FUTTARA DOSHABURI - WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS.

 Translator note...

This was the first BL drama I ever watched, and I loved the characters so much that I spent weeks searching online for the novel. It was hard to find since I live in the UK. Some people offered English translations, but they charged for them. I finally found it on a Japanese online store, and FUTTARA DOSHABURI - WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS became my first ebook. I didn’t realise the novels were only in Japanese and thought they would be translated automatically, but they weren’t. As I’ve said, I only speak and read English, so please forgive any pronoun or spelling mistakes. I promise they aren’t intentional. A year ago, I was the only one with a free translation of these novels, and I still am. Please don’t copy and paste my translation or claim it as your own. I’ve added a few ‘hidden easter eggs’ so I can tell it’s mine. I’m sorry, but it took a lot of hard work to translate a Japanese book. Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed the book as much as I did.

When it Rains, It Pours. part 1.

The ninja jumps over the grass, which grows a little taller each day.

 

Hagiwara often thinks about this on sleepless nights. Even if the day-to-day changes are not significant, they accumulate and add up to a substantial height, such as the 45-centimetre-wide nightstand in this room right now.

 

Sideways at the small table, a single bed, the same single bed that Hagiwara was sleeping on, with Kaori sleeping with her back to him. Since they started living together two years ago, the two beds have been pushed together. Before I knew it, a gap the size of a pencil had appeared between them, and it gradually widened to the point where it was unnoticeable. Until last month, the table was stuck between them.

 

I can still clearly remember my girlfriend's big smile and her asking, "How is it?"

 

-The one I've had my eye on for a while is now on sale. It's perfect for storing things like half-read books and tissues, right? Hagiwara, please use it too.

 

Since when was "forever"? Never mind the book, do you even have tissues? I had a lot to say, but Kaori was smiling with such innocence that I ended up just nodding in silence.

 

Maybe they had been planning to do this "long before" they found the table. When they went to look at furniture before moving, Hagiwara had intended to buy a double bed. But Kaori insisted on putting two singles together. She said it would be easier to rearrange the room and that a double bed would require a lot of washing of sheets. At the time, I thought that was true and didn't give it much thought, so I followed her advice.

 

It's an ancient common sense that it's better to listen to a woman's opinion on things in the house to make things go smoothly, and I thought that whether it was a double or two singles, the things I had to do would be the same.

 

I wanted to lecture my carefree self of that day, but I never expected that the actions that were a part of everyday life when we lived separately would become such a far cry after we started living together. The soft, faint whiteness of the tissues in the wooden case on the table reminded me of a woman's bare skin, and I felt an itchy sensation in my lower body, and immediately felt sorry for myself.

 

The face of a classmate from junior high school who once tried to masturbate with a tissue box. What was his name again? Even that's a hazy point, but the memory of our pointless conversation is clear. Just the structure of the tissue box, with a slit in the middle, reminded him of a female body he had never seen before, so he tried to stick it in after emptying it, but it was just a square paper box, so it didn't feel good at all. Of course, I laughed out loud at him for being stupid, but I was pretty stupid at 27 years old to get turned on by a tissue.

 

Junior high school students rationally know that it can't possibly feel good, but they can't help but wonder what it would be like to try it. Adults tend to hesitate when taking on challenges, unable to muster the courage to reach out to their lover lying across a tissue used solely to blow their nose.

 

I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I'm on the early shift, I'm feeling a bit sick, I've got some belly fat ... I have a wide variety of excuses to choose from. Will it be released, or will a new version be released?

 

He was scared of the self that would say "I see" and back down for reasons like the direction of his pillow not being good according to feng shui, or the moon being very blue. He had learned a lot and should not give up in the face of discouragement, but his body's physiology was too unruly, and when he stared at the duvet, he could picture the lines of flesh. Gyōshi lying beneath it.

 

 The gentle curves of a woman. His desires were awakening his clairvoyance, but seeing something he could not touch made it all the more painful. Hagiwara rolled over in his sleep, as if to tear his gaze away from him, and faced the other way.

 

There was a window over there, and the sound of the rain falling seemed a little closer. I couldn't sleep. This is also the reason. Just below is the bicycle parking lot of an apartment building, and the sound of raindrops falling on the tin roof bounces up to the second-floor room with vigour. Countless little people are stomping their feet all over the place. It's so loud it feels like it's there.

