Interminable

The scribbling sound stopped, and the artist smiled. The boy took a deep breath, then allowed himself a pleased grin as he studied the finished sketch. This should have been enough for today, and he would continue with colouring tomorrow. 

 

Carefully, he began gathering his art supplies, stood up, and unfastened the paper from the easel, intending to take it inside. But he stopped short as he turned and found himself face-to-face with a perfect stranger staring intensely at him.

 

"Uh..."

"You?"

 

"Oh! Auntie Sophee, so this is where you were. Kaew, too."

 

"Ruedee," Kaewta greeted his friend, though his eyes remained fixed on the beautiful lady standing before him.

 

"Kaewta, this is Auntie Sophee, my distant relative. Auntie, this is my friend, Kaewta. He will be staying with us for a while." Ruedee introduced them to one another. Kaewta offered a polite wai, and Auntie Sophee returned his greeting with a warm and amicable smile.

 

"Kaewta? I've seen your artwork. So lovely."

 

"Thank you." Tightening the hold around his drawing, the boy bowed in gratitude for the compliment.

 

"You like the arts, Auntie? Why don't you visit Phi Chai's gallery? There are plenty of arts there." Ruedee suggested, sensing that her cousin was keenly interested in the arts, for her eyes unblinkingly stared at Kaewta's hand.

 

"Those are Kaewta's arts?"

 

"Oh, Kaew submits some of his works to Phi Chai's gallery, too-everything he draws is splendid."

 

"Do you draw people?" Sophee cut in before Ruedee could finish. Ruedee wrung her mouth disapprovingly. Particularly, she had never been fond of this relative.

 

"No, ma'am. I don't draw people."

"I see. But have you ever? Even once, in the past?"

 

"Yes... only once."

 

"Really?" Sophee's smile widened as she took a step closer. "And who was it you chose to draw?"

 

"Pardon?"

 

*I'm only curious about who the lucky person might be, the one you find worthy of being your sole subject."

 

"Why do you ask?"

"Well... I'm a little envious."

 

"Envious?" He couldn't quite read her intentions: the first look she gave was full of loathing, then came a neutral smile, then a friendly, teasing one; none of them quite matched.

 

"To be frank, I truly love your work. I wish you would consider sketching a portrait of me someday. But since you say you don't draw people... That's why I can't help but envy the one person you have chosen to draw."

 

"I see," Kaewta exhaled, feeling a bit less tense now that he had heard her explanation. He might have just read too much into her behaviour.

 

"Would you mind telling me who the model was?"

"Well... Uh..."

 

"You seem to be fond of Kaew very much, even though you've only just met him." Unable to bear her classmate's discomfort any longer, Ruedee interjected, setting courtesy aside for once and speaking up.

 

"I've seen him with Ruedee before, and the day when I visited Arjan Kitti at the university."

 

"You know Arjan Kitti?" Keawta's question boomed loudly. Sophee raised her eyebrows in bafflement and asked.

 

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"Do you know where he is now?"

 

"What's going on? He's a professor; shouldn't he be at the university?" Sophee asked with a soft chuckle.

 

"No, he's not there anymore. He's gone missing. He stole Kaewta's drawing and ran off." Ruedee explained on Kaewta's behalf. Sophee turned to look at the boy again and questioned back.

 

"A drawing? What drawing did he steal from you?" Her gaze, resting on the boy, was curious and expectant.

 

"A drawing, a portrait... of him," Kaewta answered in a muffled voice, his small hand tightening at the memory of that day the drawing was taken.

 

"A portrait of him?" Sophee's smile grew cold, and she regarded Kaewta with a chilling stare. "Why not just draw it again?"

 

"l..."

 

"You already have your model, right? Surely, he would not refuse if you asked him to pose for you again, would he?"

 

"He... Uh..."

 

"Shall I speak to him for you, then? I'm pretty good at persuasion," Sophee seized Kaewta's free hand into hers.

 

"Now tell me, who is he? And where to find him?"

 

"He isn't here, ma'am. And... I'm afraid you won't be able to speak with him either. Forgive me if I'm being rude, but if you'll excuse me."

