EXTERN

Chapter 15

 

Soft.

Comfortable.

Warm.

Smells nice.

 

“Want to take this pillow home with you?”

 

“Mmm….”

 

I shifted slightly so I could hug my bolster more tightly, burying my face against the nice-smelling ‘pillow’ to escape the sunlight streaming in and disturbing me.

 

“Whose boyfriend is this? Cute as fucking hell~”

 

Smooch~

Smack!

 

I immediately jerked myself away from that bearded bastard after he launched a sneak attack on my cheek. Naturally, it took me approximately 0.2 seconds from the moment his beard touched my skin to wake up completely. That’s what being a doctor does to you. You become a light sleeper.

 

“Owww! That hurt, Kan.”

 

“And what exactly did you think you were doing?”

 

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him while he rubbed the spot on his head where I’d smacked him.

 

“Well, Kan’s cheek was asking for it.”

 

“My cheek was asking for it? Or are you just a fucking pervert!?”

 

Fucking lunatic!

Did I make the right decision agreeing to date this bastard or not!?

 

“Talk nicely to me, please. We’re boyfriends now.”

 

The poisonous snake didn’t stop there. He shuffled even closer until he was practically pressed against me. It wasn’t as though the Engineering Faculty’s bus seats were particularly wide to begin with. The whole bus rocked from side to side and looked ancient, with a strangely indie vibe, as though it had been refurbished and kept in service since the university was first founded.

 

“When did I ever tell you we were boyfriends?”

 

I turned and gave him a smug smile. Heh. The more his face fell and the more those eyes of his visibly dimmed, the more I wanted to tease him…This was the good thing about younger guys.

 

Easy to tease.

Easy to fool.

 

“Kaaaan!”

 

Instead of merely complaining, he lunged at me and wrapped himself around my body, rubbing his beard against my face and neck until I started squirming from the tickling sensation.

 

“Hahaha! Fuck! Let go! Hahaha—fucking Peeeeer!”

 

I desperately tried to wriggle free from this upgraded version of the poisonous snake, who was practically wrapping his legs around me while rubbing that fucking beard all over my skin. It tickled like hell!

 

“Agree to date me first! Say you’ll be my boyfriend!”

 

“Fuck! Hahaha! Let me gooooo! Hahaha!”

 

Are you asking me out or fucking threatening me!?

Make up your mind!

 

“Not letting go! Agree first!”

 

He showed absolutely no mercy, continuing his beard assault while his fingers started tickling my waist too. You’re fucking ruthless, Per!

 

“Fine! Fuck! Hahaha! I give up! I’ll date youuuuu!”

 

Has anyone else in the world ever asked someone to be their boyfriend like this!?

 

“Very cute!”

 

Kiss!

 

“Now let me go!”

 

He kissed me right on the forehead before pulling my breathless body into a hug. I’d laughed so hard I could barely breathe…I nearly fucking died!

 

“No. I missed you.”

 

His arms tightened around me. As if that wasn’t enough, he lifted those tree-trunk legs of his and trapped me between them too.

 

“Oi! I know! But I’m fucking hot now! This bus is tiny, and why the hell do you need to love me this much!? Get off!”

 

The bearded bastard lowered his head and blinked at me before planting another kiss on my cheek. Then, finally, he shuffled obediently back into his own seat. It genuinely felt like someone had lifted Mount Sumeru off my body. Heavy bastard!

 

“The faculty buses are all cramped like this.”

 

“But my faculty’s bus isn’t this cramped!”

 

Whoosh!

I immediately felt murderous energy radiating from more than forty Engineering students as they all whipped their heads around to stare at me.

 

“Er….”

 

Pat, pat, pat!

 

“That mouth of yours is looking for trouble! Take that! Punishment! Smack that mouth!”

 

The bearded bastard raised his hand and lightly slapped my lips. Repeatedly. The fucker did it so many times it actually started hurting! At least it made all the Engineering students, whose bus I was currently freeloading on, lose interest and turn away again.

 

“Finished?”

 

I glared murderously at him. You’re really taking advantage now, aren’t you, Beard?

 

“Hehe….”

 

He gave me an awkward grin and obediently sat properly again.

 

“Are we nearly there?”

