Love Mechanics

Chapter 6.The things that have changed.

[Mark Masa]

I walk silently out of the classroom, even though we just finished arithmetic and my classmates were discussing the mistakes they'd made in their calculations. I didn't bother, as the mistakes we made in the classroom today are incomparable to the errors that are lodged in my mind. This is not what I had expected. All these things that have occurred should just pass by, but it isn't that simple.

"Hey P'Vee! Whatcha doin' here?" Fuse's voice booms out, attracting my attention towards the handsome guy not too far away from me. He looks at me and smiles at me before approaching.

"I brought something for your friend," P'Vee says as he passes me a paper bag.

"..." I accept it without replying. I open it and see that it's some study sheets that I assume are for Yeewa, for whom he had told me a couple of days ago he'd bring.

"Not even a thank you. Shall I fix you up?" He says softly while looking at me.

"Thank you", I reply, but avoid his sharp eyes.

"Oh, right...it's good you're here. I have a question to ask you, as you're knowledgeable in this subject. I really wanna know what mistake I made." Fuse says, before unfolding a math sheet on the table.

"Yeah, P'. And the teacher said it's wrong, but didn't allow us to correct it. What a bummer." Kamphan complains before taking a seat next to P'Vee.

We three are in the same group of friends, as I'm closest to both of them

in my department. Fuse is the Prom King of the faculty, so for sure he'd be close to P'Vee, who was the Prom King a couple of years back.

Not only did he get the faculty crown, but he also won the university Prom King title. I don't need to explain about the events in those days, since they've nothing to do with me, although I did feel a strange sensation when I was with him. The other guy is Kamphan, whom I was surprised to see when I first saw his name tag. Although he was later given a new name by the seniors, which stuck, everyone now just calls him Kamphan, including me. In fact, I no longer remember his real name.

"And you aren't gonna listen? Or have you got it already?" P'Vee looks up at me as I sigh before sitting in the empty seat beside him. This isn't the first time I've met him after classes. Each time he comes over, it's for a different reason. The other day, he wanted to discuss a sports event with Kamphan, and on another day, he dropped by to talk to Fuse about the Prom pageant. Every time he comes, he tells me, though it's about something unrelated to me. After he finishes his discussion, he would turn to me and attempt to engage in small talk. If I ignore him, he'd get really mad, and I'd have to give in and talk to him. I've gotten used to this routine by now.

"Why the long face, Mark? Just let out that nice smile. hook you up with some girls later." Kamphan says with a smile of his own. This dude's a handsome one. Not too tall but not so short either. He's got fair skin and a good-looking face, like one of those typical rich kids, which I believe he is. Judging from his fashion sense and other things, he's surely from a well-off family.

"Keep smiling like that and your braces might fall out, Phan." Fuse teases as he smacks Kamphan on the head. That turns his smile at me into a scowl at Fuse.

"It's Kamphan, man. Not just Phan." He says to Fuse.

"Is Kamphan your real name?" P'Vee turns to ask him.

"Well, you seniors wanted me to be called by this name. I might ask my dad if I can really change my name officially." He quips back in his usual mocking attitude.

"Yeah, yeah, Kamphan it is then," P'Vee says indifferently and turns his attention to the math assignment.

"Can you solve it?" Fuse leans his face towards P Vee.

"I've only read three words. Give me some time to read the entire question first." 

'Vee says, as he leans away from Fuse and makes a frowning face.

"Yes, sure, P'." My friend replies and returns to his seat.

"Right here. You guys made a mistake." He suggests, as he points to the paper, though I'm not keen to see it as much as my friends.

"Oh~ That's you right there, Mark. Have a look, my friend."

Kamphan says as he puts me in a headlock and forces me to turn and see it. The result is that my face gets close to Vee's, though I pretend to ignore his pretty face and instead look down at the assignment paper.

"You did this?" He turns to question me, his mouth barely brushing against my cheek. If I hadn't withdrawn, he'd probably touch my cheek. I'm a bit taken aback, though I don't think anyone would've noticed.

"Yeah," I reply to him after straightening myself up. I glance at P'Vee, but he simply nods.

"How'd you get it wrong? This unit here is too much. You just needed to lower it down a bit." He points to the equation above and quickly instructs me.

"I don't know what's up with him these days. He appears disoriented and is unable to perform calculations properly. Does getting one's heart broken screw someone up this much? I can't say, cause even though I'm handsome, no one's ever broken my heart before." Fuse says while shaking his head. I really wanna kick him in the ass, these good-looking guys who've never had their hearts broken.