 

Kaewta withdrew his hand and turned to leave. Ruedee, too, hastily followed her friend back into the house, unwilling to linger or exchange another word with this relative, leaving her alone there. The young lady's smile slowly faded until nothing remained but a scowl. Her delicate hand clenched so tightly that her nails dug deep into her own flesh. Those eyes burned with fury as she cast a seething glance at the retreating figure of the boy.

 

"You liar! I know he's with you. If not, how could you possibly have drawn his portrait?" Sophee's shapely lips twisted with indignation. 

 

She had gone to great lengths to find out who it was that had drawn the portrait of the man in her dreams. And what a bitter irony it was-the artist turned out to be none other than the close friend of her niece, Ruedee, her not-so-favoured relative. She was dying to know why Kaewta had drawn that portrait and where that man was, so she deigned to visit this house.

 

Sophee had to endure an endless, tiresome conversation with Ruedee's father before excusing herself to step outside for air. Finally, fortune smiled at her, for just as she was wondering how best to approach Ruedee about meeting that boy, she spotted him in the garden, engrossed in his art.

 

Those brushstrokes-Sophee recognised them at once. She had spent months staring at that portrait, night and day, too distraught to do anything else. It turned out that Kaewta was the one who had drawn him. The boy must know him. She couldn't be more sure! She had to find out where he was. Yet it seemed that kid, Kaewta, distanced himself from her, for he would not divulge a single piece of information about the man in question.

 

You think someone like me would ever give up? Never! She had to find out where her dream man, Khun Yai, was!

 

Kaewta was on the brink of letting it slip that the man in the drawing didn't truly exist. It wasn't that he didn't wish to draw the man again, but rather that he wanted to understand why he couldn't draw anyone else, why it was only him. Until a clear answer was found, he had vowed not to pull that nobleman again. Slowly, Kaewta sighed as he laid his drawing on the easel: White Manor. 

 

Looking back at how Sophee had stared at him just now, a surge of eerie chill coursed through Kaewta out of nowhere. In those eyes, he could sense hatred, expectation, and a hunger for something he could not name. Not in the act of kindness, nor in the way he wanted her to. At the very thought, he had pulled his hand away from her grasp at once.

 

How he wished tomorrow would come even sooner, so he could return to that residence. He wanted to know, after that Kaewta cut his own hair...cut the bind between himself and Khun Phra Nai, what would the man do?

 

Kaewta was only granted one joss stick a week on Saturdays. Chai was free because his mother didn't let him visit the White Manor alone. During the sleep where he gathered the pieces of the past, he had to have Chai accompany him every time. That was the firm request from his mother, the one who loved him beyond words.

 

Once the joss stick burned down completely, Chai was to wake him immediately, following the Venerable monk's instructions.

 

At last, Saturday arrived. Kaewta went to the temple to receive his allotted joss stick and offer alms on behalf of Khun Phra Nai, Saen, and Nanny Yam. The Reverend Monk only reminded him that he should stay no longer than one burned incense stick and no more. After the words ceased, nothing else passed his lips. The Venerable monk only gazed long at Kaewta and sighed heavily.

 

"Is there something on your mind, Venerable?"

"Lately, do you have time to meditate?"

 

"Why do you ask?" Chai asked, noting the Venerable monk's troubled expression. It triggered his concern for Kaewta in an instant, as he feared a new danger was approaching.

 

"I only wish for Kaewta to make offerings for any soul he may have wronged. Nothing else." The Venerable monk smiled thinly as he answered.

 

"I'll find the time to come, sir. I think I can manage it on Fridays," Kaewta accepted the monk's word, though a strange unease was already stirring inside of him.

 

"In that case, I'll accompany you," said Chai. The two then paid their respects to the old monk and departed for the White Manor, unaware that someone was quietly trailing them with the harbouring feud.

 

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The nocturnal zephyr lessened the scorching heat of the day. The pond's surface danced, causing tiny ripples and swaying the lotus leaves. Yet the owner of that fair, winsome face sat utterly still with tapering arms curled around his knees.

 

Ever since that day, he had not set eyes on Khun Phra Nai, and nearly a month had slipped by without a single glimpse of those once-familiar eyes. Perhaps it had all been a misunderstanding from the start-perhaps Khun Phra Nai had finally come to realise he was no lady after all. And yet... why did the pain in his chest refuse to subside? Why did it hurt that he could nearly weep and felt as though his heart might leap out?

