EXTERN

Chapter 14

 

“What did you say!?”

 

I tilted my head and asked Ajarn Bow from Student Affairs again. Maybe I hadn’t heard her properly just now.

 

“Come on, Kan, right now you’re only waiting for the results of Step Three of the NL exam, aren’t you? You don’t have any classes left. Please go to the volunteer camp and help us out.”

 

Yes… At this point, you could pretty much say I was about to finish my sixth year completely. All I had left to do was wait for the results of the third stage of the medical licensing examination. Compared with the other faculties at the university, Medicine finished the academic year earlier than everyone else. But that was only because our first-semester break lasted one bloody week!

 

“But I don’t wan—”

 

“It’s a volunteer community development camp up in the mountains, Kan. We need sixth-year medical students there to help give the villagers health checks anyway, and who could do that job better than you?”

 

There were plenty of people, Ajarn! If you’re going to persuade me this hard, you might as well just call it an order instead of pretending you’re asking.

 

“Yes, Ajarn.”

 

“Then there’ll be a bus picking everyone up at the university this Friday.”

 

I nodded obediently before walking out of the Student Affairs office with my head lowered in annoyance. Instead of getting to relax at my parents’ house in the suburbs, I had to go off to some volunteer camp. I wanted to go home and see Mum and Dad for once.

 

“What’s up, Kan? What did Sister Bow order you to do this time?”

 

Guide walked over and slapped me on the shoulder as I came out, while Great silently followed behind him.

 

“She wants us to go to a volunteer camp this Friday.”

 

“Us?”

 

Great immediately turned towards me.

 

“Yeah! All of us. Me, you, that bastard Guide, May-I… Natcha.”

 

Ajarn Bow had assigned my whole group.

 

“Is it the same camp the university’s organising?”

 

“What camp?”

 

I turned towards Guide in confusion. Our university organised loads of camps.

 

“The community development volunteer camp. Loads of faculties are going together: Medicine, Dentistry, Pharmacy, Veterinary Medicine, Agriculture, all the way to Engineering.”

 

I immediately frowned.

…That was a fucking huge camp. No wonder they only needed a few people from each faculty.

 

“Probably.”

 

I shrugged, not particularly bothered.

It was only a volunteer camp.

I didn’t have anything else to do right now anyway.

 

I’d been back at my condo for about a week. Almost three months had passed since the day I met Per’s mother. Per and I hadn’t seen each other at all for the past two months. I knew he came around my condo frequently, but because I’d practically hidden myself inside the hospital, we never had the chance to meet. And he was probably busy with his final-year project too. Which was good for me. It helped me get over him faster.

 

I continued packing my clothes, using the opportunity to tidy the room as I went. Then something inside a drawer caught my eye. A leather necklace with a gear-shaped pendant lay there. I picked it up and stared at it again. If we were together right now, what would we be doing?

 

…Watching a film?

Drip.

 

…Putting face masks on?

Drip.

 

…Cooking together?

Drip.

 

…Or maybe we’d simply be lying somewhere, holding each other.

“Hic….”

 

The gear pendant blurred behind a veil of tears. I could barely hold my emotions back anymore. Everything had happened so quickly. He’d entered my life because I was the one who pulled him into it. I was the one who let him come closer, even though I hadn’t been certain of my own feelings and In the end, I was the one left sitting here heartbroken. Because I’d realised my feelings too late.

 

Far too late….

…I’d fallen in love with that boy.

 

The university sports field was filled with noisy chatter. Students from each faculty sat around in groups, talking while they waited for the buses and for everyone to arrive. Most of the students from the other faculties were second- and third-years. The older students obviously weren’t going to waste their time coming to something like this when they had graduation to worry about. As for old people like us—soon-to-be interns—we could only sit there watching the youngsters happily mess around. Especially….

 

“Oi, Great! Look at that girl! That one!”

 

Guide pointed towards a Pharmacy student wearing a short crop top that flashed her pale stomach and tight, sporty trousers.

