I Feel You Linger In The Air

Chapter 31 - Pledge

I gape at Han Lueang, who leaves with Han Kaew's dagger sheathed at his waist, my heart pounding in terror. It wasn't a threat. Everything in Han Lueang's eyes and manner told me he would do it. Tonight, he will come back and stab my chest with that dagger.

Time passes by with fright, and my nerves increasingly tense up. Clouds gather again, even though it already rained in the evening. The roaring thunder and the occasional flash of lightning foreshadow another downpour. I try to think of my escape plan, even though it's nonexistent. They halt at the edge of the field near a village. 

The villagers' houses are visible and reachable in the distance. Princess Amphan's entourage either sets tents or sleeps in the carts as usual, whereas King Kham's soldiers are divided into two groups. San Fahkum and a bunch of cavalry officers take shelter in the villagers' places at the edge of the field. They probably pay for the stay or are acquainted with the villagers.

The rest of King Kham's soldiers remain at the temporary camp with the Seehasingkornian entourage's carts to guard and keep watch over them. I am isolated from everyone as a prisoner. I have no right to converse with anyone.

"Soldier, may I ask you for a favour?" I call a soldier of King Kham ambling by. "I would like to see San Fahkum. I have something important to inform him."

San Fahkum is my only hope. If he knows Han Lueang's plan, there is a chance he will stop him.

The soldier turns to me. He spits on the ground in contempt. "Ptui! Is it my job to send a prisoner's message to San Fahkum? If you so much as speak another word, I will tie you to a pole in the middle of the field and leave you there in the rain until morning."

I watch him walking away, my heart awfully apprehensive. Ever since Han Lueang threatened me, it's been about 2 or 3 hours. I glance up at the sky. A clump of thick clouds shrouds the moon, letting only the dim light shine through. A clap of thunder after lightning startles me. I decide to shout out when I see a sentry looking for shelter from the rain a short distance away.

"Soldier, could you hang a lantern over here?"

He turns to me with a deadpan face. A weirdly sly grin spreads on his face. Chills run down my spine...This man is in on Han Lueang's plan!

He leaves without a word. This much is enough for me to grasp that he intentionally gives Han Lueang an opportunity to kill me while the others are asleep. I pull my knees to my chest and drape my arms around them, keeping my distance from the door, staring outside in anxiety. The cart I am locked up in has a sloping roof on both sides, with bars and a grid door at the rear. The drizzle only makes the atmosphere more forbidding.

This is the most frightening moment in my life. I never thought I would encounter this kind of situation. I never imagined I would be killed by a slit in the throat or a stab in my body by a sharp weapon. I have no idea when Han Lueang will return. When he turns up, it will be the death of me.

My heart sinks. I widen my eyes in a panic as I spot a male figure appearing in the dark, a few steps away from the door. He is dressed in all black, his face masked in a black cloth below his eyes. He stands in the rain and locks his eyes on me.

"Jom," he says before I can scream in fear. I freeze, my heart almost stopping. I recognise his voice. Even if it is only one word, I recognise it!

"Commander Yai!" I lunge to the bars and clutch them. "How did you get here?"

I am both happy and confused. Isn't he supposed to be with the Seehasingkorn troop journeying back to his hometown?

"I was waiting in the woods for a chance to come to you," he answers. "Our soldier who disguised himself in the group of servants snuck out and informed me that he heard Han Lueang would kill you tonight."

I quiver. Despite knowing Han Lueang's plan, the confirmation from Commander Yai reminds me that my life is hanging by a thread.

"Are you going to take me away?" I sputter. "If you do that, will Seehasingkorn be at fault? King Kham's soldiers will assume you've snuck me out."

"I'm not taking you away," he says in a stern voice. "I will hide beside the cart. If Han Lueang shows up to end your life, I will draw blood out of him with my swords."

"Why are you here alone?" I flick my eyes left and right. "Are the others hiding in the woods?"

He shakes his head. "Jom, this is no one else's business. It's about you and me. If fate has me falling to my death, my life will be the only one ending."

"Commander Yai, don't say that!" I pipe.

Commander Yai exhales a deep sigh. "Jom-Jao, fear not. Death is to be kept in mind 

of a soldier, for a warrior can't afford to be afraid. I will keep watch nearby. Pull yourself together, Poh-Jom. As long as I'm here, no one can lay even a finger on you."

