FUTTARA DOSHABURI - WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS.

 Translator note...

This was the first BL drama I ever watched, and I loved the characters so much that I spent weeks searching online for the novel. It was hard to find since I live in the UK. Some people offered English translations, but they charged for them. I finally found it on a Japanese online store, and FUTTARA DOSHABURI - WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS became my first ebook. I didn’t realise the novels were only in Japanese and thought they would be translated automatically, but they weren’t. As I’ve said, I only speak and read English, so please forgive any pronoun or spelling mistakes. I promise they aren’t intentional. A year ago, I was the only one with a free translation of these novels, and I still am. Please don’t copy and paste my translation or claim it as your own. I’ve added a few ‘hidden easter eggs’ so I can tell it’s mine. I’m sorry, but it took a lot of hard work to translate a Japanese book. Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed the book as much as I did.

When it Rains, It Pours. part 1.

The ninja leaps over the grass, which grows a little bit each day. Hagiwara often thinks about this on sleepless nights. Even if the changes from day to day aren't significant, they accumulate and add up to a considerable height, like this 45-centimetre-wide nightstand in this room right now.

 

Glancing sideways, I see a small table beyond which is the same single bed where Kaori sleeps, with Kaori sleeping with her back to me. When we started living together two years ago, the two beds were right next to each other. Over time, a gap about the width of a pot brush formed between them, and it gradually crept in so slowly that it was almost imperceptible, until finally, last month, the table was shoved in between them. I can still clearly remember my lover's beaming smile as he asked, "How is it? I've been eyeing this for a while, and it's on sale now. It's perfect for putting books you're reading or tissues in, right? You should use it too, Ichiken.

 

"For a long time"? Since when? And aside from the book, do you really need tissues? I had so much I wanted to say, but Kaori was smiling so innocently that I just nodded silently.

 

Perhaps they had planned this long before they even found a table. When they went furniture shopping before moving, one of them intended to buy a double bed. But Kaori insisted on using two single beds pushed together. She said it would be easier to rearrange the furniture, and that washing the sheets on a double bed would be a huge chore. At the time, I thought that made sense and went along with it without much hesitation. It's common sense, since ancient times, that household matters go more smoothly when you listen to the woman's opinion, and I thought that what you have to do wouldn't change whether it was a double or two singles.

 

I wish I could scold my carefree self from that day, but I never could have predicted that something that was a part of our daily lives when we lived separately would become so far away once we started living together. The soft, pale whiteness of the tissues in the wooden case on the table made me think of a woman's bare skin, and I felt a strange tingling sensation in my lower body. I immediately felt pathetic for thinking that.

 

The face of a middle school classmate comes to mind, who tried to masturbate with a tissue box. What was his name again? Even that is vague, yet the memory of that stupid conversation is vivid. Just the structure of having a slit in the middle made me imagine a woman's body I had never seen, and after emptying it out, I tried to stick it in, but it was nothing more than a square cardboard box, so it apparently wasn't enjoyable at all. Of course, I laughed heartily, thinking what an idiot I was, but I guess I was pretty bad too for getting turned on by a single tissue at the age of 27.

 

Middle schoolers, while rationally acknowledging that it couldn't possibly feel good, can't resist trying it anyway. Adults, on the other hand, hesitate to take on challenges that are likely to be fruitless. They lack the courage to reach out to their lover lying beyond the tissues, which are no longer used for anything other than solving math problems.

 

I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I'm on the early shift, I'm feeling a bit under the weather, I've gained a little weight around my stomach... Will they choose from their stock of excuses, or will a new one pop up? I'm scared of myself for backing down with a simple "Oh, okay", even if the reason is something like "It's my unlucky day," or "The direction of my pillow is bad according to feng shui," or "The moon is really blue." I should have learned a lot about disappointment and giving up, but my body's physiology is just too uncooperative, and as I stare at the duvet, I see the real body lying beneath it.

 

I can't help but picture her. The gentle curves of a woman. Desire almost awakens my clairvoyant abilities, but seeing something I can't touch only makes things worse. Kaori rolls over in her sleep, as if to tear my gaze away, and turns to face the other side. That was the window, and the sound of the continuing rain seemed to get a little closer. This was also one of the reasons I couldn't sleep. Just below was the apartment building's bicycle parking area, and the rustle of raindrops hitting the corrugated iron roof bounced up vigorously all the way to my second-floor room. It was a deafening bang, bang, bang... like countless little people stomping their feet in a chaotic mess.

