EXTERN

Chapter 26

 

Knock, knock, knock.

 

“Kan—”

 

“Yes, Mum?”

 

I opened the door without waiting for Mum to finish speaking and stepped out of my bedroom with the tall man beside me. He kept his head lowered, refusing to say a single word.

 

“What were you two doing in there?”

 

“Do you really want to know, Mum?”

 

I widened my eyes and gave her my most innocent look. Worry was written all over her beautiful, age-defying face.

 

“Er… come downstairs, sweetheart. I made dessert.”

 

Mum hurriedly spoke and immediately walked away, clearly deciding she didn’t want to know anything more. The love bites left by the person beside me, scattered all over my neck and chest, were probably answer enough.

 

“It’s already late. Why don’t you just stay here tonight?”

 

The pot-bellied man cheerfully asked his best friend without consulting the scowling lady beside him even once. 

 

Ever since we’d come downstairs from my bedroom, Mum had been pulling that face. Meanwhile, the two older men were sitting there grinning knowingly at each other. Per sat quietly without saying anything at all.

 

As for me… I wanted to hold him all night.

 

“Darling!”

 

“It’s all right, Krieng. We’ll be seeing each other again… often.”

 

Per’s father interrupted my mother, then exchanged a mischievous, knowing look with Dad. The two of them chuckled together, making the only woman at the table grimace in annoyance.

 

“Per, say goodbye to Kan. That’s enough for today.”

 

Mr Kawin smiled cheerfully at everyone while I looked up at the person beside me, wanting to throw a tantrum. Why couldn’t he stay longer?

 

Just stay with me. Life had been exhausting and chaotic lately. This doctor wanted someone he could cling to and be spoilt by… Was that really too much to ask?

 

“Kan… let go of his arm. He’s going home.”

 

Mum’s stern voice made me realise I was gripping Per’s arm. Our eyes met briefly before I reluctantly let him go.

 

…I didn’t want him to leave.

 

Did he really have to go?

 

“…I’m going now.”

 

The deep voice above me spoke softly while I stared down at my feet, not wanting to look at anyone.

 

Who knew when we would see each other again? Even if we could talk on the phone, it wasn’t the same as actually being together and seeing each other face-to-face.

 

Couldn’t we stay like this?

 

Even just a little longer would be enough.

 

Suddenly, warm arms wrapped around me. The warmth surrounding my body made tears well in my eyes before I could stop them.

 

Why did things have to be like this? Our responsibilities already kept us apart enough. Why did our families have to make everything even harder?

 

I loved him. I wanted to be with him. I wanted him to be the person standing beside me.

 

So why did everyone make it seem as though what we were doing was some terrible sin?

 

“Don’t cry…”

 

“…I don’t want you to go.”

 

My muffled voice against Per’s warm chest probably made it obvious just how much I was crying, and how much snot was probably involved too. I tightened my arms around him, unwilling to let him disappear anywhere.

 

“We’ll see each other again soon.”

 

“How soon is soon? Is it five minutes? Can’t it just be right now?”

 

I knew I was being incredibly childish, but I genuinely missed him. We hadn’t spoken properly for such a long time, and I didn’t want to start our relationship all over again.

 

I didn’t want to let go of his hand, not even for a second.

 

“Doctor, you’re going to drive me insane… Please stop crying.”

 

“…”

 

“Please?”

 

I nodded against his broad chest. Right now, I didn’t care what the people around us thought. This was who I was now. I was dating Per, and I couldn’t see how our behaviour was any different from that of any other couple.

 

“Mm.”

 

I finally let go and walked away without turning back to look at anyone. Right now, I want to be alone. I wanted to fall asleep and forget everything. I wished none of this had ever happened. But even if I could turn back time, I would still choose to be with Per.

 

Knock, knock.

 

I lay face-down on the bed without moving, refusing to respond to anything. How many bloody times have I cried today? My life is fucking dark!

 

“Kan.”

 

I just wanted to rest. I didn’t want to know or feel anything anymore.

 

Mum’s sweet voice called my nickname. The mattress dipped beside me, telling me she had sat down next to me. It was already quite late.

 

“Do you really love him that much, sweetheart?”

 

That question again.

 

It sounded as though she cared about my feelings, but in reality, she didn’t.

 

Mum didn’t care whether I loved him or not. In the end, she would choose whatever she believed was best for me without caring about what I actually wanted.

 

“Right now, you might simply be infatuated with him. I believe one day you’ll meet a good woman who’s right for you.”

 

“Hic!”