 

His small hand clutched firmly over his left chest. His tapering eyes dimmed before lifting his hand to touch the ends of his hair, which now cropped just above the nape. Good. It was for the best...

 

Burying his face between his knees, Kaewta recalled the day he had dared to shear his own hair. Luang Sanor had nearly collapsed with shock. He had earned a fair number of stripes across his calves, for a dancer with cropped hair could neither be properly dressed nor take the stage until it had grown out once more. So Kaewta had been banished to the sidelines, made to sing while his sisters danced in his place. 

 

Worse still, Luang Sanor had been so enraged that he refused to summon Kaewta as he once had, not unless there was work to be done within the palace. Only then would the boy be permitted to sit at his side and massage him, hoping to soothe away the remnants of his displeasure.

 

"Kaew," came a familiar, baritone voice, prompting the boy to turn in surprise.

 

"Phi Kan? Is that you?" Kaewta asked, seeking certainty. The man before him was cloaked head to toe in cloth, and in this darkness, it was nearly impossible to discern who he might be.

 

"Yes, it's me. And what are you doing sitting out here at this hour? Have you still not learned to go home before nightfall?"

 

"And you, Phi Kan-what are you doing sneaking about in the dark? And who have you brought with you?"

 

Kaewta tried to peer past the cloak to see the one who accompanied him.

 

"I was running an errand for the lordship. Never mind me - you should be heading home now. Sitting here by the water like this after dark; beware, or the water spirit will come to drag you under." 

 

Phi Kan's words came with a playful warning. Kaewta cast a glance back at the water and promptly ran to his side.

 

"Don't say such things. You'd better walk me back to the house, then!"

"Bah! Don't be childish. I've spent enough time on you as it is. We should be going, sir." 

 

The last words were directed at the figure behind him, before Kan turned to lead the way. Kaewta hurried to follow, casting curious glances toward the taller man veiled beneath the shroud.

 

"Has Uncle already returned, Phi Kan?" Kaewta tried to make conversation.

 

"Mmm. Khun Luang has just arrived this evening. But I don't know why he sent me running to fetch a foreign physician in the dead of night."

 

"Is Uncle ill?"

 

"Eh, I don't think so; he looked well enough to me. Hey! Don't you breathe a word of this to anyone that I brought the foreign physician here, Kaew. Khun Luang insisted I tell no soul."

 

Though mystified, Kaewta nodded. He followed Kan and the cloaked figure all the way home out of concern. Once they arrived, everyone was barred from entering the room except for the foreign doctor. It was only when a call for hot water came that Kaewta darted faster than anyone else and took it into Luang Sanor's chamber. The moment he stepped inside, Khun Luang looked at him as if surprised before accepting the kettle and passing it to the doctor.

 

"Leave now," Khun Luang ordered. Yet Kaewta still hesitated, so it earned him a scold once more. But then, his eyes caught sight of a tall, familiar figure standing guard beside the bed, shielding the injured man completely from view.

 

"Saen..." Why was he here?

 

"I said leave, Kaew!" Khun Luang's rebuke made him jump. Without another word, Kaewta obeyed and stepped out of the room. But deep inside, there was a turmoil of restless worry when he thought of Saen's expression just now... Could the injured man be him?

 

Half the night passed before the western physician finally emerged. Kan escorted him out and cloaked his head to toe just as he had once come in. Kaewta could only watch them go, biting back his questions. The boy remained by the doorway, awaiting Khun Luang, who finally came out. At the sight of Kaewta, he let out a sigh.

"Is there any errand Uncle has for me?" Kaewta smiled.

 

"Just go to bed." Luang Sanor waved him off, striding away, but was halted mid-stride by the expression of the boy whom he cherished like his own kin.

 

"Who is ...the injured man, sir?"

"What do you hope to gain by asking?"

 

Kaewta looked down to avoid the gaze. He just wanted to be sure because all the while he had been sitting there, he had been so worried that it was on the verge of driving him mad. How seriously injured was the patient? Were they all right?

 

"l... I only..."

 

"You chose to walk this path yourself, didn't you? Whether he lives or dies is no concern of yours, Kaew."

 

"Yes, sir. It does not concern me... But why does my heart wrench so terribly, as though it would tear apart at the thought that it might be him lying there?" The tears pooled in those lovely eyes as he stared up at his elder with bewilderment.

