Interminable

"Kaew... Kaew!"

 

The voice rang faintly as if coming from afar. A thin pair of brows creased into a frown. The shake grew stronger in response to the caller's agitation. The small eyes batted open only to squint again from the harsh light before slowly blinking again to meet the person to whom the voice belonged.

 

"Ruedee?" His voice was throaty and raspy when he called his classmate's name. The girl wheeled about to pour water from a waiting pitcher and propped him up.

 

"How do you feel? Why didn't you go to see the doctor?" The worried friend asked in a stern tone. Her friend's sickly pallor stirred in Ruedee an urge to haul him off to the hospital at once.

 

"Hospital?"

 

"Of course, you are. You're terribly unwell, even when the fever has gone," she said, lifting a hand to touch her friend's perspiring forehead. Though the fever was gone, Kaewta's body was far too cold, despite Ruedee seeing with her own eyes that he lay beneath several heavy blankets.

 

"I'm all right, Ruedee. Just a little exhausted."

 

"At least, let a doctor have a look."

"No need. I'm much better now."

 

"Suit yourself!"

"Did you come for me, Ruedee?"

 

"Yes, I came with Phi Chai. He's waiting downstairs," Ruedee replied, hinting at a peevish air.

 

"Oh? What's with the look, Ruedee?

 

"It's that Saen! He blocked my brother from coming up to visit you with me. Even me, he hardly let me through either. If I hadn't run into Auntie Pen, I doubt I'd have made it up here at all. Does he think I'd pounce upon you or something?" His friend's account made Kaewta raise an eyebrow in surprise.

 

"I suppose not. Maybe Saen's just not familiar with you both yet."

 

"Go on and make excuses for him. That man gives me the creeps."

 

"Saen? Creep? You're overthinking, Ruedee." Kaewta gave her a thin smile at his friend's idea.

 

"I'm not overthinking. He doesn't mind me much, but Saen wouldn't even let my brother cross the threshold of the White Manor."

 

"Really?"

 

"Forget it. Are you hungry? I'll bring you some rice porridge. Auntie Pen just went downstairs a second ago."

 

"Let's go down together. Isn't Phi Chai waiting at the white pavilion?"

 

"You can walk?" Ruedee asked again, worried that her friend might faint on his feet as he had the last time.

 

Kaewta rose to stand beside the bed. Even though he was still weak and staggered slightly, he managed a smile to put his classmate at ease. The two of them made their way down to the white pavilion, where the Chai was already waiting. Three bowls of rice porridge had been set out. However, there was no sign of his mother...

 

"Oh, right, Ruedee. What's the date today?" Kaewta asked the one beside him.

 

"The 20th. Why?"

"The 20th? Oh... I have to go today."

 

"Go where?"

"I need to see Ajarn Kitti. I have to pick up the drawing."

 

"You're still unwell," Ruedee reminded

"I must go."

 

"Kaew, I think.." The young man protested when he saw his sister's friend's pale complexion.

 

"No, I have to. I told him that I would pick him up. I gave him my word." That sentence was spoken in a drifting murmur, furrowing the brow of the one listening.

 

"Pick up? Pick up whom?" Ruedee touched her classmate's arm.

 

"What?" Kaewta jolted, looking at Ruedee as he raised his eyebrows.

 

"You have just said you had to pick someone up. Who did you mean by that?"

 

"I didn't say that. I only said I needed to collect my drawing from Ajarn Kitti."

 

"But-"

"Let's just go."

 

"Kaew. Ruedee and I will fetch it for you. Please take a rest." The young man gently urged him again, but Kaewta had already risen to his feet, turning toward the door.

 

"No. I'll go pick him up myself." Ruedee's mouth opened to voice the inquiry, but Chai placed a firm hand on her arm, silencing her, before catching up with Kaewta to the side.

 

"Then let me take you there," Chai offered. Kaewta halted his step and regarded his friend's brother in silence.

 

"Let him take you there. You're still recovering. Besides, I promised I'd go with you to pick up your drawing."

 

At last, Kaewta gave a slight nod at his friend's reasoning before stepping into the vehicle.

 

The university fell into absolute quiet during the semester break, with only a handful of lecturers still coming in to prepare for the next term. Upon arriving, Kaewta requested to be dropped off in front of the faculty building and made his way toward the professor's office, with Ruedee following closely behind.

 

"Ruedee?" The voice calling her name made the young woman turn.

 

"Auntie Sophee?" Ruedee arched a brow in surprise, not expecting to see her relative here. "What has brought you here?"

 

"I came to see Ajarn Kitti about an artwork."

 

"An artwork?" Ruedee questioned. At the mention of Ajarn Kitti, she grew even more wary because she disliked that very face. Turning to look for her friend, she caught only a glimpse of his back, walking briskly ahead without waiting.

 

"Yes. And what brings you to the university during the semester break, Ruedee?"

 

"I'm here to accompany my friend in picking up a drawing. He's quite possessive of it, so we had to hurry,"

 

Ruedee playfully teased her dearest friend in front of her aunt, causing Sophee to chuckle fondly.

 

"I see. And where is your friend, though?"

