I Feel You Linger In The Air

Chapter 22 - Dig a Hole to Catch the Commander

At daybreak, I open my eyes in a luggage cart. Captain Mun is next to me, snoring softly, sprawling. It is more comfortable to sleep on a cart than in Commander Yai's tent because I can roll around as much as I want. The worst would be bumping into the other guy, but then I could just shift. Still, I can't help thinking of the warmth from the candlelight and Commander Yai praying under his breath.

I get out of the cart, trying not to wake up Captain Mun. The dim orange light paints the horizon. Soon, the sun will rise over the line of trees. If it were the past few days, everyone would have been up and prepared to resume the journey in the late morning. But today, only the cooks are up to make breakfast.

I wobble to the other side of the grassland, where the small stream cuts past. I am not yet fully awake, but I need some time alone to think. The water in the stream is cool. I wash up to freshen up while thinking of last night. I remember I sat by the fire with the soldiers and drank some booze, enough for my mind to run wild. Enough to have a wild daydream.

It was the result of the alcohol and the weirdly romantic atmosphere. My mind went wild to the point that I imagined I heard two verses by Suthorn Phu recited to the music. I didn't hesitate to grab that bittersweetness and put it into my heart, to console myself, not to dwell on the feeling of longing. I gazed at Commander Yai for half the night, my mind capturing the sight before me and arranging it with the heartwarming images of Khun-Yai and me in the past. The worst part is, I got so bold as to even think about hitting on Commander Yai.

I rub my face and groan softly in my throat. If Commander Yai found out, would he whip me on the ground in front of everyone? For what reason? For having the nerve to flirt with the Seehasingkorian commander? I can't imagine if Captain Mun would stab his stomach to stop himself from bursting out laughing, not to mention Commander In. He would crack the cheeky grin until the end of the world.

I stand up and hesitate whether to chill out here or go back to the cart Captain Mun is sleeping on. But then, I hear a noise from one side of the grassland. I feel reluctant before choosing to walk to the source of the sound. It is Commander Yai. He is practising sword fighting in the field, showered in the orange sunlight, with a strawman tied to a wooden pole as his sparring partner. Commander Yai moves his body swiftly, wielding his dual swords as though dancing. The blades swish through the strawman, sending the straw flying in the air and falling on the fluttering grass.

I stare at him, enchanted. Commander Yai looks stunning and powerful. His muscles are like those of a statue, with a firm chest, broad back, and V-cut abs. Good thing he wears a drawn-up cloth tied in a tight knot, so I can admire the muscles of his thighs without getting distracted by something else. When the sparring partner has become the scattering straw, Commander Yai stops. He wipes the sweat off his face and flicks his eyes to mine.

I tense up, cursing myself for getting so absorbed in staring at him that I forgot to hide and sneak a peek, not standing in the open like a fool and getting caught like this. I struggle to make up an excuse.

"I'm here to wash up." I point in the direction of the stream. Ignoring my excuse, Commander Yai approaches me. I gulp when he stops before me a few steps away.

"Were you peeping at me?" His voice is low and hoarse.

Actually, I have been watching him since yesterday and hoping he wouldn't notice. I divert my eyes, avoiding his gaze, thinking of a reason to support my action. "I'm interested in the art of fighting. Swords, spears, arrows, I like them all. When I saw you practising, I couldn't help but watch."

The low chuckle in Commander Yai's throat draws my eyes back to his face. His lips curl up.

"You're into the art of fighting? You look like you emerged from under a lotus and never once touched a weapon. But if you're capable of casting spells, deception, or ambushing, I won't be surprised."

My heart falters. Why is he giving me that smile? Even if it is half-scornful, it affects my feelings so much. And those words. Would he just choose whether to compliment or insult me? It was like he meant I had nice, fair skin, but looked deceitful and not to be trusted. My head is foggy right now. I can't process complicated things.

"You're underestimating me too much. I might not be brawny like all of you, but I'm not weak. I used to learn swordplay."

It is true. Back in high school, it was one of the subjects in P.E.