 

When we first moved here, we used to listen to it while holding each other in our arms. We could even laugh at the complaint that the rain was noisy, and as we drew closer to each other, it no longer bothered us. In between periods of engrossment, we would suddenly remember that feeling.

 

"Ah, rain," as if dripping down, and I loved Zawasouzo, the sound of the rain hitting his ears was deafening and unpleasant, for it was gradually encroaching on his precious sleep time. If they had lived on a higher floor, they wouldn't even have had to endure such an ear-damaging experience. Hagiwara even began to simmer with dissatisfaction toward his partner, who dislikes heights, and sighed deeply. He couldn't hear it because it blended into the background.

 

How long had it been since I'd braved the rain on my own?

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

Kazuaki seemed to have gone out somewhere. Sei woke up to the sound of the front door closing and the lock and chain being fastened. The bed on the opposite side of the nightstand was empty. The bedding was neatly arranged, as you would expect from the meticulous Kazuaki. Is it a merit to say that anything Kazuaki does looks like a work of art, like the condiments lined up in the kitchen or the arrangement of clothes in the drawers?

 

After gazing at the orderly absence for a while, the door opened. He lifted his head and said, "Welcome home."

 

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Shopping?"

 

"Yeah. There was a magazine I wanted to read but forgot to buy, and I just had a dream about it. So I suddenly remembered and went to the convenience store."

 

"Did you find it?"

 

"No. I think they're sold out. There was an issue last month," Kazuaki replied as he changed back into his pyjamas.

 

"Didn't the other stores have it too?" 

 

"When you calm down, it's not worth going to such lengths right now."

 

"What is that?" Sei laughed a little.

 

"Sometimes I can't wait a beat between my impulse and my action. My body just started moving."

 

"It's good to have execution power, right?"

 

Yes, Kazuaki's agility and decisiveness in taking action on anything are what make him so great. I was saved, and I am loved.

 

"Thank you, that's how it is." Kazuaki gave a wry smile and said, "It was raining. So I came back without going on an expedition."

 

He could walk to the nearest convenience store without getting wet, and since the apartment building had an interior corridor, he probably didn't notice until he was outside. Sei also now knows.

 

"Maybe it will last until morning."

"I wonder. It's raining quite a bit now."

 

"Hmm ... Good night."

 

"Good night", Kazuaki lightly touched Sei's forehead with his fingertips as if in greeting and then moved away.

 

The tickling sensation rippled and spread. I closed my eyes for a moment, but opened them again right away. The room was filled with light, the floor lamp's brightness set to its minimum. The ivory curtains have a soft honey colour. It is hard to notice the rain if you are on the 35th floor of a tower apartment building. 

 

If the wind is strong, the raindrops will hit the glass on the wall, but the soundproofing of the double-glazed glass is impressive, and with two curtains separating them, you won't notice it unless a typhoon comes. Thoughts turn to the sound of rain. Naturally, it is produced when droplets hit the ground. So rather than the sound of rain, it is the sound of something receiving the rain.

 

Is rain that just falls without being absorbed anywhere silent? I imagine myself listening carefully from the top of a long, slender tower. The rain is far away from this house. Who was it that smelled that sweet scent that rose, wetting the earth?

 

How long ago?

 

When I started living here, I didn't particularly like the rain. It was dark, the room was humid, and it was just an obstacle if I had plans to go out. Waking up to the sound of rain in the morning was especially depressing.

 

The reason I feel so nostalgic now is that I'm still feeling stagnant. It's as if I'm keeping a muddy, murky swamp inside my body, and I want it to be washed away. The moment Kazuaki touched my forehead and said, "Good night," the surface of the thick swamp began to bubble.

 

I don't know who coined the word "accumulate," but it's an apt expression. It's so full that it seems to make a squelching noise every time I walk. No matter how many times I masturbate, it doesn't go away, so it's probably not just semen that's been building up.

 

If I suddenly died now, I would be unable to rest in peace because of my unpurified sexual desires, and I am sure I would turn into a slimy, human-shaped demon like ready-mixed concrete. My memory, thoughts, and conscience would melt away, and yet, dripping with ugly bodily fluids, Sei (or what was) would reach out and say, "I'm so sorry."

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

When Hagiwara arrived at the office and checked his email, he noticed a message from the General Affairs Department. The message read, "Resent / ID card reissue notice," and he gasped. 

