FUTTARA DOSHABURI

part 10.

Hagiwara swallowed everything so deeply that, for a moment, he threw his head back, holding his breath and avoiding Sei's searching gaze.

 

"Hey... what's wrong?"

 

"...J-Just now... that line was unfair... I thought I was going to cry."

 

He let out a small laugh, but the tension in Hagiwara's abdomen rippled beneath Sei's hand. Seeing that, Sei covered his mouth. He wanted to be comforted. He wanted to be reassured.

 

"Really? You honestly think so?"

 

"I do. I'm not lying. Even if Hagiwara told me himself... I still wouldn't think you're dirty or a bad person."

 

"..."

 

Hagiwara shook his head without lifting it.

 

"But..."

 

His shoulders trembled slightly.

 

"Hagiwara."

 

"It's okay if you don't move anymore."

 

For the first time, the face Sei saw wasn't about to cry anymore. Instead, it looked strangely calm.

 

"Yeah."

 

With a small nod, Hagiwara relaxed little by little, allowing him to sink deeper inside him. Their bodies rose together, and he fled the unfamiliar sensation by pressing his face into the mattress.

 

"Ah..."

 

The living warmth rubbing against his inner walls lasted only a few seconds before it shifted in the opposite direction, drawing an involuntary cry from him.

 

"Ah..."

 

As it happened again and again, friction steadily built heat inside him, until every corner of his body felt soaked in pleasure.

 

"Mm... ah... ah...!"

 

This time it wasn't just his neck that tightened. The new stimulation squeezed around him from within, layering fresh sensations over the places Sei had already found with his fingers.

 

"Ah...! Ngh..."

 

Every time Sei made a particularly forceful movement, the bed creaked loudly beneath them. Hagiwara could no longer control himself, bouncing helplessly against him.

 

Had it only been precum? Or perhaps semen already?

 

A clear strand stretched between them whenever Sei withdrew, never quite breaking no matter how far he pulled back. The sticky sensation made Hagiwara think he couldn't possibly climb any higher.

 

But Sei wouldn't let him escape.

 

"Hagiwara..."

 

Unable to bear hearing his name spoken in that desperate voice, Hagiwara wrapped both arms tightly around him. He had already reached what he thought was his limit, yet each deep thrust only drove him further beyond it.

 

"Ah... ah... ah...!"

 

The wet embrace was even more overwhelming than the pleasure itself, and cries spilt uncontrollably from his lips. His thrusts remained short, but powerful. Each one struck true, pushing him relentlessly toward the peak.

 

The pressure building low in Hagiwara's stomach connected to the organ buried deep inside him, tightening with every breath he took.

 

He knew he was about to climax. Any moment now...Just one more… At the very instant he sensed himself beginning to fall over the edge—

 

"Ah... ah... ah...!"

 

A fierce thrust accompanied by a deep groan sent him over completely. At the same time, warmth spread slowly inside him as Sei held him tightly, leaving no space between them.

 

Still clinging together, Hagiwara reached his climax as well.

 

"...Ah, Hani..."

 

Hearing his own name spoken in that hoarse voice for the first time, Sei had no intention of letting him go. After several more releases, Hagiwara finally relaxed his grip.

 

They took turns showering before collapsing into a short sleep. Since the bed hadn't been used yet, Hagiwara quickly changed the sheets before crawling back in beside him. Somehow, sleeping together felt more embarrassing than the sex itself, and neither of them managed to say much.

 

The next morning, they woke almost simultaneously when Sei's alarm rang.

 

"...My stomach's growling."

 

"Yeah."

 

The two exchanged a smile.

 

"I'm hungry."

 

Thinking about it made Sei laugh quietly. Hagiwara narrowed his eyes at him in mild confusion.

 

"Let's go downstairs and eat."

 

When Hagiwara looked at the breakfast voucher that had been handed over with the room key, his eyes widened.

 

"This was a room-with-breakfast plan?"

 

"I didn't know it was that expensive. Why?"

 

"No... I was just wondering why my stomach was so hungry this morning. Now it makes sense."

