Interminable

The breeze gently blew. The orange sun descended toward the horizon, glistening on the small ripples. However, it couldn't distract the person who sat by the river. The pencil kept making a constant scratching sound, and the black graphite turned into a sketch. It was unmistakably a man's silhouette at just one glimpse, even though the details were still hazy. That smooth hand kept moving, revealing how preoccupied its owner was so that he couldn't hear the footsteps behind him. The small shoulders slightly jerked when a voice chimed in.

 

"Excuse me, master."

 

The tip of the pencil drew back from the paper. He looked over his shoulder and found a striking-featured, imposing man smiling at him. Withdrawing from serenity, he stood up and gave the man a full stare.

 

"Do you know this mano-I mean, house?" A small piece of paper was handed to him. The boy's gaze fell to read the message for a short while before nodding in affirmation.

 

"Do you have any business with that house?" The velvety, sweet voice asked. Those inky eyes stared at the person, untrusting.

 

"I have some errand with the dweller, Master." The man gave an evasive answer while smiling gently at the other person.

 

"I'll escort you there."

 

"It's not my desire to disturb you, Master. Please carry on with your drawing." That polite denial and the courtesy manner caused the fair-skinned boy to tilt his head.

 

"Dense trees surround the house. A snake would definitely bite you dead before you could even see the house's owner, so please let me walk you there." Not only did he say it, but the boy spun around, gathering his drawing tools, refusing to hear any more refusal. The one who was supposed to be escorted shook his head and smiled faintly, but he waited for the boy to finish gathering his equipment, then grabbed the tripod and held it himself. The light-skinned face flitted up to look.

 

"Then, let me help you, Master. Let this be how I humbly repay your kindness to take me there."

 

That light-skinned face nodded in approval and took the lead. The man's sharp eyes traced the small back ahead; those upright shoulders exuded dignity, and the skin was smooth, which was a stark contrast to the one behind his back, who was so swarthy-almost as if burnt honey. The boy's visage was immaculate and arresting; every contour and feature of the face was harmoniously blended. In a fleeting glance, one might see a borderline between femininity and masculinity.

 

Before them stood an old, weathered wooden house; the front yard was thick with trees, as the boy had described. The follower raised an eyebrow, contemplating as he bent down and peered through; all he could see was nothing but greenery.

 

"Mother! Mother!" shouted the boy at the front, causing the man behind to question.

 

"Oh? Are you the dweller here yourself?" The low-pitched voice asked.

"This is my own house."

 

"Yes? Kaew... Eh, who is that?" The middle-aged woman wiped her hands with a small towel and made her way from the back of the house. The young one bent over to hug her and planted a kiss on the cheek that was damp with sweat.

 

"He asked for our house," replied the boy with hands still looped around his mother's narrow waist.

 

"What's the matter, young man?" She peered upward, asking the tall guest. The other one cast a gentle smile in return. 

 

"Come on in and have some water, if you please." Once she finished, she led the man in while grabbing her son's wrist to go inside. The boy took a mistrustful glance at the other person; that manner of speaking inexplicably jarred the ear. 

 

Master-who? As if there is any elitist nearby. But since his mother had asked him to fetch a bowl of water for the guest, the boy had no choice but to fetch one.

 

"Thank you, Master." The man took the fresh rainwater bowl to sip.

 

"May I ask your name? What are you here for? What's the purpose of your visit?" 

 

Those gleaming eyes that stared straight and the volley of questions drew a laugh to slip past his control. He chuckled lightly before pulling a piece of paper from the briefcase. That paper was sombre and rather yellow, indicating its age.

"My name is Saen. And this..." The man passed that paper to the elderly dame.

 

"What is it?"

"It's a title deed, Madam." She cast a look at her son before resuming her gaze at the person before her and handing it back. 

 

"Why did you give it to me, though?"

"I'm here to return it to you."

 

"Return it to me? I don't own any land. You must have been mistaken."

 

"If your name is Chan Pen, then I'm afraid that I'm not."

 

"People named Chan Pen are ubiquitous. I'm sure you've mistaken my mother for someone else."

 

"No, sir. I can't be mistaken or confused with someone else, especially when you are Khun Kaewta." The stare that pierced through the boy was so resolute that it left him stupefied.

 

"What exactly do you want from us?" The then-amiable tone of voice now became more hardened. Yet, the tall figure flashed a tranquil smirk, unruffled by both mother and son's misunderstanding.