Commander Yai raises his hand, and my heart sinks when he flicks his wrist to flip the sword. I gasp when he stabs the ground in front of me with it.

"I hope to witness it for once. Would you bless my eyes with your swordplay?"

It sounds like a request, but his expression and voice state it as a forceful command. I land my gaze on the long sword in front of me in a panic...Seriously? Is he commanding me to show my fighting skills with a sword? 

Ugh...And that is a real sword. I have no idea if it has slit anyone's throat or pierced through someone's stomach. I swallow and eye it nervously before lifting my gaze at him. Commander Yai locks his eyes on me. I guess I have to show him for real if I don't want him to believe I was peeping for a while to admire his body, and that I am not into the art of any kind of fighting.

"Sure," I say. I pray to Mr Polawat, who taught swordplay, and try to recollect the old information regarding the moves.

Holding my breath, I pull out Commander Yai's sword, grip it in my hand, and get into the fighting stance as I have learned. I remember some, fortunately. I adjust my posture to the basic stance. I put my thumb and index finger together over my chest and step forward. I take a step, bring my other foot alongside the lead foot, and raise the sword. It looks awkward at first, but I improve my moves a moment later. I show him my footwork and strike my lethal move.

I grab, put my thumb and index finger together, close the step, jab, stab! Commander Yai is speechless for a second, then asks in an off-tone voice, "Where's your school?"

His disposition maddens me. Is he disrespecting my school? I was a student of a teacher. Even if Mr Polawat was a P.E. teacher rather than a commander, he taught his students earnestly and was always generous in grading. If he has to blame someone, just blame me for being good at drawing and sucking at this. I tell him the name of my high school. He shakes his head. "Never heard of it. Does it still stand?"

"What do you mean by that, Commander Yai?"

Commander can't hold his smile anymore. He points at my chest and says, "If your swordplay is this shitty, will your whole school not perish in battle? Don't go and fight anyone just to get killed." He seizes the sword back from my hand and walks away, leaving me seething in the middle of the grassland.

In the late morning, they sent some servants to get more supplies. I don't go to the village this time as Captain Mun needs to guard the camp. He grumbles that he has lost the chance to court women in the market, and that he will be lonely for days and might end up losing it and wed a monkey.

In the evening, once they have finished packing the supplies for the trip, it is time for recreation. Tonight, they don't drink around the fire like they did the other night because the journey continues tomorrow morning. And so, they do another activity. They play a game. It is a fighting game that requires especially strong players. They are divided into two teams of ten each. Each team will tie the strips of particular colours to their upper arms. 

There are two high wooden poles with flags of the teams' colours hanging up there. The team that reaches the pole and first snatches the other team's flag wins. For fairness's sake, Commander Yai and Commander In will protect the flag poles of different teams. The game starts in excitement. It is a thrilling, harmless tussle. Both teams charge at one another and wrestle with vigour to rip the strips off each other's upper arms. Those who lose their strips are eliminated immediately. The team that gains more strips has a higher chance of successfully retrieving the flag at the pole.

This is freaking fun! The scuffling sound and the continuous roar reverberate. Dust puffs in the air from the fight. The grassland is filled with the sound of cheering. We holler with a thrill every time someone yanks a strip of the enemy's arm. Each team gradually loses its members. Eventually, only two people are left. If one of them gets the strip first, he will run to the flag pole of the other team, with the flag keeper of the same team joining in to help.

The spectators whoop when both of them yank each other's strips off at the same time. It means both teams have lost all teammates, and the game ends in a tie. None wins or loses. Nonetheless, Commander Yai refuses to end here. He grabs the flag pole of his team and hurls it to spike the earth in the middle of the battleground, challenging Commander In to come and get it. Commander In barks a booming laugh before clasping his flag pole and flinging it to the side of the other.

Both commanders charge at each other and wrestle away, kicking up dust and not letting the others get a hold of their flags. The cheer is roisterous as if we are watching the fight between a tiger and a bear. You can guess who I am rooting for, right? I clap and shout Commander Yai's name with no shame at how weird it looks for me to cheer for the man who has been treating me coldly.