 

"...Do not let anyone know that he is here," Luang Sanor sighed before walking away.

 

Within the chamber, a well-proportioned figure lay stretched out unconscious on the bed while another person carefully tended to him with a damp cloth. Saen turned to glance briefly at Kaewta before returning to his task. Kaewta stepped closer, lifting the gauzy mosquito net to get a better view of the figure within. The handsome face lay pale, the right shoulder bearing the marks of injury, treated with medicine and wrapped in a bandage that still seeped blood.

 

"What happened?"

"It's his work, sir." He rose and placed the damp cloth to dry in the corner of the room while Kaewta paused a short distance from the bed, not daring to come any closer. 

 

"He was struck by the fire of the rebels' muskets. They managed to escape, and we can't bring Khun Phra Nai back to His Excellency's residence just yet because the rebels have yet to learn that he had gone undercover on a secret mission."

 

"Is he severely wounded?"

"Severely enough. He'll have to stay here for quite some time, I suppose. I'm dead on my feet, Khun Kaew; would you mind taking over the watch for a while?'

 

"Uh..."

 

"If no one relieves me, I shall be the next one to collapse. Then it would be trouble for Khun Luang to find someone else to keep vigil."

 

"Go to sleep, then. But only for six hours!"

"Yes, sir. Just six hours, and Lady Chui 

 

Chai-no, Khun Kaew-can rouse me whenever you wish," Saen grinned broadly before stretching his weary limbs, pulling a blanket over himself, and settling down near the wall.

 

Kaewta sank onto the bedside of the patient, who was asleep, rendered unconscious by pain and medicine. His small hand lifted and brushed gently against the rough cheek that had grown noticeably gaunt. Just knowing that the other person was safe... brought Kaewta a measure of relief. 

 

Then why did Kaewta's heart still race like this? It wasn't as if they had anything to do with each other. Yes, truly, Kaewta and Khun Phra Nai had no connection at all. Kaewta withdrew his hand, turning away from the sleeping figure. What hope was there when this was the path that he had chosen for himself? How could he not know the reason Khun Phra Nai had been so entangled with him all this time? Kept smiling, kept pursuing him, and yet Kaewta had never declared his firm refusal. But this wasn't right, was it? Just like Lady Sophee said. Khun Phra Nai made a mistake when he was not a woman.

 

"COUCH! Water... Saen, bring me some water." That baritone voice rasped. The young nobleman said that despite his eyes being closed, the weight of the pain and fever made it hard to lift his eyelids. He managed to sit with support. The moment that the water bowl's cool rim touched his lips, he drank thirstily. Opening his eyes, he smiled at the vision before him. The man murmured and closed his eyes once more.

 

"Kaewta, am I dreaming again?"

 

Only heaven knew how much time slipped by, but Kaewta did not wake Saen after six hours as he had said he would. Instead, he let the other person sleep until the new dawn, while he sat against the opposite wall, periodically checking on the patient. Whenever the fever flared, he would soak a cloth and wipe the man down. After that, the injured man slept soundly. 

 

Until Saen stirred, showing signs of waking, Kaewta stood up, casting one last glance at the patient, and walked out. Saen watched the door close, shook his head, and rose to check on his master. Noticing that his face was healthier than the night before brought a smile to Saen's lips.

 

"Saen."

"You're awake, sir? Does your wound still hurt?"

 

"Um."

"I shall bring some water so you can wash your face."

 

"Last night, it seems I had a sweet dream again." 

 

The young noble remarked as Saen propped him up against the bed's headboard. His fine features had grown hollow, with a shadow of green stubble betraying days of leaving untended. Yet, that very roughness only sharpened his striking features, especially when the man offered the faintest of smiles; it only lent him an even rarer charm, so much so that Saen couldn't help but think, if the ladies of the city had seen his Khun Phra Nai as he appeared now, they would surely be lining up to care for him.

 

"A dream, sir? Or...could it be real?" But there was one exception who couldn't be counted as one of those ladies in the city; Saen smiled at his own thought.

 

"How could it be real? I've had the same dream night after night. The moment I wake, nothing but emptiness.

 

"In that case, you should run a fever again tonight," Saen grinned teasingly, then went off to bring food and medicine.

 

"Hmm?" Khun Phra Nai raised a brow in question with that remark. Another fever tonight? How could that be possible when his condition had already improved so much that he might even be able to return home tomorrow?