 

"If you spend the whole night doing that, of course you'll wake up hungry."

 

"No wonder."

 

As long as he was alive, Hagiwara seemed to know these things better than Sei.

 

"Hani... aren't you embarrassed at all?"

 

"Half and half. I can't really tell how much of it's the picture book and how much is you."

 

He took off the shirt he'd thrown on and looked over his own body. Even though only a few hours had passed, there were marks everywhere. His waist still felt heavy, yet somehow it all seemed almost unreal. He couldn't believe this man had been holding him so intimately only a short while ago.

 

The restaurant was on one of the upper floors, overlooking a wide stretch of grey city beneath cloudy skies. It looked as though rain could start at any moment.

 

"It's gloomy."

 

"Yeah."

 

Yet somehow the rain only sharpened his appetite. Looking at the bright red cherry tomatoes on Sei's plate, Hagiwara murmured,

 

"They're red."

 

It felt strange, almost like waking from a vivid dream and being forced back into reality. Even so, if eating this meal meant they could part afterwards without regrets...Neither of them held back. They piled their trays high with freshly baked bread, huge bowls of soup, bacon, sausages, vegetables, and one dish after another.

 

"Looks like some company dinner."

 

"The project wrapped up? Or maybe the planners disappeared."

 

"It must've been a good half-year. It'd be nice if the company rewarded everyone."

 

"Our president loves company events."

 

As they chatted idly over coffee after breakfast, neither wanted to be the one to suggest going back to the room. Perhaps because saying, "Well then..." would make everything that had happened feel as though it had never existed.

 

Or perhaps because neither of them wanted the aftermath of that night to end so abruptly.

---

 

"Let's get going."

 

"So, Hani... what should we do about the umbrella?"

 

"We'll buy one at the convenience store on the way."

 

As he imagined Hagiwara buying a vinyl umbrella and then throwing it away as an unnecessary purchase after making peace with Kazuaki, he was, for some reason, made sad.

 

"Then the umbrella belongs to Hagiwara too."

 

"I suppose."

 

"That'll do."

 

After straightening his shirt, Sei stood up first.

 

Just as he was about to leave the room—

 

"...What's wrong?"

 

The hand on the doorknob was covered by Hagiwara's.

 

"Weren't you going to say goodbye?"

 

He asked lightly, trying to hide how reluctant he was. If he did that, Hagiwara would probably apologise. Sei had expected as much. Yet Hagiwara's hand only tightened around his, and the chill in his fingers sent a sharp ache through Sei's chest.

 

"Hey."

 

"Yes."

 

"I already know you'll say something ridiculous whenever times like this come."

 

"..."

 

"I don't want to hear you say you can't come home yet."

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"I'm serious."

 

"That's why it's bad. If you stay out all night again, your family will think something's wrong."

 

"I'll email them. I'm not a child anymore. They'll understand."

 

"It isn't about that."

 

Before he knew it, Hagiwara was holding both of Sei's arms firmly. Sei was frightened. Realising how much reassurance that embrace gave him only made him aware of how inexperienced he still was.

 

"Hold me one more time."

 

Was this desire?

 

Or was it something else?

 

"Ah..."

 

As Hagiwara breathed him in, tiny sharp sensations spread through him like needles tinged with pain and pleasure. Hagiwara buried his face against his neck, then reached for the buttons of Sei's shirt one by one. His fingers tugged at the fabric, and Sei had to warn him,

 

"Don't rip it."

 

"If Hani will make me feel like an adult..."

 

For the first time, Hagiwara stopped advancing with the hesitation of someone afraid to cross a line. Instead, he became strangely forceful. Sei felt a little happy. So this was what it felt like to be desired by someone who knew his heart.

 

He murmured,

 

"You smell nice."

 

"What?"

 

"I'm glad you've started eating properly."

 

Without answering, Hagiwara traced the back of Sei's ear with the tip of his tongue. A faint current shot down the back of his neck. What had seemed like a tiny spark spread through his whole body, gradually melting the cold stiffness that had settled inside him.