The sight before my eyes pushes me to ask Captain Mun, "Commander Yai and Commander In don't look similar at all."

"Understandable," Captain Mun's eyes fix on the tangling fight. "Commander Yai is the child of the second wife, and Commander In the first."

"Hmm...?" My eyes widen in curiosity. After some explanation from Captain Mun, I finally understand. Commander Yai and Commander In share a father. Commander In's mother had been married to his father for years but failed to bear a child. At last, she allowed her husband to bring in a mistress who eventually gave birth to the first son, Commander Yai. However, a year after the birth of Commander Yai, the first and second wives got pregnant at the same time.

Commander In's mother passed away two days after giving birth. The second wife, who recently bore a baby girl, Commander Yai's sister, felt terribly sorry for the motherless child and asked for permission to raise Commander In and breastfeed him. Thus, she is both his stepmother and wet nurse. No surprise these two siblings, born to different mothers, are close to each other. They were raised together side by side.

Well, it is rather odd that both my lovers are brothers in this period, but they don't relate to each other whatsoever, just two people living in the same city. I stare at Commander Yai. He seems truly entertained by the game. His lips part into a bright smile, and it reminds me of the time he smiled at me. I know I'm about to daydream again, though I haven't sipped a drop of alcohol....How inappropriate. 

They are fighting zealously while my mind wanders to his plump, kissable lips that were soft and moist when our lips touched. I recall the sweet words Khun-Yai showered me with. No matter where fate pulls a trick and tosses me, his love words remain engraved in my heart. I think of our conversation, I remember clearly.

'When did you start loving me..? Was it love at first sight?'

"Not quite. It felt like I had loved you for a long time. I knew I loved you before I met you that day: I freeze at the memory. Hold up..He loved me even before he met me.

Astonishment rushes all over my body. What if those weren't simply romantic words of a person in love? What if they came from the true feelings in his heart, and the meaning was literal? Khun-Yai had a deep attachment to me even before we met. That explained why he seemed stunned when my boat glided past the waterfront pavilion for the first time!

This may be my desperation, my struggle to fight against the disappointment, my inability to endure the situation I have been put into without options, and so my seeking an explanation to support it. Regardless, I can't stop my thoughts.

My whole body gets goosebumps as I mull over the belief in reincarnation that has been passed down from our great-grandparents' generation. Khun-Yai could have loved me during this period, when he was Commander Yai, and carried this love into another lifetime. Is a soul an indestructible energy like all matter? I don't have the answer to that. But, at this second, I consider another explanation. It is the potential possibilities of our decision. Our actions and decisions today directly affect our future.

It is based on the theory of quantum parallel universes, an unproven hypothesis in quantum physics. It states that every second our actions require decision making-to turn left or right, to keep going or stop, or even to pick a dish for a meal-the consequences will be different each time we decide. If Commander Yai in this era loves me, it will possibly impact Khun-Yai in B.E. 2470 to love me as well.

I might be out of my mind to come up with such a conclusion, but I don't fully believe the theory about how parallel universes are entirely separated. If my cat got bitten to death by a dog this evening, and I travelled back in time to kill the dog in the morning before the incident, the dog I had killed might be a different one from the dog that would bite my cat in the evening. It would create a parallel universe where my cat would survive.

But I can't take it anymore. If there are tens of millions of versions of the parallel universes to be created from this second, I want all of them to lead to Khun-Yai in B.E. 2470 loving me. At least I want to increase the chances as much as possible. I can't stand the thought of him looking past me without a hint of recollection, of him having no interest in me, and never attempting to bring us close and be in love.

This is the hope I will hold on to. Whether the theory of quantum parallel universes and the belief of reincarnation are real or nonsense, the truthful thing of it all is my love for him, and it is powerful enough to drive me to make up my mind about my next move.

I stare at Commander Yai and Commander In, wrestling on the ground, neither willing to surrender, my heart filled with this immense ambition. Commander Yai will steal your heart.