 

"Well now, Yai, how are you feeling?" Luang Sanor greeted the young noble with a wide beam when he saw the young man already up and changing clothes by himself.

 

"Much bett-"

 

"Oh? You're still in so much pain, are you?" Luang Sanor raised his voice so loud that it drowned out the young man's unfinished speech, leaving Khun Phra Nai's mouth hanging agape.

 

"Well, I.."

 

"Enough, enough. Lie down and rest. I shall have Saen bring you more medicine!" For reasons unknown, Luang Sanor's voice grew even louder as he spoke. The young man faltered; need he rest more?

 

"Ouch!" Without knowing why, Luang Sanor's cane was suddenly whirling through the air and cracked down on his knee, sending him crashing to the ground with a howl.

 

"Khun Phra Nai!" Saen, who went out for a food tray, eyes wild and scarcely able to keep the dishes from toppling over.

 

"Someone out there, come help Saen lift the patient!" Silence. No answer. Saen glanced up at Luang Sanor, then glanced at his master back and forth. 

 

"My back isn't all that good these days either.." No sooner had Luang Sanor finished than he smiled when he saw someone walk in. The patient's eyes burst wide, while Saen? ... He struggled to

suppress his laughter, scarcely managing to maintain a composed countenance.

 

The small hand caught hold of the gentleman's arm and drew it over his shoulder, lending him support as he rose from the floor and was guided toward the bed. The ache that had plagued his shoulder and knee mere moments before seemed to vanish without a trace, as though it had never been. Khun Phra Nai gazed, wide-eyed and unbelieving, at the face that had haunted his dreams day after day. Could it truly be you, Kaewta?

 

"I told you, sir, that you would surely run a fever tonight," Saen grinned thinly, lowering his voice to a whisper as he handed the medicine cup to the smaller figure once the figure had stepped aside.

 

"Oh." Khun Phra Nai smiled. Since that day, he had not had a chance to mend their understanding or confess the feelings that lay in his heart from the secret duty under investigation. Kaewta's tears excruciated him, and everything that forced Kaewta to cut his own hair stemmed from the man's own doing.

 

The more he saw Kaewta suffer, the more his heart was tortured. But to stop loving Kaewta was something he could not bring himself to do. Despite trying to resign, the more of their closeness, the smile, those eyes that stare at him, the greater he wished to love Kaewta, to save the youth from harm...

 

To prevent Kaewta from tears, even if it meant bearing all the pain himself.

....He only wished to love Kaewta. That was all...

 

"Ugh... it hurts!" The cry from the bed startled the person who had been resting against the wall, who scrambled over in alarm. His wound seemed to have come open; blood seeped into the bandage in a broad stain.

 

"Saen!" Kaewta shook the towering man's shoulder, rousing him to see his own master, even though Saen had only just fallen into slumber. Moments before, he had been the one tending to the patient until Kaewta had taken turns. Saen's eyes flew wide as he scrambled to fetch the medicine tray and fresh cloth.

 

"Blast it; we're out of medicine. Khun Kaew, please remove the bandage first, and I shall grind medicine more," Saen said, then dashed out.

 

Kaewta steadied the wounded man against the headboard, struggling to remove the blood-soaked wrappings while supporting his weight at the same time. What's more, the nobleman seemed still unconscious. The youth dabbed around the wound with a cloth dampened in warm water with great care, too attentive to notice that the wound was far too dry for blood to be seeping anew.

 

"Kaewta?" Those eyelids, once tightly closed, slowly flutter open. Pale iris stared steadily at the one before him. "Am I dreaming again?" The youth sat perfectly still, not daring to make a sound. In case the young gentleman was only delirious, he wouldn't be awakened to see that it was Kaewta in the flesh, not some figment of feverish dreams.

 

"I've missed you so terribly, Kaewta." His rough hand rose to caress that smooth cheek lightly. The warmth of that large palm sent Kaewta's heart into frantic beats. Kaewta's gaze dropped, too afraid to look up. That hesitation gave the man's prominent nose a chance to brush against his cheek. Startled, Kaewta turned, ready to protest, only to find his lips a mere breath away from the other's.