 

When we first moved in, we would hug each other and listen to it. We could complain about the noise of the rain. I could laugh and say it, and as we became more intimately intertwined, I stopped noticing it. Between the light rain, I would suddenly remember it like a drop of rain, and I loved that feeling. But now, the sound of rain hitting their ears is simply deafening and unpleasant, slowly encroaching on their precious sleep. If only they lived on a higher floor, they wouldn't have to endure this irritating noise, and even resentment towards their partner, who is afraid of heights, began to simmer, causing one of them to sigh heavily.

 

I can't hear anything either.

How long ago did I start listening to the rain alone?

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

Kazuaki seemed to have been out somewhere. Sei woke up to the sound of the front door closing and the lock and chain fastening. The bed opposite him, across the nightstand, was empty. The bedding was neatly arranged, just as you'd expect from the warm-hearted Kazuaki. Is it just my imagination, or does everything Kazuaki does look like a work of art, from the condiments lined up in the kitchen to the arrangement of clothes in the drawers? As I gazed for a while at its orderly absence, the door opened. Lifting only its head, it said, "Welcome back."

 

"Sorry, did I wake you?" 

 

"Shopping?"

 

"Yeah. There was a magazine I wanted to read but forgot to buy, and I just dreamt about it. That suddenly reminded me, so I went to the convenience store." 

 

"Did you find it?"

 

"No, it looks like it's sold out."

 

"I still had last month's issue," Kazuaki replied, changing back into his pyjamas.

 

"Didn't they have it at any other stores?"

 

"When I think about it calmly, it's not something that needs to be done to that extent right now."

 

"What is that?" Sei smiled slightly.

 

"Sometimes I can't seem to pause between impulse and action. My body just moves on its own." "But having the ability to act is a good thing, right?"

 

Yes, Sei was saved by Kazuaki's quick thinking and decisiveness in putting anything into action, and he loved him, too.

 

"Thanks, it's all in how you say it," Kazuaki said with a wry smile, adding, "It was raining. So, I came back without going on the expedition."

 

I could get to the nearest convenience store without getting wet, and since it's an apartment building with an interior corridor, I probably didn't notice until I went outside. I just found out about it now, too.

 

"I wonder if it will continue until morning."

 

"I wonder. It was raining quite heavily just now."

 

"Hmm... Good night."

 

"Good night"

As if greeting him with his fingertips, Kazuaki lightly touched Sei's face and then pulled away. The ticklish sensation spread like ripples.

 

I turned the light off for a moment, but then immediately turned it back on. The room's floor lamp was set to minimum Orange brightness. The interior is filled with a quiet orange glow. Beyond the ivory curtains, now the soft colour of honey, rain is falling. From the 35th floor of a high-rise apartment building, it's hard to sense the rain. If the wind is strong, raindrops will hit the glass walls, but the double-paned glass is remarkably sound-dampening, and with two layers of curtains drawn, you wouldn't notice it unless a typhoon was coming.

 

Sei pondered the sound of rain. It was, of course, caused by raindrops hitting something on the ground. So it's not so much the sound of rain as the sound of something receiving it. Would rain, falling without being absorbed anywhere, be silent? I imagined myself listening intently from the top of a tall, slender tower. The rain is far away from this house. How long ago was it that I smelled that sweet scent rising from the soil?

 

Before I lived here, I didn't particularly like rain. It was dark, it made the room damp, and it was nothing but an obstacle if I had plans to go out. Waking up to the sound of rain in the mornings was especially depressing. But now, I feel an overwhelming longing for the past, perhaps because I myself am stagnant. It's as if I'm harbouring a murky, muddy swamp inside me, and I want it to be washed away. 

 

The moment Kazuaki touched my forehead and said "Goodnight," the surface of the thick swamp began to bubble up. I don't know who coined the word "accumulate," but it's an appropriate expression. It's accumulating so much that it seems like it would gurgle every time you walk. No matter how many times you release it through masturbation, it doesn't get rid of it, so it's not just semen that's accumulating.

 

If I were to die suddenly now, I'm confident that my unpurified sexual desires would prevent me from finding peace, and I would transform into a slimy, humanoid, concrete-like evil spirit. My memories, thoughts, and conscience would melt away, yet still, my former self would reach out and say, while sloshing ugly bodily fluids everywhere.

 

Touch it.

Daite.

