HEMP ROPE

Decision.

Christmas Day was over. The decorative lights in front of the department store were replaced with New Year's decorations. Shops put up 'Happy New Year' signs and long holiday announcements. Bangkok was quiet. People thinned out in the dormitories around the university. Some students returned home, while others stayed, with nothing to do but lie in bed, play on their phones, or watch series, since they had nowhere else to go.

 

Team was one of those students who had no place to go. He muttered to himself out of boredom. He initially planned to hang out with Pharm, but the guy went with Dean to a temple and met their parents afterwards. Win went home, and Team didn't want to bug in their family time. Plane tickets back to his hometown were sold out before Team could get his hands on them, and the available first-class tickets were out of his options. He just gave up.

 

All he did was make a call to wish Win and his parents a Happy New Year. Swimming was also out of the question since Win didn't trust him alone; the Team was prohibited until Win came back. He wondered if Win was actually his dad.

 

While playing games and using social media to pass the time, messages from the green application appeared. The swimming club group's messages had been popping up nonstop since last night. As the competition drew closer, club members were restless. They needed to vent and cry until Dean arrived, and then they fell quiet for an hour.

 

Aekki: Take us to Thai BBQ after the competition, please, @Winnie the Pool.

MeNg: A treat to comfort a loser?

Aekki: Watch your mouth. I'll tell P'Dean.

A: We want a reward. There must be a reward for effort. @winnie the pool

Winnie the pool: Of course, I'll take you to eat until you have to crawl home.

Dean: Don't we have a faculty event after the game?

Winnie the pool: No problem, let's take them to eat first.

 

Team's eyebrows knitted at Win's message in frustration. It wasn't that he disliked Win promising to club members about food, but he hated Win for being a people pleaser. This time was no different. Win himself was busy, but he took care of the others first. Team saw Win work on his own things until late at night, way too many times.

 

"Being kind again," Team mumbled, putting his phone away. He glanced at a desk next to the bed. A fat, round cactus, standing next to a small Santa Claus doll, was placed on it.

 

On Christmas Day, Win took him to see the Christmas lights all over Bangkok by bike. Their photos almost filled up his mobile memory card. Win got him this doll before they went back home after dinner at the mall.

 

"Here. Your first Christmas keepsake."

 

First Christmas gift.

 

"You know mistletoe?"

 

"What is it? Is it edible?"

 

Phawin laughed, looking for something in his plastic bag. "It's a Western belief that your love will last long if you kiss your lover under a mistletoe." Win fished out a small bouquet of greens. Team recalled that it was some sort of vegetables that Win bought from the mall.

 

"Mistletoe is rare in Thailand; let's make do with this." Win raised the veggies above them. His keen eyes gestured to his confused junior. "Hey, you know what to do."

 

Team looked between the green veggies and the senior. Understanding dawned on him. "Geez, Hia. It's outside."

 

Phawin shrugged. He shook the veggies in his hand. "Quick, quick, quick."

 

Team hesitated. He glanced left and right, blaming the atmosphere for drawing him into the unthinkable.

 

"Oops."

 

"What are you laughing at?" Team glared, thinking about smacking the senior with vegetables.

 

"You, hah hah." Phawin shook his head in fondness. "Man, hey, look." He shook the veggies again.

 

Team looked up before a face lowered down to him. Soft, warm lips pressed against his again; this time, it was softly crushing. Not a passionate one, but the heat transferred all over his body.

 

Team rolled himself with the blanket, trying to calm himself.

 

"Maan!! Team, you!" Realising his feelings for Win didn't make it any easier. He never knew that loving someone could be painful.

 

"Why on earth must I like him?" He hugged the pillow out of boredom.

 

The Santa doll fell to the floor from the impact. Team crawled down to pick it up and thought about the blond senior even more. Fantastic, he'd fallen in love with someone he had a one-night stand with...

 

A notification sound rang out one more time; he rolled over to get his phone and saw a message from Pharm to Manow regarding their academic papers.

