcastic comment that numbs my face.

 

"It's my business who I sleep with and whenever I do so. Nothing to do with you." I snap back. The symptoms of boiling rage and frustration creep upon me the more I think of the events that transpired today.

 

[Why does it have nothing to do with me?]

 

"I don't see how I'm involved with you. I'm trying to keep my distance, even. It's you who's the one trying to meddle with me. If you've got so much free time, then use it to go look after your wife!" 

 

[And the one who's barking now isn't my wife!?]

 

"Fucker..." I curse out at him before cutting the line. If Vee is watching over a dog, then I'm probably the dog he's watching over.

 

P'Vee's quite something. He makes me feel as if I'm one of those dogs in front of the faculty, and he comes in to play with me before walking away. When that dog tries to seek other people, he brings some food to entice them. He repeats this process, though in the end, the result is the same: he walks away, and the dog is left with nothing. It may feel good when someone pats its head or when it gets some food, but eventually it will be left all alone with nothing but suffering.