 

"He's already rushed ahead. I have no idea what the hurry is about."

 

"In that case, you should go after him. I'm attending to my business now," Sophee smiled before whisking away to walk in the opposite direction.

 

Kaewta stopped, gasping for breath. Inside the art storage, Ajarn Kitti sat at his desk, peeking up at the sound of footfalls. Seeing who it was, his smile curved up to greet that visitor.

 

"Oh, Kaewta."

 

"Good morning, Ajarn," the boy gave him a respectful wai, though his eyes darted about, searching for his art.

 

"Come to collect your art, have you?"

 

"Yes," Kaewta replied, yet his eyes weren't on the questioner, so he failed to notice when the other person closed in.

 

"You could have waited until the term resumed."

 

"Ajarn?" Kaewta was taken as the man's familiar cologne reached him, a telltale sign of just how near he had come, so close that their bodies nearly touched.

 

"Or to collect your drawing back isn't your actual intention?"

 

"What do you mean, sir?"

 

Kaewta took a step back. The professor's harassing demeanour and that strange smile unsettled him.

 

"Come on, Kaew, admit it. You're also drawn to me, aren't you?"

"Ajarn!" 

 

Kaewta slapped away the hand that tried to touch his cheek. His revulsion surged forth; he had heard that Arjan Kitti harboured a deviant sexual preference. The man had shown an interest in several young men in the faculty, including Kaewta. That was why, whenever he had to submit or receive an assignment, he always brought Ruedee along. But today, in his haste, he had entirely forgotten about his friend. Besides, he hadn't expected such an incident at all.

 

SMACK!

A sharp slap of the backhand landed on the soft cheek, turning the face with its force. Kaewta looked at the one known as his teacher, unbelieving.

 

"If you want a good grade, then submit yourself to me." The professor's voice was smeared and breathy, out of his usual. His eyes bore into Kaewta's startled face with unrestrained fervour.

 

"I will report this to the chancellor that you use such a thing to intimidate students!"

 

"Are you threatening me?"

 

"I'm not threatening. I'll make sure I do if you cross that line. But if you stop now, I will speak of this to no one." Kitti seemed shaken when he brought up the chancellor.

 

"Really? You won't report this to the chancellor?" Kitti's attitude grew less rigid. He no longer pressed forward with the boy.

 

"No, I won't." Kaewta breathed out a relieved sigh, for his threat seemed effective.

 

"Your drawing is over there." 

 

Kitti gestured toward the corner of the room. Kaewta's work remained veiled in a white cloth, just as it had been since the day it was submitted for grading. Yet something about it unsettled him. It felt like someone within the image was watching him with reproach, as if he were never truly alone in the room. And so...Kitti had chosen to cover it.

 

Kaewta turned to the corner of the room where Kitti had pointed out. Pulling off the cloth, he took in his artwork with fulfilment swelling in his chest. He smiled at the person's portrait, stretching his arm for a caress, but then, a hand clamping a handkerchief over his mouth and nose from behind startled him. An odd fume filled his lungs as he gasped for air. Disorientation struck his mind before he lost all his senses...

 

Contentedly, Kitti watched the slender figure in his arms. He tucked the handkerchief into his pocket, lowered himself, and cradled the unconscious boy on the floor. Those calloused hands groped a finely shaped chin, drinking in the sight of a smooth, unblemished visage. One by one, he slipped open the buttons, his breath turning shallow with the uncontrollably mounting desire. Overcome by the moment, he leaned in, taking in the faint, sweet scent at the curve of his neck.

 

"Kaew... your scent is sweeter than anyone I've ever met," Kitti murmured as if delirious. The tip of his nose aimed for Kaewta's soft cheek, but he had to stop when those tapering eyes of the person, who should have been unconscious, snapped open all of a sudden.

 

"Huh!"

 

Kaewta's pale hand shoved the one straddling him away so hard that it sent him hurling. Kitti clutched his aching chest from the impact. His eyes widened in disbelief. The boy hadn't weakened at all; quite contrary, he even wielded a strength no ordinary man should have had when Kitti was certain that Keawta had already lost consciousness!

 

"You wretched bastard! What do you think you're doing to Khun Kaew!" The deep voice thundered, and the once-small eyes now burned a furious red, piercing through Kitti's figure.

 

"Kaew. You're misunderstanding. I just saw he fainted..."

 

"You filthy liar! You have wicked thoughts about Khun Kaew! Are you intending to violate him?"

 

The low voice still rang out from the boy's full lips, but it was no longer the voice Kitti had heard, no longer Kaewta's voice he adored. Not to mention, those narrow eyes that turned bloody red frightened him to the very core.

 

"Ugh! No, wait..." Kitti stammered and staggered back as Kaewta inched closer, but since he failed to flee, his throat was clutched around by that small hand. The more he tried to let loose, the tighter it squeezed, cutting off his

 

"Don't.. help!" Even his plea couldn't leave his throat as the pale arms lifted him slowly off the ground.

 

"You're vile! A disgrace! Khun Kaew is Khun Phra Nai's beloved, not some lowly creature like you!"

 

"Urgh!" Kitti's eyes rolled back. The air in his lungs dwindled.

