I Feel You Linger In The Air

Chapter 2 - Didn't You Say Heartbreaks Don't Kill

In the morning, I took a taxi with my suitcase to stop by the construction site as planned. When I arrived, I was surprised to see the builders gathering before the little house despite our current job being the renovation of the great house.

"What's the matter, Than?" I asked even before I reached there.

"The branch was broken and hit the roof of the little house last night, Jom," Than explained. "Above the stairs."

I gazed up and saw a branch the size of a thigh stuck in the roof. "Whoa, hold up. It pierced through the roof?"

"And the balcony floor. They said the wind was strong last night, like it was going to rain."

"Did it hit other parts of the main roof?" Worried, I strode to the little house. The roof and the floor could be repaired, but I was afraid the stuff inside would be damaged or stolen...There was a shadow there yesterday.

The little house was a two-story teak building. The main roof covering the house was hipped, while the side roofs were gabled, with a section extending over the L-shaped outdoor stairs leading upstairs. I avoided the planks on the landing holed by the fallen branch. Damn it. I hadn't ordered the materials for the little house, and now I had to fix it. I looked up at the roof. A line of tiles was ruined. Three broken purlins. The rafter was safe, fortunately.

I stepped up to the top floor and made my way through the balcony, which surrounded the house in the shape of a U, and into the hall inside. I unlocked the bedroom door to check the things kept in there. The room was dark, even at noon. I walked to the window and pushed it open to let in the light.

The room was as it had been when I had come yesterday. The roof remained unscathed. The four-poster bed stood with its head against one wall, no other furniture in sight. I heaved a sigh of relief when I spotted the two trunks safe at their places, with no signs of attempts to force the locks. I flicked my eyes to the wall.

A framed photo decorated the wooden wall. It depicted a gentleman, the former owner of the old house, who seemed to be a Phraya, along with his wife, two sons, and one daughter. The five of them stood on the lawn before the great house, their expressions deadpan, the way people in the past pulled when taking photos. They didn't smile brightly and make peace signs like the people in our era.

I cocked my head. The photo was indeed old, yet I wasn't scared. Wasn't a photo of the dead ones supposed to haunt us? It wasn't supposed to soothe my heart like this.

From what Than had told me, the current high lady was the niece who had moved to the US and left the house abandoned for ten years. The reason was that she was heartbroken by the General, her husband, blatantly taking his mistress, the age of their child, to the social functions without care of his wife. Consequently, she brought her kids to the US to study and planned to never return. That way, her kids wouldn't have to watch their father dote on his mistress in the media. I wondered what had changed her mind. I paid respect to the photo and whispered, 

"If you want me to repair this house successfully, please keep the wind and rain at bay until I come back." I locked the room and met up with Than on the lawn.

"I need to order wood and tiles to fix the roof of the little house as fast as possible. Please ask the builders to remove the branch first. Be careful not to break anything else."

"Okay," Than promised. "The guardian spirit of the house probably didn't want yer to flee and decided to hold yer back." I laughed. An old man's humour sure lit up the mood.

"Nonsense. I'll be back in two days." I took my phone out of my pocket to report the issue to my company so I could place the order quickly. The signal was so poor that I had to go near the river to make a proper phone call. I needed to address this before my departure. I had waited for Ohm for years. I wouldn't let the branch falling on the roof stop me.

After struggling to make the call and giving a long explanation, I was finally done. I jogged to the front of the property to call the taxicab to take me to the airport. Than stayed by the little house, supervising the builders to cut the branch into smaller pieces so it would be easier to throw away. But when he turned to see me, he halted, his face pale as if he had just seen a ghost.

I winced, "What's wrong, Than? Are you having heatstroke? Get some rest."

"Weren't yer in the little house?"

"No." I shook my head. "I went down for some time."

"I just saw yer on the balcony. Yer called me and was about to head down, but then Noi asked if I wanted him to cut the whole branch. I was busy answering. When I turned around, yer were gone."

"Your eyes were playing tricks. I've been on the phone in the backyard for half an hour. The signal was stronger there."

"Well." Than swallowed and ended it there.

"What?"

"Some call it a wraith," Than said in a lower voice. "It appears when that person is about to undergo an ill fortune."

I was speechless. Was it like a doppelgänger or the evil twin? Than was surely modern. I guessed he watched a lot of movies. He even knew foreign urban legends.