 

"No...hmm, if I say I don't want it, I must be lying." Dark eyes that bored into the boy made his mother extend her hand and clasp his.

 

"I need Madam and Khun Kaew to have this document and let Khun Kaew be the sole proprietor. That's all for me."

 

"We don't have any house or land, let alone relatives, to speak of. Therefore, this document couldn't be ours."

 

"No, Master. This is yours." The man objected. His smile snapped off his face as he tried to reject the document that Kaew was pushing back.

 

"I've been searching for you for a very long time, Khun Kaew."

 

"Hmm?"

 

"A very long time, as if an eternity." The deep voice trembled with an emotion akin to poignancy. The pitch-black eyes, now murky, tugged at the onlooker's heartstrings.

 

"Please take it. I believe it will rekindle your memory one day."

Then, a cool breath of wind swept past, sending the bristles on his arm to rise and fall under the quick return of the smouldering heat. Chan Pen swivelled to the door and windows only to find the leaves outside didn't budge even the slightest. Turning back, she discovered that worn-out, yellowish paper was already in her son's hand.

 

"Kaew?" Chan Pen's wrinkled hand seized her son's white hand.

 

"Thank you, Master."

 

....As if time stood still.

The very next thing they knew, a man who called himself Saen disappeared from where he was.

 

"Uh!" Kaewta rose to his feet in the hope of returning that paper. The boy's eyebrows scrunched together once he found the front entrance of his house was empty. He rushed out to the narrow path, which was just a small alley. However, only the emptiness in sight, not even a single trace of the man just now.

 

"He vanished so quickly." The sweet yet raspy voice mumbled. Even after sweeping around, he still didn't know where the man hid, since it was just a paved path leading to the house, unless the other person could become invisible by magic.

 

"Could you find him?" asked Chan Pen once she saw her son return.

 

"No."

 

"Then how can we give this paper back to him?"

 

"I don't know either." Kaewta let out a sigh, shifting his gaze down to the document in his hand and pondering the man's words;

 

"A very long time, as if an eternity...?

 

The boy couldn't recall ever knowing that person. He had friends who could be counted on one hand. What's more, that graceful, courteous manner; if they had met, Kaewta would never forget the man.

 

It was searing. The sun was blazing aflame; it hurt. Water. The torment of thirst. The agony of a slit wrist. Cracked lips and a throat as barren as scorched ground. His frail wrists fought against the shackles, but the more he struggled, the more it felt like his flesh was ripping apart. The thick, abrasive rope scraped his skin, causing blood to seep out. His once-flawless face was now blackened and burnt as it turned upward to the sky, shadows of twigs falling over him in despair.

 

"Help." The hoarse, feeble voice was only resonant in the throat, and then nothing else was uttered anymore. All the youth could do was scream within himself out of terror.

 

Help. Somebody help me. It's suffering. He was totally clueless as to why he was confined here or whether he had ever caused anyone to abhor him. The dread now took all of him.

 

Time ebbed and flew to the new dawn. After being attacked from the rear last night, no one could find or release him. The greenery from the bower of trees that he was once fond of was now something unbearable. The boy howled, praying for someone to find and rescue him. Anybody... Please save me....

 

Khun Phra Nai, Khun Yai, please save Kaew!

 

JOLT! The thin eyelids burst open amidst the darkness. The boy could feel the dread, and the fervid thirst still surged within him. As he ran his small pair of hands to grab his own shoulders tightly, the tears still streaming down from both eyes, and his heart still beating so frantically that his chest hurt. Kaewta jerked upright on the bed and lifted his hand to wipe off the sweat at his temple. He tugged up the mosquito net hem and glanced at another net next to his. Seeing his mother still breathing rhythmically, the boy let out a sigh of relief. He was just dreaming.

 

Getting out of bed, Kaewta took off his sweaty shirt, changed into a thin one, and headed to the kitchen. He opened the earthen tank to drink the rainwater so hurriedly that it spilt and wet his chin, soaking the shirt he had changed just now. Even so, it wasn't enough to quell his blistering heat and thirst. A small metal bowl was used once more to fetch water. But this time, when the bright-hued lips touched the bowl rim, he froze. The white hand put the bowl down before holding himself tightly. Even though it was just a dream, the dread persisted despite being fully awake.

 

"Oh, Kaew, you're awake? I saw the mosquito net wasn't yet rolled up, so I thought you were asleep." Chan Pen's voice greeted her son. Kaewta smiled in response.

 

"I'll go rolling it up now," replied the boy.