 

"Saen, let him go!"

"But-"

 

"I said, let go!" A voice with no clear source thundered. Kaewta's hand released its grip around Kitti's neck.

 

The man collapsed to the ground, hacking and gasping, craving for air. He dared not just to glimpse at Kaewta, because now, he was certain the figure before him was no longer the boy he had been fond of.

 

"Get lost, or I shall strangle you to your death right here!" That voice still came from the boy's mouth. Kitti scrambled away as fast as he could. He was clueless as to why that entity possessing Kaewta's body set him free. He had to run! But...

 

THUD! Kaewta stumbled forward as Kitti clobbered him from behind, snatching the boy's portrait before bolting away.

 

"Khun Yai, sir!" Kaewta's figure turned toward the void beside him.

"Let him go for now."

 

"But he wronged Khun Kaew. Why did you grant him mercy?"

"Did I?"

 

"Then why did you hinder Saen, Master? Why didn't you let me squeeze that wicked throat and take his last breath then?" 

 

The low voice, emanating from his slight stature, infuriatingly said as he cast a reproachful look at the void beside him.

 

"Did I hinder you, Saen? It's Kaewta." Red-rimmed eyes reflected slight perplexity before twinkling when the hint was comprehended. "Do you understand now?"

 

"I do, Master."

 

Kaewta's body gradually collapsed to the ground the moment Ruedee's distant call reached him. From the emptiness where the voice had resonated, the figure of a tall, slender man began to take form. He knelt beside the small youth, and his pallid hand gently raised Kaewta's shapely head and placed it on his lap. The eyes full of tenderness gazed down at the boy's closed-lidded face as he brushed a soft hand across the flawless cheek that was now stained with a cruel, reddened mark. 

 

Suddenly, the gentle glint in his eyes darkened into a blazing wrath, sending a storm through the room that made the drawings on the walls flutter wildly, some nearly torn from their frames, until calm returned with Ruedee's footsteps.

Though Death turn me into dust, my love shall bide; 

As watchful knight, I guard thee, sworn as guide.

Should any knave lay claim to thee for gain,

I'll smite, I'll slay, and snap his skein.

"Kaew!"

The girl advanced toward her classmate, lying unconscious on the floor. After a quick survey of the room, she found no trace of Ajarn Kitti, so he believed Kaewta had just passed out from fever, which had only just been relieved.  Agitated by worry, she shook his arm, but Kaewta showed no sign of regaining consciousness. But her anxiety eased at the sight of her elder brother, who was equally shaken. He abruptly cradled the boy in his arms, carried him to his motor car, and made haste toward the hospital.

 

Along the way, Ruedee relentlessly blamed herself. If only she hadn't been caught up in conversation with her aunt, Kaewta wouldn't have ended up collapsed on the floor, with Phi Chai soothing her like this. The siblings had completely forgotten about the drawing, which was the whole reason Kaewta had hurried here in the first place to retrieve it.

 

They only recalled it when the boy finally woke up later that evening. Still, Kaewta stubbornly insisted on retrieving it himself until Ruedee resigned and volunteered to go in his stead with her brother.

 

"Is it not there?" asked Kaewta. His slender eyes were full of fright. At Ruedee's nod, he nearly sprang off the bed to go after his drawing on his own. It felt as if he had lost something so precious from his grasp, leaving him so restless he could hardly endure. If he could not find it, it felt as though his heart might be torn apart. He couldn't explain why such feelings welled up so forcefully inside him, especially since it was just a drawing. He could always draw another one... But in fact, it was the promise he gave that was aching him so.

 

"Kaew, don't be difficult! When you passed out like that, there's no way we're letting you leave now!"

 

Ruedee reproached. It wasn't that she didn't want to track down her friend's missing artwork, but how could she let the sick one run through the night's dew? Besides, she and her brother had already searched for it till late. If they were going to find it, they would have done so by now unless they looked at Arjan Kitti's house.

 

"Passed out?" The young man echoed his friend's remark. He now remembered-he hadn't passed out on his own, but someone had caused him to pass out. When he woke up, he inspected himself. Finding nothing odd or out of place, he reckoned Ruedee had reached him in time. And so, he chose not to speak of the incident in that room for fear it might unsettle everyone.

 

"Yes. My brother and I were so worried about you," Ruedee said and didn't forget to put in a good word for her brother, too.

 

"That's right, Kaew. You're not very well, so don't be so headstrong," Chan Pen joined in with a similar rebuke, her head shaking in quiet exasperation at her son's obstinate ways.

 

"But... I promised him I'd come to take him back," Kaewta murmured.

 

"You've been like this since morning. Just who do you want to pick up?" Ruedee questioned loudly. Chai, who was standing nearby, didn't stop her because he was wondering as well.

 

"He... he's waiting..." Spontaneously, Kaewta kept mumbling.

 

"Who is it, Kaew? Who's waiting for you?" Chai gently pried his younger sister away and took over, sensing Ruedee's mounting frustration as Kaewta kept repeating the same words.

 

"Yes?" The boy flitted up his gaze at Chai and raised his brows in bafflement when the taller man sank onto the bed and fixed his eyes upon him.