 

It had been about two weeks since his ID card cracked, and he had applied for a reissue. He had received a notice a week ago that it had been reissued, but had forgotten about it and left it there. He rushed to the General Affairs Department and looked for the sender of the email.

 

"Good morning. This is Hagiwara from sales. Mr Nakarai is -- "

"Yes" 

 

The desk owner near the entrance to the building raised his hand. We were in the same year but in different departments, so we rarely met. Thanks to the employee directory distributed soon after I joined the company, I was able to match his face to his full name, "Hanai Sei." 

 

It's not much fun to look closely at a photo of a man's face, but his features were good enough that my fingers, which were randomly flipping through the pages, stopped in their tracks.

 

He looked like he would break down into smooth, even particles if crushed. His impression of a pure, handsome face, free from any hint of roughness or stickiness, has not changed even now, five years later. Ah, this guy doesn't seem to have sex, doesn't seem to ejaculate. I'm not interested at all. My thoughts drift in an inappropriate direction in the morning, and I feel like I've had trouble sleeping the night before.

 

I shook my head lightly to see if he was still standing and said, "I came to get my ID card." I spoke loudly on purpose.

 

"Well," he said bluntly in a monotone voice, and Sei looked at the desk drawer. Then he took out a new ID card.

 

"Here. Do you have your stamp?"

"Yes, thank you. Sorry, I'm late."

 

I always put it off because a temporary card for guests is enough. The only difference between this and a regular card is that you can't charge it with money to use at the cafeteria or coffee shop on the company premises. However, since I'm always out and about, I don't find it particularly inconvenient. I stamped the receipt and exchanged it for a guest card.

 

"Ah"

"What, did I do something wrong?"

 

"Well, I wish I had gotten a new face photo. Well, the photo isn't perfect, and I just had a bad haircut."

 

"See, look," I said, but Sei just glanced at me and replied emotionlessly, "It's the same." I was thinking, "This guy is hard to get along with."

 

"By the way," he said, turning his chair around.

"You had to reissue your card two months ago because it was damaged, right?"

 

"Ah, yes."

"Is that a bad thing?"

 

I point to the card case hanging from my neck, a dark brown leather one that Kaori had given me for Christmas.

 

"You're told to use the case provided by your company."

 

"Haa"

 

Yes, because the card itself was not very strong, I received a plastic hard case when I joined the company. But I didn't like it because it was tedious and difficult to use. It's more convenient to have a pocket on the back for spare business cards or small notes, and it's ridiculous for the company to specify it like a school rule.

 

"Oh, I don't really like it."

 

"I don't have any likes or dislikes for the things I use for work."

 

"Everyone just buys what they like and puts it in, right?"

 

"If that's okay, then you're free to do so, but Hagiwara has already broken it twice in a short period of time. There is a problem with either the owner's handling of the item or the case itself."

 

Or maybe both, he said in a sarcastic tone, which annoyed me a bit. After all, sleep is essential for peace of mind.

 

"Isn't it bad that the card is too worn out? If it's a defective product. Please file a complaint with the company."

 

"It would be quicker for Hagiwara to change the case than to improve the quality."

 

"Isn't it the role of the general affairs department to listen to these kinds of voices within the company?"

 

"We're not errand boys."

 

"But this is a gift from her." Sei frowned deeply, said "Who cares," and turned his back on me.

 

"If you break it again, I'll charge you the actual cost."

 

I don't know how much it costs, but I felt the urge to slam my wallet down and say, "Make about ten of them." But I won't. I feel like I've had more opportunities to "fantasise about things I can't do" like this recently. Is this a return to virginity? That's scary.

 

"Sorry for the trouble." As I tried to leave, I made an effort to sound as annoyed as possible.

 

"Hagi," someone called out.

 

"Yes?"

 

"I'll just say this while I'm at it, but the sales department isn't very good at separating their trash. Additionally, many people book conference rooms and then cancel at the last minute. Please let everyone know to be more careful before you get a written warning."

 

Isn't that the "who cares" response? Are you saying that to me now? I threw a pebble and got a pickle stone in return. But I was the one who started it, so I answered "yes" and left the General Affairs Department. Then, I almost slammed my card against the touch sensor on the door in front of the elevator hall, but I stopped myself. If I screwed up again, who knows what they'd say to me? 