"I thought you said you got over it," Kamphan asks me. The one beside him looks up at me, too, though I turn my face the other way to avoid P'Vee's gaze.

"I wish it were as easy as cutting a piece of paper," I reply.

"No matter what, don't let it affect your studies." The one beside him says sternly. His voice really cuts at my heart, so much so that I have to turn towards him, which is a big mistake, since those eyes aren't only filled with sternness, but also tenderness and concern, unless it was just my own imagination.

"Yeah," I reply softly in my throat, turning back towards the math sheet in front of me, scribbling down the equation till I come up with the correct answer.

"You're a genius, Mark. He explains to you just once, and you've got it already?" Fuse asks as he leans towards me.

"Who'd be as stupid as you, needing ten explanations before getting it?" Kamphan teases.

"Yeah...I'm a dumbass. I ain't rich. Who'd be like you? Ya got what he wrote down already?"

"I didn't get 'Vee's explanation at all, man. Teach me tomorrow, okay?" He complains with the first sentence, and turns to me to say the latter sentence. 

"I'll teach you guys again," I say to them, receiving wide grins. It's not that they're stupid or anything, just that they didn't pay much attention during classes. As long as they listen to me carefully, they can solve it in no time.

"Then...can I borrow your friend for the day?" P'Vee asks my friends.

"Who, P'?"

"This guy." He points at me after Fuse finishes his question. Those two look at me, perplexed. I feel awkward and simply put on a straight face, as if nothing had happened.

"Mark?"

"Is this dude Mark? If yes...then lemme borrow him."

He says and then grabs my arm to make me stand up. I want to resist, but cannot for some reason. I simply follow him till I reach the pretty motorbike I've seen him ride around campus, parked in front of me. I look at him, confused, but he just flashes a smile at me.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask firmly.

"To see a movie." He replies simply, making me furrow my brows out of confusion.

"To hell with us." I reproach him as I come to my senses. Why the heck do I have to see a movie with him?

"There's no movie theatre in hell." He chides playfully, shooting me another smile.

"P'Vee, I'm not kidding." I deepen my voice before turning back to walk away.

"And neither am I. If you're still downtrodden like some heartbroken guy like this, you'd better go lift your spirits by watching a movie with me." He follows me and grabs my arm to pull me back to the vehicle. I swipe him away gently, and he turns towards me.

"And why do I have to go?"

"It's a new movie. I don't know what it's about either."

"..." I remain silent as I look at the person in front of me. Just him coming around here every day gets on my nerves so badly, and now he's making things even worse.

"C'mon, just tag along with me, man. I ain't got anyone to go with." He says as he finally gives in to my gaze. He pats my shoulder a couple of times and pushes me forward.

"I don't wanna see it."

"The hell? Are you missing Bar so much that you don't wanna do anything? Not even watching a movie with me?" But why do I have to go with him? I've only talked to him just a few times. Okay... maybe we've had good talks recently, but that's because he said what he wanted, while I kept quiet. I just reply when asked, though even that got on my nerves and made me annoyed.

"I don't wanna go," I answer before turning towards his handsome face. He has so many friends; why not invite them? He even has a girlfriend, but why go with me when our relationship status is unclear?

"Can't you go with me? Are you gonna remain stuck in the past?

Don't you wanna move forward? You won't find happiness in the present if you stay stuck in the past." The serious voice says, his sharp eyes fixated on me. But I'm not so capable of deciphering the meaning behind those eyes. I can't even decode the reason why he's doing what he's doing.

"Why do I have to go with you?"

"If not with me, then who will you go with? Those two fellas? Or have you got any other friends? I see you spending time alone these days."

"Then let me try again..." I say once the person opposite me finishes speaking. "Why do you have to go with me?"

"Why, you little..I just told you that you're all alone, so I wanna take you out to relax."

"Why don't you go with your girlfriend?" I ask him before he spews any more gibberish that I won't be able to understand.

"She's still in class." Oh....so that's how it is.

"And why not go with your friends?"

"What's with all the questions? If I were to go with my friends, would I be asking you now?"

That's the part...which I don't get. Why me? Even though I still didn't understand why it had to be me, I still tagged along with him. Seeing a movie with someone isn't so strange, and it would've been nothing but for me thinking too much. He seems to be calm about all this, but I really don't understand myself, even though I was the one who emphasised to him that everything that happened between us is water under the bridge. We're just acquaintances who are senior and junior in the same faculty. That's what I told myself, but it doesn't mean that's what I think.