Please.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

One day, as I was checking my emails upon arriving at the office, one from the general affairs department caught my attention. "[Resend] / ID

The subject line, "Notification of Card Reissuance," made me exclaim ", Oh no!" About two weeks ago, I had requested a replacement for my ID card because it was cracked. Then, a week ago, I received a notification that it had been issued, but I completely forgot about it and left it there. I rushed to the general affairs department and searched for the sender of the email.

 

"Good morning. This is Hagiwara from sales. Mr Hanai,

 

"yes"

 

The person in question, who was sitting at a desk near the entrance, raised his hand. We were colleagues who joined the company at the same time, but we rarely saw each other because we were in different departments. Thanks to the employee directory distributed shortly after I joined the company, I could match his face to his full name, "Hanai Sei." Looking closely at a man's face isn't particularly enjoyable, but his features were so striking that my fingers, which were casually flipping through the pages, stopped involuntarily. He had the kind of face that, if crushed, would turn into smooth, uniform particles. The impression of his unpretentious beauty, devoid of any rough or sticky connotations, remains unchanged even five years later.

 

Ah, this guy doesn't seem like the type to have sex, doesn't seem like he'd ejaculate, doesn't seem interested at all. My thoughts drifted in directions inappropriate for the morning, and I shook my head lightly, wondering if it was due to last night's insomnia, before deliberately raising my voice and saying, "I've come to pick up my ID card."

 

"Because it sounds like a normal voice."

Speaking curtly in a monotone voice, Sei took a new ID card from his desk drawer.

I took it out.

 

"Here. Did you bring your stamp?"

 

"Yes, thank you. I'm sorry I'm late."

 

I kept putting it off because the temporary guest card was sufficient. The only difference from the regular card is that I can't load money onto it to pay at the company cafeteria or coffee shop, but I don't find it particularly inconvenient since I'm always out and about. I stamped the receipt and received a brand new card in exchange for my guest card.

 

"Ah"

 

"What, did I do something wrong?"

"I wish I'd gotten a new photo for my profile picture. This one doesn't look very good, and I just got a bad haircut."

 

"Look, look," he said, showing it to Sei, but Sei just glanced at it and replied emotionlessly, "It's not any different."

 

Just when I was thinking, "This guy's hard to approach," he turned around, chair and all, and said, "Hey, you know., You had to get a replacement card issued the month before last because yours was damaged, right?" 

 

"Ah, yes."

 

"Isn't that a bad thing?"

 

He points to the card case hanging around his neck. It's made of dark brown leather, a Christmas present from Kaori.

 

"You've been told to use the case provided by the company, haven't you?"

 

"Huh?"

 

Yes, perhaps because the card itself wasn't very durable, I also received a hard plastic case when I joined the company. But I didn't like it because it was bland and inconvenient to use. A type with a pocket on the back to hold spare business cards or small notes would be more convenient, and it's ridiculous to have a company-specified type like a school rule.

 

"I don't really like that."

 

"I don't have any preferences when it comes to things I use for work." "Everyone buys and uses what they like, right?"

 

"If that's not a problem, then that's fine, but Hagiwara broke it twice in a short period of time. There's a problem with either how the owner handled it or the case itself."

 

Or maybe both, he said sarcastically, which annoyed me a little. Sleep is really important for peace of mind.

 

"Isn't it a problem that the card is so worn out? It's a defective product. Please have General Affairs file a complaint with the supplier."

 

"It would be faster for Hagiwara to change the case than to improve the quality."

"Isn't it the role of the general affairs department to gather this kind of feedback from within the company?"

 

"We're not a delivery service." 

 

"But this was a gift from my girlfriend."

 

Sei frowned deeply and said, "I don't care," before turning his back on him.

 

"If you break it again, I'll charge you for the actual cost."

 

I don't know how much it would cost, but I was tempted to slam my wallet down and tell them to "make about ten of them." But I didn't. It seems like I've been having a lot more opportunities lately to "fantasise about things I can't do." Virgin

A return trip? That's scary.

 

"Sorry for the trouble."

 

As I tried to leave, drawing out the end of my sentences to sound as irritating as possible, I was stopped by someone calling out, "Hagiwara!"

 

"Yes?"

 

"While I'm at it, the sales department is lax with sorting their trash. Also, they cancel meeting room reservations way too often. Make sure everyone is careful so they don't get a written warning." 

 

Isn't that exactly the kind of thing I should be saying, "I don't care"? And you're telling me that now? It feels like I threw a pebble and got a pebble back. But since I'm the one who started the job, I replied "Yes, sir" and left the general affairs department, almost throwing my card at the touch sensor on the door in front of the elevator hall, but I stopped myself. If I ruined it again, I don't know what kind of trouble I'd get in.