 

When I returned to my desk, I had some time before the morning meeting, so I decided to check the internet for restaurants for next week's reunion.

 

It was customary to hold a drinking party every spring for all employees in the same department, to bid farewell to those leaving and to welcome those returning. The company also promotes lateral cooperation, so on that day, unless there was an emergency, everyone would leave at the usual time.

 

This year, Hagiwara was in charge of organising. Does gathering together as classmates mean meeting Sei again? For a moment, a thought of "ugh" crossed my mind, but when I thought back to past gatherings, I didn't remember seeing Sei there. About fifty people usually come, so I may have overlooked him, but it makes more sense to assume that he doesn't go because he doesn't like drinking parties. 

 

I mean, he's probably flipping through a foreign book in a room that looks like a photo shoot at Casa, where even the placement of every ballpoint pen is decided -- or maybe he's come full circle and living a life where the floor is so covered with garbage bags that you can't even see it. 

 

He pulls out a shirt from the pile, checks the dirt on the collar, and smells it.'

Maybe ... or maybe not. Either way, there's no room for femininity. Why is that so? Oh well, whatever. 

 

I selected a few restaurants on a gourmet portal site that were close to my office, reasonably spacious, and struck a good balance between taste and budget. I transferred the information to my mobile phone so I could check it out at home.

 

He didn't have time to check his personal phone all day, but when he got home and checked, he found that the restaurant information he had sent from his work computer hadn't arrived. Thinking that something was odd, Hagiwara accessed the page he had looked at in the morning again and realised his mistake. 

 

The system was supposed to require you to enter the information before the "@" sign in your mobile phone address, and then select your carrier from a pull-down menu, but he had forgotten to set that and sent the email. If there hadn't been an error, then the restaurant information email would have been sent to someone else with the same address but a different carrier. Something shady that could be misunderstood if someone sees it, so I'm sure they'll just delete it, thinking it's a mistake. Kaori is coming back. And Hagiwara quickly forgot about it.

 

"I'm home."

"You're home late."

 

"Yes, a regular customer came running in because her nail had broken. I was going to close it down, but I had no choice."

 

"Hmm. What do you do in a situation like that?"

Cracks:

 

"Even though it's cracked, it's only a surface crack, so I hardened it with acrylic from above and let it dry. I scrape it down and sharpen it."

 

"It feels like a repair."

"Yeah"

 

I wish I could fix my ID card like that, so I wouldn't have to get so many complaints.

 

"What about the food?"

 

"I just had tea with the manager, so that's fine. What about Hagiwara?"

 

"I heated the pizza and ate it."

 

"I see. Sorry. I'll make something proper tomorrow since I can get home early."

 

"Yeah"

 

While Kaori is taking a bath, he sees her cell phone left unprotected on the table. There was an unexpected customer. She was having tea with the manager ... These were her girlfriend's self-reports, with no evidence to support them. However, Hagiwara doesn't doubt Kaori's words and doesn't think to check her cell phone.

 

I know a man who makes his partner call him at regular times when they are out drinking and report the situation with pictures, and I'm strangely impressed that they don't get tired of each other. Why does he believe Kaori's words and actions? 

 

It's because he believes in her love. She won't betray Hagiwara by hooking up with another man. It's not that he thinks he's such a good guy, but considering her personality, the fact that they've been together for five years, and the fact that they are now living together, he doesn't feel the need to restrict her. 

 

Indeed, you can't know until it happens to you, but both Kaori's infidelity and my infidelity were completely unexpected. But one question arises in my mind. Then why?

 

I turned up the volume on the sports news to escape my thoughts. Kaori comes out, wiping her wet head with a towel.

 

"When is the reunion?"

"Next Friday"

 

“Then can I go out that day too? I'll be invited to Ayako's new house.”

 

"Ayako?"

 

"Oh, yeah."

 

Kotobukitai Ayako is a senior colleague from the salon where Kaori works, who retired last year to get married. Her partner is a doctor ... I nod, my head's search engine working.

 

"It's amazing that it's about 100 square meters on the top floor of a tower apartment building."

 

The sound of rain on the tin roof won't even reach them.

 

"Are you sure you're okay? You're scared of heights."

 

"It's fine, as long as the blinds are down. Apparently, she's planning to open a salon in her home once things have settled down a bit. I'm not sure I can do that, but I'm sure it would be amazing to have your nails painted while taking in the view. That sounds great, and I'd love to open a salon in my own home one day. I'd only have about three customers a day, and in return I'd spend a lot of time caring for them and giving them massages."