It might sound bad, but I often think of him when I have free time. Especially in the days after he did it to me in his room, I thought of him even more. It's probably because we did it there, which makes the incident stick in my head. After that, he apologised to me and we've been on good terms since. He greets my group of friends, and my friends are so respectful that they greet him with a wai every time. This makes me look at him often, to the point where I think of him more than I feel about P Bar these days.

"Which movie should we watch?" P'Vee turns and asks me after he checks out the movie listing.

"Didn't you say there's a new movie?"

"Oh...you pay attention to my words." He mentions with a smile.

Well, it's just the two of us conversing, so who else could I be paying attention to?

"..." I choose to remain silent. I look at him in the face before turning towards the movie listing. The new action movie seems interesting. Fuse and Kamphan already saw it, but I haven't had the chance yet.

"I already have a movie in my mind, but I'm just asking you in case you have something you wanna see in particular," P'Vee says.

"That one." I point towards the movie I want to see.

"I don't like action films. Just watch what I wanna watch, okay? It's my treat." He suggests and goes to stand in line to purchase the tickets without waiting for my response. I let out a sigh to the guy named Vee. If you're not going to wait for an answer, then don't bother asking at all. What a waste of energy.

When he told me he didn't like action movies, I thought he'd choose a horror movie or something similar, but it was the complete opposite. He brought me to see a super cheesy romantic movie. Is he being insensitive, or has he already forgotten that I just got heartbroken recently?

"Don't cry when you watch it." The guy sitting beside me teases.

"I'm not that sentimental," I reply calmly, lifting my cup of soda for a sip. I watch as the woman and man move their lips closer together for a kiss, their eyes looking at each other to convey their sweet love. The actors do a great job that immerses the audience, many of whom are probably smiling along with this scene. But not me. I'm watching with my mouth agape at their cheesiness.

To think of the perfect sweet couple of the moment, it can't be any other than the legendary Prom Kings, Tossakan and 'Bar. But in my mind, I imagine the actor as the guy beside me and the actress as a pretty senior from another faculty. Hmph! Can this get any cheesier?

"Mark..aren't you enjoying it?" The one beside me asks softly.

"What should I say?" I reply wryly. I enjoy it so much. I was recently heartbroken, and then I slept with a guy who had a girlfriend, so this is a great movie, then?

"Man...just enjoy it. Think of the moments when you're happy." He says as he places his arm around my neck, embracing my shoulder.

"Get off me."

"The reason I took you to this movie is to see if you'd be happy watching it with me." He whispers into my ear. I turn to the one beside me, who's smiling gently, and I can see his smile clearly despite the darkness. So clearly that I want to ask him whether he feels any guilt in doing this, but I'm afraid of the answer. And that's precisely why I don't want to be around him.

After we leave the theatre, we find a place to eat. Actually, I'm hesitant to use the word "we", but I have no idea how else to call us. Anyhow, we pass a few restaurants, but there's no indication that the one next to me will walk into any of them.

"What do you wanna eat? It'll be my treat. You've already treated me to the movies." I stop in front of a famous Japanese restaurant and turn to ask the one beside me.

"Hey! I took you out, so it's gotta be my treat." He turns and tells me.

"..." I don't reply to anything but send him a weary look. Amidst the Silence between us, Vee looks into my eyes before his own sharp eyes pierce into mine.

It's as if we can communicate through our eyes, because after that glaring contest, his sharp eyes soften along with a sigh, as if to indicate that he yields to me.

"Half-half then, okay?"

"Yeah," I reply from inside my throat. At least sharing the bill is better than letting him treat me to something. I don't wanna owe him anything.

"So what do you wanna eat?" P'Vee asks.

"Up to you..."

"Don't put it up to me. If it's up to me, then I'd take you to eat spicy minced pork salad at the street stall in my alley." He says curtly as if displeased. I furrow my brows, and he responds by furrowing his.

"What?" I ask and glare back.

"Nothing..." the deep voice replies and turns away. I then ignore the matter and look around to see if there's a restaurant I want to eat at.

"Grilled chicken then," I say and point towards the province's famous chicken restaurant. P'Vee nods and leads the way.

I'm not surprised at all that many people stare at us on the way there. It may be strange to see two guys following one another all around the department store, though I'm not the type of person to care about what others think. But as for the guy in front of me, he's been furrowing his brows and making a stern face since we finished talking a while ago. I understand that he might not be able to tolerate other people's gossiping, but so what? I wasn't the one who dragged him out here.