 

The only response Mum received was a sob escaping my lips. I buried my face deeper into the pillow and bit my lip until I could taste blood.

 

“Is he the reason you’re crying like this?”

 

“…”

 

I shook my head desperately, trying to deny it. But believe me, Mum wouldn’t understand.

 

“If it were someone I chose for you, she certainly wouldn’t make you suffer like this.”

 

“You’re right, Mum…”

 

I lifted my face from the pillow and pushed myself upright, looking at the woman in front of me.

 

At the very least, I needed to say something today. I needed Mum to understand how I felt.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“The person you choose for me wouldn’t make me miserable, and neither would the person I choose for myself.”

 

I looked directly into her eyes.

 

“Because the person making me miserable… is you, Mum.”

 

“KAN!”

 

The moment the words left my mouth, Mum shot to her feet, glaring furiously at me. She must have been incredibly angry.

 

Call me a bad son if you want, but I only had one life. Surely I deserved the right to choose something for myself, just one thing that wasn’t decided by my mother.

 

“It’s because you’re dating that boy, isn’t it? He’s the reason you dare speak to your mother like this!”

 

I turned towards the window, no longer wanting to argue with her. No matter what I said now, Mum wouldn’t understand because she was already prejudiced against Per despite barely knowing him.

 

“It has nothing to do with him… but I want you to understand something.”

 

I turned back to her.

 

“No matter what happens, I choose Per. I’ve given in to you about everything else in my life, Mum, but I’m asking for just one thing… this one thing.”

 

My voice trembled.

 

“Whether Per and I stay together in the future or whether we eventually fall apart, can’t you at least let me be the one who decides?”

 

I looked at her pleadingly, but it seemed she wasn’t willing to listen at all. Mum immediately walked out of the room, ignoring every word I had said.

 

…What was I supposed to do?

 

“You’re doing your rounds early today, Doctor Kan.”

 

I gave the nurse on the morning shift a friendly smile. There were only a few occupied beds on the ward, so I’d decided to finish my rounds early and then go and rest.

 

Weekends were supposed to be for relaxing, after all. Better to give the nurses their orders early than leave them waiting until late morning and make them have their lunch late. I felt sorry for them.

 

“I was lonely, so I thought I’d hurry over and see you, ladies. At least there’s something beautiful here to refresh my heart. Hahaha!”

 

I teased the nurses as usual. Most of them were around my mother’s age, but let me tell you something: being nice to nurses makes everything go much faster.

 

“Oh, please! Everyone in the province knows how popular Doctor Kan is. Madam certainly isn’t going to let you stay single for long. Soon enough, there’ll be girls lining up for you to choose from.”

 

I gave her an awkward smile.

 

She wasn’t wrong.

 

Right now, I was wondering who Mum would arrange for me to meet next. She was probably stepping up her search.

 

My parents were fairly prominent figures in the province, which was another reason I’d received no shortage of approaches, from the daughters of business owners and MPs to even the governor’s granddaughter.

 

Naturally, that suited Mum perfectly.

 

As for Dad, he was unwavering. If it were up to him, his son-in-law could only be the son of his best friend.

 

Per.

 

“Just let Mum choose whoever she wants. It makes her happy.”

 

I spoke pointedly and smiled at the nurse before writing down the medication orders and signing my name.

 

Rrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

“Yes?”

 

Speak of Mum, and she calls.

 

Siiiiigh!

 

I hadn’t spoken to her at all since last night. I’d deliberately left home early this morning to do my rounds and had planned to spend some time at a café in the shopping centre afterwards.

 

For some reason, I was sick of being at home. Sitting somewhere with a cup of coffee and a good book sounded much better.

 

[Come and have lunch with my friend’s daughter today.]

 

“What time?”

 

This wasn’t the first time. In fact, during the month when I hadn’t been able to contact Per, Mum had repeatedly tried to arrange meetings between me and her friends' daughters.

 

[Noon… at the Japanese restaurant in X shopping centre.]

 

“All right.”

 

That was all I could say. It didn’t matter anyway. I never pursued anything further with any of them.

 

I glanced at the clock and saw it was only nine in the morning. In that case, maybe I’d go for a drive.

 

Just as I was walking towards my car, my phone started shrieking again. I reluctantly answered.

 

“Yes?”

 

[I think his arm is broken.]

 

“What?!”

 

My face practically twitched.

 

What the hell, Dad?!

 

What kind of joke was this?

 

Whose arm was broken?!

 

[I was about to get crushed when the cupboard fell over, but—]

 

Beep!

 

I hung up and sprinted towards the car at full speed, starting the engine immediately.