In the late morning of the next day, we depart from Baan Thung Hin. I stride across the road bordered with grasslands towards the edge of the woods and the great mountains before us. The sunlight today is bright and gusty. The wind blows the grass on the sides and sends leaves and white cotton from the stems of some plants flying through the air. Maybe kapok or pussy willow.

I look up at the cloudy sky, wondering what the date is. Ever since I came here, I have been a blind man with no clear perception of anything. Judging from the trees shedding leaves and the morning air that isn't as cool as the first days I got thrown here, I assume I am in the transition from winter to summer. Perhaps it is February. Ha... I have no one to hold hands with this month of love.

I can't help craning my neck forward to hopefully catch a glimpse of someone riding a horse by. Since morning, I had seen Commander Yai once, when he gave everything a final check before the procession started. I will supposedly see him again at noon or in the afternoon or watch him from afar in the evening. This is not okay. 

My unrequited love for him is sad. This passive approach is getting me nowhere. I need to be more proactive. I need to find a way to be closer to him. If I sit back, smile, and shoot flirtatious eyes at him from a distance, this lifetime will be over before I know it. But since I don't know much about Commander Yai, I have to probe for more information at once. If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.

I take the opportunity during the afternoon break and subtly interrogate Captain Mun, my only source of information. 

"Um...Captain Mun, do you happen to know what Commander Yai favours?"

Captain Mun gives me a weird look. "I'm not his wife. How in the world would I know?"

"Huh...? What?" My face goes pale, my heart dropping on the ground. "Does he have a wife?"

"No." Captain Mun shakes his head. "Why do you ask?"

Damn, Captain Mun. He just gave me a heart attack. Luckily, the answer is not horrible. 

"Nothing. Well, Commander Yai kindly freed me from the shackles, so I want to repay him."

Captain Mun thinks for a brief moment and replies, "Besides selecting and training soldiers, I have never seen him take an interest in anything."

"Selecting soldiers.." I mumble, contemplating. Is it like enlistment? What do they do? Is there a physical fitness test or something like that? "How does he select them, Captain Mun?"

"He groups them and has them spar each other."

That's too much. Given my swordplay, I doubt Commander Yai would select me to join his army. And I don't want to spar with anyone. I shake my head and mutter, "You all seriously love to fight, huh?"

"How odd of you to say that. Who would fight if not necessary?"

Seeing me blinking stupidly, he explains, "Our city is not peaceful, Ai-Jom. Though we have submitted to His Majesty King Kham of Chiang Mai, we are far from trusting each other. And we are yet to find out if the Ayutthaya Kingdom is our ally or enemy. If one day they march the army to take our city and Chiang Mai in succession, we will be left with no choice but to die for our homeland."

I am astounded by the new information crashing into me out of nowhere. He just said the Ayutthaya Kingdom...The Ayutthaya Kingdom! My heart drums so fast it nearly pops out of my chest. Does this mean Seehasingkorn adjoin the Ayutthaya

Kingdom? Is that why they are scared their city will be attacked and taken over by them? What time am I in the Ayutthaya Period? I have no idea what time King Kham, the ruler of Chiang Mai, reigned compared with the Ayutthaya Period.

I squeeze my hands, trying to keep my emotions and voice steady. "Are you saying Seehasingkorn is on good terms with Chiang Mai but holds enmity towards the Ayutthaya Kingdom? Is that so?"

"What kind of good terms were expressed with victimisation?" Captain Mun scoffs, his expression and eyes clouded. "Seehasingkorn was taken over by Chiang Mai back when Chiang Mai had refused to submit to Hansawadee and decided to be independent. His Majesty King Kham planned to expand his power, so he marched his army to take Seehasingkorn. We have been seized by them since then."

"Did Commander Yai lose in the battle?" I blurt.

"No," Captain Mun lowers his voice. 

"Commander Yai wasn't a soldier back then. The father of His Royal Highness Prince Seeharaj led the army himself and was killed by a scythe on his elephant. Having achieved victory, His Majesty King Kham made His Royal Highness Prince Seeharaj the ruler of Seehasingkorn. We have to send tribute to Chiang Mai thrice a year. It has been three years."

