Love Mechanics

Chapter 14. Love me, love me not.

[Mark Masa]

I look at my friend, who's about to light up a cigarette. James simply exhales the smoke slowly, his handsome face not looking at me but to his front.

"Here..." He hands over a cigarette, which I duly put in my mouth.

"Why'd you call me out here?" I ask my friend, who's standing still.

"About you." He says just that, and puts the cigarette in his mouth again. "I'm worried, man. If it's really what I think it is." He mentions and looks at my face.

"Well, I...'ve done it already..." I don't deny, and look to the ground out of shame.

James used to warn me about this once. At that time, I agreed with his advice to let the events pass by and not take them seriously. But in the end, I've fallen deep into the abyss.

"You like him?"

"Yeah..." I answer in my throat.

"And what about him?" He continues questioning.

"I still don't know yet."

"This is what's known as a bastard. Does he know that you like him?" James turns to ask me in an upset tone.

"He's gotta know." Actually, P'Vee must be able to tell. Just now, my friend noticed after a few minutes, so how can P'Vee not notice after all his time with me? Although our relationship has no status or clarity, my feelings for him are very clear.

"He totally deserves to be called a bastard," James says as he throws the cigarette on the floor and uses his shoe to put it out.

"Can't quit him?" He looks at me before asking.

"I'd like to try with him," I say to him softly, and he lets out a sigh before staring at my face.

"Don't get hurt again." He says as he walks past me.

I've been hurt because of these matters many times. The worst was in high school, a year before preparing for the university entrance exams.

I was in 11th grade, while my boyfriend was a college freshman. We loved each other a lot, and he took good care of me. Everything went smoothly, but then I felt he had changed. Eventually, we broke up because he said he had to focus on his studies and that I was too young. Soon after...I saw him arm in arm with another college student, which is one reason I decided to come and study here.

I stop thinking about the past and pay attention to the cigarette in front of me, which is about to be finished. I threw it to the ground, put the light out, and looked at it calmly. A Line message notification makes me flinch, and I take my phone out to read.

Vee Vivis: Your friend said you're with a guy.

Masa Mark: Don't believe him. I'm alone.

Vee Vivis: You can come back in now.

Vee Vivis: I'm worried about you.

I smile at the latest message he sent. I smile as if the sender can see it. I type a reply that I'm heading back in before tucking my phone in my pocket. I looked at the cigarette that I had lit and put out one more time, then let out a strong sigh. Even if things end up like last time, it probably wouldn't hurt as much anyway.

No matter, I've settled on P'Vee a long time ago.

I came inside and saw that many were still seated at the table. I look around but don't see P'Dan and P'Li's crew, though I don't mention anything and just go to sit beside P'Vee like before. He looks at me with a stern expression before turning away.

"I'm sure something is going on," P'Kla whispers from nearby. He looks at me and then at P'Vee.

"Just use that brain of yours to think about other things, not about other people's business." P'Vee snaps back. His friend merely looks at him and smiles impishly.

"Well, other people's business is interesting to think about," James says.

"Right...so what did you guys talk about outside?" P'Pin turns to ask James.

"If he wanted you to know, would he have asked him to go outside?" P'Yoo turns to Pin and points out with a loud voice.

"Yeah...that's true." P'Pin ends his questioning and resumes eating. I feel 'Vee looking at me, though I don't look back at him. I see that my friends are snaking around, wasted.

"Shall we head back? The cat's pissed drunk." James asks me as he points towards Wind.

"You go ahead. I wanna stay a bit longer." I replied to him.

"Mark..." My friend's deep voice calls out, prompting me to look up at him. "Careful now."

"Hey... you're warning him like you're his wife or something. I'll be sure to see him off." Pit tells James.

"I'm worried, Mark."

"I got it... I got it..." I drag my voice and flash a huge grin at my friend, hoping to wheedle him like each time he's displeased, though I forget that we're not the only ones present.

"Mark...don't smile like that. You're really making my heart flutter." P'Nuea uses his hand to touch his chest and says to me.

"Yeah...you look really cute when you make that face, Mark."

"How about being my husband? Just forget P'Bar." I smile bashfully at P'Kla's words. I don't reply to him, since I'm feeling very shy at the moment. I rarely make such a face at anyone unless I'm close to them. Even P'Vee's never seen it, since there hasn't been a chance to make the face to him yet. Speaking of him, I turn to the one beside me.

