Interminable

The woman wailed as if deranged. She searched in desperation for where her beloved would hide. She loved him ineffably, but why had he been so cruel as to discard her heart thus? Yes, it was because of her. Because of that accursed stripling! Such a one merited death. No one, of any station, could steal her love away. He must be hers alone!

 

"Sophee, my child, are you truly a murderer?" The trembling, hoarse voice broke forth. The once august figure, now stooped with piercing lamentation. In his hands, he clutched a letter, while tears rolled down his cheeks.

 

"He deserved to die! He stole Khun Phi from me!"

 

"You!" His Excellency wept at this reply. His beloved daughter was no longer as prepossessing as before. Now she appeared like one distraught, bereft of reason.

 

"Dear Father, where is he? Where is Khun Phi? Father, you must help me find him. I shall marry him!" The lord-father sank to the floor, slipping his arms through the iron bars between them to gently smooth his daughter's hair.

 

"He is gone, Sophee."

"Gone? Where has he gone? To work?"

 

"Yai... has gone to a better place."

 

"Father, you lie to me." The woman stilled at what she heard, striving to deny the truth.

 

"No, Sophee. I'm not lying to you. Yai has truly died. He died of heart-sickness, following that dancer's death." At these final words, harrowing screams of grief resonated throughout the prison. She cried out, calling for him... his name... until her very last day…

 

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He understood everything now. Why he felt such a connection to that house, why he feared the forest behind the faculty grounds, and why Khun Phra Nai possessed those sorrowful eyes and that sorrowful smile. And the cause of his long, endless suffering

 

"Kaew! Kaew's awakened!" He recognised Ruedee's voice, but Kaewta took no heed. His tears did not stop...He wept on....

Whatever anyone asked him, he could only shake his head in reply. His tears would not be stayed. It was several long minutes before Kaewta could master his sobs and staunch his tears. Even then, the surge of sorrow still flooded his chest, refusing to abate.

 

"Kaewta, we're so relieved you've at last awakened. Your mother has just stepped out to change and will return shortly. Arjan Prem was here, too, and only just left. Are you hungry?" Ruedee rattled on, her eyes fixed on her classmate's face. 

 

Chai, newly arrived, offered a relieved smile and gently smoothed Kaewta's arm with concern as he let out a thankful sigh at the sight of the boy finally coming to his senses. It had been three full days and nights that he lay without consciousness. But Kaewta's first question left both siblings struck in silence, neither knowing quite how to respond.

 

"Where is Khun Phra Nai?" Ruedee glanced up at her brother, whose expression betrayed clear discomfort.

 

"Where is he?"

"He's gone."

 

"What!" The boy lurched upright in panic, only to sink back, reeling. Ruedee chided her friend before summoning the doctor to see to him. No matter how he pleaded, they would not permit him to leave the hospital. Everyone wanted to be sure he was truly well. Even so, the boy could not find rest. He had not seen Khun Phra Nai even once since coming back to consciousness. His heart seethed with an anxiety he could not name.

 

"Khun Yai, where are you?" He called to the other in his heart, again and again, fearing that if he betrayed any more distress, those around him would take him for mad. So, the boy could only sit motionless, staring at Khun Phra Nai's portrait, making no move.

 

"You're awake." Kaewta turned toward the voice. For a fleeting moment, his heart lifted at the familiar face before his eyes fell in disappointment, for it was not the person he longed to see.

 

"Arjan Prem..."

 

"You look quite unwell." Prem followed his gaze to the portrait. "That painting, may I ask who it is?" Though he was certain he knew the answer, he asked nonetheless.

 

"Arjan, could you help me with something?" Kaewta left the question unanswered and instead voiced his request. "Please take me to the White Manor."

 

"What? But-"

"I'm begging you. Please."

 

The man looked on, bewildered, as the frail figure hurried into the manor. Who was the boy here to see? The man from the portrait?

 

"Khun Yai! Khun Yai? Are you here?" The sweet voice came out hoarse and raw. His call rang through the house.

 

"Kaewta, who are you calling?" Prem caught his slender arm, turning him about. 

 

"No one lives here."

 

"There is! There is my Khun Yai, of course. He has to be here." The boy spun around, snapping back, and kept calling for that one person, completely unaware of the heart quietly wilting at his words, "my Khun Yai," that fell from his lips. The young professor went down to the lower hall with a hollow feeling and sank onto the dark-green sofa, spent. It seemed he had fallen, utterly and hopelessly, in love with Kaewta...

 

The professor stepped into what seemed to be a library, hoping to help with the search. The room was lined with tall bookshelves, and a large desk stood beneath a framed portrait. At the sight of it, the professor rushed forward, unable to believe his eyes. 

 

The portrait showed a strikingly handsome man gazing solemnly, dressed in the traditional white royal-pattern coat and olive-green loincloth, the same man from Kaewta's artwork. The yellowing drawing paper, the forlornness of this white house, as if it were desolate. Then that person couldn't truly exist.