I look at Captain Mun clenching his jaw, sympathetic with them. I was born in an era where countries wage economic warfare, not annexing others with real war. Captain Mun senses the sympathetic anger in my eyes. He continues. "I am truly distressed. Half of what we harvest must be delivered to them. Worse, they demanded that the two sisters of His Royal Highness must offer themselves to His Majesty King Kham. However, the health of Her Royal Highness Princess Amphan is not in good condition, as the frigid weather in Chiang Mai caused pain in Her Royal Highness' chest. His Majesty King Kham stated his command to send Her Royal Highness back to Seehasingkorn to recover, leaving Her Royal Highness Princess Duean Klum there."

As a hostage, huh? I glance at the white long-handled umbrella in the distance. Despite the nobility, the princess suffers in a way commoners like us will never experience. She can't decide on the path of her own life. Everything depends on the good of her city.

"Why send both? Couldn't His Royal Highness send one?" Captain Mun snarls, "They feared Seehasingkorn would betray them by forming an alliance with the

Ayutthaya Kingdom and offering one princess to the King of Ayutthaya."

"And you have to follow their orders like this?" My voice cracks.

"What can we do?" Captain Mun fumes. 

"Think with your toe. If we resisted and another attack came, wouldn't our city be demolished? Our army is not ready. We have to endure it for the time being, but not for long, Ai-Jom. Our trip to Chiang Mai this time has shown us the capacity of their army. Once Commander Yai strengthens our army and prepares enough elephants, horses, and wheels, and once His Royal Highness delivers his order, we will."

He pauses, realising he has spoken too much. Captain Mun clears his throat and acts annoyed. "What's with all these questions? Look...The commander is telling us to get prepared. If you dawdle and get shackled again, I will laugh at your face."

I quicken my pace after Captain without another word, though my mouth is itching to ask more. So, I haven't gained many personal facts about Commander Yai today, but the other information is worth it. Now I am confident that I have travelled back to the Ayutthaya Period. The year is unspecified, though. The reason I don't know Seehasingkorn might be my shallow knowledge of history. Or perhaps Seehasingkorn is a small city that has never appeared in any historical records, like many provinces in Thailand, hardly mentioned in the records.

The story Captain Mun unintentionally revealed in fury changed my view about Commander Yai in a positive way. He is not an emotionless rock without a heart. He needs to be strict due to the burdens of the city he carries on his shoulders, so he can't afford to lower his guard and fool around. I take back what I said about how ferocious he was, like a wild dog.

I crane my neck over the rows of soldiers to the front, but all I see is the back of the carts of the female royal attendants. Commander Yai must be riding his horse over there to keep things in order. I think of his determined eyes and the small smile occasionally appearing when he feels pleased. If I can do something for him, I will.

In the evening, we camp in the woods. It will seemingly be like this for several nights. While I eat next to Captain Mun, an idea pops up in my head. I sweep my eyes over each dish of this meal. Salted beef, chilli paste, fresh and boiled vegetables. These dishes are simple and downright homely. We are sometimes served special menus, such as simple grilled fish curry in banana leaves, spicy cooked minced meat salad with roasted rice and herbs, banana blossom soup, or taro soup, indeed. Still, they taste good but aren't beautiful or delicate. I set my plate and turn to Captain Mun. 

"Captain Mun, do you know Commander Yai's favourite food?"

"I usually see him eat everything. We're soldiers. How picky can we be? We're fine with taros and potatoes."

That's right. But if there are delicious dishes that are pleasant to your eyes and on your tongue, who won't love them? I am not a good cook, but I believe in the Verse of Food and Dessert, and in what I witnessed while I waited in the kitchen to deliver Khun-Yai's meals to the little house each day.