 

It was Saturday, so the factory was closed, but Dad loved sneaking in to work by himself without letting any of the workers help him. 

 

According to him, it was their day off.

 

Dad was bloody stubborn!

 

The moment I pulled up outside the factory, I jumped out and ran inside carrying my first-aid bag. I’d even brought equipment for making a temporary splint.

 

“Dad!”

 

“Over here!”

 

I shouted as I ran towards the area near Dad’s office. There wasn’t a single employee inside the factory today.

 

Then I spotted a shiny bald head reflecting the fluorescent lights and immediately rushed towards it.

 

“Dad! Oh!”

 

I blinked rapidly in confusion.

 

My father was sitting there smiling happily, looking as though life couldn’t possibly be better.

 

Beside him, however, was a man so handsome that anyone passing by would have turned around for a second look. But his current condition had me worried.

 

Per was dressed in a shirt and fitted trousers, sitting there, clutching his arm, with an expression that showed he was in considerable pain.

 

“I reckon his arm’s definitely broken,” Dad announced.

 

I glanced around, trying to work out what had happened, before kneeling beside the tall man, who gave me an awkward smile.

 

“What the hell were you two doing? And why were you here alone together?”

 

I carefully removed Per’s shirt and examined his injured left arm. After an initial examination, it seemed his shoulder was only slightly dislocated. Nothing appeared fractured or broken, and there was no sign of nerve damage. He just needed to rest his arm.

 

“I brought little Per here to show him around the business. Then I climbed up to get something from the top of the cupboard, but my belly knocked into it. The cupboard tipped over and fell. Luckily, little Per jumped in and saved me.”

 

“What?!”

 

I looked at the poisonous little snake smiling sheepishly at me. And he hadn’t thought to tell me any of this?!

 

“Well, I’m getting old. You’re a doctor, so who’s going to take over the business after me, eh? I need to find myself a successor. Besides, since we’re all going to become one family anyway…”

 

“Wait for your grandchild, Dad.”

 

The words slipped out before I could think about them as I fashioned a sling around Per’s neck to support his left arm.

 

Per immediately stared at me without blinking.

Mate, if you keep staring at me like that, I’m going to get embarrassed.

 

And when I get embarrassed, my hands start shaking!

 

“Then give me a grandchild.”

 

“And how exactly am I supposed to conjure one out of thin air?”

 

I answered Dad while carefully folding and securing the fabric supporting Per’s arm.

 

Either way, we still needed to go to the hospital and get an X-ray to confirm everything.

 

“Having a grandchild isn’t that difficult. It’s hardly a problem.”

 

I helped the tall man to his feet before turning to Dad.

 

“My dearest father, I don’t want to give you grandchildren yet. I haven’t finished my further studies, and I haven’t even found anyone to marry.”

 

I glanced at the person beside me, who immediately started protesting the moment I finished speaking.

 

“Me! Marry me!”

 

He flashed me an adorable grin and shuffled closer, shamelessly pressing himself against my side.

 

All I could do was shake my head helplessly and keep walking.

 

I needed to take him to the hospital first.

 

“Get past my mum first. Didn’t you see her yesterday? Even with your dad there, my mum still had the guts to throw you out.”

 

I looked up at him, trying to knock some sense into his head.

 

Did he really think my mother would surrender that easily?

 

You’re only a baby venomous snake.

 

Just wait until you meet the Queen of Serpents herself.

 

You’ll shrivel up in seconds!

 

“Don’t worry, Per. You can move in with Dad. As for winning over your mother-in-law? Easy!”

 

“Thank you, Dad!”

 

I was seriously fed up with these two teaming up against me.

 

So those knowing looks Dad and Mr Kawin had been exchanging yesterday were because they’d already planned all this, weren’t they?! And they let me spend all that time crying and throwing a bloody tantrum?!

 

Maybe I really should break his arm.

—————

“Where is little Kan now?”

 

“Er… let me give him another call.”

 

The middle-aged woman gave an awkward smile to her old secondary-school friend, who had brought her beautiful daughter along to meet her only son.

 

Beep… beep… beep…

 

But no matter how many times she called, all she heard was the unanswered ringing.

 

It felt suspiciously like a bad omen. Perhaps her precious son had finally gone completely beyond her reach.

 

“He’s not answering?”

 

“No.”

 

“What should we do, then? Pleng was really looking forward to meeting Kan.”

 

The well-known society lady of the province fell into thought for a moment before smiling once more at the mother and daughter.

 

No matter what happened, she was not going to give in.

 

“In that case, why don’t we go and visit my garden instead?”