 

"Kaewta.. have you not missed me at all?" The boy went rigid, but Khun Phra Nai leaned in closer and pressed against the red lips of the one who had filled his thoughts for nearly a month in the absence of that face.

 

"Your lips are warm as if it's not a dream." The sculpted face drew back in a mere second before closing in again, but this time, Kaewta recoiled in alarm.

 

"Uh!" But the robust figure above him moved along with him. Kaewta attempted to pull away, yet lost his balance and fell onto the bed with the man hovering over him. One strong arm braced above his shapely head while the other continued to caress his cheek without pause.

 

The man's aristocratic nose came down softly on Kaewta's bare forehead. The young nobleman pulled back a little to meet the trembling onyx gaze of the one facing him. Thin brows knit as if questioning. Those crimson lips pressed tight in fear of being teased. The raven hair that once fell to mid-back was now barely shoulder-length. Since that day, this was the first time Khun Phra Nai had truly seen the youth up close, every detail calling forth a tide of longing.

 

"I've missed you so." Kaewta hesitated at those words. The frown between fine brows loosened as he looked into the other's eyes of a paler shade before pushing against the wounded shoulder, evoking a loud cry in pain that echoed through the chamber.

 

"Ow!" The nobleman winced violently, the sudden agony nearly sending him tumbling from the bed. Kaewta shoved him back, then rose to his feet, thoroughly incensed.

 

"Khun Phra Nai, Khun Kaew, what happened?!" Saen stumbled backwards once Kaewta flung the door open with all his might. When he asked, all that he received was just a furious glare from the diminutive youth who rammed Saen's shoulder so hard and strode off. 

 

"Did the wound truly tear open again, sir?" Saen raised an eyebrow in feigned alarm, prompting his master to return a stern look.

 

"Don't act clueless!" Khun Phra Nai hissed under his breath.

 

"Hmm, you've got caught, haven't you?" Saen teased as he set down the medicine tray and set about preparing the bandages.

 

"You scoundrel, Saen!" Though the voice to his subordinate was stern, that handsome face unfurled a broagrin-the first in so very long that Saen could only laugh in turn.

 

"What is it now, sir?"

 

"It seems I must return to my residence tomorrow. If I stayed here any longer, I'd rather be poisoned."

 

"So, what gave you away that he realised he was tricked, sir?"

 

"A kiss." The rough cheeks flushed, leaving Saen's eyes wide, and he gasped in disbelief.

 

"It couldn't have been just that, I suppose. Anyone would find it hard to believe a man with a delirious fever would pin his caretaker to the bed," Saen went on with his hands wrapping the bandage.

 

"You saw?"

"Yes, I did, sir. So did Luang Sanor."

 

".."

"Khun Phra Nai?" Saen called out to his master, who had gone as stiff as a stone.

 

"I'm heading... I'm heading home right now!" The young nobleman said as he rose hastily, reaching for his garments.

 

"Wait, sir! You can't leave right now! Please wait until tomorrow, Khun Phra Nai!!"

The din of their commotion did not reach the ears of the one still curled up in front of the pavilion hall because something inside of him pounded so fiercely it felt ready to leap from his chest. His cheeks burned aflame as though branded by fire. That husky voice whispering in his ear, the gaze, the heat of that kiss-all of it refused to fade until he could not help but lift a hand to touch his own lips.

 

What kind of fevered dreamer was this that had such strength to trap him so? Not to mention, every touch seemed deliberate and nothing like a man racked with illness. Had he known it would come to this, he would have battered that wound until it had bled!

 

Frustrated, the youth mussed his hair from being taken in by the taller man too easily.

His small hand trailed down to the shorn ends before slumping back against the railing, exhausted. Why was he so foolishly happy to see the other person like this?

He was no maiden; both of them knew it all too well, didn't they?

 

Yet what could he do when his heart hammered at the sight of that face and ached whenever that voice was absent? Even knowing how improper it was, how wrong it might be, his heart refused to comply; he could not stop the gladness that swelled within him just to see that man still smiling at him. Everything remained unchanged. He utterly had no control over himself.

 

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"Is he not here again today?" The mellow voice scolded sharply, causing every servant to hide their faces in trepidation. Only Nanny Yam remained unperturbed as she calmly answered the young lady, showing no hint of concern.

 

"I've told you already, haven't I? That Khun Yai has gone away on official duty. No one knows when he'll return."

