HEMP ROPE

We have each other…or not?

The University's parking lot in the morning bustled with swimming club members. After loading their bags into the minibus, they got on and fought for seats.

 

Team took up a seat next to a window, yawning because of a lack of sleep the night before. He looked outside the window, where a person from his dorm was talking to a driver about their schedule.

 

"I'm sitting with you."

 

A dropped himself next to Team's, not waiting for his response. His hand is holding an open bag of snacks. Bubble Bee, also with a bag of snacks, sat on the long cushion behind them, Sea following close behind. He looked at A with stoicism, shook his head and sat behind them.

 

"Let's see how long he holds onto that seat," Bee told Sea about A. "He never learned. "He knows nothing." Sea shrugged.

 

As they expected, once the vice president got on the bus, he made his way straight to the back of the bus and ousted A without so much as a second thought.

 

"What the heck, P'Win? There are plenty of seats." A muttered but gave up his seat before Bee and Sea hauled him down to sit between them....The seat was meant for him.

 

"So damn sleepy." Phawin leaned back in his seat, looking drowsy like the junior next to him.

 

"Not enough sleep?" Team bit, seeing Win's dark circles around his eyes.

"You too." Win looked at the other's tired eyes.

 

"I'm excited for the trip." The young man lied through his teeth; his hand dug through his supplies for a snack.

 

The man shrugged and said no more. He ate with Team, waiting for the bus to depart. The entire journey to Kanchanaburi was filled with a lively atmosphere. Voices teased the club president's boyfriend, who served his lover food along the way. 

 

Team shared his snacks with friends. Sometimes they grouped up to play games. Not long after, two sleep-deprived athletes had their heads tilted against each other as they slept.

 

Pharm took that picture of his best friend and smiled at A, doing the same thing before he turned to laugh mischievously at P’Dean, looking at him having fun.

Well, he couldn't miss this once-in-a-while opportunity to get back at his friend.

 

By the time they reached The Bridge on the River Kwai, the sun was positioned right in the middle of the sky. It was so hot that they had to apply sunscreen before getting off the bus and scattered about the area. The president shouted after them to get back in one hour.

 

Team, who had been sleepy all the way, were now bright awake. He got his best friend on the bridge and took a selfie to upload on social media.

 

After a while, they both stopped and panted under the blazing sun. They clung to the railing of the bridge's resting point, taking in the sight of an endless River Kwai.

 

"It's hot, but at least it's windy." Pharm closed his eyes, feeling the breeze. His hand held tight on a hat given by his love.

 

"There's a raft too." Team pointed to a large raft towed along the river, accompanied by loud music. It looked like a tourist raft for food and karaoke.

Team wanted to try the raft, but thought both Win and Dean would go against it.

 

"But today we'd stay over in a raft house, aren't we?" Pharm.

 

"It's different. Mosquitoes'd swarm us if we stayed overnight on that kind of raft." 

 

Team laughed. He was about to take their photo again when a golden blob of hair appeared behind them.

 

"Nong Pharm, Ai Dean's looking for you." Phawin smiled, patting the junior's shoulder lightly. His gentle demeanour got Team's mouth twitching. With Pharm, he was using a second or third tone to call Nong. Man...

 

Once they were alone, Win ruffled Team's hair "What's with that expression?"

 

"You were so gentle, it irritates me."

 

"Jealous?"

 

"You're so full of yourself, Hia." Team rolled his eyes. He'd never be jealous of them. Their chemistry would be so off. Besides, Pharm would never look anywhere other than Dean. The man shrugged, then leaned on the bridge's railing in a relaxed manner.

 

"Alright, not jealous."

 

Team's eyes lowered to the River Kwai again. "But I don't like it" Sharp eyes looked at the young man next to him. He couldn't see the other's expression from this angle.

 

"I don't like you touching him that way." 

 

Phawin arched his brows; his heart skipped a beat. He straightened himself, not knowing how to react to Team's remark. Fuck, what should I do?

 

"You..." Before he could soak in that butterfly-in-his-stomach moment, Team spun at him with a frowny face.

 

"I don't like you touching my best friend that way. Pharm's soft and small. Only P'Dean and I can touch him, ok? Phawin was dumbfounded, stuttering. "Wait... just patted his shoulder."