 

"Kaewta! Who exactly are you looking for?" Prem ran upstairs again and seized the boy's arm once more, demanding an answer.

 

"I told you-it's Khun Yai! My Khun Yai!" The slight figure wrenched his arm free, thoroughly irritated by the man before him. Right now, he burned only with the need to find his Khun Yai!

 

"The man in the portrait?"

"Yes!"

 

"But... that portrait is decades old. How could he still exist?" Despite his doubts, the young professor asked, though he already knew the answer in his heart.

 

"He exists for me!" Like one beside himself, the youth kept calling for him without cease, tears now streaming down his cheeks. He knew-just as the professor said-that Khun Yai no longer existed here.

 

"It's impossible. Though I have never seen him, I know he is not human."

 

"How could you know better than I?" Kaewta's voice rose sharply. "He was here before, here with me!"

 

"If you truly see him, then he must be a ghost!"

 

"Stop it!"

 

"Where? Why doesn't he appear?" The professor raised his voice in return, pained by the boy's suffering before him.

 

"He must be here, must be..." Slender shoulders shook with sobs, dark lips trembling as they called that name in a broken, faltering voice.

 

"Kaewta..." The boy did not even realise when his strength gave way, and he collapsed into the man's broad chest, weeping. The man, whose love for the one in his arms had just dawned on him, felt his heart splinter at those tears.

 

"..Could it be me, Kaewta?" he whispered.

 

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The reverend monk gazed at the man's face and heaved a sigh, his heart heavy. These past several days, he had been beset by this stubborn man who came to wait on him almost daily. Though he wished to avoid such encounters, it would have been improper, for the man always claimed it was only to make merit and offer alms.

 

"And who is that?" the monk asked, nodding toward the figure seated behind the boy. The stranger's sharp, handsome features caused the monk's heart to grow doubly heavy.

 

"I am a university professor where Kaewta studies, Venerable Sir," the man acknowledged with a nod.

 

"Please tell me, Reverend Father, where they are: Khun Yai, Nanny Yam, and Saen." It was the same question he had asked for the past four or five days.

 

"They are still in that house."

 

"Then why can't I see them?" The reply kindled a glimmer of hope in those dulled eyes.

 

"Why would you hold them back, Layman? Soon, they will complete their karmic bonds in this existence."

 

"What do you mean, Father? Complete their bonds in such a manner?" His Reverence did not answer, but fixed his gaze steadily upon Kaewta. "Do you mean I will never meet them again?" This time, the reverend monk nodded in slow affirmation.

 

The hope that had just been a roaring blaze was snuffed out as quickly as it had come.

 

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"Could it be me?"

 

"What do you mean?" The boy turned to face the one behind him. The tall figure stepped closer, gently taking his slender wrist, eyes beseeching. No matter how often he came to see him, kept near, spoke with him, or lingered close, Kaewta never pushed him away, yet never truly admitted him to his heart either.

 

"Could I be the one who loves you...In Khun Phra Nai's stead?" the young professor asked. He had learned the whole story from Ruedee.

 

"You are not him," replied Kaewta, his voice steady. The words seemed meant more to persuade himself than anyone else. He stared back coolly, though deep down, he could not bring himself to send the man away in cruelty.

 

"I know, but I..."

 

"You do not know how hard it was for us to love each other." The boy drew his arm away from the larger hand and turned his back, knowing that if his gaze lingered on the man any longer, he would not be able to hold back his tears. And the reason Kaewta still allowed Arjan Prem to remain near was that he knew it all too well...was that he was selfish.

 

"No, I don't know how hard it was for you and him to love each other. But you don't know how much I love you."

 

".." Kaewta stood unmoving. His slender shoulders trembled before he straightened and walked away.

 

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Chai looked upon the scene before him with a stricken heart. Though he knew the answer, he still clung to a fragile hope. The tall figure lowered himself beside the lost-in-thought young boy, and with a gentle hand, brushed the hair from that smooth brow. The boy lifted his gaze to him.

 

"I don't expect you to forget him." Chai lightly took the pale hand in his. "Because I know you never could. I only ask that... perhaps you open your heart-just a little."

 

"Phi Chai... I love you like a blood brother," came the reply he had known all along. Yet hearing it from those lips hurt more than he had ever imagined. Chai gave a sad smile, his fine lips pressed tight to hold back his sorrow.

 

“I know. I understand now." Chai averted his gaze, pain throbbed in his heart, leaving it raw, yet his hand still would not let go of the smaller one. "Yet let me continue to care for you like this, please."

 

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Weeping, Kaewta was overcome with guilt that he could not return Chai's and Arjan Prem's affections, but his heart genuinely left no room for anyone else.

 

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He still came to the White Manor every day like clockwork. Though he could no longer see or hear as he once had, he believed the other was still there, just as the Reverend Father had said.