 

"But it has been several days now, Nanny Yam. It's been nearly a month since I last saw him!"

 

"And why do you not seem to bother when you have not seen Khun Phrom for months as well? He's also been away for nearly a month."

 

"Nanny Yam!" Sophee snapped, though she dared not lift a hand against the senior maid, for her man loved Nanny Yam as though she were his own mother.

 

"Yes, my lady? I am standing this close. There is no need to shout."

 

"Hmph!" The young lady balled her fists, turned sharply, and stomped out of the house in a huff.

 

"No one has seen Khun Phra Nai at Khun Luang's residence at all, my lady."

 

"Is that true?"

"Yes."

"...Never mind."

 

"Phi Phrom." Sophee raised her hands in a wai to her second elder brother as he ascended the stairs. She intended to turn away without further inquiry, but stopped short upon noticing another tall, slender figure. "Phi!"

 

"Sophee, Phrom," the tall man greeted both younger sister and brother. Only Sophee broke into a smile, delighted to see him again at their house.

 

"Where have you been, Phi? I have not seen you in nearly a month. I was terribly worried."

 

"I was away for work." He replied briefly, prompting a displeased mutter from the other young man.

 

"And yet your own blood brother doesn't get a word from you, but you fuss over a person with no proper station instead!"

 

"Phi Phrom!" Sophee whirled on him and scolded as she curled the other man's arm tightly.

 

"I shall see Father first," The young nobleman said, prying her hands free before striding away with no further retort.

 

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Kaewta rolled his eyes heavenward in quiet exasperation yet did not slacken his pace. On the contrary, he even quickened it. The young noble, who had just recovered from his injuries less than a month ago, showed no regard for his condition. He didn't even wait until his wounds properly scabbed over before hauling himself off to the infirmary to wait for the lovely youth from being unable to bear the sound of his own heart. Besides, the little one kept avoiding him

and refused to speak.

 

"Oh, please, walk a little slower. If you keep this up, my wounds will be swollen again." The plaintive voice from the man behind made the young man halt.

 

"And who told you to follow me, sir?" Kaewta had only just returned from visiting his ailing mother. 

 

Upon entering the infirmary, he beheld the young noble already in attendance, all smiles as he conversed with the patient. Ye to turn on his heel and leave would surely have aroused suspicion, and so he had no choice but to seat himself across the room, hoping to escape his mother's notice.

 

Still, to sit there in such deathly silence, as though he might take root, would no doubt stir her awareness. Thus, he had promptly sent him away, dismissing him back to the residence, though his visit had lasted scarcely half an hour.

 

"If I didn't follow you, how was I to speak with you?"

 

"Then don't!"

 

"I must. I must speak!" The man insisted, yet those eyes twinkled with a teasing light.

 

"I have nothing to discuss with the esteemed Chao Men Samur Jairatch." The change of pronoun froze the young man. For all the times Kaewta might have been furious at him, never once had he addressed him with such cold detachment. "I thought Your Lordship had already understood everything."

 

"What would you expect me to understand, Kaewta?" He asked quietly.

 

"That... you were mistaken. You saw the truth with your own eyes, didn't you? That I am no woman. So why must you keep pestering me?"

 

"So you repulse me?" His sonorous voice trembled. "For I am a man?"

 

"For we are both men, sir. That's what makes it disgraceful.."

 

"Is the love that you find it disgraceful?"

"You!" Kaewta's eyes widened in disbelief. He had not expected the man to speak that word so blatantly.

 

"Do you truly not know how I feel about you? Do you really not know that I love you, Kaewta?"

 

The man drew closer, looking at the fair face now turned away as though refusing to hear what he had to say.

 

"And what worth is there in knowing?" Kaewta struggled to keep his voice steady, though his eyes stung and tears threatened to spill forth. "..It is not as though I love you in return." Yet no sooner had the words left his lips than his heart ached, as though it were being torn asunder.

 

"If you don't, then look me in the eye and say so." The taller man refused to yield. He could not believe that Kaewta had spoken his heart. Had the youth truly found him loathsome, he would never have allowed him near in the first place. Had he truly felt nothing in return, he would not now appear as though he were on the verge of weeping. And because those words were nought but falsehood, Kaewta could not lift his gaze to meet the one who stood before him.