 

"Yeah, that too. You're prohibited from doing so," Team reiterated before he noticed a fourth-year senior, P. Pruek, herding club members back on the bus.

 

"Oh, it's time. I'll wait for you on the bus." Team ended the conversation and fled to the bus, ignoring a yell chasing after him. He didn't look back to see Win's expression, but...He couldn't let him see his face now. Ahhh, what the fuck have I done?

 

The accommodation was a raft house along the river, stretching far on both sides, with a large central raft serving as the hotel's check-in lobby. After talking to the hotel manager, the resort owner's son handed the room keys to the club's members. He gave the club's president a room with his boyfriend. He deserves an outstanding best friend award today.

 

Giggles were shared between club members when the president brought his boyfriend to their room. That kid from another club was so confused that they all found him endearing.

 

"And you're coming with me." Phawin wound his arms around his little brat and passed the rest of the keys to A. "Hand these out"

 

"Wait. I said no. Hey, Hiaaaa," Team hollered, trying to unlock himself from Win's arms, dragging him along after Dean.

 

The club members left behind could only gawk. As a senior, Pruek sometimes felt the need to reprimand both the president and vice president, but all he did was roll his eyes.

 

He looked around and made a silent hand gesture. His club members nodded in understanding....As members of this club, they must deal with it. A could only look between the set of keys in his hand and his friend, who was led out by their senior.

 

"Uh..." He was clueless. Sea shook his head, grabbed one key and handed the rest to the club's senior.

 

"P'Pruek, please take over."

 

"You come here." Bubble Bee pulled stunned A towards a room

 

"We'll stay together."

 

"What?"

 

"No, what. The faster we get to the room, the faster we get to swim." A's eyes widened 

 

"Oh, right", Win mentioned the swim tube; they needed to get their hands on it first. "Quickly, guys." He beckoned to his two friends to follow him, forgetting all about his prior doubts.

 

"Oh?" The rest of the members looked at each other in confusion. Why would the three of them stuff themselves in one room when one room was for two?

 

Pruek smacked his own forehead....He needed to reprimand all of them once the trip was over.

 

In the breezy evening, the swimming club members enjoyed swimming in front of their raft accommodations. Even Pharm from another club had a good time with his new friends. Once his energy was spent, he lay on the duck-pool float and let himself bask in nature and the cool water.

 

"Pharm!!"

"Whoa!"

 

The duck pool float tilted as Team scrambled up and clung to the other side.

 

"Have you sent pictures to Manow?"

 

"I have." Pharm clung to the duck's neck. He was scared, despite wearing the life jacket. After all, this was a river, not a pool.

 

"Manow went wheeny-whiny."

 

Team laughed, liking it. "We'll send more to her then. Oh, good timing. P' Pruek." He waved to Pruek, sitting with legs dangling on a raft.

 

"What?"

"My mobile's over there. Can you please take a photo for me?"

 

No password needed for camera mode. The so-called cameraman shot their photo without hesitation. He laughed at how adorable Team and Pharm were, having their heads bumped into each other.

 

"You keep taking pictures. Are you going to upload it on social media?" Phawin checked the photo Pruek just took. If he recalled correctly, Pharm and Team had a photo of the university's cute boy. If there were another photo, it would definitely be another issue.

 

"Nope. We'll just send it to Manow so she can envy us."

 

Upon hearing that name, Pruek dropped Team's mobile, but he quickly regained it to catch it before it fell into the river.

 

"Hey!!"

 

"Fuck", Team, Pharm and even Phawin cursed at the same time.

 

"P'Pruek, I haven't paid off for that yet." Team cried, swimming to reach the edge of the raft. His heart dropped. The worst thing about losing that cellphone was losing all the photos.

 

"My bad." Pruek ran his hand over his face and placed the cellphone away from the edge of the raft. Phawin sat next to Pruek, laughing. He elbowed his senior in

banter. "Would you like Manow's LINE? I could ask Team for you." Pruek panicked and unconsciously raised his glass as he always did, except he wasn't wearing one now. His hand pushed up nothing. "No."

 

"You sure?" Win arched his brow.