"Why are so many eyes on us?" The deep voice utters, clearly indicating a suppressed annoyance.

"How would I know?" I reply softly. P'Vee looks up at me and mutters something out of my earshot.

"I think that table's checking you out," P'Vee says and glances sideways.

"Let them."

"A whole flock of guys. Seems like they wanna eat you up instead of their chicken." 

Upon hearing him say that, I try to sneak a peek so as not to alert them. The entire group consists of cute and handsome young fellas having a meal, probably hanging out after their classes finished.

"Like 'em?" The guy in front of me asks, bringing my attention back to the table.

"Too young," I reply shortly.

"So ya like older ones, huh?"

"As you know." I don't answer directly, and he doesn't continue asking. Our food arrives at the table, switching our attention to it.

The food tastes just right, easy to eat, not too salty nor bland. The chicken is crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, according to the famed secret recipe as advertised. I'm no connoisseur, but I just eat what I want and then decide if it's delicious or not.

"I don't think it tastes bad. Can't you at least make a face like it's tasty?" The one in front of me says.

"That's just how my face is." I look up at him sternly and reply. Do we have to make facial expressions to show whether it's delicious or not? Isn't it enough just to know it's tasty ourselves?

"As if I forced you to come eat here." He lowers his face and says softly, his hand stroking around the chicken in his dish before picking it up to eat.

"Well, I didn't really wanna come with you in the first place," I utter softly, paying attention to the food in my plate as he does.

"I just want you to enjoy yourself too, not frowning all day long. I feel guilty seeing you like that, you know." He says in a serious tone.

"Why do you have to feel guilty? You didn't do anything wrong."

"Well, I..." The deep voice disappears into his throat as our eyes meet. "I don't want you to be stuck in the past. The present and the future hold so much for you. You're only..."

"If you're gonna talk about P'Bar, I'm fine now." I cut him off before he could finish. He furrows his brows as if to want me to repeat what I'd just said, though I won't. I simply stare at him.

"Whaddaya mean you're okay? It's only been a few weeks, and you're telling me that you're okay? I don't believe you. Your face is like one who has a million things on his mind, and you're saying you're okay?"

I do admit that there's a lot on my mind, but I don't think of P Bar that often. Not thinking of someone who hurt us means there must be something else that draws our attention. I don't want to admit, though, that the matter which distracts me from P'Bar is sitting right here in front of me. I can bet my life that P'Vee will never know that what he's doing for me these days makes me think a lot.

I'm glad that I've cleared the air with 'Bar, and that we're ready to move on as junior and senior. As for his boyfriend, I no longer interfere, letting them be. I've taken a big step back from P'Bar, and I don't encounter him at the faculty nor see him on social media. But it's the opposite for the person in front of me. P'Vee likes to appear when my mind is clear. And when I don't want to do anything, he takes me out like he's doing now. I don't understand his actions, I really don't. Although I've tried to think about it, I just can't see the logic behind his actions.

"I don't think about P'Bar anymore," I reply. This is another thing! I don't understand. Why does he have to think that my mind is on P'Bar, even though the one sitting in front of me is him? Is it possible that the one so far away can make our hearts flutter as much as the one who we see every day?

"Then what do you think of?"

"You, maybe?" I don't answer, but ask him back.

"Stop pulling my leg." The one in front of me says with a long face.

"If it's really how I think it is, then I don't think you'd be able to help me," I respond and sit back in my chair, looking at the confused expression of the one in front of me.

"Honestly, I still feel guilty, and I wanna somehow make up for it," P'Vee replies. "If I'm able to help, then..."

"If you feel guilty, then don't. I don't hold any grudge against you." I cut him off.

"But I still feel bad." He retorts and glares at me, till I have no choice but to sigh in resignation.

"If I need your help with anything, then I'll let you know," I utter softly, avoiding the gaze of the person in front of me.

"Good then. Didn't know that you can also be a well-behaved boy." He quips as he flashes me an arresting smile.

"You're just a couple of years older than me."

"That still makes you younger." He counters.

"Whatever."

"Whatever, my ass." His voice becomes stern, his sharp eyes glare at me, though I don't back down.

"...Yes." Although I'm confident in my glare, I don't know why I have to avoid his gaze each time.

"Good boy..." Or maybe I do know the reason, but just don't want to admit it.