 

"We're guys, right? Make a move, don't just wait for the other to do it."

 

"Make a move if you like them."

 

Their words came back to him. Pharm was prone to being shy, but he never shied away from Dean. As unsure and scared as he was, he always held onto Dean's hands. And while Manow hadn't seen anyone yet, Team was positive she'd be the one making a bold move on the other.

 

"They're right." His friends made a move; how could Teerayu back down before

even starting?

 

"Yes! I'm making a move," Team shouted, jumping from his bed. He wouldn't wait around for Win. He'd go all out. You better watch your back, Hia. Here I come.

 

In the wake of the New Year, the students returned to their study mode, yet they had been too relaxed to do so. Unfortunately for the swimming club, their relaxed mode must be shelved, as a big event like the competition was soon to take place.

 

The university's swimming club was filled with members training from morning till evening, especially the representatives who would be competing with K University.

 

First year Team was no different. He performed so well today that the coach praised him.

 

"What happened during the New Year?" His fellow first-year and the club's representative asked. Today, Team had been jubilant all day. A began to wonder if he was high on coffee.

 

"Nothing?" Team shook his head, packing his things.

 

"But I bet you did. You're smiling all day." Bee, their other friend, jumped on A's back, and he almost face-planted into a locker.

 

"Damn you, Bee." A pushed his damned friend away. "Spill it, Team."

 

"Told you nothing happened." Team's eyes swayed to the club's vice president talking to the president nearby. "I've decided on something major, so I'm good."

 

A followed his friend's gaze, but he couldn't figure out why Team looked at the president and vice president.

 

"Good for you. I want to be as happy as you are, but my exam results barely passed. My parents almost ripped me open."

 

"You can do better next time. I'll help you. Bet it on my B grade in English." Team waggled his brows haughtily and closed the locker door. He waved goodbye to his three friends before catching up to the blond senior like usual.

 

"But I got a B+ in English!" A said, but it didn't reach Team. A blinked. If he wasn't mistaken, Team's smile and voice were even livelier than before.

 

"He looks so much happier now," Sea commented after changing. He noticed Team kept swimming until the vice president told him to rest.

 

"Yeah, I'm getting jealous. He's good, knows what he likes and knows what he wants," A mumbled.

 

"Do you want to be happy like him, too?"

 

Two baritone voices said in unison. A spun back to look at his friends. And it was just Bubble Bee and Sea exchanging glares...Was he missing something? A could only wonder.

 

Phink

Urg.

Phii, help me.

Gasp!!

 

Team woke up in a cold sweat. He gasped for breath and waited until it evened out. He wiped his face. 

 

Eleven at night. He knew his sleep wouldn't last long. After a long wait, the competition with K University is about to begin tomorrow. In the early evening, he tossed and turned, looked at the ceiling, counted ten folds of sheep jumping over fences and fell asleep until now.

 

Team stared at the ceiling, thinking about the senior up there… he'd probably needed this finest sleeping agent.

 

At 11 PM, on the tenth floor of the Tarn Tawan Dormitory, a figure in crumpled pyjamas, hugging a pillow, stood in front of room 1019. Stressed, he was about to knock, but lowered his hand in hesitation. What should I do? I might be bothering him. He's racing tomorrow, too. His tired eyes looked at the doorknob. His lips curled inward, debating with himself. If the door were locked, he'd go back to his room. If not...

 

Click

After turning the doorknob slightly, the door was easily opened, as if the occupant intended to leave it unlocked. Amidst the darkness in the room with the only light from the book table lamp and the low hum of the air conditioner, the person in the room lifted his head from his textbook. He spun his chair around and looked at the night intruder. Win flashed a smile, tilting his head.

 

"You're late," He said, opening his arms and gently beckoning as if calling for scared animals.

 

Team blinked away the burning in his eyes as he ambled in. He dropped his pillows on the bed and climbed onto Win's lap. He nuzzled into Win's shoulder, closing his eyes as Win wrapped his arms around him. Win's hands rubbed his back lightly.