Thump! The sound of the whiskey glass hits the table hard, till his friends who were teasing me fall silent. His eyes look towards me with unconcealable discontentment.

"I'm gonna head back." The handsome voice utters through the silence. Everyone, including myself, looks up at him.

"Why the rush? If you go back and miss Mark's cutey moments, then I won't be sorry for you." Yeewa says smilingly.

"Like I'm interested. He can do whatever with whomever. None of my business." He says before walking outside. Everyone looks on, confused, while I bite my lower lip.

"Follow him," P'Yeewa whispers to me, though I still hesitate. Should I directly follow him just like that? What about all those things he denied about us not being an item?

"/..."

"You wanna go back with me, Mark?" James suggests one more time.

"Go to him." P'Yeewa urges and shoves my shoulder. "He's really upset, I'm tellin' ya."

"Yeah...I'll go back," I say to my friend after P'Yeewa whispers to me.

I come outside with James, but do not enter his car. I look around for the person who came out earlier, though I can't find him. Didn't he come out just a while ago? Why does he walk so fast?

"The hell's with you... He and I aren't an item. My ass we are! He went out with another guy just now." I turn to follow the deep voice that I'm familiar with. The broad back, which I like to look at, is not far away. Beside him is the trusty motorbike which he likes to ride. His slim fingers are holding a cigarette, while his other hand has the phone.

"The hell he's interested in me. I was sitting right there, but he tried to play the field." I raise my brows upon hearing those words. 

Is he talking about me? Without being too biased, the only guy P'Vee is hanging out with these days is me. But I dare not think that he'd be that jealous over me. Even though he mentioned it before, it was at a time when he was feeling fragile.

"We aren't...Kla! Are you hearing me right now? Mark is Nuea's boy. You guys were trying to set them up."

"Who's whose boy?" I ask softly, so far as my hoarse voice can force out. I had a lot to drink, but perhaps not as much as P'Vee.

"...'m hanging up." P'Vee looks at me before telling the guy on the other side of the line, then hangs up his phone. The sharp eyes look at me stiffly. If it were different people, I'd probably approach them and try to make it up, but this is 'Vee we're talking about. How can I possibly approach this big ass dude and wheedle him over such a trivial matter?

"I thought you said you're heading back," I ask him again, as I didn't get an answer the previous time. He puts the cigarette in his mouth before sucking in and exhaling the smoke.

"And I thought you said you're staying?" He doesn't answer, but queries me back.

"Well..."

"Just keep playing the field with your charming facial expressions. Why'd you come out?" I immediately look up at the guy who's dripping with sarcasm. His eyes are a bit floating due to the influence of alcohol, but they're not red yet.

"The hell are you going on about?"

"Hmph!"

"P'Vee..." I deepen my voice and go closer to him. "Let's talk nicely."

"If you wanna talk nicely, go talk with Nuea or James." He suggests, before gesturing his face towards the pub.

"Don't be like a child."

"Right! I'm a child. And you think you're so grown up and all? You think making such a face at James is so cute of you? Hmph! I wanna just carve that face out with a knife." 

I raise my brows to P'Vee's long rant. His tone of voice indicates his annoyance.

"And why exactly would you want to carve my face out?"

"Not your face. Their faces." The handsome guy clarifies and brushes his hair back.

"The hell are you saying, P''?"

"The hell with you, man. Have you ever made such a face at me?" He looks at me stiffly before turning back upon seeing me chuckle.

"So you feel snubbed." I walk a step closer to him before raising my brows to ask.

"Me? Feeling snubbed by you?" P'Vee answers before looking away.

"P'Vee..." I call out and nudge him. 

"P'Vee..." He turns to me. So I gradually unfurl a smile for him. I lift the edge of my lips all the way. Resulting in my eyes being completely closed, though my eyelids remain open barely enough for me to be able to see his red ears.

"Fuckin' kid..." He says as he gently shoves my head. My adorable side bursts out. It's a side that doesn't come out often, especially not when alcohol isn't involved or when it isn't necessary.

"Are you not angry anymore? Don't be, please...my mouth is aching."

"Are you trying to make up with me?"

"I'm going all out like this, so do you think I just wanna ask you out for a meal?" I ask back jokingly.