"Nonsense."

"If yer have to drive, be careful. And if yer have a chance, go and make merit."

"Thank you for your worry, but be at ease." I smiled. "I'm taking a taxicab today."

The moment the taxicab pulled over, I hopped right in, afraid to miss my flight. The car soared along the road around the old town moat, both sides beautifully edged by the golden shower trees, blossoming with yellow flowers. Purple and pink Bungor trees showered the grass with their falling petals. It was such a spectacular sight that I wished the Tourism Authority of Thailand would seriously promote this area. Perhaps it could balance out the fact that Thai people fly to Japan to see the cherry blossoms at the same time.

Unfortunately, the air was filled with dust and smoke. It was foggy as if I was in the Mist. It is Chiang Mai's weak point during this time of year, when the smog rate exceeds the standard. Mask-wearing is encouraged, and it is best to avoid outdoor activities to prevent respiratory diseases.

I caught the aeroplane by the final boarding announcement. It took me around an hour on the plane to finally arrive in Bangkok. While I took the Airport Rail Link from Suvarnabhumi to Phaya Thai Station, I texted my sister that I would visit my home in Chonburi in two weeks.

‘Buy me spicy sausages. Mom wants sweet strawberries. Dad wants nothing. Just buy anything for him. Anything. He can eat everything anyway.'

I smiled at my sister's reply. My family lived in Chonburi. They owned a convenience-store brand that was expanding across Thailand. My sister, Somjeed, was a college senior. I could go home this week, but I postponed it as I wanted to see someone my parents probably wanted to meet as well. He wasn't free this week, but I could wait. I had waited for years, after all.

...Ohm, my lover. I had dated him for almost four years. We met when I was a fourth-year architecture student, and Ohm was a senior in the same college, studying economics. Ohm came to hang out with his friend at the residence where I rented a room. We met at the elevator, then kept bumping into each other in the college, the residence hall, and the elevator hall. One day, eventually, he pulled over at the bus stop I was at and asked if I needed a ride.

Our story wasn't as thrilling as the ones in books, which were full of fights and competitions for love. It was simple and natural, though it often made my heart skip a beat. It was one of the happiest times in my life. We kissed for the first time in his car, in the parking lot of the residence, while it rained. It was raining cats and dogs, and I couldn't hear anything else. However, I could hear his voice clear as day.

"I love you.' A short sentence more impactful than just three words. These words, no matter how many years had passed, were still clear in my mind. It felt like I heard them a few minutes ago. Even though Ohm had gone to study abroad, causing us to be apart, my feelings for those words never faded.

I knew I must be grinning throughout the trip on the ARL. The heat as I changed the station didn't even faze me. I couldn't help it. I was happy. I checked in at the hotel in the shopping centre at BTS Asok Station. I had booked a spacious junior suite with a nice view and a big bed. The mattress was incredibly soft. It was pretty expensive, but I thought it would be worth it. I wasn't thinking of anything perverted.

After daydreaming in the room and rolling on the bed alone, hoping two people would be rolling on it tomorrow night, I took the ARL to the airport again at dusk. I waited at the Arrival Gate. A while later, I spotted Ohm's family heading this way: his parents and Ant, his little sister. I walked over to greet them.

"Good evening," I said, my hands folded over my chest. I had met them twice when Ohm hadn't flown to England. His parents seemed surprised to see me but fairly happy, while Ant folded her hands over her chest and smiled at me.

"Jom, it's been a while. How have you been?" Ohm's mother asked

"I've been well. What about you two?"

"We're old folks, frail and weak, but there's nothing serious. Ah.... It's nice that you're here to pick him up. I thought you two had stopped talking to each other. This is good. Keep being brothers."

..Brothers. Admittedly, I was confused. I had never once been brothers with Ohm. All right...We acted that way in public at times, but when we were alone, we were always something else. And Ohm never hid it from his family.

Ant was the first to notice something was off. She frowned before reaching out to hold my arm and saying, "Jom, it's been a while. Buy me coffee. I'm parched. We'll be right back, Mom."

She dragged me to the other side, where there was a café. Instead of ordering her coffee, she leaned closer until I could see her big, round eyes clearly, then she asked,  "You don't know, right?"