 

"Khun Yai, can you hear me?"The soft breeze brushed past in a gentle whisper while Kaewta's heart hammered against his ribs. He stepped into the spacious bedroom, finding everything unchanged, despite the countless days that had passed. The boy let himself fall onto the bed, stroking the cold, stale fabric with fingers weighted with longing.

 

"I miss you so. Please come out, Khun Yai. I have something to tell you. I must tell you." 

 

A moment ago, languid, the breeze grew suddenly tempestuous. The gossamer curtains lashed loudly. 'My Kaewta...' ...as if someone were calling his name. The slight figure rose swiftly to his feet, casting about for the source. ...Could he be at the rehearsal hall?

 

"Looking for someone?"

 

"You!" Startled, the small figure turned to face the speaker, eyes widening. A slender figure in pale pink glided toward him without a sound, brandishing a wooden club. Those narrowed, frightening eyes fixed on him with chilling intensity. Thin lips coated in dark lipstick curved into a smile. 

 

"Khun Sophee."

"Yes, it's me", Kaewta stepped back warily. 

 

"Afraid, are you?" The young woman slowly raised the club, idly stroking it as she tilted her head to observe the boy before her.

 

"What are you going to do?"

 

"What am I going to do? I'm going to make you disappear from this world!" Sophee declared harshly, her beautiful face twisting. 

 

"Khun Phi must be mine!"

"He's not yours!"

 

"Shut up! The day I first met him at Pahurat, something here told me I'd found him." The woman jabbed a finger at her left chest. Kaewta's mind reeled back to that day; hadn't it been Arjan Prem she met?

 

"After that, I kept encountering him again and again. Even though he wasn't exactly as in my dreams, it didn't matter. I'd found him, and that was enough."

 

"He's not-"

 

"But because of you! Through all seasons and storms, he's always in pursuit of your love. That's why I have to get rid of you!"

 

"Khun Sophee, let's end this. Please don't continue this cycle of retribution. I'm begging you."

 

"Never! As long as you exist, Darling will never look my way, and I won't accept that!" She shrieked. Those bewitching eyes were now bulging, glaring at Kaewta with a vengeful glare.

 

"But I will grant you full absolution." The boy said while scanning for an escape route, but Sophee barred the doorway.

 

"Oh, really? Then you'll have all my absolution when you're dead in this life!" With those words, she lunged forward, the club raised high. Kaewta tried to twist away, but the club struck his upper arm with full force, sending the youth crashing to the floor with a resounding thud.

 

"Khun Sophee, please don't do this," he pleaded. His upper arm pounded with pain. The bone might be fractured.

 

"Then just die!" Sophee struck again. The club smashed into the prone figure's head with full force. The body fell utterly still. She sneered with satisfaction and prodded him with her toe. The smile transformed into hysterical laughter. From now on, Khun Phi will be mine alone!

 

"Kaewta! Are you in there?" A deep voice boomed. Sophee's eyes flew wide as she dashed to the window. A tall man was striding into the White Manor. She had to act.

 

Yes! Burn it! Burn this house along with him!

Sophee rushed to grab the gasoline container she had prepared, frantically splashing it around the room as the footfall drew closer.

 

"Khun Sophee? What are you doing!" cried the young professor, catching sight of Kaewta's unconscious body sprawled on the floor. He edged forward, but stilled when Sophee shrieked a warning.

 

"Stay back!" She brandished a lit match. The tall figure did not dare move. The acrid reek of gasoline choked the air. All morning, an inexplicable concern for the boy had gnawed at him. Unable to bear it any longer, he had driven to Ruedee's house, knowing full well those cold, indifferent eyes would wound him. But even so, his concern for Kaewta remained overpowering. Finding no one there, he assumed Kaewta must be at the White Manor and raced there, anxiety burning through him.

 

"Please don't do anything foolish," he said, striving for calm, though worry for the person on the floor drove him to the brink of madness. The smooth brow was stained scarlet with blood, but the faint heave of the chest still betrayed life. He exhaled in relief.

 

"Foolish, is it? I've gone foolish because of you!"

 

"What?"

 

"Whether then or now, all you can see is him!"

 

Prem's brow furrowed at Sophee's accusation. But thinking back to what Ruedee had told him, he began to piece the fragments together. Perhaps Sophee was recalling their past lives through dreams, and now she was blurring those dreams with reality.

 

"I'm not him."

 

"Liar! You are him-Khun Phi, you belong to me, not to him!" The tall figure advanced to wrest the match from her hand. At the proper distance, he lunged, flinging Sophee's slender form clear of the oil-drenched floor. Screaming and struggling, the woman would not yield. They grappled and staggered toward the landing atop the stairs. Sophee wrenched free and cast the match into the room. Fire roared at once. The young professor was horrified by the scene, trying to pull away, but Sophee held him back from entering the room.