 

"Are you having a class this morning?" Chan Pen continued to ask while building a fire for cooking.

 

"In the late morning, Mother. Is there anything?"

 

"Today is a Buddhist holy day, so I'm inviting you to offer food to the monk."

 

"Good. Because last night I had a nightmare, too."

 

"Hmm? What was your nightmare about?" Chan Pen stopped her busy hands, swivelling to ask her son in concern.

 

"I couldn't quite remember it. All I know is it was suffering and thirsty..."

 

"After offering food to the monk, you can make a libation and ask for the Venerable to bless you, all right?"

 

"Yes, Mother."

 

The small figure in a university uniform with books in his hand planted a kiss on his mother's left and right cheeks. After offering food to the monk, he then left. Kaewta's faculty was Fine Arts, so apart from books, a drawing board was his constant companion wherever he went.

 

"Kaew, you're here early."

 

"Ruedee, you're late today." With a smile, the boy responded. The greeter was a tall, lean girl with an unblemished complexion. Her small, tapering eyes hinted at her nearly pure Chinese lineage, yet she could speak Thai perfectly.

 

"I overslept. Pa and Ma didn't wait for me, so I needed to hail a motorcab myself. Say, which class do we start with? "The girl asked about their period schedule.

 

"It's Arjan Kitti's class."

 

"Waa, poor me! I haven't finished his homework." With a pale face, Ruedee nervously opened the big black satchel beside her, pulling out a sheet of paper containing only the teacher's project sketch draft.

 

"Neither do I," said Kaewta.

 

"Really? Thank heaven. I'm not the only one."

 

The boy's thin smile surfaced. He had wanted to finish the drawing ever since the day his teacher assigned it, but he couldn't. It wasn't because he was lazy or short on time-he had plenty- but he just couldn't. Portrait: Kaewta could not bring himself to render portraits. Whenever he picked up a pencil, the mental draft in his mind would inexplicably evaporate for no apparent reason. Despite his efforts to find someone to be his model, the pencil could only scrawl an indistinct silhouette, never shaping into a clear form.

 

Some corner of the mind told Kaewta that he didn't need any other model because there was only one and only person he longed to draw. Someone whom he couldn't yet envision. Once his eyelids closed, only that person's smile lit up.

 

Kaewta couldn't share with anybody who the vision belonged to, or whether that person was even real. A strange compulsion always made him pick up his pencil and set it against the paper. Yet, the moment he began to draw, something stopped him, making him unable to summon that person in his mind.

 

"Kaew, why don't we go to the forest at the back of the faculty? A nice environment may help you to be able to draw." The boy took the invitation with a smile. After Arjan Kitti called him in, Kaewta's head hung low to avoid his teacher's disappointed look. 

 

"I thought you would've even given me your assignment since the first week.' he then left the room with Ruedee, hand in hand, disheartened.

 

"What is it?" asked Ruedee once she saw her friend's feet freeze midstride.

 

"Ruedee, can we draw our picture elsewhere?" With voice shaking, Kaewta questioned back. Those hands gripped the drawing board tremulously.

 

"Why not? We usually go there to draw, don't we? Are you feeling unwell or something? Your face is deathly pale."

 

".." 

The narrow eyes gazed upward at those tree shades in terror. Ruedee returned to him and touched his cold and clammy forehead.

 

"What's the matter?"

 

"Ruedee, let's get out of here." Kaewta clutched his friend's wrist and swiftly whisked Ruedee away from the scene. The girl winced at the sharp grip on her wrist, wanting to protest, but Kaewta's fearful demeanour held her tongue. Thus, she wordlessly allowed herself to be dragged along.

 

The verdant canopy, the sunlight streamed through the foliage, and the searing pain. Kaewta's close-set shoulders quivered as he stood motionless by the lotus pond with his hand gripping his friend's tightly. The woods behind his faculty were a sight he didn't dare to face. He couldn't fathom why the sight of this place filled him with such fear just from their resemblance to his dream.

 

"Kaew?"

 

"I'm sorry." Kaewta let go of his friend's wrist while apologising for hurting her.

 

"What's the matter with you? You seemed afraid of something."

 

"... don't know. I'm just afraid of that forest."

 

"But we had been there many times, hadn't we? It's not our first visit."

 

"I don't know, really, but please don't take me there again."