 

When I returned to my seat, I had some time before the morning meeting, so I checked online for restaurants for next week's get-together with my colleagues, partly to clear my head. It's a tradition every spring for colleagues from the same graduating class, regardless of department, to get together to say goodbye to those who are transferring and welcome back those who are returning. The company encourages interdepartmental cooperation, so unless something extraordinary happens, they let us off at the scheduled time on that day. This year, it was my turn to organise it.

 

If we all get together as classmates, does that mean I'll see Sei again? For a moment, the thought of "ugh" crossed my mind, but thinking back, I don't recall ever seeing Sei at any past gatherings. 5

 

About ten people are coming, so I might have just overlooked it, but it makes more sense to assume that he doesn't come because he dislikes drinking parties. You know, I bet he's flipping through foreign books in a room like something out of a Casa magazine photoshoot, where even the placement of a ballpoint pen seems to be planned, or maybe living in a place so full of garbage bags you can't even see the floor is also kind of appealing. He might pull one out from a pile of shirts, check for dirt on the fabric, and smell it... No, that's not right. Either way, I wonder why there seems to be no room for any female presence in his life.

 

Oh well, whatever. I picked out a few restaurants from a gourmet portal site that were close to the office, reasonably spacious, and seemed to strike a good balance between budget and taste, and transferred the information to my phone to consider them at home. I didn't have time to check my personal phone all day, but when I got home and checked, the store information I had sent from my company computer hadn't arrived. That's strange, I thought, and accessed the page I'd seen that morning again, realising my mistake. 

 

The system was supposed to require entering the part of the mobile phone address before the "@" symbol, and then selecting the carrier from a dropdown menu, but I'd forgotten to configure that part before sending. If it hadn't resulted in an error, the restaurant information email would have been sent to someone else with the same address but a different carrier. Well, it's not like it contains anything so indecent that it could be seen by someone and cause a misunderstanding, so I'm sure they've deleted it, thinking it was a mistake. As soon as Kaori came back, one of the dogs quickly forgot about it.

 

"I'm home!"

"Welcome back, you're late."

 

"Yeah, one of our regular customers rushed in because her fingernail had broken. We were about to close the shop, but I had no choice."

 

"Hmm. What do you do in situations like that?"

 

"Even though it's cracked, it's just a surface crack, so we'll solidify it with acrylic from above, let it dry, and then sand it down."

 

"It feels like a repair job."

 

"Yeah"

I wish I could fix my ID card like that. Then I wouldn't get complaints like that.

 

"What about food?"

 

"I had tea with the manager, so I'm fine. What about the other one?" "I heated up some pizza and ate it."

 

"I see. I'm sorry, I'll be able to come home early tomorrow so I can make something proper."

 

"Yeah"

 

While Kaori was taking a bath, I looked at the cell phone carelessly left on the table. There was an unexpected customer. She was having tea with the manager... These were her boyfriend's self-reported claims, with no evidence to support them. However, Hagiwara doesn't even think to doubt Kaori's words or check her phone.

I know a guy who makes his girlfriend contact him at regular intervals when she's out drinking, and sends her updates with photos, and I'm strangely impressed that they don't get tired of each other. The reason he's doing so much for Kaori is that he's borrowing her love. She won't betray me to connect with other men. I don't think I'm such a great guy, but I appreciate her character, the five years we've been together, and the fact that we're living together now.

 

Given that she exists, I don't feel the need to restrict her. You could say that you won't know until it happens to you, but Kaori's infidelity and my own infidelity are both completely beyond what I could have imagined. However, one question does arise in my mind.

So why?

 

I turned up the volume on the sports news to escape my thoughts. Soon, Kaori came out, wiping the scent from her head.

 

"When is our class reunion?"

 

"Next Friday"

 

"Oh, I see. In that case, can I come out that day too? I've been invited to Ayako's new place."

 

"Ah, yes."

 

Ayako-san is a senior colleague who left the salon where Kaori works last year, and her partner is a doctor... (I'm trying to figure it out)

"It's amazing to have about 100 square meters on the top floor of a high-rise apartment building." I bet you can't even hear the sound of rain on the corrugated iron roof.

 

"Are you sure you're okay? You have a fear of heights."

 

"I'll have them lower the blinds, so it's fine. She said she's going to open a salon at home once things calm down a bit. I can't do it, but getting your nails painted while looking at the view must be amazing. I'd love to open my own salon under my own name someday. I'd only have about three clients a day, and in return, I'd spend a lot of time on the care and massage."