The plan in my head is taking shape. I will not go as far as to make stuffed flower-shaped dumplings or rice noodles in fish curry sauce. However, Commander Yai will get to taste the sweet mango sticky rice, refreshing watermelon with sweet dried fish flakes, and the killer menu I wish to successfully make: Run Juan curry that will make Commander Yai yearn for more after a taste. The way to one's heart is through their stomach.

I take a deep breath with ambition and determination. "Captain, will it be all right if I lend the cooks a hand? I want to help out, not just eat and sleep without doing anything."

Captain Mun responds with a face and eyes that say, 'Whatever.'

After the meal, I head to the cooks. There are both men and women. When I express my intention, a chubby woman and a man step away to discuss something in whispers. They seem to have the power to decide on kitchen matters. Soon, the man comes to me.

"You can do anything aside from cooking."

"Oh...Why?"

"This kind of thing must be carried out by skilled cooks. Most are women."

After a few seconds, I understand. They are afraid I will poison the food. As I am neither an outsider nor an insider, they don't trust me enough to cook for the others.

"You can help us butcher the animals." He pouts toward the animal cages. I turn my head. One has a living chicken, and another one has a rabbit. I gulp and force a smile. "Is there anything else I can help with?"

A few minutes later, I trudge back out, feeling bummed. My plan to steal his heart with food inevitably falls through. Plus, I have to help them chop wood tomorrow because I can't bring myself to kill the chicken or skin the rabbit.

Before I reach the area where Captain Mun is building a fire, I spot Commander Yai heading out of his tent in the other direction. He is topless. I look up at the sky, now dark and starry, and it strikes me...Right, Commander Yai is going to bathe!

Hmm...The chance emerges out of nowhere!

I march towards the cart where I keep my clothes and fumble for the clean ones, afraid I won't be able to catch up with Commander Yai. I don't have that many chances to chat with him, so I can't miss it. When I have found the new set of clothes, I shout to Captain Mun.

"Captain Mun, I'll go bathe." Then, I sprint as though being chased by a buffalo in the direction Commander Yai has gone. I am not

scared to be lost, as I have seen the others heading this way. There must be a pond or a river, since they always choose to camp near natural water sources.

After a few meters, I hear conversations. I follow the sound and soon stumble upon the broad stream winding down from the mountain. A group of servants is scrubbing their bodies and chattering away. I take a quick look because I have no desire to observe anyone's things, but Commander Yai is not present there. I suppose he wants to soak his body in silence alone.

I weigh in my mind which way to go. Down or up the stream? i decider to go upstream. If it were me, I would go there. I finally saw him. Commander Yai swims by himself, submerging under the water like a fish, a huge and remarkably strong one. He surfaces after being underwater for some time. He runs his big hand through his raven hair to the back, making it stick to the nape of his neck.

I restrain myself from watching to save my plan. I have seen everything anyway. I have done even more than seeing. I tiptoe away carefully, avoiding making unwanted noises. Fortunately, it is a moonless night. The light is dim, and any noises I make are concealed by the bugs chirping.

I have gone far enough to be out of his sight and wade into the nicely flowing water. I sink myself waist-deep before slowly immersing my whole body and emerging again.

Splash. Splash.

I tread water loudly on purpose to let him know someone is here. I swim around like I am enjoying myself in the water, waiting until he is aware someone is bathing nearby. I scrub my skin roughly, clear my throat, and start singing to lure my target.

"My heart is free. Will someone care to take it? I am giving you a chance to own my heart."

It works...The splashing in his direction goes quiet, replaced with a rustling sound near the bank. Commander Yai must be heading this way. I hide my smile and continue singing.

"My heart is free like a pretty building. If you don't book it, you won't get a room. If you're slow, someone will take my heart. If you miss the chance, you will regret it."

I draw out the note to spice it up. I chose this song specifically for him.

Commander Yai finally shows up. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the tree on the bank, landing his gaze on me. I pretend to turn around and see him for the first time.

"Oh..Commander Yai, were you bathing over here? I didn't see you." Let me get back at him for accusing me of peeping at him when he practised sword fighting. "Were you peeping at me?"

"Peeping at you?" He sounds both amused and annoyed. "Is there anything pleasant to look at?"