He felt warm and safe every time.

 

"Told you to come to me if you can't sleep. You were trying to sleep on your own, right?"

 

Team nodded, dejected. Win knew him well.

"Sleep... forget about tomorrow."

 

"Hmm"

 

"You little rascal." The baritone voice soothed Team. The treacherous tears welled up again; Team had to breathe deeply to calm himself.

 

"Hia..."

He decided he'd no longer wait.

 

"After the competition... I have something to tell you."

 

The hoarse voice trembled. Phawin paused, caressing a shuddering back. He meant to push the other's shoulders back so they could meet eye to eye, but Team stubbornly buried his face on his shoulder. He didn't budge.

 

"What is that about?"

 

Team shook his head. "I'll tell you after the competition." Dark brows furrowed. 

 

After consoling the insomniac junior, Win himself found it hard to get a good night's sleep as his heart kept racing. The digital clock on the bedside turned one o'clock. Win didn't fall asleep. He slowly got up, trying his best not to wake the junior sleeping soundly.

 

"Sleeping like a baby."

 

The man shook his head, walking to the balcony. The cool breeze blew on his face when he slid the glass door open. Phawin got his mobile to make a call. There was only one who wouldn't be sleeping at this time.

 

Within three rings, the other end of the call picked up with a hoarse sound, indicating the person's grumpiness.

 

"Getting hot-headed over the game again? Hia Waan."

 

[Yeah, about to shoot him dead.. You're in the way. What's up?]

 

"Wanna finish that game first? I can call again later."

 

[Geez, you're such a...] Phawin mentally saw his brother rolling his eyes. [I'm taking a break. So fill me in.]

 

Phawin rested his arms on the balcony, looking at the low lights from old utility poles.

 

"Need to consult."

 

[A-ha. About your junior?]

 

Phawin lifted his brows. "How did you know?"

 

[You're anxious enough to call me at one in the morning. It can't be anything else. So what happened? You're dumped?]

 

"Fuck no!!!" He raised his voice before lowering it, realising the junior was sleeping nearby. "Today, he told me there's something I need to know."

 

[And?]

"I'm a little worried."

 

Waan glanced at the paused game. He typed in the chat box, telling his playmate he'd be gone for a while. Then he came back to focus on his brother.

 

[And you think what he'd tell you will be bad?]

 

[Are you guys boyfriends?]

 

Phawin's brows drew together. Neither Team nor he ever said that. 

 

“No.”

 

[What? You guys are stuck together. Don't tell me you're brothers. Are you an idol?] 

 

The voice was exasperated.

 

"Not brothers. He's a special person!" Win whispered in a strained voice.

 

[How special?]

 

"Well, I look after, care about him more than anyone.." Win glanced at his bed, where the subject he had discussed was sleeping. "And think about him more than anyone."

 

[Sigh...]

 

[...All that you do for him. Caring, paying attention and missing him. You do all of those because he's 'special' or because you really want to do it?]

 

Win was stunned; his throat constricted. He wondered what he did it for.

 

[Even if actions speak louder than words. But you gotta have your heart in it when you do things for him. If you're doing it for him in the name of a 'special person', you're no different from parents raising their child with money, not love. I say you should let him go.]

 

"It's not like that..." Win's eyes lowered to his hands, squeezing the balcony handrail. "What I do for Team, never once did I think it was my duty."

 

[Say, Win. How do you feel when you're with him?]

 

"Comfy, Hia. Happy. We can talk about everything."

 

[With Dean, you can talk about everything, too.]

 

"Hey! I don't see him that way!" Phawin jumped out of his skin, thinking about his poker-faced best friend. Whoa, that was cringey.

 

[What do you mean by that?]

 

"Like how I think of Team. It's different."

 

[So how do you think of Team?]

 

"I want to see his face, I want to hold him..." Win closed his eyes. He had so many memories of that rascal, be it eating, sleeping, or hanging out. It just dawned on him what he had always done alone; he did it with Team now. 