 

I'll make an effort to get a nice chair, put on her favourite music, and burn some aromatherapy oils... I think Kaori's eyes sparkle beautifully when she talks about her dreams. I want to make them come true.

 

"The top floor of the tower is out of the question."

 

"No way, I don't want that. I hear the management fees for luxury high-rise apartments are really expensive. They come with things like a concierge and guest rooms."

 

"Hmm."

 

"It's stupid to spend money on something like that. It's just right to visit occasionally and admire them."

 

"I see"

 

"So, let's just do our best on our own, shall we?"

 

"Yes"

 

Kaori settled comfortably between my legs while i relaxing on the sofa. It was her usual spot.

 

"Have your nails grown?"

 

"So-so"

 

"Let's see"

 

I looked over her shoulder at Kaori's fingers as she held one of the animal's paws and examined it intently. The colour of her nails was a blend of pink and light green, as if smeared together. They were always like a small canvas, adorned with some kind of colour. I suddenly realised it had been a long time since I'd seen her bare nails. Decorating them beautifully was part of her job, and she didn't hesitate to do housework either. I have no complaints because they willingly take on the task.

Naked fingernails and a naked body. Which was the last one I saw?

 

"You're still okay. I'll get you ready before the reunion."

 

"Kaori"

 

The freshly washed hair smelled wonderful. I buried my nose in it as if drawn to it. I parted the damp layer and smelt it smoothly to the nape of the neck. He tried to hug her from behind, but Kaori quickly stood up.

 

"I need to use a hairdryer. Otherwise, I'll catch a cold." Her voice was unnaturally cheerful. It was always like that when she avoided intimacy.

 

"You're about to get a bath, right?"

"…··ah"

 

One of them just can't seem to take that final step. He wonders what would happen if he said, "Why are you running away? I want to hold you," and the thought scares him to an absurd degree. He doesn't want to do anything uncool like showing his displeasure or disappointment on his face.

 

"Please turn on the bathroom dryer switch."

 

I couldn't even touch Kaori as she retreated into the bedroom, the hairdryer tucked under her arm. The lingering scent of women's shampoo still hung heavily in the small bathroom, enveloping me completely. I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't worried about being heard, just to muffle the sound, but I turned the shower lever and reached for my genitals. Having sex in the bathroom is convenient only when it comes out, but washing the drain cover afterwards is a hassle, or rather, a sad thing. But right now, even thinking about such things felt like too much effort. 

 

Cold water splattered onto my shins from the low-positioned showerhead, causing chills, but the temperature gradually rose, and my lower body grew hotter with each movement of my hands. Why? The thoughts I had suppressed earlier resurface. They are hard and tiny, like a pachinko ball, bouncing around in my head endlessly, with nowhere to go. There is love between the two of them. There is also trust and consideration. They have a plan for their daily life and their future, a house to live in together, and joint savings. But why is it that sex is the only thing that's completely missing? I lean one hand against the wall and frantically stroke my genitals with the other. I lower my head and let out ragged breaths. The arousal I feel in my own hand is pathetic and foolish. I grit my teeth.

 

"......tsu"

Then, in the final moments, I deliberately let go. I let it all out into the steam-filled mirror. I had materialised a pent-up frustration. The thick, milky white fluid clung to the cold mirror, trembling slightly, and dripped heavily. Breathing heavily, I opened the door and roughly pulled out several tissues from the bathroom and wiped the mirror. It wasn't fun at all. The physical pleasure and my mind were completely disconnected, and I couldn't bridge the temperature difference. Cutting open the swollen wound and squeezing the waist would certainly provide relief, but the effect was only short-lived; the wound continued to hurt, and the pus continued to accumulate.

 

To shake off the guilt of defiling Kaori's traces with my desires, I scrubbed my hair and body vigorously. When I went to the bedroom, the lights were already off. Kaori's futon was rising and falling regularly. It might be true, but even if we confirm it, it won't accomplish anything. One of them went to bed to avoid, and the other scrolled news sites on his phone for a while, but then he suddenly remembered an email he had accidentally sent earlier in the afternoon. 

 

His own address, plus the carrier's domain at the top of the dropdown menu...

hmm.

I drafted a new email. There was no particular meaning or reason. Just to kill time. Anything would do to avoid ending the day in a barren, unproductive state, and I just happened to have a convenient email app on hand, and contacting friends and acquaintances with an excuse not to get out of the car was a nice touch. I type the words with my fingertips.