 

"Yeah. I won't add without her consent."

 

"Oh," Win exclaimed. He clapped the senior's shoulders, beaming with pride.

"You're a real man. I'll praise you to Nong Manow later. But for now..."

 

Push

Splash

 

The fourth-year senior fell ceremoniously into the river.

 

"Ai Win!"

 

"You gotta swim, bro." Win stood on the raft with self-satisfaction but quickly fled when his senior clambered back up to him.

 

Team and the rest of the club members cackled at the battle between the vice president and the big brother of their club. Meanwhile, the club president swam to his lover, lying with his face on a duck pool float. A constant serious face spread into a gentle smile.

 

When the sky turned inky black, it was littered with stars. The warm yellow light cast over the large raft where swimming club members gathered for dinner.

 

Roasted chicken, Som Tum, Nam Tok, Laab, Tom Saab and other dishes sat on the raft's surface. Alcoholic drinks were allowed on this special occasion, but only for club members; the president, vice president, and Pruek stayed away from it. They needed to be sober to keep all of them safe on the raft.

 

The sound of laughter mixed with the guitar and singing. Of course, a regular game among drinking parties, like spin-the-bottle, was on.

 

"Bubble Bee's turn." The bottle pointed to a first-year student chomping on sticky rice. He almost choked, but a friend handed him a glass of water, saving him.

 

"What do I ask? Oh, do you have someone you like now?"

 

"Ohhhh."

 

Loud banter sounded, but it didn't faze Bee. "Yes," Bee responded, glancing towards a guy taking a large bite of roasted chicken. The club members followed his eyes to A, the naive guy of the club.

 

"What are you looking at? This last one is mine." A had a different idea; he gobbled a chicken like he was afraid Bee would take it away from him. Sea patted his friend's shoulder, nodding in support.

 

"I feel you."

 

The brown bottle was spun again, all eyes fixed on it. It stopped, pointing to the president himself. They felt the air had lowered by two degrees Celsius.

 

"Err.." Bee almost nudged the bottle to move a little more. It wasn't pointing to anyone else but Dean!

 

"Your chance, man." His friend elbowed Bee's waist. "Ask him about his boyfriend."

"You think that's a good idea?" Bee muttered. He didn't want to bother his senior.

 

While everyone nodded in agreement, once in a while, they'd get this one chance. If not now, then when?

 

"P'Dean and Pharm. Who made the first move?"

 

Pharm almost choked. His face burned despite zero alcohol. Dean's brows slightly furrowed, and his body swayed as his friend shook him.

 

"Answer, dude." Phawin laughed. He wanted to know, yet he had some idea. Dean's eyes glanced at his lover; Pharm ducked and focused on rolling sticky rice between his palms. Dean flashed a smile in endearment, recalling the day he made the first move and Pharm had the same reaction.

 

"Me."

 

"Oooooohhhhh," The kids exclaimed. How Dean flirted with anyone was beyond their thinking capacity, but from how Pharm's face exploded, it must have been something.

 

"How's that, lover boy?" Team teased, wondering if Pharm could finish all the sticky rice balls he'd made.

 

"Nosy." Pharm put a sticky rice ball in his mouth. With that, he didn't need to answer to anyone. Dean spun the bottle again to save his boyfriend. Like karma, the bottle pointed to Team, who kept bantering with his friend.

 

"Fuck." Team's eyes bulged; he did not expect that. A smile pulled at the corner of Dean's lips. He drummed his fingers against the raft's surface before questioning.

 

"Do you have a lover?"

 

A whistle broke out loud. Team's friends shook him in excitement for a quick answer.

 

"Answer quick, dude."

 

"Are you seeing anyone?"

 

"Phweeee!" Team stuttered, glaring at Dean. His senior ignored him completely. That must've been revenge for Pharm.

 

"N.." The answer was stuck in his throat. Win didn't join the banter along with others like he usually did. He sat and waited. Team could only look away from those eyes and whisper. "Not yet." He wasn't lying. He really had no lover yet.

 

As the day passed into night, the members went back to their respective rooms. The president took his lover back in the evening. Pruek and Win brought the drunkards back to their rooms.

 

Team looked up towards the sky, his feet dangling in cold water. As his surroundings quieted, the sound of the stream became audible.