"Whatever...I wasn't being peevish." He says softly, so I raise my brows and look up at him. "I was just being jealous." He utters the latter sentence softer than the first, though I instead hear it more clearly.

"Seriously?" I look up and ask him.

"Although I'm not clear, and although you're not confident yet, l can still feel jealous over you, right? I told you before, don't make me jealous again." He says, as I can only look at the guy in front of me with a baffled face.

"Even though we're not an item yet, but aren't you mine, or...?" He pauses between his sentences and walks towards me. He places his slim hand upon my cheek, while his other finger gently circles the frame of my face. "Isn't this all mine?" He moves his face closer and whispers near my lips.

"The fuck... step away," I say and shove him away from me, though he only steps back a little bit. The right hand that was placed on my cheek falls to my shoulder. He places it there, then pulls me to be by his side, using his other hand to snap a photo of us as a couple. I can only make a stupid face while looking at the dark phone screen. The darkness results in just a silhouette of a person with no clear face, making it impossible to determine who the person in the photo actually is.

"Don't go around making such a face to others. It's mine..." 

He turns to face me. His pretty mouth moves next to my ear, and I can feel a nibble in my earlobe. My face becomes uncontrollably heated. I don't dare to look at his face. 

"I'm jealous." The moment he withdraws, his high-bridged nose brushes against my cheek. The handsome person walks a few steps away before turning back and flashing me a smile while waving at me. PVee has left, leaving me standing there with a trembling heart. Haven't I experienced stronger feelings than this before? Why does my heart flutter so much?

I return to sit in my room quietly. The word jealousy from that guy lingers in my head. It's driving me nuts...why does he feel so jealous? We're unclear of our relationship status, but he's asking to be jealous over me? I really wanna kick him. And why does my heart quiver so much upon hearing that deep voice of his? Can I kick myself after I kick him?

"Yeah?" I picked up James' call shortly after hearing the ringing tone. We've just separated not long ago, but why's he calling me again?

[You back at the dorm?]

"I'm back." You just called to ask about that? I inquired back.

[Yeah, well, I saw you chasing after other guys, so I wasn't sure you'd head back.]

"Watch your mouth. Chasing other guys, my ass." I snap back at him.

[Who sent you off? The senior?]

"Pit," I replied.

[I figured...But I saw the senior upload his status at another pub.] I raise my brows at my friend's words.

"You're peeping on him?"

[Yeah. You should learn to do it sometimes too, instead of just playing the field.]

"Hey, bastard. Why you pickin' on me?"

[Yeah...why you pickin' on him? He's always been playing the field like this. Except he used to be the hunter, but now he's trying to be the hunted.] 

I roll my eyes upon hearing Wind's small voice.

"The fuck is wrong with you guys?" I ask.

[We're just fuckers, that's all. Unworthy of being your husband. If I'd known that you also take hubbies, I'd have done you ages ago, Mark.] 

I let out a chuckle upon hearing Wind's peevish tone.

"Who'd be my husband again?"

[Me!]

[My ass you are! Go shower!] I chuckle in my throat at James' voice, while hearing Wind's soft grumbles through the line before he falls silent.

"Are you still there?" I call out to James.

[Yeah!]

"Why're you irritated? The shorty just says he wants me." I tease him, knowing fully well how James thinks of Wind. We don't hide anything from each other, apart from this time regarding my issue, though eventually he catches on.

[Like he can, my ass...go and stick with your own husband!] He hangs up irritably, though I just smile and chortle.

If it were before, I'd be peeved at the suggestion of me being the wifey. But now... don't feel upset at my friend. Rather, my mind flinches, since it's not easy to switch from being the aggressor to the receptor, though when it comes to him, I can accept that.

I pick up my phone, which I just hung up and enter the popular application used by most people. I browse through it as my friend suggested, without any intention to peek at anyone in particular. But seeing him uploading his status at another pub makes me browse and read through the comments. The following post numbs my body.

pVnn

45 mins

I'm jealous, although our status is not clear.

986 likes 42 comments

Yiwaa: Tight-lipped guy.

Bigass Dove: The hell's going on with you guys...what the hell? p/nn: We're friends.

Danny, what, it's Dan: Yeewa's shoe heels you are!? He breaks up with his ex-wife, says he keeps his distance, and then claims he's just friends with Yeewa.