 

"Kaewta!" The tall one tried to throw off the woman, but she grasped with savage possessiveness. They both tumbled, plunging downward...

 

'Kaewta!' his mind screamed as the unconscious boy disappeared from view... Prem plummeted down… Pain lanced through his entire body. His limbs were leaden and immobile. Each shallow breath tore through his chest. Blood's metallic reek filled the whole room. The man gagged on dark clots and was too weak to rescue Kaewta. Must help! Bleary eyes caught hazy shadows. Someone approached. A tall, lean silhouette loomed above. That face, etched in his memory.

 

"Khun Phra Nai... Khun Yai, is that you?" he asked. The other gave a mournful nod. "You feel guilty for not being able to save Kaewta and me, don't you?" He nodded again. He attempted a smile, though it came hard. 

 

"Save Kaewta... please save him." Tears tracked down that handsome, fading face. Prem watched and smiled... for the last time… The blazing inferno raged unchecked. The stately White Manor was consumed, the conflagration swallowing the structure whole, along with the neighbouring buildings, the modest practice pavilion beside it. All vanished into the ravenous blaze, crazed with jealous rage.

 

"Kaewta, my precious one." The resonant voice carried, calling until delicate lids fluttered.

 

"Khun Yai?"

 

"You're safe now," the striking face smiled, murmuring reassurance.

 

"Where have you been?" Kaewta forced the words from his parched throat.

 

"I've been here, always near you."

 

"Don't disappear again. Don't go, because I love you."

 

"Kaewta?" The full lips lifted in a smile.

"I love you, Khun Yai."

 

"I love you, too. To no end.." came the whispered reply. The pale face smiled before heavy eyelids surrendered. Muted sobs echoed faintly.

 

"Farewell, my beloved Kaewta.'

 

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"He always faces mishaps and lands in the hospital every month!" The sweet voice chided briskly. As he stirred awake, he glimpsed his classmate standing there, dabbing away tears, unabashed despite her scolding tongue.

 

"Ruedee, please don't," her elder brother murmured, comforting his sister, before his expression shifted with surprise upon realising the patient on the bed was fully awake, watching the two of them. "You're awake?"

 

"Who's awake? I haven't slept at all. Ah, Kaew!" Ruedee exclaimed, swiping at her tears and rushing to the patient's bedside in delight.

 

"How did I end up here? Where's Khun Yai? And Khun Sophee too?"

 

Chai and Ruedee exchanged glances. The older sibling spoke up, asking in turn.

 

"Don't you remember what happened, Kaew?" The boy knit his brow before recounting what he could remember to the pair.

 

"How fortunate that it is only a cracked skull and fractured bones," Ruedee said. Kaew nodded, then cast a look at the tall figure. "Auntie Sophee is dead."

 

"What!" The patient on the bed jerked upright, grimacing as his arm still throbbed with pain. Yet he refused to lie back when Ruedee tried to press him down.

 

"After striking you senseless, she set the White Manor on fire... everything burned to cinders completely."

 

When Chai finished, Kaew's vision dimmed, and his strength failed, so Chai caught him against the headboard.

 

"What about Khun Yai? He rescued me."

 

"But the one who saved you was Arian Prem."

 

"Huh?"

 

"It seems he was badly hurt; he braved the flames to carry you out." Kaew stared, bewildered by their account. Why would his rescuer be Arjan Prem? He was certain it had been his Khun Yai...

"Where is he now?"

Once again, Ruedee exchanged a furtive glance with her brother.

 

"His relatives took him back to America."

"Huh?!"

 

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Six months had elapsed, yet nothing had changed. He turned the small gold ring on his left ring finger and released a sigh. When he woke in the hospital and learned the whole story, he only then noticed the ring was back on his finger. Kaewta remembered how it had once disappeared, and then how he had found it gracing the finger of the figure in the glass casket. He had never thought to reclaim it, yet that day it had somehow found its way back, settling once more upon his own finger.

 

After leaving the hospital, Kaewta relocated his mother from Ruedee's house to a modest rental.  No matter how his friend and her brother pleaded, their pleas could not sway him. He would not lean on others or become a burden, so he began working at whatever he could do. He drove himself to exhaustion so his mind would not wander, so that when his head touched the pillow, he would fall into deep sleep. Each morning, he went to the university, and when evening fell, he returned to work. On and on it went. He was running away, trying to make his heart accept. Accept that his Khun Yai had forever gone...

 

The White Manor was nothing now but ash and cinder, and the little house behind it as well. Nothing remained. Only memories to hold onto. Often, he would come to stand here and let silent tears fall, with no sound of sobbing. He would bite his lip hard to keep from speaking aloud the name of the one who lived in his thoughts. May this cycle of suffering come to a close. Grant him no further torment.