 

I turned towards the handsome, rugged-looking man, who had now started opening drinks and snacks and serving them to me.

 

“Maybe another two hours. Doctor can sleep for a while if you want. I’ll wake you when we arrive.”

 

Like hell I’m sleeping when I have to keep one eye open around you, Per.

 

“So you can take advantage of my body more conveniently while I’m asleep?”

 

“Oh, come on! If it were that easy, I would’ve done it an hour ago!”

 

He said it proudly and without the slightest hesitation…Should I smack him across the mouth? Dating a man for the first time in my life, especially a creature like this poisonous snake, meant my life would probably never be normal again.

 

“Unload everything and head straight to your accommodation, please!”

 

Keng, a third-year student and the head representative from Medicine, shouted instructions to the students from my faculty as everyone helped carry the medical equipment, supplies and luggage into the accommodation. The park had provided our faculty with three houses. Each one could accommodate around ten people. The younger students crammed more than twenty of themselves into two houses, leaving the third one to us sixth-years. Other faculties that had brought far more students, Engineering, for example, had to borrow tents from the park and pitch them in the open area near the houses.

 

“The air is fucking amazingggg~”

 

Great inhaled deeply and ran around as though he were trying to cram as much of the cool mountain evening air into his lungs as humanly possible. ,I was currently carrying my things into our house. Naturally, I’d taken the opportunity to escape from Beard while he was busy organising people from his own faculty.

 

“Great! Let’s go help the Pharmacy girls!”

 

Guide grabbed Great around the neck and dragged him towards the group of Pharmacy students he’d probably been eyeing since before we even boarded the buses.

 

“Kan, which room are you sleeping in?”

 

May-I, the beautiful girl from our year, turned and asked as I entered the house.

 

“Any room’s fine.”

 

I wasn’t particularly fussy about where I slept. As long as there was somewhere to lie down, I could sleep anywhere. I was a man. No need to be difficult about it.

 

“Great, and Guide will probably share. Natcha and I will share too… so I guess you can have a room for yourself.”

 

I nodded, grabbed the bag my friends had thankfully picked up and brought along for me, then headed into the empty room.

 

“I’m very pleased to see students from so many different faculties coming together for this community development volunteer camp. In fact, this camp hasn’t been held for several years because we need a venue capable of accommodating such a large number of students from different faculties…

 

But this year, the national park has kindly supported the university, allowing us to revive the project. Since we’ve been given the opportunity to help develop this mountain community, I’d like everyone to contribute in as many areas as possible.

 

Think of it as a small model town where each of you has the chance to put the knowledge and skills you’ve studied to their greatest possible use for the villagers. So please do your best, everyone.”

 

“Yes, sirrrr!”

 

“Yes, Ajarn!”

 

Clap, clap, clap!

 

The students applauded politely for the university vice-president who had come to officially open the camp. We were eating food prepared partly by the villagers and partly by the Home Economics students, who’d brought an impressive amount of cooking equipment and ingredients.

 

“Hello, youngsters. I’m the village headman. I’m very happy that all of you have come to help develop our village. I’ve heard you’ll be helping to build a school and providing health checks, too… If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to let us know….”

 

The village headman spoke in the Northern Thai dialect, so we understood some parts and completely missed others. But I assumed he was basically saying he was pleased we’d come to help his village. Honestly, I still didn’t know the full details of what we were supposed to be doing. All I knew was that I’d been brought here to give the villagers health checks. Come on….I was already practically ancient by student standards. I’d finished sixth year, and somehow I was still being dragged to camps with the juniors.

 

“…There are also some rules and warnings I need to give you. People in this village have very strong beliefs regarding spirits and the supernatural. Once evening comes, please don’t leave the accommodation area. It can be dangerous because of wild animals and the spirits of the forest and mountains….”

 

I tried to translate what the village headman was saying in my head. Basically, I assumed he meant: Don’t wander around at night.

 

“…And one more thing. You’re all at an age where you might have husbands, wives or partners now…. But while you’re here, if anyone does anything intimate, whether it’s a man with a woman or a man with another man, it’s considered an offence against the spirits! It’s strictly forbidden!”

 

I was getting tired of translating.

Fuck it.