 

"So Hani... that's what it's like."

 

"Huh?"

 

"See?"

 

The moment fingers slipped beneath the front of Sei's shirt and brushed against his nipple, a pleasant shiver ran through him.

 

"Mmm..."

 

"I remembered."

 

He remembered how good it had felt to be touched there. Setting aside his embarrassment, Sei surrendered himself to Hagiwara's touch, allowing the growing warmth to melt through him.

 

"You said it first."

 

"Worst..."

 

Just beneath the lips exchanging childish words, there was a hand that moved without hesitation. His waist was pulled firmly forward, trapping both his hands against the door behind him.

 

The keycard, still inserted in the slot, made no sound. Instead, the only noise came from Hagiwara unfastening Sei's belt, the quiet clicks echoing strangely loudly.

 

"Ah..."

 

Sliding his jeans and underwear down together, Hagiwara immediately reached behind him with his fingertips. There wasn't even the slightest resistance.

 

"Good."

 

With one hand caressing the curve of his waist, Hagiwara smiled softly.

 

"You're still so soft."

 

"Well... maybe that's because you just came inside me..."

 

"What are you getting angry about?"

 

"Idiot... ah...!"

 

He'd thought he'd already emptied himself in the bathroom, yet something warm still clung inside him. As Hagiwara's fingers slid in, he could feel it clearly. His body instinctively tensed, trying not to make a sound.

 

"...Ah..."

 

He caught sight of himself reflected in the dull wooden door. His own hand, gripping Hagiwara's shoulder. The other hand already wrapped around his erection, slick with what had stained it moments ago.

 

If he looked any closer, he would learn too much. It was enough to feel the wetness pressing softly against his sensitive flesh. If his expression changed with desire, Hagiwara would surely notice.

 

"Ngh..."

 

As the fingers slowly withdrew, his body closed around them with reluctant regret. The angle shifted, pressing even deeper, drawing another helpless moan from his throat.

 

"Hagiwara, n-no... ah..."

 

"What? Why?"

 

"If you're going to treat me like an adult..."

 

For a moment, Hagiwara hesitated, but only for a moment.

 

"...I can't stand anymore."

 

"I'll support you."

 

"Th-that's not what I..."

 

Without listening, Hagiwara wrapped both arms around Sei's waist and held him firmly while supporting his legs.

 

The heat of his erection had only just begun to build when two fingers reached the very centre of him before he could tighten around them.

 

"Ah... ah... ah..."

 

The place where the man's shape had spread inside him greedily accepted the foreign presence.

 

"...It feels good," Hagiwara whispered.

 

Before he knew it, their tongues had become entangled. As they licked each other without restraint, the boundary between their bodies gradually disappeared.

 

"Ah..."

 

"Don't move."

 

"Okay."

 

The embarrassment from where their bodies had joined faded, replaced by a quiet, growing intimacy.

 

"I told you first."

 

"...You really are the worst."

 

Just as he leaned in to steal another kiss, the tip of Hagiwara's fingers brushed a particularly sensitive spot.

 

"Ah... ah... n-no... not there..."

 

He jerked violently against Hagiwara, frightened by how intensely his body responded.

 

"D-does it feel good?"

 

"Y-yeah..."

 

"Then..."

 

Before he could finish, Hagiwara's movements grew bolder. The wet sounds of their bodies, along with his own rising voice, echoed clearly in his ears. Hearing Hagiwara breathing heavily, aroused by nothing more than the sounds they were making together, only made Sei's body burn hotter.

 

They were in a hotel. Anyone could walk past the room. When that thought crossed his mind, Hagiwara suddenly froze.

 

"Wait... someone's coming..."

 

The moment he whispered it, Hagiwara went completely still.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

Only the sound of their breathing remained.

 

His hand instinctively covered his mouth, trying to suppress every sound, while the pulsing sensation beneath his skin only intensified. At the same time, his erection twitched with each short, involuntary stroke Hagiwara made.

 

"...Ah..."