 

"You said 'he's waiting.' Who do you mean by that? Who are you going to pick up?" Chai, trying to stay composed, slowly asked the boy, who frowned as though he couldn't quite make sense of the question.

 

"No, I didn't say anything," Kaewta said, at last, his voice quiet and uncertain. He glanced between his friend, his brother, and finally, his mother. His clear, guileless eyes held no deceit, but he truly didn't understand. Chai let out a quiet sigh, reaching up to press a hand to Kaewta's forehead before turning to Chan Pen and Ruedee.

 

"His fever relapsed."

"Ah, that's why he kept rambling like this." 

 

Ruedee sighed and gestured for her brother to bring some medicine. The girl helped Chan Pen wipe Kaewta down, coaxing him into taking his medicine. She finally found peace of mind when she saw the one in bed drift into a fevered sleep.

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

"The spy we dispatched to observe the Front Palace has reported no suspicious individuals. What are your thoughts on this?" 

 

A serious voice posed the question to those gathered around the table. Yet the youngest among them found himself unable to focus on the discussion. His eyes and thoughts kept drifting elsewhere, refusing to settle on the matter at hand. 

 

"I believe we should not withdraw our men from the Front Palace just yet. We ought to continue our observations a while longer-there may still be valuable information to uncover."

 

"Hmm. And what of you, Chao Muen Samur Jairatch? What is your opinion on this?" 

 

When Luang Sanor addressed him by his full title, it drew the young noble's attention back to him.

 

"I would suggest dividing our men into two groups. Beyond monitoring the Front Palace and those close to His Majesty, I believe we should also investigate those who have recently entered royal service." His words prompted elder members to exchange meaningful glances.

 

"Could the newcomers truly be involved, Khun Phra Nai?" one of them inquired.

 

"I believe suspicion should not be limited to either the old guard or the new. Though it may strain our resources, if we can identify the culprit swiftly, the effort will prove worthwhile, sir." Khun Phra Nai continued his explanation. 

 

His reasoning earned several nods of approval, and soon the assembly began selecting men to shadow those deemed suspicious. The young noble offered several other suggestions, some of which were approved and others politely rejected. He acknowledged the decisions gracefully and voiced his objections respectfully but firmly when he believed something might harm the greater good.

 

The meeting continued until late afternoon. The normally composed noble found his gaze straying repeatedly to one particular corner of the room, which prompted Luang Sanor's curiosity. The Lordship observed Chao Muen Samur Jairatch, whom he held in high regard, and followed his line of sight to discover what was distracting the man of his son's age. He allowed himself a chuckle upon realising it was the young attendant under his supervision, sitting in the corner awaiting any summons from the assembled nobles. That mischievous little Kaew...

 

"Stay and dine with us this evening. I have already instructed the servants to prepare a performance." Luang Sanor uttered.

 

After the meeting concluded, a performance by court dancers was arranged to create a diversion. It was meant to mislead outsiders into believing that the nobles had gathered here merely to admire the beauty of the Luang Sanor Duriyang's performers, not to draw suspicion.

 

"Go on, Kaew, tell Chaba to set the supper at once."

 

"Yes, sir." The youth, who had kept his head low since entering the room, responded before swiftly scurrying out on his knees. 

 

The young nobleman watched his retreating figure with wistful eyes, heaving a heavy sigh as the slender frame slipped through the doorway. His breath caught when he turned back and found himself under the pinning gaze of Luang Sanor.

"What is it, Yai? Do you still hold a grudge against Kaew over that incident?" Luang Sanor asked.

 

"No, sir. I bear no resentment toward him." The young noble replied, though he wasn't brave enough to meet the elder's eyes.

 

"If that is so, then why do you keep staring at him so intently as if you disapproved of him?" Luang Sanor's sentence was coupled with a chuckle. He teased the young man before him with amusement at that flustered demeanour.

 

"l... I didn't disapprove of him, sir. I simply... wasn't aware I was looking at him that way."

 

"Oh? So, that means you approve of Kaew?"

".."

 

"Haha! You misinterpreted my meaning, I'm afraid, Yai. I mean, are you fond of Kaew's impudence in daring to land a blow on your chin?"

 

"Er-" Khun Phra Nai didn't know what face to wear upon realising it was just Luang Sanor's jest to make him blush.

 

"Well, well. Let's head downstairs. Chaba should finish setting up the supper by now."

 

"Yes, sir."

 

The young aristocrat sighed to himself, berating himself for letting his thoughts run wild and muddle his concentration before him. The harder he tried not to look, the more impossible it became. Just glimpsing that familiar silhouette that kept him dreaming about every night, urging him to take an even closer look at the other person. Watching those light-skinned arms setting down glasses of water on the table, his heart was pounding like the monastery drum.

 

Though he tried to glance away when that figure crawled in to take Luang Sanor's command, his gaze still held on the impeccable cheeks that were still imprinted in his mind and the scented water that was still etched in his memory.

 

The dark lips were tightly compressed. Those long lashes hid narrow eyes, and the furrowed, fine-angled eyebrows hinted at annoyance, which the man was certain he was the source. With that mere thought, the delight swelled within his chest, causing his heart to leap with elation because, at the very least, he hadn't gone unnoticed, even if not in the way he had hoped.