 

"The Reverend Father told him that the triplet had passed on, gone to a kinder realm, released from the wheel of karmic tapestry. So, all Kaewta could do was weep quietly whenever he missed them and keep making merit, dedicating it to them since their passing. And in the end, Arjan Prem resigned without waiting to hear a word of thanks.

 

"You once said you didn't want to come," Ruedee remarked, halting beside her small friend's slender frame in the forest garden behind the faculty building.

 

"Yes, but it doesn't bother me anymore."

The young woman arched an eyebrow at this reply before following her friend to sit beneath a great tree, arranging her drawing board. The petite figure leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes. Yes, he had once dreaded this place, where he had died long ago; now he felt unmoved by it, for he understood the source of that fear and had resolved to let it go.

 

"Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention-there's a parcel for you, Kaew." He lifted an eyebrow at his friend's news, but didn't at once get up to go to the office. The parcel was in a cylindrical tube, like those used for storing sketches. He turned it over, searching for the sender's name, but found nothing. Someone appeared to have left it in the room rather than having posted it. 

 

Ruedee shrugged when he glanced her way in question. Kaewta carefully removed the cap. Inside was a large sheet of paper. He slowly unrolled it...This was-! His hands, which held the paper, shook. His narrow eyes widened in disbelief. The shock slowly gave way to smouldering anger. The architectural drawings of the White Manor!

 

"Arjan, did you see who left this parcel in the room?" he asked the professor in the office. The man said he hadn't seen anyone-he had only informed the students of its arrival.

 

"What's wrong, Kaew?"

 

"This drawing! He went ahead and drew it after all!!" The boy spoke through gritted teeth, clearly irritated.

 

"Who?"

 

"Arjan Prem, of course!" After promising not to draw the White Manor without my permission. This is such a blatant lie! Eventually, Kaewta located the former professor's last address. Though he wasn't certain whether the man had returned from the States yet, he wanted to roll the dice anyway.

 

"Come now, don't be so harsh with Arjan Prem. At least he saved your life that time, remember?"

 

"Oh, right. In that case, I'll thank him first, then clock him in the face for breaking his promise!"

 

Tapered fingers jabbed at the doorbell in a frenzy without letup. Ruedee caught her friend's hand, worried the bell might burn out. But a moment later, the boy turned to hammering on the gate instead.

 

"Hey! Arjan Prem! Are you here? Come out right now!" The boy hollered, both furious and impatient. He alternated between yelling and ringing the bell, oblivious to his companion's prodding, until she couldn't bear it and yanked his shoulder around. 

 

"What... is it?" Before he could complete the question, his gaze caught a familiar silhouette. The tall figure froze upon spotting them, then swiftly turned and strode away.

 

"Stop right there!" Hearing the shout like that, the man immediately broke into a sprint. "Hey!" Just like that, it suddenly turned into a chase.

 

"...."

"Why did you run from me?" Kaewta asked. 

 

At last, he had caught up with him. The boy sprang forward, looping his arms around the taller figure's neck in an unyielding grip that sent them both tumbling face-first to the ground, then hauled him into a nearby iced black coffee shop.

 

"No, I wasn't!" BANG! Before he could finish his denial, a slender hand slammed the table with a crack that made both the man and Ruedee jump. That large hand pushed up the oversized sunglasses that had slid down, setting them back over his eyes.

 

"How dare you lie to me?" Beads of sweat gathered on his broad brow as he met the petite figure's gaze, wondering how the once-endearing Kaewta had become so formidable.

 

"No, dear. Ah, I mean, no, I didn't." He adjusted his glasses again; they kept sliding on the sweat that slicked his skin.

 

"You broke your promise to me."

"Yes?"

 

"Don't act as if you've forgotten. You said you wouldn't paint the White Manor without my permission- What?" Kaewta's sentence left dangling as Ruedee tugged sharply at his sleeve.

"There's something else you should say first."

 

"Oh. Thank you for saving my life then." Before the man could even nod, Kaewta continued with words that left him stunned. 

 

"Even though I mistook you for someone else."

"Kaew!"

 

"Uh..." The handsome face beneath the sunglasses went pallid.

 

"Now, let's get to the main point... Oh well, could you please remove your sunglasses?" Kaewta crossed his arms and pointed at the sunglasses on the man's face. The man shook his head just as quickly. 

 

"Hey, you. Don't you know it's rude? We're indoors; why wear sunglasses?" When the other was silent and unmoving, the smaller one drew a long breath to tamp down the surge of anger. He didn't understand why merely seeing this face unravelled his composure. It wasn't as though the young professor had always irritated him when they'd met before. It was familiar: anger, frustration, and an old urge to tease.

 

"Let's cut to the chase. You do realise I'm frustrated, don't you?"

 

"..." The man shook his head, then, meeting those blazing eyes, quickly nodded.

 

"Do you know why?" This time, the owner of the lovely face smiled sweetly, though the observer felt a chill run down his spine as he shook his head.

 

"Have you lost your tongue?"

"No."