 

The girl's mouth hung agape, wanting to argue her wee friend's irrational remark. However, Kaewta's shaking shoulders took the words right out of her mouth as she glanced back at the faculty's woods once more. From their first year until now, Kaewta and his friend had been to almost every corner of the faculty, including this forest, but it seemed his friend was so terrified of something that she couldn't grasp what it was.

 

"Do you have anything to share with me?" asked Ruedee.

 

"No." The boy shook his head. What could he tell her when he was in the dark, just like her?

 

"Are you sure?" The girl forced the answer.

 

"Even I myself don't know why I am afraid of that place."

 

"Hm?" Ruedee knitted her brows, puzzled as she watched her friend's face lose its colour.

 

Kaewta cast his gaze out at the gentle ripples spreading across the lotus pond. As he left the place, his breath gradually eased, though his heart remained heavy, shadowed by a sorrow he couldn't name.

 

"Kaew, it's late now. Have homework?" Chan Pen held the lantern aloft.

 

"You can go to bed first. I want to work on my drawing a little longer."

 

"Umm. Don't forget to dowse the lantern then." The boy gave a small nod of acknowledgement as the storm lanterns were lit up and hung around the four corners to illuminate him. His hand poised the pencil's tip over a sheet of paper with a faint outline, and then it just froze. Perplexedly, Kaewta closed his eyes, picturing that face from his memory. The pencil's intermittent scratching continued until it finally stilled.

 

Kaewta stared at the picture he had sketched, frustrated by the outcome. He could only capture the lower half of the face with a faint smile tugging those lips; that was the only detail he could recall.

 

Resigned, the boy put down the drawing tool. He doused all the lanterns surrounding him, just one to lead the way to his bedroom.

 

It burnt,

It hurt,

Help,

Khun Phra Nai, help me!

 

JOLT! His breath came in short gasps, just like what he felt the other night, rousing the boy to sit upright. With his back sweaty, his eyes wandered around. And as his sight became clearer, he let out a sigh; that nightmare haunted him again.

 

"What's the matter, Kaew?" asked Chan Pen, hearing the exhalation from her son on another mattress. The mother lit up the lantern, lifted her son's mosquito net, and stared at that paling face in worry. 

 

"What's wrong? Are you feeling sick?" The rough hand from working hard gently touched Kaewta's forehead.

 

"I just had a nightmare. I'm all right."

"Are you sure?"

 

"Yes." The boy reassured. He didn't want his mother to lie awake just like him. Seeing Chan Pen nod, he fell back to his mattress once again. The mother curled her lips into a smile and planted a kiss on that smooth forehead.

 

"Then good night, son."

 

Soothed by the mother's blessing, Kaewta could finally rest in a peaceful slumber through the night, free from dreams of the canopy of trees, the fiery pain, and the torment of thirst.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

"Is there any problem you want to share?" 

 

The boy sat with his face fallen; the elder man's sigh made his heart sink even lower. Despite a month of relentless effort, his assignment remained unfinished, even though, at the beginning, he still had Ruedee, who shared the same plight.

 

"..." 

 

Arjan Kitti's large hand placed on his thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze, almost as if to encourage. However, Kaewta tried to nudge away from that hand. Though they both were men, Keawta was never comfortable with Arjan Kitti's eyes lying on him.

 

"Er, Arjan Kitti, sorry for interrupting." Like a sound from heaven, Ruedee poked her face out from the back. The boy looked at her with a big grin in delight.

 

"What is it?" The professor gnarled a reply as if dissatisfied after being interrupted. That big hand jerkily pulled away from the boy's upper leg with a faint reflection of resentment in those eyes.

"This scatterbrain has a ballroom dance rehearsal with me." Not even waiting for permission, the girl seized her wee classmate's wrist and hurriedly hauled him from the scene.

 

"Thank you, Ruedee."

 

"What did I tell you, hmm? If you want to see Arjan Kitti, you need to wait for me. He strangely ran his eyes over you so many times, don't you know?" The girl faced him with her arms akimbo.

 

"There were many other professors at first," Kaewta made a weak excuse.

 

"All right, all right. Now, let's go to the dance practice with me first." Ruedee waved her hand as if signalling her refusal to hear.

 

"Dance practice?"

 

"Do you think I lied to the professor? You're so unbelievable. I'll be arranging the homecoming party at the end of next month for my brother, who's returning from abroad, and Pa wants you to come."

 

"Oh." Kaewta drawled an acknowledgement and meekly led his friend to her house by the wrist.