 

The doorstop was directly in front of them. Though the door was thick and sturdy, the blurry shadow of someone passing through the small frosted window made it clear that someone had walked by. For an instant, he wondered if the occupant of this room had noticed them.

 

Were they really having sex in a place like this? The thought itself was enough to excite him. The wet flesh gripping Hagiwara so tightly only drew him in deeper.

 

"...Mmh..."

 

As the warm hand covering his mouth slipped away, an involuntary sigh escaped his lips.

 

"Hah..."

 

Still plugging himself with both hands to keep anything from staining the door, Hagiwara supported him through each slow thrust. His body trembled. The hand that had been slick with his own release gradually pulled away, leaving behind a faint, breathless moan.

 

"Ah... not yet..."

 

When they finally broke apart, Hagiwara grasped Sei firmly by the elbow. Because his trousers were still tangled around his knees, he couldn't walk properly and was hurried back toward the bed.

 

He collapsed onto the crumpled sheets, still half undressed, before Hagiwara slipped between his knees without another thought.

 

Just as Sei thought Hagiwara was about to push inside him again, Hagiwara caught hold of his wrist.

 

"Ah..."

 

The semen clinging to Sei's palm was carefully licked away, as though it were something precious. He had no reason to be embarrassed anymore, yet all he could do was watch in silence. His face burned.

 

With his right hand still buried beneath Sei's lower abdomen, Hagiwara took the tip of his already-spent erection into his mouth. The faint sensation of being sucked drew a quiet tremor from him. There was no roughness, only a gentle, careful rhythm, as though Hagiwara wanted to savour him.

 

"...Hah... ah..."

 

Even now, Hagiwara's lips moved with simple, unwavering devotion. His tongue swirled around the swollen head before taking him back into his mouth, then withdrew and repeated the motion.

 

Each stroke brought another dense wave of pleasure, made even more intense by the closeness of their bodies. Pinned against the sheets while feeling the warmth of Hagiwara's back, Sei let himself drift into the sensation.

 

"H-Hagiwara... put it in..."

 

He wanted him to stop thinking so much and thrust into him. He wanted him to enjoy himself.

 

"Ah... after this... I want to kiss..."

 

Those words left Hagiwara smiling against him.

 

"I don't have to stay like this?"

 

"...I want you to."

 

"Afterwards... can we do it like that too?"

 

"...Me too."

 

The moment he was pulled into Hagiwara's embrace again, all the anticipation he'd been suppressing finally overflowed. Hagiwara's erection twitched as well. It was so sensitive now that merely being inside him was enough to fill Sei with pleasure, and he couldn't help wondering if Hagiwara felt the same.

 

"Ah... ah... ah...!"

 

Although they had finally reached what they wanted, the lingering regret that it would soon be over only grew stronger. 

 

With one hand, Hagiwara reached toward the mobile phone resting on the headboard beside Sei's face. He picked it up and held down the power button.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

"So tomorrow morning..."

 

"That's all?"

 

"Simple is best."

 

"I suppose."

 

"If we're staying like this..."

 

"Then I'd rather be the same as you."

 

"...The power's off."

 

Neither of them said anything more. After exchanging a glance that needed no words, Hagiwara lifted the receiver of the room telephone that had already been prepared beside the bed.

 

"...Mm."

 

He started to move his hips slowly. Just as Sei was about to tell him to stop because the timing was terrible, Hagiwara covered his mouth firmly with both hands.

 

"I'd like to request an extension to our stay..."

 

"I'm sorry, but we don't allow extensions."

 

It was a perfectly ordinary reply.

 

Even so, with only the lower half of his body uncovered, Sei couldn't help repeatedly searching for every point that melted him with pleasure.

 

"..."

 

"What about changing rooms?"

 

"Certainly. Thank you very much for staying with us. Housekeeping is currently cleaning the rooms, so if you'll wait outside for a short while..."

 

The receptionist politely continued explaining, but as soon as Hagiwara quietly returned the telephone receiver to its cradle, Sei pulled the pillow over his own head.

 

"What was that?"

 

"A room change."

 

"..."