 

"You're not going to sleep yet?" Sea, who had just finished stacking up plates and bowls, asked Team sitting next to the river. He tried to tell if Team was drunk or not.

 

"I like the air here."

 

"You're not drunk, aren't you?"

 

Team shook his head and shooed his friends. "Not at all. You guys go ahead and sleep." Seeing Team was fully conscious, they left. Win would have come for him in a while, anyway.

 

After carrying the juniors back to their respective rooms, Phawin's back started to ache. He massaged his shoulder; his other hand texted his friend, scolding him for leaving early with his boyfriend. Go make out with Nong Pharm and leave me to my own device.

 

Fuck you, Dean. He still had to clean up after all these brats. What was he? A butler?

 

"Oh, you're still up?" He spotted Team sitting where he thought everyone had left.

 

He ambled in with worry.

 

"Are you drunk?"

 

"No, I'm good. Been to restrooms many times; alcohol is out of my system."

 

"But you shouldn't sit by the river." Win took Team's face in his hand and studied it from left to right. "Your face is still a little red. What if you fall?"

 

*I'm a member of the swimming club, Hia." Team laughed, pointing at himself.

"But this is a river, not a club's swimming pool."

 

Upon that, Team blinked and drew his feet up from the water.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"Good boy." Win swayed the junior's head from side to side.

 

"What are you doing here anyway? Isn't there a mosquito?"

 

"Star gazing." Team pointed to the sky. "I can relax once in a while."

 

Phawin dropped down next to Team. He pulled his hair band, shaking it off. 

 

"That's better. Those guys are heavy." Win stretched his tattooed arms. He had a lazy appearance, yet he was full of charm. Team smiled to himself. This guy still cared about everyone. He never changed. A kind Hia Win...

 

Team picked up a guitar from the floor and placed it on his lap. He moved his hands and hummed softly to dismiss useless thoughts from his brain.

 

"Have you practised at all?" He asked Win. He had taught Win many times. Win could manage to play a song at the end of last year, but he hadn't been playing since the training and exams.

 

"Yeah. Come, I'll play it." Win picked up the guitar from Team's lap. He set the chords and then started playing the song that he practised every day. The song that had been stuck in his heart for a long time. Suddenly, his heart was in turmoil.

Maybe it's the changing days,

Or someone playing tricks, the magic's gone,

Unravelling me. What is this?

 

I'm asking, asking you,

Don't leave me hanging. It's painful.

Tell you, tell me if it's not too much.

 

Every day, when Phawin returned to his room, he kept playing this song. He'd been practising this song ever since he started to learn guitar.

 

Who am I to you?

Are you still looking at me like you used to?

Can you be straight with me?

If you look into your heart,

Will you still find me there? 

 

His eyes gazed at Team with so many questions in his heart. Team's answer in the evening scared him.

 

"You have a lover?"

"Not yet."

 

His heart, once full of confidence, was now shaken. He just hoped it wasn't too late.

 

"Hia, you want to ask me something while playing this song?" The guitar stopped, leaving them with the sound of the river. Win was smiling, but his eyes wavered.

 

"And..."

 

The baritone voice had no playful tone like it used to; it came out unstable, telling how vulnerable he felt.

 

"..When you played this song back then, what did you want to tell me?"

 

In our hearts, do we still have each other? Team bit his lips; his hands pecked on his pant legs. He decided against fear and worry. The young man retrieved the guitar from the other, his trembling finger touching the silver string.

 

"Remember, I said I had something to tell you?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"You once told me I'm your special person. You're kind to me and look after me more than anyone else. I'm so happy. But I've always wondered..."

 

Win flashed a faint smile "You gave up everything for me, so who's really you, Hia?"

 

"..."

 

"You're kind to everyone. You answer to everyone asking for help...but do you ever ask anyone for help?"

 

"..."

 

"You tutored for my examinations until late at night. When did you find the time to study for yourself?"

 

"You wait for me to go to your room at one or two in the morning when I can't sleep. How many hours do you sleep?"

 

"I don't..."

 

"If being your special person means you have to abandon yourself..."

 

“…..”

 

"Then... I don't want to be one."