 

For a fleeting while, Ruedee persuaded her friend to set aside his unfinished sketch, promising to help him persevere. However, just shy of two hours, the girl nearly begged Kaewta to return to his artistic obsession as her poor, battered feet were bruised from endless stomps by her own dainty friend.

 

"Ouch!"

 

"I'm sorry." Letting Ruedee's waist, Kaewta lowered himself to pat his friend's feet in remorse.

 

"You're really something else, Kaew. I think you're not in the least of being a good dancer, no matter how outstanding an artist you are," grumbled Ruedee.

 

"How does ballroom dancing relate to being an artist? I've never tried ballroom dancing, even once! It's you, Ruedee; instead of teaching me a few days beforehand, you shoved me onto the floor from the very first day. Isn't it you who's at fault? How could you shift the blame to me when I stepped on your feet?" The boy burst out laughing before a noise interrupted. The slender figure erupted from the seat so quickly that Ruedee was startled.

 

"What's the matter?"

"Shh!"

 

"Hm?" He perked up his ears and turned in the vague direction of the music. Ruedee watched her friend, puzzled, as she quietly followed him.

 

Two orbs of onyx, deep, darkest of shade, Before he knew it, Keawta stood motionless right in front of that door, and for reasons unknown, the tune was oddly familiar, though he couldn't quite place where it had been heard. The small hand rested over his own chest. It felt as though a strange heaviness had settled within, making it hard to breathe. Her coy glance leaves hearts dismayed.

 

The vision of a woman in a Thai dance costume, moving her feet and gracefully lifting her arms, and the elation radiating from her smile prompted him to push the door open.

 

"Ah, Khun Ruedee and friend." The girl in the room turned around to look. Upon seeing that it was the youngest lady of the manor house, they greeted the two with smiles. One of them turned off the radio, and the music ceased.

 

"What's the name of that song?" The sweet voice slurred once he inquired.

 

"Chui Chai, sir. This song's called Chui Chai. I'm practising it for the school ceremony next week." Smiling, she answered. 

 

Moo Dang was one of the servants' daughters in her vast house, and her Pa supported her education.

 

"What is it, Kaew?" Ruedee questioned when she noticed the boy grow silent and behave oddly.

 

"Nothing. I'm just thinking this song is beautiful."

 

"You mean the Chui Chai song?" The girl quirked her eyebrow, staring at her friend's colourless face, baffled.

 

"Hmm, in fact, you should rather do the Chui Chai dance instead of the ballroom dance." Kaewta regained his composure and quipped back to his friend, causing Ruedee to give him a light tap on his shoulder.

 

"It must be you who does the Chui Chai dance!"

 

"GIGGLE, let me show you, all right?" The boy laughed cheerfully at Ruedee's demeanour. Seeing this, Moo Dang switched the radio back on to join her young lady in teasing Kaewta. To her surprise, the girl's eyes went wide as she praised aloud.

 

"How breathtakingly you can dance!"

 

O Lovely Sprite!

Thy youthful bloom,

 

The svelte frame arched with supple grace. The boy lifted his arms against his chest, sprang his foot, and his arms flowed in a soft, seamless motion. Though the sound and rhythm were a far cry from the ballroom songs that Ruedee had forced him to dance to, Kaewta could breeze through it effortlessly. It was almost as if his limbs could move on their own.

 

Thy maiden sweet protuse,

Thy innocence does all gloom consume.

 

The boy's deep-hued lips curved into a serene smile as he sat onto his heels, his fair arms still lifting and flowing with exquisite beauty, as though this were not his first time performing such a dance...

 

"How are you capable of this dancing?" Ruedee's question came in a soft hush.

 

"Because he likes it." A dulcet, raspy voice responded abruptly yet indistinctly. It was barely audible as if he were murmuring solely to himself. But Ruedee, waiting for clarity, frowned in confusion. She was certain of how close she and her friend were, so it was impossible that she wouldn't know if Kaewta had learned such a Thai dance.

 

"Who likes it?"

 

"Hmm, what? 'Who likes it?'' The boy turned around to look at his friend, his dark eyebrows raised, and those clear orbs reflected his genuineness, as if Kaewta were unaware of what he had just said.

 

"You said,

'Because he likes it.'"

 

"Who likes it? I haven't said anything. Did you just mishear it?" Kaewta beamed at his friend.

 

"But..."

 

"The ballroom dancing just now must've made your head spin."

 

Ruedee was in doubt, but Kaewta's innocent demeanour left no room for argument, so she kept her silence at last, trailing after her friend out of the little house.

 

"You can actually do the Chui Chai dance?"