"Don't know what?" The weirdly tight squeeze on my arm caught me off guard. A strange expression painted Ant's face, like someone about to scream out of discomfort. I caught a glimpse of sorrow, too. Ant inhaled and continued, "When was the last time you talked to Ohm?"

"We talked two weeks ago. Ohm said he would be back in Thailand today."

Ant's eyes widened. "And he told you to pick him up? Wow, this is too much."

"What? It's no big deal. My flight was only an hour," I said with a laugh. "Ohm didn't tell me to pick him up. He told me to wait in Chiang Mai, and he would fly there the day after tomorrow. But I happened to be free, so I came here. I've missed him." Ant now looked like she was going to cry. "Does he know you're here?"

"It's a surprise."

"I fucking knew it..Ugh, sorry. I didn't mean to cuss." Ant fidgeted. She bit her lip, greatly troubled. 

"Jom...Ugh, how am I going to tell you?" My heart dropped. What happened? Could it be...Ohm had an accident?!

"What happened to him? Is he sick? What's wrong? I asked quickly. Ant shook her head. "No. How about this? Where's your hotel?" I said the hotel's name, still confused.

"Why don't you head back first? I'll give you a call. Or I'll just go there, okay?"

I began to sense something unusual. "Why don't you just tell me what's going on? I'm not going back like this."

Ant was about to yank her hair. Finally, she gave up. Ant took my arms. "Jom, listen to me. Take a deep breath and get it together. Ohm.." Her eyes instantly widened even more in a panic. "Ah! Shit...Too late."

I followed her gaze. Ohm had arrived. He was exiting the gate, pushing a cart with two huge suitcases. My legs felt light, my heart inflating like a balloon. Ohm was still the same, with his tall figure, handsome face, charming appearance, and warm smile. I was a bit befuddled when the smile was directed to someone next to him.

"Who's he coming with?" I asked.

"That's...Ohm's fiancée, Kaimook."

I turned my head abruptly to Ant. Ant looked sheepish. "Please don't make a fuss. I don't know what to do now. I'm sorry. Please calm down. I'm begging you."

Chills ran through my body as Ant kept apologising, as though it were her fault. "You're not kidding, right?"

Ant shook her head. I turned to Ohm again. Now I could see the woman hooking Ohm's arm with her hand. She was pretty, fashionable, and classy. They both went ahead and greeted his parents, and they gladly responded. My head spun, my brain unable to process the situation.

"How long?" My voice trembled.

"They've engaged... ah, for a month now."

"..'

"Jom." Ant held my arm, pitifully fidgeting. But I pitied no one right now.

"I'll go and greet him." I yanked my arm back, not caring if it looked mean and rude, and strode towards Ohm. I couldn't bring myself to believe it...Ohm? The one who said he loved me and kissed me gently would do such a thing? I couldn't believe it. When I was near enough for them to notice, Ohm turned around.

"Jom.." His face went pale.

I halted, immediately realising it. The second our eyes met, it conveyed everything more than what Ant had said. The Ohm I had missed was here, but not in the way I had dreamed of. I greeted Ohm, my face numb, my hands freezing. "Good evening, Ohm. Welcome back to Thailand."

"Jom...You're here?" He still seemed in shock. I stared into his eyes. My emotions ran wild. I was stupefied and flabbergasted...How could he do this to me?

"How am I not?" My voice weakened, doleful.

"Jom.." Ohm couldn't say another word, only his eyes reflecting worry and apology. Pain rushed in my chest, piercing more sharply than any other feeling.

"I need to leave now. Let's catch up later." I turned to his parents, my hands folded over my chest. "I'm taking my leave."

I had no idea how I went back from the airport to the hotel. My head was flooded with questions, while my heart felt a mix of love, disappointment, anger, pain, disbelief, and unacceptance. But in the end, I had to believe it.

I sank into the upholstered chair by the large window, overlooking the city lights. I took out my phone and dialled the number I remembered too well. Ohm picked up soon enough, his voice not muffled or stuttering like he wasn't trying to avoid my call. It was painfully calm.

[Jom, it's not the best time to talk. I'll go to your hotel tomorrow.]

"Why not now?"

[We shouldn't talk right now.]

"Why? What's the difference? If you're going to break my heart, I'll be hurt whether it is now or tomorrow. I don't want to wait until morning. I want to talk now."