I can't get a word out. Commander Yai hides at the side of the cart. My heart wishes to tell him to leave and not protect me, but my lips tremble so much that I can't say anything. Some time has passed in the drizzle. I try to get it together and suppress this fear clinging to my heart. Finally, I can talk.

"Commander Yai, I doubt I will last until morning. Though Han Lueang doesn't come to kill me, I might disappear before then."

"I'll see you off."

His voice is firm and steady, and it somehow calms my nerves. It spreads warmth in my heart. He must be planning to stay with me until that time comes. Without a sign of breaking or destroying the shackles, I will simply vanish, or I might disappear in front of everyone tomorrow, leaving only astonishment and a story of the magical miracle to pass on.

The wind grows stronger. I move close to the wall. Commander Yai is hiding on the other side. I place my hand on it and whisper.

"Are you cold, Commander Yai?"

"This rain feels like nothing on my skin. My heart is freshened by the thought that Poh-Jom is leaning on the wall beside me."

My face twists. I am unsure if I want to smile or cry. Commander Yai is my emotional support even in this horrible situation. I sniff, holding back my tears.

"Are you crying?"

I remain quiet, not daring to answer, as I am afraid I will cry. Commander Yai returns to the front of the grid door. The overcast, rainy sky obscures his figure from everyone's eyes.

"Are you scared?" he asks gently. I nod.

"Han Lueang will never get to you. I've told you."

I can't hold it anymore. I have tried my best to stay strong as long as possible, but there is a limit to what I can shoulder. Tears trickle down my cheeks. My voice is uncontrollably shaking.

"I'm afraid of something else. I'm afraid I will never see you again. I'm afraid something will happen to you. I'm afraid the fog will take me away from you forever. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm scared of everything."

"Jom-Jao, come closer to me."

I shift forward as told. Commander Yai slips my hand through the bars and touches my face. His palm is cold from the rain but still firm and reliable as always.

"Jom-Jao, listen, though you are fated to be apart from me, my love will never fade, and it will follow you like a holy spirit, protecting you in my place. No matter where fate brings you, no matter the danger you encounter, may those misfortunes fall upon my spirit instead of yours."

I sob, "I love you, Commander Yai. You know that, right?"

"Why wouldn't I know the feelings in your heart? Don't cry. Now, listen carefully."

Commander Yai withdraws his hand from my cheek. He takes his ring off his finger and puts it on mine. It is the lion-head ring, the meaning of Seehasingkorn. The lion holds a misty gemstone between its fangs. This is the ring Commander Yai once told me that Prince Seeharaj rewarded him in his honour.

"I'm giving you this ring to remind you that my heart will belong to no one else."

Commander Yai folds his hands over his chest, his voice firm and clear, showing his resolution.

"I, Commander Yai, swear by all that is holy that I will love only Poh-Jom in all lifetimes. I will fall for you in our first encounter, and I will never doubt my love for you."

The tears I have been trying to hold back keep falling. I squeeze his hand, clutching it as if it is the last thing in my life I can hold on to. My voice falters from the sob.

"If there is indeed all that is holy, if I continue to live and don't disintegrate, if there will be another chance I reunite with Commander Yai, I hope we don't forget each other. I hope we recognise one another. I hope we recall everything we have shared in all lifetimes. I hope my wish comes true."

Commander Yai smiles at me. "May your wish be granted. I will live by my honour and pledge, holding it fast as my life. I pray Poh-Jom lives on."

I give him a teary smile, feeling happy and devastated at the same time. I want to hug him, but can't. All I can do is hold his hand through the bars.

Rain pours down. Commander Yai returns to his hiding spot. I lean against the wall on that side and wait to see what will transpire. Han Lueang finally shows up. He stands in front of the grid door like the God of Death, Han Kaew's dagger hooked at his waist. My heart thumps when Han Lueang unbolts the door. I curl up in my place, not moving. Lightning flashes, and I see Han Lueang drawing the dagger and staring at me with malice. He steps inside and raises his arm in the position to stab me.

SLASH!

"Ahhh!!!"

A blade swings down from the side of the cart. I jump as Han Lueang screams in pain. His fingers, amputated, fly off. The dagger falls on the ground with three fingers rolling nearby.

"Step back," Commander Yai demands in a hostile voice. "If not, your head will be cut off like your fingers."

Han Lueang holds his hand, flabbergasted. Blood gushed from the missing fingers, painting his palm crimson.

"Who are you?!" he barks.