"I don't think so." Kaewta shook his head.

 

"But just a while ago, you..."

 

"Hmm, I might have seen someone do it before, and I imitated them, I suppose. I have a photographic memory; you knew it. I can remember anything after seeing it once."

 

"All right, all right. So, I guess you can do ballroom dance now."

 

"Yes, My Lady." The laughter of the two best friends faded away in the direction of the manor house, leaving Moo Dang to turn off the radio with a change of complexion. She had admired Khun Ruedee's friend for being able to dance so splendidly at first, but their conversation both caused her to be dumbfounded. If Khun Ruedee had taken a glimpse back at her, just a little, she would have realised that the girl also heard the garbled word from Khun Kaew saying, 'Because he likes it,' too.

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

"Today, you look so cute, Kaew." Ruedee complimented her friend, who blushed.

 

"Do you really need to say cute? If you said handsome, it would've pleased me more." 

 

The boy gave a lighthearted reprimand. Ruedee dressed him up in a light blue outfit that made his bright skin even brighter. The complemented one was so shy that his chin was almost attached to his chest.

 

"Phi Chai," Ruedee called her elder brother, the host, who walked up to them with Pa and Ma. 

 

Kaewta clasped his hands in a polite greeting, needing no cues from his friend. Ruedee introduced her best friend as a fellow student from her faculty. While Pa and Ma were already well acquainted with him, the tall stranger, meeting Kaewta for the first time, couldn't tear his gaze from his impeccable face, prompting Ruedee to tease him multiple times.

 

"Is there anything wrong with me, Phi Chai?" Kaewta asked the man who still cast him a stare even when Ruedee had left to dance with her Pa. Ruedee's brother, on the other hand, rejected the other girl's invitation to dance with him, and Kaewta couldn't help but feel timid.

 

"Why? Do you find me repulsive, Kaewta?"

 

"I find it might not be appropriate for the host to linger here for too long, I guess. Shouldn't you dance with all those girls?"

 

"But I'd prefer to dance with you."

 

"Hmm?" The boy gazed up in confusion, but all he received was just the man's beautiful smile.

 

*I'm joking. But how could I leave you standing all by yourself?"

 

"I'm fine, Phi Chai. You can leave."

 

"Are you sure?" Chai raised his eyebrows, asking.

 

"Yes."

 

"Hey, come dance with me." The source of Ruedee's endless energy was mysterious. 

After finishing a dance with her Pa, she darted over to grab him in the middle of the floor again. The upbeat melody softened into a slower tune, giving them a chance to breathe. Ruedee's compliment on his newfound talent for dancing made Kaewta laugh and fluster.

 

"You do know how to dance." His words faltered when his eyes caught someone in the corner of the room.

 

"Huh?"

 

As if time stood still, the smile he saw only in his dreams. It had been nearly a month since the boy had last dreamed of that smile. But today, it was right before his eyes and slowly further away. The full, boldly coloured lips and a faint, bittersweet smile tugged at his heartstrings.

 

There was a tall, lean figure in an all-white suit with well-defined features; Kaewta's eyes wandered from his lips before he could finally meet the person's gaze, but before he could scrutinise that entire face, the man spun around and walked away in swift strides.

 

"Don't go!"

"Kaew!"

 

The dainty figure gave chase without a second thought. He was deaf to Ruedee's cries, blind to the fear in Chai's gaze, and completely unaware of the questions from his classmate's parents. The only thing he knew was to run, to reach that person at all costs.

 

Kaewta's heart thudded violently. He didn't know why this surge of emotions crashed over him with such force and refused to be contained. He couldn't define what it was. All he knew was that he longed to see that person,...So badly it hurt, in a way that he felt so suffocated that tears threatened to spill.

 

The richly-coloured lips quivered wildly as his eyes brimmed with heat. Looking around, all that he could find was a hollow emptiness that left him grappling with an unnamed emotion. He wanted to cry. The owner of the tall, slim frame and rueful smile in his sleep now faded into the surrounding darkness.

 

"Why don't you return?" The sound of a deep, gravelly voice from behind pulled the wee man's attention to turn around. His narrow eyes widened; he never expected to see Saen here.

"Return?"

 

"Why are you so cruel, Khun Kaew?" The voice spoke in tones of reproach, and the sorrow came through without disguise.

 

"What am I so cruel about?" The boy couldn't fathom what Saen was accusing him of.