 

"I'm sorry to bother you so late at night."

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

"We have a film crew coming in next week for an interview," Kazuaki said after dinner.

 

"When?"

 

"It's Friday. I only have time from evening to night, so it might not even be finished when Tsuna gets back."

 

"So, you're making a detour somewhere?"

 

Kazuaki worked in product design, and as his reputation grew, not only his products but also he himself began to attract attention. In interviews about his creative process, and in his own work, he painted gold pictures of his personal belongings, which he himself did not particularly like. Although not exactly, he seemed to accept it as part of his sales work. Sei was looking at Kazuaki's expressions, as captured by a professional, and at his work. I like being able to catch a glimpse of the mode's harmony.

 

However, this location is a little inconvenient every time. Kazuaki says, "Just don't worry about it." He says it's just that he's living with a friend from his student days, and this is Sei’s house too. But I don't think it's that simple. If it were just two men, or at least if Sei was a business associate, it might be understandable, but he's just an office worker at an electronics manufacturer. It would be impossible to tell them not to look through their glasses. In the 2LDK apartment, they show only the living room and Kazuaki's study/workroom to outsiders, and they certainly don't let anyone into the bedroom. Even so, Sei hides the cups and toothbrushes in the bathroom, puts his shoes in the shoe closet, and makes a point of eliminating the smell of his own life. And each time, Kazuaki gets a little annoyed.

 

"Why? There's no need to waste time like that. I'll introduce you to the editor. He's a pretty interesting person, so I think you'll get along well with him."

 

"Okay."

Sei shook his head.

 

"It's a hassle for the editors if they have to be introduced to every single person who's staying with them."

 

"I'm not a freeloader."

 

All I could offer in response to Kazuaki's words was a vague smile. It was true. It had been over five years since Sei had moved into the apartment Kazuaki had inherited from his parents. I'd talked about leaving many times, but each time I'd been scolded, admonished, or soothed, and I'd never even gotten to the point of packing. I didn't have many belongings to begin with, and if I really wanted to, I could have just run off with the clothes on my back, but I didn't. Perhaps, in the end, I just wanted him to stop me.

 

Although a fixed amount was being transferred from his salary each month, it was clear that Kazuaki wasn't touching it. I often wonder, what exactly am I? I live comfortably in a high-rise apartment in the city centre. I have a job, but I could quit tomorrow, and no one would complain. I am fulfilled. Both materially and emotionally. Anyone I tell would surely be envious. I am, so to speak, blessed with a fortunate life.

Is he a weirdo?

He just wanted to be confined and have a proper hand on him. That was Sei's only wish, not for a place to live or money. If he were told not to step outside even once, he would do so, and he wouldn't mind a life where he only ever saw and spoke to Kazuaki. But Kazuaki doesn't want that at all. He sees him as a dear friend, someone more than just family. There's absolutely nothing suspicious about it, which is why he can casually say, "I'll introduce you."

 

"We have a reunion with our classmates on Friday."

 

As he carried the finished plates to the sink, Sei said, "This is perfect timing, I'll just drop by. I've been slacking off for a while now, so my boss has been giving me a hard time about it."

 

"There's no need to force yourself to go to a gathering you don't want to attend," he said, a typical non-salaryman remark.

 

"No, it's not that it's impossible, I just kind of ignored it."

 

To put it simply, I wanted to go home early and spend time with Kazuaki rather than go drinking with my colleagues. Even when Kazuaki was holed up in his workroom, I wanted to feel his presence under the same roof.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah"

 

Standing next to me, our clothes lightly brush against each other. Just that alone makes my emotions well up and feel a little painful.

 

"...Okay, I'll do the dishes."

 

"Why"

 

"You look like you want to get to work quickly." 

 

"Was I really that distracted?"

 

Kazuaki lowered his eyebrows awkwardly. His gentle appearance, the kind that would never argue or get angry with anyone, took on an animalistic charm, and Sei smiled, thinking how cute he was.

 

"What is it?"

"You're not absent-minded. There's just a restless feeling in the air... Maybe it's because we've known each other for so long."

 

"It's not long at all," Kazuaki said.

 

"Not yet."

 

I nodded. I wasn't lying. I hoped it would continue like this. A quiet life where the noise of the outside world couldn't reach. Because I love Kazuaki. The dish slipped from my hand, which was covered in soap suds, and fell. Luckily, it landed in a silicone washbasin, so no serious damage occurred. I was relieved to see there were no cracks or damage, and then I remembered what had happened at work.