 

The young noble did not realise just how often his eyes sought out that slender figure throughout the evening meal. Luang Sanor, however, discreetly smiled, feigning indifference yet making sure to summon Kaewta now and then. The older man found amusement in watching the young noble waver between bright delight and crestfallen gloom. Still, he could not resist provoking him further. 

 

Kaew, the youth under his care, intermittently cast a disapproving glare as he was called to serve this and that to Khun Phra Nai so much that sometimes he had to slip away and leave the other to take his place.

 

"If you don't want me to call you 'Lady,' then tell me your name."

"Bah! You'd fancy a fist to the face?!"

 

"Then tell me your name so I know how you'd like to be called."

"I won't."

 

Fine. I shall keep calling you 'lady,' then.

"You scoundrel!"

 

The quarrel rang clear even at the foot of the main house stairs. Luang Sanor, having seen Khun Phra Nai off last, cocked an eyebrow at the ruckus while the young lord himself hastened toward the bickering pair with solicitude.

 

"What's the matter, Saen?" Khun Phra Nai watched the diminutive youth, whose arms were pinned by burly brothers. The unblemished face cast an affronted look on both him and his subordinate.

 

"It's Lady Chui Chai. He doesn't allow me to call her 'lady,' yet keeps withholding her name."

 

"Quit calling me a lady!" The small one hissed, half-ready to spring up and throttle Saen, only it was out of reach.

 

"Hahaha! Why don't you just tell Yai and Saen your name, or shall I let Saen keep on with Lady Chui Chai like this?"

"Uncle!" Kaewta shot the elder a wounded look before muttering, barely above a whisper,

 

"Kaew..."

 

"What was that? Speak up, or Khun Yai shan't hear a word," Saen teased with a broad grin, emboldened now that someone egged him on against the boy who had once dared punch his master's chin.

 

"Kaew! Kaew, Kaew, Kaew, did you hear that? And if your nobleman still claims you did not, I'll lop those ears off!"

 

Kaewta's yelling sent Luang Sanor into hearty laughter, yet Khun Phra Nai could only stand stiff. Though he felt the urge to laugh, the boy's blazing wrath strangled it. The man touched his ear nervously, certain that if Kaewta broke loose, the youth, whose face flamed crimson to his ear-tips with rage, would strike there first. In truth, Khun Phra Nai already knew the young one's name, but it seemed Luang Sanor much preferred teasing his ward until Kaewta was forced to bellow it for all to hear.

 

"I envy you, Saen," Khun Phra Nai murmured while he was homebound. Sean, who was in the chauffeur's seat, cast a look at him in bafflement.

 

"Envy me? What is it for, Master?"

 

"If only I could banter with him so freely, the weight in my heart would be lighter." The nobleman sighed, gaze drifting to the waning moon sky, whose darkness felt no gloomier than his own.

 

"If that were true, I suppose you'd need to keep a compress at hand," Saen quipped, drawing a laugh from his master. The memory of Kaewta's evening antics-equal parts endearing and frightening-urged Khun Phra Nai to touch his chin, then his ear.

 

"Aye, he undoubtedly has a heavy fist."

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

"...Yai, Yai."

"Uh, My Lordship!"

 

The young noble jolted, only now realising he had been craning toward the rehearsal pavilion so intently that he had not heard Luang Sanor's calling. How mortifying to behave so immature, so unlike a grown man of rank by always peering after someone as though love-struck under his elder's very eye.

 

"Where was your mind off to?" Luang Sanor asked, with a hint of aggrieved tone.

 

"My apologies, sir."

 

He raised his hands in a wai and bowed in atonement, causing himself not to catch the faint smile that tugged on the one opposite.

 

"The council has long dispersed. Will you return home, or stay and share supper with me first?"

 

The more His Lordship knew the man, the fonder he felt. Therefore, away from duty, he addressed Khun Phra Nai with a term of endearment.

 

"Er.." His awkward hesitation drew His Lordship's sigh.

 

"Kaew will not be coming today."

"I was not-"

 

"You were not what?" Dusky eyes met ones casting back at his own; within them trembled confusion, hope and, at times, a cloud of sorrow.

 

"I wasn't looking for Kaewta, sir."

 

"You aren't? I saw you crane after him till your neck nearly broke. Payom has been ill for many days, so Kaew couldn't come to rehearse. I have just sent Kla off with medicine for her."

 

"...If so, please excuse me, sir." Khun Phra Nai raised his hands in a respectful farewell and quickly stood up.  His expression was so transparent that Luang Sanor could only heave a deep sigh. Why were the young ones so tight-lipped when it came to speaking their minds?

 

"Yai." The quiet call halted him.

"Yes?"

 

"What causes you to fear so much?"

"..."

 

"Is it because you must marry Sophee or that your heart is given to another that is not Sophee?" 

 

The nobleman lowered his head, prompting the elder to let out another sigh. "And you see yourself as unworthy because that person is no lady. Did those words speak to your mind?" Seeing the sadness shrouding that visage, Luang Sanor could not help but offer a hand.

 

"l..."