 

"As expected, we'd lose our reservation if we stayed any longer. We were just a little too late."

 

"I see."

 

"It's probably for the best."

 

Hagiwara smiled as he lowered Sei gently onto the bed.

 

"Then let's make you feel even better."

 

"Ah... ah...!"

 

He pulled Sei's legs up against his chest, spreading them wide as he thrust deeply between them again. The firm strokes rubbing back and forth only heightened the pleasure. Every time the tip pushed against that spot, Sei's voice grew more desperate.

 

He wanted him to hold him tighter.

 

He wanted him to go deeper.

 

With every movement, Hagiwara's hips drove harder, their bodies fitting together perfectly.

 

"Mm... ah... ah... ah..."

 

Outside the window, rain pattered softly against the glass. Only then did Sei notice. For a brief moment, he looked toward the frosted card-key holder mounted beside the door. Then he glanced back at Hagiwara.

 

So... it was raining here too.

 

"...Fufu."

 

Hagiwara laughed quietly at the expression on his face.

 

"Huh?"

 

"That radio report... maybe it wasn't talking about somewhere else after all."

 

Sei didn't answer.

 

Silently, Hagiwara wiped the sweat from Sei's damp forehead. Without another word, he continued making love to him, and Sei accepted him in return. Afterwards, neither of them spoke any more than necessary.

 

How many times had they done it? He couldn't remember. They hadn't eaten lunch or dinner. At some point they'd both fallen completely asleep from exhaustion. Wrapped tightly around one another, they'd made love in countless positions, their desires never quite satisfied.

 

Perhaps the longing that had been held back for so long had finally broken free, consuming them completely. Or perhaps Hagiwara had become so absorbed in Sei that he no longer knew when enough was enough.

 

Whenever Sei felt a new kind of pleasure blooming somewhere inside his body, Hagiwara would gently press further, as though trying to discover every last place that could make him tremble.

 

A sense of fulfilment, completely free of guilt, gradually sank into them as they melted together. Until now, neither of them had ever experienced feelings like these with anyone else.

 

After such a long time enduring loneliness, perhaps this was simply what it meant to find someone whose body matched your own.

 

If guilt towards Kazuaki no longer remained, and his lingering kindness towards Kazuaki had faded too, then all that was left was the sound of the rain.

 

The steady rainfall spread across the ground before the hotel, rippling the puddles as though Tokyo itself were slowly sinking beneath the water.

 

Their floor was quiet.

 

To confirm it, they embraced once more beneath the closed storm window.

 

"...What time is it now?"

 

"Four-thirty in the afternoon."

 

"So late..."

 

"I skipped work," Sei murmured.

 

Then, after a moment, he smiled wryly.

 

Of course it was Monday.

 

As a working adult, he probably looked hopelessly irresponsible for neglecting his responsibilities.

 

"I really am just an ordinary salaryman."

 

"So am I."

 

He no longer wanted to go to work.

 

But he knew he couldn't simply stop because of one selfish decision.

 

No matter how unreasonable or irrational it felt, reality would eventually drag them back.

 

They both had to return.

 

To separate places.

 

The two of them headed for the hotel bathhouse to shower together one last time.

 

"It'll be a shame if the hotel bus gets filthy."

 

His shoulders and knees still ached as he stretched.

 

"You're rubbing your voice raw."

 

"Ah... Hagiwara... do you have any cash?"

 

"About twenty thousand yen."

 

"That should be enough."

 

"I'll pay by card."

 

"If we split it between the card and cash, it'll save us about half the ATM fee."

 

"Then let's do that."

 

Sei answered quietly, lowering his eyes.

 

After such a long wait, he could tell Hagiwara was beginning to feel lonely again.

 

He didn't want him to go home.

 

The feeling was the same for Sei.

 

Even if it was only a short trip, the thought of leaving this place made him remember the ceiling of the hotel room they had slept in together and feel unexpectedly lonely.

 

It was like watching the last traces of a wound fade away.

 

Just as even the largest puddle eventually evaporates beneath the sunlight, until no trace of it remains.

---

 

"Hirai."