He paused on the other end. [No, Jom. We need to talk in person. Trust me. Go to bed. We'll talk in the morning]

Ohm hung up when my phone was still in my grip. I diverted my gaze to the glass window, not looking out but at the reflection on it. The face I had seen every day in the mirror felt dissimilar today. It displayed sadness, the kind I had never witnessed before.

In the morning, as promised, Ohm met up with me. We sat across from each other in the corner of the hotel restaurant.

"Sorry for being late," Ohm started. "Mom wanted me to make merit with her first."

"No need to apologise. I'm not mad about that." Ohm went still.

"So, are you really dating that woman?" I cut to the chase, not wasting time.

"Yes," he answered firmly.

"When? When did you meet her?"

"Half a year ago. She's the daughter of my adviser."

My heart hurt as if someone smashed it with a hammer. "Then what were we all this time?"

Ohm looked at me, no hesitation in his eyes. "You know it was love."

"What about her? That woman. What's her name? Kaimook? Did you fall in love with her, too? Or you were so unbearably lonely that you hooked up with whoever blindly?" His dark eyebrows knitted together. "Jom, don't say that."

"Why? Are you upset? What about me? I'm upset too. Why didn't you tell me four or five months ago? How could you let me daydream about us all by myself?!"

"I didn't want to break up with you on the phone. You weren't my temporary sexual partner. You were my boyfriend, my lover." I was stunned. His words landed firmly, as though he had no idea what he spewed out was brutally tearing me apart. "You loved me. Then why did you do this to me? How fucked up are you to have pulled something like this?"

His beautiful lips were pressed together. He offered no excuses. "You're going to marry her, right?" I said, bitterly.

"She's over a month into her pregnancy. We're planning our wedding."

Was that his reason? He was taking responsibility for knocking a woman up...Unbelievable. I had only heard this kind of story in a soap opera.

"Was it a mistake?" I asked.

"No." His answer left me speechless.

"It wasn't a mistake. I love Kaimook."

"So what? I don't get it. You love her, but you also love me. Are you saying you love us both equally, but you're going to marry her because she's pregnant and I can't?!" Ohm suddenly seemed exhausted. His voice was soft, scratchy, tired, like he was in pain. 

"Loving equally...There's no such thing, Jom."

Staggered, I felt like lightning struck my head. It wasn't pain. It was an unexpected appeal that soon turned into massive rage. My hands trembled as I took in the sight of the man I had loved for almost four years.

"You." My voice quivered, so my words came out in gibberish. "Get the hell away from me. And from now on, for the rest of my life, don't even show your face or utter a single word to me. No matter how happy or sad you are, don't contact me. Just go and die from my life."

"Jom…

"Leave!" I yelled, clenching my fists. Other customers turned to us, but I didn't care. I just wanted the man before me to go away. Ohm rose. He stood there like he hoped I would hold him back. However, I didn't even want to glance up at him.

"I know my apology means nothing to you." Ohm's voice was gentle yet firm. "But I hope you know I'm sorry things turned out this way, and I know you will forgive me one day, even though I don't deserve it. That's the kind of person you are, the person I would fall in love with over and over again if I hadn't met Kaimook. I don't have any excuses, but I hope you know I never regret loving you."

And he left. I sat there for a long time, collecting the pieces of my heart shattered by someone stomping on it as if it were nothing. I decided to return to Chiang Mai that afternoon. I packed my stuff, checked out, and called the airline to change my flight without care of the cost of the difference.

I stepped out of the hotel lobby and headed to the connecting walkway between BTS Asok Station and the mall via the subway underground. I marched hurriedly like everyone else there. And then I stopped, going rigid in the middle of the walkway of the BTS Station, letting my backpack fall down by my feet, absorbing the gush of emotions.

Earlier, I was baffled by the wave of emotions that I couldn't distinguish or deeply realise. But now, it was attacking me, slowly but surely, one by one, with no holding back.

Amidst the bustling sounds of traffic below, conversations, and people passing by, I became aware of the loneliness forming into a tiny dot in my chest. It expanded at full tilt until it swallowed me whole. I was lonely and alone. I looked around. Despite loads of people around me, I felt empty, like I was standing by myself in a deserted city void of a single soul.

... Just go and die from my life. I had said those words without knowing death would bring us apart for real...And it wasn't going to be his death.