 

"Have you ever read His Majesty's poem of Thao Saen-Pom?"

 

"Yes, sir."

"Then you will recall this verse:"

Oddly to see you appear so,

Warrior blood should let fearless flow.

Why resign to silent woes?

Is your valour tales and shows?

A gleaming gem enthrals thy soul;

Why won't you stretch forth and claim the goal?

Hands held back win nought but air;

Gems don't leap to those who just stare.

Lofty prizes lure the bold;

Climb, or leave the heights untold.

Not in stalls such wonders lie,

Nor in theft that shuns reply.

The blossom will drop to none.

Fragrance fades when day is done.

Watch the bees who dare to roam,

Sweet, their prize of jasmine home.

"Even though I have no wife, that doesn't mean I know no love. So, may I humbly say, I know your heart, Yai. Off you go. Saen must have been stiff from waiting so long."

 

"Then I may take my leave now, sir." The young man pressed his palms together in a respectful wai and bowed once more.

 

"Ah, Yai, Love knows no right or wrong. It's we who impose rules upon it, deciding what it should or should not be. Whether man or woman, once the heart has chosen, who could stand in its way?"

 

Saen glanced at Khun Phra Nai in astonishment. Just a few words from Luang Sanor had swept every trace of sorrow from the master's handsome face; only a mild confusion left its trace...yet considered little compared with before.

 

Luang Sanor watched that broad back retreat and breathed out a sigh. He knew his counsel was scarcely proper, yet since when had propriety participated in the matter of the heart? 

 

The glint in Khun Phra Nai's eyes had laid bare all his feelings for the willful Kaewta. The eyes may never fully veil the discreet desire, just as the heart cannot be commanded to cease its affections. Though improper it seemed, still he hoped the man would follow his heart just once, to taste its fullest joy... before the inevitable grief of an unchosen love arrived by and by.

 

On the other hand, his young ward's strange manner was even more endearing. Never had Kaewta behaved in such a manner. Regardless of the youth having flown into rages with his fellows sometimes, His Lordship had never seen those cheeks suffused with blush nor such a show of pique whenever Khun Phra Nai gazed upon him. On the contrary, he thought it was always his little rogue who sought the nobleman's quarrel first.

 

If Kaewta did not look at him, how could he know that the gentleman was looking his way...?

 

"What on earth are you doing?" Nanny Yam asked the strapping man who kept fiddling with everything in sight. There was also a small box already swaddled in cloth sitting by him.

 

"Getting a compress ready, Nanny."

"Who's hurting? Has Khun Yai gone and banged himself up again?"

 

"Not yet, but I'd best have one handy in case his Khun Yai chin swells anew."

"Saen, you wretch! How dare you wish harm upon Khun Yai like that!"

 

"Oi, I didn't wish harm upon him. I'm only making ready." That answer drew a menacing glare from the old Nanny.

 

"And what are you 'making ready' for?"

"I can't tell yet."

 

"Tsk! Do you dare have secrets from me?"

"Who would dare?"

 

"Then out with it," she ordered. Saen looked left and right, then bent to whisper,

 

"Khun Yai sets out to call his heart home."

"Hmm?"

 

"See? I told you, you won't understand."

 

"Bah! How do you know I wouldn't? But, isn't that his beloved, no lady?" she finished in a whisper of her own.

 

"Love knows no right or wrong, Nanny. It is people who impose rules upon it, deciding what it should or should not be. Whether man or woman, once the heart has chosen, who could stand in its way?" Saen recited the words of His Lordship verbatim. He puffed up with self-importance, earning another glare from Nanny Yam.

 

"Aye, aye..." sighed Nanny Yam, then she sighed even longer when casting a glance at the grand house, wondering how her master was going to find his way out of this matter.  Love as he might, he could still never take the youth to his wife. Whether that person was truly a lady or not, he still couldn't consort with him. 

 

SIGH.

 

"Are you not going inside, sir?" A voice whispered from behind. He stole a glance toward the house, where the lantern light flickered, before turning back to his master with quiet curiosity.

 

Receiving no answer from the man before him, Saen held his tongue, standing silent with the herbal compress hugged tight to himself. When they had left the main house, the young lord asked what he was carrying; Saen refused to say until the master gave it up, which was irksome.

 

He had assumed his young lord would storm into that little house and declare his longing to Lady Chui Chai no-Khun Kaew, that he missed Khun Kaew, but instead, his master hauled him to crouch behind the orange-jessamine by the fence. The pale form, aglow beneath the lamplight, appeared all the more captivating as he gently fed his mother while speaking in a sweet, lilting voice. 

 

Those crimson lips remained admirable even from afar, beckoning, inviting one to taste their softness, if only for the briefest moment. The raven-black hair cascaded down that back, still damp from a freshly bathed. The young man struggled to steady his breath at the thought that the scent of that small, delicate body must be sweeter than the night-blooming jasmine now wafting through the air... His chest blissfully swelled at the very thought.

 

Since leaving Luang Sanor's house, his mind kept pondering over His Lordship's words. The waning moon had waxed to full, and he had not seen Kaewta since. Sleepless, thin-eating, his heart was on the brink of bursting; he resolved to drag Saen out only to glimpse the person's face to bring solace to his heart again.