 

"I love you, Kaewta." He reached out and clasped the youth's tremorous hand, holding it firm, as though to let Kaewta feel the leal of his heart that it would not waver, would never sway.

 

"But..." At last, Kaewta lifted his eyes to meet the soft-hued irises of the young noble.

 

"Even if you are not a woman but a man, still, my words stand." No sooner had he spoken than Khun Phra Nai abruptly pushed Kaewta away to dodge what came flying. 

 

The tall man drew his sword from its sheath in a swift motion, revealing the blade that had come between himself and Kaewta.

 

"Ah!" The slight form was shoved backwards and nearly stumbled. He was going to yell in protest, but was paralysed at the sight of a group of no fewer than five burly, masked men brandishing swords, striking mercilessly and restlessly, leaving no room to breathe upon the young nobleman with drawn swords, striking with fierce, unrelenting force, leaving scarcely a breath's space between each blow.

 

Kaewta, whom Khun Phra Nai had pushed to stay clear of the fray, retreated behind a large tree so as not to be a hindrance. He stood there, holding his breath in wonder; who would dare commit such an insolent act to attack Chao Muen Samur Jairatch of the royal court, with such total disregard for the law?

 

The tall figure raised his sword to block the blow before twisting away from another that came crashing down. But with too many opponents, the numerical imbalance left gaps in his defence. In the moment he stepped back to dodge a sword from behind, another blade thrust forward. Fortunately, he managed to turn in time with only a graze on his upper arm.

 

"Watch out, Khun Phra Nai!" One of the assailants, having waited for his chance, leapt at the wounded tall figure. As the young man raised his sword to deflect, yet another approached him from the side.

 

CLANG! The sharp collision of steel rang out when the newcomer arrived, drawing a relieved sigh from Kaewta. Saen dashed forward, intercepting the sword aimed at his master with pinpoint accuracy, then drove the attacker back. "Are you all right, sir?"

 

"Mm!" came the terse reply from the tall figure. Once the reinforcements arrived, it bolstered Khun Phra Nai's spirits. However, only in the next heartbeat, his heart nearly stopped, as one of the men surrounding him turned his sights on the one hiding behind the tree. "Kaewta!"

 

Khun Phra Nai immediately lunged toward Kaewta. Fortunately, the smaller figure was nimble enough to dodge the attacker's sword, but their foe had no intention of letting them flee so easily. Kaewta ducked and wove to evade the blade while Khun Phra Nai rushed in, determined to shield the youth. Still, assailants blocked his path without relenting, swords raised, forcing him to fight back with mounting agitation.

 

The group of five split into two flanks; two broke off to corner Saen, while the other two surrounded the noble and formed the group of three. One feigned, one lunged, and another slashed. The feinting attacker pulled away, allowing Khun Phra Nai a chance to parry the blow and counter, driving his blade through his enemy, sending them to collapse in a heap upon the ground. At that very moment, a sword rose high, ready to strike Kaewta once more.

 

"Kaewta!" SHKK! Crimson drops sprayed across the broad back that had thrown itself forward to shield the smaller figure. Pain surged through him, yet his concern triumphed over all else. The man held Kaewta tightly in his arms with the sword still gripped firmly in the other hand.

 

"I'm sorry for causing you such trouble." 

 

The youth shook his head to convey that he was unhurt. Right now, Kaewta was so worried about Khun Phra Nai from bleeding so much that they sent the thick, acrid scent through the air enough to shake him. He cast a glance toward Saen, who seemed to have subdued his two opponents. Now, Saen was turning to strike at the other pair surrounding Khun Phra Nai. Kaewta supported the taller figure and helped him retreat from the fight.

 

"Khun Kaew, take Khun Phra Nai and run!" Saen gave a sharp demand. The moment he had seen his master get slashed, he'd cut down all in his path just to get there like mad.

 

"But..." Kaewta hesitated, seeing how struggling Saen was to handle himself.

 

"Go, now!" Saen bellowed again.

 

"Saen will be fine-trust me," the tall figure said to the person holding him. Then he raised his voice to his retainer. Do not let any soul who dares harm Kaewta leave this place alive!"

 

"Aye, sir!" Saen responded, throwing himself between his master and their pursuers. If it meant laying down his life, he would protect Khun Phra Nai and Khun Kaewta, whatever the cost.