Yiwaa: Open your eyes. The person in the pic ain't me.

Pandora: Who is it then!?

Tootsie Li, mech. eng.: / think it's a guy. Judging by his height and physique.

Pond pawee: Maybe it's Tee. Tee tee, not just hitting iron. 

Tee tee, not just hitting iron: It's me.

U unun: Whatever!

Tootsie Li, mech. eng.: Already dumped by the same kind of

bitch, so he surely wouldn't be interested anymore, right?

Me ra: Who is it?

V fan: Who is it, P'Vee? Hmmm, pVnn: A junior.

Tonkla: What a celebrity my friend is.

I scroll through the comments, reading the various opinions and criticisms, both positive and negative. Many think that PVee has changed his preference from women to men, but he says that's not the case and that we're simply like junior and senior. I'm fine about not announcing our relationship status to the world, though. If anyone asks, I can clearly say that I like guys, which is true. However, in Vee's case, he's never dated any guy before, so it's difficult for him to talk about. He used to have a girlfriend, too, so it's natural that many people are interested when he suddenly makes a switch.

I want to call and admonish him for doing something without thinking thoroughly. He knows full well that he's a former Prom King, yet he still does things to attract other people's gossip. Although there are new kids on the block in the form of the recent Prom King, Fierce, or the extremely dashing Kan, the runner-up, it doesn't mean people have stopped paying attention to P Vee.

If one were to ask how I'm feeling now, I'd immediately say that I'm happy. That's our first couple photo. Even though our faces cannot be seen, I'm well aware that it's P Vee and me. But when I reflect upon it a bit more, I feel worried about him.

Rrrr~

I turn to see the phone that's placed nearby. The phone screen shows the name of the one who's in my mind right now. The corners of my mouth automatically unfurl into a smile when the caller rings in again after I cut off the call.

"What.." To be honest, I admit to still thinking about the incident in that dark corner of the pub.

[Can I video call you?] The deep voice asks, dragging out a bit.

"What the hell, P''?-

[C'mon, hurry.] Hey...so what's the point of asking me for permission? I turn the camera on and look at the one who requested me to do so. I don't know where he is, as all I can see is a dark screen.

"Vee..." I try to call the other person. His handsome face gradually appears on the screen.

[Yeah.] After the acknowledgement comes from within his throat. I then see his handsome face. His slightly red, sharp eyes indicate how much he'd been drinking.

"Why aren't you sleeping? Why'd you call?

[I can't call?]

"Well, you're drunk now," I say to him. I move onto the bed and place my head against the pillow. It's really late now, way past our usual bedtime.

(Well, I...] I raise my brows to see the other person opening his mouth, though he doesn't talk more.

"What?"

[Vee! Who's this in the pic you uploaded?] See as PVee looks away from the camera. The familiar voice that comes through is P'Yoo's.

[It's none of your business.] PVee replies.

[And who's that you're talking to?] I raise my brows when his screen shakes. After a moment, P'Yoo's face appears in place of the blur.

[Are you my daddy or something, Yoo?] Vee walks over and snatches the phone back. Through the screen, I can see the walls of P'Vee's room.

[I'm your brother. And this....] PYoo's fingers point to the phone.

[If you're not gonna get serious with him, then don't talk to him. It's called leading him on.] 

Their voices then die down, replaced by P'Yoo's footsteps. P'Vee is also silent, till I can hear the sound of him getting on the bed.

[You still there?] The deep voice breaks the silence.

"Yeah."l replied  

[Got me thinking.] He grumbles and lifts the phone. We both look at each other before I smile out.

Well, you indeed like to lead me on." [Hey...are you gonna chide me like he did?]

"Nah. It doesn't make me feel bad or anything." I answer him back.

[Really? So you don't feel bad? Why do I feel good, then?]

"mph! You really like leading me on." I rebuke him.

[And you don't like it?] PVee slightly raises his brows as he asks me. The tall one shifts his body back and forth before lying down on the bed and covering himself with a blanket.

"I do..." I reply softly, while flashing a small smile back to him. The pretty eyes look at me before his mouth shapes into a smile.

[You like it when I lead you on?] His brows raise in sync with the pretty smile drawn on his chiselled face. I look at his face for a while and inhale a deep breath into my lungs, before uttering some simple words to the person who's looking back at me.

"I like you..."