"I said, step back." Commander Yai points his sword at Han Lueang.

Han Lueang retreats from the cart, shouting to his comrades to let them know what is happening. King Kham's soldiers appear and advance towards us. Han Lueang stares daggers at Commander Yai and bellows.

"A bandit! Take him!"

King Kham's soldiers shuffle in. Commander Yai wields his dual swords skillfully in both hands. Each slash leaves severe gashes on his enemies. Blood spurts out from the torn flesh. Human parts are scattered in the rain puddles. Commander Yai holds his ground in front of my prison, shielding it from whoever comes close, especially Han Lueang, who might find a chance during the commotion to kill me. Han Lueand has lost his fingers and a dozen infantrymen. There is no way he will let me and Commander Yai survive so easily.

Commander Yai's both hands swing his swords against the weapons, aiming to take his life. The terrifying clang of metal crashing reverberates continuously. King Kham's soldiers collapse on the ground. Some groan, but some lie still, becoming dead bodies without heads. I cover my mouth with my hands, my eyes widening at the sight before me in terror.

Nonetheless, a fight between one person and dozens of men is impossible for Commander Yai to avoid taking a blow. I bite my arm hard to mute my voice when the sword of a soldier of King Kham lacerates Commander Yai's shoulder. Scarlet blood spouts, showering that side of his body. Commander Yai pushes the blade off, but it leaves a deep gash on him.

Thunder rumbles overhead, and lightning strikes with a deafening crack, shaking the ground. It flashes across the sky. Commander Yai stands his ground and battles against King Kham's soldiers charging in. The flinging sharp blades, though not fatal blows, slice and cut his flesh, drawing blood out all over his body. Even so, Commander Yai keeps on fighting, not moving away. The stream of his blood mixes with that of King Kham's dead soldiers, colouring the puddles red.

My whole body shivers. How long will he be able to fight? Commander Yai's combat skills are superior to King Kham's soldiers. He can break through them if he wants...but he won't!

Sobbing, I tremble and curl up in the cart as the fight continues. The sound of people and horses galloping echoes across the land from the village. My heart sinks. My body freezes in utmost fear. That must be the sound of the cavalry and San Fahkum, the group taking shelter in the houses by the edge of the field. If San Fahkum reaches here and rallies all the soldiers, Commander Yai will die!

Tears run down my face. I lunge to the open grid door and get soaked in the crushing downpour.

...Then I see the fog.

It assembles in the rain, not related to or part of nature. White fog swirls low above the ground and thickens into a smoky carpet floating towards my cart. It doesn't seem to affect the surroundings except me.

In a few seconds, the fog envelops where I am. It pins me in place, peculiarly pushing and pulling at the same time, the way it happened at the Rubber Tree Road, back when I stood there in B.E. 2471.

In the rainstorm, I utter in a raspy voice.

"Commander...Yai."

Commander Yai throws a glance at me, his eyes widening at the fog engulfing me. The second our eyes meet, though no word is exchanged and his face is half-masked, his eyes clearly convey what is on his mind. Commander Yai turns around...He has nothing to worry about anymore.

A bolt of lightning strikes the trees at the edge of the field and sets the tops ablaze. The rain plummets vigorously. My body is controlled by the fog as it carries me to wherever it desires. The last thing I see is Commander Yai charging into the encircling soldiers. He sweeps his swords as he breaks through. King Kham's soldiers drop dead like fallen leaves while my body is yanked up, my feet lifting above the ground. Everything is gone. The scene before me vanishes.

The world after that is a pitch-black one. I curl up like a baby and sob in silence, my body heaving. There is no sound or light in this place. Everything is still as if I am in the lifeless abyss. I float motionlessly, feeling like my life is torn apart. Tears continue to flow out of my eyes, though I have no idea if they instantly evaporate or drift away in droplets around me.

This is the first time I think death is not scary. If death is the end of everything, maybe that is good for me. I have nothing left. There is nothing I wish to do or be. No matter where fate brings you, no matter the danger you encounter, may those misfortunes fall upon my spirit instead of yours…

Those two voices are surprisingly soothing. I get a hold of myself again and, with the last of my strength, soar in the opposite direction of where my body is sinking. I can't make it to the surface. My body forces me to take a breath. I gulp water into my lungs and choke violently. My chest hurts as if I have swallowed a thousand needles. The pain resumes for a few seconds. My brain jerks like it gets an electric shock. And I black out.