I’d rather eat the fried chicken the Home Economics juniors made.

It was good.

 

Once my stomach was full, my eyelids started getting heavy. The younger students from my faculty had gathered outside the accommodation to gossip and hang out, while I was preparing to go inside and sleep. I was exhausted from the long journey. 

 

The park accommodation itself wasn’t difficult at all. We had electricity and running water. The village where I’d be helping with health checks, however, was about another kilometre away. Electricity there only reached the roads. Individual households generated their own power or used solar panels.

 

“Oi! Kan, where are you going?”

 

I turned towards Great’s voice. He was wearing a T-shirt and football shorts just like me. The only difference was that he had a bottle of alcohol in his hand. So did Guide.

 

“I’m going to bed.”

 

I answered sleepily and turned back towards the house.

 

Grab!

My two bastard friends each seized one of my arms and immediately started dragging me away.

 

“Come drink with the juniors.”

 

“Oi! Oi! I’m not goiiiiing! I wanna sleeeeep!”

 

I struggled, but there was no way I could overpower these two albino buffaloes. Are you fuckers planning to become orthopaedic surgeons or something!? Why are you using brute force on me!?

 

“Go socialise for once, Kan. Or have you become too good for us now that you’ve got a husband?”

 

“Your fucking father’s my husband!”

 

I turned and shouted so close to Guide that I nearly bit his ear off. Watch that mouth of yours!

 

“Or are you scared of your possessive younger husband?”

 

Great immediately joined in. So basically, you bastards are determined to wind me up until I agree, aren’t you?

 

“Fine! Then fucking drink! Neither of you is allowed to stop until you’re wasted!”

 

I let out a huge sigh and finally followed them willingly.

 

Clink!

 

I had no idea how many times we’d raised our glasses by now. I was only slightly tipsy. I actually had a pretty high alcohol tolerance, and I knew my own limits. There was no way I could let myself get completely drunk because we had work to do tomorrow. My two bastard friends, however- those fuckers were already slithering around drunk before I was!

 

We were sitting around the campfire drinking with the Engineering juniors because Great and Guide had somehow become friendly enough with them to score free alcohol. And yes…. The person responsible for luring my friends over here could only be—

 

“Kaaaan~ I’m druuunk~”

 

The poisonous snake pretended to slither all over me, wrapping himself around my arms and legs as though he were absolutely wasted. Even though I’d personally watched him drink barely anything.

 

Fake bastard. You’re planning to take advantage of me, aren’t you? Dream on!

 

“If you’re drunk, stop drinking. I’m going to bed.”

 

I started to stand, but Beard pulled me straight onto his lap. For fuck’s sake. Does he understand that I’m not some tiny, delicate little girl? I’m 185 centimetres tall and weigh 73 kilos!

 

“Stay a little longer~”

 

“You want me to stay because I’m not drunk enough yet, right?”

 

I narrowed my eyes knowingly. You’re planning to get me drunk, aren’t you, you shameless Beard?

 

“Kaaaan!”

 

He stuck out his lower lip and pouted because I’d seen straight through him. What!? How is this somehow my fault?

 

“Kan.”

 

I turned towards the voice. At the same time, I felt the thick arm around my waist tighten.

 

“Hmm?”

 

I responded to Natcha, who had stopped beside the log where Per and I were sitting.

 

“Come with me to the bathroom…. It’s dark.”

 

I nodded and tried to peel my clingy younger boyfriend’s hands off my waist.

 

“Don’t go.”

 

Beard whispered quietly and tightened his arms around me even more…Like a possessive child guarding his favourite toy.

 

“Per… My friend's a woman. It’s dangerous.”

 

I turned towards him and caught a flicker of vulnerability in Mr Cool Guy’s eyes.

 

“But I’m a drunk, handsome man. Aren’t you worried someone might come along and steal me if you leave me here alone?”

 

I let out a long sigh at Gear Acha’s ridiculous excuse.

 

“Just a minute.”

 

That was all I said before forcibly prying myself free.

 

“….”

 

“….”

 

Both Per and Natcha fell silent and briefly stared at each other.

 

“Come on.”

 

I nodded for Natcha to follow me. It was only walking my female friend to the bathroom.

 

…What could possibly happen?