 

“Fucking hell. Is she going up a mountain or walking a catwalk? Her shirt’s tiny, and those trousers are fucking tight.”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

I narrowed my eyes at Great, whose eyes were practically glowing as he examined the girl from head to toe.

 

“Of course I fucking dooooo!”

 

I shook my head in exasperation at my two beloved friends. They were how old now, and they were still perving over younger students? I didn’t like younger guys! They were fucking whiny….

 

“Oi! Kan! Isn’t that Per?”

 

Great’s voice rang out again as he pointed towards a group of Engineering students I hadn’t bothered looking at. My entire body went cold, as though someone had poured ice water over me. I shot to my feet, ready to escape immediately.

 

“Kan, where are you going? The bus is here.”

 

I turned towards Natcha, who looked up and met my eyes. My friends and the fifth-year juniors were already getting to their feet, preparing to board our faculty’s bus.

 

“…Kan.”

 

I didn’t turn around. But I knew that voice. The voice I’d desperately wanted to hear for the past two months. My hand tightened around my luggage…The wall I’d built around my feelings collapsed instantly.

 

Grab!

Per took my hand and gave it a gentle tug, making me turn towards him.

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

 

Teasing cheers erupted across the sports field. And of course, the source could only be 

the Engineering students.

 

“….”

 

I lowered my head. I didn’t want to look at anyone. I was confused, and I hated situations I couldn’t control like this. I should run.

 

“I missed you.”

 

I lifted my head and looked at the man in front of me again. My eyes immediately began burning.… I missed him too.

 

“….”

 

If only this world didn’t have words like ‘impossible’ or ‘inappropriate’.

 

“Please don’t run away from me again… I’m begging you.”

 

The usually cool junior from another faculty looked visibly worn down as he pleaded with me, tightening his grip on my hand. Everything around me suddenly became muffled. I couldn’t hear the teasing cheers anymore. My free hand tightened around my bag. Then I forcefully pulled my other hand out of his.

 

“I don’t have time to play games with you.”

 

I gave a bitter little smirk, mocking myself more than him, then turned to walk towards my bus.

 

Whoosh!

 

“Oi!”

 

My feet suddenly left the ground.

What the fuck!?

How dare this bastard pick me up!?

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

The screaming and cheering immediately became deafening.

 

“PUT ME DOWN!!!”

 

Smack!

A large hand landed squarely on my arse like an adult punishing a naughty child.

Oi! I’m your fucking senior, Per!

 

“If talking nicely doesn’t work… then I guess I’ll just have to kidnap you.”

 

I struggled against him, but now I finally believed this bastard genuinely had the strength of a buffalo. No matter how much I thrashed around, I couldn’t get free. And to make matters worse, he carried me straight towards the Engineering bus. As for my wonderful friends? They just stood there blinking at us. Not one of the bastards tried to stop him!

 

Thump!

My entire body was dumped into the window seat on the Engineering Faculty’s bus. More than ten people stared at me immediately.

 

“I’m going to my own faculty’s bus.”

 

I shot to my feet and prepared to escape. Only to immediately drop back into my seat when that gigantic bastard sat down beside me and completely blocked the aisle. The only escape route left was jumping out the fucking window.

 

“Uncle!!! I’ve collected my wife! You can drive now!”

 

“FUCKING PER!”

 

I nearly raised my hand and smacked him across the mouth. But then I noticed his expression. He looked genuinely angry. Angrier than I’d ever seen him before. So I quietly sat there and behaved myself for the time being. I wasn’t taking any risks. If the bastard suddenly lost his mind and murdered me on the bus, we’d probably both end up famous.

 

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

 

Once the bus started moving and the Engineering students finally stopped staring at me and went back to singing and shouting, the poisonous snake beside me immediately turned his furious gaze on me.

 

…Don’t look so angry.

You’re making me nervous.

 

“I wasn’t avoiding you.”