"If you look carefully, there are lots of pleasant things to see, Commander," I say plainly. "Well, you were standing in the dark, not making a sound. How am I supposed to know what you were thinking?"

"What would I have thought if it were irksome? You were complaining so loudly. Even the birds and rats deep in the woods could hear it."

"I wasn't complaining. I was singing," I argue in frustration. "Don't Seehasingkornian people sing? Do you all only spar? Singing while bathing is a way to relieve stress, Commander Yai. Try it if you don't believe me."

He shakes his head. "Useless." And he strides off without looking back. Oh...Hey, is he just going to leave like this? It is hard to find a chance to converse with him. I move up to follow Commander Yai, but realise I am naked. I want to talk, not seduce him. Still, I would fail to catch up with him anyway if I ran after him once dressed up. All I can do is crane my neck stupidly.

I think of the last word he said before leaving.

'..Useless!

I bite my lip in contemplation. What did he mean? Was my suggestion useless? Or did he try to say I was useless? The thought infuriates me. How dare he say I was useless?! If he wanted to build houses, I would design every building and even supervise the construction for him right away. But we are travelling in the woods. I don't have a chance to show off my skills! This is freaking maddening. Commander Yai...you snobby prick. Just you wait!

The next day, I wake up before dawn and march with determination to the group of people building a fire to make breakfast. The man I talked to yesterday was Lom. He seems surprised to see me.

"I'm here to chop wood as I promised yesterday," I say firmly. I have never wanted to chop wood this much in my life. Lom looks nervous when I talk to him. He answers, nonetheless, "Now? We usually prepare firewood by dusk."

"I’ll do it now. You all go on and cook. I'll take care of chopping wood," I say. "And when dusk falls, you will have firewood ready for supper, and the soldiers can build fires straight away."

Acknowledging my resolution, Lom relents. A few minutes later, large pieces of wood are scattered on the ground, waiting for me to chop them into smaller pieces for kindling. I spot Commander Yai standing by the horses tied to the trees. He is an early bird. I know that.

I turn my attention to the matter at hand and grab a piece of wood to set it on the stump. I roll up my drawn-up cloth and grip the axe tightly. Open your eyes and watch, Commander. I am not as useless as you think. I lift the axe and fling it down with all my might. There is a THUD! When the cutting edge splits the wood in half, corresponding to the force put in. I look at my work with teary eyes.

Ohh_.My shoulders burn. I grit my teeth and chop another piece of wood without so much as a glance at Commander Yai. I focus on battling with the pile of wood. Finally, a big stack of firewood stands tall as I wished. I return the axe to Lom with a smile, my whole body in pain.

Throughout today's journey, I feel grateful every time they take a break. I overdid it with the wood chopping this morning, resulting in my constantly aching body. However, I force myself to keep walking like the others, as if nothing had happened. When the procession eventually halts to set a camp, I let out a sigh of relief that this time has come.

While the others carry out their tasks, I climb up on the luggage cart parked far away from the rest and lean on a pile of blankets in exhaustion. I watch a group of servants advancing into the woods to set animal traps. Even though they have rice and dried food on the supply carts, they always find more fresh food during the trip.

As I am about to drift into dreamland in weariness, I get startled by a shout. "Hey! Catch it!"

I bob my head and shift towards the back of the cart. The clamour goes on.

"Block its way!"

"The boar got in. Block its way now!"

When I stick my head out to take a look, I am completely awake. A boar is darting this way with some servants at its heels. Despite its chubby body, it is fast. This boar is not fully grown, its body covered in rough, stiff black hair, its fangs curving out of the corners of its mouth. My eyes go wide when a running servant points at me. "Hey! Block its way. Don't let it escape!"

Panicking, I look back and forth helplessly. At the same time, Commander Yai parts the curtain door and appears from the tent. Fucking boar! Why are you coming this way?! Nevertheless, I can't let this boar slip away, not when Commander Yai is watching! I can't let him believe I am useless anymore. In a split second, I make up my mind, leap out of the cart, and trip over because my knees buckle. Not giving up, I grasp a rock on the ground, push myself up, and dash towards that damn boar.