 

"When are you expecting to return, Master?" The same question was asked once more. Kaewta arched a brow at the brown envelope in the taller man's hand. It was the land deed envelope that Saen had handed over earlier. Hadn't his mother returned it already? The boy stared, puzzled.

 

Saen slowly walked toward the other one before pouring that envelope out, letting something fall into his palm: A small carved ring.

 

"This is yours, Master."

 

"No..." Kaewta was meant to refuse. Still, Saen placed it into his hand.

 

"Please, sir. Don't make Khun Phra Nai-" Saen! As if a deep-toned shout had made the lofty man halt, his rugged face turned upward to the inky sky as he clenched his fist tightly. Then, his eyes fell on Kaewta's, who looked back at him in bafflement before he turned his back and strode away.

 

"Wait!" cried the boy; he had something to ask and some doubts to be resolved.

 

"Kaew!" Ruedee's hand gripped his shoulder, forcing him to turn around. The panicked expressions on his classmates and her brother's faces jolted his memory of rushing out and abandoning the dance midstream.

 

"What happened? I saw you dash out and didn't look right." Chai's voice was laced with worry. Kaewta turned back to glance at the spot where Saen had once stood, which was now nothing but vast emptiness. 

 

Clenching the small ring in his hand, the boy tucked it into his pocket, having no wish to give Ruedee any answer just yet.

 

"Who are you looking for?"

 

"Ruedee, is there a tall guest in an all-white suit today?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.

 

"There is only me in an all-white suit at this ball." Chai answered it himself, "Why, Kaewta?"

 

"No, nothing. We should go back inside." Kaewta pushed his friend back into the party. Once again, the boy took a glimpse at where Saen had been. But just a while later, he excused himself to leave, declining anyone's offer to escort him. 

 

Tonight, the full moon brightened up the sky, leaving it less shrouded in darkness. A light wind stirred, fanning Kaewta's obsidian locks to blow behind him. On the walk home, he pulled out the ring and looked at it once more. The feelings of longing and yearning seeped in, and before he knew it, tears were rolling down his cheeks.

 

"Who are you exactly? Why does not being able to see you distress me so deeply?"

 

As if that question had been solved. The chilly breeze melted into a warm one, wrapping Kaewta tenderly like a loving embrace.

 

Please return soon. The apple of my eye,

My Kaewta. 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

The same old brown envelope still rested in its former place. The boy picked it up; he knew all too well that it was the very same one he had seen in Saen's hand yesterday, not to mention the small golden ring nestled in his palm.

 

Kaeta remembered that on the very first day this envelope was handed to him, all they found when he and his mother opened it was the title deed. Or had Saen slipped something else in later?

 

"Mom."

 

"Yes?" Chan Pen withdrew her hand from the dessert pot and turned to face her son.

 

"Yesterday, did that man, I mean Saen, come to collect this document?"

 

"I don't think so. I haven't seen him since that day. Is there anything you need from him?"

 

"No. I'll get dressed to go to university now."

 

"Please do. It won't be good if you're there late." Chan Pen smiled gently, but her sweat-drenched face was so pale that her child approached her out of concern.

 

"Are you feeling unwell?"

 

"It's nothing, my dear. I'm just a little tired."

 

"If that's the case, I'll drop you off at the market after I'm done getting dressed." 

 

The boy grinned widely and hurried into the house, but the sound of a sudden commotion outside brought him rushing back. His heart nearly stopped at the sight-his mother was sprawled on the ground.

 

"I was worried, thinking of why you didn't attend the class. How's your mother, though?" Ruedee asked her small-framed friend, who sat pale and anxious on the balcony of the patients' quarters.

 

"Hmm, the doctor said Mom's got high blood pressure and possibly some other conditions. I asked the doctor to give her a more thorough health checkup to be sure."

 

"Good. And here's your homework today." The girl handed a notebook to her classmate.

 

"Thank you, Ruedee." Kaewta managed a tired smile, though his slender eyebrows were still drawn in a frown.

 

"Is there anything else you want me to help with?"

 

"No." He declined. But even so, Ruedee had no trouble guessing what was bothering her little friend. Unless Kaewta voiced it himself, she couldn't offer her aid. She knew all too well that Kaewta avoided burdening anyone unnecessarily-not even her, a close friend—a medical fee.

 

Kaewta let out a sigh, wondering if his savings would be enough to cover this expense. This semester's tuition may have to be postponed. He checked on his mother's condition again before returning home to prepare dessert for tomorrow's sales in her place. At least he could scrape together as much money as possible in the meantime.