 

I turned my face towards the window. Hopefully my beloved friends had picked up the luggage I’d dropped while being abducted.

 

“Kan… talk to me properly.”

 

The younger man cupped my face firmly, preventing me from turning away.

 

“….”

 

“What happened?”

 

I swallowed nervously. How the hell was I supposed to explain this? His mother didn’t like me. And we weren’t even together yet.

 

“…Your mum doesn’t like me.”

 

The hardness in his eyes softened, as though he immediately understood what I meant.

 

“She came to see me and told me to get out of your life.”

 

“And you had to listen to her?”

 

“Well, she’s your mother! Of course she’s going to be protective of her son!”

 

Now I was starting to get irritated too. I’d finally told him about this massive obstacle standing between us, yet he didn’t seem to consider it an obstacle at all.

 

“Doctor, are you dating my mother or are you dating me? Why should you care?”

 

“….”

 

I fell silent. Those beautiful eyes stared directly into mine, demanding an answer.

 

“Answer me. Are you dating my mum or me?”

 

“You.”

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!”

 

I nearly jumped out of my skin. I hadn’t realised I’d answered while the entire fucking bus had gone silent.

 

“THE DOCTOR-IN-LAW FINALLY ADMITTED IT!!!”

 

Another wave of cheering erupted from the Engineering students. Meanwhile, the bastard beside me was grinning smugly, looking so ridiculously pleased with himself that I wanted to hit him.

 

“Aww, I’m embarrassed now…. The doctor admitted it first. And you’re even wearing my necklace.”

 

I frowned and touched my neck. Only then did I realise— The Engineering gear necklace I’d put on last night and forgotten about was still around my neck!!!

 

“Oi! I didn’t mean to—”

 

Grab!

The man beside me pulled me tightly into his arms. He held me as though he’d been longing to do it forever. And this time….I didn’t want to push him away either.

 

“Can you never do this again?”

 

“….”

 

Per whispered into my ear in such a pleading voice that my heart trembled.

 

“If something happens, can we just talk about it…? Please don’t disappear like that again.”

 

“….”

 

I smiled against his chest and wrapped my arms around him too.

 

“…I was going fucking crazy.”

 

“Mmm.”

 

I murmured softly, burying my face against his strong chest. I could feel just how hot my face had become.

 

“Me too.”

 

Then music began playing through the bus speakers. The juniors immediately started singing at the tops of their lungs, swaying along to the rhythm. The final scene simply… doesn’t end happily, not like the love stories… we’ve always heard. There’s nothing strange about it, is there?

You and I… we both knew
That the love we had… could never be….
If you ask whether it hurts,
I’ll tell you the answer~

 

“From now on, can this just be about us?” Per asked. “However it ends… let it happen because of a decision we made. That’s all I want.”

 

Our eyes met, and I gave him a small nod. I didn’t want to run away from my own feelings anymore. It was exhausting. Do you know from the very first day  The two of us met, There hasn’t been a single day I’ve regretted, Because the love we had was real~

 

“Doctor probably never knew this… but I liked you before you even knew who I was.”

 

“Huh!?”

 

I frowned deeply. When the hell did this bastard start liking me? If I could choose all over again, I’d still ask for us to meet. Even if our love could never have a happy ending. If I could go back to that day, I’d still ask for us to meet. Even if the dream never came true, my heart would still have its happy ending.

 

“But whether you knew or not doesn’t matter anymore….”

 

The poisonous snake gave me a smile that instantly made my entire world brighter. How it ends doesn’t matter. Today… I understand, and I can accept it. Ask me how badly it hurts…No matter how much it hurts, I love you even more~

 

“…All you need to know is that I love you now… and I’m never going to let myself lose you that easily again.”

 

From now on, I’ll remember only the beautiful memories we made, And in my heart… Simply thinking of you will be enough~

 

I lifted my face and looked seriously into his eyes.

I needed him to understand exactly what I was about to say.

 

“If you ever dump me, you’re fucking dead!”