I reached Chiang Mai late in the afternoon. The visibility was so terrible that the pilot had to circle around for some time before landing. As soon as I was at my accommodation, I grabbed my car key and drove off to a restaurant as my

destination, any place that sold alcohol at the moment. If clear consciousness made the pain more vivid, I would go with the option that inflicted less pain.

The evening sky was cloudier than usual due to the weather. I propelled on the road, skirting the Ping River as fast as I could, nearly over the speed limit. I turned the volume of the music up to drown the voice in my head.

"I know my apology means nothing to you, but I hope you know I'm sorry.'

...You piece of shit. You know it was love! I gritted my teeth, suppressing the fury and sadness soaring continuously. My eyelids felt hot, but I didn't want to waste my tears over this, over the damn liar.

Regardless, emotions sometimes refuse to be controlled, though they are ours. Soon, tears clouded my vision, making it harder to see the road covered in smog. I leaned down to wipe my tears with my forearm, and the phone in my pocket rang. I looked down at it. That moment was a mistake.

I never thought of ending my life. I didn't even plan to drive back tonight if I got wasted. My car slid into the other lane at full speed as I reached for my phone. When I turned my eyes to the road again, light blasted through the smog, followed by a long piping horn. My eyes went wide in utmost shock as I swerved my car at the last second. 

I survived the crash I had managed to avoid, but my car hurtled into the railing, colliding with it, tearing it in half, and then I plunged through the bizarrely thick smog into the turbid water.

SPLASH!

For a moment, I think I see the light flashing like lightning, so bright that I have to shut my eyes. My body is then enfolded by a mass of water.

I don't want to die..! I don't want to die like this! I don't want my parents to be sad because their son killed himself out of heartbreak when it's not true. Amidst the panic, my body plummets as though I am being sucked into the centre of the whirlpool. I have no idea how I got out of my car. The ringing in my ears hasn't ceased. I try to struggle against everything, but it's fruitless.

Eventually, the last gulp of air slips off, used up, and I am forced to breathe in the water instead of fresh air. My body is instantly no longer in motion, floating still like I am in a vacuum. I hear no sound. It is strangely quiet. A second later, an immense force pushes me upwards, a movement unlikely to be possible in the water. My ears pop. I curl, my hands automatically flying up to cover them, before I feel my body emerging through the water's surface.

I gasp for air, filling my lungs ravenously, when my head is above the water. I cough violently, choking on water, but I try to keep myself floating. Then, I rushed to the shore nearby. I successfully swim to it and pant on the riverbank, my whole body sore. I lie there until my exhaustion ebbs. Finally, I force myself to stand up and flick my eyes around. What is this place? Life after death?

It's different from what I read in the book, the one saying we have to swim through the River of Death to the land on the other side, the land only accessible by the souls of the dead. But this feels like the human world. There is dirt, rocks, trees, bugs chirping, and a boat behind the bushes tied to the riverbank. Only it's nighttime.

I totter on the ground and stare into the darkness before me, then I spot the distant light and decide to go there. When I am close enough, I find out it's the light from the flickering lamp on the terrace. A house! I scream in my mind with joy as I jog over.

"Hey, help me. I fell into the river and got up here," I shout when I see two figures moving on the terrace. The figures halt when they hear my voice, but they remain silent.

I wish I could wait longer, but I can't. I am drenched and need help. I decide to ascend the steps while explaining, "Excuse me. I need to bother you. I fell into the river and swam into your place. I don't know how to get to the road."

Under the glow of the lamp, I can make out that the shadowy figures belong to a man and a woman. The man wears a northern cotton shirt and fisherman pants. The woman hides behind his back. They both seem shocked by my appearance.

"Ah...Mister." That's all I can manage to say when I am welcomed by a foot booting me, sending me falling on my butt.

"Ouch!" I yelp.

"E-Kammoon, go to the boat," the man orders impatiently. The woman darts down the stairs toward the river. I push myself up despite the pain. Eyes bulging, I get dragged by the collar and shoved into an open door.

"Wait. Please listen," I sputter. The same foot kicked me in the stomach. I lunge through the door and sway.

THUD!

My head hits the pillar, and I black out.

[*Please note that northern people in this era speak in the old northern dialect.]

I regain consciousness when I hear people talking and see the light leaking through the wooden planks. I sit up groggily, my head throbbing, and I groan. I touch the left side of my head, which feels like an orange swelling. It hurts where the small wound is, the oozing blood now drying up and sealing the cut.