 

"Kaew, you look tired," Ruedee said, concerned.

 

"Um, I've been staying up late these days. I have to sell dessert at the market before dawn and then go to class, so I'm feeling a bit drowsy."

 

"Are you all right?"

 

"Yes, I am." 

 

Ruedee stopped pestering, knowing full well how stubborn Kaewta could be. He'd rather be worn out to the bone, but he'd never borrow money. After visiting Chan Pen, Ruedee followed her little friend to his house. The girl glanced at the small, antiquated dwelling she had grown accustomed to and then joined him to help him with preparations for tonight's dessert.

 

"Chan Pen!" A loud call from the front of the house made the boy put down the coconut and head outside.

 

"Mother is not here, Auntie Phin."

 

"Oh, then tell your mother this-if she doesn't pay the rent this month, she might as well start packing. But even if she does, she still needs to move out anyway." Auntie Phin clarified the reason for her visit. 

 

"Wait a second, Auntie. If we manage to cover our rent, why would we still have to move out?" Puzzlingly, Kaewta asked.

 

"Because I'm going to sell this house."

 

"Sell this house? Then where are we supposed to live, Auntie?"

 

"Urgh, that's your problem. This is my house. If I want to sell it, what does it have to do with you? You'd better find another roof before this month's end." 

 

With that, Auntie Phin spun on her heel and marched off, and her two underlings followed closely, leaving the boy standing still where he was.

 

"Kaew..." Ruedee touched her friend's shoulder. Kaewta looked back, smiled, and assured her he was all right.

 

"Tomorrow, I'll have to let my mother know."

 

"And where are you going to stay? Why don't you come to-"

 

"Ruedee!" A sweetly hoarse voice interrupted by calling out a friend's name, stopping the sentence in its tracks and silencing the young girl. 

 

"Thank you, but let me try my best first; if I really can't have it done, I'll make sure I'll tell you, Ruedee."

 

The young girl nodded, no longer wanting to go against her friend's wishes. Kaewta sank into the chair beside the hospital bed, sharing Auntie Phin's message with his mother. The boy bit his lip, his face drained of colour. Yet Chan Pen smiled at her son and consoled him instead. With a heavy heart, Kaewta squeezed the icy hand of the one lying on the bed.

 

"Let's make it through together. Don't overthink it, all right?"

 

Chan Pen ran her hand tenderly through her son's soft hair, full of affection. The young man sat quietly, looking at his mother's face. He curled his lips into a smile and nodded in response to her words. Kaewta, my sweet boy. 

 

Even though she had raised her son all by herself, Chan Pen's love for her son knew no bounds. She was certain that if her late husband were still alive, he would have adored and cherished their son just as much.

 

"And don't you both go to university?"

 

"The doctor said you could leave the hospital today, so I came to pick you up first." The boy clasped his mother's well-worn hand to his cheek and smiled softly.

 

A pair of feet stood motionless within sight, causing Kaewta to flit his eyes from the basket of snacks.

 

"Why don't you use it, Master?"

"Use what?"

 

"That title deed is yours; that land, that residence, all are yours." Kaewta's brow creased as he regarded Saen's towering frame with mistrust. How could the man before him know what he was going through?

 

"But it's not mine!"

 

"It's yours, sir. Deny it all you want, but it's still yours. And now are you going to desert it?"

 

The tall man's words sank into the boy's thoughtful hush. No amount of effort had led him to a new home for himself and his mother. And even if they found one, he couldn't imagine himself abandoning that deed.

 

By nightfall, Kaewta arrived home. Selling the desserts had taken long enough for him to mull over Saen's words. The brown envelope, left untouched still on the bookshelf since that day, was finally brought back into his hands.

 

"Kaew, are you-?" Seeing the paper in her son's hand, Chan Pen bent down and sat beside him.

 

"This morning, the man-Saen said that the land is mine."

 

"Umm."

 

"What's your opinion, Mother?" Placing the document down, Kaewta gave his mother a firm embrace.

 

"I believe in your decision."

 

"It's just for this moment. I'll try harder so we can have a place that's really ours." 

 

Chan Pen brushed her hand gently over Kaewta's hair, her gaze fixed on the window beyond. The sky was dark, yet the moonlight kept it from being pitch black. A sudden chill in the wind tugged at a mother's heart. She held her son close.

 

Time flows, stay true to its duty,

The wait will soon be over,

Love's words entwine in the tender winds,

Will cradle you, my dearest heart.