"HWAAAKI!!" I roar and throw everything I can grab within my arm's length at the boar. Rocks, firewood, and so on.

BONG! A ladle hits the boar's head with great accuracy. It is not enough to take it down, but the boar loses balance and wobbles into the thick growth of grass. Three men jump out of the bushes with spears in their hands. They rush in and stop the boar a few minutes later. Whoops echo across the camp joyfully and triumphantly. I guess they will feed on tasty boar meat for several meals onwards. Tears well up in my eyes, not from delight but the pain spreading all over my body.

At night, I sit by the fire with Captain Mun and the night sentries, my body full of bruises. Many of the men smile at me in a friendlier manner now. Captain Mun is called shortly after and returns with a large plate of grilled boar meat. Captain Mun hands me the plate and says, "It's yours."

"Hmm?"

"Commander Yai said you could have the whole plate."

I take the large plate in my hands. The meat is freshly grilled and sliced nicely on the plate, looking appetising and aromatic-smelling. I look at it, downhearted. Poor me. fought my ass off for him, but got rewarded with one plate of boar meat.

Tonight, I toss and turn next to Captain Mun on the cart. A way to be closer to Commander Yai demands this much blood, sweat, and tears? Will I be knocked out before I win his heart? No. don't believe I have reached a dead end. Humans evolved from the Stone Age to the modern era with intelligence. We are Homo sapiens, the genius species, and we don't easily surrender to obstacles.

At last, I have a plan. This plan is called 'Dig a hole to catch fish. In this case, I will call it "Dig a hole to catch the commander," because I have brought this plan especially for him.

I crack a smug smile in the dark. I can kill two birds with one stone. This plan, besides being a way for me to be closer to Commander Yai, might also convince the others to open their hearts and accept me as their friend. Clenching my fists, I elatedly shout, "Yes!" and groan because my body aches.

In the morning, while everyone packs their stuff to resume the journey, I walk the other way to collect stones around the area. I carefully select the preferred sizes and shapes. Not long after, I had all that I needed.

During the day, I spend my break time working on my invention. Each stone is partly painted in black marks to be distinguishable. I choose a piece of cloth and draw a pattern of squares. Finally, I have everything I need. This is equipment for playing chess.

When the sunlight fades, and the cool breeze takes place before sunset, as many of the others have completed their tasks and are relaxing from all the exhaustion from the whole-day trip, I carry my equipment to Captain Mun, my first player. He doesn't seem too interested at first, but still plays with me to kill time. But after the first game, Captain Mun falls headfirst into my trap. He asks for another round right after supper. The second game is followed by the third, the fourth, and the fifth. The fun escalates every time.

The others become interested and gather to spectate. I explain the rules and how each stone moves differently: pawns, bishops, rooks, knights, and kings. Soon, they start asking to play, and I welcome them with a smile. This is what I have been waiting for. In three days, the game's popularity skyrockets, spreading like mould on spoiled food. I have become the person accepted by every group, like a chess master with tons of pupils.

They play chess whenever they have a chance. During the break, after meals. They even bathe fast just to play chess more quickly. No more yawning and dozing on night sentry duty. They play chess with exhilaration. Both players and spectators are entertained and stay awake without relying on caffeine. Eventually, my time has come.

After I have finished my meal and bathing, as I fold my clothes and Captain Mun plays chess with the other guys by the fire, a soldier comes to me.

"Commander Yai called for you," he says.

"Where?" I ask.

"At his tent. He also said to bring your chess cloth."

"Okay. On it."

I reply evenly, like this is no big deal. When I turn around and know no one is watching, my lips twitch and crack the smile I hope no one sees. Joy spreads all over the pores of my skin. Finally, the big fish has swum into the hole I dug. I pull a chess set I have prepared out of a wrapped cloth, biting my lip to stop myself from smiling like a pervert.

...Ha.

Commander Yai...You are the one inviting me to your tent this time.