 

"Kaewta..." A gravelly voice called out gently. At the mere sight of that face, the burning in his chest gave way to a soothing calm until the figure within rose to guide his mother inside. Time wore on long enough for the young man to suspect the other might have fallen asleep. But soon enough, that familiar figure emerged once more, stepping out to settle upon the bamboo bench beneath the flowering Spanish cherry tree at the front of the house. The tall man unwittingly held his breath.

 

The waxing moon lit the sky so brightly that it bared everything that lay underneath, including his winsome Chui Chai's form, whose face was wincing. That white hand patted his own cheek without warning, causing the watcher to arch an eyebrow. Plump red lips moved in unheard mutters. Then, the youth lifted his face heavenward.

 

"I must be out of my mind.." That was the only line the man could read before the speaker was unmoved. Those narrow eyes fixed upon the lunar orb the same way that the watcher's eyes stayed fixed upon that flawless face.

 

...So long that the great moon had climbed past mid-sky did the motionless figure rise. He snuffed the lamp and vanished indoors. Khun Phra Nai gave a start as though his very heart had been drawn inside with the small one.

 

"Will you head home now, sir?" Saen asked, scratching his own limbs while the other hand was fanning mosquitoes from his master at the same time. However, the young lord could only rub the bites back and forth, dared not slap, for Lady Chui Chai would notice his presence. Once the other person returned inside, he smacked away with gusto.

 

"A little while longer." Only when not a glimmer shone from the house did the gentleman sigh, turn around, and leave. The moon was slipping off the rim of the sky, yet he still stood at his window. The earlier scene clung fast.

 

That charming face of the lovely one still circled his thoughts till he could not shut his eyes. Glancing at the orange jasmine bloom that was unconsciously plucked, he lifted it to his nose and breathed in.

Cold dew above the sky, be still,

Hold fast your silver drops, don't spill,

Sweet meranti, withhold your bloom,

I long to praise her in the gloom.

O moon that purge the dark with glow,

Slip not behind the clouds that flow,

Grant me her flawless face to see,

Before you sink past Mountain Lee.

O stars that jewel heaven's shine,

So countless in the vault divine,

Your gentle fires console the night,

While my lost heart drifts out of sight.

I long to seize each starry glow,

Yet know my hand is far too low,

I watch their bright lights blaze on high,

A humble soul that cannot fly.

"A gleaming gem enthrals thy soul; Why won't you stretch forth and claim the goal? Hands held back win nought but air; Gems don't leap to those who stare." 

 

The baritone voice recited the poem that Luang Sanor said to him and exhaled deeply. He lifted the orange jasmine to his left chest and made his final decision.

.....Once love is chosen, then let it be all-consuming…

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

"Arjan Kitti?"

 

"Yes. He said he had business with you, My Lady," reported the maid. Sophee, who had been reading in the garden, lifted her gaze and promptly made her way to the waiting room. The fidgeting, looking left and right, caused Sophee to frown. She glanced at the item next to him, wrapped tightly in white cloth. Her heart skipped a beat.

 

"I dropped by your university last week but couldn't find you." She opened the conversation.

 

The visitor flinched visibly at the unexpected approach from the house owner. His panic-stricken demeanour almost amused her as it was so unlike the composed professor she remembered, who was always neatly dressed and calm.

 

"I came to see you," Kitti said, stealing glances outside as though afraid someone might have followed him.

 

"What business do you have with me?" Sophee asked, though her eyes remained locked on the object beside him.

 

"The drawing you wanted."

 

"Truly?" Sophee asked in the thrill that she almost lunged to unwrap it right then and there, yet still forced herself to hold back.

 

"I wouldn't lie to you," Kitti said as he untied the knot in the cloth, revealing a portrait of a handsome face and a person's doleful eyes.

 

"Khun Phi," The lady murmured in her throat. Her heart raced fast. The feelings were overwhelming until her eyes misted with tears. She shifted to sit beside Kitti and reached out to caress the drawing so tenderly.

 

"I'm selling it to you," Kitti said.

 

"Excuse me? But you said it belonged to one of your students." Sophee asked.

 

"I need the money."

 

"How much?" Sophee ceased to ask Kitti for further reasons. To have possession of this portrait was all that mattered now.

 

"Thirty thousand baht."

"I beg your pardon?!"

 

"That's the price." Kitti stood firm on his bargain, as there was an opportunity for him to squeeze every penny he could and also seek revenge for what had made him run for his life like this.

 

"Fine. I'll pay you, and I'll add another two thousand, too." Sophee accepted without a second thought.

 

Whatever the cost, she was willing to pay to have this drawing of the face that she had dreamed of for as long as she could remember, someone she only knew she loved, without ever knowing exactly why. All that mattered was that he belonged to her. Not somebody else!

 

Kitti was overjoyed. He counted the money eagerly, peeked over the fence, and then started counting it all over again.

 

"Arjan Kitti, may I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

 

"Who's the owner of this drawing? Who drew it?"