 

I'll put in a chair, put on some music I like, and burn some aromas. Kaori's eyes sparkle and are beautiful as she talks about her dreams. I want to make them come true.

 

"The top floor of the tower is out of the question."

 

"No, I don't want that. The management fees for tower apartments are so high. It's expensive because it comes with a concierge and a guest room."

 

"Hmm."

 

"It seems stupid to waste money on something like that. It's good to be envious."

 

"I see"

"So, let's just do our best, okay?"

 

"learn"

"n/a"

 

Kaori was sitting between Hagiwara's legs, who was relaxing on the sofa. It is the fixed position.

 

"Have your nails grown?"

"So-so."

 

"Let's see"

 

I looked over my shoulder at Kaori's fingers as she took both of my hands and stared at them intently. Her nails were a blur of pink and light green. They were always a small canvas, painted in some way. I suddenly realised that it had been a long time since I had seen her bare nails. Decorating them beautifully was part of her job, and she was also proactive in taking on the housework without hesitation, so I had no complaints.

 

Naked nails and naked bodies. Which was the last one you saw?

 

"You're still okay. Then I'll get you ready before the reunion."

 

"Kaori"

 

The hair smells so good after it is washed. I'm drawn to it and bury my nose in it. I pushed aside the damp layer and smoothed her nape. I tried to hug her from behind, but Kaori quickly stood up.

 

"I need to use a hair dryer. I'll catch a cold."

 

An unnaturally bright voice. It was always the same when she was dodging Hagiwara.

 

"Hagiwara, you're going to take a bath now, right?"

...... ah"

 

Hagiwara is never able to take the next step here. When I think about what would happen if I told him, "Why are you running away? I want to hold you," I get strangely scared. I don't want to do anything uncool like showing it on my face.

 

Holding the hair dryer under her arm, Kaori retreats to the bedroom, but a single finger does not touch me.

 

The smell of women's shampoo still lingered thickly in the small bathroom. Just to muffle the noise -- I didn't have to worry about being heard -- I twisted the shower bar and reached for my genitals. It was convenient to have sex in the shower, but it was a pain to have to wash the drain cover afterwards, or rather, it was lonely.

 

Right now, I am not in the mood to think about that. The cold water from the low-positioned shower head hit my shins, raising goose bumps, but the temperature gradually rose, and as my hands moved, my legs began to warm up.

 

The question I had previously suppressed, "Why?" came back to me, like a pachinko ball. Hard and small, it bounces around in my head forever, with nowhere to fall. There is love between the two of us. There is trust and compassion in our daily lives and in the future.

 

They have blueprints, a house to live in together, and joint savings. Why is sex the only thing missing? I put one hand on the wall and with the other I stroke my genitals. I look down and let out a rough breath. The excitement wrapped in my palm is pitiful and foolish. I grit my teeth.

 

At the last moment, he purposely let go. He let out as much as he could. A Cloud Of sticky white liquid, the embodiment of Hagiwara's frustration, stuck to the cold mirror, shuddering slightly and dripping down heavily. Breathing heavily, he opened the door and roughly grabbed several tissues from the bathroom and wiped the shower. 

 

It wasn't fun at all. The pleasure in his body and his head were completely separate, and the temperature difference couldn't be made up. Cutting open the swollen wound and squeezing out the pus would undoubtedly make him feel better, but the effect was short-lived, and the wound continued to hurt, and the pus continued.

 

I washed my head and scrubbed my body to shake off the guilt I felt for having tainted Kaori's traces with my desire. When I went to the bedroom, the lights were already out. Kaori's futon was rising and falling regularly. She might have been pretending to be asleep, but there was no point in checking that.

 

I went to bed and spent a while browsing news sites on his phone, when I suddenly remembered the email I'd mistakenly arranged in the morning: my own address, plus the carrier's domain at the top of the pull-down menu. 

 

Compose a new email. There was no real meaning or reason to it. It was just a way to kill time. Anything that would save him from having to end the day with fruitless masturbation was fine, and he just had a convenient device at hand, and it was a pain to contact friends and acquaintances. Inoffensive with excuses. He spells out the text with his fingertips.

 

‘Sorry for messaging so late’