"E-Kammoon, get up. Are you a servant or a boss, doggone it?" A woman pipes in front of the door. I turn towards it. The door is flung open, revealing a woman in a sari, a dark cloth wrapped around her chest, standing there. We hold each other's gazes for five seconds before she shrieks and dashes away.

In a moment, hell breaks loose. I am dragged out of the room by a mighty man dressed like he's going to perform a sword dance at the Cultural Arts Centre. He wears only a short loincloth, flashing his chest muscles and ripped legs.

"Who are you?!" he bellows after throwing me on the terrace. I can see now that it's a small wooden house with Phluang leaves as a roof.

".. I got lost. I swam here..." Before I can finish, a girl roars furiously, stomping up the stairs. "I told you to keep an eye on her for a night. What's the fuss now, E-Mei?"

The voice owner appears. She's a chubby woman around fifty years old with boobs, bare breasts, hanging and swinging. I freeze. It's not like I've never seen boobs before, but I've never expected to see them right here, right now.

"He was in the room when I opened the door." The girl in the morning clarifies. "If I had known it was a man, I wouldn't have been able to sleep. What will I do if people find out?"

"Quit your bullshit, E-Mei," the braless woman seems fed up. "You weren't in the same room as him."

"But still under the same roof." Mei doesn't give up. The other ignores her and turns to me. "Who are you?"

'.., "I don't know how to respond. "My name is Jom."

"Why did you pretend to be a woman?"

"Huh..?" I am utterly confused.

"Last night, when Oui-Ta sent you here, you were a woman. How come you turned into a man in the morning?"

"You're mistaken!" I protest. "I didn't pretend to be anyone. I got here last night and was kicked into that room. I wasn't pretending."

"Why are you speaking in a central dialect, not northern? What an odd lad." The braless woman glares and turns to the topless man. 

"Ai-Ming, keep an eye on him. I'll tell the boss that Oui-Ta scammed us. He sent us a son instead of a daughter."

The woman storms away, leaving me sitting here, dizzy from the headache and confused about the man named Ming, who eyes me with annoyance. ...What the hell is going on?

"Who are you? Oui-Ta doesn't have a son. Are you his nephew?" Ming asked. I shake my head, not knowing what to say. "I said I got lost."

"How did you get lost in Mei's room?" His face expresses contempt. "We're fucked up. Oui-Ta sold his daughter outright. Why did he send a man? He knows the foreign boss prefers women."

Something is off. I don't think I got myself out of the water to a normal riverbank. Now that I think about it, how could someone breathe underwater for almost an hour and surface at night?

There are two possibilities: I am dreaming, or I am living in the afterlife. I tick off the first one. No need to slap my face to prove it because I can still feel the kick from last night, not to mention my swollen head. The kick was real. The pain was real. No faking it. I choose to ask, "Mister… Ah, your name is Ming, right? Have you ever died?"

He looks at me like I'm crazy. "What kind of question is that? If I died, how could I be here?" I glance at his temples down to his neck. He's right. His bulging veins throb. I try to prove it by feeling the pulse on my wrist. Yeah, we're not spirits. We're breathing. We're alive.

I cast my eyes over the Lanna house covered with Phluang leaves, people dressed like actors in a period drama, and the keyword, 'the foreign boss'. I take a quick, deep breath, my heart racing...No. No way.

"Ming, let me ask you one more thing. What B.E. is this?"

"Bee-Eee?" Ming looks bemused.

I changed the question. "I mean...Who is the provincial governor? Wait, wait, I mean, the king, the city leader, the...Oh, right, who is the ruler of this city? Do you know it?"

Ming stops looking at me like I am crazy; he looks like he thinks I am stupid. He replies, "Of course, I know."

He raises his folded hands as he utters the name, "Prince Kaew Nawarat, the ruler of Chiang Mai." Chills run down from the roots of my hair to my toes.

..Holy crap. An ultimate misfortune of my life. I may not excel at history or be knowledgeable, but I know this. I've visited several historic landmarks in Chiang Mai. Prince Inthawichayanon, Prince Intawaroros Suriyawong, Prince Kaew Nawarat. The names of other northern princes pop up in my head, respectively, as if I am reading a book backwards.

I'm going to cry. I think I've travelled back in time to the Sixth Reign, the era where foreigners played considerable roles in Chiang Mai, the pre-war period!