 

He gently drew Sei into his arms, helping him up onto his knees.

 

That alone was enough to make his intentions clear.

 

"...Come here."

 

The moment Hagiwara's fingertips brushed the damp skin of his back, his erection hardened again.

 

Guiding him with slow, familiar movements, Hagiwara led him toward the tip that had been supporting his waist only moments ago.

 

"Ah..."

 

The instant it touched his entrance, Sei's breath caught. His body shuddered, wanting to take him all the way to the base as quickly as possible, but Hagiwara paused, deliberately showing restraint.

 

"...Because you said this hurts."

 

"Hmm..."

 

He traced his fingertips lightly along the line of Sei's spine. Hagiwara's body trembled slightly as he looked up at him.

 

Even a man's body could possess such beautiful curves.

 

"Are you scared?"

 

He trusted Hagiwara.

 

Even so, the uneasiness wouldn't disappear completely.

 

It wasn't simply a matter of experience. Yet Sei chose to entrust his vulnerable body to the promise Hagiwara had repeated again and again—that they would stay together.

 

"...I don't really understand why."

 

"Hmm..."

 

They kissed slowly.

 

The hot water made him feel slightly numb, but deep inside him he could still feel Hagiwara's semen slowly flowing back out.

 

"...Ah... mm..."

 

Really, he had almost reached orgasm from the shame alone.

 

Hagiwara embraced him, rocking his hips gently against him. The buoyancy of the water allowed for rougher movements than before, yet the friction itself felt softer, and each glide of his erection through Sei's slick walls was conveyed with startling clarity.

 

It was, of course, partly because of his state of mind.

 

Two bodies pressing together so tightly made him vividly aware of every point where they connected.

 

Perhaps, as people grew older, they gradually learned these kinds of instincts.

 

Or perhaps sex itself was simply something that could never be mastered in a single lifetime.

 

The two of them had never known each other before, and yet they had shared a night like this.

 

"Ah... ah... Hagiwara..."

 

Had he grown accustomed to the unfamiliar sensations? Or had Hagiwara's way of moving changed?

 

Even if the timing slipped a little, it only deepened the pleasure. The moment their movements aligned perfectly, waves of bliss rushed through his shoulders and spine.

 

He wanted him.

 

He wanted to give himself completely.

 

At the same time, he wanted to receive everything Hagiwara had to offer.

 

To him, nothing else in the world existed.

 

"Mm... ah... ah..."

 

Supporting Sei beneath the shoulders, Hagiwara slowly moved him up and down.

 

Responding to the rhythm, Sei instinctively tightened around him, wrapping the foreign warmth inside his body as though he never wanted to let it go.

 

---

 

"Ah... ah... ah...!"

 

His cries echoed through the narrow bathroom, and just as they reached their climax, Sei came again in shuddering waves.

 

For a while they remained joined together, trying to steady each other's ragged breathing.

 

He couldn't tell whether the moisture running down them was sweat or water.

 

Without warning, Hagiwara pushed his tongue into the hollow above Sei's collarbone.

 

"Wah..."

 

The unexpected touch stole his breath, and Hagiwara's expression turned strangely sorrowful.

 

It was such an unguarded smile that Sei couldn't help noticing.

 

"So you'll show me a face like that too."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Just for a moment."

 

Hagiwara finally withdrew from him.

 

Although he'd been soaked in hot water, he suggested,

 

"Maybe we should take another shower."

 

"I'm really sorry. I wasn't paying enough attention."

 

When Sei apologised with complete sincerity, Hagiwara immediately replied,

 

"You don't look sorry at all."

 

"It hurt."

 

"Because you're huge."

 

"I don't mind."

 

"Oh... is that so? Then... sorry, sorry."

 

"That doesn't sound very apologetic."

 

"Haha."

 

His lips met Hagiwara's naturally, almost by instinct. The warmth of the humid room made him close his eyes. It wasn't a kiss asking for more. Nor was it a kiss meant to end with a kiss.

 

It was simply a quiet kiss that marked the end of everything that had happened between them.