 

"Him," Kitti hesitated a moment. But when he saw the serious glint in the eyes of the lady before him, he finally answered, "Kaew. Kaewta. It's his drawing. He was the one who drew it."

 

Sophee's shocked expression made Kitti raise an eyebrow, but he couldn't care less. All he cared about right now was to run away from that wretched ghost!

 

He had stolen Kaewta's art and bolted out of that room, wishing that once the term resumed, he would use this drawing as a threat to keep the boy from telling anyone about what he had done. He brought the drawing home, thinking it would help him to resolve his problems. And if Kaewta ever started to forget, he'd plot a new scheme for that boy to belong to him as he had desired!

 

Kitti finished bathing and was ready to retire for the night. He glanced at the painting draped in white cloth before climbing into bed, but all of a sudden, a violent gust of wind howled through the room like a storm. Everything was flung into disarray.

 

Only that painting remained exactly where it had been, untouched. He glanced around and was certain he'd shut every door and window; how could this violent wind have gotten in? Alarmed, he staggered back when a towering, pitch-black shadow slowly strode toward him.

 

The chill cut through to the bone. Not a single sound reached his ears as if there was nothing else in the same room as him. He couldn't move, as if both legs were pinned in place, as that lofty figure was creeping closer. Those blood-red eyes glared at him with venomous hate. A blackened hand advanced and seized his neck. Kitti's eyes bulged with dread to the very core of his being.

 

"How dare you! You vicious, wretched!" It was the voice that he could remember so well-the one he had heard in the afternoon from Kaewta's lips. It had followed him home!

 

"N-No... ghhk-!" Kitti tried to beg for mercy through his strangled neck with just one hand possessed of a grip like a steel vice that, no matter how hard he tried to let loose, refused to budge. Kitti tried to claw and kick at the figure in front of him, but he struck nothing but air. Even though he saw the body was there right before him, why couldn't he land a blow?

 

A wicked grin curled, followed by the cold, piercing laughter under the mouth that stretched wider ...and wider, so unnaturally, until it gaped beyond the human limit, revealing darkness like the bottomless void within. The terror drove the man to thrash wildly, but the more he struggled, the harder that hand clamped down. 

 

His breath grew shallower. The sly eyes that once leered rudely at Kaewta were now bulging grotesquely, that face darkening to a purplish hue from suffocation.

 

"You dared to lay your filthy hands on Khun Kaew. Your vile mouth touched his cheek. You deserve nothing less than death!"

 

"Argh!" His strangled cry echoed through the room as his vision dimmed.

"Mark my words. If you are still present at the university again, I shall find you and snap your neck. And if you ever lay a finger on Khun Kaewta, I will make an end of you!"

 

"Ugh...Urgh!" Kitti's body fell onto the floor the moment that hand released his throat. Kitti let out a choking cough, clawing for breath for dear life and shaking him whole. The cold still pierced every pore. Those red, unblinking eyes bore down on him now, leaning so close he could see every vein in those eyes. The freezing air tightened around him once more as if trying to pull back the breath he'd just reclaimed.

 

"And if you are still here...I shall return to take your life as well."

 

Run. He had to run!

 

Kitti put his house up for sale and hid himself in different daily-rental homes. He changed his location every day, fearing that the ghost would come after him. Before fleeing with only his clothes stuffed in a bag, he didn't forget to snatch up Kaewta's artwork, hoping he could turn it into cash for future use. 

 

That's when Sophee came to mind, the woman who'd shown an unexpected fascination with the picture of the boy. He could see the covetous gleam in her eyes. So, he sold it to her, hoping the lump sum would be enough to get him out of the country. Away from that ghost. The thing that came for his life!

 

"Kaew. Kaewta. It's his drawing. He was the one who drew it."

 

Sophee sat frozen. She remained in the same seat even after Kitti had left, her alluring eyes fixed on the painting. The lines were strikingly vivid, the lifelike image indeed. But it was the artist who left her stunned before it shifted into a fierce discontent laced with envy, resentment, and possessiveness. With no apparent reason, she didn't want this name to have any relevance to the man in her dream!

 

Sophee began dreaming of a man called Khun Yai when she first became pubescent. She had thought it was just a delusion. However, as time went by, her dream only grew clearer. She knew for certain he was real. And she had to find him. Slowly, she began to fall in love with the man in her dreams. In those dreams, Khun Yai always spoke the name of someone else with his rich, mellow, and abundantly affectionate voice. His chuckle was soft with fondness. Sophee longed to possess those things. But he always gave them to the other person.

In her sleep, she begged the man to smile at her, to call her name, and he just did it to her in a flat, emotionless tone, never smiling so tenderly, never with the loving warmth that she craved. She both envied and begrudged the one called Kaewta, who received all those!

 

The first time she laid eyes on this artwork, she couldn't be more sure that it was the portrait of the man she dreamed about every single night. She wanted to meet the artist, to ask who the man in this drawing was and where he lived. Once she knew, she would find him, ask him to call her name, to smile at her, to love her as she loved him. But Kitti's answer made her angry. She was afraid... afraid that the man would love Kaewta, the artist of this picture, just as he had in the dream. And that was what Sophee could not stand.

 

Kaewta, there will never be a name to make her man fall in love again!