 

"All I see is nodding and head-shaking. I'm starting to think the cat got your tongue."

 

"What a foul mouth," he murmured under his breath, though the instigator had keen ears. The boy snapped a question.

 

"Excuse me?!"

 

"Um, could we please get to the main point now?" Ruedee couldn't help but interject. If she let this be, it seemed that Arjan Prem, once so self-assured, would be thoroughly dominated by this small person.

 

"Yes! I'm telling you I'm furious that you broke your promise."

 

"Promise?"

 

"The one where you promised not to paint the White Manor without my permission!"

 

"Er.." His expression made it plain it'd slipped his mind entirely, prompting the boy to slam the table again, making everyone jump again.

 

"What did you mean by this?"

 

"I... merely wished to see the White Manor restored to its former state."

 

"So you go back on your word and drew this?"

 

"Have I ever pledged my word to that?" That quaint turn of phrase made the youth crease his brow.

 

"You don't seem old enough to have memory trouble, sir."

 

"..." The man remained impassive. Kaewta huffed and pulled the brown sheet from its tube.

 

"As punishment for breaking your promise, I'm going to tear this up!"

 

"No!" The tall gentleman leapt up, reaching to seize the painting from the smaller hands. At that instant, his dark spectacles slipped from his handsome face.

 

"Uh!" The small figure froze upon meeting the other's gaze, permitting the paper to be taken with ease from his grasp.

 

"Pardon me. I must take my leave." The tall figure set his spectacles in place and strode from the shop at once, leaving the boy rooted to the spot. Yet his heart hammered in his chest!

 

"Ruedee, did you just see what I saw?"

"What?"

"Khun Yai..."

 

"Where?" The girl craned her neck, peering about the shop, but saw not so much as the shadow of the young master her friend mentioned.

 

"Right in front of us."

"Huh?"

 

"Just now."

"Are you daydreaming, Kaew?"

 

"It's not a daydream, Ruedee! I'm sure it was him!"

 

"What do you mean?"

"That wasn't Arjan Prem, Ruedee."

 

"You must be missing him far too much." His friend objected. She'd clearly seen a living man-how could it be that young master? It seemed her friend must be overwrought with longing for Khun Phra Nai. The boy bit his lip... Perhaps he was deluding himself, as Ruedee said.

 

"Tell me, don't you think what we're doing seems a bit unhinged?" Ruedee asked the person next to her.

 

"Why isn't he driving his car?"

 

"Maybe he's just bored, so he chose the tricycle ride." Before her friend could finish her analysis, the slender figure rushed toward the man about to climb into the three-wheeler.

 

"Uh!" The man jerked when his strong arm was held back.

 

"Where are you going?"

"Kaewta! Well, I'm going out for leisure."

 

"Leisure? Then I'm coming with you."

"Pardon?"

 

"How about taking your motor car? More of us can fit." The boy shook that arm coaxingly as the tall figure grew flustered.

"Mo...motor car?"

"Yes. I've seen you drive it to the university."

 

"Well, I-I had a mind to try the tricycle."

 

"Then, where are you going for leisure? I'll come along."

 

"Going... well...to..."

 

"We could go to that place you took me to earlier." The boy persisted, trying to catch the eyes that kept slipping from his. "You remember, don't you?"

 

"..Which place was that?"

"...

 

In the end, Kaewta had to name the destination himself. Of course, they didn't take the tricycle as the man had wished, but instead went in Ruedee's car, with her serving as chauffeur. 

 

The professor watched the girl's assured handling with interest, asking whether women could drive cars too. Ruedee let out a light laugh at the remark, while Kaewta kept studying the tall figure's peculiar behaviour. He tried to catch a glimpse of the man's large hands, as though searching for something, but the other seemed alert and kept them tucked in his pockets the entire time.

 

The past week had only strengthened the boy's conviction about his suspicions. Even Ruedee had noticed the irregularities Kaewta pointed out about the young professor. For instance, the professor always wore sunglasses, regardless of the weather, even on cloudy days with barely any sun. Or when he'd invited them to return to the university, Arjan Prem couldn't recall a single colleague. Sometimes, to cover his mistakes, the man would feign a cough, plead a sore throat, and smile in silence. When taking them to the cinema, he acted as if he'd never seen a motion picture before. Everything felt strange and new to this young professor.

 

"He's completely different from before," Chai reaffirmed, having been dragged into this investigation since he, too, was close to the professor.

 

"How is he different, Phi Chai?"

 

"He's more reserved. Speaks less. Doesn't joke around or mingle with people easily like before." The young pair nodded in agreement.

"Now he seems dignified, like those of noble bearing," Ruedee added. The two men nodded.

 

"...I think the light in his eyes has changed," the boy said.

 

"How?" the siblings asked together.

 

"Arjan Prem has brown eyes. His gaze held a little mischief, and he never favoured sunglasses."

 

"And now?"