 

"I want to do everything with him..."

 

[More than a special person?]

 

"Yes, more than that."

 

Admittedly, Win wanted to win. At first, he only wanted to control the stubborn kid, but those feelings turned into concern. Little did he know when Team became a part of his life. Why didn't he realise that?

 

"Hia. I really like him. Like a lot."

 

A laugh sounded from the other end. 

 

[Win, I told you you're nice to everyone. You treat everyone equally except Team. You like him, so you use the word 'special to keep him to yourself, but you're worried about him running away from being your 'special person.' Am I right?]

 

"Fuck, you know too much."

 

[I've been your brother for years. I know about your possessiveness over things you value.]

 

Phawin ran a hand over his face, a weight lifted off his shoulders.

 

"Thanks, Hia. You're behaving like a brother just today."

 

[Oh, you. I'd curse for him to dump you.]

 

"I'm sorry, my beloved brother." Win pretended to be penitent.

 

[Phew, I'm done. I'm going back to my game. Remember, Team's not a girl; you don't have to be too sensitive. Be straight with him, got that? Good luck and don't get dumped.] He was gone as soon as he finished speaking, leaving Win to himself.

 

"He's such a bad mouth..." Phawin made a face, looking at the clock. It was almost two, and he had to sleep now for the competition the next day. He slid the glass door and placed his mobile on the headboard.

 

Before he got up on the bed, he smiled at the junior, patting over his pillow like he was looking for Win.

 

"So damn cute." He cursed to himself before climbing up the bed and wrapping the other up in his arms. He ran his hand through Team's hair until Team slept soundly again before whispering in his ear.

 

"Don't ever break up with me, you damn kid."

 

Instead of sleeping without a care in the world, Team, who had immigrated to his seniors' room, had a restless dream of the mean senior yelling at him to swim back and forth for a thousand meters, all night long.

 

After hanging up, Phudis, the eldest child of the Wanichakarnjonkul family, snickered after teasing his brother. He looked at his computer and changed his mind about going to bed; he returned to his online game. Let's not sleep tonight. Build a party, attack the fortress. He hummed when he got the hang of it.

 

[You're in such a good mood. Weren't you just hot-headed a few minutes ago?]

 

Waan frowned, seeing T-Rex online. He told him he'd be gone for a while, so he wasn't expecting the guy to wait up for him.

 

This guy was always here whenever he was online, like he knew whenever Waan would show up. In a good mood, they'd team up to kill monsters, but in a bad mood, he wanted to hit T. rex to death.

 

"Teasing someone made me feel better. Get lost if you don't want to end up being my victim." They used to chat over messages, but lately they've been talking over a mic.

 

It wasn't for anything. It was just easier to insult each other. T-Rex's character stood still, so Waan controlled his character away. This guy was not to be trusted.

 

[Are you a kid? Like teasing people.]

 

"Whoa. That's rich coming from you. Who tricked me, stabbed me behind my back, and assaulted me to death?"

 

The baritone laughed through the mic. [It's fun teasing you.]

 

"See? You're a kid, too. Hey, stop following me." Waan started to fume when T. rex's character followed closely behind him.

 

[Did you not stop to think why I keep teasing you?]

 

"How would I know, hey! You!"

 

Speak of the devil; his character was killed off. Waan was about to yell, but the words on the other end stunned him.

 

[You ever heard?]

 

The nervous voice lowered his tone a level.

 

[People tease someone because they're asking for attention.]

 

Waan's eyes flew wide open, his hands froze, and his brain went into a wild calculating mode on what he just heard.

 

Likes teasing = asking for attention.

T-Rex teased him every time = T-Rex asking for his attention.

 

[I like you. Could you consider this?]

 

"Whaattttt?"

 

That was way too straight in his face. Waan screamed internally. 

 

Is this flirting!? Besides, who'd like someone who always teased them? Is this guy a kindergarten kid!?