"l... I think his eyes are like Khun Yai's."

 

".." Everyone fell silent upon hearing Kaewta's words. They all glanced at the tall figure entering the house while they hid in Chai's car.

 

"We need more proof than this," Chai sighed. He didn't believe what Kaewta was suggesting. Obviously, the man was flesh and blood, not a spirit.

 

"..." The venerable monk stared at the figure before him for so long that the man could barely sit still. The three in back nearly held their breath at the old monk's regard.

 

"Er, is there something amiss, I mean, wrong, with my face, Reverend Father?" The man asked, trying to control the tremor in his voice.

 

"Not at all, Layman. Where have you been? It's been a long while since I've seen your face."

 

"At my hometown in the States, Venerable."

 

“Oh, I see. And have you returned for good or just visiting?"

 

"I shall remain permanently if circumstances permit."

 

"Is that so? Come closer." When the tall figure moved near, the monk sprinkled him with holy water and handed him something. 

 

"May you dwell in peace and happiness, free from suffering and sorrow. Make good use of what time remains; let it not pass in vain."

 

"Yes, Venerable Father." The man bowed low to pay homage, taking those words to heart and sighing. The venerable monk must have seen...

 

The boy followed in silence, then quickened his pace to walk beside him. The taller man turned with a smile, yet averted his gaze from the boy.

 

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"What are you uttering about?"

 

"If you won't say it, I'll ask instead. How did you manage to draw the White Manor so precisely?"

 

"Er..."

 

"You hardly know its layout, but I've lived there long enough to see your sketch was flawless, not even a single detail off from the original.

 

"t...It must have been... a coincidence."

 

"Why not just say you teach art-that, with just a few careful observations, you could render it perfectly?"

 

"Well..." The tall man stopped walking, sweat beading at his temples despite the cool evening air.

 

"And besides, the day I asked for your promise not to draw the White Manor, do you remember what you asked of me in return?"

 

"..."His palms went clammy as he scrambled for any excuse, but nothing convincing came to mind.

 

"Last question: Why do you always wear those sunglasses around me?"

 

".." The boy stepped to face him and slowly removed the sunglasses. His eyes, once brown, now shone like onyx, carrying that hauntingly familiar sorrow.

 

"Because you're afraid I'd realise you're not the real Arjan Prem?"

 

"Huh!"

"Am I right, Khun Yai?"

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

He looked down at the lifeless body with profound pity, one who bore his very face, as if cast from the same mould, and also shared the same love for Kaewta. He wept for the man who had given even his life to shield the one he loved. 

 

The man squeezed his eyes shut, then resolved and entered the body that had just drawn its last breath. He had no strength left to help anyone while he remained in his current form. Rising, he looked down at the rough-hewn body now moving at his command. The fine head was still matted with blood. He turned to the figure lying beside him... still faintly breathing. What unnerved him was that the other had been swept into the flames... Kaewta. He rose and raced upstairs. The unconscious form gave no sign of waking.

 

"Kaewta, He vaulted through the flames, heedless of how severely his arms and legs might burn. The staircase creaked and collapsed as the fire seized it. "Sophee!" he cried, but steeled his heart when he saw flames engulfing her form.

 

"Khun Yai, sir! The balcony!" Saen appeared like a wraith, calling. He tied bedsheets and silk cloths together into a long rope, looped it under Kaewta's arms, and lowered the unconscious youth to where Saen waited below. He then descended swiftly as the room was consumed, the flames spreading throughout the house...

 

"Kaewta, my precious one." He called after bringing the young one to safety.

 

"Khun Yai?"

 

"You're safe now." He whispered soothingly, cradling the slight form in his arms.

 

"Where have you been?"

"I've been here, always been around you."

 

"Don't disappear again. Don't go, because I love you."

 

"Kaewta?" He smiled at these words, his heart swelling with joy.

 

"Kaew loves Khun Yai."

 

"I love you, too. To no end.." came the whispered reply. The pale face smiled before weighted eyelids surrendered. Muted sobs echoed faintly. He gazed upward to the translucent form of the young professor who shared his face, still wearing that unwavering smile. The figure drew nearer to the one in his arms, bent to press a kiss upon the smooth forehead, and whispered through soft sobs:

 

"Farewell, my beloved Kaewta.'

 

He struggled to escape his corporal form, but it seemed to no avail. In a panic, he looked at Saen, who was standing at his side, smiling gently.

 

"Saen... what am I to do? Why can't I leave this body?"

 

"Khun Yai, perhaps your fate is written thus."

 

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, eyes wide. Saen still smiled, though his figure had begun to fade, growing more translucent with each passing moment.

 

"Fate may have granted your hun Yai a second chance at life."

 

"But..."

"Saen?"

 

"It's time for me to follow Nanny Yam, Master."

"..."

 

"My only regret is that I shall not be here to witness the happiness between you and Khun Kaew, as I had so dearly hoped.”

 

"Please, feel no guilt, Khun Yai. Saen knew nothing but joy in sharing both sorrow and solace at your side. My only regret is that I cannot see the happiness that awaits you." He gently placed two gold rings upon the patient's bed.

 

"Saen...

 

"Farewell, Khun Yai. If merit allows, may I be born to serve you again, and may your life be filled with joy, my dear lord." And with that, Saen bowed low to the ground and faded away, leaving nothing but silence-and the sound of his solitary weeping

 

"With tender care, he slid the delicate ring onto the unconscious one's ring finger, then pressed a reverent kiss to the back of that hand. Turmoil seethed within him, each concern vying for place. By chance, the young professor's family arrived from the States after hearing of the injury and took him home for treatment there. He judged it wise to remain apart from his dearest for a time, in this season when he could not fathom how to handle this matter. Slowly, he began to learn to inhabit the young professor's life from the ground up. 

 

Their faces were as alike as twins, yet the world around him demanded endless adjustments. It took him six full months to grow accustomed to it all.

 

Upon returning to Thai soil, his heart fell at the sight of the White Manor reduced to charred bones. Thus, he took up his drafting tools, redrawing the plan from memory, unaware of whatever vow the young professor had made to Kaewta. Not until the youth had already received the plan and sought him out did he realise how gravely he had erred.

 

He was not yet ready to face Kaewta, for he was at a loss as to where to begin. Until finally, the other saw through the discrepancies and cornered him...

 

"Were you afraid I'd realise you're not the real Arjan Prem?"

 

"Pardon?"

 

"Am I right, Khun Yai?" Transfixed, he froze where he stood, gazing down at that dainty visage with an anxious glint in his eyes.

 

"What are you saying?" His rich voice wavered.

 

"Hmm." The youth's brow knitted at his response. Biting his lip, he raised his left hand into view, displaying the band on his fourth finger. His right hand began to slide it free, slow and deliberate.

 

"Don't!" Panic-stricken, his hands seized those slender fingers poised to fling the token aside. He gathered the slight form against him in a rush of panic. "Forgive me, dear! Please forgive me."

 

"Why did you lie? HIC... Why did you hide yourself from me?" The petite figure buried his face against the broad chest. Sobbing shook his entire frame. Every pent-up feeling surged free.

 

"Little One, please grant me forgiveness."

 

"Do you know how much I missed you? My heart ached as if it would splinter, believing I'd lost you forever. SOB..."

 

"Forgive me, Love. I missed you terribly, too." Solid palms cradled that velvety face with infinite tenderness, pressing a gentle kiss to the smooth forehead. He kissed away those tears. Then, finally, claimed those dusky lips... lingering, deep with longing.

 

"Khun Yai."

"Yes?"

 

"I love you."

 

The man's eyes widened, then broke into a smile, so bright it was almost blinding. He brushed a kiss to the tip of that button nose and whispered: "I love Kaewta too."

 

Love...

With boundless devotion.... The treasure of my soul...

O drifting soul from realms afar,

No ocean depth can unbar,

To Thailand's queen, my heart was drawn,

To thee my vow is etched in stone.

Though realms may turn and fate divide,

My love for thee shall still abide.

O lunar princess of the nocturnal sky,

Pray, all the heights witness to our rite.

 

Fortune's hour, bright and new,

Joins our souls in union true.

My fair lady, hear thy brother's plea,

I shall love thee through eternity more.

O sweet blossom, frangipani,

I love thee as vast as the vaulted sky.

By some mysterious twist of fate, Khun Phra Nai's soul came to live in this body. After all was resolved, Kaewta and Khun Phra Nai both ordained for one rainy retreat under Arjan Prem, in enduring gratitude and remembrance. After that, they shared ten full years. Ten years short, yet long enough to ease the bitterness in their hearts. By early this year, that flesh had grown frail with age. He wept with dread, but Khun Phra Nai only smiled and soothed him as he cried into his chest, urging him to accept what must come to pass. He even thanked the heavens for those ten precious years. To share a life, to love it, felt like recompense after such prolonged anguish, so he chose to be content with what had been given. And when the day came, and Khun Phra Nai passed away, he shed no more tears.

 

He lifted his gaze to watch the white smoke meandering skyward, accompanied by teardrops that slowly traced his cheeks, without any sound of weeping. He no longer endured that soul-rending torment over what had occurred. The time they had shared was already immensely worthwhile for both of them because the flesh was never Khun Phra Nai's from the start; it was but a borrowed flesh whose allotted time had expired according to karmic design.

 

"Farewell, Khun Yai. Before long, we will meet once again." Kaewta smiled, murmuring. He no longer vowed eternal union through countless lives to come. He would not let his words become shackles that might hold the other back and bring suffering. Kaewta was sure that, however many incarnations they moved through, the two of them would find one another again and love again...

 

...Through Asongkhai span...